Adam Stanheight and his gf headcanons 18+

♡note♡: hi !!! self indulgent once again !! as always my reader is black coded<3 but you can still read if you aren't !! like and reblog drop in a request pls:) or you can drop in anon or as yourself and talk to me !! either are GREATLY appreciated ily !! also i write adam in a not shitty! apt :) and trap never happened here☆

~18+ mdni~

♡content warnings♡: missionary, breeding, established safe words, rough oral (m/f recieving), limit pushing, humilation, dacryphilia, kissing, breath play... don't blink!, toys, masturbation, teasing, forced? orgasms, overstimulation, doggy style, marking, degradation, multiple orgasms, fingering, squirting, pinning, name calling, affirmation kink (f recieving), half clothed sex, photos, nudes, smoking, creaming

sfw

OMG HE LOVES HER SO MUCH! like he physically cannot live without her or he wouldn't make it. he's so possessive and will give you the world if you ask him to. he's super!! clingy, he was ecstatic when you bought a place near him. either you'd be at his place all the time or he'll be over at yours.

adam is a skinny white boy so you know what that means... his girl is 100% a chubby short black girl! i don't make the rules over here. i'm NOT JUST saying this just bc i'm fat and brown skinned but liked dude think about it... who loves emo/alt music? EXACTLY so when you met him at the record store for the first time he couldn't help but notice how cute you were peeking in the cases on ur tippy toes next to him.

"hi, i'm adam", he confidently turned to you and introduced himself. smiling ever so gently, warmly welcoming you to reciprocate and you did. the two of you walked around the store together for almost an hour talking about everyone you two like. he slides you his number hoping he'd get a "yes" to the date he proposed.

when you agreed to go out with him he was over the moon with excitement. he bought you a huge bouquet of pink roses and gave them to you with a kiss on your cheek. he noticed that it was your favorite color because of your pretty little outfit you were wear that day.

adam loves holding your hand, reminding you that he's not going anywhere. you two could be doing something so simple as cleaning up together and he'd sneak up on you just to hold your hand and leave a sweet kiss on your palm. he also loves putting his arm around your waist while you two are walking, keeping you close at all times. he also loves for you to hold the loop of his jeans y'all know it looks silly but it keeps him grounded and safe.

adam tries to cook for you... well he knows that you like to cook and he learns from you and if he has a free day he'll surprise you after a long day with a recipe you taught him and he surprisingly does really well considering it was his first time cooking for someone other than himself. he's easy to please when it comes to eating as well and he loves and appreciates everything you cook for him. he's not too picky either and is willing to try anything if you like it.

the quiet time the two of you spend together is cherished by the both of you. he could be on the couch organizing a portfolio and you're behind him at the table drawing or writing. being in each other's presence is enough for you two. adam loves watching you work as you do to him. standing in his dark room with him watching with your elbows on his table as develops he photos and explains the process is better than listening to your favorite podcast atm.

you're adam's little spoon... idc what anyone else says about adam being the little spoon. this man is so posessive over you til it's ridiculous. he holds you tightly in his arms like it's therapy for him. he LOVES to play with how soft you are gosh, your tummy, your thighs, your cute arms UGH he adores it sooooo much !!! he loves to rest his head on your stomach feeling the soft flesh under his fingers as you're relaxing with him.

UGHHHHH I WANNA KEEP GOING ON THIS I'M WRITING A SEPERATE FIC FOR THIS ONE HERE !! PLEASE SOMEONE TAKE MY PHONE AWAY PLS I WANNA SQUISH ADAM SO BADLY I JUST WANNA CUDDLE HIM SO HE CAN GROPE AND TOUCH ME I'M INSANE Y'ALL...

adam loves when you fall asleep on or near him. he loves that he makes you feel safe enough to rest in his arms. he'd be so surprised the first time it happens he goes into his drawer inside the tv stand and fetches you a throw blanket. tucking you in like a cute burrito and kissing your cheek as he retreats to the recliner near you. or when you fall asleep on him is even better because he can feel you breathing and hear your cute little snores up close and personal. he doesn't even mind if you drool on him. "it's so cute!", he always reassures to you.

adam loves watching horror movies with you. finding out you loved them as much as he did he was estatic. always finding new underground films for you to watch. you two shared your letterboxds' with that you knew y'all clicked at that moment. nights with him in his bed watching scary movies out beat spending money on bad service in a overpriced restaurant any day.

nsfw

creds to @eloquentmoon for the prompts

this man loves when you beg him for kisses. he doesn't deny his baby for long but to hear those three words fall from your needy lips "please kiss me." it makes him want to absolutely devour you and leave you satisfied never wanting another on your tongue. the way you gently tug at his flannel's collar pulling him in closer for you to taste him drives him mad and deeper in love with you. he obliges your every request. also! he loves fucking you with him on top so he can lean down to kiss his pretty girl >.<

when adam has your head all fuzzy with pleasure he has to put an end to your mindless babbling by suggesting you to "use your words, dummy." yeah adam can be super mean sometimes but it's only because you asked for it and have totally gone silent besides the whiny moans you're emiting. i mean he can't blame you when you've had your 4th orgasm in 20 minutes. he gets realy close to you and playfully waves his hand before your eyes asking "is anyone up there?" refering to your long gone brain.

he loves the moments when you let him take photos of you undressing. the lit cigarette that dangles from his lips, his eyes focused catching every side of you he admires. your dress, your shoulders, your cute sides, and it all drives him mad. flashing, flashing flashing, photo after photo showcasing his beautiful girl in her natural form. "keep your eyes on me, so pretty..." he moans rolling his hips into your own. you know once all the clothes are gone he's immediately inside you! flashing...flashing. oh, yes is he still snapping pics. you bet your ass he is.

adam loves praising his girl telling her how cute she is how good she's doing. especially when he's got her bent over the counter of his dark room workspace. your panties along side your skirt pool down ankles and feet as adam works his hips into gripping your soft waist as he pulls you back and forth onto his length. "you take me so well, sweetheart" he's practically whining into your ear caging you in underneath him fucking you harder. your moans fill dark room as he leans and kisses you roughly.

in addition to that being said... adam's favorite position is missionary but!... when he's on his knees in front of you holding your squishy thighs down against the bed. he's pummeling into you again and again... over and over. "spread your legs wider f'me, love" he groans pushing them further apart making you feel a yummy burning stretch in your thighs. he has the best seat in the house viewing his thick cock spliting your poor little pussy wide open. he often rubs your little clit to making it so hard to stay still.

adam loves to watch you pleasure yourself while he fucks you. he has no shame in telling you to either reach down and rub your clit or hold a vibe to it. he loves how the added stimulation makes you clench even harder around him. "touch yourself, princess." he whispers in your ear while pounding away at your slick cunt. even when he's not fucking you there are times when he wants to see you doing all the work.

oh, he will give his girl rounds nearly making her go insane. you can't believe how long this man can last while fucking you into oblivion. ruining your pretty brown skin in the process he tucks his head in the crook of your neck sucking and leaving his mark while railing you from behind for the 2nd time today. just before that he had your wrists pinned above your head while he works into you leaving you absolutely ravished under him. he gives you his neediest kisses whining almost "i can't get enough of you, darling." he continues rolling his hips giving you your 5th but not last orgasm of the night.

your cunt is his favorite meal. plain and simple... he can cum just from slobbering your clit down alone. "you taste so good, my love.", moaning against you adding more vibrations for the sensations he's giving you. he loves it when it gets too much for you and your chubby thighs press around his head, his sweaty hair dampening them a little more. but not as juicy and slick adam has your pretty hole. licking and twisting his fingers deeper past the knuckle abusing that spongy spot within your warm walls. even making you squirt sometimes.

he pushes your limits (with consent of course) when your on your knees in front of him between his legs. his cock buried in your throat so deliciously. your soft hands grip at his thighs when he pushes your head down seemingly impossible but FURTHER down his thick length. filling your senses with him and only him. he notices how you gag and sputter around him, ignoring it because youv'e yet to use your physical safe word. even when those pretty brown eyes of yours fill with tears. "breathe through your nose, slut." he says eyes rolling back and groaning from the feeling of your hot mouth on him.

he WILL talk you through your orgasm!! i don't make the rules... he's deep in your cunt giving you languid strokes telling you how pretty you are for him. he angles his hips differently plunging deeper into your sticky walls (he's already came in you at least twice) pushing you closer and closer to the edge. he has your thighs up against either of your ears making your tummy fat roll so cutely. "does that feel good, my love?" he knows damn well he's making your head spin with every thrust. you can only nod frantically eyes crossing a little bit. "that's it princess, be a good girl and cream all over this cock."

Ok...fuck, marry, kill for the venus signs? Is it any different for you from the rising signs?

Omg baby I'm so glad you asked because YES IT IS. I mean not for all of them, but yes some of them.

Friend, Marry, Kill w/ The Venus Signs

Aries: Friend. I couldn't date y'all because you would find me boring and too closed-off, BUT I appreciate you. First off, I am envious of the outfits you're able to pull off like damn. Some of your looks are really bold and I wouldn't even TOUCH those pieces, but you look iconic go off. I'm also envious of your ability to just have fun, casual relationships. On a side note, when you do settle down you get all protective and it's actually really sweet. This is a bit of an odd thing to say, but y'all make amazing parents. Also, I trust you to give me movie recs because somehow you're always right.

Taurus: Marry. I've said this here and here but you are my favourite. Sorry to everyone else, but you are the best. I just feel like you understand exactly what I want?? I have a Taurus Moon, Mars and rising and lemme tell you there is NO PLACEMENT that makes me feel as loved as Taurus Venus. I love how you are always a safe place for me. I love how you understand that while I never ask, yes I absolutely want a hug. Just a little side note, I know that Taurus is known for being traditional and conservative, but honestly the biggest advocates for gender and marriage equality I've ever met have Taurus Venus (and Taurus Moon). **I specifically said gender and marriage equality because they are the causes that Venus affects most**

Gemini: Friend. Listen I know I slandered y'all in this post. HOWEVER. You are only red flags in a romantic sense. I have like a sibling/buddy kind of love for you guys. You don't really do 'sweet gestures' or anything like that, but you do little things day-in and day-out that show how you care. For example, telling me something you read about my favourite singer. Or watching an interview about my favourite show, simply because you know it's my favourite. Or knowing I like to bake, so you look up new recipes you think I might like to try. Your love language is learning. You learn about the people you love, and what they love, in the hopes it makes them love you. Let me tell you honey, I do <3

Cancer: Marry. Another one I've gone on about many, many, many times before (yes they are all separate links to separate posts lol). That said, I'm happy to say more :). The way you embrace me for exactly who I am. The way you always try your best to cheer me up. The way that I know you're torn between living in the moment with me, and pausing for a second so you can remember us forever. All of these are reasons that I am constantly falling in love with Cancer Venus, over and over again. You are so precious. My only complaint is that while you treat everyone as they deserve to be treated, why won't you let me treat you? You're special and worth cherishing too, ya know. Seriously if y'all ever need me to come on here and spill my love for Cancer Venus LET ME KNOW because I fucking will.

Leo: Marry. This time, I'm using 'Marry' in a platonic way. I have never been interested in Leo Venus in a romantic way, and I honestly think a relationship between us wouldn't work. BUT. 'Friend' was too low of of a pedestal for you. Some of the people I've (platonically) loved most have Leo Venus. I am forever indebted to you. I miss you so much when you're gone, and I think about you all the time. We always just seem to click, you know? I love how you remember all my big days. I love how you remember all of our jokes. I love how you always defend me. I love how you spend so much time thinking about me. Not in a weird way, but you often go "Oh, I wonder if PR will like this?" or "Oh, PR would be great at that job" or "Oh, I know what PR would say if she heard that". It's truly a blessing to be cared for by you.

