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#i can fix her trust me
mewtwo24 · 2 months
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Not to be That Guy but like.
Am I the only one that can't stop thinking about how Tianlang-Jun says about Luo Binghe that he pretends to be cold-hearted like his mother. The hint of fondness there, the heartache in that utterance.
Like it drives me absolutely insane. Imagining her putting on a front of strength, cold and driven and unrelenting. Why does TLJ say that about her. Did she secretly look for solutions that meant reconciling with demons instead of hurting them when her sect wasn't looking? (I wonder this because I feel like his weird fondness for SQQ would lowkey track if it's connected to the woman he once loved.) Did he mean that she was tasked with basically assassinating him and she fell in love with him instead (re: failed step one)? Did he mean that she was fond and doting in her own way (e.g. conceding he was attractive, paying for his exploits and humoring him)? Did he mean that, like LBH, she thought that power would be the thing to protect her--and that it was disguising a person who was deeply and privately wounded? All four????? I don't need sleep I need a n s w e r s
Did she know about the Huanhua Palace Master's skeevy ass intentions before she met TLJ? Or did those only come to significant light after she fell in love with TLJ? Is that why she never anticipated that level of betrayal, because initially she had no intention of being with anyone romantically? And HHPM just assumed she would be under his thumb forever?? Was she furious at her own indiscretion or did she try to use the pregnancy as a bargaining chip, a way to try to stop the immortals of Cang Qiong Mountain from attacking TLJ (plus the bonus of marriage entrapment no takesies backsies this is where LBH gets it from)? Did she try to use that claim on her to dissuade HHPM from his covetous advances, framing herself as tainted so that she could finally escape? Did she dream of a life by TLJ's side, far away from Cang Qiong Mountain?
Like. Literally every single permutation of what this could mean guts me to hell. Do you ever just cry about tianxi because I--[loud bawling noises]
#svsss#tianxi#tianlang jun#su xiyan#like this shit keeps me awake at night#i'm trying to put fic ideas together and every time i go back to that line i just#find myself trying to parse and hone out su xiyan's mannerisms/personality#zzl's descriptions help a great deal but i also love that they're limited in the sense that#1. zzl was clearly scared shitless of/disconcerted with her LMFAO#2. he was suspicious of her (as a cultivator fundamentally) and its fascinating that TLJ did not seem to share this suspicion at all#or one could argue tlj just didn't care beyond his attraction and glee being around her jkahglfdskjhsfkhjg#there is also the hilarious implication that part of what turned tlj on so much about sx is the fact that she could prbly kill him#tlj really said 'i love a woman who can and WILL kick my ass'#'none of that soft power seduction shit manhandle me or nothing'#like he always believed deep down--or at the very least wanted to believe--that she loved both him and lbh dearly#i'm not usually the fix-it fic type but the Way I Need To See Su Xiyan Destroy Huanhua Palace Master's Entire Life.#i just want sx and her boytoy to live happily ever after is that so wrong?#i also think of that person (im so sorry tumblr user i dont rmr who u are at the minute) that said there had to be trust between tlj and sx#because YES. ABSOLUTELY. I AGREE. AND I WANT IT FOR ME#don't mind me just the usual descent into madness anytime i think too hard about svsss#i need to outline damn you airplane and your refusal to expand on LBH's juicy ass backstory#ill never forgive the chinese (joke)
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mishapen-dear · 7 months
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i know too fucking much about qsmp badboyhalo.
