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saiidahyunie · 5 months

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these moments are everything with you

kim dahyun x reader

synopsis: you thought you’d be better off alone, until you met her.

warnings: very very very small angst ; mostly fluff

wc: 4.2k

a/n: @gayforminatozaki @miinatozakiii i was perplexed with the lack of dahyun drabbles in your reblogs so don't mind me i'm just here to fulfill my quota in the dahyun works department (and also becuase she's my ult bias so i just had to write something for her cuz it would be a crime if i didn't)

had this one sitting the google drive for a couple days now so i thought now would be a good time to post this before i focus on finals for the next week and a half. :/

꒰ᐢ. .ᐢ꒱🎧｡°✩⭑: moments by michah edwards (this pushed the fic inspo a lot this song is so cute >.<)

—

there was only one word to describe you: average.

anyone that was friends with you or in your family knew that you weren’t the most outgoing person to be around. you didn’t talk much only when it mattered in the conversation and your friends still accepted you for being that way. taking pride in being introverted while also willing to do whatever they asked was a strength in itself.

once everyone went their separate ways for college, your small band of five friends were worried about how you’d handle the dorm experience.

“how much do you wanna bet y/n will be friends with the instructors before any of the students?”

“y/n’s a bookworm already as it is so i wouldn’t be surprised that the library or dorm will be the go-to spot.”

you knew that jihyo and jeongyeon meant well and shrugged their comments off when they helped you move into your dorm the first year. in fact, you used the criticism as motivation as you were the top of your class, eventually rubbing it in their face when jeongyeon had to retake a chem class over the summer during your guys’ second year. as for bambam, junho, and ryujin, the other three friends in the group, they couldn't help but laugh at jeong’s blunder as you sat across from her with a sly smirk on your face.

fast forward a year later and it’s finals week before the summer break. everyone is in a rush, the library was packed, cafes were having a field day, and you couldn’t wait to hear the infamous “midnight screams.” all throughout the week in your dorm. your main math building had several classrooms but you managed to find an open one that wasn’t occupied. you opened the door and scanned the dark room for anything out of the ordinary; sighing in relief, you stepped in the empty classroom and got to work.

you scrounged up three desks together to make a mock table for your stuff as you got to work on the giant blackboard behind you. about forty-five minutes into your study session, you scribbled an equation on the board with a sturdy piece of chalk. you turn your head to the right side as you see the door open and see a girl with wavy raven colored hair with glasses, making eye contact with you stopping in her tracks.

“oh shoot, i thought this room was empty.” she started saying, “this was my usual place to study since the library gets overpacked.” you stood there as she briefly apologized and started to turn around. it only took a split second, but you made a choice that would change everything, not even your friends back home would believe this if you said it the first time. you set the chalk down on the board and wiped your hands off with the remnants of it, coughing slightly because of the dust from your hands.

“you don’t have to leave! i don’t mind if you study here too.” you called out to her, scratching the back of your head and sharply inhaling through your teeth, hoping that she’d take up on your offer.

the girl stopped her movements when your voice reached her and turned back to you, pondering on your offer. she had a judgment call to make: either look for another room to study in or study with you, making a new friend in the process. thirty seconds had passed and with a blank expression on her face, she walked into the class, setting all of her study materials next to yours on the desk. once she got herself situated, she walked up to you, sticking her hand out.

“i’m kim dahyun.” the girl said smiling, finally putting her name to the face.

“it’s nice to meet you dahyun, i’m y/n.” you said, returning the same smile.

usually you weren’t the kind of person to be flustered when meeting a girl for the first time, but there was something about dahyun that made your head spin and your heart go up an’ over. you shook her hand and held onto hers for a little longer than you should’ve before letting go.

in a moment’s hesitation, you then picked the small piece of chalk up again, returning to the equation that you started earlier while also saving yourself from the embarrassment you gave yourself. finishing up the equation you step back to the desk island behind you, peering over to see the answer key in the textbook making an audible “tsk” sound with your lips, erasing the portion of your answer you messed up on.

“shit, it wasn’t this.” you muttered to yourself as dahyun stepped up next to you. “are you in physics 460 too?” she asked, picking up another piece of chalk, scribbling the same equation in the blank blackboard next to you. you stood there in a slight awe as she elegantly finished up the problem, boxing up her answer under the work she just did.

stepping back to admire her seamless work, you glanced at the board and the textbook to double check. your eyes shot slightly open than usual only to realize that her answer was correct.

“whoa, h-how did you know exactly?” you stuttered. really? at a time like this? this didn’t happen before, so what the hell is going on with you?

dahyun shrugged her shoulders at you, smiling. “i took the class last semester. i assume it’s professor hyejin since she’s a really good teacher and all the students try to get in her class.” she said, “not an easy class, but she knows the material inside and out.”

you just simply nodded at her explanation and leaned against the desk island, crossing your arms together impressed at her sharp intelligence. “i tried enrolling for her class at the beginning of the semester, but i got professor heechul instead. he’s an ass. doesn’t even grade things properly and acts like a kid when things don't go his way.” you huffed out with a sigh only to be thrown off with dahyun’s sudden burst of laughter. as she was laughing, you look down and smiled at yourself noticing her really cute laugh.

“i’m actually a TA for professor heechul right now, so i can see where you’re coming from.” dahyun shook her head in agreement and smiled, walking to her bag to get her own textbook and started reviewing on her own classes. the room filled up with silence that wasn’t surprisingly awkward silence, but instead, it was something else.

to be fair to yourself, your friends were right about you with everything that they predicted. you were well acquainted with the professors and you basically lived in the library from time to time. now that you’ve met dahyun, the little fire of hope in proving them wrong by being her friend lit a little more brightly.

the blackboard was overrun with problems and equations left and right. you took a chair to sit down in small five minute breaks as you turned your head to see the clock at the back of the classroom, realizing that it’s been about two and a half hours. any more time spent here would have burnt your brain out with the workload you just did. over to your right side, dahyun continued to work. three textbooks were spread out on the desk island, her laptop was out, and she was triple checking her work on the blackboard as well. you were intrigued with the amount of energy she still had, seeing she was working double time compared to you.

dahyun looked over to you, and you didn’t realize that you’d been staring for way longer than you should’ve. in a quick movement, your head shot straight down and cracked your neck before grabbing a textbook right after, not even catching the fact that it had been upside down. dahyun observed your last action and softly giggled at your surprisingly funny antic.

four days had passed since then, you and dahyun were in the same room at the same time again. you pondered on how weird it was for her schedule to be in line with yours. were you gonna ask her about it? no. are you complaining? also no. in that short amount of time, you and her got to know each other better, accustomed to seeing her more and more often.

“hey dahyun?” you asked with a sense of boldness today. dahyun turned around from the right triangle she drew on the board and looked at you with a smile. she always looked towards you with a sense of admiration, you didn’t think anything of it but it felt nice to have her look that way since it felt good. it was a nice change of pace to have a study partner, a really smart one too.

“i was wondering if you’d want to grab a drink with me after finals? not a drink as in alcohol, but coffee?” you looked at her, trying to resist the sudden heat that was plastered over your face. you had some sort of idea why dahyun made you feel this way as if your body was going through an acupuncture treatment, but you could handle it.

a smile stretched across dahyun’s face as she lightly bounced on the balls of her feet, heels touching the ground before lifting off again, excited at your offer.

“i’d love to!”

you simply nodded and smiled back at her while in your heart was doing backflips. “so it’s on me then?” you jokingly asked as she nodded at you again before you two went back to studying. the thought of this was just going to be a one time thing would be diminished at the revelation that you can tell your friends back home that you studied with someone for the week.

—

finals week of your junior year came and went; not that anyone cared or saw coming, that “one time thing” coffee run turned into a second run, then a third, and then a fourth being an actual date. soon after that first date rolled a couple more dates and the rest didn’t need any further explanation. flash forward ahead one year following a graduation ceremony later, you and dahyun would be moving in together at your new studio apartment. the discussion about it went smoothly before graduation since you had managed to convince dahyun that you had more space compared to her shared apartment with her friends. a big plus was that your landlord was more fond of dahyun than the previous one that she was with at the time.

moving in wasn’t a simple task to tackle, the transition for dahyun was easier since you were the one doing all the heavy lifting for her. the boxes she had was a trove of items curated throughout her entire lifetime in addition to the pictures she took of various moments. the two small boxes you were carrying this time were just towers of picture frames with photos with a story to tell.

one notable thing that you learned about dahyun early on in your relationship was how she loved taking pictures. whether said pictures would be on her phone, your 90s film camera, her polaroid, and just recently an old digicam that you found when you visited your parents back in spring break. dahyun would have at least one camera on hand whenever you two went out, taking pictures of friends, animals, cute architecture, or anything that she found aesthetically pleasing. some of those pictures were of you as well.

rummaging through one of the boxes she brought over, a picture catches your eye. it was the third date which was a picnic and you were wondering what the clicking sound was at the time. dahyun had brought a polaroid camera and refused to show you the picture, claiming that it was for something later, even though she took twelve more later during the date. the memory flashed through your head as you held the picture in your hand smiling. dahyun scooched over to you placing her head on your arm while you picked up another picture that was you with headphones in and holding a vinyl of one of elton john’s songs. despite the fact how corny it was, you were glad that she kept that one.

click!

“baby…” you groaned, turning around to see dahyun holding a camera behind you. tilting your head at dahyun as she looked at you with innocent eyes, slowly strolling over to you.

“what? i can’t take pictures of my lover who looks insanely attractive hanging pictures up?” dahyun asked as she tiptoed to give you peck on the lips, lightly blushing at her sign of affection.

“sure, you find my sexually appealing hanging a picture on the wall wearing sweatpants and a cream shirt with a soy sauce stain on it.” you said shaking your head, turning your focus to the picture that was slanted on the wall. bad pictures aside, you took pride in the ones that you took of dahyun. one being an amusement park date with her getting off one of the rides and the other one of her at the aquarium for your six months. now, both of these are on the wall in the living room.

dahyun tiptoed a bit to adjust the picture on the wall before backing up, proud of her achievement. “ah, perfect.”

“taking pride in your curation?”

“you’re annoying.” she replied back, rolling her eyes and smacked your arm, not even registering the teasing remark. “i was referring to the picture frame hanging on the wall now.”

you smiled and kissed her temple, slotting your right arm on her waist. “i know. i was just messing with you. the pictures are always nice when you take them.” you looked at her noticing the slight color of pink on her cheeks. dahyun turned towards you, trying to cover her face as you grabbed the polaroid camera from her hands to take a quick pic, capturing the adorable look on her face.