Virgo: Marry. I long for the opportunity to love you. I mean, I love you already, but I mean I want to love you openly. I want to get us matching little rings that, while cheap, hold a lot of sentimental value. I want to go strawberry picking with you. I want to go candle shopping together and buy all your favourites, so my room can smell more like you. What I'm about to say isn't poetic or romantic in the slightest, but I assure you I mean it with my whole being; FUCK I WANT A VIRGO VENUS GIRLFRIEND. Thank you for listening <3. P.S If any there's any wlw Virgo Venus girls in my comments who would like to move to a cottage in a forest where we can live with our cat and our lil veggie garden let me know 🥰🥰

Libra: Kill. Technically I *was* dead-set on marrying one of you and spending the rest of my life one of you at a particular point in time. HOWEVER that was ages ago and being in a long-term relationship with you gave me all the ammo I need to destroy you :). I'm kidding, but I can't say that I'd ever date a Libra Venus again. Being cute and affectionate and pretty and whatnot is nice in theory. But it get's real annoying (for me) after a while. I hate any kind of PDA with my whole soul. I hate when you take 'cute couple photos' and stuff. I hate when you talk to your friends about us. None of these are inherently bad, in fact a lot of people love when their partners do these things! Personally though, it drives me up the wall. So I chose to kill you, you are dead :)

Scorpio: Kill. I do NOT trust you. Are you arguably the most trustworthy sign? Yes. That does not change the fact that Ted Bundy also had this placement, and so does a guy that I know who is creepy and an all-round terrible person when it comes to relationships. You give me yandere vibes. Is that playing on completely wrong stereotypes, that Scorpio is violent and scary? Absolutely. Doesn't change the fact that I see it as a red flag though, sorry babes :(. Awkwardly enough, I am generally kind of attracted to you in a toxic way. Which is annoying because you guys can sense that and often start to make a move if you like me too. But I'll never date you because you freak me out. So I'm stuck in a weird loop, where I am better just to block you. This is the real "it's not you it's me". Sorry guys </3

Sagittarius: Friend. Bestie vibes only. Let it be known though, when I say bestie, I mean bestie. Me and you are like this 🤞. I will flirt with you incessantly, I will text you all the time, I will (affectionately) bully you at all times. You will be forced to hear about whatever character I'm sobbing over, whatever new show I'm watching, whatever new food I'm making, whatever new clothes I'm buying. If it helps, I'll repay you in homemade cookies and intense platonic affection? I hope you're okay with physical touch because I'll be on you constantly. Kissing your forehead, resting my head on your shoulder, putting my feet in your lap, fixing up your clothes and jewellery, you name it. I know this seems like overkill, but it's only because you make me comfortable and happy enough to express how I feel about you. If you want me to stop, obviously I will, but just know I'm not trying to be annoying! I just love you and I'm sort of touch starved :(

Capricorn: Friend. This is my placement so I'm sorry if I seem biased. I'll be honest, I could not date one of you mf's it would be the end of me. I love you though!!! I think it's funny how whenever someone has a problem, your instinct is to offer advice or try to fix it. Please work on letting people sort out their own issues. If you fix things everyone, you're going to burn yourself out and hate the world (and the people you keep helping). Trust me. Y'all are such cuddle bugs don't even pretend. I know how desperately you want someone to hold, or be held by. I know how desperately you want someone to look after you the way you look after everyone else. I know how desperately you want someone *just once* to put the same amount of effort you put into them, back to into you (did that make sense?). It's okay honey. I'm here. I know.

Aquarius: Kill. Y'all just see whatever you want to see in other people. That means you see the best in everyone, which is great! It also means that you don't see people for how they truly are. It's almost as if your love is conditional. Of course, all love is conditional, but your love has the strictest conditions. You are hard to win over because you know what you're worth. That is an amazing quality, that I wish everyone had! Sometimes you don't hold yourself to that same standard though. You are unpredictable. Not in a fun or quirky way. I shouldn't have to make a wild guess about which side I'll see today- Dr Jekyll or Mr Hyde. I'm sure other people find you very sweet and interesting! You freak me out though sorry.

Pisces: Friend. CUUUUTE!! CUTE CUTE CUTE! I feel like you' be the best to go to a painting class with or something. You're so cute when you're in love! My favourite thing is hearing you gush about whoever you have a crush on now. Also, I'll do a lil fashion show with you any day baby <3. You remind me of Minecraft, and those little red mushrooms with white dots on them that you see in forests and fairy tales. Pretty <33333 Such a pretty placement <33333 Everyone with this placement is stunning <33333333

Okay everyone, this is what I have for today! Sometimes I think it's funny that I treat these like I'm speaking to a person I know with these placements, but I'm literally just thinking of the sign lmao. I would say my bad, but you guys seem to love these posts. Let me know what you guys think! I love you all, and I'm sending everyone good happy vibes <33333

P.S Would y'all be interested in finding out about my placements? I mention them here and there, but I've never done a post solely talking about my chart. Would you guys be interested in what I have to say about my placements, or no? No worries either way, just comment if you'd wanna see that :)

will you write a part 2 for yuta's mafia boss? maybe how he cares for his s/o?

Omg definitely!!!

A/N: I'm so sorry for taking so long to do this request!! I definitely do want to do it but was busy the past few weeks since intern has been a bit hectic but I'm good now so, leggo!!

Warning: fluff!! tsundere Yuta because let's be real, he looks cold but is such a softie!!

Also, side note, idk why I decided to use bullet points. Just felt that it would fit better since it's not really a story or some sort hehehe

First and foremost, as mentioned, I definitely think that Yuta is a tsundere

For those who don't know what a tsundere is, essentially, you would seem so cold towards someone (even a crush or lover) but in reality, you're a big softie for them and would do anything for them

But!! I feel that it would just be at the beginning of the relationship since he has never been in a committed relationship

So, please cut him some slack at the beginning

Doesn't know how to show affection much but I can see him surprising you out of nowhere

Like, you'd just text him that you're done with work and was about to head home when suddenly you saw him in his tesla (if you know, you know) then would take you out for dinner before hanging out with you at your place

Or like when you're feeling scruffy or not in the mood to work, you would rant to him and suddenly someone at the office mentioned that you got a package that would either be your favourite food from your favourite restaurant or your favourite treats/snacks

Would most likely take you out to the movies or a fair if there were any

Like, you told him about this one movie coming out and outta nowhere, he would tell you that he already booked tickets (the man has his ways, don't question him)

Would most likely be clingy when he let loose of himself

You staying over at his place? Better prepare yourself for little to no personal space because this man wants your attention

I can also see him trying his best to help you cook (if you can't cook, is fine, he'd order takeout for the both of you)

Would let you in on some of his works, not much, since he doesn't want to be lectured by some of his mates

Would be jelly when you hang around with the other neos more; especially the younger ones

"Ya!! Why don't you all find yourself your own S/O?! They're mine!! GET OFF OF THEM!!" - tsundere Yuta

Will warn you if he was going on a mission; so that you'll stay at home or if you're scared, call one of the other neos

Will probably have eyes everywhere to make sure you're alright. He really can't take it if something were to happen to you

Like, he was ready to use his gun when he saw one of your co-workers being a bit too close to you

As much as he values your safety, it doesn't mean that y'all don't have dates that involve going around the area

You'd complain to him that you've always wanted to have a picnic which he was confused about what's wrong eating at home or at a cafe or restaurant but would go with the flow

Would actually enjoy himself during the picnic

Would probably take turns with you on laying on each other's lap

Won't say it but he loves it when you pat his head or even brushed his hair or even playing with it; those little gestures would make his heart flutter and a smile would definitely crept up on his face

As time went out, he would definitely fall more in love with you and his tsundere side would slowly disappear and would be replaced with a childish, clingy man that would find different ways to surprise you, to show you how much he loves and cherish you

Overall, despite his reputation as a mafia boss and cold demeanour, Yuta would always turn soft to you no matter what; whether it's his looks or his actions

Oh, to have Yuta or one of the neos :" cries in singleness

JK!! EVEN IF YOU'RE SINGLE, ENJOY YOUR SINGLENESS, FIND YOUR PATH IN LIFE AND DON'T FEEL PRESSURED IN ANYTHING!!

A/N: kay, I really hope that this was alright. I should try to write more fluff again. But like the hackers content that NCT 127 have and Nomin's 'Just Do It' just gives me all those mafia/bad boys vibes :" Also, inbox is open but I may be a bit slow in doing them. Alright, have a wonderful weekend and stay safe everyone :) xoxo vinet

!!important announcement everyone!!

i am gonna be leaving this account, permanently. and no, i do not tend on just leaving like that, so i'm gonna be putting an explanation in q&a form below the cut! please read the entire thing.

. . ⇢ are you going to deactivate? no, no i am not.

. . ⇢ emma, what the fuck? lemme explain. you see, i am simply not gonna be active on tumblr anymore. i'm gonna be changing admins.

. . ⇢ who's the new admin then? i'm assuming most people here know her,, @ticklish-switch-armystay or ava!

. . ⇢ emma, why? i'm leaving my home-country. i'm shifting forever, and i want this to start afresh now. tumblr gave me many beautiful memories, and i'm super grateful for them, and i'll cherish them for the rest of my life.

. . ⇢ so, is this goodbye forever? until anything changes, unfortunately, yes. however, if i make any other social acc, i'll definitely let everyone know :D

. . ⇢ well then, why ava? coz she is talented, brilliant, incredible, amazing, show-stopping, spectacular, never the same, totally unique, completely not ever been done before, unafraid to reference or not reference, put it in a blender, shit on it, vomit on it, eat it, give birth to it. lol no- but i know her the best and she is my bestie, so yes.

. . ⇢ when? at 10pm EST, on the 20th!

. . ⇢ how is this gonna happen? like ?? ava already knows my gmail, and i'll give her my password and she'll login to tumblr with that! once that's done, she'll change the password for security reasons lol.

. . ⇢ does this go for all your accounts? not revealing- but yes. you'll see the changes. :D

. . ⇢ does ava have anything to say? @ticklish-switch-armystay

. . ⇢ do you have anything to say? yes, i do. @ticklish-switch-armystay, run my acc properly- if you dont want cranberry juice in your socks. @notadamnotadam my og bestie- love you /p and take good care of ava, ok? @han-jisungieee, my homie-bestie-bitch thing, i love you- and best of luck- in life and don't let school bite your ass too much. @sunshine-babychick MY MAN- youre so amazing, so fun to talk to, supah-dupah sweet,, and i love you so SO much, yeah? and ty for making my pfp, it's so pretty!!! @bunnnnnnyyy and @magicomega06,, both of you are so sweet and fun, love y'all <33 @smileydwaekki, you are sO FUCKING FUNNY OMG- and honestly,, ty for taking such good care of minho/me when i was little, it was vv nice of you. love you <3 @baby-sunoo YOU ARE SO AMAZING OMG JKBDVKBH and i love you so so so so much <3333 @maybe-natalee-03, i approve you trying to help us, and i'm sorry if i was too rude. love you <3 @jjk-koo and @honeybee-hobi, both of y'all have been super supportive and y'all are SO amazing, i love y'all <33 @cityofdreams-writing, we really haven't interacted, but ty for being my anon, ava told me about it. and @/everyone- pls call @kikibummiee keyrat for me, ONCE PLS- and,, ty for all the memories, truly. love everyone <33 all of y'all are amazing, and i hope you understand that i think this is the best thing for me imo. i trust and love all of y'all vv dearly <3 i'm not the best at words, so please forgive me for that- ik this is kinda abrupt,, but i've been planning this for super long.

well,, i'm still taking asks till then- and you can send asks to me if you wanna anything about me!

love y'all <33

- emma. <3

Omg Axis or Allies (your choice) react to their s/o crying when they find out their boyfriend is an immortal country because they love them so much but they can’t get over their dream of growing old and having grandkids with the person they love and they just don’t know if they can be with them anymore 🥺

Hey- hey stop stabbing my emotions (I say as I think about this daily ಥJಥ ) Bold of you to assume I can't turn this into fluff though, HAHA! Also, going to go with the Axis since it was first on the list! (And if I have to write this with Russia involved I'll cry. Y'all going to have to send a request to get me to do that!)

