#i cant even articulate how i feel what am i gonna do oh god
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GUESS WHO'S MEETING MADS AND HUGH AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
#im actually not okay rn#hannibal#mads mikkelsen#hugh dancy#i cant even articulate how i feel what am i gonna do oh god
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kat talks: the world ep.1: movement
guerrilla has me lacking words and oxygen and im too scared to listen to the rest of the album
propaganda
this reminds me of laser tag or smth akin to alien invasion games
this with earphones >>>
okay thats kinda all i gotta say
sector 1
OH WHY DOES THIS SOUND SO FAMILIAR is it bc of a teaser or what
edit: after my self-doubt being cured through reading other people's posts, i would like to say yes i did think it might have been the outro thingy from answer but i couldn't remember correctly so i was like hm more likely a teaser BUT I SHOULD HAVE GUESSED ugh ofc atz
oh my god izzy if u see this u were right this slaps and im only ,ike 5lines in
THE CONTRAST BETWEEN VERSE AND CHORUS
hongjoongs laugh <3
its a very 'wake up world' kind of song??? like. nice calm oncoming event kinda vibes. lengthening shadows as the sun rises, but timelapsed
i love the synth moving parralell with the melody? theres a term for it but i forgot VNJKSVFS
the bridge buildup is snazzy
i feel like that was a really calm intense song???? like if this was a war or smth this is the preparation and sharpening of weapons and stuff
cyberpunk
oh this one is intense intense
THE BASS hehehehehehhee its so central and then the claps are further to each side and it sounds very nice
OOO i love how the bass/percussive synth sounds just disappear at mingi's 'fix on'
the change in texture is really nice!!
NFJVKFSNVKJFSKVFNJVFNKVS WAIT WAI SNJKVSF
CHROMATIC DESCENT CHROMATIC DESCENGRJKBDFKNB
i'm getting the circus/clown theme in my head now.
funnky lil mashup potentially???
okay i really like this song and not just bc of the chrom descent
the percussive synth thingy ARGHHHH loml in this song
OHHHHHHH THE SOLO CHROM DESCENT WITH NO BACKING INSTR VFNSJKVNFSFJKVNSKJVNSK
THE BEAT-LATE STARTNJKGVSNJVNSJKVSNVKSNJVKSNVKDSV
AHHHHHHHH ANOTHER DELAYED STARTTTT
the descending vocals w the higher adlib thingies >>..
guerrilla
okay seatbelts on im gonna go crazy
this is mv commetary too!!
THE BASS heheheheheheh
the beat silence HHBD
AHHAHAHAHA HONGJOONG'S SIDE JUMP
god the lazy rap (?) >>
the drawling kinda "oHHHHhhh" synth after the yell
yunho and yeosang stop stop stopsotpsots
seonghwa beloved
are thsoe strings in the prechor??
whether or not it is i think an prchestral arrangment would be sexy af
the synth in the chorus tooo AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
THE KEY CHANGEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
THE GUITFGHDBSHVKDBSKVDS
haha very sane of me
upside down mingi good mingi
nah the directing for this mv is insane imo
the vocals during the upside down mingi bit that repeats his lines and then sings with >>>
the yunho/san part SNHFFDNDSKDSJNDSKDSSDV
seonghwa beloved pt2
key change again!!!! i think
cant wait to fiddle around to figure this out
THE ROCK BRIDGE SJUT UP I DIDNT APPRECIATE THIS IN MY FIRST LISTEN
drums and bass my most BELOVED i think an electric violin would be super sexy in the bridge
the final chorus LOVE LOVELOVEEEEEEEEEEE
god i cant even articulate properly rn this song literally starts on a high and then gets better and better and better
the ring
the way the smile just slowly grew on my face is almost theatrical imo
i love the silences !!
0:55-2:05 is so scrumptious harmonically but i cant yet figure out why
the way each section sounds different is so cool to me
one ring to rule them all??? i knew i should have made a lotr joke at the beginning
also ive been fiddling around w an online keyboard as i listen along to this song which is why theres so few comments JNDFKSNVSK
oh wait. the organ???? sounds like an organ???
wdig (where do i go)
THE LAUGH
damn ngl thought this was gonna be a ballad-y slower song
@ 0:26 the chord goes. goes funky. i am once again harmonically intrigued (minor 3rd??? )
@ 0:48 @ 0:55 i am once again intrigued
wait is the chor a key chabge??? do i just sinply think everything is a keychange????
loving the tempo changeups as well!! or is it the same tempo.
new world
NICE
rhythm game vibes
OHHH YEAH THIS IS NICEEEEE same
do u think hognjoong records a new laugh in all the songs or does he use the same audio file
i am once again having harmonic feelings
can reacttothek react to this album pls
why does the chorus/hook remind me of one ok rock
2:34-2:39 is sure funking snazzy i love it
another prepare for war song i love it
this whole album gives 'prepare for war' kinda vibes i love it
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I want. You to rant. About how much you love Great Comet
Oh god. Oh dear. This is too much power for one person to have. How would i even know where to start????
Okok so if we talk about great comet i have to start with how there’s not a bad song in that show. More than that, there’s not a BORING song in the show. Which is really hard to achieve, i think. In almost every one of my favorite musicals, there’s at least one song where im like “ok i can live without listening to this song rn. Its just ok” and great comet has none of those!! Every song and its mother are certified bangers!!
I love that the actors all play their own instruments??? Thats so fucking cool?? I love that in every production of it the audience is part of the stage!! Because there’s something so intriguing about pieces of theatre that not only break the forth wall, but like dont even build one in the first place? There’s a warmth to it, an intimacy almost, of these characters letting you into their world, actively telling you their story like you’re sitting down with them for dinner.
There’s a saying about audience participation in theatre thats like, as soon as you let the audience participate, you give away control of the piece. In Comet the audience isn’t participating per se, but they are an active part of the piece now. They’re like set almost. It’s incredible the trust that goes into it.
And more than that, i am a sucker for like… weird music. I am such an audio person, and comet’s music is anything but predictable. I love malloy as a composer because he does that thing where he like, writes what is essentially three separate musical progressions, and just stitches them together. Because it doesnt matter if music is symmetrical!! It doesnt need to be!! It’s still a song!! And i rib on a lot of music quite often for not rhyming when they could, or not rhyming better than they did. With comet, the lack of rhyme is not only intentional, but it absolutely adds to the language of the piece as a whole.
What i mean is, in regular musicals song and dialogue are interspersed. Characters sing when the emotions get to strong for speaking (and dance when those get too strong howard ashman etc etc). You as an audience member understands that the character is not Actually singing, but actively emoting something they cant express well enough in words. In sung through musicals, you get the opposite. The language of the piece is established completely musically (which is where motifs and whatnot come in but we can talk about that another time).
The music sets the tone without dialogue exposition. (Think the dreamy mmmmmmmmmms natasha sings in moscow that sound very no one else-y. We’re hearing how natasha feels about andre before she ever even articulates it.)
The voice parts of the characters help establish archetypal character traits. (Marya D being an alto when most motherly/mentor-y roles are altos, natasha being a soprano ingenue. A subversion of this trope is tenor anatole, because we’re meant to think he’s a leading man good guy vibe and he ends up bad. But still his voice type tells you exactly how he portrays himself so it still is effective!!)
Tempos (the beginning of preparations. That plan was hastily made as hell, so of course they’re gonna sing about it fast. No room to stop andthink) and harmonies (constrained and strained. Lyrics say it all) and keys and scales (im sure you all can feel the difference between putting things in major keys than in minor. There are others but those are the big ones) convey every emotion the character feels, and every emotion the audience needs to.
And when they add DIALOGUE! Like real, genuine, spoken dialoge. Its a FULL FUCKING STOP. Yes im talking about if i were the brightest handspmest best man on earth. And if i were free.
This is getting really long but i do want to talk more about music and callbacks and motifs and character stuff and maybe even if im lucky i can talk a little bit more about design elements. Not now tho, but when my mind is clear (think of me)
Anyway. It goes without saying that i do genuinely think Natasha Pierre and the Great Comet of 1812 is the greatest musical every written and to ever grace the broadway stage. And im right.
#this became a lot more analysis than it was gushing#and a lot more about thw structure of musicals than it was about why i like great comet#except that it IS about why i like great comet#because it does those things and it does them well!!!!!!! reallt fucking well!!!#i just. god media is good. god theatre is so fucking good. god art.#i just. want to create a piece of theatre as good as this
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HELLO I finally finished RTRO this ones a doozy it was amazing i loved it here r my THOTS
- you said you hope the ending of this obliterates me and i hope so too <3
- “There’s a terror that tugs at her heart sometimes, when she thinks about Lena.” this makes me want to eat rocks /pos
- ALDJAKDJAF “What the fuck Alex? I do a GOOD JOB of hiding my crippling fear of being left behind!”
- I need Kara “Abandonment Issues” Danvers to go to therapy pls <3
- BAHAHAH I THOUGHT KELLY WAS GONNA BE HER THERAPIST?? nvm that would probably be a conflict of interest
- Kara “goes catatonic for two hours, explodes a pillow, and cries in the shower” Danvers i love you so much
- “Who have you lost, Kara?” “Everyone.” IM GONNA COME TO YOUR HOUSE
- OH SO THIS IS THE HEIGHT MARKING SCENE this is taking me out at the kneecaps
- I feel like i’m so bad at articulating any actual thoughts cause I’m just screaming about the little moments as i read. But literally its like! It really is the little things!! They’re finally getting to where they can just have lunch together again, and see movies and go for bike rides. And Karas trying to do things that are meaningful for Lena like carving their heights in the door! Its all the little things they do that actually say “I love you” theres no One Big Gesture Kara can do to prove she loves Lena. okay i need to shut the fuck up im yearning
- BLEASE LENAS GOING TO ARGO
- literally every scene i think theyre gonna kiss
- Lena touching Karas hand “with an attention that borders on adoration” dont TALK to me dont LOOK at me
- A SMALL BOX???
- “She can’t ever, ever let Lena go. Not without her knowing that she’s scored onto the very fabric of Kara’s existence” I CANT DO THIS ANYMORE GOD IM COMING UP jesus faye this one im
- “Im choosing you, Lena. For as long as I can. Forever.” “Will you choose me?” STOPP
- “planting a Dar-Essa flower for her. Here, in the garden, under the trees.” this is where i fucking cracked dude. like crying so hard i cant read
- I? Like. The Dar Essa was supposed to grow for Kara, but got messed up. Red Daughter was Kara, in a way, but mistreated and lied to. And now that this is all over she can replant the Dar Essa and maybe itll grow for the both of them, and they can have this new start together.
- “I wish she could be here.” // “She is.” im gonna die i cant. they ask you how you are and you just have to say that youre fine-
- I cant even like. the devastation of bringing it back to Red Daughter at the end. I am obliterated <3
- Anyway booking my flight rn im gonna come punch you
BRO IM REALLY OUT HERE DROWNING IN LOV RN
#this has made my entire day#nay; WEEK#im glad u enjoyed and also were gently obliterated <3#that came out dirtier than intended my apologies#dude i fucking LOVE writing limited third person pov especially from kara's perspective#because the opportunities to set everything up so clearly for the reader while still having kara 'dumbass' danvers completely oblivious#are literally LIMITLESS#ie kara 'nobody knows about my crippling abandonment issues because i do SUCH a good job of hiding them :)' danvers my beloved <3#lmk when your flight gets in i'll pick you up at the airport and fight you in the parking lot :')#ty for making me soft bro#quite literally 🥺#much love#asks#thebreakfastgod
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I am Very Tipsy (okay I'm drunk so sorry about spelling but also ¯\_(ツ)_/¯) but I just wanted to say that since I started reading your rqg series I have not been able to stop thinking about it! I mean the fucking development of it all just really gets to me it's incredible, don't get me wrong i like most interpretations of their relationship but there's just a soft spot for me when it comes to 'if I wasn't stuck with you we never would have gotten past how incredibly annoying you are' like every interaction they have pre-timeskip is deliberately pissing the other off and I feel like a lot of writers kinda side step it (again not a criticism) and I just love that you can feel the frustration when you write them. I mean in 'always forgive your enemies' you've got Zolf trying desperately to be like "no I've grown as a person it's been a long time he's clearly been through Some Stuff and maybe we'll be able to work together" and then Wilde says 1 sentence and zolfs immediately like "actually no fuck you I was right to not give a shot when you got tossed off a ship you're a tool" and the development of that to I don't like you but we've gotta work to whether to I don't dislike you but your friend sucks and no I'm not jealous what the fuck are you talking about to the terrified guilty rage if not being listened to but oh gods is he gonna be okay in 'experience' (along with just the utter heartbreak of Wilde almost reaching out to Zolf because yeah he does trust him now but then remembering that this is contagious and what if hes infected and what if it's HIS fault that Zolf gets sick and immediately shutting down and putting himself through a week in solitary IN THE ROOM HE SHARED WITH BOSIE SURROUNDED BY THOSE MEMORIES TOTALLY TRAPPED WITH THAT KNOWLEDGE BY THE PERSON HE TRUSTS BY HIS OWN ORDERS I MEAN FUCK DUDE and the kind of flirting except no I'm not but I mean if *you* were I wouldn't not be????? In 'the country' and 'talked about' and even then there's so many guards up and there's so much in the way - the blame the self loathing the guilt and the anger of it all AND the whole theres 2 people who had never met before we introduced them who shouldn't work are doing WHAT in quarantine (and also 👀👀👀👀👀👀👀) AND FUCK DUDE THE LATEST INSTALLMENT!? IVE BEEN THINKING ABOUT IT SINCE YOU RELEASED IT HOLY FUCK! THE UNFAIRNESS OF THE SITUATION THE BETRAYAL OF SOMETHING LIKE THAT HUT THE ONLY THING YOU CAN BLAME IS THE CIRCUMSTANCE THE ONLY ONES YOU CAN CURSE ARE THE GODS BECAUSE THIS ISNT HOW IT WAS SUPPOSED TO GO! THIS ISNT FAIR! WILDE SHOULD HAVE BEEN ABLE TO MAKE THAT DECISION FOR HIMSELF ZOLF SHOULD HAVE BEEN ABLE TO FEEL TRUSTED THEY SHOULD HAVE BEEN ALLOWED TO FEEL SAFE AND TRUSTED AND WHOLE AND TOGETHER AND THIS FUCKING INFECTION TOOK THAT! IT FORCED WILDE TO TALK ABOUT IT IN CIRCUMSTANCES HE COULDN'T CHOOSE! IT MADE ZOLF KNOW ABOUT BEFORE HED ACTUALLY BEEN TRUSTED WITH IT! AND IT WAS SO FUCKING UNFAIR AND DUDE IT WAS INCREDIBLE I JUST CANT ARTICULATE HOW I FEEL ABOUT IT AND THE WHOLE DISCUSSION JUST GOD IM YELLING IN MY OWN HEAD BUT NONE OF THE WORDS EXIST! I know a while ago you said you'd read something and you weren't sure about your own writing but Hank oh my fucking god please know that I've been thinking about what you wrote for the last month, I've been talking about it to my friends I'm so hyped for anything you have to write and I have no idea where you want to go with this or what points you plan to hit and everytime I get a notification I'm both excited and terrified and I just love it so fucking much your writing is incredible
Ooh my friend I have been waiting for your comment since I posted "Punish", I have come to enjoy your tipsy insights because yeah!! You get it! These fkn onion boys and their LAYERS of barriers they've both got up around intimacy (and yes I absolutely LOVED contrasting that with Barnes and Carter who in my head canon met like... 6 weeks ago? And just blew straight past any agonising over what it meant and got on with it. There's more of them in the next scene too BTW).
As soon as I decided I wanted to tackle the time gap with a trans Wilde, the strip inspections were the first thing I knew I'd have to wrestle with, and I KNEW it would be brutal and unfair and un-fun but also?? Absolutely one of the draws to ZolfWilde is that they've been through some absolute shit together, and exploring how instead of turning into unhealthy trauma bonding, it grows into something unlikely yet beautiful, and the fucked-up trans reveal was just another thing on the pile that they overcome or work through.