#and also. not enough#that one big summary of his Deal was like . 1k words.#and it brushed over so much shit#like his trust issues and the vacation arc and his criminal background (on qsmp) and the way he was the first to take protecting the#eggs seriously and i dont even KNOW enough about his relationship with maxo and the french that is a big blindspot for me but bad and max#(and foolish?) og founders of the theory bros the first people who started questioning cucurucho and then the french his family the people#who keep proving to be on his side over and over and i love it when he hangs out with pierre and talks create#and when he chills with antoine and helps fix the big spinning ring#and his WEIRD warrior's bond with etoiles (bad always gets along with the protectors have you noticed that#forever was the second big egg protector and baghera took care of pomme from the start and cellbit threw himself to the feds to try to help#the island and etoiles took the weight of the code attacks from bad's shoulders to his own in entirety. he respects them all a lot and i am#chewing him to pieces)#and his relationship with baghera!!!! she can read him so so well and he fucking trusts her enough to be dapper's mom#he may have felt weird about it and was jealous and :c because tahts HIS dapper but#he didn't kill her about it#or really do anything to discourage it#and he noticed her tear streaks and her leg and got Worried about the federation 'fixing' her and#genuinely he was so so happy when he realized she was back he went !!! mode#look. LOOK at these fucking tags. look back at the post. i can Keep Talking.#my point remains i know too fucking much about qsmp badboyhalo#shit and i didn't even TALK about his weird bullshit with foolish#i need a giant corkboard
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incorrectsibunaquotes · 4 months
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The show says Nina and Sarah are both 11 in numerology, but actually only Nina is. Sarah is a 9 lmfao
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solaeclipse75 · 3 months
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“I can fix her” but the only problem with her is that she doesn’t like Vegemite
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soapdi-spencer · 6 days
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I have a migraine but surely thinking about Raphaella and scrolling through pictures of her on my phone instead of sealing myself away in a dark room will fix me
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jahiera · 8 months
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sorry I'm gonna cringepost again.
there's something I need to expel from my brain in terms of how astarion grapples and feels resentment/disgust/derision toward the concepts of heroics and ""good"" people and the way that emrys craves deeply to be good but will ultimately always fall short of the mark (in her own mind, at least) because she's too angry + too violent + too impulsive + too outraged (toward injustice, cruelty, in the world), the paladin ideal will never be met. and how when they're put together in the same room they line up to smack each other RIGHT in the thing theyre sensitive about. astarion lays out clearly the failures of the very foundations of her belief systems, makes her grapple with the things that are too extreme, whats long since become burdens to her, and she forces him to endure the fact that there are at least a few people in the world that are willing to fight with him and for others. and they're both? scrappy people, really. and go hard in the opposite directions but on the same wavelength of... interaction; both snarky, stubborn, toe to toe on everything, admirable of resilience. sort of forced together by circumstance, but completely filling in the gaps the other's got going on. it's just where he's got the lying and the charades and the bullshit and she is so Brusque and bludgeoning through at all times that the charade is moot. completely antithetical to everything he's been doing for the last 200 yrs, which is as irritating as it can maybe be refreshing. and he makes her laugh. WHICH IS NICE.
#not really into the protectiveness thing or the 'I can fix him'--if he grows beside her that's up to him but regardless in all of that#there's security and dependability to her; in turn there's a freedom to being with him#a sort of. relinquishing of burdens. learning a bit of quality selfishness.#like I don't see astarion necessarily /directly/ thinking about how he helps her; I don't think that's really something he Comprehends on a#level where it can be put rationally into words.#(at least; not yet)#she's very much someone who's too ...... repressed really. for lots of serious contemplation on what you give the other person#but for the sake of ME comprehending. ugh what a rush it is to be around someone who is so totally delighting in the freedom of the world#ignoring the murder comments. (which also make her chortle a bit not that she would admit it. because it's so ridiculous.) there's a lot of#little awe and ridiculousness and delight he's got going on that sort of strikes a cord for what she's both#taken for granted and what she herself /lacks/#something something he's just now free and she's still chained up to the weight of her own oaths & expectations#which is a very DIFFERENT kind of binding to what he had going on but there's enough there to strike a cord with her#and on the inverse. again. she's such a /solid/ grounding presence. which starts out unfathomably irritating but is undeniably secure#if she surprises him it's only in the small interpersonal because she's /so/ constant. nothing weathervane about her.#except for when she can be Encouraged toward something mildly chaotic or ridiculous (which she can)#I dont know I just ... find his endless fluidity next to her stalwart-to-a-fault to be. COMPELLING.#how do you move and flit and con around someone so unyieldingly real.#easily. but also extremely difficult when she doesn't buy into the bullshit either.#she's not trusting enough and most definitely not naive enough to believe in the goodness of others. demands it anyway. and such and such.#oc. emrys
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craycraybluejay · 6 months
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Bruh I be having literally the worst urges and I feel bad that I don't feel bad at all. Like damn. Guess I'm really like that. Well, anyway.