TW: Light mentions of sleeping around

Axis' S/O cries over being Mortal!

Germany:

His heart pretty much shattered.

Especially when he hears the reason his S/O is sobbing so hard.

They were right.

One day they will leave his side, and he sometimes forgets that. So he let his own tears fall.

He decided if this was truly their fate, he will let his S/O see him in his most vulnerable state.

He held them, not even bothering to console them. How could he? This was doomed to happen, and he has had it happen before, but those relationships didn't last long after that, but with his S/O? It felt so... Wrong.

It didn't feel right that he found the perfect fit, and to be yanked away... It devistated him.

He never loved someone this fully before? He didn't even realize till now how much he fought to keep them by his side.

As their life got shorter he did everything he could to love and cherish them. Refusing to let them pass anywhere but where they called home. Even if it wasn't with him.

In that moment they passed he felt numb, but that same feeling came back from years ago.

It still felt wrong.

Dreams plagued him, thousands of scenerios for years. Meeting them again, and reliving their life over, and over again.

At first it hurt, but then it was like they were still there... Maybe they were?

One day turned into years, even after learning of his S/O passing. The dreams never stopped, and neither did he. He tried shaking it off by going out to town, and wandered into a cafe. The chilling sensation he felt when he recognized the cafe, but didn't remember why. His body became panicked as the owner told him they just opened last week. Frantically he looked around, the scene unfolding before him, just like in his dreams. Then he slowly remembered the window seat. To his shock, sitting right there was the same person in his dreams. The one he called by his S/O's name. The one that, even in waking life, made his heart race and cheeks flare. He had to kiss them...

He walked over, and asked them if he could sit with them. Their face seemed to be in udder shock. Their mouth was left wordless and wide open. Their eyes wanting to run, but their body lurching forward, capturing his lips in a kiss. A kiss that felt like... Forever.

Pulling back they looked at each other, eyes the only familiar memory from a past life together. It turns out this stranger had dreams about him too.

Japan:

His knees buckled beneath him by his S/O's side. Trying to console them.

Regret filled him, thinking about how he should have known better to keep such a secret for such a long time. Least the worst being letting his S/O stay.

He didn't want to let them go. He wanted them to stay. Even when they first uttered "Hello" to each other, their absence made him feel, strange?

But he knows this story. If they chose to leave, they can leave. If they chose to stay, they will not suffer alone. And if they did nothing but fade in and out, he'd wait for them with open arms, and a warm bed.

But still. The sensation of isolation after they're long gone never left.

The dreams he would have of them made him harsh, and cold. He would never change.

This would be the first time he became insecure over his existence. Being a country was hard, and he had past lovers but this one. It was the final one. So he thought.

The dreams had one day just, stopped. It made his mood worse, and he had snapped at anyone who tried talking to him. Even he knew the only reason he stayed sane was seeing his S/O face behind closed eyes. So he ran to a hidden opening in a nearby forest. The same one he vowed his love for his S/O. He had hoped it would reignite the dreams, and maybe give him some peace. He was beating himself up for not thinking about it earlier.

But his heart shattered at the sight. Where the tree that protected that undying love was replaced with a small home. He had lost his S/O, and now it felt like he lost his S/O's remaining love as well.

He had turned away only to look back at the sound of his name being called. An almost electric shock going through his body. The person who called out to him had felt so familiar. It made him feel warm, and... Happy? But he chose to shove that feeling down, refusing to fall for humanities vices. Yet he still marched over to this stranger, but the closer he got the more hazy he felt. His world spun as he met eyes with them, and his mind filled the blanks, and he embraced them, tears falling. He was unsure if it was the summer heat, or the shock of his last resort being abolished. The only thing that lead to him knowing this was his Darling, was the choked up words he hadn't heard in a century, or three. "It's okay. You don't have to say it right now, I can wait forever for you..."

Italy:

He never felt so alone in his life.

He knew it was the end of the relationship, and he knew better than to stop them. Though he tried.

Eventually the bonds broke, and things got worse between them the longer his S/O bounced between loving him, and wanting to live a normal, human life.

Them leaving felt no different from their passing.

Many years went by, and it flew, but dragged at the same time. Woman after woman, and man after man he tried to rekindle that same passion he had with S/O. But to no avail.

It burned and tormented him. The only one who allowed him to take out his aggression was Germany. Yet even he couldn't give what had been taken...

Italy never remembered his dreams of his S/O. All he knew was the muscle memory of his happiness when they were around, and the tears that fell from the reminder and afterglow of those dreams.

Another person who caught his eye. How many has it been since his S/O passed? Enough that even France had been out to shame, apperantly. Italy just needed the pain to be numbed over, just one more time. It was his addiction, it was his only respite. He should have been wiser. And he wished he knew how Grandpa Rome managed his affairs, Because Feli certainly couldn't do the same.

His hand lingered over the stranger's shoulder, ready to tap, but their scent caught him off guard. His heart gave a painful flutter, and he had to turn and walk away. Hiding away in an alley, he let his eyes water over. The tears poured down like rain as the years of trying to fill a never ending void finally caught up to him. The shame and guilt coming in waves. He didn't want to replace them, he only wanted to be with them. The scent he escaped had found him, and he had looked up to see kind and gentle eyes of a stranger. Italy felt oddly at peace. Like all those years of sleeping around was forgiven due to this stranger.

They had followed him, but why? When he asked his body froze, heart racing. They saw him in almost every dream they had, even when they were little. Some of their friends and family thinking they'd gone insane, and it was passed off as a rare occurrence by professionals. Yet there he stood. A dream made reality. Italy couldn't comprehend what they meant, and knew this should have been a red flag, but between the scent and their glassy eyes, he felt compelled to hold them, and kiss them. So he did, and they didn't even pull away. Not until streams of tears fell, leaving them both with sorrowful smiles, and fond memories stitched back in place.

For those who are confused, I Headcannon that when a country finds their one and only true love (cliche I know) they never have to lose them. Either through reincarnation or some form of magic their S/O will find their way into the countries arms time and time again. Both having vivid dreams about each other. The countries getting glimpse of their S/O in their new form, and their S/O reliving past lives through theirs. Only when they cross paths again, and physically come in contact, the S/O will slowly piece back their life with the country. Though they say nothing lasts forever, it depends on how many lives they decide forever truly is.

hi bb 🖤🖤 congrats on your milestone i love you soooo much heheh <33 may i ask for a scrapbook pls it seems so cute!!

who are you dating? gonna go w ushijima for this one

who do you kin? akaashi + sugawara

favorite time of day? hmm early afternoon?? like after lunch but before i feel like i need to nap LOL. or late nights when the stars are out (okay i sound so indecisive but also sunrise/sunset help)

five emojis that describe your aesthetic? 🖤🌾😙🌸☁️

your top three musical artists rn? one direction always but rn avril lavigne, ben rector, the regrettes

what kind of dates do you like? ice cream dates, gardens/museums/aquariums, picnics, hiking/rock-climbing even tho i get tired ajdjjd

fave fanfic trope(s)? strangers to lovers when one person needs help (idk like grabbing something on the top shelf of a grocery to 'yikes pls let me hide behind you i dont wanna talk to someone' HAHA) basically cute cheesy meet cutes get me - umm also there was only one bed and royal aus lol

if you could be an animal what would you be? a fluffy cat!! OR A WOMBAT OMG CUTE

hobbies? mm reading, writing, drawing, puzzles, karaoke but fun karaoke where you dont need to sound good, and makeup heheh

hiiiiii amaya!! Thank you so so much for your kind words 🥺 you were one of my first moots and it makes me so happy that you're still around heh. You're so so sweet and kind and I hope you like this <3

The Scrapbook of Amaya and Ushijima

what Ushijima likes to do for you:

enjoys taking your picture during golden hour/ the sunset. He loves the way the sky looks behind you. The soft blend of colours makes your smile look even prettier.

He was always taught to be respectful and cherish his partner, so he will get you something small every time he picks you up for a date. Recently, he's learned the meaning of different flowers listening to you, so he likes to pick out small bouquets for you.

Ushijima is always the last one in bed. He likes to make sure you're comfy before turning off the lights and cuddling up next to you.

Almost unconsciously, Ushijima will walk ahead of you when you're in a new place. He just likes to make sure you're safe, and if you're anxious, you can stay behind him to ground yourself.

He gets you one of those touch bracelets where he will send you a tiny shock and let you know he's thinking of you, even when he's standing in line with you. Sometimes he doesn't want to talk, so using these bracelets helps to show you he cares even when he can't say it verbally.

Songs that remind them of you

This is on his playlist because you listen to Avril. I think Ushijima definitely takes on your music taste but he listens to this song when he's away for training or games. He listens to it and thinks about you singing the lyrics to him because long distance can be hard, but with you, it's always worth it.

I think Ushijima plays this while in the car with you one day. You both woke up one day to take in the sunrise, and y'all drove to an open field to truly experience it. On your way home, he smiles when he sees you falling asleep in your seat so he plays this quietly in the back. Reminding you that regardless of his success, you're his most prized possession.

you know I had to heh but listen he would love this song. maybe Ushijima doesn't use hyperboles in his everyday conversations but he's certain that if you were ever in an unfortunate situation, he would do everything he can to save you. he knows that life can be scary, and things don't always go to plan, but he'll always be there for you.

relationship visuals

Tiktoks: 1, 2, 3

thats your picnic date btw

I finished Return of The Thief!!!

Non-spoilery comments:

1. IT WAS SO GOOD! ARGHASLDFJ 2. If you’re anxious, don’t be. Trust MWT.

Now, for all the wild screaming into the void, because I need to get all these irrational, overwhelming feelings out before I hop on over at Sounis LJ and pretend to be smart.

SPOILERS! SPOILERS AHEAD. DO NOT READ IF YOU DO NOT WANT SPOILERS!