And Zolf has the thought of "this isn't how its supposed to go" but he wouldn't even be as close Wilde if not for the fucked up circumstances. There's no "supposed to". If this hadn't happened, Zolf and Wilde would have never worked together and continued to distantly think the other one was a git if they crossed paths. So it's a parodox of a thought.
Thank you for your nice words abt my writing, as always. I'm gonna go work on the next part u legend.
#Ask hank#Just realised I should tag stuff about the fic with a single tag instead of just general RQG#Strange Company
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hi again :) I know i'm always here with songs and i feel like it's getting a bit annoying but that could just be me overthinking it 😭 But i have another song!!! Die for you by the weeknd seems perfect for Matt trying to get reader back. Like once he comes back to his senses and realizes he loves Reader and not Elektra. I think the song perfectly paints Matt's perspective as he tries to win the reader back.
I think the song perfectly explains the whole martyr thing Matt goes through too. His "you're too good for me so I need to push you away" thing but also "I love you too much to actually stay away" is kinda explained in the song. Whenever i listen to it, i think of it as a heated conversation between the reader and Matt. Reader just frustrated with why Matt is suddenly involved and, in their eyes, "acting" like he loves them again. Matt's trying to explain what he really feels for them.
"I'm finding it hard to articulate the feelings in going through. I just cant say i don't love you, cause i love you. It's hard for me to communicate the thoughts that i hold, But tonight i’m gonna tell you the truth. Baby, let me tell the truth."
I meaaaannnn...that part alone is very much Matt to me. The need to explain himself and his decisions always. To explain to people why he is the way that he is. Moving on tho..
"You hate that you want me, i hate it when you cry. You're scared to be lonely, especially in the night. I'm scared that i'll miss you cause it happens every time. I don't want this feeling, i can't afford love. I try to find reason to pull us apart; it ain't working cause you're perfect and i know that you're worth it. I can't walk away."
I think in that weird stage of Elektra being gone again and Reader is actively trying to soothe their broken heart, Matt is fully trying to convince himself that Reader is better off without him. That's just who Matt is. He's always convinced people are better off without him. I think Matt might even go as far as to think that it's Gods way of letting Matt know that Reader is better off without him. I mean why bring back Elektra and have him ruin everything he built with Reader without a cause? Matt's always trying to find reasons behind everything in his life. I have a feeling that eventually, after a while of trying to convince himself that Reader is good without him, Matt comes to the conclusion that he doesn't care. For once in his life he wants to be selfish and have them. He wants Reader and is that too much to ask for? I think that's when he starts reappearing more often in their life and making attempts to get them back.
"Even though we're going through it and it makes you feel alone, just know that i would die for you. Baby i would die for you. The distance and the time between us, it'll never change my mind cause baby i would for you."
I always imagine that after this heartfelt moment of Matt spilling his guts to reader about how he really feels, the apologies and explanations, Reader is starting to let them in their lives again. Testing the waters with Matt. They let him in slowly, as friends first ofc, but giving him the chance to be their friend when before they wanted nothing to do with Matt. I think it's sweet how Matt lights up once he realizes.
Anyway it's 3 am where i'm at and i’m starting to get delirious so i'm going to sleep 😌 I hope you have a good night !! 💕💕
My love you’ve returned with another beautiful analysis oh my god. This is just. *chefs kiss* my god.
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damie vibecca exes au part 8
post directory
obsetress: now i just want fanart of damvibecca at the gym
em: well. pitch it to me comrade ghostfucker
obsetress: idk that's about as far as i got i just reread that bit about vibecca in their matching gym outfits and my brain got stuck
em: hypothetically do u have a colour palette in mind bc i associate gym outfits w like. bright loud colours and
em: idk if it works w our earth sign queens
[em note: emily is a liar and did NOT draw fanart of damvibecca at the gym]
[em note 2: we have the gym art now [x] [x]]
obsetress: i was imagining like charcoals tbh, or jewel tones
obsetress: i could see them in like jewel tone purples or that jewel tone blue green color
obsetress: yeah viola jewel tones or blacks n charcoals
obsetress: becs pastels and camels but jewel tones at the gym
em: it’s about Matching
em: And Destroying Ur Ex (platonically)
obsetress: yeah
obsetress: viola's feeling particularly smug about it but then
obsetress: dani's in an old school tshirt and shorts and jamie's in............ one of dani's old school tshirts and shorts
em: YES
obsetress: not intentionally, she just grabbed whatever was there
obsetress: dani chirps "oh you two look so cute! baby look, they have a matched set"
obsetress: viola arches an eyebrow "and so do you, it seems" and dani laughs "not on purpose, jamie just grabbed whatever was on top in the drawer"
viola: you two... share... a wardrobe?
dani: yeah?
em: god cute
obsetress: cute n dumb
em: they can share nearly everything except pants
em: well. pants as a treat
em: haha pants
em: trousers
obsetress: also rly nice rly clean smooth funny juxtaposition in my brain of vibecca being the ones who intentionally match and damie the ones for whom it just accidentally happens
obsetress: hahahah pants
obsetress: they can share pants but................ should they
em: idk miss chapter 12 danis thighs jamies pyjamas
em: should they
obsetress: PLEASE
obsetress: that's exactly what i was referring to THANKS
obsetress: anyway
obsetress: rebecca just laughs
obsetress: viola huffs and bex is like "sorry, babe, but it is kind of funny"
em: dani jamie wearing like
obsetress: YEAH
obsetress: MY THOUGHTS EXACTLY
em: poor viola
obsetress: thinking about dani's ass in those
em: yeah....
em: violas huffing until jamies exercise flush lasts a little Too Long
obsetress: big blush jamie taylor
em: she’s still like ‘oi dani close ur mouth’ but then she
obsetress: yeah
obsetress: just ogling each other
obsetress: (they briefly pause to ogle vi and rebecca passing a medicine ball back and forth as they do squats and have to acknowledge that, yeah, they've all done alright by themselves)
em: funny montage of the gang doing exercise while surreptitiously taking Peaks
obsetress: omg all i want
obsetress:sometimes having friends as a lesbian means they're all your exes except one, who's your gf, and you're all checking each other out always anyway
em
And That’s Beautiful
obsetress
obsetress: dani: checking out viola's biceps, rebecca's abs
viola: checking out dani's thighs n ass
rebecca: minding her business
jamie: scowling n scrawny
obsetress:(n also checking out dani's thighs n ass, viola's biceps, and begrudgingly peeking at rebecca's abs)
obsetress: every other woman at the gym: checking out jamie, trying to figure out the entire dynamic here
are they a polycule? what
em: jamie probably like
em: maybe she gets really into running bc she just checks out and listens to her audiobooks but like
em: slow twitch vs fast twitch fibers so stays scrawny
obsetress: i can see that
obsetress: just gets on the treadmill and zones tf out
em: jamie ‘why don’t i have biceps’ taylor vs jamie ‘no u gotta lift w ur hips’ taylor
obsetress: she hates it but her psych told her it'll be good for her routine so you know she was like yes ma'am every day ma'am
em: cant believe safe lifting procedures screwed her over
em: ‘yes ma’am every day ma’am’ ur just Going for it arent ya anshdjdh
obsetress: sorry but don't tell me you can't hear it
obsetress: jamie's the person who takes notes in therapy
obsetress: jamie, in the locker room after their workout: do my biceps look bigger?
dani, patiently, already knowing where this is going: bigger than what, baby?
jamie: than yesterday
dani: mm, rome wasn't built in a day, you know
jamie: do they look bigger at all?
dani: well
em: i mean not to perceive her too much but mattresses scene indicates AE/jamie like. at least some muscle in the leg area
em: poor jamie
em: not playing to her strengths
obsetress: yeah she does
obsetress: i mean ae has toned af arms
obsetress: she's just wiry
em: how could i forget the benchpressing dog gif
obsetress: dani's like "jamie, baby, come do squats with me and vi" "m'good" "baby, c'mon, you'll like it" "don't wanna do squats" "it could be good for you" "don't wanna do squats with you two"
em: dani: you gotta like. eat more
jamie: i eat plenty
dani: no u graze all day and then u don’t eat dinner
obsetress: dani: five biscuits spread out across a day doesn't count as eating more
em: dani: protein jamie it’s abt protein
obsetress: dani: you need more protein, which is why i think some lentils would really––
em: jamie thinks protein shakes are Nasty
obsetress: jamie does think protein shakes are nasty but dani will make her a smoothie and sneak it in like she's a child
obsetress: viola and rebecca, with their matching monogrammed blender bottles, just staring
obsetress: becca's like "jamie, just drink it, really, it's fine"
obsetress: viola just does this haughty sniff at her and that's what finally gets jamie to start
em: jamie can deal w being a brat but the idea of viola having Anything over her drives her Insane
em: Drives Her Fuckign Nuts
obsetress: she hates it
obsetress: just the absolute fuckin worst
em: do u think dani ever like
em: like they REALLY need to clear out storage but it’s a boiling frog situation where it’s increased so gradually that
em: like jamie thinks it’s Fine storage is Clear Enough
em: it’s Not
em: danis like. should we invite rebecca and vi over
em: just be Idea of A Snide Viola Comment fills jamie w a burning rage
obsetress: oh my god
obsetress: i'm obsessed with this
obsetress: i would read a whole oneshot about this
em: eventually dani comes clean abt it n jamie thinks it’s v funny bc yknow; open and honest communication is a v important part of their dynamic
em: jamie: next time just tell me my storage looks like shite dani or i will be grumbling abt viola for a Week
obsetress: inevitably
obsetress: when they do have to come over to clean
obsetress: dani offers them takeout and wine ("step up from pizza and beer at least," jamie grumbles) and viola's like "jesus, dani, let's just go out to dinner. my treat"
obsetress: at dinner, viola's like "if you want more storage, i have some wonderful properties––"
obsetress: rebecca's mouthing "sorry" from next to her across the table
em: every time they go out rebecca takes vi aside n is like ok sweetheart so you promise you’re not gonna try convince them to sell the apartment again
em: and violas like (mock horror) of course i won’t. ye of little faith
em: and every time
em: every time she does
em: she’s tryna HELP
obsetress: she would too she'd be like
obsetress: "i'm just trying to HELP"
obsetress: "they're our FRIENDS"
em: i’m on a mission to figure out like
em: this is way way down the line
em: but i wanna believe eventually viola and jamie start to, at the v least, Tolerate each other
em: jamie might even be fond of the crazy bird but she’ll NEVER admit it
obsetress: god like vi's on business or some shit in like
obsetress: the UAE
obsetress: negotiating some Deal
obsetress: and so dani and jamie get dinner with just bex and they're driving home after and having a perfectly mundane conversation and then jamie's just blurting like
obsetress: "i think i miss vi"
em: she’s HORRIFIED
em: she tries to play it off as like um
em: she’s Too Comfortable
em: things are Too Boring
em: which is weird knowing everything we know abt jamie
em: but actually she just... maybe misses viola
em: danis like god i wish i was recording this
obsetress: jamie's passed out next to her at home later (it's ten pm) and dani's chattering happily away on the phone with vi (drinking a martini in her dubai hotel room at one am since, y'know, no bars) in bed right next to her
obsetress: "jamie, uh, said she misses you. i know. no, i KNOW. don't tell her i told you. yeah, yeah, you win, vi, we know. uh-huh. uh-huh. i'm gonna pretend you didn't just ask me that"
em: CUTE
em: u can’t lord it over her vi it’s a little secret
em: vi's like when have i EVER
em: she does
obsetress: once they're good again, dani and vi absolutely just. lose time (there's a metaphor in there) talking to each other still
em: this is wholesome tbh
em: i really like the damie stories where like
em: look it’s nice when damie have each other but it’s also nice when they have their own friends and stuff
em: dunno how to articulate that well
em: it’s a balance! it’s a balance
obsetress: yeah! exactly
obsetress: because that's part of the love n possession thing too yk
obsetress: not to say either of them would ever be like "no friends for you" but
obsetress: wanting to have a life outside of your partner yk
obsetress: they're meeting vi and rebecca for dinner after vi gets back and vi's just grinning and sweeping jamie into a hug "i heard you missed me"
em: she gets jamie a souvenir t-shirt
em: it’s too big
em: OR
em: child’s t-shirt
obsetress: (jamie sleeps in it that night)
obsetress: oh childs might be better
obsetress: she's like "you're a little scrawny, so..."
em: jamie sleeps in it.... soft bitch
em: she feels too much
obsetress: jamie taylor softest bitch
obsetress: dani watches her pull it on and raises an eyebrow and jamie's just like "wot"
em: jamies like (grumbles) i knew she was comin back i’m just
em: shouldn’t you be HAPPY about this development dani
em: ‘s’a gift... s’rude not t’....’
obsetress: YEAH
obsetress: dani just grins "mmhm"
em: it accidentally makes its way into jamies workout clothes pile
obsetress: oh my GOD oh my god
obsetress: viola's shit eating GRIN when jamie shows up at the gym in it
em: jamies like fok
em: mental maths tryna figure if she wants to just. work out in a sports bra
em: she Doesn’t
obsetress: she Doesn't!
obsetress: (she's shy)
em: god it’s one of those shirts that’s like
em: someone who loves me went to UAE and got me this t-shirt or something
obsetress: dani corners her in their empty row in the locker room "you could've just taken it off, you know" "dunno, not everyone needs to... see that, you know?" "i'd certainly like to see it" jamie rolls her eyes but she's grinning "you can see that any time" "well maybe i wanted to see it during my workout" "dani......."
em: jamies embarrassed bc of her gnarly farmers tan means her tummy is at least five shades lighter than the rest of her
em: crisp tan lines
obsetress: god jamie's farmers tan
em: once again i am bringing my tan lines jamie agenda
obsetress: dani loves jamies dumb farmers tan so much
obsetress: she giggles
obsetress: but it's the most loving giggle possible
em: and then when she gets into running...
em: god when i was rowing there were a couple ppl w like what i called a neapolitan icecream tan which is
em: gimme a second
obsetress: jamie gets all huffy when dani giggles at her tan but then dani's like "baby, no, i think it's cute" and jamie gives her a look and dani grins mischievously and ducks her head
obsetress: and then she's licking and kissing and nipping her way along jamie's dumb tan lines
em: there it is
obsetress: it was inevitable
em: so caught up in the joy of jamies dumb farmer tans i forgot abt her gnarly scar she keeps under wraps
em: baby
em: the most baby
obsetress: baby!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
em: jamie decides the only way to claim the stupid t-shirt as hers is to cut off the sleeves
em: it’s abt the ritual of the thing
obsetress: she shows up at the gym wearing it and
obsetress: that's viola's "oh no she's hot" moment
em: YEAH BABY
obsetress: literally just like
obsetress: world stops
obsetress: viola stares
em: jamie finally gets to do an exercise that shows off her sinewy manual labor grip forearms
em: viola’s probably just as horrified to find jamie hot as every time jamies like oh no
em: violas hot
em: and once again jamie CANNOT know she’s hot bc she will be insufferable
em: she will be the Worst
obsetress: viola's tugging rebecca aside "why didn't you tell me jamie was hot" "what?" viola waves a hand and rebecca just furrows her brow a little and is like "that's just... what she looks like, vi"
obsetress: viola corners dani next "why didn't you tell me jamie was hot" "i did" "oh. right" viola pauses, then "why didn't you make sure i was listening?" dani just gives her a look and walks away
obsetress: dflksdjfldaj god the way jamie and viola are. the same
obsetress: kind of incredibly, in the same ways dani and rebecca are the same
em: “hey baby, did viola seem different today? seemed off”
em: jamies like. is she mad at me. did i break another social taboo.
em: rebecca ‘jamie looks like jamie’ jessel vs dani ‘my gf is so hot i can’t stand it’ clayton
obsetress: "i tell you how hot she is at least three times a week, vi"
em: danis tryna goad her into making the damn shirt a crop top
em: jamies like yeah but isn’t that a step too far. i feel like i am destroying this shirt too much
em: she does it anyway
em: so jamies workout clothes are danis endless grey baggy school t-shirts and this one ugly souvenir shirt that like
em: psychological warfare and she doesn’t even know it
obsetress: i would........ like to see it
obsetress: also crop top jamie is one of my favorite jamies
obsetress: she is severely underrated
em: crop top jamie is
obsetress: and we do not talk about her enough
em: jamie wear More crop tops
obsetress: viola and rebecca in bed, in matching facemasks, after going to the gym post-epiphany that Jamie Is Hot
obsetress: viola: are dani and jamie hotter than us?