“hey! you’re so meannn. i don’t look good right now!” dahyun whined as she jumped up to grab the polaroid that was printed out, your hand straight up in the air, laughing at her desperate attempt . after she calmed down, you handed the camera back to her in your left hand, your right hand still clasping the photo.

“if you’re gonna take a picture of me hanging pictures, i should be able to take a picture of you blushing a bit. it’s a fair trade no?” you claimed as you scrunch your nose at her, eyeing the picture that is now fully developed. you gasped with your mouth agape, enjoying dahyun’s distressed expression.

“what? do i look ugly?” she asks.

you shook your head in response and turned the picture around, keeping the distance so she couldn’t grab it. “you look adorable in this, i could kiss you.”

dahyun looked at you blankly, with a small glint in her eyes. “well, why don’t you then?.” she asks, pursing her lips together and leaning in.

you smirked at her offer, gently placing your lips on hers. your hands having minds of their own finding their place on her cheek and waist as she pulled on your shirt, bringing you closer. a tender, loving kiss you and her shared until a smile creeps through dahyun’s lips as she snatched the picture away from your hands.

“come on dahyun! you can’t use kissing to your advantage like that.” you complained as she stood there with a smug smile.

“i can and i just did.” she triumphantly said, shrugging her shoulders as she still had the picture in her right hand. you slowly stepped closer to her, noticing what you were intending to do, this prompted dahyun to run across the apartment for a few seconds. a chase that only lasted two minutes and ended up with you two exhausted on the couch. the objective of getting the photo off of her was completely forgotten as she ran her fingers through your hair with you feeling her heartbeat on her chest.

you shift over to lay down with dahyun as she held up the picture, putting her other arm around your head to get more comfortable. “i love when you take pictures. i really do, even if it’s the embarrassing ones you usually capture.” you said as you felt dahyun turn her head towards you, her lips giving a soft kiss to your cheek.

“i know you do, but let me keep this one at least.” dahyun laid back down, adjusting herself to be on top of you and sighing happily. even though both of you were about to drift off to sleep, you knew what she said was genuine. the statement being that she loved you, how she appreciated you noticing the small minute things, and how you adored anything and everything about her.

—

three years on and pushing to four, in the regular nine to five weekday routine with occasional outings on the weekends, it was easy to get lost in the neverending cycle of labor. the apartment was a lot more lively now with ari, dahyun’s dog now running around the place, things around here were now more filled with love.

after a painstaking friday shift, you finally made it home first, discarding your shoes and placing your bag on the chair next to the kitchen island, sluggishly walking to the couch and flopping down. nothing was planned for the weekend and you intended to stay at home, without the thought of work running through your mind. you didn’t hate your job all that much, on the contrary, you enjoyed what you were doing with the marketing job despite the unhealthy hours at times. each day brought on a new task to encounter.

as you melt away on the couch and your eyes become drowsy, you hear the door click open. on nights like this you were accustomed to the daily routine of getting home first and then hearing dahyun come in saying that she’s home, following your pathway to the couch, opening your arms for her to come to your embrace; though it was different this time as you heard a slight shuffle of shoes being taken off followed by her small backpack.

dahyun then sauntered over to the couch and gently laid down on top of you, burying her head in your chest facing down. you adjust your arms eventually wrapping them around her back, patting it as you looked down to the top of her head. a slight concern stirred in your head since you noticed that something was out of the ordinary with her. out of respect for her state, you hugged her more closely as you muttered an “i love you “ lowly and stroked her hair after while she adjusted one more time before not moving again.

most nights were always lively with good vibes, but you also liked how there was not much to be said, just simple actions carried so much weight with how much you and dahyun loved each other. as you and her just stayed quietly with the dim light coming from the kitchen and the quiet motor of the humidifier filling up the silence. ahri also did say hi to you and dahyun, but went back to his bed playing with one of his chew toys.

as you felt the urge to sleep more and more, you felt dahyun’s soft breaths in a steady rhythm. you smiled at her head before you tried to close your eyes, only to be interrupted then.

the small body laying on top of you stirred for a bit with a few sniffles being picked up by your ears. your eyes opened up slightly wider and propped your body a little bit upward, met with a teary-eyed dahyun. the sight of her shattered your heart as you pulled her closer to you, tears and sniffles soaking the right shoulder of your shirt. you let her collect herself after a few minutes through crying before you ask anything.

“honey what’s wrong?” you kissed her forehead and fixed the few strands of hair behind her left ear, rubbing her cheek that was stained with tears.

“it’s- i was- i just…” she was struggling to say whatever she had on her mind as you shushed her, hugging her again and rubbing her back in small circles, something that she really liked you doing when comforting her.

“it’s okay, whatever it is i’ll listen.” you firmly said to her as she wiped her face. “i had a really bad day at work today. my boss kept adding on to what i was working on and i- i was so worried that i wouldn’t be able to finish it all.” you stared at her as she explained what was happening at her work. “i was able to but- i didn’t want to fail and with all the stress i…” she covered her face as she felt more tears about to break through.

you tilt your head, faintly sympathizing with what dahyun had to go through as you hugged her for the third time in the span of five minutes. knowing that it’s very rare that dahyun rants to you over something that stresses her, since most of the time it’s always happy and lighthearted. before she could jumble more of her words trying to get her point through, you silenced her with a quick peck that shifted to a subtle loving kiss to ease her train of thought.

pulling back and gazing into her inviting black eyes you rubbed her cheek again, “i’m proud of you working through what your boss asked you to do. it’s all in the past now and you have me.” you bombard dahyun with kisses again all over her face, drawing her a soft giggle in appreciation of your task. stopping for a moment to look at you again, she simply nodded as her sign of thank you and kissed you again.

“you’re the best y/n.” she softly says to you, “you know what to do and say to make me feel better and i’m thankful for that.” you tilt your head at her compliment as she shifts over to kiss your cheek before leaning back onto the couch sitting upright, rubbing her forearm in comfort.

“anything that i do should always make my girlfriend feel good. but since you’re not better yet, what do you want me to help with? i can cook us something for dinner or do you want me to stay with you longer?”

it shouldn’t be seen as an anomaly for you to be more gentle and devoting to dahyun. now if you didn’t act like this at all with her, that was a huge problem in itself. dahyun had managed to bring that side out that neither yourself or your friends would ever think that you’d have in the first place. while you did have that guarded demeanor, she also made you more protective of her feelings. it didn’t take that long for you to learn every detail and quirk that dahyun would show through her expressions. you knew exactly when she’s happy or mad; even the times she would cover up that sadness with a fake smile that she perfected.

“h-how do you expect me to feel fine if you say things like that?” she utters, “every time you do that my heart melts and i ca-” catching herself sniffling again, lightly punching your chest. you laughed at her statement, hugging her once again.

“i have something to show you.” you say, eying the coffee table centerpiece that had various items in it. in between the remotes you fished out a note, “i want you to read this. as a reminder of how i see myself to you.” handing the note to dahyun and watching her unfold it. the small sounds of the paper crumpling in the dimly lit apartment is all that is heard as dahyun begins to read the note you wrote from a while back when she was fast asleep and you were finishing up a late night project.

it took her about forty-five seconds to look at the short note that you written but once she finished reading it, she looked at you in awe. no tears were seen in her eyes as she closed the little space between you two in a loving hug. dahyun didn’t say anything nor did she ever have to with these tender moments with you as she pulled away, gazing into your eyes before giving you another long kiss and snuggled back into your chest. you picked the note away from her hand, holding it up high to look back on what you wrote,

dahyun,

you have done wonders for me when i first met you. i would never have thought of the limitless possibilities of things that i could accomplish alone if it weren’t for you being a part of my life. i thought that i could be content with just existing without making any true connections to anyone that i already knew. but all of that changed when you came along. i’ve said this multiple times to you but i’ll say this once again, thank you for everything. for showing me the beautiful world through your eyes, for being the keeper of my love and memories. for being the one change i will never regret making back when we were in school and i will always love you with everything in my heart.

love, y/n

#dahyun x reader #kim dahyun #twice dahyun #twice x reader #kpop x reader #twice imagines #twice fluff

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whoreforharlow · 10 months

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Extra Credit

Author's Note: New series, surprise surprise lol. So the E is for Enactment series follows Jack and the reader through their super playful relationship that involves lots of role-playing. This is just one of their scenes. The picture is just for outfit inspiration and is NOT a face claim.

Warning: oral(male receiving), mentions of bodily fluids, role-playing, light dirty talk, minors dni

👀

Wanna play?

From

You bet I do 😈

Go take a seat in the office

With that, you smirked and put your phone down on the counter. You grabbed the half-full mug of water and the file you had prepared and made your way to the office where you knew he'd be waiting. You glanced at yourself in the hallway mirror, giggling in excitement at what was about to come. You knocked on the office door, waiting for instruction to enter.

"Come in."

"Professor Harlow, is this a good time? I know it's the end of the day, but I'd really like to talk to you about my grade." You spoke innocently, just your upper body barely in the door, as you asked permission. You saw the look of realization cross his face, a smirk appearing as he registered the theme you were going with this time, before quickly disappearing. He maintained a stoic expression on his face as he leaned back in his chair, nodding his head to encourage you to enter further into the office.

You sauntered in: your hips swaying back and forth like a metronome, your short skirt brushing the exposed skin left by your thigh high socks, your heels clicking against the hard wood with each step, your silk tie brushing against the cleavage from your partially unbuttoned top. You had searched high and low for the pieces of your outfit, not realizing how hard it would be this far from back to school season, but you had managed well for yourself—Jack was certainly satisfied with it. You watched him adjust himself in his seat, his legs spreading further apart as his eyes hungrily scanned your entire body, keeping a cool expression on his face the whole time. As you came around his desk, you placed the mug in front of him, just barely on the edge of the wood, the file with a fake essay placed next to it.

"Like I mentioned earlier, I'd like to ask about my grade. I really need to pass this class, Sir." The honorific causing his nostrils to flare as his eyes met yours. "Is there any way I could get any extra credit?" You bat your eyelashes at him prettily, exaggerating your faux innocent look.