My “live-blog” notes:

- "So, so, so" is out. "Miras' golden balls" is in. - He has all the fighting spirit of an apricot... Like riding a slowly moving sofa - LOL, though I do admit, I find it ironic that Irene would give Gen a horse as a gift, when she's worried of a fall and her own brother died of a fall from horseback - Gen's apartments were Irene's brothers' - two Cleons! two Ions! - why is Attolian!Ion doing back with Gen? Didn't he go with Sophos? - princess Bythesea? LIke, "by the sea"? - SCARY GEN. SCARY GEN EVERYWHERE. SOPHOS! THE PENT! - okay let's back it up here - Sophos throwing water on Gen - GEN CLIMBING UP TO THE WINDOW!!! - ATTOLIA LAUGHING ABOUT IT ZOMG - A;LDFJA;SLDFJAS;LDJK THE PENT AND ATTOLIA AND EUGENIDES AND ALSDFJA;SLDFJKA;LSDFKJ ARRGGGHHHH THAT WAS PRECIOUS BUT ALSO MADDENING - like, here i was, thinking it's Gen who's in danger of getting snatched by a mistress; i was NOT expecting it the other way around - also, every passage i'm either "omg, gen's gonna die" or "nah, he'll be fine." it's so scary whenever pheris talks about the "nowadays" rather than telling the narrative - OMG AND THEN... AND THEN!!! RIGHT AFTER THE PENT SCENE... OMGGGGG THEY JUST DID IT IN THAT ROOM HUH - what is up with all these horrid ambassadors from everywhere?? (Except for the Braels. That one is a keeper)

- Ohh look Irene is doing needlework! Finally! A book where needlework isn't mocked. - Gen doing a somersault from Fryst! - Costissssss!!!!! - oh no! I forgot what Costis's arrival meant - aww, that kindly stable master. bless him! - Genny!!??? GENNY??!!!! I shall now call all my children with a Y at the end. Ireny! Heleny! Bunny can remain the same (though Sophy sounds cute too) - Kamet! - Yessss, Relius! Is back in action!! Also described as "very handsome" so it looks like Costis has competition here - tortured by the *king*?? Wasn't it Attolia who tortured Relius? - lol apparently nobody's ages are going to be revealed - "some unknown sailor fired without orders" something tells me this was planted - Teleus and Relius bro-time. yes i approve - whoa I see an elephant in the drawing!! - okay, was it ever mentioned that Eddisians have tattoos?? Or is this like the first time that was mentioned and everyone is as shocked as me??? - guys, imagine, the MoW. Tattoos!! - okay, so clearly Relius is a playboy?? and i never caught the hint?? - Helen and Irene girl talk, yessss - Fordad's nice. I hope he's not secretly a bad guy - OH NO OH NO Gen resigned!!! What will Irene do? She cannot rule alone again! - omg Gen is such a rebel. I feel for this poor boy. Let me hug him. Let his queen hug him. Somebody hug him! - OMG OMG OMG they're gonna go to Gen's bedroom in Eddis' library, right??? That tumblr post was right! - wooot oh man, Susa turned! whoaaaaa. Gen is so powerful. I am at AWE - asdfasdf neck kisses, hold me, i'm dying - w-w-wait.... so is Susa and Erondites still plotting together though?? Susa, you little snake, I had believed you! - no, Costis is leaving already??

- Costis and the whole comment about "his heart" isn't in his work XD. Though -- guys -- I'm gonna confess, ten years of manning my tiny crack-boat of Costistogiton, I'm a little heartbroken to know they've no hope - Teleus and Relius... Teleus and Relius???? THIS IS CANON GUYS??? But Relius is a playboy??? How does Teleus handle that??? ship name? telrel? leuslius? - Lol, the magus being sassy to his king - ohhhh all these glorious tidbits we're learning about the Eddisian royalty. Helen's mother had an affair with Gen's father? I would not have expected it of the MoW!!! He seemed too straitlaced and in love with his Thief wife - oh. no. eugenides robbed eugenides. i would have NEVER - STENIDESSSSS!!!! - Gen channeling some Edward Elric energy there about his height, huh? Never thought he was bothered by it - what happened to Gen's stomach illness? Is it now gone because the sand in his food is gone? - "Hilarion knew a disaster when he saw one looming right in front of him." OMGGG this is throwback to that Philo comment in KoA - poor Legarus, now the shining example of a man who did poorly in love - OH MY GOD! Teleus was the one who copied the poem for Relius??? - OH. MY. GOD. Irene is pregnant again. - asdlfjalsdkfj "I didn't become inappropriate on my own!" al;sdjfk these babies. - NO. NOOOO GEN DON'T GO AFTER NAHUSERESH!! - NOOOOO STENIDES NOOOOO We never even met you! (except for that one short story) - Hilarion noooooo - oh nooo Gen being tortured AGAIN noooo how much more can this poor boy handle?

- yess Gen the Thief again!! - Eugenides Eugenideides??? - Philoo nooooo! To think he might still be alive if he *had* fought in the battle instead of accompanying Gen to the trap. I am sore about this, ok? SORE - At least my boy Aris is still alive - nooo Fordad, how could you. I rooted for you - Irene crying. My baby - At least Petrus and Galen have finally teamed up - RELIUS NOOOOOOOO. I HATE FORDAD SO MUCH. SO MUCH - no no no I refuse to believe it. Relius is ALIVE hiding REALLY WELL. Shame on him for breaking poor Teleus's and Pheris's hearts - omg Sejanus. All the Pherises. Their poor dear mother, having to be married to the nasty old Erondites - you go, random horseman who took Pheris on your lap!! *I* say you survived the battle; you and Pheris just never crossed paths again - Noo MoW... =( - oh noo, Sejanus. =( All these people I'm mourning when I had hated them before. Though to be fair, Sejanus was really sympathetic at the end of KoA already - HEEECTTTOOORRR????? - LOL omgggg, Baron Anacritus dancing with his lover right after his wife??? the Nerve! - YESSSS,  WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT RELIUS?? Yeeaaaaaah!! Now he can go back to Teleus and Pheris, and dote on the prince and princess! - wait, where my boy ARIS at??? Please tell me he and Costis are still 2 peas in a pod!!! - ohhohhooh awwww that lovely short story!!! Irene was descended from a goddess too? Aww. And I suspected Alyta is also the water goddess from QoA. - I can't believe it. It's DONE. It was SO GOOD. I would be cherishing this last book for decades, y'all. It was SO GOOD.

hey guys! happy valentine's day 💟💟💟!! it's probably my favourite time of year; no family drama, no spending loads of money on people you probably don't like, just spending time with the person you love and cherish and making them feel loved. very wholesome, i love it a lot. so id really like to,, maybe ask gemini to be my valentine today, but im kinda scared and eh about it. i might send him a few love memes- but character limit so hope valentine's is fun for y'all!! have a good day :D - 🌌

thank you so much!!!!! ur wonderful♡

and yesssss it is such a wholesome time of the year, it was so beautiful seeing so many people come into my work for valentine’s gifts♡ i was Soft jfngjfd

hey go for it! ask him! and omg memes are literally perfect yES DO THAT bc it’s also probably not going to be as scary if it’s kinda light-hearted like that u know, and i hope valentine’s is fun for u too!!! 

(Takes the mic**🎤)

Shout out to @thatgaywerewolf and Yo-peeps in the back–it's me y'all–this one goes for the preety girl in the front cheers for my beloved💕

(okay so I've also tried a hand at rapping the rap is written without a break and for the rhyme I used this proton term coz I didn't recall any word so I hope you get it)

_____

I see you're getting your tough on

And it's turning me on

Trust me I'm not a moron

But you're an icon

Who called me a proton

but baby how will I tell you I'm not positive if anything I'm far from it will you believe me if I said I'm a python with my guards on and I don't wanna hurt you baby coz you're my sweetcorn and If you let me I'll be your unicorn in the size of a Pokemon.

Is this a rom-com?

I'm sorry but that's how I see it

like a cheery on the tart

Just like a piece of the heart

With the dart on the spot💘

Which I won't pick apart

Nor would I discard

I'll keep it close to my heart even if I die-hard

I'll cherish it like an old teapot until I fall apart

Doesn't that sounds like a great movie plot?

I'll make you a card in the shape of a heart coz you're my jackpot,

And I'll give you my heart like the abstract piece of an art

We can paint it from the start or we could do it in the park

We don't have to be on the clock

And I'll protect you from the mob and mock them till they rot

We'll stay there till gets dark

Until the spark from the star

I'll play you the harp from the shard of the glass just like the angel in the dark

Or will it be Mr. Stark?

______

🤣🤣

I don't know that's all the words that rhymes idk why i put mr.stark it was the only word rhyming and I'm laughing again why would you let me begin it happens just like a chain and I hope it rains you know Dean has a mark of cain if I keep going I'm gonna faint coz I don't have a brain

(mic drop 🎤)

Thank you people. Oh! please don't chant my name like that. I don't take any questions but since you guys wanna know Due to pandemic I won't be doing anymore tours for my new album but who knows maybe in future I'll do it. Keep screaming people 😂😂 (I'll come over the edge of the stage and I'll bend down to kiss you and then I'll tell you to meet me backstage with a wink and crowd will notice it and go crazy)

_____

Oh! I saw that babe isn't it lovely. We're so cute that someone for like real person finds us cute😍

And idk no one has said it before irl life I just worry a lot about the bad things that may happen you know when I have faith that things will go good that time something exactly opposite happens so idk I always weight the bad side more so I'm prepared for it mentally and when it happens I can yell, "I knew it!" (I can imagine that God of eary season Sam hugging that person saying 'too precious for this world' I'm gonna cry now 😭😭)

Oh! God! You are so easy to be with. I can take care you come here I wanna wrap you up in a blanket and keep you safe in arms💕 (Does that mean you're adopting me? Will you come to all my recitals and visit me in college? Don't throw out my emo music when I'm away coz it's not a phase mom it's who I am😅😅)

I'll look forward to our movie nights and I wanna jump around the house like crazy and dance with you all night long (And I just love this song)

🎶And when I felt like I was an old cardigan under someone's bed you put me on and said I was your favorite🎶

omg we’re doing this again lessgooo🎤

ayyye yaaas shoutout to our only fan ahah. oh you stahp☺️🤚🏼

RAP??? OH ANON WE REALLY IN IT NOW-

———

JAIZISKJSJZ IM-

THOSE FIRST FOUR LINES ARE ICONIC IM SCREAMING. UNICORN IN THE SIZE OF A POKEMONNNN😭 IT IS A ROMCOM BABY IT IS ANYTHING YOU WANT IT TO BE AS LONG AS I GET SICK RHYMES LIKE THESE SJDJZJ!! I’LL CHERISH IT LIKE AN OLD TEAPOT UNTIL I FALL APARTSDBHXJSJXNDJSN!!!!!!!!!! oh we doing it in the park?;) THAT ENDING I- WHAT DOES MR STARK HAVE TO DO WITH THIS IDK BUT IT JUST MADE IT 10X BETTER!!!

OK I AM SORRY FOR THIS ALL-CAPS FREAKOUT BUT THIS IS FREAKIN AMAZINGGGGGGGGH!!!! I LOVED IT!