rebecca: what?
obsetress: and like
obsetress: viola is NOT insecure
obsetress: she is constantly confident that she's the most attractive woman in the room at any given moment, but
obsetress: she's just so staggered by this realization
em: some neutral third party (ms grose and mr sharma probably) are like well. u guys definitely have a little more of a scary thing going on
em: i’m imagining rebecca and viola at brunch w hannah and owen v seriously discussing this
em: viola brings it up and rebecca GROANS but then she gets invested in the convo
obsetress: GOD yeah
obsetress: she's leaning forward and gesturing with her fork "when you say 'scary'..........."
em: owens like scary is a compliment
em: hannah grose sips her tea knowingly
obsetress: rebecca just narrows her eyes at hannah grose and hannah raises her eyebrows and shrugs
em: after a week or so viola bursts into a room w stupid big sunglasses and a tray of take out coffees and she’s like Don’t You Worry Jamie I Have Concluded You’re Hot But I’m Not Threatened By It
em: jamies like sorry WHAT
em: you’ve been thinking about WHAT
em: viola leaves without ever following it up
obsetress: dani is entirely unfazed
obsetress: doesn't even blink
em: danis like neat she remembered the oat milk
em: everyone in this au is insane
obsetress: any lesbian in 2021 is insane
obsetress: par for the course
em: was gonna protest but
em: Yeah
obsetress: this lesbian meme account i follow on insta is doing “stop asking who’s the top and who’s the bottom. start asking...” posts
obsetress: and one of them is “start asking who’s baby and who’s fuck around and find out” and it just makes me chuckle
obsetress: jamie taylor baby
obsetress: viola lloyd also baby
em: dani is baby passing and jamie is fuck around faking
obsetress: oh my god that’s why that’s why i think we cracked it
obsetress: dani (fuck around) dated jamie (baby) and vi (baby)
obsetress: rebecca (fuck around) dated jamie (baby) and vi (baby)
obsetress: the reason they could never cross further even tho per the transitive property dani (so similar to vi) should be able to date beccs and jamie (so similar to beccs) should be able to date vi is because
obsetress: you can’t have two babies and two fuck arounds in a relationship together
em: oh of course. i see. i see
em: however in the rare rare crack ship of the ‘jamie viola hatefuck’ a similar phenomenon to ‘social anxiety mum friend ordering food’ instinct takes over and someone fucks around and finds out
em: this is just my unhinged jamie viola hatefuck bulkshit which is. it’s ironic ok it’s ironic it’s ironic it’s
em: ok one last thought bc i know it’s super late for u but
obsetress: omg i also have a last thought let’s trade
em: what if mikey is about isabels age n jamie ends up looking after him for one reason or another for a bit
em: and viola absolutely Dotes on him
obsetress: omg
obsetress: that’s what does it. jamie seeing viola w mikey
em: grumble grumble i guess she’s not that bad
em: except then she’s like god what if mikey likes her MORE than me
obsetress: “dani what if mikey gets one of those weird first crushes on vi”
obsetress: dani doesn’t even look up from the laundry “who hasn’t had a crush on vi”
obsetress: jamie’s like “mE” and dani just gives her the most withering look
em: danis like It’s Par For The Course Jamie
em: danis a teacher she’s like it happens don’t sweat it
em: anyway
em: what was. what was ur last little thought
obsetress: i was just thinking more about viola also baby and how also she’s been so privileged her whole life that sometimes there are just some things she can’t do for herself because she just doesn’t know how
obsetress: like she’s never had to learn
em: rebecca gets um
em: freeze dried coffee
em: nescafé
obsetress: but like
obsetress: rebecca genuinely loves taking care of vi for whatever reason (it’s because she loves her) when she really needs it but
obsetress: rebecca also takes no shit and is like “i’m not making the nescafé for you. you’re 36 years old, vi, you need to learn to do it for yourself”
obsetress: and she’ll stand there and watch her do it and then she makes vi do it at least three more times for posterity
obsetress: “i’ll make a plebeian of you yet, viola lloyd”
obsetress: (god only the two of them would think a line like that is funny)
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okay kind of obsessed with the body swap art tho. idk why i just like benrey getting to bully gordon with his own body, his own voice, and i like gordon trying to navigate whatever weird shit benrey’s got going on. gordon not being able to figure out or control whatever organs in benrey’s throat produce sweet voice so it’s just spewing whatever emotions he’s feeling at random (including Horny? uh oh. can’t hide that as easily as a surprise boner can you gordon?)
this ask kicked me into actually thinking about it and your brain is so huge. massive. i lost control
last night i was struggling to articulate thoughts for the body swap thing but this is kickstarting me. i. really love bodyswap stuff........(sighing) i am yet again having to confront the fact that i latched onto an embarrassing number of Things after having first read about them in [REDACTED]. truly hate being alive
so like......potions. you can get into a whole lot of weird stuff with potions. truly loving that darnolds 5-minute existence gives me an excuse to think of the stupidest horny potions scenarios
and why in the fuck wouldnt he have a bodyswap potion just chillin in his lab. why wouldnt benrey crack that bad boy open and take a sip while darnolds bitching at him "dont you touch any of those goddamn potions. im not gonna tell you which ones which so if you die, you die"
gordon claps benrey on the back afterwards like "well, thats a risk im perfectly happy for him to take" but uh oh you fucking buffoon. the touch is what activates it. and shit just starts spinning and schlorping in his mind and he nearly falls over clutching the lab bench next to him and when he cracks his eyes back open, hes........shorter. and everybodys asking if somebodys okay but that somebody isnt him and hes kind of miffed about that
and then gordons head turns and he sees Himself being steadied on his feet by tommy and darnold and hes like.......guys? guys. hello! and the sound of benreys voice coming out of him with that irritated and loud timbre makes everybody turn to face him........b/c that is so insanely weird coming from him
im like way into the idea of benreys, like, Eye Darkness Thing transferring to gordons face when their bodies are swapped, too. its just his malevolent energies manifesting physically no matter what body hes in
Wait god wait. Like. Benrey in Gordon's body and he gets horny for some reason and has to live Gordon's fucking pained life of the suit edging the hell outta him- Bc now Gordon can actually fucking jerk off for the the first time in days. No edging bullshit from the hev suit
benreys newfound appreciation for why gordons such a bitch all the time
RRRRRRRRRRR gordon able to go wild beating his meat that night finally but right before he does he stops because hes looking down at. 8)!
YES EXACTLY....... gordon freeman humbled by the sight of benreys huge meat. except its his meat now
at first he only feels mildly weird about jacking it when hes not even in his own body right now but hes been edged for days now and hes just thinking "if i can just get this out of the way now, ill be clear-headed for however fucking long im stuck in black mesa. maybe this is why ive been so goddamn stupid lately. yeah"
but then he gets some time and space to himself at long last and unzips and the shock of seeing benreys huge uncut dick instead of his own brings him back to reality like "?oh my god what the fuck am i doing"
embarrassment! guilt! but also hes still fuckin horny and eventually curiosity wins out. whats the harm, right. its not like he has to say anything about it. and gordon freeman is (mostly) heterosexual and hes never been this up close and personal with a foreskin before and hes just......curious. scientifically
maybe hes even.......locked himself inside one of the company restrooms while hes at it. just to make sure hes got privacy. and there is a mirror right there........ he was gonna just bust one out and leave as fast as he can but now hes curious
starts. thumbing the hem of his shirt under benreys vest. starts lifting it up experimentally just to see where all that hair leads. out of curiosity. and seeing the curve of benreys stomach peek out in the mirror makes him hiccup on sweet voice inadvertently
weirdly enough theres a part of him thats both relieved and disappointed that hes never seen that color before
he never envisioned that seeing benrey like this would be a turn-on but like......with that vest and that helmet on he just looks like some kind of fuckin roundish rectangle shape. but now gordons intimately familiar with how his body feels to move around in......what hes gotta look like underneath all that armor and ill-fitting work clothes......and the hornier he gets the stupider he gets
takes off the helmet.......just to test the waters. if somebody manages to bust in, thats not so weird to explain. and hes surprised by the shock of black hair he finds under there. he doesnt know what he was expecting....but honestly, benrey looks, like, kind of nice like that. more like a person
im slightly obsessed with the idea of benrey just not even registering as a Real Guy, physically, to gordon, one that he could possibly be attracted to, until hes out of his work uniform.......like hes more of an icon of a person than anything up until that point. pure signifier. no substance
like......you know......the equivalent of how benreys HL model registers to 99% of people watching the series. sure, thats not necessarily anything youd register as "hot", most likely, but then u peel that away and its like........Oh
the model is the icon and the representation of the icon is the real
and gordon runs a hand thru benreys hair and tries out one of those shitty little smirks benrey likes to use on him and the effect is.......dizzying. is that him? is that what benrey really looks like to him?? he feels fuckin salacious doing this
he can even.........get his face up close to the mirror and really look at those teeth
run his tongue over them experimentally.......feel their sharp edges.......and, no, theyre not sharp like a knife, but they are definitely pointy. and surprisingly well-kept......hes never seen benrey brush his teeth before but clearly he must. theyre so smooth and slick under his fingertips
and then he flushes and drops his hand b/c hes getting some weird fucking thoughts right now........but looking back up at himself in the mirror and seeing benreys face all wide-eyed and red makes the issue worse
oh, you really like seeing him look like that, dont you. and gordons pissed b/c this isnt even his fucking brain but its still whispering the exact same neurotic, self-defeating shit at him that hes trying very hard to tamp down
and then he starts getting a little crazier. taking off the vest. he can explain that, no problem. its just kind of hot. heavy. he needed a breather! its normal. just in here to splash some water on his face and cool down, nothing wrong with that. but that just makes benreys shirt all the easier to access.......and he tugs the hem of it just a little higher and looks at himself in the mirror and runs a thumb over the curve of his stomach, where the hair is thickest, and he shivers
gordon freeman is deeply normal and would never get off to the sight of a guy with arms the size of his head tentatively dragging the hem of his shirt up, just for gordon to look at him closer
hands shaking from nerves as he decides to loosen his tie and start unbuttoning and he sees more and more hair-dusted skin and muscle and fat and a thin sheen of sweat reveal itself
> i could see gordon trying to tense and flex the muscles a bit just because hes normal
HE IS, AND HE WOULD
he doesnt know when "being horny b/c hes been pent up and edged for days and he just needs to get his rocks off real quick so he can be normal again" turned into "being horny b/c the way benrey looks under his uniform is scary good to him" but if he thinks about that too hard hes gonna have a panic attack
tells himself that its all just because he hasnt been able to get off. thats why hes thinking this shit. hell stop thinking it once he nuts
> hey this is a quick aside but yknwo how he talks to himself in third person sometimes? what if he does and then kinda does a mental double take at how his name sounds coming out of benreys mouth, with his voice. ok thats it goodbye
oh ym god thats making me go insane. doing it by accident and then.........saying it again. on purpose. just to hear benreys voice doing it
getting one knee hitched up onto the sink and leaning forward with his arm braced against the mirror and his forehead leaning on his arm and tugging benreys dick (no, idiot, thats your dick right now, stop thinking about it) and tentatively groaning out his own name and it comes out so hoarse and desperate that it punches him straight in the gut (too bad, hes thinking about it, he cant not think about it, not with the way he looks and sounds right now)
> remember in the series when benrey called him gordon one (1) time and he noticed immediately and was like..i think thats the first time youve called me by my name.
he looks so fucked out and slutty in that mirror that it almost makes him pass out
eyes darting like hes trying to commit every single detail of how he looks right now to memory (b/c he is. he fucking is. he wants to make benrey look like this so fucking bad. just for him. wreck him and get him flushed and sweaty and panting and moaning gordons name and jesus christ, okay, thats where his brains taking him. okay. cool)
hes dizzying himself thinking about it. he knows benreys hot for him by this point, theoretically. assuming his weird come-ons werent just jokes. benrey would probably let him do this to him. benrey would probably want him to touch his dick. gordon thinks about how good it might feel for his own hand to be on benreys dick and he cant get himself solidly into one headspace or another - hes gordon, hes benrey, he wants to touch, he wants to be touched, he wants to feel his own hand on this dick (and god, maybe he could. maybe he could ask. wouldnt that be crazy.)
benrey in gordons suit and gordons body and gordons face leaning over him, b/c fuck, he really is tall compared to benrey, hes figured that one out awful quick. and gordons (his) hand on his (benreys) dick and stroking him and leering down at him with those dark, dark eyes that dont even really look like his eyes, anymore, not with the way theyre shaded over, and hearing his (benreys) (his) voice moaning out his (gordons) (definitely gordons) name and all the little "pleases" and "thank yous" that he cant stop letting out b/c benreys voice was made for it, made to beg and whine and ask so nicely, and his heads spinning as he comes all over the fucking mirror and sink
> i wonder if this could be combine with the ideas that parts of the self or like mind is still a bit left behind if that makes sense, like with benrey also wanting this that part of the reason gordon wants to say those things
"do you want to fuck him or do you want to be him?" well my good bitch, perhaps you can have a little of both. welcome to my personal hell
hes never come so hard in his fucking life and the noise that rips out of him when he does, finally, after days of being jerked around (ha ha) makes his ears burn with shame
now if you really wanna go crazy. imagine that benreys up and walking around this whole time b/c being edged by his stupid broken suit is making it impossible for him to sleep, and he hears........all of this. stops and presses himself flat agains tthe wall to listen
he cant actually get into the bathroom to scare the shit out of gordon/offer to join in/etc, b/c this stupid flesh body of gordons cant even noclip, but he can press his ear to the door and. listen. and he can flush all the way down to his chest when he hears gordon in there, moaning out his own name with benreys voice
so thats what gordon wants him to do, huh. thats what hes thinking about.
poor benrey, tho. he gets to experience just a lick of the endless fucking suffering that gordon goes thru every single day just by being alive, and "the HEV suit trying and failing to suck him off to completion while his dick twitches against the hard metal of the interior every time gordon groans in there" is just one small part of it
anyway . see ya. my final message
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HS^2 bloggin’ mainline 2020-12-25
I’m not going to spend time BLOGGING an upd8 on Christmas morning!
...yes I am who the fuck am I kidding. (Bonus stuff and Hiveswap are still well on hold though.)
So are we gonna follow up on the main ship? Probably not, right, with that perfect Karkat point to cut away, right? We’re just going to leave Roxy’s question hanging, as well as makeouts etiquette, and leave while having seen a COUPLE FRAMES of non-possessed canon Jade with only whatever fun fanart was inspired across the internet by the moment to tide us over????
Yeah, probably.
Ugh, more Dirk. I guess it’s overdue. :(
> CHAPTER 16. Welcome to my Secret Lair
Oh huh, I guess not? So... Jane’s, or Rose and Kanaya’s?
Karkat stays for longer than John thought he would. They talk a bit, but mostly they are quiet. Eventually, Karkat gets called away on yet more important war business, leaving John with one final touch on the shoulder. John leans into it in response, though he’s a bit ashamed of chasing down a sliver of physical affection so soon after obliterating Karkat’s evening like he had.
Pretty much, yeah. Can’t blame either of them.
When Karkat is finally gone, John still doesn’t move. It isn’t as though he has nowhere else to go, since there are quite a few places he might attempt to make himself useful, for better or for worse.
You’re still abandoning the task that was explicitly yours to protect your literal kid and his friends, but, oh well. Low-point. Dave dead, house dead, broke news, I get it.
He just doesn’t feel ready for that yet. The remnants of his house are still smoldering, and he can’t stop staring at them. It would make sense, he thinks, to want to root around through the rubble for anything that’s still intact; some half-charred keepsake to claim as the last thing left that’s still his. But he doesn’t want to do it, and he doesn’t want to think about it. And he still can’t move.
Can’t move. No Breath huh? What’s going to get him to, then?
> (==>)
Oh boy, that might help. XD She’s pretty good at that.
> (==>)
Still with the waistline gap. And was his phone always yellow like his God-Tier shoes?
ROXY: hey john can u do me a quick solid
ROXY: actly idk how quick itll be but its definitely solid
ROXY: harry anderson says i just missed u being here but could u skip back on over?
