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boywifesammy · 1 year

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john & abuse - a study

the first few months after mary’s death, john was silent. dean had never seen such a blank look on his father’s face. he didn’t know it at the time, but he’d never see that vibrant look of joy from his childhood ever again.

john drank, but he mostly kept it to himself. at least at first. he hid the empty bottles where dean couldn’t find them and kept an eye on sam, though he never stepped in to intervene when he started crying.

more than scared, dean remembers being confused. he remembers sitting for hours on their dirty living room rug rocking his sobbing baby brother back and forth in his arms, trying to decipher john’s muttered slurs from the other room.

it was a year before john was lucid enough to be of any help. dean nearly jumped out of his skin when his father hugged him. he smelt of cigarettes and beer, but he was warm, and gentle, and dean hugged back.

‘i took care of sammy,’ he reassured his father. dean didn’t know the word for grief, but he felt the painful clench in his chest when he thought about his mother. it was there when he thought about his father too, but it didn’t bother him so much anymore. at least he had sammy.

john took dean’s face in his hands, staring down at him with heavy eyes. his beard was too long. his hair a shaggy mess. he looked dean in the eyes, and nodded curtly. good job, maybe. or, more likely, okay.

then he walked away, and dean sat there for far too long, wondering why he didn’t feel anything at all.

hunting life was different. john had a passion for the hunt and when they were on the job, he ate, sleep, and breathed violence. there was a jerky quality to him all the time, like he had two eyes peeled for the enemy and another on the back of his head to make sure that dean had his hold on his brother. when they did local hunts, dean would see it firsthand. the switch from whiskey to cigarettes. sharp daggers spread out across the motel bed. missing person’s reports and esoteric literature tacked up on the ugly wallpaper.

sometimes dean missed mary, missed how warm and soft she was in a way that john never was. but mostly, he was happy that his father was fighting for her. fighting for their family. fighting to keep dean safe, so that dean could keep sam safe.

dean knew what PTSD was. the full clinical title was lost on him but he saw it first in john’s war vet buddies, and now in the few hunters they ran across. dean recognized it right away. shuttered eyes. shifty movements. sleeping with one hand under their pillows, unchecked anger that could storm to the forefront practically unprovoked.

dean never gave it a name, but he knew about PTSD. he saw it in his father too. john never beat them, never hit them, barely even yelled at them. and if he did yell, dean knew he deserved it. he knew it was out of love, because dean couldn’t make mistakes, they just couldn’t afford it. not in this life.

john never beat dean but he got edgy on hunts. erratic. pulsing with so much misdirected anger that sometimes the mere presence of another in the room would send him into a frenzy. so dean doesn’t blame him for anything that happens on the job. it doesn’t count, not really. so what if john hit him in the side with the butt of his rifle on the last salt and burn? he walked right into that ghost’s trap. or when he beat him unconscious last friday? dean was possessed. he didn’t want to, he had to. and when he made dean sleep outside in the shed last winter? it was a rough hunt. dean disobeyed, and sammy got hurt. he deserved all of that and more.

dean didn’t count the training either. hunting wasn’t an easy life, and he didn’t blame john for that. if anything, he revered his father’s tenacity and wit. nothing in life comes easy. of course john knocks him on his ass during every training brawl. sammy sure as hell isn’t old enough for dean to practice with, and monsters don’t go easier because you’re little. so what if he faints a few times during PT, or if he has to fight on a broken bone, or if he sees black from exhaustion when he stands up too quick? it was dean’s fault that he threw up blood after john made him run endless laps around the motel parking lot. he should’ve drank more water.

dean knew it was all worth it when they came back from a successful hunt and his father ushered him into the bathroom to fix him up. when he stitched dean closed and gently wiped the blood off his skin and told him not to worry, that chicks dig scars. sometimes he even let dean sneak sips from his flask, and dean would sit real still with his shoulders squared, letting the buzz cover the pain.