———

you are literally unstoppable!!😆😆😂😂😂 idk about you, but with all these dope rhymes, you seem like you’ve been granted a special brain!😂

(raaaaaging applause👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼)

buuuut don’t worry people! she will be doing virtual concerts live from our mansion and it’s pay-what-you-can!! (babyyy stooop😄 not in front of all these people- *blushes insaaanely* ok go i’ll meet you in the back🙈😚)

———

yesssss I agree🥺🥰🥰 I mean what can I say? we are cute😏💞

oh that must suck. I don’t think it’s negative tho. you’re just being realistic, I think it’s alright. this way you don’t get your hopes way too high and get let down hard. I should learn from you ahah. but your overall vibes are so cute and wholesome and fun, yk? I enjoy hanging out with you, and by that I mean our little asks<3 (that’s what I was intending!)

aah I can say the exact same about youu! aww✨💞 *shuffles closer into your warm embrace* (if that’s what you want, i’ll be more than glad to😉 of course I won’t, i’ll be blasting them through every speaker!!! what? I’m the cool mom!😎)

saaame🥺🥺🥺💖💖💖✨✨✨ can it just come already? (hehe I knew you do;))

🎶and time can do so much, are you still mine? I need your love, I need your love. god speed your love to me🎶💕

Star Struck Fool

Shance AU

Part 4

“I'm… cold?” Jay chuckled and shaking his head while continuing to walk down the steps. It took them awhile but they finally got to the floor where all the cadets dorms are, which is the fourth through sixth floor but Lances dorm is on the fifth. Jay walked him all the way to his dorm but once they got there, there was a surprise. Well mainly for Lance because, when the fuck does Shiro go to other cadets dorms when it's not Keith's? Before Lance had arrived, with his wonderful companion, Shiro was worried out of his mind. He paced in front Lances door. Beforehand he'd knocked about five times before realizing Lance wasn't there. Which worried him even more. He needed to talk to Lance he didn't mean to say those thing he said but he was just so frustrated that day. Keith had been distant and cold with Shiro that day and it made him incredibly angry, but still, it was no excuse. Lance didn't deserve what had been said to him. What Shiro said to him. Lance is amazing. He may not know it yet but gods is he extraordinary. Besides Hunk, Shiro is the only one who knows how hard Lance works. He knows that Lance practices with the flight simulator after school hours and how he has straight A’s. How he's so reliable and strong, making him the person that his friends come to for advice and comfort. Now, Shiro starts to wonder. Does Lance have the support he need? Is he happy? Does he have his own personal lance to seek comfort and advice from? Shiro doesn't know but the answer to all his questions is, No. He doesn't. Yeah Lance parades himself as someone who has great confidence but there are nights that Lance would lay awake, but not fully awake, on his bed staring at his ceiling, tears streaming down the side of his face and onto the pillow. These night were the worst for Lance. He felt like he couldn't move or breathe, like he was watching himself crumble in front of his own eyes. These nights are the worst. Shiro stopped pacing once he heard people coming down the hallway. He recognized one voice, it was Lance. But he wasn't alone. “Ah, lieutenant Shirogane! Fancy seeing you here… why exactly are you here?” Jay greeted then asked. Confused because let's face it, it's unusual to see lieutenants at the cadets dormitories. “I… um … I need to talk to my cadet.” Jay looked down at Lance eyebrows arched in surprise. “Wow! You're Lieutenant Shirogane's cadet? Impressive! Only the best get to be mentored by him.” Jay messed up Lances hair in a brotherly fashion. But then he hooked his arm around Lance almost as if he knew that something was going on between them and the reason Lance had been crying on the roof. “Well I best be going now. See ya Lance!” Jay walked off but looked back over his shoulder to see how deflated Lance looked in front of Shiro. He wondered. Lance and Shiro stood there for a while, not talking nor making eye contact with one another. But finally Lance spoke. “I need to do some homework so I should go ins-” Lance was stopped mid sentence as he was reaching for the scanner, by Shiro's hand. He froze. Shiro never touched him. Not even when they trained together and Lance got knocked down. All Shiro would do is ignore him or talk at him about how should do better or try to copy Keith. He never touched Lance. “Lance I need to talk to you… please?” Shiro pleaded. Once again lance was avoiding his gaze. Lance knew that if he looked into his eyes he'd forgive Shiro, Lance doesn't want to forgive him but, at the same time he wants to talk to Shiro again. “Lance?” Shiro asked again hoping he'd get an answer. Lance pulled his arm from Shiro's strong yet gentle grip.

“Can I just go in my room?” Lance asked not wanting to have this conversation right now. He wasn't prepared for it, he doesn't think he'd ever be ready. “I would like to talk to you… I really need to.” The thought of Lance not ever speaking to him again scared him. It's only been a day since that day happened and it feels like it's been weeks. Shiro wants to explain to him that he's his best cadet despite what everyone thinks and Lance himself. Shiro does admit it, he is attached to Keith but compared to Keith Lance was someone he found comfort in. Like he could be himself. Lance accepts him for who he is without blinking and eye. With Keith, he's a little more timid and hesitant to speak to him. It's more Keith than Shiro who's timid and hesitant mainly because he's an orphan who lives alone and has trust issues. So Shiro tries to make him feel the same way Lance makes him feel. “Will you please talk to me?” Shiro pleads once more. His voice crack a little which makes Lance look up in shock. The one thing Lance hates to see is people that he cares deeply about, cry. He turns into a momma bear and tries to make them happy again. Shiro isn't crying, he's on the verge but he's not crying. Lance thanks the gods because he knows damn well if Shiro cried Lance would forgive him in a heartbeat. “I didn't expect you to be here. It surprised me…” Lance started, in a small voice. “But what surprised me the most...was how you made me feel.” Lance felt a lump in his throat. He felt like he was choking. Usually Lance is the type of person to say what's on his mind but right now, he can't. He knows he should because this could harm his education but gods his self-esteem has never been so low. “You're someone I admire, cherish, and wish nothing but happiness for you. And for you to tell me that you feel the exact opposite… I-” Lance stopped mid sentence, holding back tears, lips trembling. It took a second to catch his breath so he could continue talking.

“I want to talk and get back to normal, but right now I'm still picking up the pieces of me you broke so I can't. Physically, I can't.” “Lance please allow me to apologize. I know what I said to you was wrong-” “Wrong?” He scoffed. “It wasn't just wrong Shiro. You made me feel like I'm worthless. Like I'm not good enough for this school or as you said it ‘frankly I'm not good enough for you’. Do you know what that did to me?!” Lance yelled panting as his anger was starting to kindle. “Fuck, Lance. I'm so sorry! I didn't-” “Sorry doesn't fix things Shiro! You hurt me, twice, and I honestly don't know if I can forgive you. I can't find the courage to forgive. I don't… “ Lance choked on a sob. Shiro saw his lips tremble and it absolutely broke Shiros heart. But what confused Shiro was when Lance said that he hurt him twice. Shiro tried to think back on it, to see if he really did do something he didn't remember, but he couldn't. But as he look back on his memories he saw how oblivious and cold hearted he was towards Lance. He always thought Lance was just playing around and not taking things seriously, but now, Lance was just trying to make Shiro happy. That's all Lance wants. Is for Shiro to be happy. Gods Shiro is and idiot. Shiro tried to step to Lance back he backed away from Shiro. In shock and horror Shiro shook his head. “Please Lance, please I want to be able to be with you I you to talk to me like you usually do. This whole week has been hell for me and-”

“And you think letting it out on me was the best option to go to?” Lance scoffed, interrupting Shiro. “No Lance! I promise you I didn't mean to! Please Lance, please believe me.” Lance shook his head and dread washed over Shiro. “I don't want to forgive because I don't believe you. You've never been nice to me. And in case you haven't noticed, you're only ‘nice’ to me when Keith is actually talking to you!” Shiro wanted to reject his accusation but he knew it was true. “Just… please. Give me time. I need some time to focus on myself instead of others.” And with that Lance scanned his palm and rushed into his room. Leaving Shiro in complete shock. “Fuck!” Shiro screamed as he pulled at his hair, regretting every horrible and inconsiderate thing he did to Lance. Tears started to form at the rim of his eyes as he reminisced about Lance and how bubbly and thoughtful he was to Shiro. And how he was the exact opposite. He's been focused on how Keith feels about him so much he never noticed that Lance was the one that made him the happiest.

-----

Sooooo... yeh

Kinda emotional. Kind hard for me to write bc I personally had something like this happen to me.

But on the bright side y'all get a story out of it :D

Please tell me what y'all think I'm open to ideas and all

But omg my poor bby Lance idk why I love Langst and shangst when it breaks my heart ;-;

Maybe I'm a masochist lol

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

im gonna get a lil bit cheesy/emo and stuff but i wanted to take this time to s/o a few people im really grateful to have met and have in my life 💖 ~

@shes-dreaming-of-lost-stars where do i start with you? I’m really grateful that you’re my friend like you’ve listened to my pointless rants about life, resisted from jumping off the bus from my lame ass jokes, and lifted me up in really bad moments where I was in pain, like who knew small things like a flashlight and bubbles could make such a difference? you’re so caring in your own way although im at the baek level of annoying sometimes but you’ve just stuck with me and i really hope you know you are a really amazing person and i cherish you very much 💕💫 i really hope you get to see your panini head one day Jaz you honestly deserve it for everything you’ve endured

@tiniekihyunie you were honestly my first online friend and i was legit so flipping happy cuz i had never connected with someone as quick as with you 💕 i enjoy our chats on mx and bts and plans to travel the world someday (also go to that one cafe) lol i hope you’re doing well and I’m always rooting for you like I’ve always told you, also we gotta get our plan for that basketball game with yoongi going 👀👀 ily vv much tammy 💞

@loeychateau the joohoney to my changkyun :“)) im so grateful for our friendship you are honestly an angel like do i deserve such a friend like you?? you’re such a beautiful soul, cutest chanbaek stan i know, and so uplifting like ?? you always have something kind to say and although you may be going through difficult times yourself,you don’t let it bring you down and are so optimistic and joyful at heart like that’s so admiring !! I hope you know i cherish you a lot, never change lauren 💞💞 and remember I’m always here for you so we can share a rain cloud once in a while so the weight won’t be so heavy

@gentlejongin you’re such a kind soul 💕 i enjoy our talks and im very flattered you even talked to me in the first place like i might come off as a bit of a socially awkward potato but as time went on i felt like we had a lot in common with one another and I’m always very happy to listen to whatever you want to share with me. Keep being beautiful Steph ily ♡♡

@amazzjin someone who doesn’t think puns are lame and enjoys them as much as i do, heck you’re even better at them than I am and i find that amazing just 11/10 humour 💕 you’re such a lovely kind person Mazz, even tho we don’t talk as much I’m always wishing you the best i never forget about you ly girl ♡

@jhopejumper agsgdhjd girl you wild you have one of the best personalities you’re so outgoing, i love your memes and your way of expressing things is so relatable ?? Idk if that’s weird but i find it incredible how you make comparisons and just your way of speaking it leaves me like “omg same” always hyping me up like keep on being yourself you’re amazing nyssa 💗💗

Lastly but not least @suga-trash0903 omg I already feel like I’ve known you forever. You feel like a long lost friend honestly like wow you’re so sweet and the realest person i know of lol you’re insanely talented like oml I’m your biggest fan like hey Jae’s #1 supporter?? That’s me hngg you have such a bright future ahead of you and i hope you realize that 💕 if you ever need someone to lean on I’ll always be here for you ♡

ALSO TO ALL OF YOU: with all honesty i couldn’t imagine having better people in my life, you might think they’re just random chats but for this socially awkward loser right here, it’s very much appreciated A LOT like y'all most likely make my days a little brighter or bring me smiles and you wouldn’t even know how much it means to me :“)) love you all lots ~

Love me like you do (Part 19)-Balem series

A/N: Here we goooo! Part 19! Can you guys believe it’ll be part 20 next update?! Omg…this was supposed to be a 5-10 part series 😂 Well, whatever…I enjoy prolonging the feels. Hope y'all do too. Please enjoy! I know next to nothing of space, and since it’s just a fanfic and not a scientific paper, spare me the lecture on Jupiter’s weather lol

MOOD MUSIC: Lust for life by Lana Del Rey

***

Trying to find an empty place to keep to yourself proved harder than you originally planned. The servant quarters were quiet enough, minus the many people coming in and out throughout the day. And even with the door closed you could clearly hear the gossip going on in the halls. You even lost count on the number of times your name flew passed their loose lips. It was bothersome to listen to, but you always tried your best to remain the bigger person. In this instance, that meant getting up and wondering the endless halls of Balem’s palace just to get away from them all.

You found yourself lost rather instantly, this place quickly becoming a maze for you. None of it made sense, and even trying to find something familiar was hard. It dawned on you how little you knew of this planet and all its surrounding cities. Balem was usually by your side you didn’t feel the need to explore or learn any of it. You supposed, in the back of your mind you saw all of this as temporary. Little chance of that now.