Nice, huh! No judgment, just a hey-any-chance-you-could-swing-back. He sort of needs to be needed right now, in a simple, almost everyday non-judgmental way I guess. (That’s what he NEEDED anyway-- whether he deserved it though is up for debate.)
ROXY: i need help w/smth and yr darling boy is holed up in his room working on some fuckin craft project or other and cant be bothered
YES SEW JOHN A BETTER FITTING FUCKING OUTFIT
ROXY: and now that me and u are freshly on speakin terms again i might as well take advantage of that olive branch and put u to work
ROXY: assumin you havent died in an air raid, that is
ROXY: which id also be interested in knowin about so if u wld be so kind as to reply instead of leavin me hangin
Heheheh. Gosh Roxy is always the best.
JOHN: yea yea sorry im here.
JOHN: i just had a hard time getting my phone out of these fucking tiny pants.
Hah.
JOHN: and also my house is bombed out so i'm kinda grappling with that.
JOHN: but i honestly am not sure how much longer i need to sit around staring at it. trying to align my memories of my youth with whatever is happening right now so
JOHN: short version is no i’m not dead, and yeah i can come back over there and help you out.
ROXY: oh sweet yr alive and down to do manual labor its a win/win
JOHN: see you soon.
Yep! Pulled away from all the metaphorical, ultra-meaningful bullshit, back to some brass tacks with some easy humor. Definitely something Roxy can do well.~
> (==>)
EXCUSE ME. What is that outfit and pose. Did you--
ROXY: sup
ROXY: follow me
ROXY: well were just going to my room so i guess technically u know the way
JOHN: haha ok.
Did you invite him over for the manual labor of banging you while your son is sewing in the other room
Or maybe the labor is making him a new sibling. JFC
Is this plan part of why we got the sudden content warning that was mocked or was that mainly for Hiveswap
John follows, trying to shake the ominous feeling he got from what she’d just said. He’d been in and out of this house a lot in the past few days. Why should this be any different?
I DUNNO JOHN DOES THIS SEEM DIFFERENT TO YOU
> (==>)
Yea this seems like a fucc room.
JOHN: it’s not like i could forget!
ROXY: ya i guess u only really saw the living room when you were here the other day but i have changed some stuff up
ROXY: done a lil redecoratin here n there
So it’s MORE of a fucc room than previously >__>”
ROXY: may have to do a smidge more if my old bff decides im next on the list for bombing out
ROXY: but so far so good
Ah geez.
ROXY: just a coupla exploded cars in the yard from some shenanigans our dear son and his friends were in but u kno it is what it is!!!
Well, that’ll buff out easy.
ROXY: can i get u anything?
ROXY: just made some coffee
JOHN: no, uh, i’m good.
Of course she has a fancy handled winecoffeeglass (and the handle does look ridiculous but it’d be too hot to hold otherwise)
Roxy shrugs and swirls her own coffee around in her novelty mug. John looks around. A lot about the room is the same. The family photos, the rug. There’s a lot more cat stuff in there now, though. The bed is new. John feels like he’s about to take a test he hasn’t studied for. He makes himself focus on what she’s saying.
That would be the feeling.
> (==>)
MY GOD. Roxy is so fucking good at this holy shit
She KNOWS she’s making him squirm and she loves it
JOHN: so uh anyway.
JOHN: what was this favor?
ROXY: yo why dont u just come rest yr tush for a bit
ROXY: take a lil relax next 2 me here
JOHN: haha uh.
JOHN: roxy i uh.
JOHN: im flattered, but i don’t know if that’s really the right step right now.
JOHN: don’t get me wrong, everything seems so fucked up right now that when i try to think about what might actually BE the right step, it feels like a huge cartoon question mark might physically manifest over my head.
JOHN: but I’m not sure if um rekindling our physical relationship is really the best--
So is Roxy trolling him, about to reveal she wasn’t thinking of sex and was just making things seem sultry? Or just had “lol jk” as an option-select, maybe.
> (==>)
ROXY: r u kiddin me rn egbert
JOHN: i’m not? unless you were, in which case yeah lets say i was also kidding.
JOHN: oh my god, i’m sorry, i don’t know why this making me freak out.
OH NOOO NOT THE DISDAAAAIN - CRITICAL HIT D:
ROXY: i remember our past boot knockin with fondness but that is a situation im not interested in revisiting
boot knockin XD
ROXY: look john
ROXY: i was trying to be polite about it
ROXY: offering u sustenance n rest n all
ROXY: but you look like shit
ROXY: i just wanted to catch up on the whole heinous war situation were in and maybe check in on e/o before leaping strait to the real n actual nonsexual manual labor favor i have in mind for u
JOHN: oh.
Hey, she can’t help looking sexy she’s too good at it.
Is the manual labor moving the crashed cars? Can’t Roxy pull that off on her own, or... banish the cars to the void or something? (Oh, but WOULD she want to do it on her own when she can rope in John and bring him down to earth by giving him a useful task? And admittedly his strength and wallet would make things easier.)
John feels his shoulders unbunch. Of course. Yeah. He’s almost embarrassed by how relieved he feels. So what if his ex wife wanted to hook up? Shouldn’t that be a situation he could navigate? Don’t people like to find solace in human physical connection during dire times? Why did the idea of it make his mind white out in panic more than, say, any number of the traumas he just experienced?
Probably some gender stuff mixed up in there too, June.
He doesn’t know, but he believes Roxy that he must look pretty haggard. He probably feels haggard? Maybe sitting down will feel better.
Just put your feet up yeah
> (==>)
WHAT A CUTE IMAGE
JOHN: sorry. like i said, my "how to react to stuff" meter is completely fucked right now.
ROXY: thats fair bud
she’s used to being patient with you don’t worry otherwise you never would’ve gotten this far
ROXY: real fast i do need to do a quick takeback of all that shit i said last time we talked about janey not being literally the most evil person we knew or whatever
ROXY: i guess i was hopped up on arguin or somethin since that was before we hit our conversational vibe bc of course u were right and i shoulda listened
Ouch. Yeah, we saw just lately just how far off the deep end she was. (Where was that funny upd8 reaction art summarizing the bit where Kanaya was holding Tavros hostage and Jane was transparently debating “hmm do I let my son die?” and Kanaya and Tavros were just looking at each-other flat-mouthed nervous? I REALLY wanted to share that but I don’t usually want to reblog or put most stuff HS^2 not under a read-more, for spoiler purposes, usually.)
ROXY: im just glad ur ok
ROXY: or like alive
JOHN: yeah, jury's still out on "ok" but, you know.
ROXY: ya
ROXY: u said ur house is gone??
JOHN: yep.
JOHN: completely.
ROXY: jeez
ROXY: i would ask how ur feelin but like the answer 2 that has got 2b "prtty bad"
Talk it ouuuut~~ get those feels out there and articulated john
JOHN: yeah.
JOHN: i mean.
JOHN: no?
JOHN: it’s weird.
JOHN: it feels like it should be a bigger deal, I guess?
JOHN: like it’s my HOUSE.
JOHN: but mostly it always felt like my dad’s house?
JOHN: and when i started living there after i moved out of here, it was like i crammed myself back into whatever was left of my kid self?
JOHN: and it didn’t feel good, but it at least was familiar, you know?
JOHN: like living there let me feel closer to my dad, trying to be like the way i remember him, or like how i remember him wanting me to be, or something?
JOHN: and i didn’t realize how much i hated doing that until i saw it all go up in flames.
JOHN: so i guess i could have used my powers to stop the fire and save whatever was left of the place, but i couldn’t bring myself to do it.
JOHN: like some fucked up part of me was glad i got there too late?
JOHN: so i just sat there, watching, trying to figure out why watching my house burn down felt like i was being released from prison.
JOHN: and even now i keep trying to explain it away, as though it’s because of how fucked up everything else is that it made me feel good.
JOHN: but that’s just bullshit.
JOHN: it DID feel good.
JOHN: i DO feel free.
JOHN: sorry.
I was kind of saying some Breath/Blood stuff at the time of him losing his last tie to his stubborn sticking-to-his-kid-self bit? Except now we’re mixing it in with June Egbert and his gender-identity questions too.
ROXY: no need 2 apologize
ROXY: we just delved in2 my whole gender thing last time so it seems fine for u to have a turn
JOHN: i didn’t say it was a gender thing.
Oh shit
ROXY: well no i just meant like i did some sharing
ROXY: like referrin 2 the topic i brought up when we chatted last
ROXY: but like now that u mention it
ROXY: *meaningful pause*
JOHN: …
JOHN: i
JOHN:
ROXY: lol well we can move on 2 the favor part if youd rather
ROXY: stick a lil pin in that topic n come back 2 it when u have had sleep
Are you just INCREDIBLY incisive Roxy or have you and John talked about this before?
ROXY: like i said the other day its not like this shits figureoutable in 1 sitting anyways
JOHN: yeah...
ROXY: sooooooo
ROXY: movin on
It’s just fine for Roxy to slow-roll this yeah, if she’s going to pry open that door a little
ROXY: dont be mad but theres a part of the house u didnt know abt the whole time u lived here
JOHN: what?
ROXY: yea
ROXY: i got a secret lair
ROXY: for my sciences
OH FUCK YES SCIENCE LAB, of COURSE Roxy would want a cool science lab basement because she always wants a cool science lab basement
ROXY: and i get to it via a transportalizer underneath our bed
ROXY: which is 2 heavy 2 move by my lonesome so i just needed to borrow some o your aforementioned powers of wind
Okay no. Wait. What the fuck?
First of all, as funny and MSPaintAdventures-y as furniture being in the way of things is, why would you block it with a bed too heavy to move, but,
Second of all, more importantly, how is a GOD-TIER ROXY not strong enough to lift a heavy bed?!?!?!? Either she’s lying to get John involved in things or this is a gendered cop-out because these characters are superheroes at the TOP of their echeladders, given obnoxiously powerful video-game strength and athletics only to then have ascended into DEITIES. God-Tier Roxy could probably have lifted a bed like that when she was SEVENTEEN! And now she’s an ADULT, out-of-shape or otherwise! If this were a whole CAR I might be willing to handwave it, but just a heavy BED?!? And none of the GUYS are going to have this much trouble lifting a bed like this, are they?? This just feels like following classic cartoony gender tropes in the complete absence of these characters’ super powers, what the fuck, and also Roxy if you didn’t make it Transportalizer-only access you could have given it an entrance you could phase through with your fancy powers to get to. FUCK.
This feels stupid.
ROXY: so if u dont mind woosh away
JOHN: uh ok, well...
JOHN: a secret science lair, sure, i can deal with that.
JOHN: why not!
JOHN: it doesn’t work out great when i do the windy thing indoors, though.
ROXY: aight then no wind bending just use your mangrit
Roxy flexes, the corner of her mouth pulled up into a familiar grin. John feels his guts, so recently calmed, twist up into knots again. Her eyebrows shoot up and the smile loosens. He must have shown something on his face.
You’re already THIS sensitive about gendertalk?
ROXY: ok or just like push when i push
ROXY: we both got sick muscles
ROXY: no other adjectives necessary
JOHN: yeah ok.
ROXY: on 3?
Please, please reinforce the idea that they both have sick strength, because they fucking do and the idea that Roxy actually a hundred percent NEEDED John to do this is BS.
> (==>)
JOHN: holy shit?
ROXY: sorry to lop yet another huge scoop onto ur lil brains ice cream revelation sundae
JOHN: so wait, if this thing's always been under the bed, how’d you get down here before without me?
ROXY: well thats neither here nor there john
JOHN: i mean it is kinda. Here.
ROXY: fine ok checkmate
ROXY: i dont ACTUALLY need ur nerdgrit for this escapade
ROXY: like im sorry but i said it
ROXY: i mostly just wanted to see you and show u wats down here
THANK FUCKING CHRIST.
If that wasn’t actually just a lie to get him involved I was going to stay SO mad. Of COURSE Roxy can move a fucking BED no matter how heavy it is. OF COURSE.
ROXY: and also uve been ~sent for~
JOHN: ok but like
ROXY: john i am inviting u 2 my inner sanctum
ROXY: i am literally bringing out the word "sanctum" in case u werent already clued in 2 how cool this is
ROXY: so do u wanna go into my secret lair or wat
JOHN: yeah!?
JOHN: yes? i guess?
ROXY: aight good
Yes John of course you want to stop fighting it
ROXY: then as they told me in the hospital before lil h a was born
ROXY: just push
eyeroll, but yeah, of course
> (==>)
Oh cool, sprite form version of her loungewear.
> (==>)
Sorry for my compulsion to post every full-frame image of Roxy in this awesome outfi-WERE YOU KEEPING CALLIOPE UNDER YOUR BED THIS WHOLE TIME?!?????
That’s like... almost a fucking metaphor isn’t it???? For the relationship you preferred in the other timeline and possibly THIS one TOO or
ROXY: hey callieee i got him
ROXY: o damn john sorry i shoulda also told u callies here weve been hangin out again
ROXY: 1 more freak for ur bean
Oh huh, so this isn’t an always thing. And these two can get close in more than one timeline where it would’ve worked out nicely. :)
JOHN: oh it's ok, my bean feels pretty well adjusted to freakage at this point so keep them coming if you like!
ROXY: k cool i will
JOHN: do i get to know what that big thing under the sheet is?
ROXY: hmmmmmm no
JOHN: oh ok.
JOHN: are you sure? i mean, it seems like a pretty prominent feature of the room.
JOHN: space.
JOHN: wherever we are.
ROXY: and a totally mysterious n COMPLETELY inconspicuous feature it will have to remain for now
ROXY: we r kinda in a hurry here fyi
ROXY: and by that i mean
ROXY: we are in precisely the amount of hurry that means im excused from having to a that specific q rn
JOHN: right, sorry.
JOHN: i will pay no attention to the object behind the curtain.
ROXY: u catch on fast egbert
ROXY: anyway theres more cool info coming so just follow me
I don’t have any big theories. Is it just the Hiveswap device or something? If Calliope helped with it it’d help explain the Cherubic theme.
> (==>)
JOHN: so... this is all downstairs?
JOHN: it seems like you had a lot of work done.
ROXY: well no not x actly
ROXY: were in the old meteor
JOHN: under the house???
ROXY: ok so
ROXY: in hindsight it may have been a bit misleading 2 say like
ROXY: "downstairs"
ROXY: in reference to a place which is hells of buried underground and may not actually be literally under the house
ROXY: but there is no time to explain all that rn john so instead im going to refer u to my adorable little green friend here
CALLIOPE: #U_U#
ROXY: (hehe)
CALLIOPE: *AHEM*
CALLIOPE: hi john!
CALLIOPE: long time no see. ^u^
Cherubs just really like dark cavelike places full of weird tech don’t they.
> (==>)
THEY’RE SO CUTE
JOHN: oh, uh. hey callie!
JOHN: it sure has been a while huh.
JOHN: now that i think about it, the last time the three of us hung out like this...
CALLIOPE: was when i was aggressively third wheeling yoUr prenUptial coUrtship?
CALLIOPE: if yoU dont mind, john, i'd rather not rehash that period of oUr lives.
CALLIOPE: it was more than a little painfUl for me.
JOHN: oh.
JOHN: god, jeez, i'm sorry. i didn't mean to--
CALLIOPE: hee hee john i am only pUlling yoUr leg, don't worry.
CALLIOPE: if anything i was personally a little thrilled with how things shook oUt in that respect.
CALLIOPE: imagine, if yoU will, a yoUng cherUb raised in solitUde, whose only solace was the convolUted and tUmUltUoUs romantic schemata she projected onto her only friends from another Universe.
CALLIOPE: and then fUrther imagine that this yoUng cherUb, throUgh varioUs even *more* convolUted contrivances, ended Up in the company of those selfsafe friends as an eqUal participant in their sphere of social discoUrse!
CALLIOPE: it is a joy the like of which yoU possibly cannot fathom. u_u
Reinforcing that things turning out this way was in fact the FANTASY that Calliope was writing over in the Canon timeline. Just, heavily, HEAVILY implied that the Candy timeline is -- or at least originated as -- Calliope’s fanfiction as a Muse of Space, and its competition for audience interest with canon is the essential conflict between alt!Calliope and Dirk (or Dirk and Andrew Hussie).