"Listen, Ms. Y/L/N, I'm afraid my grades are already in. I can't make any changes." His voice was husky, making you shiver. He grabbed the file, pretending to examine the contents, "seems like you just have to retake the class next semester," he sighed, before closing the file and placing it down again. He looked at you with faux sympathetic eyes.

"Oh, well. I guess I'll just have to study harder next time. Maybe find a tutor or something." You sighed in disappointment. "Thank you for your time, Professor. I know you're probably eager to get to your weekend. See ya Monday, I guess." You maintained that air of sadness in your tone, a pout on your perfectly painted lips. You dramatically reach over for the file, making sure to knock over your strategically placed mug into Jack's lap. The cup was only filled with a few tablespoons of warm water, but it was enough to fuel the next scene of your performance.

He wasn't expecting it, the water spilling on his crotch as he moved to sit up a bit in his seat, catching the mug and placing it on the desk before it could fall to the ground. You turned to reach for the cloth you had placed on the corner of the desk earlier in the day when you had concocted your plan.

"Oh my God, I'm so sorry, Professor. I'm such a clutz sometimes. Here, let me help you," you insisted, trying to keep a smile off your face at how cheesy this all was.

"I've got it," he said, reaching for the cloth in your hand, but you were quick to press it right on the bulge in his pants, making him groan.

"Please, Professor, let me help you." You said again, this time your tone seductive as you continued to dab his pants with the right amount of pressure. You felt his hand go to your wrist as his eyes fell closed, enjoying your kneading and pressing.

"It seems like it's soaked through the layers," you say with innocent concern. You push his chair away from the desk a bit, getting down on your knees in front of him. His eyes were hooded as he opened them, taking in your new position from between his legs, his vantage point giving him the perfect view of your pushed up tits.

"I'll need to take these off to dry you properly, wet denim can be really uncomfortable." Your hands go to undo the button and zipper, tugging them down his thick thighs with some assistance from him. You continue using the cloth in your hand to dab at the barely there wet spot of his boxer briefs, his hard on pressing against the fabric.

"Hmm, I think these should come off too," you muse, tugging them down as well, revealing his fully hard dick. You continue dabbing at his lap, making sure to spend less and less time touching where he wanted you most so you could build up some suspense, focusing mostly on his pelvis and thighs.

"All dry, Professor Harlow," you spoke so softly, "again, I'm so sorry about this." You bat your eyes up at him, your face just inches from his dick, your breath tickling the tip that was right in front of your mouth. You placed your hands on each of his thighs, rubbing up and down the muscles, your nails lightly scraping the sensitive skin making him tense.

"Are you sure there was nothing I could do for extra credit?" You tilt your head to the side, your voice sweet and low like a siren. You had made sure to wear your wispiest pair of lashes, making your eyes look bigger under your large framed glasses that you bought for your costume. Your lips were painted Jack's favorite shade of cherry red and you knew you'd have him wanting them wrapped around his dick.

"I'd really appreciate it, Sir. I'd do anything to pass your class." You begged, your bottom lip purposely brushing the tip of his head, the precum you collected making your lip glossy.

"I'm sure there's something you could do for some extra credit," his voice was rough as he spoke, sending excitement straight to your core. He held your chin with his fingers, using his thumb to smear his precrum across your bottom lip before pressing it into your mouth. Your eyes closed as you took the digit greedily between your lips, your tongue swirling around it sensually as you let out an exaggerated moan. He pulled his thumb out of your mouth, a ring of red now at the base of it making Jack's resolve shorten even further. He moved his hand down from your chin, lightly grabbing your throat in his large palm as you gave him your most innocent look.

"Go ahead, show me how badly you want that extra credit." He commanded, pulling away and sitting back in his chair, your innocent pout pulling into a devilish smirk. You wasted no time, grabbing the base of him in your hand as you stuck your tongue out, running the flat of it up the bottom of his shaft before swirling the tip of your tongue just under the head of his dick, making him groan. You had taken a tablet about a half an hour ago, the effects of it overproducing saliva and numbing the back of your throat. You took him into your mouth, curling your lips and hollowing your cheeks to suck him in.

"Fuck baby, you're so fucking good at that," he complements, loving the warmth of your mouth around him. You started slowly, taking him inch by inch, allowing your spit to escape your mouth and travel down his shaft, letting you work whatever wasn't in your mouth with your hand. You moaned against him, pulling away to massage the shaft, placing kisses all around his inner thighs, leaving red lip prints on the skin.

You returned to his dick, relaxing your throat and taking him all the way down, making him groan and throw his head back, his hands coming to rest on the back of your head grabbing your a first full of hair. You placed your hand on his, encouraging him to maneuver you however he pleased. You felt him press you down further, nuzzling your nose into his trimmed pelvis, his hips pulsing as he thrusted into your mouth making you moan.

You tapped his thigh lightly, and he let you up to breathe, your mouth detaching from him with multiple strings of saliva, drool dripping down your chin and onto your chest and shirt. You could see the shallow puddle left in his lap, the ring of red lipstick staining the base of him making you feel proud of yourself. Even though you had pulled away to breathe, your hands never stopped massaging him.

"Such a good fuckin' girl, angel. You'll do anything for that perfect grade, won't you." His voice had you in a trance as you nodded, that innocent look in your eyes contradicting the rest of your face: your swollen sinful lips, your lipstick smeared, your mascara running down your cheeks in small streaks, your hair messy from his hands.

"I just want to pass, Professor Harlow. I want to make you proud, Sir." You spoke softly, your thumb rubbing the swollen head as your other hand went down to cradle his sac, lightly squeezing and massaging the weight in your palm. You continued your actions, Jack struggling to maintain eye contact as you quickened your strokes, his moans growing louder and louder. You alternated between pressing open mouth kisses to his shaft while massaging the head, and stroking him while sucking on the bulbous tip.

"I've been such a good girl this semester, I think I deserve a reward, Sir." You proposed when you pulled him out of your mouth. You knew he was close, his balls and stomach tightening let you know that.

"Why don't you let me get a taste of that extra credit, Professor Harlow." You begged him, opening your mouth wide while sticking your tongue out. You tapped the tip of his dick on the wet muscle, his eyes fluttering open to take in the sight before him, your hands still stroking him until he finally came. Ropes of white coated your tongue and face, his hips sputtering as he groaned loudly, watching his seed drip down your face and chest. He was breathing heavily as you continued to milk him, your mouth closing around the head as you gave it a suck, making him flinch and hiss. He attempted to push your shoulder, but you pressed forward and took as much of him as you could before his hip bucked you off of him. He was panting, his face scrunched up almost in pain, as he tried to overcome the sensitivity.

You sat back on your knees, just finally registering the dull ache in them from being in this position for so long, but ignored it. You watched him with a loving expression on your face, his chest heaving with his head slumped to the side, sticky sweaty curls stuck to his forehead and nape, his dick softening on his wet lap, lipstick kisses peppering his thighs. You were thankful that you had placed the waterproof mat on the leather earlier, otherwise there would have been some serious clean up needed.

You return your focus back to the task at hand, turning around to look for the small Tupperware container you had placed under the desk earlier. You had filled it with boiling hot water, so by now it would have cooled down to a warm temperature. You took your cloth from earlier, dipping it in the warm water before ringing it out, using it to begin cleaning up the mess you two had made. The sudden contact had made Jack flinch, his eyes opening to see what was happening, a smile on his face as you began to wipe him down.

"You really thought of everything, didn't you?" He chuckled tiredly.

"Mhm. A good director has to." You winked at him, before getting back into character. "Did I do a good job, Professor?"

"You did a great job, Ms. Y/L/N. I think I could change your grade to a B." He informed you, making your face drop and your hands stop.

"A B?" You question, clearly offended.

"If you're not happy with that grade, I'm sure there's something else you can do for an A." He smiled wickedly, his dick twitching as you watched it harden slightly.

"Oh," you smirk, "well like I said, Professor Harlow, I'd do anything to pass your class."

#jack harlow #jack harlow imagine #jack harlow x reader #jack harlow smut #jack harlow fic

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daydreaming-en-pointe · 4 months

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*ೃ༄ ready, set, spin! ˚◞♡ ⃗

Pairing: Gwen Stacy x fem!Indian!Reader

Type: Oneshot - Fluff

Word count: 923

Warnings: Use of Y/N, use of nicknames (sweetheart, my love) and lots of culture infodumping but everything’s just fluffy stuff! :D

A/N: Wrote this while waiting for a ballet performance which I’m in to start so not proofread at all :’)

(also shoutout to @hobiebrownismygod for hyping my up tHAT WAS LITERALLY SO SWEET THANK U SO MUCH MY LOVE 💕)

“Gwen? Gwen! What-”

You cut yourself off with a soft grunt as the girl in front of you tackled you into a hug, squeezing you tight against her. You dropped your kathak bag onto the floor to hug her back. “Hi, Y/N. I had some free time and thought I’d come visit you. You just got back from kathak?”

You nodded and squeezed her hand as she pulled away to press a kiss to your lips and look at you, dressed in a ghagra choli and churidars covered from head-to-toe in mirror-like sequins stitched barely inches apart onto the midnight blue fabric.

“You look like a disco ball,” Gwen noted, giving you a smile. “Yeah, I noticed.” You linked pinkies with her, dragging her over to sit beside you on the couch while you caught your breath. “We had to do so many chakkars today, I’m absolutely exhausted.”

“Chakkars? What are- oh, are they those spins? Are you spotting enough?” Gwen pulled your legs over her lap, examining the ghungroo bells tied around your ankles with fascination. You held out your hand to her and she untied the strings of bells for you, dropping it into your palm and starting to massage small circles into your sore calf muscles.

“Yeah, I’m spotting enough. It’s just really tiring, y’know?”

Gwen smoothed down a wrinkle in your ghagra. “Yep, that happens. Same thing with pirouettes.”

“Noooo, pirouettes are so different! They’re all graceful and elegant and your legs are in weird positions and a chakkar is more speed than grace. I bet you can’t do a chakkar,” You grinned at her from across the couch, a friendly challenge in your tone at the last part.

“Oh, you are on. And I bet you can’t do a pirouette.”

“Deal. Prepare to lose, Gwendolyn Maxine Stacy.” You couldn’t help but giggle softly at the death-glare she gave you once you mentioned her full name. Fortunately, you knew her well enough to know you had to squirm out of range so she couldn’t tickle you ruthlessly.

“Okay, pirouettes, right? Is it like…” You placed your left foot a few inches behind your right one, angled out so your ankles were lined up. Gwen winced at how you were mercilessly butchering the fourth position in ballet.