dean knew it was worth it because the better he was, the less sammy had to suffer. he never bore the brunt of john’s rage during hunts. after all, he was just a kid, if he fucked up it was on dean for not teaching him right. sam could run more laps than dean and he had a killer shot and he’d never had to puke blood for it. he never had to fight dad. he’d only ever passed out twice, and each time dean was there to drag him back into the motel and feed him small sips of gatorade.

john was never there when dean woke up. dean didn’t blame him, there were more important things he had to do and dean would be fine. he knew how to take care of himself. ‘concussed?’ his father would text a few days later. ‘no,’ dean would text back, even if he was, because it wasn’t like there was anything john could do to help.

but dean was always there for sam. he made sure that sam never puked blood or passed out or cried because his stitches were too tight. he was his little brother, his little sammy, and if anything happened to him… hell. dean would die. he’d just die. he couldn’t take that.

sam left for stanford on a clear, gauzy summer night. he argued for hours with his father. dean stood to the side as he watched and didn’t say a word. john never beat them but he got irritable, and that meant bad hunts, and bad hunts meant extra stitches and bone-deep scars and those kinds of injuries that only hospitals could treat.

dean never understood why sam was so hellbent on overcomplicating their lives. they had it good. sam was safe, dean was loved, and john— well, john got by. he kept it together, for them. for dean. he kept dean safe so all he had to worry about was sammy, and now sam was leaving.

‘come with me,’ sam had asked him on the sidewalk. he had a massive backpack strapped to his chest. dean’s heart was breaking into so many little pieces.

‘sammy…’ he’d whispered back, because, god, this wasn’t how it was supposed to go.

‘come with me, dean. you don’t have to stay with him.’ anger willed up in dean. the same hot-cold anger that he saw in john when sam disobeyed.

it almost made him feel good. loved. righteous. he was his father’s son and he was made of scrap metal and leather and motel carpet, but he was loved. cherished. god, he was full of so much love. why couldn’t sam see that?

‘i’d never leave him. why the hell would you even suggest that?’ sam’s eyes went hard. he laughed, bitter and ugly, and shook his head.

‘you know what, dean, i always knew you’d choose him— this life— over everything else. over me.’ and dean wanted to scream, because how dare he. how dare he, when he never had to puke blood, or wash out the vomit from his father’s clothes, or wake up every morning to the heat of their mother burning on the ceiling.

but dean knew that deep down, this was a good thing. it was a sam thing. it was a boy who had the freedom and the love to be more than a weapon and a boy who was loved so much that it let him be selfish.

sam sneered at him, spitting out his words like they burned in his mouth.

‘you’re a goddamn coward.’

then he left, and dean didn’t stop him.

#oc #abuse mention #supernatural #spn #spn meta #john winchester #sam winchester #dean winchester #aghhh g gg #I AM DEEPLY UNWELL #on the floor curled up into a ball sobing incoherently #i am sorry for this 1 folks #the deanjohn disease is deep in my bones and i am 2 weak to resist #i hate john as a man #but i love him as a character #so this is both my personal fuck you to him and my love letter to his Insanity #sorry not sorry #i will never shut up about them

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rqg179 · 9 months

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it's the fact that the apology in episode one is "would you like a 'i think i said the wrong thing' sort of apology or can we take that as said" it's the "i want a proper apology" "no" it's the i was wrong dance being a set routine that doesn't have to be truly sincere it's the way they've known each for so long that they both don't think something could really ruin their relationship, not permanently, it's the way "aim for my mouth but shoot just past my ear" becomes "nothing lasts forever" its the way they've spent 6000 years talking and never saying what they really mean

#this is incoherent but i am unwell about them #my post #good omens #gos2

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nonbinary-alien25 · 2 years

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i'm just so sofneur92ie8rjfnkanxienxi*÷,%>2[$,3>$&#,$[3>3,SIDI3NTISBXBF XO2O34I29XNSNEEH@($,÷>$,@(÷[3&339SIDNEI about avalance. like you don't understand

#actual depictions of me about avalance ^#avalance #sara lance #ava sharpe #alien's friday night thoughts #like you don't understand I'm just so *incoherent screaming* about them #i am Unwell and they make my brain go AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH #i am not okay I jsut love them so fucking much??