CALLIOPE: so to pUt it simply, getting to experience sUch emotional drama myself was an impossibly enriching experience.
CALLIOPE: possibly a first for my species!
CALLIOPE: it's actUally qUite interesting, if yoU
ROXY: *nudge*
CALLIOPE: oh, right. yes. i'm getting a little carried away, haha.
CALLIOPE: argh, i'm sorry, this is not how i planned to begin this vital conversation.
Vital conversation? What sorta truth-bombs are coming?
CALLIOPE: but to sUmmarise, what i was trying to say is:
CALLIOPE: don't beat yourself Up aboUt it john.
CALLIOPE: besides, hUman divorces are even more fascinating than i had ever imagined, and being able to witness yoUrs in motion was an honoUr.
CALLIOPE: so i consider Us aboUt even at this point.
JOHN: hahaha!!!
JOHN: okay, well that's good to know!
CALLIOPE: ^u^
Holy SHIT that was savage! And we’ll NEVER know whether or not she really intended it so savagely, either.~
JOHN: so um...
JOHN: i hear that there's this big secret thing you wanna tell me about?
CALLIOPE: oh right, yes of course!
CALLIOPE: let me jUst say first of all how thrilled i am that yoU're on board.
CALLIOPE: i wasn't sUre if yoUr natUral inclinations woUld have preclUded yoUr coming to such a place as this, and yet here yoU are.
CALLIOPE: this whole endeavoUr will be *so* mUch easier with yoUr help.
Uh oh.
Hopefully babies aren’t involved.
JOHN: oh! well, shucks.
JOHN: not really sure what that means but i'm just glad to be of use somewhere, haha.
JOHN: which, speaking of somewhere,
CALLIOPE: ah right, right. yoU're probably a little cUrioUs as to where the dickens we are.
CALLIOPE: how much do yoU know aboUt black holes?
JOHN: um... like, the big space things?
CALLIOPE: they aren't always big actUally, and in fact their relative smallness is practically their defining qUality.
JOHN: oh.
CALLIOPE: bUt okay i think we are on the same page.
CALLIOPE: so, what if i told yoU that we are inside of a black hole right now.
Oh dear, we’re getting into the canon/noncanon divide?
JOHN: um...
JOHN: like, HERE?
JOHN: we just transportalized into a black hole?
CALLIOPE: no, i mean, what if oUr whole WORLD was inside a black hole.
JOHN: ok.
Yeah, that’s gonna be John’s reaction. “ok.” Pretty much inevitable.
CALLIOPE: earth c, or at least oUr version of it, has, from the moment we crossed the victory threshold, been inside a black hole.
JOHN: ok.
CALLIOPE: and not just any black hole, bUt the very black hole in which the green sUn Ultimately met its demise, allowing oUr victory in the first instance!
JOHN: huh!
ROXY: ("huh!")
ROXY: (rofl my fucking ao egbert)
JOHN: (shhhh!)
And Roxy enjoys his non-reaction reactions as much as we do, hehe.
CALLIOPE: bUt, paradoxically, the critical moment which determined its capture within the black hole happened *after* that point.
CALLIOPE: i refer of coUrse to yoUr decision not to retUrn to the mediUm and fight my brother.
JOHN: wait, wait.
JOHN: you mean, the meat and candy thing?
JOHN: oh my god.
JOHN: you mean i actually DID make a mistake that day.
CALLIOPE: well, that's not exactly what that--
JOHN: ugh, i fucking KNEW it!
JOHN: i'm so sorry.
JOHN: i'm so sorry that i put the earth inside a black hole everyone. ):
ROXY: john
ROXY: listen
ROXY: u have got to get out of this mindset i am begging you
JOHN: ):
Yeah shake him out of this shit.
ROXY: your choice literally didnt matter
ROXY: the whole thing was symbolic in the first place
ROXY: literally symbolic in the case of the picnic i mean come on
ROXY: it was just some steak and a plate of candy suckers
JOHN: oh.
CALLIOPE: i mean, i wouldn't go so far as to say that the meal we shared was unimportant, given the sacred significance of the two options i presented.
CALLIOPE: but yes, yoUr choice of snack was infinitely less important than the choice which it presaged.
CALLIOPE: and even then, calling it a choice woUld be sorely misleading.
CALLIOPE: think of it like a coin flip.
CALLIOPE: the series of events that led to Us being trapped beyond the event horizon of an Ubermassive black hole could be considered "tails", while the events which would have occUrred otherwise could be considered "heads".
CALLIOPE: since both were possible, and paradox space is the way it is, they actUally both happened. and we jUst "happened" (hee hee) to get tails instead of heads.
JOHN: you mean we ended up with the bad possibility.
CALLIOPE: not at all! since both possibilities depend on one another's existence, it really doesn't make sense to call them "right" or "wrong". they both just "are".
JOHN: o...kay...
CALLIOPE: u_u
Yeah, it’s going to take a bit more than that to convince him he didn’t make the “wrong decision”.
CALLIOPE: i realise that this may be a lot to process.
CALLIOPE: it's easy to forget that this wasn't obvioUs to everyone from the beginning.
CALLIOPE: anyway, the reason i went on this tangent in the first place was to explain that the space we are standing in right now has a special significance, in that it is the location which corresponds to the black hole's singUlarity.
JOHN: oh, wow.
JOHN: um.
JOHN: ok so, sorry if this is a dumb question to ask suddenly, but what does being inside of a black hole actually... mean for us?
JOHN: is that bad?
JOHN: is it like in movie, um,
JOHN: shoot.
JOHN: roxy what was that matthew mcconaughey movie from your earth that we watched?
ROXY: u mean interstellar
JOHN: RIGHT.
JOHN: the one with the organ.
JOHN: man. i cried at that movie so much.
ROXY: lol u can say that again
ROXY: iirc at least part of y u got so weepy was the fact that u couldnt believe a version of earth existed where ppl got 2 watch more mcconaughey films than you
JOHN: listen.
JOHN: i simply don't think you all appreciated the gift you were given.
CALLIOPE: i don't believe i'm familiar with this particular film ^u^;;
ROXY: oh dont worry cal you didnt miss much
JOHN: (gasp)
This is all gold
ROXY: but the important point is that no its not really an interstellar type situation here egbert
ROXY: ur not gonna enter a weird time vortex and change the trajectory of a little girls life with the power of love
JOHN: aw.
Dammit, now we have to be on the lookout for that possibility. Or it did sort of already happen more than once to John. ...Whatever.
CALLIOPE: to go back to your original question, john.
CALLIOPE: it's not strictly speaking "bad" for Us to be inside of a black hole, mUch thoUgh that contradicts most of what anyone knows about them.
CALLIOPE: of coUrse, if we had fallen into it, that woUld be a whole other kettle of fish.
CALLIOPE: the tidal forces woUld have stretched Us all into spaghetti and then ripped us apart!
CALLIOPE: bUt the natUre of oUr arrival was more akin to simply "being" here, sUddenly. one moment we were not, and the next moment we were, and somehow always had been.
CALLIOPE: in everyday, practical terms, being inside of a black hole has very little bearing on Us.
CALLIOPE: i mean, the natUre of space and time is a little finicky in here, bUt for the most part it doesn't seem to be anything too oUt of the ordinary.
CALLIOPE: bUt beyond that, it means that we are sealed away from the rest of existence.
CALLIOPE: oUr sphere of inflUence is limited to the sphere of the black hole's bounding horizon.
CALLIOPE: as far as everyone else is concerned, we might as well not even exist!
JOHN: is there no way we could let anyone know that we're in here...?
CALLIOPE: almost certainly not!
No? So this doesn’t have to do with the divide?
CALLIOPE: there are very few ways for anything to escape the kind of predicament that we are in right now. one of them is to be an all-powerfUl being with control over the very fabric of space, with the energy of two Universes at yoUr disposal.
CALLIOPE: in which case, escape woUld become rather trivial, if a little Unscientific.
JOHN: ok. i am going to assume that we can't just do that.
CALLIOPE: yoU've hit the nail on the head, UnfortUnately. U_U
CALLIOPE: the method i described was the one employed by my alternate self, who yoU may recall crashed through the event horizon in the body that once belonged to jade harley.
CALLIOPE: she departed through a pUnctUre she created in the black hole's surface shortly after consUming my brother, a deed which provided her with the necessary "oomph", and which was frankly rather breathtaking to watch. =u=
CALLIOPE: bUt Upon her departUre, the rift closed for good. as far as i can see, there's simply no way for Us to commUnicate with the world oUtside the black hole.
What the heck? Calliope SAW all this? Is this her Muse powers at work, letting her observe these things, or was she there? And John certainly did NOT see ANY of what Calliope just said happen.
CALLIOPE: i woUld certainly be very sUrprised to find oUt that anyone had managed sUch a thing!
So we’re going to find that out if we haven’t already. Maybe something to do with the way Vrissy just conks out narcoleptically?
JOHN: ...right.
JOHN: so... let me just get this straight.
JOHN: knowing that we're inside of a black hole... does that actually change anything?
JOHN: like, can't we just go on living like normal?
CALLIOPE: oh absolUtely not.
CALLIOPE: i don't know if yoU've noticed john bUt this world is on the brink of a total cataclysm.
JOHN: oh.
Um, what?
CALLIOPE: oUr exclUsion from the overarching coUrse of events which governs all reality means that oUr existence here is liable to dramatic and violent Upheaval.
CALLIOPE: to pUt it another way, becaUse nothing in here "matters", we are likely to be sUbjected to things which are a bit bats in the belfry, for no reason other than it's totally insignificant to the wider canon of reality.
CALLIOPE: and mUch thoUgh i am personally titillated by some of the conseqUences of this predicament, it is a degrading way for Us to live. u_u
JOHN: that's... certainly one way to put it, yeah...
No plot-armor for your entire timeline, I guess, yep. Outside of canon, we can imagine and write about ANYTHING happening to the characters, or just drop their existence entirely, much like a doomed offshoot timeline. It’s a plot stability that depended heavily on the threat of Lord English and being trapped in a story, and without it things are bound to see a BIT chaotic (or “degrading” if you view it as subjected to the whims of fanfic writers, certainly).
CALLIOPE: at first, i believed that this was simply necessary. Us playing tails to oUr coUnterparts' heads, the black to their white, and so forth.
CALLIOPE: bUt over the years i have come to the conclUsion that this is simply not kosher.
ROXY: its total bs is what it is
CALLIOPE: right, yes.
CALLIOPE: a steaming pile of bUllshite.
CALLIOPE: and so we have decided that something needs to be done aboUt it.
Ah fuck. You’re going to regulate non-canon? “Canonize” it? Is the fact that you eventually succeed at whatever it is you’re trying to do part of why we have the story presented to us in this bifurcated structure?
ROXY: this is finally where u come in jegbert
ROXY: we gots quests for yous
CALLIOPE: hee hee, yes.
CALLIOPE: or *a* quest, to be specific.
JOHN: oh boy!
ROXY: (this fkin nerd i s2g)
Roxy and Calliope setting him on this quest as a Rogue of Void and a Muse of Space feels fitting.
JOHN: i'm not sure how i can go about freeing us from a hellish space prison, but i'm up for giving it a try i guess?
JOHN: i have... literally nothing better to be doing at this point. except for maybe hanging out with harry anderson.
ROXY: nice save lol
YEAH WE’RE STILL GLOSSING OVER HOW YOU LEFT HIM UNPROTECTED, JERK
ROXY: but u dont need to worry abt busting us outta space jail tbh
ROXY: thats not ur problem to fix
JOHN: oh.
JOHN: i'm... not sure i follow, then.
ROXY: i mean yeah ur gonna obvs facilitate it in a sense
ROXY: but only by going and busting the person who can actually help us outta normal earth jail
CALLIOPE: we need yoU to free vriska from the clUtches of oUr misgUided friend jane, and bring her here, to the singUlarity.
ROXY: weve been calling it the plot point
CALLIOPE: yes, the plot point is a key part of oUr plan.
CALLIOPE: as far as we have been able to sUrmise, the only remaining method for escaping oUr grim confinement depends on leveraging the UniqUe properties of this location to create an event of sUch catalcysmic proportions that it simply cannot be contained within the black hole any more.
CALLIOPE: something SO dramatic, so hyper-relevant, that it becomes ontologically impossible for anyone to ignore it.
CALLIOPE: for that, we need an individUal of sUfficient narrative cloUt, so to speak.
CALLIOPE: and to liberate her, who better than the embodiment of the aspect of freedom itself?
CALLIOPE: ...
CALLIOPE: phew. okay, i'm finished.
CALLIOPE:
CALLIOPE: sorry, that took longer than i expected to go throUgh.
..............................
OOooooh, kay.
Whatever this is, it’s going to be really weird and PROBABLY infuriating and/or shippy, and I’m probably not going to like it. Plus it seems like it’s some sort of inverse belated canonization of some other black-hole-rescue theories I went on about at some point. Although, related to that link, “aspect of freedom” if anyone wasn’t paying attention! That’s a (sorta-)canon mention of the purpose of it!
They’re going to attention-wh-- attention-hog themselves out of the black hole so that they’re “considered canon” too, or close enough. Huh.
ROXY: what r u talking about cals that was great
ROXY: i could listen 2 u plotsplain for years
CALLIOPE: oh you >u<
ROXY: fyi this was why i wanted u to get a move on eggbread
ROXY: so callie could have more time 2 infodump
ROXY: thats love bitchhhhhh
JOHN: hahaha.
JOHN: ok, well, i think i understood all that?
Love with who? Callie, John, both?
In reality, John isn’t sure what most of this means. But on balance, it feels okay? He’s gone back and forth about a hundred times in the last week about where his place in everything is, so he might as well ride this out. Plus, the last time a Lalonde kind of told him to do something, he thinks that he chose not to, and look where that got him. And it’s not like he has other plans. He may as well do this! It’s at least going to get him involved in things again, if nothing else. He turns to go, and then hears a sound. It’s the sound of feet and knocking on doors, echoed through stone and digital static.
Oh shit. Is Andrew trapped behind some fourth walls behind the curtains.
> (==>)
Oh RIGHT also that DEVICE is where they want to bring Vriska. Are they going to overturn part of canon itself with a super-retcon thus making this timeline unbelievably relevant or--? Maybe make all the PESTERQUESTS canon or something?! I don’t know. Maybe they’re INTENTIONALLY starting the game like Vriska wanted to??????
Guh, this is something so big that I don’t WANT to theorize about it, do I.
JOHN: did you hear that?
ROXY: wha
ROXY: oh yeah uh
ROXY: i may have messaged rose and kan and jade to check on them too
ROXY: so its prob onea them showin up
ROXY: they don’t need to know bout all this tho
ROXY: we got time to chat with them b4 u go get vriska
No, even if it’s a knock at the somehow-top-level-house-even-under-buried-- oh, right, maybe it’s covering in part a monitoring system that looks up there. But still, part of that sound was DOUBTLESS these two hiding something, all standing in front of the curtain like that.
JOHN: i’ll go stall em.
ROXY: thx babe
ROXY: oh is it 2 soon for that joke or
JOHN: no, weirdly enough, that one’s fine.
ROXY: oh good ok see u up there soon!
How is calling your significant other “babe” not cool REGARDLESS of gender?! Like wasn’t that always cool? --Oh wait is it because they’re not together or... but... guh, I don’t know.
Anyway, see y’all after the holidays at least.
#Homestuck#hs2#Homestuck Liveblog#upd8#Homestuck^2#spoiler#spoilers#Roxy Lalonde#John Egbert#Calliope
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janus' playlist not-really-analysis just me screaming
so first of all this whole playlist absolutely SLAPS, its the first side playlist that's just my taste and it doesnt surprise me that it's janus' bc of course it is i am absolutely 100% more attracted to him now somehow,
im absolutely not okay and this isn't gonna be articulate in any way but i. have to.
1. black hole sun
???hes sad?? apparently its about depression with some sexy snake metaphors....maybe hes just sad in general or he misses virgil. also postmodern jukebox hell yeah
2. it seemed the better way
this feels like it could be about patton or like thinking one thing and then realizing its not true ig could be that w society in general or people...him developing his trust issues possibly "i better hold my tongue, i better take my place" or like oh the other sides hate me ig ill be a villain then...