#i am apathetic to whatever monstrosities lie within my mindscape#or rather i enjoy them and am apathetic to the idea that they are evil#unfortunately the fact that I'm excited ab them makes me rly rly rly want to talk ab them#which would be bad#but if it gets bad enough i think its time i let my therapist in on the next circle of anouther hell#i know she will be kind no matter what i spring on her#but this. i dont know how to feel or what to think about all this#its pathological. i can fix it about as well as i can fix the fact that i adore music or get turned on by fear or am consistently-#-platonically or otherwise pulled to murderers and the like#i know its some psychosexual nonsense-- some fixation rooted in some perverse symbolism that i cant fully grasp#its so difficult to be a BadWrong thoughts and desires person#bc even tho i have like. some level of control and ethicsband whatnot. even tho im not doing the guilt ocd thing.#even though i know im ok the way i am#i also know i cant talk ab it. cant be excited about it. cant vent or happy rant about it. stay quiet. let it eat ya#cause ppl cant accept some things cant like. come to terms with things. again and again#i find myself relating more to 'good people' but being able to talk more openly and honestly with 'bad people'#like im too far from either side to ever be fully myself but i must let it out#and so i find i cant trust the people i love most with some of the most personal things more than i can trust a complete stranger#because at least that stranger has no spare room to judge. and i cant give af about losing a strangers high esteem of me#i share something truly heinous and sure i may be threatened but. disappointment from ppl u love is worse than murderous rage from strangers#which came first- the fixation or the corruption? i think it was the fixation#i was like that before. whatever false indulgences i have given myself will always sate the beast and not create it#i am not a bad person. but i will always have a monster inside me. a balancing act between#being a somewhat polite functioning member of society and completely losing myself to the dark#i dont hate myself. i wish i did sometimes so i wouldnt have the urge to vomit it all out#i wish i hated myself and felt such guilt over all that so i could be happy with being quiet. i wish it was only good that excited me proper#or rather i wish i knew someone like me in the right ways. irl. no phones no danger. who i could share with excitedly and not feel like ill#be told that im a freak who deserves to die. someone who will share equally horrific things with me and will keep me in check#i want talk therapy but with someone that has something SO wrong with them. a friendship that is nasty and fun and grossly honest#someone to say 'i know what ur talking ab/how u feel' when i say something pitch dark
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sameteeth · 4 months
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[ image description:
3 screenshots of max and anne's conversation in the cave in black sails season 3 episode 3. all screenshots show anne, standing in the dark with only a single beam of light across the frame, and closed captions along the bottom. she moves from the dark on the left to further to the right with each screenshot, with the first screenshot being her completely consumed by darkness and the final screenshot showing her silhouette outlined by the beam of light.
the first screenshot's closed captions are of max speaking - she says "you should stay...". the second screenshot continues max's statement: "To see it be divided evenly". the third screenshot is of anne speaking - the closed captions read "I trust you." end image description ]
something something in the dark there is possibility
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babe you gotta do something abt the big wet kitten eyes. youre aiming for menacing with the words i get that but it just doesnt quite have the effect youre going for with the big wet kitten eyes
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fore-seer · 4 months
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insane about lucina today
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yes-we-exist · 6 months
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Big fan of the Dead Ringers remake. I can watch Rachel Weisz play fucked up twins all day, every day
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stellamancer · 5 months
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Like, I'm sorry, but the moment any customer tries to use their patronage (i.e. "I've been coming to your store for ××× amount of time!!") as leverage then I just lose sympathy. Especially when, as I explained three times, I literally cannot do anything to fix the problem.
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mattodore · 6 months
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i love my sims and i fr think they’re gorgeous and untouchable ☝️ the worst you can say to me abt any of them is that matthias has a shovel chin which like. he does 😭 fair! jump him again for me next!!