“Shush, I’m trying my best. I’d like to see you try to do a chakkar on your first try.” You gave her a little glare, unable to squash the smile tugging at your mouth.

Gwen stuck her tongue out at you and joined you on the floor, standing a few feet away and joining her heels. “How do I do it again…?”

“Wait, you gotta use the ghungroo!” You grabbed the strings and tied them around her ankles, the bells jingling with every move she made. Gwen scrunched her nose as she looked down at it. “This is so different from ballet. Lemme guess, next you’re going to tell me to not point my toes.”

“Well… yeah, actually. See, you’re catching on already!” You gave her a kiss on the cheek before retaking your place and trying your best to figure out how you had aligned your heels. “Okay, you go first. Do a four-step chakkar. I’ll count tha, thei, thei, thut. On each syllable you move your feet into the turn.”

“Wait, wh-”

“Tha, thei, thei, thut” You watched Gwen fumble her way through the turn. Surprisingly, she was a natural at it, although her technique could be perfected a little. “Whoa, you’re actually really good at this. It took me weeks to learn how to do a chakkar.”

Gwen gave you a big smile and reached out to squeeze your hand in thanks before coming to stand beside you. “Okay, now do a pirouette. I know you can do it, sweetheart. C’mon, feel the fire, reach into your heart to find the answer or whatever those mentors in your serials say.”

You feigned a dramatic gasp. “Don’t insult Bollywood serials, they’re awesome!”

“I never said they weren’t. Now shush and focus on the turn or you might end up on the floor with a twisted ankle.” You angled your gaze at a point on the wall to spot through your turn, then brought your hands to curve and meet a little in front of your belly button. You pushed your back leg off the ground into the turn, but lost your spotting point somewhere along the way and ended up losing your balance.

Gwen lunged to catch you before you could hit the ground, steadying you and bringing you back onto your feet. “Yeah, I think that’s enough for today. Come on, let’s go get something to eat.”

“Pani puri,” You immediately suggested. Gwen’s eyes widened and she flushed a little as she remembered an incident that happened when you first tried to teach her to crack open the sphere part of the snack.

“You know I keep breaking those little sphere things,” She complained, giving you puppy eyes in hopes that they’d change your mind. “I spilled the pani part of it all over you last time too, remember? And I don’t wanna ruin your kathak clothes, they’re so pretty.”

“That’s fine, my love. I’ll go change and I’ll teach you how to do it again, properly this time. Besides, pani puri isn’t supposed to be eaten neatly, the whole point of it is that it’s messy and you need to somehow stuff the whole thing in your mouth before it leaks and makes too big of a mess to clean up.”

“Fine, I’ll do it. But only because you asked me to. And I’m going to hold the puri this time.”

I don’t do Kathak and I never have, so pls lmk if anything’s incorrect! <3

Kathak is a type of northern Indian classical dance, with alternate passages of mime and dancing.

A ghagra is a long full skirt, often decorated with embroidery, mirrors, or bells.

A choli is a blouse or a bodice-like upper garment that is commonly cut short leaving the midriff bare (but it’s not always cropped that short). It is usually worn along with a sari or ghagra in the Indian subcontinent.

A ghungroo, also known as ghunghru or ghungur or ghungura, is one of many small metallic bells strung together to form ghungroos, a musical anklet tied to the feet of classical Indian dancers.

Spotting is just a technique used by dancers when they’re spinning as a way to not lose their balance - basically you just focus on a point and every time you spin you have to look at that particular point as quickly as you can and for as long as you can.

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marudny-robot · 1 month

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mdzs x pokemon au thoughts

mostly focusing on yunmeng trio - or rather duo (jc and wwx)

So, focusing on bodies of water, magikarps could be found in lots of places. Especially in yunmeng.

There are also many disciples who likes hard and seemingly impossible challenges. Like training magikarps into gayardoses.

And yunmeng jiang sect can be proud of few disciples and clan members who successfully trained their magikarps into gayardoses. Also, at some point it became the question of not "who can achieve it", but "who can train the stronger gayardos from magikarp" or "who can train the stronger gayardos from magikarp faster" or "who can train the stronger gayardos from magikarp faster without the pokemon starting to hate you and running away somewhere" or "who can train the stronger gayardos from magikarp and be the youngest to do so".

That's why the two young rivals caught a magikarp for themselves to train. Achive the impossible and kick the ass of your sect brother etc.

JC's magikarp has some sick-ass name that would be truly suitable for a beast like a gayardos (but still it's something a ten year old (or younger?) would think of.

WWX thought of so. MANY. NAMES. but none of them was the ideal of his glorious magikarp-sooner-than-JC's-turned-to-be-gayardos. In the end it's name is some kind of fish-based dish that JY implied*, would make magikarp into if he starts abounding the poor pokemon now**.

(* she only asked nicely if he's still training it!) (** JC at least knows some lick of responsibility because he had dogs (dog-like pokemon?) before. But Jiang Fengmian's and Madam Yu's neglect towards (their) children is not the best example of taking care of others :/ And if YJ is going to make her brothers learn some responsibility by making them focus on their bet then it's no-ones business)

Anyways. Training magikarps it's surprisingly not so easy. Despite the hard training sessions both pokemon have not evolved before the boys had to go to Gusu for lectures. They still have not evolved when they came back, nor when the Indoctrination happened, nor when Lotus Pier was attacked - and what's worse they got separated from their trainers when the siblings trio were on the run, (why would you have your water-based pokemon in some kind of pokeball when you live nearby water???). And so, JC's and WWX's bet was never resolved....

...some time later, when the Sunshot Campaign was ongoing, there was plan to retake Lotus Pier. Well, plan always was to retake Lotus Pier, but now they had means and battle plans to do so.

Yet, by the time they arrived, instead of Wens roaming around they found Lotus Pier overtaken by pokemons with two gayardoses seemingly taking the role of main bosses there.

It was a beautiful moment of pokemons reuniting with their trainers, new jiang members being glad not to be considered food by the wild pokemon due being part of the jiang, non-jiang members taking few significant steps back to not get eaten, and everyone sans two having a moment of 'what the fuck did they call them' when (mostly)respectable people like Sandu Sengshou and (not-yet-called-that-then)Yilling Patriarch calling to two gayardoses name akin to "Terminator 3000" and "Chicken Nuggets"

They still don't know who's magikarp evolved first. Officially the bet ended with a tie. Practically Jin Ling's granchildren are aware the bet was never resolved.

------------------------

PS1: there was this one post about how Jiang Family is bad at names (including wwx) and it lives rent free in my brain, but I don't remember who's it was nor specifics

PS2: I hc that if wwx (no matter the au) had pets, either he would let others name them (not because he doesn't have ideas, but because he thinks other short-timed joy is more important/more valuable than his decision in things that don't pertain to the safety of his loved ones and if others don't think for even a moment that his silly name for his pet is good for his pet than why shouldn't he listen to them especially if it's coming from his loved ones?), OR he would name his pets after some kind of food.

#mdzs #yunmeng siblings #yunmeng shuangjie #twin prides of yunmeng #jiang cheng #wei wuxian

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princessanneftw · 1 year

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Sorry, Charles, but the answer to everything is Princess Anne

By Deborah Ross for The Times

This week, a royal quiz because, come on, you thought you’d get away without one? This week of all weeks? And if you actually did think you’d get away without one, and I don’t mean this spitefully, aren’t you somewhat dense?

However, in the light of the no-fluff, no-nonsense interview Princess Anne recently gave to Canadian television and all the admiration that unleashed, and in my belief that you don’t like to be overstretched on a Thursday morning, particularly as some of you are still recovering from the news that Jacob Rees-Mogg finds broad beans “loathsome” — it isn’t yet known what broad beans make of him; I will ask next time I push one to the side of my plate* — I have decided to make this easy for you.

The answer, in every instance, is “Princess Anne”. Again, I don’t mean this spitefully, but if you get one wrong you will have no one to blame but yourself.

● Who is the best king we’ll never have, would have been known as “King Anne I”, and would have told those Repair Shop people to “just get on with it” and stop blubbing all over the place and let me know when you’re finished as I have to go kick ass and am behind with kicking ass as it is? (“I get up at 4.30am to kick ass but the day runs away with me all the same, Jay.”)

● Who was not their mother’s favourite child, which, to quote Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman, proved “a big mistake. BIG! HUGE!”?

● Who sits somewhere between Kate being marvellous (and “dazzling”) for just wearing a dress and Meghan being an evil bitch and the new Stalin simply for adopting a different hairstyle?

● Who has never, ever suddenly adopted a different hairstyle and therefore can’t be either an evil bitch or the new Stalin?

● If someone attempted to kidnap you on The Mall and you thought, “What would a royal do in this instance?” which royal would most spring to mind? Particularly if you wished to tell the kidnapper, “Not bloody likely.”

● Ranking them in order, which royal do you suspect rolls their eyes at Fergie the most?

● If you had to bet on one royal retaking America, who would it be?

● Which royal was never dubbed “Randy Annie” or “Air Miles Annie” because they never adopted the kind of freeloading, entitled, licentious lifestyle that would one day bite them on the arse and have them running to Mummy?

● Who, of all the family, do you suspect most often swears like a sailor under their breath and would smoke Woodbines, if they smoked?

● Which royal would be most likely to run over Paddington in their Range Rover and not look back?

● Who demanded that titles weren’t conferred on their children, saying they’d have to earn their own money, and also, chances are, campaigned, albeit unsuccessfully, for Princess Eugenie and Princess Beatrice to get married at Hackney Town Hall followed by Nando’s?

● If a royal were to meet Greg Davies in a post-performance line-up, who would be most able to think up a brutal snub along the lines of, “A lot of ex-teachers become comedians. I can’t see why”?

● Which royal most probably inherited their mother’s Tupperware and will keep it going for future generations, thereby ensuring no royal cornflakes ever go soft?

● Which royal could probably get a potato to peel itself and leap into hot fat just by looking at it?

● Who sliced and diced Cherie Blair at Balmoral in 1997 by refusing to call her “Cherie”, as requested, and instead said, “Let’s not go that way. Let’s stick to Mrs Blair, shall we?”?

● Which royal taught their mother to use Zoom during Covid — “you should have six people on your screen . . . you don’t need to see me. You know what I look like” — but probably gave up on teaching her to text, like we all do, so no judgment there?

● Which royal probably couldn’t be bothered to even get their mother started with online banking?