“Gardens?” You chewed on the inside of your cheek, looking at the golden plaque sign that adorned the black marbled wall. There was two large glass doors that led outside, and from your current position you could only see trees and grass. You guessed it was Balem’s idea of a garden, which likely meant it would’ve been the equivalent of a park on earth. He truly didn’t spare no expense in his life. But, with no one around it seemed the best choice for you. With slight reluctance, you looked around before sneaking through the door and making your way outside.

The breeze was instantly refreshing for you, a nice chill to the air you hadn’t really expected. But, the view was something that left you breathless. From the inside, it looked like a forest, perhaps even a meadow. However, up close it looked like something straight out of a fairy tale. The grass expanded around his palace, at least as far as you could make out. But, the flowers and ponds decorated this area so beautifully it was breathtaking. It could easily rival Kalique’s home, with the gorgeous waterfalls and red plants. Unlike hers though, this one somehow felt more serene to you. As if it was a little piece of home to be cherished. And for once in your time here, it felt like true peace.

You walked deeper into the path, holding your hand out as the bushes brushed along your fingertips. They were lovely shades of greens, oranges and colors you couldn’t even begin to describe. And each flower that bloomed along their tops was stunning. None of them looked familiar, save for the few that resembled roses. But, you had never seen anything like this before and it was already becoming your favorite part of this planet.

With a contented sigh, you eased between two shrubs, coming upon a large pond and fountain. You took a seat atop the rock on the edge, leaning back as you closed your eyes and enjoyed the breeze. You removed your boots, dipping your feet into the cold water. It was like heaven for you, just the sounds of the local fauna and trees swaying in the wind. It was the first time you had truly felt relaxed since being here. Unfortunately, not all things get to last. Especially amongst Balem’s numerous workers and advisors. No matter where you went, you figured they’d always find you. As was the case with Mr. Night.

“Go away.” It was nearly pleading, your body growing slack as you felt his gaze upon your back. You didn’t even need to turn to see his judgmental expression, because you already guessed that your new attire would throw him for a loop. Just imagining Balem’s expression was humorous enough.

“I was sent to retrieve you for lord Balem. So, if you wouldn’t mind.”

Mr. Night held one arm out, gesturing back towards the entrance in a means for you to follow him. But, right now you had no interest in seeing him or Balem. You were still feeling rather lost about the entire thing, and at this time you didn’t think your heart could take anymore hardships for the day. Unfortunately, Balem was not an understanding man, and you knew Mr. Night would do whatever it takes to keep his master in good spirits. Even if it meant dragging you away by force.

“I very much mind.” You shot him a less than gracious look, trying to convey how annoyed you were with him and his lord. Not everything in life had to revolve around them, but you doubted they’d ever see it that way. “What does he want anyway? Last time I saw him he was screaming for me to leave.”

None of this was his advisor’s business, but it felt good to vent it out to someone. Even if that someone was a splice who likely detested you for whatever reason. Perhaps that’s why you trusted him though. Mr. Night didn’t play games with Balem’s moods, so your negativity wasn’t likely to fall upon the entitled’s ears anytime soon.

“I believe he wishes to have dinner with you.”

The splice craned his neck towards you, trying to gain your full attention so that he could complete his simple task. But, you weren’t having it today. If that’s truly what Balem wanted, he could wait forever on you. It was maddening how he believed himself so powerful that one fancy meal would make all this go away.

“Dinner?” You scoffed in disbelief, giving a cynical smile as you turned back to the wonderful view before you. “I have no interest in joining him.”

“This wasn’t a request.”

“Nothing ever is with him. Now go away!”

Every second that ticked by made you more frustrated, and as much as you disliked Mr. Night you didn’t intend to be rude to the splice. He was only doing his job, the downside was that his job was simply helping Balem.

“I see the standard Abrasax temper has rubbed off on you.” He said with contempt, moving his hands behind his back.

You couldn’t blame him for that comment, your anger was misplaced. But, would it kill Balem and all the others to leave you be for even an hour. Apparently, that was far too much to wish for here. The power of these people, they seriously earned the description of entitled.

“All this time…” You scoffed, shaking your head as you began to think back on all your decisions here. Life had certainly not turned out like you planned or even expected. If someone long ago told you you’d end up mistress to the ruler of Jupiter and earth, well, that wouldn’t have gone over so well. But, here you sat, amongst the lovely gardens of Balem’s alcazar as if it was a normal habit of yours. Somewhere along the lines of being abducted you grew to just accept all this. It wasn’t easy, that much was sure, but you felt like maybe it was just the easier thing to do. Accept it, and learn to like it. Because, the more you marinated on the questions the more it grew to make you nervous. Besides, you always believed the world was much bigger than people thought. You just didn’t think it’d turn out quite like this. “All this time we believe the world is ruled by men and women in charge of countries. And here stands one man ruling our entire planet.”

Mr. Night kept quiet at first, hands clasped behind his back, and beady eyes set upon you. He was only mildly interested in your words, the better and smarter half of him thinking delicately on time. Because, Balem was definitely not going to be pleased if he took far too long to retrieve you. “You are just now coming to terms with this?”

His question did catch you off guard, for he hardly cared to converse with you. Much less even greet you half the time. It was only a matter of time though, he couldn’t possibly ignore you forever. Especially standing right behind you.

“No…no, of course not. It’s just-” You had to think deeply on it, because this world…that man, they had a way of changing your perspective on things. “Before I came here, before I was brought here, I thought I had a pretty good handle on the way the world works. What’s right, what’s wrong. I convinced myself that it was black and white.” There was a small pause between your words, your eyes downcast towards the water as it glided over your ankles. The fish in the pond grew near, only to skitter away when you barely moved your foot. “Now I just don’t understand anything.”

Your voice was desperate for an answer, a hint of hope that Mr. Night could somehow fix it all for you. It was pathetic really, but you didn’t care if it was him or a complete stranger. You just wanted somebody to figure this out for you. Because, the confusion you were beginning to feel was building up to the point that thinking was becoming quite the chore.

“I should hate him.” That was the problem. You should hate him, without any doubt in your body. Since the very beginning you should’ve loathed that entitled man with every fiber of your being. Black and white. That’s what it should have been. He used people, killed them, bent everyone to his will. He was tiresome, selfish, temperamental, anything negative you could possibly think of and that pretty much summed up Balem. “But, I can’t.”

“Personal crisis aside, we should not keep Lord Balem-”

“I want to hate him…”

Mr. Night sighed heavily, growing impatient with your issues. He didn’t have time to play therapist for you. Everyone on this planet had problems, but only Balem’s were of his concern. And seeing as how you were his Lord’s current predicament, he may as well try and humor you along. If only to get you to follow him back without use of force. He gritted his teeth, rolling his eyes as he tried to sound genuine towards you. “Oh?”

You laid your chin on your knees, feeling the weight of the world upon your shoulders. Or universe, in this case. You didn’t really want to hate him, that was a bit harsh for someone like you. Dislike, sure. But, hate was entirely different. As hellbent as Balem was on causing harm to billions, you didn’t wish death upon him.

“I just-”

“Can’t. Yes, I know. You’ve already…said that.” Mr. Night sucked in a frustrated breath, trying hard to maintain his composure despite his ever growing impatience with you. “But, Lord Balem is waiting on your arrival. I am sorry for your friend, it was a terrible tragedy but she is gone-” He didn’t mean it, he could care less about the serving girl. But, if his sentiments allowed you some comfort enough to get up and go, then he’d play along. “And my lord is not. So, need I remind you once more that he is waiting on-”

“He is not…” You lifted your head, brows knitting together as you replayed Night’s words over in your head. “He’s alive.”

Your words confused the advisor, and he glanced around the garden as if there might be someone else around that could make sense of all this. Instead he found the usual sounds of waterfalls and wildlife. Not to mention your crazed sounding revelations. Maybe it was time you finally snapped, the knowledge of all this eventually getting to you. But, that wasn’t the case. Mr. Night’s words just made you realize something in yourself, something that only served to further the idea that life really wasn’t so black and white. Even with you.

Nevaeh was gone, and Balem was alive. And it was only now that you comprehended why his words made you so angry. You felt for the loss of your friend, truly you did. But, when Balem said those cruel words, it wasn’t the grief of her loss that hurt you. But, rather grief for your own musings. Nevaeh was dead, and Balem still stood before you. Unharmed, and as well as anyone could be after an attempt on their life. And that was a relief to you. You were happy that he was well, that he could still stand there before you in all his confident glory like he always did. You ached for her loss, but you were more elated by his survival and that very thought disgusted you. That’s why his words cut so deep for you, because he so casually made you realize how selfish you could be. All because of him. In that moment, his life was more important to you than a ‘serving girl’ as he so nonchalantly put it on most occasions.

You closed your eyes in defeat, heart wrenching at your emotions. “Oh god…” If his advisor wasn’t here, you were positive you would’ve sank onto the ground in a ball of self pity. Everyone sought to explain your feelings for you lately, but you didn’t need them to verify anything for you. It seems you were perfectly capable of approaching that understanding on your own. It may not be love, you thought. But, it certainly couldn’t be classified as nothing anymore.

“I can’t go…”

You dropped from the rock, pulling your boots back on and attempting to get passed the splice. Only he appeared to have expected such a reaction, and with a wave of his hand two guards grabbed your arms lifting you easily from the ground and carrying you off into the alcazar.

***

“Let me go!” You fought desperately against their tight hold, heels barely scraping the ground as the doors to Balem’s chambers slid open. It was the last place you wanted to be, but no matter the fight you put up you still ended up back here. It was just like the first time you saw him. Only this time you weren’t laying at his feet. But, the guards threw you to the ground as soon as you entered the room, making you catch yourself on your hands and knees.

“Mr. Night.” Balem was sitting at his private dinner table, playing with the bottom of his wine glass once you came in. His eyes were trained on the wine sloshing around, but it was obvious he was still aware of his surroundings. “Is that really necessary?” He took a sip of his wine, his eyes moving to the side to take in the scene.

“She refused to come, my lord.” The splice bowed upon being addressed, a concerned look on his face. He knew you were particularly special to the Primary, roughing you up was the last thing he wanted. “Forgive me, but I tried every-”

“Enough.” Balem held his hand up, no longer interested in the details of the story. All he wanted was for you to be here, and seeing as how that wish was met he cared little for the rest of the reasons. “Leave us. Now.”

The guards and advisor bowed once more, exiting the room and leaving you to kneel on the ground. You didn’t want to move, because that meant seeing him. Even speaking felt difficult, as much as you wanted to yell at him for all of this harsh treatment, you simply kept your mouth shut. Not that any of this behavior was pleasing to the Primary. You could almost feel his anger in the air.

“Get up.”

Ignoring him would only make it worse, and that was something you weren’t keen on dealing with. With as little joy as possible, you rose to your feet, smoothing out your shirt and trudging along until you stood at the table. He wasn’t in any mood to play games, and just when you stood before him he looked up at you. It was the first time in hours that you saw those green eyes of his, the very ones that made you nervous and excited. Only this time there was far more to it, a feeling that was almost indescribable for you.

“Sit.”

He used his boot to push the other chair out, eyes still fixated on your sullen form. It was hard to tell what he was thinking, but his intense gaze was enough to make you believe it wasn’t positive. Emotions aside, you fell back into the chair, avoiding his glare as much as possible. It wasn’t an easy task considering how heated his stares could be, but you tried all the same.

Balem watched you, taking in your appearance as if this was his first time seeing you. You wore clothes that didn’t quite suit your beauty, something he found rather disappointing. And as much as he wanted to address your poor choice in attire, he opted for lighter conversation. Anything to regain your attention once more.