3. anywhere
janus sanders says fuck capitalism!
4. talking at the same time
eat the rich,,,virgil left me:(
5. all the good girls go to hell
he's needed and the others are starting to realize it. hes quite smug abt it "my turn to ignore ya, don't say i didn't warn ya" damn right boy
6. denial
he blasted this song after svs while crying "please don't turn the light out, i don't think the conversation's over" he had to wait almost a year but he finally got to continue that conversation,, "i know where you'd wanna go, oh i do, but do you?"
7. trust in me
i mean yeah sexxy snake moment right here
8. razzle dazzle
so obviously its just his aesthetic tm but the lyrics...are the jabs at roman or himself, perhaps both? i never took him to be very insecure but that's a possibility
9. when the chips are down
basically his speech about society in svs and how he doesn't want thomas to be disadvantaged in it
10. mandy goes to med school
uhhh yeah who knows there's a bit of a i know what im doing jk vibe going on and Doing Harm but the thing itself is necessary to Have yknow right to abortions its just theyre not legal so hes doing them illegally and apparently two ppl died from them so not great,,"my partner brian" at the end made me think of remus tbh "hes a nice man, thoroughly reliable, he's in a rock band" kinda gives off the vibe of eh yeah hes totally reliable lmao dw tho, so basically what im taking from this is dukeceit is canon thanks for coming to my ted talk
11. i put a spell on you
i mean its definetely his Vibes but idk if its @ anyone specifically...could be virgil, could be roman, maybe thomas himself...its a vengeful kinda song, hes like fuck you you're listening to me now im done you treating me like shit
12. evil night together
so aside from this being an extremely hot song its def dukeceit vibes as in they'd both like it but the hero part as others have pointed out is giving out major roceit vibes and thomas and co know this those bastards
13. cabaret: don't tell mama
im assuming this is more of a..this is what he likes to listen to plus its about secrecy which is his thing but i guess "mama" could be someone in particular as well, and/or he could be singing it to someone in particular...
14. you're a cad
bruh. first of i loved this song already secondly iM SORRY THOMAS WHAT ARE YOY IMPLYING HERE like first i was like this isn't abt Him right that wouldn't make sense so is it about...virgil...well ofc it is bruh what the fuck bro....im loving this bc its casting virgil in an unsympathetic light and i love that shit but also its revealing janus still Feels quite a lot for him and idk how to feel abt this i. the part of me that still loves anxceit is screaming and the part of me that hates virgil is also screaming they haven't stopped for a minute-
15. as far as i can see
so dukeceit vibes possibly virgil reference since he "went down the staircase" to his spot,,so basically he and remus maybe virgil and orange too like pushing ppl down the stairs bc they feel unheard
16. criminal
this is where the angst train rly starts choo choo....so. who is he singing about here. my god i want it to be roman so bad but it Could be virgil...which would imply he thinks he's wronged him somehow which would mean virgil has a more valid reason to dislike him and I Don't Like That. but whoever hes singing about is clearly important to him... "he's all i knew of love" bro....that's just screaming virgil right i dont like it op...basically he feels guilty for smth and to be "redeemed". he clearly doesn't need redemption from his canon actions so far, and he hasn't acted like he regrets any of them, which is making me think its abt smth in his past buut maybe he does feel bad for manipulating roman now bc he realized how hurt roman was and thats what i wanna believe it's about ok roceit rights except roman youre a bitch apologise
17. change
this made me fucking lose it bro im still losing it ive lost it. he's not okay and neither am i....bro i didnt think he'd be so....insecure but....i mean all of them seem to be so...but yeah this song is very,,,i have trust issues and im learning to love again vibes and i am crying while my wig is being ripped cruelly from my head....i choose to interpret this as less like ive been bad uwu i can change and be good now and more as ive been too afraid to care bc im so aware of the harm it can do to me but i realized its worth it so im trying now....and i think that's beautiful
18. devil in the details
hes telling thomas to Just Do It. he "made amends in the general sense" but "the devil's in the details" and he "knows the cause" and "wants to stop" but he "just can't do it". this seems kinda like more virgil angsty times for me or maybe the cause is just him being...him and just being well i cant stop being my function so...but he sees it as The Reason theres still animosity even if hes "made amends".
19. come little children
first i was like bruh its a bop but y is it here. but the lyrics are basically repeating how horrible the world is, "murdering beauty and passion", and the singer doesnt have to be killing or kidnapping the kids maybe its just a friendly fae helping some abused kids yknow you never know...basically fae!janus confirmed i know you have connections with them thomas i know you do
20. into the unknown
i like that this is short it kinda feels like hes coming to say okay im done bye after this whole musical that is his playlist. i am ashamed to say im not familiar w the plot of over the garden wall but someone said smth abt killing kids. well yknow how it is sometimes...but yeah very sexy, very fae, i will stan forever etc.
#janus sanders#deceit sanders#roceit#dukeceit#sanders sides#idk bro im losing it#i love him and his music taste#basically all the songs are hot
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Okay I have slept and am signifcantly more coherent so! I do have more thoughts on the fic :] ik I should probably just comment these.... ON the fic.... but you know I’m already in this ask box so really I might as well just chill out here
I forgot to talk about it last night but I do like the mentioning of the whole Schlatt resurrection arc thing and the way it’s handled with these specific characters? Narratively you could have made Techno like ‘wait what no. don’t do that’ but in reality he WOULDN’T. It’s true that all everyone (w/ a couple exceptions) does is dictate what he’s supposed to do for them, or he gets manipulated into it, and I imagine that would be exhausting after awhile! And even IF resurrecting a dictator is, like, an objectively bad decision on Quacks’ part, it’s still his decision, isn’t it? Techno going off w/ Phil and not really siding with anyone else is a conscious decision on his part, and while it’s not like. Super explored in the fic I imagine Quackity has issues w/ his own level of control as well? Like, clearly he’s used to being bossed around for everything he does, and he wants Techno to be like Schlatt in the sense that he tells him exactly what he’s *supposed* to do, but the fact that Big Q is under the assumption that there’s an action he’s ‘supposed’ to take is flawed in the first place. This ramble got out of hand sorry I just LOVE how u portrayed this
‘“Oh? Quackity?” Philza paused, before whispering, “ The loud one with the messy wings? ”’ MDNDKDKD I LOVE U PHIL..... honestly the fact that Techno actively talks about Quackity to his dad is <3 but the fact that his biggest takeaway FROM Techno talking abt him is that he’s loud and his wings are a mess is even BIGGER <333 Techno why would you do Quackity like that
I’d LOVE to see more Philza and Quackity moments,, their dynamic is so fun (tho in a different way than Techno n Quackity’s) is and it makes me smile to read back over their stuff :] I love how Phil does get a significant amt of fun in fucking with Big Q (truly, like father like son) but still very clearly approves of him as a person? Like, I imagine Quackity isn’t really all that sure how Phil feels about him. ‘I’m pretty sure your dad hates me, dude.’ ‘What are you talking about?’ Techno asks, bewildered, ‘I’ve never seen him obviously like anyone this fast.’ Like, Phil would make it pretty obvious if he didn’t, I think? The man can be much scarier than what Quackers got rly it’s a blessing. I could probably rant abt their dynamic more but I’m a sane person I promise lol </3
Small thing but honestly with the way Techno clearly constantly takes care of Big Q’s wings for him bc he’d prefer to do it himself and then PHIL doing it I’m starting 2 think Quackity just. Doesn’t know how to groom his own wings. Like Techno he’s not a baby bird he should do it himself. But also... I care them :,] the fact that Techno can take care of Q’s wings and Quackity can braid Techno’s hair and they trust each other w/ that... I know the reasons for it are obvious bc Quackity trusts easily and Techno clearly doesn’t see Big Q as someone who could be a threat but it’s still making me soft,,
The little impromptu therapy make-up session was a rly good display of both of their characters :] Quackity’s awful at handling like, any tension whatsoever with anyone so him taking way less than a day to go ‘hhhrhdh can we talk it out’ even tho he hates talking about feelings? Like he’s making an attempt at maturity and Techno’s going w/ it even thi neither of them are really comfortable with all that :] they value their friendship sm no one talk to me
Also I agree w/ u on the Techno characterization thing! Techno can definitely do jokes and drop the serious murder man act every once in awhile but the way he plays his character is v like. Blunt in everything. He doesn’t rly lash out, his ideals are consistent, and even when he’s planning chaotic attacks on other people nothing abt the way he acts really changes it’s just,, Techno but you should probably run away rn. His personality rly should be given more kudos it’s lovely
This didn’t rly fit anywhere else in the ramble but I do love how clearly nervous the ppl in Techno’s family make Quackity. Like, it’s a little different w/ Tommy n Tubbo but they’re also? Literal children? And even Tommy has that ‘tall scary child’ vibe abt him whenever he gets worked up LMAO Like, you have Mr. Blade, who is very strong and could DEFINITELY kill you if he wanted to, Wilbur, who is a dramatic theatre kid but once he goes off the deep end it’s like. You might be able to take him in a fight but if he wants you dead he REALLY wants you dead, and Phil, who the other two clearly got the feral part of their personalities from and somehow manages to be even scarier despite the fact that he’s an all-around polite guy. Quackity is just a normal anxious dude can he please go five minutes w/o coming face-to-face with another generally terrifying figure in his life who could kill him easily but won’t bc he’s so small?? I love them :] u rly do have a good eye for dynamics!
Also I’m proud of u for sleeping the normal 8 hours!! But Xena :pensive: ma’am please get some rest it’s very important >:[
- Saturn 🪐
,mjxcnvm,vxnvfkdjf ilysm i love getting your thoughts heart FULL
- IM GLAD THE ‘BEING TOLD WHAT TO DO’ PART CAME ACROSS WELL I WAS REALLY WORRIED I DIDNT ARTICULATE IT GOOD ENOUGH :D
- noone: -- Techno: is anyone gonna bully quackity-;; i didnt consider the implications of philza knowing quackity bc hes loud and needs his wings groomed but now that youve brought this to light im KDSFKJDSFDLSKFJDSLKJFDS
- ALSO I WAS REALLY WORRIED ABT THE PHILZA PARTS IDK IF I SAID THAT BEFORE ADDING HIM TO THE STORY WAS KIND OF A RANDOM DECISION ALSKDJFLKSDJ
xenas last comment was the nail in the coffin when it came to adding phil oh my god alsdjkflsdkjfslkdfj
- “ they value their friendship sm no one talk to me “ Y E S;;; idk im really into character dynamics thats like “listen we need to figure it out i cant live like this ok” also characters who are just Bad at talking about their feelings are Good and Important To Me LKDJFLSKJFDSLKJF
- “ his didn’t rly fit anywhere else in the ramble but I do love how clearly nervous the ppl in Techno’s family make Quackity. “ YOURE MAKING ME WANT TO WRITE MORE SBI FAMILY DYNAMICS WITH QUACKITY IM ALSKJFASLDKFSDLKFJSDFK IF YOU (or anyone) HAVE ANY THOUGHTS OR PROMPTS HIT ME THE FUCK UP
- “ u rly do have a good eye for dynamics! “
I TRY REALLY HARD OK;;; character relationships are like . priority number one for me and it makes my heart so incredibly full when people point out that they like my dynamics ok i try so hard--
also im devastated to announce that for some reason last night me and xena apparently switched sleep schedules, she slept for a reasonable amount of time and i slept for like four hours lkajdflksjfdlksdfjsdlkjf sometimes i wake up at 5am and my brain refuses to let me sleep again </3
#long post#just in case#ilysm saturn please continue to dump in my askbox ilysm you dont even understand how excited i get aslkdfjlksdfjlsdfkj#saturn anon#heart FULL
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Review for Trish’s Dream Fic
Trish ( @couragedontdesertme ) said she’d write an epilogue of the elsarik dream Fic if I made a Formal Review of the elsarik dream fic. So here we are.
Please note review should be taken VERY LIGHTLY this is more or less me re-reading the Fic and loudly yelling about things with too many exclamation points. Enjoy Trish.
Ch1
First of all imagine my fucking surprise I didn’t even know you had gotten work done on the dream fic???? Here I was thinking the link you sent me was the next chapter of city of ice and then I click on it and it saYS DREAM FIC???? E X C U S E M E oh my goodness
The first section is just so entirely domestic and beautiful and you can tell how lived in and content they are in their life as roommates. ALARIK (listen my phone autocorrects ALARIK to be in all caps and I’m too lazy to fix it so y’all are gonna have to deal with reading ALARIK’s name as if I’m yelling it every time I type it) anyway ALARIK just bringing her the chocolate croissants she loves so dearly and Elsa curling up with a book and him fretting and worrying over her being there alone all day and later... it’s just SO DOMESTIC. it’s such a small short moment but it’s so domestic and a perfect opposite of the PAIN THAT HAPPENS AFTER!!! And we al know I LOVE READING PAIN
The fact that ALARIK was only home late because he was doing tutoring to earn more money to by Elsa A PRESENT????? Shut up no one speak to me that’s true love but also PAINFUL the guilt he must feel oh my god
Elsa...stops struggling... because she doesn’t want ,,,, ALARIK ,,,, to get hurt. Because she cares for his safety more than her own because he has protected her and he is her friend and she loves him I am going to SCREAM
The fact that you use the phrase ~marching her out of the warmth of the room~ when she just used her magic to like cover the walls in frost makes my Heart burst cause idk if it was intentional or not but I just love the thought that this room has become Home to her it’s become safe and beautiful and lovely and WARM because it is full of love and friendship and companionship rather than the cold loneliness of say her ice palace of her locked room as a child. I like to think Elsa could have covered the room entirely in ice and snow and frost and it would still feel warm to her because of the love that’s developed there thank you for coming to my tedtalk
Ugh fuck hans
I have literally no words other than fuck hans for any section with hans in it I DONT even want to RECOGNIZE THAT HE EXISTS !!! Making Elsa feel like she’s nothing I am going to punch him in the eye
~ALARIK weeps over smushed chocolate croissant. End scene~
I know that it’s such a heartbreaking sad ending for that first chapter but also I really can’t stop laughing about him crying over a stepped on croissant since I know that your like planning note for that last scene was literally just some variant of ALARIK cried over a smushed croissant and that’s just such a funny IMAGE TO ME EVEN THOUGH ITS SAD
I just like to imagine ALARIK cradling the chocolate croissant in his arms like a bébé as he sobs
Ch2
I’m fucking S A D
ALARIK having like NO MONEY and just thinking about that the money he has was going to go to a gift for Elsa and the guard LAUGHING AT HIM LIKE THATS IT THATS ALL YOU HAVE?? Like shut UP HES TRYING TO SAVE HIS BELOVED
P e t t y c h a n g e HE IS TRYING MR GUARD I WILL HAVE YOU KNOW HE WORKED EXTRA TO GET THAT MONEY
ALARIK is so fucking DEVOTED I’m going to run through a goddamn wall I cannot cope. Willing to sell the clothes off his back have you ever seen an idiot more iN LOVE
ALARIK just going willingly cause he has no fight left in him and he just wants to see Elsa even if it means he gets imprisoned too oh my GOD
THE SCENE ITS THE SCENE!!!!!!!!!
STRAIGHT FROM TRISH’S SUBCONSCIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WHAT STARTED IT ALL!!!!!!!!!!
ALARIK wanting to hold her hands when her hands are what are chained up and seen as dangerous and what ~make her a witch~ the absolute love and power that holds.
LET ALARIK AND ELSA HOLD HANDS
“I promised to keep you safe” the pain I feel oh mY GOD
“They’ll KILL you” they’re really out here trying to protect each other at all costs oh my god nothing matters more to the other than keeping the other safe and for that I want to cry and love them and also I want to ram their heads into the wall because wHY WONT THEY JUST PROTECT ESCH OTHER TOGETHER
The PARALLEL OH MY FUCKING GOD
the P A R A L L E L of ALARIK stilling and no longer struggling when the guards threaten Elsa’s death in the same way that Elsa stilled and stopped struggling when they threatened ALARIK’s death oh my god that broke me right there
U g h hans fuck that guy
A N N A !!!!!!!!