● Who has inherited a look that amounts to wearing a headscarf tied under the chin like an old Greek lady guiding a donkey down a lane with a stick?

● Who has a look that, for some reason, never sells out everywhere the next day?

● Which royal did The Crown reveal to have been an absolute goer in their youth?

● Which royal did, in fact, have different hair as a young child and looked the spit of Harpo Marx?

● Which royal once reportedly said of Princess Diana, “I will not be pushed around by that brainless woman”?

● If you had all their numbers, which royal would you call if you needed a chicken’s neck wringing?

● If you had to come up with a royal who once appeared on Wogan while looking for all the world as if they’d prefer to have had their head on the chopping block like that other Anne, the Boleyn one, who would that be?

● Which royal do you most imagine would give you a horsewhipping** if you didn’t close the Tupperware properly, thus failing to maintain its airtight seal and letting the cornflakes go soft?

● Which royal has best withstood all the scandals as well as their own divorce and has provided so little grist for the newspapers we might as well all just go home?

● Which royal kind of reminds you of Willa from Succession, who sees everything that goes on in this family but knows if you get too involved you’ll be torn apart and fed to the wolves?

● Lastly, of all the royals, who would you name as the one who actually gets what being a royal is all about?

(*Funnily enough, I did push a broad bean to the side of my plate just now and it said: “The feeling is mutual”)

(**Or a savaging from her dog Dotty)

#i just thought this was enjoyable #my favourite one is the fergie one #princess anne #princess royal #newspapers #british royal family #brf #kciii coronation

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mrsmiagreer · 9 months

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I like all my kisses french

Warnings: A little cussing, kissing (Duhh😋), a little suggestive

Characters: Teen!Bestie (GN) × Teen!Blake

————————————————————————-

“Okay we can try again”

The giggles echoed in the room, two teens sitting on a bed. Bestie’s mom stepped out for just a little while, said she was heading up the street, back to the store, because she forgot an ingredient for the dinner she was making. Gave Bestie and their very trusted best friend Blake alone time in the former’s bedroom.

They’ve known eachother since 3rd grade, and have been inseparable since. Now, having just ended their junior year, they’re continuing to be inseparable. Just, in a more creative way.

Blake nodded and waited for Bestie to make the call on when they try again. For him, everything was at their pace, he had a lot of patience. He wasn’t fully paying attention by the time they were ready, he was too busy staring at their features.

“Everything about them is perfect” He thought

They soon gave him a small smile and wrapped their arms around his neck, knocking him out of his trance.

“Okay remember. Don’t fully lick, just press your tongue against mine. Got it?”

He nodded again before letting them come to him, placing his hand on their cheek as their lips enveloped each other. The kiss was slow at first, but quickly picked up the pace as Bestie opened their mouth a little wider, causing Blake to open his wider. Now it was less of a kiss and more of a make out session.

Blake so badly wanted to show Bestie that he was desperate and craving their touch all the time, but now wasn’t the moment. He had to be sure that they were sure. And he knew that day would come in a near future, so he wouldn’t rush it.

He followed their direction and gently poked his tongue out at their lip, hinting that he was ready for more. They obliged, and slipped their tongue into his mouth.

Their tongues moved gracefully against eachother. Blake’s hand moved from their cheek to their waist, pulling them a little closer to him, eliciting a moan from them. Their hand that was previously loosely draped around his neck moved up to his nape, holding the back of his head to press their lips closer together. The two were lightly moaning and cursing into each other’s mouths and gripping onto anything they could touch, seconds away from ripping one another’s clothes off and going all the way.

They were so deep into this kiss that they didn’t hear Bestie’s mom come back home. And they didn’t notice she was back home until they heard the click clack of her heels coming up the stairs.

“Oh fuck she’s back” Bestie whispered as they turned towards the closed door. They swung their legs out of Blake’s lap and threw their arms off of his neck, repositioning themselves to an appropriate pose. Blake brushed his half raised shirt down and quickly grabbed a pillow that Bestie kept around to cover his slowly growing bulge. They both pulled out their phones and pretended to do something on them before she came in.

“Hey you two, Dinner’s almost ready! Whatcha in here up to?”

“Oh nothing mom just playing a game”

“Not much really just texting my friends back”

The responses confused the mom a bit from trying to hear two people speak at once, but she smiled and turned around. Leaving the door open. Like any mom would.

“Shit that was close” They both thought, before laughing.

“Sooo…..How’d I do this time professor?” Blake asked, flirty and cocky smile on his face and leaning closer to them.

“Hmm…I’d give you a C- this time. Could’ve been better.”

“What?!”

“Looks like you’ll have to come back to retake your test huh?” Bestie teased

Blake blushed a little, understanding their message, and sitting up straight and looking them in their eyes.

“Bet”

————————————————————————-

A/N: Heyyy! Niyah again. So, nobody asked for this one but I’m literally in love with Blake, so i decided to write a little about him. Btw: I have no idea how well proofread this is, so i’m sorry if there’s any mistakes.

#redacted asmr #redacted audio #redactedverse #redacted headcanons #redacted blake #redacted bestie #redacted balance #mia makes a statement

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lawlznet · 4 months

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State of the Meme 2023

Content Warnings: Depression, Death, SH, Hatred, a lot of self deprecation What follows is an explanation and also rant about why I haven’t been online for this entire month. If you’d just like to skip down to what I’m planning to do in 2024, scroll all the way down to where the line break is.

---

Hey everyone, Lawler here. This is the “State of the Meme” for 2023 and for the purposes of this post, I will be speaking out of character; as myself, not the vtuber.

This has not been a good year for me and it is with bated breath that I look forward to the next one. As some of you may be aware, my father fell ill in late September, suffering cardiac arrest and other diagnoses besides. His chances of survival, much less recovery, were slim given his age and the extent of his complications, but in a series of miracles that I hope to not take for granted for the remainder of his, and my, natural life, he recovered enough to be transferred to a nursing home, and then back to our home. Few of his complications remain and we optimistically foresee him returning to his “pre-accident” state sometime halfway next year. In the days since he returned, around the week of my birthday in early December, he has already recovered enough to move around the house on his own- to feed himself (via a tube connected to his stomach), to prepare his own medications, and to slowly retake ownership of household duties that had fallen to me in the months passed- paperwork and such. Prior to this blog post, it was nearly impossible for me to find time away from assisting him; even our previously late evening streams or early morning and afternoon were not a sure bet, and in fact I had to cancel my participation in a stream on my birthday for this reason.

It is with cautious optimism that things may stabilize enough in my household, to where I could possibly return to vtubing with the regularity I afforded before.

But before that can happen, I have a number of things to talk about first.

I feel like I’ve walked with death all the course of my life, and that does not just include attending one too many funerals for family members, both young and old, or that of friends and acquaintances whom either had theirs taken, or had taken their own. I generally treat the concept as the great unifier of all people, regardless of race, creed, sexuality, or any other descriptor we may use to divide ourselves from one another. It is the one great certainty and on some level, I like to think that I give the concept more weight than most.

Then I find myself spending hours doomscrolling, consuming thread after thread of outrage over strangers I had never met, and only learned hours before. A-drop-in-a-bucket hot celebrity name does something immensely stupid, either intentionally or unintentionally, and I join the lamentation that someone with so much apparent wealth and status can afford to be so flippant. Sometimes I’ll even repost OP or bits and pieces of the thread, telling myself that these individual statements, crammed into 280 or 300 characters, are somehow so poignant so as to redeem the discussion; and that by not mentioning their names, I am somehow not adding to the problem.

The problem of using my platform to further magnify people who we spend a whole lot of words discussing as “evil...” and for what?

Is it fun? Do I feel better about myself? Does anyone, besides the subject, benefit from my “contribution?”

No.

I was depressed before I burned those hours away. My employment is shaky and in a side universe I might have been laid off. I rarely have time for myself anymore that isn’t in the wee hours before getting out of bed or the minutes before falling asleep from exhaustion. And I chose to spend it on reading about how someone I claim I don’t care about did something “horrible,” or at least mildly uncomfortable- about how a country somewhere is doing bad things to people they claim are bad, or “as bad,” or, nowadays, without any sort of justification- and when I’m not doom-consuming, I complain to myself that I don’t have enough time for anything.

That I hate everything.

And well,

I’m not wrong.

But I’ve had this conversation before. I’ve complained about it before, online and on social media and in private discords, and I’ve even, in my continuing hypocrisy, chided others about it. I might try to make myself feel better by telling myself, “oh, well you see...”

“Social media is a ‘necessary part of my job.’”

“You *must* expose yourself to constant, attention grabbing toxicity, and participate in its accumulation- its dissemination, its detached, virtue signaling, people pleasing, mock-outrage generating content creation.”

As opposed... to someone who just, reads reddit, screengrabs accounts with sub two digit readership with obnoxiously bad takes, watches political discourse tiktoks and uncited youtube video essays; yes, you see, surely these people and their misery are entirely *self* inflicted, as opposed to myself, who is “mandatorily” victimized, right?

It’s bullshit.

I hate it.

And so it follows that I must *also* hate myself.

Because I participated in it.

So,

I’m going to try to stop.

Prior to this I never publicized, but internally created some rules for how I interact with this “content” and the people who produce it. Most, I believe, are not intentionally malicious. We are just the successful products of an inherently evil industry; living proof that everything is working exactly as intended.

The only way out is to break the cycle, and in order to do so... I almost always avoid, and if necessary mute, or block, anyone who:

1) Makes generalizing, sweeping statements of an entire group of people,

2) Issues ultimatums on their public facing social media accounts,

3) Anyone who regularly disparages any group of people, especially people whom they are supposed to be a part of- e.g. anyone who regularly harps about “how terrible the vtuber community is,” without the slightest bit of introspection.

For the sake of my own mental stability and to gradually wind down my own involvement in making the internet a worse place, I have decided that beginning in 2024, I will:

1) Reduce or completely eliminate reposting, replying to, or commenting on, any political or negative thread of which I am not directly or indirectly involved, or are not a subject matter expert or hobbyist.

2) Remove all feeds, block or ignore all search terms, and avoid discussing or entertaining any of the above subjects in any capacity outside of private conversations.

3) If necessary, mute, unfollow, or block accounts which only seem to exist to further spread the above content.