“Where were you?”

“The gardens.” You answered curtly, trying hard to keep your sights set on the elaborate table cloth. It was proving difficult though, because how could you ignore the aura of power around such a man. Every little movement of his was beckoning you to look, but in your current state you didn’t think you could handle such a thing.

“And what did you think of them?”

His attempts at polite conversation were nerve wracking, each sentence that left his lips making you curl back into your seat even more. It’s not that you didn’t enjoy the idea of them, but every part of you just wanted to take off running right now. You shifted in your seat, twiddling your thumbs as you rested your hands on the table. It was a minor distraction from him, not that it helped at all. It only made you realize how close you two were right now. His hand was only inches away, still clutching his glass as he rolled the stem of it between his fingers.

“They were beautiful.” You choked out, nerves becoming unsettled as he reached over you and grabbed some fruit from the bowl. The entire time you held your breath, heart beating madly in your chest when the very air around him swept by you. How one man caused you such excitement was disturbing, but you couldn’t let him know that. Because, no matter how you spun your words he would immediately shun your emotions. That much, you knew.

“Look at me.”

You stiffened at his demand, anxieties kicking in when you fully comprehended his words. It was only a matter of time before he realized how reluctant you were to even meet his gaze. But, that was the last thing you wanted to do. If only he knew what was racing through your mind, then he wouldn’t be asking such a thing of you. Looking into those eyes was a dangerous game to play, and if you didn’t avoid it something told you it’d be the end of you.

“My little dove.” Balem leaned over to you, eyes looking you up and down as if he was assessing your behavior. He imagined you were still angry with him, something he figured he could remedy later. But, your lack of interest in conversation was growing tiresome for him. Whatever your issues were, he had no attraction to them. He just yearned for your company, but this wasn’t it. There was a gentleness in you that was lacking, something that irked the Primary to no end. He longed for the woman who had that fire in her eyes, and right now this wasn’t you. So, he lifted his hand, gripping your chin gently and turning you to look at him. And just as your eyes met, the doors slid open, a single servant waltzing in with dinner. A true heaven-sent for you.

It offered a momentary distraction for Balem, and he sighed as he let you go and waved the girl on over. But, you hadn’t moved. Instead you found yourself staring at him, and in that moment it was like a crushing blow to your heart. Everything you tried to avoid was now before your eyes, and nothing was going to save you from it. All you knew, was that you had to get away and quickly. Because, staying here and dealing with your conflicting feelings for him would only hurt.

“I-” The words wouldn’t come out, your resolve slowly falling to pieces the more you took him in. It was true, you admitted to yourself. True, that his well being meant something to you now and having him perfectly fine in front of you made you elated. Yet, the reasoning behind that revelation was nothing that brought you joy. Only pain led down that road, and it wasn’t something you were eager to put up with. So, with all the courage you could muster you begged him for your release. Not only from this planet, but from the potential heartache of his rejections. “I want to go back to earth. Please…”

The servant was moving closer, tray in hand as she made to lay it on the table. But, you had chosen a poor time to convey your desires to him. Your words immediately took him by surprise, his eyes narrowing into threatening slits when he made to look at you again. This time you held his gaze, faltering only when he yelled his displeasure at the servant.

“Get out.”

She looked confused, barely able to place the tray down as he ordered her away. “My lord?”

“GET OUT!!!”

His voice made you both flinch, the serving girl taking the food and practically sprinting from his chambers. You, on the other hand, stayed put in your seat, meeting his icy glare.

“Balem-”

He slammed his wine glass onto the table top, cracking the edges of it as he seethed with rage. You had never seen him this way, not to this extent and it frightened you. Where all this anger came from, you didn’t know. But, he was not going to let you go lightly.

“You are never leaving this planet for as long as I live…”

His tone was cold, even, as if every word he said was a threat. It made you shiver in fear, eyes wide with worry as he leaned over until your noses were nearly touching.

“And I assure you, little bird-” The usual mirth in your pet name was now gone, and in its place was now a voice that sounded almost disappointed and rejected. “That could be for another thousand years.”

***

A/N: I know this was kind of a filler, but as always, a necessity to move my plot along. Hope you still enjoyed. And if you would be so kind, feedback welcomed. ❤️

Im glad you're feeling better! I think this blog needs more angst tho LOLOL can i get some scenarios for tsurumaru, ichigo, hizamaru and yamanbagiri? Maybe something involving death of their saniwa or unrequited love?

Omg are you tryna kill me because my heart is ripped in fuCking pieces now. How can you even want to hurt these precious beans?!

Like nooo that’s so evil because I’m so bad with angst I can’t even read fanfics when I know beforehand that it will be angsty and without a happy end I’m a weak cry-baby and a fluff monster ok less even attempt to write one myself

I’ll try and fail miserably to create some angsty scenarios but expect me to be crying while I’m typing this out why do you do this to me 😭

Why do y'all love pain and torturing yourself ? :’)

Ichigo

it was a horrifying battle, the enemy was much stronger than he had expected

but in the end all of you scraped a thin victory

all of you survived so he thought

but when he turned around one of them had barely survived and used his last resources to ambush you

the blood drained from his face as he rushed to you, but it was too late

he could only hold you in his trembling arms and feel you going limp in his arms

no no NO this couldn’t be true

he just denies that you’re gone and just collapses over your lifeless body that still feels so warm and soft

he keeps shaking you and screams at you to wake up, to yell at him just ANYTHING BUT GOD OPEN YOUR EYES

Mikazuki and Yagen have to drag him away with united forces because he wouldn’t let go of you

guys please kill me i can’t do this to him whyyyy

‘we need to retreat’ he can hear someone say but it doesn’t reach his ears

he doesn’t attend your funeral and just curls up in his bed and cries bitter tears for weeks

of course he also blames himself

luckily he has his little brothers who try to be there for him and force him to eat and sleep but he’ll never be the same without you

can you hear my heart break?

Tsurumaru

of course you’re just so dumb and have to die a heroic death in battle

when he sees your lifeless body lying there all bloody he just loses it

he collapses next to you, crying and weeping to the heavens, begging someone to help you

but it’s far too late

even lashes out and smacks everyone who tries to touch him

no one has the heart to pull him away from you anyway

he just lies there with you in the mud, holding your corpse and sobbingly begs you to wake up

when he’s finally dry of tears Konnosuke dares to come closer and sadly nudges him with his nose

he just breaks down again and ultimately passes out on top of you, still clutching your lifeless hand

finally the others dare to carry both of you away

he barely manages to attend your funeral

doesn’t shed a tear during the ceremony but breaks down on your grave after everyone has left

WHY THE HELL DID YOU DO THIS TO HIM YOU MONSTER

throws himself into every battle in hopes to join you soon although he knows you wouldn’t approve but he just can’t go on without you

Yamanbagiri

‘‘I cherish you a lot.. but I just don’t think I can value you more than as a friend’‘

even a stab through his heart couldn’t hurt as much as this single sentence that left your lips as you shake your head apologetically

he just nods, although every word feels like a stab to his face

the worst part is that he even thinks he knows the reason why you can’t love him

he’s just a wretched duplicate after all

YOU! HEARTLESS! MONSTER! YOU!! Why don’t you love him?! 

He already knew there was no way someone like you could fall for someone like him but still..hearing it from you

it hurts

but someone like him doesn’t deserve to be loved anyway

even apologizes for bothering you monster 

tries to numb the pain by drinking it away

and for a split moment it works

but then he remembers your voice, the pity in your eyes when you told him you only liked him as a friend

another bottle it is

can’t bring himself to talk to anyone else for weeks 

Hizamaru

‘I’m sorry Hizamaru, but I don’t love you anymore’

he tries his best not to cry, but one single tear forms itself in his eyes and then he just breaks down in front of you

seeing him cry makes you break out in tears too

you never intended to hurt him but you just don’t feel anything for him anymore

you want him to be happy, you really do..just not with you

and if you wouldn’t cry then you’re a fucking monster

so both of you just kneel there, silently crying while his world is falling apart 

he begs you to stay with him, that both of you can talk about this, that he can make you fall in love with him again just PLEASE don’t leave him but seeing you weep bitter tears at having to do this he finally accepts reality

it’s over

everything feels numb but deep in his heart he knows he has to let you go

and so he does

at least Higekiri is always there for him, but even months after he still feels that familiar pain whenever he sees you

I finally had the heart scratch that it’s broken into itty bitty pieces to finish this and Jesus I hate myself so much rn for making my babies suffer congratulations you broke me 😂

Please don’t ever make me do something like this again :’(

Colors/Soulmate Renjun

Genre: -

Request: Can i get a Renjun colourblind soul mate Au ?

can i request the soulmate thing but with renjun?

So I was intrested in your soulmate stories and would like to request one for renjun Thank youuuu ^^

Hey! I would have a request for your soulmate stories! Could you write one for Renjun?

A/N: happy birthday to this angel & im happy he’s getting so much love?? haha yay i actually did this concept with Mark’s and it was really fun, hope you enjoy reading!

——

“They resemble the color of chocolate, the cocoa brown strands shining brightly, with a few streaks of caramel-like strands popping from beneath.”

You nodded your head in excitement as your eyes glued to your mother’s mouth, anticipating what she was going to describe next. The woman in front of you reached her hand out and held your small palm in hers, which was huge in size as compared to yours. You smiled innocently at her, and asked with excitement, “Mommy! Describe more! I want to know what other colors there are”

Pink, orange, blue and green. All the colors you wanted to see but couldn’t at all, not until you met your soulmate.

As a child you had always been curious, as you’d beg your mother to describe all the colors she is able to see, as you let your imagination run wild. You were told that your cheeks were of a rosy pink color-a light and calming shade that many loved. Your mother had also told you that your eyes were of a light brown shade, as your rather pale and fair skin made you look even more lovable.

Your mother looked around, then picked up the small rose lying in a vase from the table. Pointing it to you, she smiled and waved, “This is red,”

You nodded your head once again, as you mouthed out the word in fascination, “Red”

She gave a small smile, then continued,“,red is normally seen as a symbol of love and romance. That’s why daddy got me this red rose, do you understand?”

The 8 year old you stared at her in confusion as you furrowed your eyebrows together,“Romance? What is that?”

She smiled and chuckled, then pat your head, “It’s something that happens when you meet your soulmate, you’ll understand later on”

Without saying much, you simply nodded your head and smiled, “Thank you mommy!”

——

You couldn’t remember exactly when you started to see those, but recently you had been seeing lighter shades of white and colors, but they would only last for a while.

In just a split second you were faced with many different bright and outstanding shades of colors, making it seem more vibrant as compared ti the black&white vision you had been having since you were born. But weird thing was, this sudden outbursts of colors did not last long. Everything would be back to the monotone two colors that you were so familiar with in just a few seconds, and moments later you’d be face by the same highlights again.

You were confused and scared at the same time- what if something was happening to your soulmate? What was going to happen from there?

Coincidentally, all these strted after you met him.

Although y'all had never once met up before, you could tell that he was a genuinely nice person, and was always there for you no matter what.

You came upon one of his song covers on the internet. Although he didn’t show his face, his angelic voice managed to capture your attention and next thing you knew, the both of you were constantly messaging and chatting with each other, as y'all seemed to immediately ‘click’.

One problem though-he lived far away from where you did, coming all the way from China. You cherished him as a friend and it broke your heart to know that there was a possibility that the both of you would ever get the chance to meet.