When I first read this,,, I DONT know why??? But for some reason??? I didn’t think Anna would be in it???? Which like thinking back on that it makes no sense of COURSE Anna would be in the FIC why would I ever think otherwise. But anyway I was so surprised when she showed up I literally gasped and went ANNA??? Out loud because I was so shocked
ALFAFA GERANIUM
ALARIK really is just so bad under pressure who thought this was a good idea
AG FOR SHORT wink wink nudge nudge cough cough
I’ll be thinking about ALARIK shouting alfafa geranium on my death bed let us never forget
“No harm, no foul” is literally the most fucking Anna line I’ve ever heard. She absolutely would say that to someone who was being question for a crime she’d be like “it’s not biggy”
Why is it that when hans says “BUT ANNA!!!” I hear it like he’s wining like a petulant child I read it like “bUT annNNAAAAA” ugh I hate him
“Don’t scream” *ALARIK’s inner monologue* “this ,, is the story of how I died”
ILL HELP YOU HELP HER ESCAPE!!!!! HELL YEA YOU WILL ANNA HELL YEA YOU WILL
Ch3
My dumbass really went “why are none of the children named neta” before remembering that is the child of Anna and Kristoff and these...are the children of Anna ,,, and .... ugh please don’t make me say his name
I would die for these kids though I love them and I want to protect them at all costs 
Johannes at 5 (and a half!!!!) being a fine soldier GOOD FOR HIM
Isak owns my entire heart from the moment he started fake crying for his mother what a star performer a true Actor he’s too good
Arendellian Royal Guards, are they guards? Or are they simply baby sitters? The world may never know
JOAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! One of the babies being named JOAN!!! Hang in there Joan!!!!!!!!! That made me cry oh my god J O A N
Bébé Isak lookout supreme with his big eyeballs and smile and goofy lil salute I love him
The fact that Elsa says she felt stupid for being lured into a false sense of security means she felt secure and safe for literally the first time since she was a child when she was with ALARIK and I cannot properly articulate how much that made me cry I love that so much that has to mean sO MUCH TO HER oh my god
“You have to get out!! Do the magic!!” NO ONE SPEAK TO ME ABOUT ANYTHING EXCEPT THIS LINE FOR THE NEXT SEVERAL MONTHS I LITERALLY WEPT
the use of DO THE MAGIC oh my god AND ELSAS HEART LIKE BREAKING BECAUSE SHE FEELS LIKE SHE CANT
DO ! THE ! MAGIC !
Brave little boy with his mother’s determination saying “be brave. That’s what mama said to tell you” oh my GOD THESE CHILDREN HAVE MY WHOLE HEART OH MY GOD
A rooster crow for the signal COUKD they be more obvious I love these kids they’re ridiculous they are truly the children of Anna
Elsa!!! Chose!! To be!!! Brave!!!
IF SHE TRIED TO SAY GOODBYE TO ELSA!!! SHE MAY NEVER LET GO!!!
SHE HAD NO WHERE TO GO!!! BUT SHE DOES BEVAUSE THERES ALARIK WAITING FOR HER BECAUSE GUESS WHAT
ALARIK IS HER HOME !!!!! HE IS HER HOME !!!! SHE CAN GO TO HIM!!!!
Queue another one of my shocked and delightfully surprised screams as I shouted KRISTOFF????? Because blonde dude driving a reindeer cart
Let’s get you somewhere safe I’m going to cry THEYRE finally together again and they can keep each other safe together as. They. Should.
They are cuddling and my heart is exploding oh my god ALARIK seems so surprised like you big dumb idiot you’re both in love with each other it’s a mutual thing get with the program
SLEEP ELSA! ITS GOING TO BE OKAY! AND FOR THE FIRST TIME IN PROBABLY FOREVER! IT WILL BE!
Ch4
*queue another gasp* there’s only one bed?????
Yea I saw it coming yea I was just as shocked even so yea I got very excited about it wHAT DID YOU EXPECT
They’re cUDDLING and he went to move away and she DOESNT WANT HIM TO they could’ve been sharing a bed THIS WHOLE TIME AND I JUST WANT TO SCREAM BECAUSE OBVIOUSLY
ALARIK laying all the credit on kristoff and the kids when he’s kind of the one that steamrolled the whole plan into happening because he’s the one who showed up ALARIK please give yourself more credit
“You came back” “of course I came back... I couldnt ...” “why?” And then ALARIK refusing to meet her eyes has me absolutely weeping this is the kind of shit I THRIVE ON this is truly a gift to us all everyone say thank you Trish for these three bits of dialogue I will be thinking about them for all my days
ELSA KISSED HIM!!!!!!!!!
Yeah I do lose my shit anytime Elsa is the one to make the first move you go girl you go
THE SPICE VENDOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Bringing in all my favorites I am going to cry thank you Trish I love Darius
I SUPPOSE YOU TWO HAVE FINALLY GOTTEN MARRIED
listen I SCREAMED WHEN HE SAID THAT I SQUAWKED!!!! MARRIED!!!!!!
I had been observing you two and just assumed!!!!! You would assume right mr spice vendor sir if they WERENT so stupid for so long it’s okay we understand
WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE ??? And Elsa says MARRY US? And ALARIK is going to PASS THE FUCK OUT
He literally got to finally kiss the woman he’s in love with for the first time last night and now they’re getting married poor boy is going to get WHIPLASH from how fast things are progressing but it’s okay im sure he is happy
Elsa’s little vows of just needing each other and keeping each other safe and keeping company and not needing gold or silver ugh TRUE LOVE
And ALARIK hopelessly devoted to her being like I PROMISE
“just you being there no matter what is enough” peak romance true love the devotion the dedication I’m a wreck
LE SMOOCH! LE MARRIAGE! INCREDIBLE I LOVE THEM
~end review~
Okay where is my epilogue please and thank you
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Surprises
Day One: Accidental Bonding and Creature Stiles
Ao3 Link| Words: 2601| for @steterweek
The first thing stiles hears outside of his own mind is a deep velvet voice saying, "Here take this."
He didn't know what "this" was but he attempted to reach out with an open hand to take whatever it was. He tried to open his eyes but every time he did pain shot through his entire body.
"I don't think" a pause to catch his breath and wet his lips, "I can stand."
The words had come out coarse and stuttering, but Stiles had fought to get them out and he would be damned if after all these years his words failed him too.
"Here."
The voice was the same that offered him the soft cloth in his hands. He had rubbed the cloth between his fingers enough to piece together that it was a large shirt. The collar of which was in a large V shape. Adding that knowledge to hearing that deep velvet again was all Stiles needed.
"Peter?"
"Yes, pet, I'm here. So are Scott, Lydia, Derek, and Melissa. We're all here with you." Peter spoke with a softness Stiles had not heard from him in a long time.
Those words with that tone made Stiles want to curl up and whine while someone scratched his ears.
"What the fuck?" The words slipped quietly through his cracked lips.
He slowly reached up and touched his head. He felt nothing but sweat drenched hair until his fingers touched something soft and furry which also made his ears twitch.
He had ears, soft furry animal ears. What happened to his body when the nogitsune left? Was this a dream? What if the nogitsune was still in his mind messing with him? What if none of this was real? Oh God how could he still be stuck in his own mind after the pain and torture of kicking that demon from his body? Was that all a lie? A trick?
Suddenly someone had him by the back of his neck and was rocking them as they let out a low soothing rumble. He sniffed and was surprised to smell Peter again and not one of the others.
"Breathe Stiles. Count your fingers on my arms if you need to. You're here, darling. Awake and alive." Peter's words were soft soothing whispers as he rocked them side to side.
Stiles found himself slumping against Peter the best he could with his eyes still screwed shut.
"What happened to me when it left? Peter what am I?" Stiles cracked his eyes open just enough to look at the werewolf holding him.
"Beautiful." Peter's whisper was drowned out by Scott declaring that he didn't care what Stiles was now he was still his best friend.
Stiles had heard Peter though thanks to his new hearing capabilities.
"Come here sweet boy and let me look you over." Melissa's voice called out to him and he nodded.
He tried to take a step in the direction he heard her voice coming from but stumbled the moment Peter let go of him. Luckily Peter caught him with a hand on his arm at the same time Scott grabbed his other arm. Scott guided Stiles back over to the couch and sat him down gently so Melissa could look over him.
"Why does it hurt so bad to open my eyes? Everything is too bright it hurts." Stiles let out a high pitch whine he didn't realize was humanly possible.
He wasn't a human anymore so it probably wasn't humanly possible.
"You haven't adjusted to your new senses." Derek's voice was just as even and assertive as usual but there was a note to it that made Stiles uneasy.
"Give me a second to see what other senses I do have." Stiles demanded more than asked.
He sniffed the air but other than each of their scents he couldn't smell anything else that he couldn't before. He couldn't smell their emotions or smell what one of them had eaten recently like he had heard the other shifters complain about.
Smelling their scents was new and an odd sensation. Derek smelled like the Preserve on a rainy day, chocolate ice cream, and mint. Melissa was harder to figure because of the perfume she was wearing, but Stiles could smell lavender, and vanilla but also a strong hit of lemon. Scott was all oatmeal raisin cookies, brown sugar, and underneath those sweet smells was a metallic tang.
Those were the three closest to him, though he could still smell Lydia's clean linen and rotting flowers. That one really caught him off guard, though it must be because she's a banshee. Peter's was harder to articulate, the warmth of a soft blanket added with cinnamon, the way everything smelled the day after a storm, and something else Stiles couldn't place at all. That something else was like a drug, he found himself subconsciously leaning towards Peter to smell it more clearly until he realized how weird that must look.
So instead of asking Peter why he smelled like that Stiles canted his head to the left, his right ear twitching as he let in all the sound around him. Six heart beats, six puffs of breath, countless birds in the Preserve out back, and the noises of people moving in the houses all around them. Stiles had struggled with ADHD his whole life, and shutting out outside noises was almost easy by now, so he simply focused on the sounds in his immediate proximity and calmed his heart rate as best he could.
"I'm going to open my eyes now. Can you guys make sure the lights are off?"
"They've been off the whole time darling but we will try to block the light from the windows as best we can." Peter assured him.
Stiles was getting anxious again with the knowledge that the lights haven't been on and everything was still so bright it hurt, but he had to try.
"Okay. I'm going to open them now."
He slowly cracked them open with his head facing the floor. Nothing was bright down there so far. He could see his feet and the feet of the other five people surrounding him so he slowly lifted his head higher. The room was almost pitch black but Stiles could see everyone clearly. Finally he reached eye level with everyone and went to give a cheer when bright dazzling colors erupted from all around each person.
Stiles whine again and closed his eyes tight.
"Stiles your eyes are different. They're bright yellow." Scott breathed.
"Like a beta?"
"No. Like Kira's but more yellow than orangeish red." Derek elaborated Scott's revelation.
"Guys am I a kitsune? Did it make me into another nogitsune?" Stiles tried to keep himself from panicking but what was he going to do if he turned out to be as evil as a nogitsune?
Again Peter gripped the back of his neck somehow comforting him despite the roughness of the move.
"You're not a nogitsune. You are something new. Something different. Why did it only hurt you to keep your eyes open when you looked at our faces?"
Something new? Something different? Stiles didn't want to be new or different he wanted to go back to the way things were before Scott had been bitten. He wanted his dad.
"Has anyone called my dad?"
"Yes honey. He's on his way." Melissa informed him.
"Okay. Okay that's good. And uh Peter? I'm not sure what happened but when I looked at your faces colors exploded all around each of you. Different colors of all shades and images too. Like there was a scale balance by Derek and a mans hand with a wedding band on his finger next to Melissa." Stiles took a steadying breath, "what does that mean?"
"Everyone step behind Stiles please."
"What? Why would we do that?" Scott asked petulantly.
"Because he can't open his eyes when six people's auras are right in his face. Step behind him so you aren't in his line of sight." Peter sounded like he was grinding his teeth as he explained.
"He sounds like he knows what's going on. Just listen to him Scotty." Stiles breathed, exhausted and ready to get this over with.
"They're all behind you now, pet. Look at me and describe what you see." Peter's voice was so soothing Stiles couldn't help but do as he asked.
The moment Stiles' eyes locked onto Peter's his aura opened up around him.
"There are colors in certain spots but all around you is a swirl of dark red, bright red, and orange red. There's a black arch over your head that feels like pain. Right in the middle of your stomach is a burst of bright yellow. There's a light blue spot on your throat. Over your heart is a yellow green burst with dark green swirls. What about the images?" Stiles kept his eyes open despite the brightness of Peter's aura, he couldn't walk around with his eyes closed forever.
"Good job darling. Don't worry about the images for right now. They stop when the auras go away so ignore them. We're gonna add another. Are you ready?" Peter sounded so proud Stiles didn't even have to think before he was nodding.
"Melissa please come join me."
Slowly Melissa made her way into Stiles vision.
"Before you look at her I want you to picture a radio. Look at my aura and picture yourself turning the volume knob down. Keep picturing it until my aura dims." Peter spoke with calm assurance and Stiles was compelled once again to follow his words.
He pictured a radio and focused on it and Peter's aura as he pictured the knob turning the volume down.
"It's working." Stiles gasped, sweat beading up on his brow.
"Good boy. You're doing great. Now look at Melissa's. Hers shouldn't be as bright as mine was because she's not a supernatural being. She should be easier to look at." Peter sounded so pleased Stiles grinned at him before turning his attention to Melissa.
"Hi honey. You're doing great but if it's too much just close your eyes okay?" She'd always been a second mother to him and she always would be, but Stiles had to do this and he had to do this now.
Melissa's aura was slower to spread out and not as vibrant or pulsing as Peter's. She was rainbow colored all over. Every single spot had a beautiful array of colors. But her hands and heart were bright rainbow bursts.
"She's a rainbow." Stiles breathed out amazed at the difference and beauty of Melissa's aura.
"I had figured as much. She's a healer all the way to her soul. Are her hands brighter rainbows than everywhere else?" Peter inquired.
"Yes. But her heart is also as bright."
"Ah. That means she's got a pure healers heart. But we already knew that didn't we?" Peter asked, mirth clear in his voice.
Stiles smiled at her and at Peter, "I've known that my whole life."
Melissa started tearing up and it was making the burst around her heart brighter and pulsing stronger. So Stiles pictured the radio and turned her down.
"Okay guys I think I'm ready for everyone at once."
Derek, Lydia, and Scott came around and entered his sight with bursts of their own auras. They were so bright standing together that Stiles almost closed his eyes again. But he caught Peter's pleased scent and pictured a radio, this time not for a specific aura but for his own abilities and dialed it down until he could only see a faint glow around them and nothing from Melissa.
"I think I've got a handle on it!" Stiles declared with a bright grin despite his aches and over all weariness.
"Got a handle on what?" The sheriff asked as he made his way into the living room.
Before anyone could speak he gasped, "Son. What is going on? What happened to you?"
-
Stiles found himself in front of an apartment door in a building he'd never been to before in a part of town he couldn't afford to shop or eat in with no idea how he'd gotten there. The last thing he remembers is telling his dad goodnight and that he loved him. He went to bed and woke up here, wherever here was.
"Stiles?" Something about the scent and the roughness of a usually smooth velvet voice cause a shiver of arousal to take over Stiles' body.
"Peter why am I here?"
Peter looked at him a moment before opening the door wider. Stiles took a moment to not only check out Peter's apartment but also the man in the doorway. Peter was standing with his hands in his soft gray pajama bottoms pockets. His chest was freckled and hairy, his hair messy and soft looking. And Stiles was getting an erection just from looking at him.
"I had noticed the bond back at the house but I did not think it would affect you like this." Peter sighed.
"Bond? Is that why I know you're pleased but wary?" Stiles asked, placing a hand on the warm spot in his chest that hummed for Peter.
"You were always my favorite. And you're quick wit is definitely one reason why, pet." Peter breathed, a smirk replacing the slight frown he had been wearing.
Stiles shivered again at the name, "Peter what's happening? Why do I want to jump you more than usual?"
Peter had looked guilty at first then delightfully pleased, "More than usual, huh? Good to know. What's happening dear boy is we have accidentally initiated a mating bond."
Stiles had to take calming breaths to not jump him right then and there, but what Peter was saying was important and he needed to focus.
"A mating bond? But doesn't that take an exchanging of gifts and bending of wills?"