As some of you know, I am a cyberpunk influencer and consider myself a “cyberpunk” outside of my online personas. I’ve also recently dipped my toes into the world of Linux and am eager to dive into the worlds of cybsec and opsec beyond browser addons and lists of FOSS programs. I’ve been into this subculture for the majority of my life and I don’t see that changing anytime soon; nor will I censor content that I deem directly or inherently related.

There’s a sheer cliff of difference between merely complaining about celebrities and a toxic online culture and explaining not just how, but *why* it is in your best interest to avoid or defeat these things. Within weeks of a certain major social media website’s fall from grace, a number of user created addons were developed to make said website’s use tolerable (OldTwitter by Dimden as an example); Youtube’s attempts at forcing adblock users to turn off their extensions ironically vastly improved these extensions (uBlockOrigin), and both of these addons, in addition to their “obvious” case use, have further ramifications for the end user than simply complaining about Former Billionaire 9000 and The Evil Company.

For one thing, it’ll save you money in the form of not clicking on malicious advertisements or shelling out a monthly subscription for something you could have gotten for free. But I digress.

These changes are a long time coming, and I apologize to the people whom I long promised I would “avoid” these things... only to return to them when it was convenient, or when I told myself that “this is a special exception,” or when I didn’t care, when I should have. You know who you are.

I’ll most likely fuck up again and find myself having this conversation with myself or in the illusory safety of a chatroom.

But you see... I’m in my mid thirties. And while its true that I have these conversations with myself and others, all the time, and I regularly beat myself up and hate myself for my participating in the “culture,” the truth is... every day, I am more and more grimly reminded, of what little time I have to do things I actually want with my life.

Of how my perception of time seems to be speeding up. Of how little potential time I fear I might have. I don’t just mean the possibility of the Four Horsemen riding and causing such an orgy of misery that will make the last ten years look like Christian cis heteronormative missionary with clothes on and the lights off. I mean the fact that it is atypical for my household to travel to family gatherings in individual vehicles, and that on that evening in September, it was only through sheer chance that we decided to attend my niece’s birthday party individually- that my mother had to be hospitalized for an illness herself, and that I, for reasons I don’t even remember, chose to drive on my own. If this had been any other evening, my father may have had a heart attack while we were all together in the family SUV. On a highway.

And as spooky as that scenario is, every time I get on the road, or even walk down my own street, I think about the possibility of dying. Maybe someone’s in a hurry and wasn’t paying attention while merging onto my lane. Maybe someone’s drunk. Maybe someone needed a twenty and thought they’d rob this weirdo walking around the streets at night and weren’t expecting a fight. Even when you set aside all the political, worldly garbage that trad-media constantly shits down the throat of an unwilling (and sometimes masochistic) boomer populace, you aren’t guaranteed whatever illusion of stability and peace you have right here and now. It could change as easily as the wind blows. And I think I am so tired... of burning so much of my life on shit that has done little for me except to make me upset, when I could have so much, much more to be upset about in the next few minutes.

I walk with death every minute of my life.

If possible, I’d like my last memory to be doing something I actually give a crap about. Or talking with, or about someone that I admire or care about. I don’t think I ever thought those experiences were a waste of time.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

Thank you for reading this far. And now, for changes that actually apply to my “real” content moving forward... (as in, actually applies to you because last I checked, I’m a vtuber, not a vtweeter or a vskeeter or whatever the shit they call it these days...) I’ve worked in corporate for too long. Even if it’s a long shot or doesn’t make that much money, I really feel like a career in the entertainment and art-space is a better occupation to strive for than pushing paper in the universally and permanently depressing healthcare industry.

I’ll keep streaming video games and fighting games will always be part of that routine, but for reasons I don’t understand, I’ve neglected first person shooters. That changes now. (I hope the kind of Doom y’all like are the video game kinds.)

I am in the process of dipping my toes into youtube short form videos and will be uploading some cringey garbage to just about everywhere except Twitter, because of changes to their terms of service which potentially gives total ownership of my IP to the website. Fuck that.

I miss virtual reality.

Those vroid comics take a ridiculously long time to make but god do I enjoy doing it.

I am greatly reducing my usage of Twitter, Bluesky, and Mastodon, aside from announcement posts. Twitter is nearly unusable even with a subscription and unlike Bluesky and Mastodon (which... are basically the same thing) are bereft of the tools necessary for curating my experience and Making Me Less Wanting To Kill My Self. So yeah, Fuck Twitter. But what else is new.

I don’t know what I was thinking when I designed this blog the way I did and by the time you read this, I’ve probably reset it to be a lot easier to read on the eyes, at the cost of not looking as “cool.” I’m going to be making fiction writing a priority again. I have some vtuber tabletop campaigns to write up and then to run.

If I don’t successfully finish in time for Christmas and New Year’s, I wish everyone a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

I don’t have a timeline of when I’ll be able to stream consistently again. Thank you for your patience with me.

Love,

Lawler Hix

#lawler hix #state of the meme #update #announcement #vent #rant #vtuber #envtuber

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clanwarrior-tumbly · 2 years

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Can you write something about Actor having a s/o that’s super lovey-dovey? Like they love showing him attention, going on dates, going to his shows, and giving gifts? My comfort character need some love- (also can y/n use he/him pronouns?)

Yeah sure!

........

This bitch just soaks up your attention like a damn sponge.

You've been a longtime fan of his movies and musicals (like The Dark Mark), going to see every production.

When he saw your face in the front row, his heart melted and he instantly knew you were the one.

Eventually you both started dating, with him learning of your “lovey-dovey” side and being absolutely smitten.

While hesitant to open his heart up again, he doesn't shy away from your affections, especially after you reassure him you don’t find him annoying or too needy (even though he acts super spoiled/entitled all the time, you look past that).

Dude’s craved validation since the 1920s and still wants more.

He can and will lay across your lap if he needs to rant, whether it’s about his makeup team or how many retakes he had to do for a scene.

Other days he just randomly comes up to you, pouting like “oh [y/nnnn] your boyfriend is feeling VERY ugly today :((("

“Nonsense, I’m looking at the most handsome guy in the universe.” You’d cup his face and give him a forehead kiss.

“Next to you, of course.” He tells you in a rare moment of selflessness. Every now and then he’d praise you....but you do most of that in the relationship.

He enjoys being pampered with your affections, words, and gifts (they may not be as expensive/lavish as the ones he gives to you, but it genuinely means a lot to him).

You can bet he’s gonna rub it in every ego’s face (especially Dark).

“Yeah, I got a lovely date with my boyfriend--a date that he planned because he loves me so, so much!”

Some worry that he’s “written” you to be this coddling romantic partner who’s at his every beck-and-call 24/7.

But no, it’s simply in your nature to be sweet and look past the flaws.

#clanask #anonymous #iplier egos x reader #actor mark x reader #actor x reader #male reader #fluff #headcanons

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humanitys-strongest-bamf · 1 year

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Hi, I saw another person's ask call you Kat and that's also what I go by! I'm 25(f) and although it feels weird for me to say it about myself, I've had numerous people tell me I'm sunshine, their own ray of sun, etc. I love going on adventures even if the adventure is just a long drive where I may or may not stop in a small town along the way. I studied international relations in school and love to travel. And while I work at a charity I love making art in my free time. If you could do cannonverse that would be awesome. Oh, and even though it's a physical characteristic one thing that I feel like says a lot about me is that I always have fun hair - if you look up sunset hair in Pinterest that's my current!

OMG that hair color is so beautiful i want it 😭

and i'm also 25(f)!!! 👀

A Perfect Date | 500-Follower Event

➼ although levi complains about positivity and high-energy, we all know that's what he needs, so that ends up being one of the things he secretly loves about you. if you ever gift him any of your art, you bet this man is going to keep it nearby. if it's small, he'll have a little box that holds it. if it's bigger, don't be surprised if you see it hung up and sitting on his desk in his office ➼ if its after the hole in wall maria has been sealed, levi would love to take you on a longer journey outside of the walls, maybe to a newly established settlement that they're trying to build to retake the island. depending on your preference, you'd either take a carriage or just ride by horse yourself, maybe stopping by some of the areas outside the walls that was previously unavailable because, you know, Titans ➼ you would spend the majority of the day or, if you were interested, even a couple of days. you'd explore around the area and spend time with each other, maybe mingling with the townsfolk and exploring the local culture or varying lifestyle due to being so far from the Interior ➼ if you had time, levi would offer to also take you on a boat to Marley, so you can explore more of the lifestyle and unique amenities that they offer. levi would give you a lot of autonomy on what it is that you want to do. wanted to explore the local coffee shops? sure. want to explore the coast? absolutely ♡

#drabble event #levi ackerman #levi ackermann #levi heichou #levi x reader #levi ackerman x reader #levi ackermann x reader #levi heichou x reader #levi hcs #levi fluff #kats levi hcs #kats levi fluff

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loregoddess · 3 months

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Frederica Aesfrost or Cordelia Glenbrook for the ask game?

Oh, I'll do both, they're both great!

First impression: For Frederica, it was something along the lines of "Oh, she seems cool, I bet I'll like her" when I was watching the early trailers. For Cordelia, after meeting her for the first time in the game I didn't...actually have much of an impression of her, she seemed very bland "youngest sister, most gentle-hearted princess" and nothing more (I was very wrong).

Impression now: Love them both lots! Frederica went well beyond whatever I was expecting of her characterization, she's really interesting and I love how she comes into her own and really starts standing up for herself and her ideals as the story progresses. And I was SO wrong about Cordelia, she's literally one of the most interesting and complex characters in a "royalty" role I've ever come across in fiction, and I love her so much for it. She's got an incredibly strong will, she's very intelligent, and she was actually shaping up to be a really extraordinary leader. I'm sad she gets sidelined in the story as soon as Roland's able to reclaim Glenbrook Castle, because she had all this budding potential to be one hell of a powerhouse of a character.

Favorite moment: Hmm, it's been a hot minute since I played TriStrat, so my memory of the story isn't as sharp, but I really enjoyed the scenes where Frederica fights against Thalas and Erika (in her route of Ch13, "Born of Strife and Sadness" specifically, although her battle dialogue with them in Roland's version "Time to Say Goodbye" is good as well). It marks an interesting turning point in her character growth, and it was really nice to see her finally oppose them without fear.