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yandereshingeki · 7 months

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work was. interesting today

#i just got home… and i have a free day tomorrow which means finally in the right headspace to write #i wrote some last night but i wanna finish the mini fic i got the ask for tonight and keep working on other stuff tmrrw….#big tag ramble sorry lol ->#anyways…. at work? tw for emetaphobia but first like…. 30 minutes into my shift #i had to run to the bathroom to puke because I got nauseous from moving around so much which doesnt usually happen but??? im not used to #morning shifts so thats probably why #and my stomach just hurt after that.. so bad #and then I vibed until a few hours later…… when an old guy fell over in the parking lot and we had to call 911 because he was incoherent and #could barely get up #but he was embarrassed about it so he was trying to drive away when he was clearly unwell and after i got my manager he tried to pull out of #the parking spot and almost ran him over #parameds got there and it was basically a big fight with him trying to leave and them just trying to make sure he was ok #and eventually he was checked and stuff and let go but 3 of my managers almost got run over in the process lol #and it was also so SO BUSY from like 7 am onward #i couldn’t round carts up to put back inside because there were almost NO CARTS IN THE PARKING LOT which means nearly all of them were being #used by customers INSIDE… so hard to keep up when that happens #anyways….. im going to relax now in the shower

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posallys · 4 months

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all right here is my word vomit live watch

IMMEDIATELY i am slapped in the face by toby stephens as poseidon i am FERAL

THE LUKE AND PERCY PARALLEL “LOOK, YOU DIDN’T WANT TO BE A HALFBLOOD” OH MY FUCKING GOD

THE MISSING LUKE AND PERCY TRAINING SCENES OH DEAR LORD THANK YOU THANK YOU

“When am i ever going to use this” percy i LOVE YOU

“So you can use them against your opponent” OH BOY

Finally some action i love a good sword fight

But where's annabeths necklace imma kill people

Ooh some god strength okay okay tasty

HELL YEAH POSEIDON POWERS FUCK HIS SHIT UPPPPPP

“I WARNED YOU. IF YOU'RE NOT CAREFUL, YOU'LL FIND OUT WHO I AM” OH I LOVE THE ENERGY YESSSS FUCK YEAH

GO OFFF PERCY

“AND YOU THOUGHT YOU WERE JUST A KID”

Ares didn't curse him i hate it here

OH WHAT IS THAT VOICE

OH MY GOD THE CABIN SOMEBODY SEDATE ME

this can go one of two ways

“Violent seismic activity” MMM YUMMY

UH HULLO THIS IS NOT WHAT I EXPECTED ALECTO!???

I lied there was a secret 3rd way this could have gone and it happened

OOP THERE’S THE NECKLACE

“Where's the glory in that” wow tell me you don't understand Percy's character without telling me you don't understand Percy's character

“I don't have an appointment” THATS SO FUCKING ICONIC OF HIM

Wait i kind of fuck with this olympus i was picture all white and pristine but this FUCKS

“SHOULDN'T THEY BE JUST AS AFRAID OF US AS WE ARE OF THEM” OH MY FUCKING GOD. OH MY GOD. HOLY SHIT

“you're learning fast” OH MY GODDDDDDDDD

“Things that are small and scary….” BROOOOOOOOOOOO

the show has rights for the luke and percy content and posally and percabeth and that's IT

LANCE REDDICK ❤️❤️❤️ greatest of all time rest in peace ❤️ (you'll always be Cedric daniels to me)