"I do so love that brain of yours. Yes it does and yes we did do those things. You're wearing my shirt right now darling. And you followed my directions to the letter all day. Add to that the attraction we already shared and the mating bond snaps into place." Peter grinned at him like the cat that caught the mouse, or the wolf that caught his mate.
"Well it smells good. And I thought the bond doesn't snap into place until you have sex?" Stiles forced himself to say it strongly, to not give into his desire to eat Peter up right then and there.
"Very true. But I imagine that's why you walked here in your sleep and why you're about to burst out of those adorable boxers." Peter purred as he backed Stiles against the closest wall.
Stiles looked at his erection almost poking through the hole in his Batman boxers. That obviously was why his body brought him here, but was his mind and heart ready to mate with Peter Hale too?
"I need a minute to catch up to my body." Stiles spoke with the assurance that Peter would step back, and smiled at the man when he did.
Did he love Peter? Maybe not. But he'd been the only one to help Stiles today. The only one to help Stiles through so much he hadn't even noticed. The only one to pay attention and listen to him no matter the circumstance. It was why he had been harboring a crush on the werewolf for months. The mating bond wouldn't have solidified if they weren't well matched and their feelings not reciprocated.
"Okay, Peter. I'm in. All the way."
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trying to articulate enough words to make a post here without sounding like a total idiot like always. dont wanna make this sound like i pity myself or like im all over the place and cant form a concise thought. i just think that all this time i should have stopped self sacrificing and grew up a little. and been less embarrassed of myself and my whole existence. i feel like not knowing any of these things and then trying to be self reflective is a fucking joke. how can you be self reflective when you don’t even have your own identity and have everyone elses on top of yours. it’s just a joke how people can do that to you and then wonder why you are the way that you are. wonder why you cant remember your life or even form a string of thoughts about yourself to explain why you do the things you do. all i do is zone out and try to not get on peoples nerves or i end up doing that thing where i get completely robotic and frantically try to solve all their problems and if i dont im automatically a failure. i always fear that im coming off way too emotionally invested in everyones life or it seems like im completely shut off from the situation. i cant seem to find a way to be like normal. i know everything that happens cant actually be my fault or cant be put on me but oh my god it is. it just is. and i just feel ashamed of that. also please dont say to me that i should live my life for myself because i think that is so selfish of me to do. i havent exactly figured out why that is. i have a lot of thoughts about why i do this but at this point i dont care because i know if i found out it would just be a whole other thing for me to go psycho about.
I know this sounds very conceited to be going on about myself like this. i already have a very long list of things that i and other people see as failures in my whole make up as a human being. im just tired of everything but mostly myself. god im rambling. im gonna cut myself off right now. i know i talk about the same problems that i have over and over again and i hate it too but i just feel like people misunderstand me constantly to the point where if i dont ramble i wont ever get my point across. also the fact that anytime im talking i am constantly interrupted or told no and im pretty sure that’s why i talk so fast and stumble over my words or forget what im saying in the middle of talking because im waiting for the person to cut me off. But ultimately I think it just comes down to everyone else’s experiences and how they relate to you even if they really can’t. I also know that our own experience will shape how we see ourselves and how we see others....and how we think others will see us. It’s very complicated but it just goes back and forth back and forth forever. I would just like to exist for once without all that bullshit. I spend so much time on it. So much time feeling humiliated by the world and of myself. And it just fucking sucks that people can reduce you down to whatever they want because that’s just what they wanna do. And there’s nothing that I can do to make them think otherwise. But I keep trying to convince everyone. just keep trying to prove myself to everyone around me. always begging everyone to see me and to not think of me a certain way. i hate that about myself. i just want people to like me. i don’t wanna be a bad person for that.
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Chicago - 1923
It was a cold, crisp evening in February. The snow blew in the harsh wind, cutting the skin like a knife. Women struggled to trudge up the sidewalk, turning up the collars of their fur coats over their eyes.
Ian Carter, from the comfort of his automobile, laughed as he lit up a cigar. “Ya’ imagine walkin’ in this, Chet?” he asked one of his goons.
“Ech. No way...” The sleazy right-hand shook his head.
“Come on boss,” said his driver. “Don’t ya’ feel a little sorry for em’?”
“I aint got no sympathy for a dame in a mink coat. She can afford not to walk, she’s just too stupid. Or proud... I’ll tell ya’ who I feel sorry for... Them,” He pointed out the window. A handful of people stood at the corner. This particular corner was well known to a certain segment of society. “Hookers and Gunsels... Them’s the ones with no choice.”
“Ya’ got a big heart, boss.”
“I do. Don’t I?” Ian agreed, leaning back in his seat. “Speaking of my big heart, after dinner I’ve got a certain act of, uhh, charity... I wanna conduct over on 11th. If you know what I mean.”
------
“Don’t I know you from somewhere?”
“I’m sure you don’t....” Max answered, a little more snippy then he intended. He hated cleaning up after these drunks! But he knew he had to help with the family business... And earn money other ways... Prohibition had not been kind to his family. His grandfather’s Australian style pub had been a huge hit when he’d first come over, but the outlawing of alcohol had nearly sent them all to the poor house. Max had been wearing the same stained old work shirt for a year now. Maybe longer. And those thugs... Those thugs who sold his father hooch at jacked up prices and threatened him and skimmed his earnings...! Those dogs got to live the high life! It made Max’s blood boil! He didn’t even notice how rough he was suddenly scrubbing the table. Shaking his head, he threw the rag back into the bucket and went to get some clean water.
As he was filling his bucket, he heard a sudden commotion. He raced out from the back. It was those goons! Coming to threaten his father again. “Hey!” Max called. “Leave him alone!” He tried pulling his dad back, out of their grip but it was no use.
“Max, please, stay out of this...” His father begged.
“No! I’m not gonna let them hurt you again!”
“Ya’ think yer tough, daffy boy?” One goon asks. Max was about to make a smart remark when he found his face inches away from the end of a switchblade.
“Don’t!” His father cried.
Max was just frozen in place.
------
“Oh Man! That was some good corn!”
“Right here,” Ian instructed his driver. “I want this place for myself...” He adjusted his jacket before stepping inside. His chest puffed out and his men on either side of him. He didn’t expect to step into the middle of a commotion.
“Hey!” he shouted. His loud booming voice enough to intimidate the two goons.
“Shit...” One mumbled.
“Hey...” The other spoke up. “This place is Vinny’s territory.”
“Not anymore it aint. Now make tracks. Unless the two of you want a couple of Chicago overcoats, huh?”
“Vinny’ll hear about this...” One threatened as they left.
“Yeah. Tell him all about it...” Ian turned back to the owner. “You okay?”
The younger one, he just shook his head and looked down.
“What kid, no thank you?” Ian teased. But the boy turned around and walked away.
Max just wanted all of these types of people out of his life. Though he knew that was impossible as long as his family was on the wrong side of the law. He sat down at an empty table. Running his hands through his hair, he let out a deep exhale. He took a cigarette from his pocket and placed it between his lips. But as luck would have it, he was out of matches.
“Need a light?”
Max looked up. It was him. “Go away.”
Ian didn’t respond. As usual, Ian did what he pleased. Taking a seat beside Max he lit his cigarette for him with his lighter.
Max took a puff, raising an irritated eyebrow at the man. The smoke billowing around his delicate features.
“Look,” Ian said. “I just wanna talk to you.”
“Well, I don’t wanna talk to you.”
“Don’t I know you from somewhere?”
Max’s face fell. “No,” he hissed in a stern voice.
“Sure I do,” Ian went on. Flashing his famous smile. “Up on the street corner. I wouldn’t forget a pretty face like yours.”
Max clenched his teeth, narrowing his eyes at Ian. “You’re making fun of me!?” He slammed his hand down on the table. “That how rich cunts get their kicks?”
“No, no. You’ve got me all wrong.” Ian placed his hand over Max’s. “It’s not like that. I just mean, you work so hard. For your family. I wanna help you.”
“Help me? I don’t...”
“Look. I know Vinny cut your pops a bad deal. Sendin’ his chopper squad around here. And, well... I just can’t stand to see human suffering.”
Max rolled his eyes. “Sure...”
“What do you charge up there? 25? 30 cents a go?”
“Kick off...!” Max pulled his hand away, his voice cracking.
Shit... Ian wasn’t trying to upset the little daisy.... “Hey, hey. Shh.. Shh...” He grabbed the spindle of Max’s chair with one hand and pulled it closer. Their two seats now practically touching. “I’m just saying, you shouldn’t have to do that.”
“Why the hell would you care!?” Max shouted in a whisper. Obviously this was not the kind of conversation he wanted anyone to overhear.
“Because...” Ian’s eyes shifted back and forth. He looked around the room before leaning in closer. His own voice dropping to a whisper as well. “What’s your name?”
“Max...” he whispered back. Still annoyed, but confused on top of it.
“Max...” Ian leaned in closer. Whispering softly into Max’s ear. “You’re hiding something... Well, so am I...” He ran his hand up Max’s thigh, causing him to jump. He squeezed it, less than an inch away from touching his crotch. Max’s breath hitched in his throat. “More than just how you bring in the dough... Am I onto something...?”
Max didn’t answer.
“You got thoughts in your head. And feelings. And you try and hide em’. But it’s hard, aint it Max?” Ian’s soft whisper. His breath against his ear. It made the hair on the back of his neck stand up. He bit down on his lip. “I’m the same way...” Max’s dick twitched. He cursed himself silently. Crossing his legs, Ian retracted his hand.
“W-what are you going on about....?”
“I want to make you an offer.”
“What...?” He turned to look at him.
“How would you like to never work again? What if you could have everything you ever wanted? Just come home with me. You’ll have everything you could ever need.”
Max’s eyes studied Ian for a moment, before he pursed his lips and leaned away. “I am not interested in being your sex slave.”
“No,” Ian laughed. “Dollface. Ya’ got it all wrong. You don’t gotta do anything. You don’t even have to touch me.”
Max raised an eyebrow. He couldn’t make sense of this guy. Nothing in this world was for free. Max had learned that long ago.
“I just want someone around. Someone I can relate to. To talk to... To... Look at... To...” He struggled to articulate it. “...Keep me company.”
“That’s really all you want...?”
“Swear to God.”
Max was silent for a moment. He seriously considered the man’s offer. Who didn’t want to live the high life? Be one of the lucky ones? Of course it was tempting... But these were thugs. They were dangerous. And if Max had learned anything it was that they were not to be trusted. And besides... “My family needs me.”
“You’re family’ll be safer than they ever were before.”
“How so?”
“Look. That’s what I came here for in the first place. This speakeasy here. This is valuable territory to me. I want it. And that’s all I want. Me and my boys will protect your family. And we’ll give em’ a fair price on the merchandise. And I don’t need no cut.”
“Well, I find that all a little hard to believe.”
“Max. All I’m interested in is taking this place out of the control of that putz. That’s my only motivation.”
“Oh really? It seemed more like you were here to chat me up.”
“You? Nah. You’re just a little bonus,” Ian flashed him that smile of his again. “You in or...”
“Well... I...”
“You look awful hungry. You know I just had this real nice steak and toast. But hell... I could eat again...”
Max frowned. What a sleeze-ball. Max lived entirely off of soup. And even that had been tight lately.... This guy was using everything he could against him. But... What an offer... He could only imagine the way these guys ate. And did he really mean that? He wouldn’t have to touch him? Not do anything at all? It didn’t make any sense. He couldn’t really just be lonely. What if this was all some kind of trick? What if they killed him? Max couldn’t really think of any reason they would have to do that. But these were thugs. Maybe they just got their jollies off that way. But then again... Ian hadn’t hurt anyone... He hadn’t threatened anyone. Maybe Max had them pegged all wrong. After all, he and his family made their money illegally too... Besides. Going home to a leftover pot of broth was not appealing. He couldn’t live in regret over such an oppurtunity. Even if Ian was a phoney, he could at least see for himself. “Umm... Well... Maybe I’ll give it a go. A small go. But if I change my mind... You’ve gotta bring me right back home. As soon as I ask, got it?”
“Of course. You’re a free bird, Max.”
“Well then, I suppose I accept your offer. For now.”
Ian grinned and held out his hand, which Max shook. Was he making a huge mistake...?
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man i dont know how to articulate this so im gonna try my hardest. work with me here.
y'all know my general feelings on the tumblr ad-free thing right now. but in case this post spreads, the long and short of it is that i approve and will be using it when its convenient for me to access.
having said that.
i just saw a post that ALMOST raised an interesting point. i kind of want to respond to that. partially because it's one good point surrounded in a bunch of the shittiest takes ive ever seen.
the post was a reblog of the official announcement with an addition that said (summarized) "nobody would care about the ads if they weren't all filled with NFTs or porn. this is just a manipulation tactic from tumblr because why fix anything if the users will fix it themselves"
okay, breaking this down into its parts. and getting the easier ones out of the way first.
"nobody would care about the ads" is blatantly untrue and we all fucking know it.
"why fix anything if the users will fix it themselves" i dont know how to tell you this if you cant figure it out yourself. but this is literally what they are doing. i mean, first of all, it's a built-in multiplatform adblocker. so users are going to be less likely to use their own adblockers (fixing it themselves) or using other extensions to emulate similar effects. while also giving the site an alternative path of revenue to rely on ads less in the first place. and keep in mind that this is only the first update of many planned and in-progress features.
"manipulation tactic" (which, yes, is the actual phrase used in that post) is. oh my god. ohhhhhh my god WHAT are you even talking about. that's not even like? applicable in this situation????? like first of all this change is too small and simple and straightforward for that. it's a fucking built-in adblocker. and on top of that they are being extremely transparent about its functionality. like. they are actively answering questions about it on the wip blog. it can't even BE a manipulation tactic, because it's NOT ABOUT US. this is about tumblr being in the red, wanting to figure out how to get out of the red, and also kind of like doing a chill thing for us in the meanwhile? which they openly admit? it's completely opt-in. tumblr doesn't actually even handle any of your payment information. there's nothing to ~manipulate~ you for or with. because you are completely aware of what's going on. with an optional feature. you are fully allowed to say no, for any reason of your choosing that you are not required to disclose. nothing bad is gonna happen if you don't use it, it's just gonna stick to status quo.
which brings us to like. the actually valid part of their criticism. which is that people are going to be more likely to use the feature specifically because the choice in ads this website has. which is absolutely true. and it's also true that the ads on this site are frequently harmful, especially as of late. but i still think this is probably worth discussion other than just dropping it on the floor and leaving it there (which is NOT the same as making excuses. as said, many of the site's ads are harmful in one way or another. even if/when that can be changed, it doesn't change that it already happened. and even if it's not directly tumblr's fault, SOMEONE made that decision who is in some way affiliated with tumblr.) i am not involved in this site in any other way other than as an end-user. BUT i do know a little about how ads work in general. so basically the problem here is the vetting process. a lot of sites get their ads from google adsense, which leaves the entire vetting process out of their hands. that's not what's going on here so it can't be that. (side note: fuck google's vetting processes. or lackthereof). the next step up would be, if the site is part of a conglomerate, all the company sites under that label use the same or similar ads. tumblr is still owned by yahoo last i checked, and the ads on tumblr are more-or-less on par with yahoo ads. so that's probably where we are, especially considering how small and overworked the tumblr team is. that said, there's one of two possibilities: either tumblr staff can't raise the issue because of tumblr not being profitable, or tumblr staff can't raise the issue because the top dogs won't listen regardless. staff does know about the ads. in addition to having to hear us complaining about it all the time, some of them are users themselves. so yeah, they know.
so, there's basically three possibilities here. if tumblr does their own vetting (unlikely), then being a more profitable site can help convince yahoo to allocate more funds and staff to tumblr, which gives them more ability to do better vetting. if tumblr doesn't do their own vetting, then if the site becomes more profitable, it could give them a stronger voice to negotiate for better vetting from yahoo. and of course, there's the possibility that no matter what happens, yahoo just doesn't give a fuck. but it's very unlikely that TUMBLR DIRECTLY doesn't give a fuck. im not saying we're barking up the wrong tree or whatever. but you do have to be realistic about what it is you're asking for.
#original#long post#that post did have more to say about specific examples of how some of the ads can be harmful#(like the ones about webcomics about pedophilia) but im not addressing that because. i do actually agree with that part
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