For Cordelia, I'd...have a harder time combing the wiki for the specific chapter, but all of her cutscenes from her father's death to Ch13, where we get to see how she starts to come up with a plan to retake Glenbrook, and how she's able to inspire Avlora to her side, those were really interesting scenes, and I had a new appreciation for her character after watching them because I simply wasn't expecting her to deal with the grief of loosing her entire family (as she didn't know Roland was still alive at this time) to be "well, I'm the only one left and I am Not going to take this lying down, I will be queen of my people in my own right". Just, mm, really interesting character growth, I would have loved to see the type of leader she would have become if things had gone differently.

Idea for a story: Well, I'm always interesting in post-game type narratives that explore how the characters and world begin to heal after all is said and done, and I think that type of story would be really interesting to explore for both Frederica and Cordelia, but in different ways. For Frederica, exploring how her life as the official Lady Wolffort is, and what work she does to help the Rosellen people after the war while also balancing her new married life would be really interesting.

For Cordelia, I think there's a lot of potential to explore the intricacies and power dynamics behind the scenes of Glenbrook's restoration, as I'm sure she ends up doing a lot of work to help Roland even if she isn't the official ruler (again, all that potential she showed as a leader, you can't tell me she doesn't take up some sort of important position in helping to lead the country)--all this while she also settles in to learning that Serenoa is her half-brother (I like to think she learns that at some point), and her life with Avlora as her knight, and just, stuff in general for her since she has a lot to recover from and grieving she can finally go through.

Unpopular opinion: I don't think I have any wildly unpopular opinions about Frederica. For Cordelia, I guess I'm not keen on the Cordelia x Avlora ship, I just...can't see it as romantic (and the age gap doesn't work for me, I'm fairly certain Avlora is in her thirties at the youngest due to in-game dialogue about when Svarog took her in), although I am partial the idea of the platonic knight-liege friendship between the two, but platonic stuff isn't as popular in most fandom spaces.

Favorite relationship: I'm really fond of Frederica's canon romance with Serenoa, like, normally I'm kinda neutral on canon romances, but the way this one was written was so, so good, and I loved seeing her interactions with the other House Wolffort members. I also like her friendship with Geela a lot.

For Cordelia, her familial relationship with Roland is very interesting (somewhat bittersweet at times), and I would have loved to see and know more about her relationship with Frani and their dad. As I mentioned above, I really like her friendship with Avlora, because it was so unexpected but it makes a sort of weird sense. Would have loved to see more of her interactions with the House Wolffort members, and also would have loved to see how she reacts to learning Serenoa is her half-brother and how that shapes her relationship with him and Frederica after the game's events.

Favorite headcanon: Hmmm, I don't have as many headcanons for TriStrat in general but, I guess for Frederica that in Benedict's ending she eventually ends up breaking away from and opposing Serenoa so she can take up defending the Roselle (probably sometime shortly after Benedict's death), and that in the Golden Ending she grows into an excellent leader for both the Wolffort Demense and Roselle people alongside Serenoa, and the two are fondly remembered by their people in histories later on.

For Cordelia, it would be that her capability and tact for government makes her vital to ensuring Roland's rule is successful in the Golden Ending, and also that she eventually becomes very close with Frederica and Serenoa after learning she's related to Serenoa (catching up on family time), enough that if the two ever had kids she'd be the favorite aunt (she'd be their only aunt technically, but she probably spoils them more than Roland would).

#reply's a bit late bc I got Very Sleepy partway through #to be fair I started writing this all Very Late At Night after I got up Very Early for a morning shift at work #so I'm probably forgetting a lot of details from the game so uh...yeah sorry 'bout that #ALSO I STILL HAVEN'T PLAYED THE SPECIAL CHAPTER THING THAT GOT ADDED #so I know I am missing some post-game details #but anyhow I love these two a whole lot #TriStrat was a really excellent game and I loved all the characters so much but god do I love these two #whenever I do replay the game I think I'm gonna pay extra attention to things so I can figure out how Cordelia would like #interact with all the other characters #I think it would be neat to explore how she gets along with everyone actually #anyhow yeah I love TriStrat a lot #kelbunny #ask game #I still don't have an ask tag

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worms-i-think · 2 years

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Letter in a Recipe Box.

~1k words, angsty, rosa-centric. I was thinking about our attorney’s parents and wondering about their family dynamic, so what if it was…like this? This is one of my first times actually writing something through to post, so lmk how it feels :)

————

Hi Mom,

It’s been a while. A lot has changed since the last time I wrote you a letter—I’ve been really busy lately, but things seem to be going well. The team and I have been working hard, and I’ve barely had time to catch a break, but at least I got to deep clean my bathroom this morning. Someone’s got to tell me to stop buying cosmetics and skincare products in those adorable tiny bottles—they’re everywhere. I know you’d scold me for leaving them all over the counter if you could see me.

Luke and I made dinner the other day. I didn’t think asparagus could retain that much water, but sometimes miracles happen, I guess! At least the two of us tried. Peanut could’ve eaten some of it raw, but there was too much oil and seasoning for him to have it safely, so Luke said we should start a compost with our failed food attempts. Even though that was a joke, I think composting is a good idea. I love the idea of having a lush, green apartment, you know? I’m just not sure how many plants I could raise at a time.

He and I have been really close lately. I know I said in my last letter that he’s changed a lot since we were young, but I honestly think that’s for the best. He’s the same Luke, just older and closer than before. Plus, he looks like he’s having fun too.

The more I hang out with him, the more I think back to my high school days. Remember when I got my license and Luke and I almost crashed into a telephone pole while we were getting poster board for a project? I still drive extra cautiously around that intersection.

I joke that I’ll have to retake Driver’s Ed soon because Mr. Wing takes me so many places. Still, I think he likes being my chauffeur, which makes me glad. Of course, I still have to drive myself to my own things too, so I don’t depend on him all of the time. Imagine if I made him drive me to the gynecologist last week? I think he would’ve fainted.

Oh, Mr. Wing makes really good food too! He’d probably make much better asparagus than Luke and I do, but if he came for dinner I think I’d have to drag him along as well, since apparently we need to know what good asparagus tastes like. Luke talks about you from time to time too. He misses you, I think.

That reminds me, you haven’t met the rest of my coworkers yet—Marius has gone on a pottery kick since I last wrote to you, so he’s decided to add a wheel and kiln to his studio. This isn’t too surprising to me, because I know he’s got plenty of money and space to afford all his crazy endeavors. Still, it’s funny that he chooses to start so many equipment-specific art hobbies without ever replacing his old oil paints. It’s endearing how he treats his crusty brushes.

He’s got a brother, did you know that? His name’s Giann. Marius hasn’t seen him for around two years, but he still talks about him when we’re alone and the rest of the room goes quiet.

Mr. Wing made me his General Tso's Pork this weekend, one of the things Professor Hume taught him to cook. While we were out doing fieldwork, he reminisced on all the things he’d said about law…between that and the stories about the camera and the amusement park that I told you last time, I think he sounds like quite the character. I wish I could’ve known him as a mentor instead of just a professor. I wish I could meet Giann, too. They both sound like wonderful people. Maybe we’ve all got someone missing.

Oh, but speaking of Marius and his pottery, I bet you’d love the floral design on this teacup I’m drinking out of. He’s really amazing at painting—it’s so interesting to watch him work. Marius was painting a similar one for Dr. Richter the other day, cracking himself up because the flower bouquet subtly formed a bit of a…phallic shape. If Dr. Richter had any less composure, I’m pretty sure he’d break it over his head. I can already see his cold glare now. I do have to admit, I like seeing the members of our team joke around, even if they pretend they hate each other afterwards. It’s amazing to see them warming up.

Dr. Richter hasn’t talked to me about you yet. I’m a little surprised, considering he’s a psychiatrist and we’re such good friends, but I think he’s trying not to tread on anything sensitive.

It doesn’t always feel sensitive all the time, though. Sometimes I feel okay on my own.

When Luke and I were making the asparagus a few days ago, I told him I had the instructions for a seasoning I wanted to try, so he started looking around the counter for my recipe box. I told him I kept my favorite recipes saved on my tablet, which is true, but I didn’t mention that I keep the recipe box on my nightstand nowadays. I’ve been stuffing these letters in there for months. I started writing them sitting at the counter around the time I started at Themis, but I didn’t know where to put them considering I don’t know where to send them and I’m not sure you’d respond. It’s somehow become a little stash of notes and memories.

Though I’ve heard that writing letters and throwing them away is cathartic, I couldn’t get rid of any of them. Maybe you’ll need to read them some day.

Thanks for the Christmas card, at least. Maybe it would’ve been nice if you sent a note. If I’m being completely honest, it made me bitter, arriving a week late with a wad of money and no return address. Happy holidays, I guess. And I’d just come back happy from a party with my coworkers.

I’m sorry I wrote that. You know the feeling when you get so sad you lash out at people? I try not to be that person as much as I can, especially in my line of work, but when I’m alone like this I remember how much I could’ve shared with you and it just hurts so bad that I need to say something to get it out, otherwise I’ll have another migraine in the office like I did after my holiday break. Please don’t be mad. I know that probably makes it seem like I hate you, but I really never could.

Tell Dad I said hi. I’m sorry I got so mad at the end of this one—life’s been a lot lately and I miss you a ton. I promise I’ll be more positive in the next letter.

I love you.

See you soon,

Rosa

#tears of themis #tears of themis rosa #rosa qiangwei #angst mwahaha #‘recipe box’ doesn’t have a Wikipedia entry and idk if they’re a worldwide thing but it’s just what it sounds like.#a small box w handwritten lists of instructions/ingredients #my great grandma needlepointed the cover of mine. miss her lots <3 #when I was little I hid notes to my future self in that box so this concept is a personal reference I guess #anyway! I’m rambling! But I hope recipe box implies box w recipes :)

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theblackpromethean · 2 years

Text

Solar return observation 2021-2022

As you can see I get a lot pretty good year so far. Like I loved my solar return chart when I saw it. I have a 2, 3 house stellium with a Taurus and Pisces one.

My dominant planet were mercury, Neptune and Venus this years. And my years was pretty like that. I basically travel for my Erasmus and lived in Paris right now we’re you have a lot of short travel with the metro. I won’t argue about the effect of the planet but if you want ask question and I will tell you how I lived and still feel those.

I will talk about the square and their effect on my life.

So yeah as you can see I have a moon and Pluto squaring my sun. The Pluto is much more like that I’m on my twenties crisis (22 Rn). The moon can be traduce by the fact that I lose popularity as I cut some friendship due to the lack of sincerity in some. I’m Plutonian so you know I kill before it happen and I love being the villain.