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widevibratobitch · 2 months
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moments like this when im really glad im a sad little cynic who always considers the worst possible outcome and never lets herself truly get comfortable and trust the good things in her life to stay there and builds her life around trying to soften the blows of the eventual disappointments just waiting around the corner lol never leaving my edgy teenager era peace and love
#i mean if the alternative is whatever the fuck is going on with my best friend rn then hooooo boy#cancelling therapy immediately i never want to change i wanna keep my trust issues forever and ever if its gonna save me from THIS#is he a dick? kinda. yeah. and a coward because if dude was sure he didnt want it since AUGUST and didnt have the guts to end it till now#actually he didnt end it. she was the one who finally snapped. but we seriously fought twice before because she just woudlnt listen#when i said that girl this isnt gonna work and you trust him too much and you're attachment styles are incompatible as hell#your*#but nvm. the least you could do when a 7 years younger girl who's clearly obsessed with you is breaking up with you#cause she just cant take it anymore. and you can see she's still in love with you because you've been lying to her for half a year.#imo the least you could do at that point is just. dont tell her that jfc. just say you're sorry it didnt work out etc etc#dont fucking tell her you stopped being in love with her in fucking august#and just 'didnt know how to end it' and lied when she asked if everything's alright#like my god. yes ig this would never have happened if she hadn't trusted him so completely and expected love to fix her whole life#but jesus dude. she's not even 23 she has a right to be naive. you're almost 30. you DONT get to be a man child anymore#christ. okay.#anyway i wish i could help her but telling her to 'trust less' and 'never truly rely on other people' sounds horrible and cringe and edgy af#but i genuinely dont have any other advice#like babygirl im sorry but your bestie is a piece of human garbage and she's doing the best she can but her best is Not Much alas
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softshuji · 4 months
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y'know it's a night when hal sits and eats cereal in the dark room at 1.30am.
#i was thinking abt it earlier#but i've been crying so much lately like so much. almost every second day if not every day and i dont know why#actually i do kinda know why.#i think im hitting my limit with a lot of things and one of them is my parent dumping their problems on me#earlier today my mom told me again abt the whole debacle with my dad cheating on her multiple times and everyone knows i find this subject#too much for me i dont tlike to think about it or anything and im so tired of hearing it and especially when i lived through it trust me i#was literally there the whole cheating subject is very raw to me for many reasons and im just tired of being the emotional dump so often#especially because she always comes to me for everything all the time and im so sos tire d#everyone always tells me i should consider my own needs as a person and its okay to have them and yk in theory i agree with this but i just#cant. i grew up not having any needs met so how can i let myself have them now it makes me feel absolutely awful with myself to even#consider having to ask for something off someone and yet i know how wrong this is iknow needa and desires and wants are natural#but mine have always been on the back burner for everyone else. so its' no surprise ive let myself think im something to be used for other#peoples sake. whether that be physically or emotionally and especially the latter. because thats how i see myself someitmes. something#something to make people feel betetr about themselves that has no use outside of how i make them feel - just something to use until they#move onto the next best thing. something more entertaining and better value whatever that might mean something with less feelings less#sensitive. it feels like sometimes thats what i am. the indestructible never breaking hal that somehow has a solution to everything and can#always be there to fix every issue and is there to make people feel better but needs nothing in response#and god it really does feel like my problems dont mean anything to anyone#it does feel like no one thinks theyre worth anything#not worth listening to not worth thr same attention etcetc and yknow what i hate hate hate asking for attention and yet i get upset when i#feel like im not actually being heard or listened to#and i find it happens so often. sometimes i wanna hear it just once for once i wanna hear 'hey its okay to be upset i wish i could hug you'#or something like that god i dont want to be strong and nursing my wounds in private anymore#god i want a hug so bad and someone to just let me cry on them just once i want to be held and told someones got me instead of me doing it#for everyone else all the time#is thisselfish? it feels selfish to say#this is why it affects me so deeply whenever anyone does validate me or tells me its ok to want things or that im loved or anything nice#god i cant handle niceness at all it feels like it knocks me so bad it takes me ages to recover#and yet somehow all i can tell myself is that theyre only saying nice things because theyre being obligated to and not becayuse they feel#like they actually like me
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swordmaid · 2 years
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when brienne was like I’m sorry I didn’t trust you I don’t know how to do that anymore hhHHHHHAAAAGHHH
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