How’s your day going Y/N ah? -renjun ☆

I’m still seeing these random colors, is this normal omg? have you experienced this before -you

Maybe you’re just going to meet your soulmate soon? and nah, i haven’t met mine yet, everything’s still black and white for me –renjun ☆

they’d be so lucky though, being able to be yours -you

yours would be luckier -renjun ☆

Your heart almost stopped as you felt yourself blushing, you couldn’t be possibly falling for someone whom you’ve never met before, when you already have a soulmate right?

——

Three months passed but still no one, especially your soulmate, was appearing. You still had the random color ‘strikes’ occuring from time to time everyday, and it only made you more afraid and nervous.

Yet another thing that made you afraid, just last month Renjun had called you frantically telling you that he had seen a few colors that day too, and was similar to what you were experiencing.

He was going to meet his soulmate too and probably stop spending as much time chatting and calling you online. You knew he wasn’t the type to abandon his friends, but you still felt uncertain and part of you wanted to be his soulmate so badly.

You love him.

remember 7pm!! i have great news to tell you -renjun ☆

okay junjun, woah what’s so great? -you

don’t call me that >:-( you’ll know later hehe -renjun ☆

It wasn’t the first time the both of you were going to video call each other, and the first time the both of you did, you were stunned by his beauty and sharp features. The cute and small little smile he’d give when he was giggling melt your heart and for some reason, you could always see a little color whenever you were video calling him, but did not think much about it, assuming that it was part of the random colors you face.

You let your hair fall perfectly on your shoulders, as you looked at the reflection of yourself one last time before accepting his call. You were faced by his comforting smile and soft eyes, as they immediately brightened as soon as he saw you on the screen. He gave a small wave to you, as his mouth formed a small 'o’, “i can actually see a light shade of colors now wow, anyways you’re looking pretty like always.”

Your cheeks turned slight warmer, as you shook your head and laughed, “don’t be like this renjun- anyways, what was it that you were so excited to share?”

Renjun’s cheeky smile shined brightly on your laptop screen, as he asked you to close your eyes. Listening to his orders, you waited for him to signal you to open them again patiently, as you heard the shuffling through your speakers, followed by his calming voice “Okay, open them now”

You squinted your eyes to read the small slip of paper he held in his hands in front of the camera and you screamed loudly- it was an air ticket to your country. Renjun laughed at your reaction, as he paused to continue, “also, my parents are planning to migrate there. We can finally meet up and spend time together!”

You were so happy you were at the verge of crying, as you jumped excitedly around your room with Renjun giggling at you-it was something you had never expected to happen.

——

You clasped your sweaty palms together nervously as you waited excitedly in your seat, your eyes checking the numerical digits on the big screen once every few seconds.

Today was the day you were finally going to meet him, your online best friend for more than a year now. You couldn’t believe this was actually happening.

At the same time, he colors you were seeing had been more defined and of more gradient lately, and they seemed to last longer than usual, was this a sign?

A big group of people emerged from behind the gate, as your eyes darted around the crowd to find that one person you were only looking for.

The young boy looked around confused as he knitted his eyebrows together, also only looking out for that one person.

You saw him, and you immediately shouted out, “Renjun ah!”

The boy turned and his blank and confused expression turned into a bright and happy one, as he made his way running to you, engulfing you into a big hug.

You looked into his eyes, and if felt much different as compared to when you were looking at him through the screen. Almost immediately, you noticed how the light pink color of his lips become darker and that you could see clearly the brown orbs of his eyes-something you couldn’t see ever before.

Everything around you seemed more lively and vibrant, as the colors slowly seemed to take their place. Renjun noticed too, as he grabbed your hand, “This is actually happening right?”

Already tearing up, you nodded your head as you hugged him again, this time the colors did not fade away once, even after a long solid one hour.

He was your soulmate.

——

“Why do you need so many of these plush toys, you’re 17 this year babe” you called out to him, as you help arrange his big collection of his moomin characters from the big box. Renjun gave a small scoff, then rebutted, “I love moomin shush, just help me in arranging that and we’ll be done for today”

You wiped of the perspiration on your forehead, before plopping down on his bed, lazily calling out to him, “You have so many things to unpack because you’ll be living here permanently from now on, are you sure you can finish doing everything”

Renjun flashed you his angelic smile, then nodded his head, “Yes i will, for now let’s go grab lunch shall me?” As he grabbed your hand and pulled you out of bed.

He then stopped and scurried to his backpack. You looked at him confused, but all he did was let out a smal giggle.

He pulled out a red rose from his bag, then held it out to you, “I saw this at the flower shop just now and i thought of you, i love you”

“red is normally seen as a symbol for love and romance,”

You blushed as you brought your lips to his cheeks, “i love you too”

-

this is so bad im sorry ;-;

1-99

1. 6 songs I listen to most? Currently it's been lick by cardi b, rainbow and praying by kesha, grown ass kid by chance, big b's by young thug n chance, and like all of sza's album bc I'm still obsessed w it??2. If I could meet anyone who would it be?Oh no there are so many angels I wanna meet I can't even pick one3. Find book nearest to me pg 23, line 17?I'm sorry I'm in bed n not in reaching distance of one lmao4. What do you think about most?Probably my future5. Latest text from someone else?"WHAT"6. Sleep w or w/o clothes?Depends on how I'm feeling tbh7. Strangest talent?Turning trauma into biting sarcasm lmfao8. Girls? Boys?Girls? AMAZING Boys? Also amazing, but y'all loud lol9. Ever had a poem or song or written about me?I know of 2 poems written ab me10. Last time I played air guitar?Not sure11. Any strange phobias?Clowns and like slimy food?? Idk if those are strange but ik they make me cringe12. Ever stuck a foreign object up my nose?No, I was an advanced toddler13. Religion?Nothing concrete currently but I'm very interested in Buddhism14. If outside, what are you most likely doing?Either w friends or my dog15. Prefer to be behind the camera or in front?Behind16. Favorite band?Florence + the machine17. Last lie you told?I'm waking up at 718. Believe in karma?Definitely19. URL meaning?Lol one of my old friends came up w it and it's basically just ab loving where I'm from I guess20. Greatness weakness/strength?Taking care of everyone else before me lol21. Celebrity crush?TOO MANY22. Ever gone skinny dipping?No23. How do I vent my anger?I usually just needa rant for like 20 min straight then I don't care lol24. Own a collection?I probably have an unreasonable amount of things associated w marching band in my room25. Talking on the phone or online video chatting?Talking on the phone26. Happy w the person you've become?She's def still learning but so much better than where she used to be so yes 27. Sound I hate/love?Any type of metal scratching against another metal and I love hearing dogs run up to me28. Biggest what if?I guess if I had moved away for college? How different I may be rn? All the different ppl who may be in my life rn? 29. Believe in ghosts/aliens?Yes30. Stick your right arm out, what do you touch? Left?Right: My bedside fan. Left: The wall31. What do you smell in the air?Coffee32. Worst place I've ever been to?Probably a court house33. East or west coast?West for the culture34. Most attractive singer of opposite sex?Let's go w either miguel or frank ocean35. Meaning of life in your opinion?Doing what makes you happy for as long as you can while you're here bc at the end of it that's what you'll want, knowing you found peace and happiness for/within yourself, in my opinion36. Define artYour own creativity that makes your soul just feel right ya know? And it comes in all different forms37. Believe in luck?Eh, somewhat38. What's the weather like rn?Hot n sunny39. Time?7:54 AM40. Drive? If so, have you ever crashed?Yes and yes41. Last book you read?Not sure which one but I'm almost positive it was Mary Higgins Clark and if not it was a text book lol42. Like the smell of gasoline?Not at all43. Have any nicknames?Aimster by my parents and a few friends lol44. Last film you saw?To the bone (should prolly finish it)45. Worst injury?I've had a few bad scrapes n cuts nothing really major unless a few bad illnesses count46. Ever caught a butterfly?No but I need one to catch me47. Any obsessions rn?Just coming off of an obsession w the show ozark48. Sexual orientation?Bisexual49. Ever had a rumor spread about you?Many lol50. Believe in magic?Somewhat51. Tend to hold grudges?No I find it best to let that hurt GO52. Astrological sign?Pisces53. Save money or spend it?I wanna say save but my bank account know I'm lying54. Last thing I purchased?Soup, crackers, ice cream, n candy bars (im sick lol)55. Love or lust?Yikes that's a tough one. Both are very good but can be dangerous56. In a relationship?No57. How many relationships have you had?Real ones? Just one. I had at least 4 situationships we're just not gonna talk about lol58. Can you touch your nose w your tongue?I actually can't lol59. Where were you yesterday?The doctor, a pharmacy, popeyes, a store, and my bed mostly60. Anything pink within 10 ft of me?Yah my phone charger61. Wearing socks?Not rn62. Favorite animal?SHARKS 63. Secret weapon to get someone to like you????? Let u know when I find it??64. Where is your best friend?Prolly sleeping65. Top 5 blogs on here?I'm not sure of all of them but def check pelvicthruster and my-secret-life-as-ren for some bomb ones66. My heritage?Black??67. What was I doing at midnight last night?What I do best, sleeping68. What do you think is Satan's last name?Idk omg69. Biggest turn ons?Pretty teeth!! Being nice to me!! Slow kissing!! Neck kisses!! 70. Are you the friend of a friend you'd hope to have?Hopefully, I consider myself a pretty good friend71. There's a dog drowning on my way to work but if I'm late again I'll be fired, what do I do?Save the dog and get away from a heartless boss if they fire me after that tf??72. If given one month to live would I tell anyone n everyone, what would I do w my remaining days, and would I be afraid?Probably only close friends and family, I would want to travel any and everywhere until I couldn't anymore, and I'd be scared of all the unanswered questions ab death but I think I would have to sooner rather than later accept that I can't change what's happening and just live out my fullest life73. Can either have trust or love? Which one?Trust. In my opinion love can't exist w/o trust so74. A song that always makes me happy when I hear it?Too many omg I just rly love music75. Last 4 digits of my number?4061??76. What makes a great relationship?Trust, honesty, attraction, healthy actions from both partners, and NEVER stop doing the little things. So many relationships go to shit bc one or both stopped cherishing the other person in the relationship77. How can I win your heart?Animals!! Good music!! Genuine company!!78. Can insanity bring on more creativity?I think it can in theory, but it doesn't mean you have to be some kind of mad scientist or in an unhealthy mindset to have creativity79. Single best decision I've made in my life?Letting go of people who are no longer good for me or vice versa. Holding onto that hurt does nothing but drag you down80. What do you want written on your tombstone?I actually have a thing w quotes, meaning I have so many I LOVE, I wouldn't even know where to start81. Shoe size?10 (Switch 80 and 81 I mixed up the numbers)82. Favorite word?TOO MANY83. First thing that comes to mind hearing the word heart?Passion84. A saying you say a lot?"It be like that" (probably what's gonna actually end up on my tombstone)85. Last song I listened to?I think it was caretaker by dram and sza86. Favorite color(s)?Blue and gray87. Current desktop picture?I don't have a computer anymore so :/88. If you could press a button, making anyone explode, who would it be?There's a lotta ignorance I wanna get rid of in this world but I don't even think I could explode anyone lol89. A question you'd be scared to tell the truth on?And expose myself..I think not lmao90. Turn offs?I really don't line unnecessarily rude/mean people or anyone who speaks to you as if they're superior91. If I ate a vegetable that gave me superpowers what would it be?Hopefully mental stability tbh92. Where are your parents from?My dad's from Vackaville, California and my mom's from Abbeville, Louisiana93. If I could erase any horrible experience from my past what would it be?I could definitely get rid of a lot of painful things but I feel like I could also be a drastically different person94. Opportunity to sleep w a music celebrity of my choice, who('