I got Uranus squaring Saturn also but I don’t see the point even if I look at it by taking the house ruler and the meaning. I do receive a house this year but yeah that’s all.

The other are more interesting. I talk about my mars squaring rising and my Venus to. Pretty basic actually in term of situation.and meaning (being to superficial or aggressive..).

If I look at the house it get different. Mars is my 4th house ruler I get into argument with a family member. Venus is actually my 10th and 5th house ruler. I made music for 2 years but rarely talk about. My family members and other people notice it as I’m expressing more about that. And I’m becoming much more disciplined that I was. Mainly because I can’t be good or get notice in music without consistency. So I try my best to be organized…

But most shocking was my Mercury conjunct my north node. It is squaring by Saturn. And Mercury is my 9th house ruler. I got a lot of retake exam cause I stopped going to school or uni (lack of motivation…). I need one year to get my master in finance. To make it short. I had this bet with me since I’m a kid that I don’t need to practice because I have insane learning skills. I do think that I have over 130 IQ. But yeah life come and I had to step out of my dream (Pisces stellium). Plus I could get fired because I lack ects and didn’t done a internship…

As I said Saturn hit straight in the face and gave me massive lessons. I got to a point where I want to be the best this year at my study. Which is unreal for me. I’m really determined… Idk but I feel like this year is difficult but I need to keep my behavior and I feel that it will pay of.

And to finish my NN in the 5th house. I start sharing my stuff online but I stop hiding myself and actually talk it with friends. Also I’m looking for date people massively. Life is getting funnier like I was when I was a kid. Sound weird with all the difficulties but yeah.

I hope that it was pleasant to read or think how it effect my life.

#solar return #astro observations #astrology #astro notes

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servin-up-surveys · 2 months

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survey #199

Have you ever bought a YouTuber’s merch? I have two Cloak shirts, which is owned by Markiplier and jacksepticeye. I would love to have more products by YouTubers with how much of my time goes into watching their shit lmao

Do you think oatmeal tastes better when made with water or milk? MILK. It's not even a competition.

Have you ever left a note in a library book? No.

What time of day do you prefer to wash your hair? Daytime, because I have more strength in my legs early in the day.

Has anyone ever spread lies about you? Yeah, I'd say by the time you're an adult, most people have dealt with this to some severity.

Have you ever taken a photograph with a celebrity? If so, did it turn out the way you wanted, or do you wish you could retake it? No. I'm kinda scared to do this even if I had the opportunity, because first of all I'd feel annoying, but also, I'm sure I'd hate how I looked in it lol.

If you could move out of your home country permanently, would you? If so, where would you go? Not by this phase in my life. I know and cherish too many people here to leave. I hate the U.S., but I love these people more than I hate this county.

Do you think that after we die our spirit is still alive? I think so, at least in some way, but I won't bet my life on that. Honestly I'm fine with the concept of after death, there's nothing. No awareness. I really think it adds more beauty to life while we have it.

Have you ever felt like you were someone’s rebound? No.

Did you have a lot of role models as a kid? I wouldn't say A LOT. It was mostly people like Steve Irwin or Jeff Corwin, Jane Goodall too.

Do you feel like anyone looks up to you? Why or why not? Big no, because what's there to look up to? What've I got goin' on over here? I don't mean that in a pity-hungry sort of way, I just factually am not doing inspirational things, other than fighting mental illness I suppose.

Who is the nicest person you know? My mom.

Do you feel safe in your country? Not really, no, because I'm just waiting for a bomb to drop on the capitol, and certainly NC would be in the blast radius. I'm pretty convinced that's how I'm gonna die, tomorrow or 40 years from now.

Do you know anyone who has been struck by lightning before? Not directly, but my mom did get shocked one night during a severe storm when she was just running water into a soda can to clean it before disposing of it. She's joked that she's still waiting for her new powers to come in, lol.

Which cartoon character would you want to keep as a pet? An Eevee or Vulpix.

Do you like marshmallows? Yes.

Have you ever fostered an animal? No, I'd never be able to let it go.

Have you ever thrown up from cramps? No, thank christ.

Would you ever start a vlog? No.

What are your favorite spicy foods? Hot wings or things like spicy Cheetos or Takis.

Did you feel insecure in high school? I was WAY more confident in myself than I am now. Like yeah, I did have some insecurities, but they're NOTHING compared to now.

What was your favorite class in high school? Art.

If you’re female, would you feel uncomfortable having a male gynecologist? I would 1,000% refuse to see a cis male gynecologist. If you do not have a vagina yourself, I'm sorry, I don't trust your reasons for wanting that career.

What gives you nightmares? Just going to sleep, dude. I have some sort of nightmare condition that's baffled the doctors I've seen.

Were you ever hospitalized as a child? No.

Did you get senior pictures taken? No.

Would you rather wear ivory or white on your wedding day? What color will your bridesmaids wear? I'm probably wearing black. I want the theme to be black and gold, but I'm going to assume gold bridesmaid dresses are expensive, so we'll probably do orange, idk.

Do you think babies are cute? Some are, but very rarely are newborn/very young babies even remotely cute. It happens, but. If I think your baby is cute, you did good lmao

Have you ever moved to another state? No.

Can you say the alphabet backwards? No.

If you were to make videos on YouTube, what would they be of? I have no idea, I've thought of this.

Posting pictures of yourself in a bathing suit on the internet - ok or not? Of course it's okay, I personally just wouldn't do it because I'm too self-conscious.

If you’re in a bad mood, would you rather be with friends or alone? Alone.

What’s the last thing you took a picture of? My cat being cute.

Are you good at remembering birthdays? god hell no, I wish.

Do you listen to podcasts? I don't, except sometimes when I'm in the car with Girt, he'll occasionally have one on instead of music.

Would you rather watch a movie in a theater or at home? The theater, for sure. I enjoy that experience.

Who’s the messiest person you know? My sister's kids, lol. I know the vast majority of young children tend to be messy, but those three are next fuckin level, my mom can't stand it because she raised us girls completely the opposite.

Are you close with any of your exes? No.

What’s your favorite type of cheese? I'm such a basic bitch, American. Most cheeses I don't like.

Can you read sheet music? I could once upon a time, I played the flute all through middle school and almost all of high school, but I couldn't anymore.

Have you ever lived in a mobile home? No.

How many times in the past week have you eaten fast food? Once, I wanna say.

Do you prefer carbonated or uncarbonated drinks? Carbonated.

Favorite thing that you can see up in the sky? The moon, stars, aurora borealis... so muchhhhh

Friend asks you to hide drugs, booze etc for them, do you do it? Nope.

You fill your best friend’s Xmas stocking, what do you put in it? Some Sour Patch gummies, maybe a pair of socks, a Buffalo Wild Wings gift card or something, uhhhhh... I'm not sure of the rest. He is so super hard to buy for, considering if he wants something, he's able to just buy it. It's not just me, even his mom and sister struggle with presents for him.

You fill your worst enemy’s stocking, what do you put in it? Nothing, because I'm not interested in investing my time into her.

You fill your OWN stocking, what do you put in it? A Mountain Dew Voltage, my favorite Reese's bar, a book, gift cards I guess, maybe some video game.

If someone gave you a kitten, would you keep it? I'd like to, but I don't think Mom would be game for it because Tobey (landlord) would supposedly have a cow.

Favorite type of cracker: Cheez-its.

Animal you like to watch but sort of creeps you out: Centipedes.

Bagels or English muffins? Bagels.

Who is a family member you look forward to seeing on a holiday? My dad.

Do you do anything to recognize St Patrick’s Day? No.

Who mows the lawn at your house? Well because it's winter we haven't needed to, but during the warm months, Mom used to pay Nicole's ex to do it, but she hasn't been pleased with his supposedly very uneven and rushed work, so she gave the daughter of a dance mom a try last, and she was super impressed. I'm definitely assuming she'll pay her again this year.

Where do you keep your phone at night? Normally, it sits under the pillow that Girt uses when he's here, but if he spends the night, then I just sit it on my bedside table.

Best Happy Meal toy you ever got: Oh I have no idea.

Do you like the color yellow at all? It's one of my least favorite colors, actually. I do like a very light, pastel yellow, though.

Who sings the last song you listened to? Till Lindemann.

Have you ever watched South Park? Who’s your favorite character? I have, with other people. I was never really into it.

What member of your family are you most similar to? In which ways? My half-sister Katie. We struggle very similarly mentally and are alike personality-wise.

If you could have any animal as a pet, what would you have? At this current time, a tarantula. Preferably a Brazilian Black.

Do you ever shop at Aldi? Do you even have one nearby? We have one very close actually, and Mom will go there every now and again, primarily with Nicole if she wants to go there.

Do you enjoy rhododendrons? Look man, I enjoy basically any flower you could name. I just love them.

Have you ever met someone who supports Nazism? Yes, Sara. She liked to be "technical" about it in calling her branch Neo-Nazism, but she was still a fucking Nazi, I had her explain her way of thinking plenty because I was trying to understand that she wasn't politically evil but never did. She didn't believe Jews deserved to die, but Hitler and his doctrine were her political idols. Which is evil, if you somehow forgot.

If you’ve ever been to another country, what was the best thing you did there? I haven't. :(

What’s the worst sickness you’ve ever had? Some fucking insane stomach virus I had as a teen, I'd say. I will never forget hurling my guts up past the point where only bile was coming out. The abdominal cramps were mental.

Is your favorite animal something you can have as a pet? In certain countries, but thankfully not here in North America. I aggressively wish that it was illegal everywhere, like there is no case of you giving a meerkat everything it needs to be well, all the while saving your house and personal relations with how territorial they are.

Are you good at gardening? To be fair I've never really tried. I did help Colleen's in-laws with their personal garden quite a bit one summer, and I can tell you I FUCKING hated it, because of how out of shape I was but even moreso because of my hyperhidrosis, but I've never tried it on my own. I'd actually quite like to get into plants, and I'd LOVE to grow specifically berries when I have my own place, but I have strong doubts I'd care enough to maintain everything. Depression already makes that challenging with other things.

What was the last classic novel you read? Did you enjoy it? The Yearling, I loved it.

Do you own any pet fish? What kind of fish are they? No, pet fish aren't my thing.

When was the last time you took your pet to the vet? What was wrong with it? Quite a few months ago when Roman apparently had an ear infection.

Have you ever known someone who was in an abusive relationship? I know multiple people who have, and one who still is.

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