Ohhh king he does a bad ass zeus

Where's poseidon though DONT TAKE HIM FROM ME 😭😭😭

Lance ily

Lance reddick zeus you're perfect to ME

OHHHHH YES GOOD SHIT

percy jackson king of audacity

AGHHHHHJJJDHH POSEIDON I LOVE YOU BRIAN BROMEN OH FUCK YES IM. SNKDKKWKWJFKMQ3LI4HRND IM VIBRATING NRJNW OHMYGID

IM THROWING UP OH MY GOD

“I SURRENDER” OH BROTHER DO I HAVE THOUGHTS THOUGHTS TOO MANY THOUGHTS FUCKKKKK

OH MY GODDDDDDDDDDDD IM GOING TO PUKE

TOBY STEPHENS LOVE OF MY LIFE

I HAVE NEVER BEEN MORE UNWELL IN MY ENTIRE LIFE

SHUT UP NOBODY TOUCH ME

“OBEDIENCE DOESNT COME NATURALLY TO YOU DOES IT” ohhhhhhhh brother call me an ambulance

“I must take some of the blame i suppose” so you CAN read the books you just chose not to for the other 7 episodes….

THE SEA DOES NOT LIKE TO BE RESTRAINED FUCK YEAHHHHHB BROTHER

HIM ONLY UNDERSTANDING THE WORD FATHER IM GOING TO KILL MYSELF IM SOBBING

POSEIDON SMILE IM DYING

I DIDN'T LEARN IT FROM CHIRON AND THEN POSEIDONS FACE OH FUCK IM PUKING SHAKING CRYING

IM SO SO SO UNWELL IM LITERALLY INCOHERENT

“Ares is a moron, as you noticed” STOP I LOVE HIM THERES THAT ASSHAT POSEIDON ENERGY IM LOOKING FOR

“of course we dream, why do you ask” “DO YOU EVER DREAM ABOUT MOM” I AM DEAD I DIED I ASCENDED IM FLOATING LEVITATING FLYING OH DEAR LORD OH MY GOD IM SO SO SO ILL

TOBY STEPHENS THE MAN THAT YOU ARE POSEIDON THE MAN THAT YOU ARE OH MY GOD HIM GOLDING PERCYS HEA DIM VIMITING SHITING MYSELF KILLING DYING DEAD DJFICJJWOKDKDJN FUCK ME FUCK FICK

TOBY TOBY TOBY YOURE PERFECTVTHE PAIN THE FACIAL EXPTESSUINNS IM DYING DEAD

THE PEARL KILL KILL KJAJDJWKKDJJDJDUEJJ2NH3H

I AM HYPERVENTILATING

Not to be greedy BUT WHERE IS THE QUEEN AMING WOMEN WHERE THE FUCK WAS IT YOU CANNOT GIVE ME ALL OF THAT AND THEN NOT GIVE ME THE MOST FUCKING ICONIC LINE OF ALL TIME WHAT THE ACTUAL ABSOLUTE FUCK I AM GOING THROUGH SO MANY EMOTIONS WHATBTHEFUCK

there's still 20 minutes left taylor breathe it can still happen

PERCABETH HUG MY RELIGION

annabeth luke percy trio is SOOOOO interesting to me

I hate percy knowing :( ur a bit too perceptive buddy but it's okay

“I DIDN'T THINK YOU'D GIVE THEM TO GROVER TO WEAR” SHOOT ME IT WOULD PROBABLY FEEL ABOUT THE SAME

THE GODS ARE MY ENEMY, YOU IM HERE TO RECRUIT OHHHHH BROTHER

OH HELLO BACKBITER LORE OKAY

LUKE I GET YOU I UNDERSTAND

I MET YOUR DAD *SLASH* OH THEY GOT HIM THEY GOT HIM GOOD

LUKE PERCY FIGHT MY EYES HAVE BEEN BLESSED IN THIS DAY

PERCY APOLOGIZING HONEY UR TOO SWEET

ANNABETH OH FUCK OH HELLO

So tell me what are the plans for ttc now lol

I HEARD EVERYTHING ANNABETH HONEY COME HERE I NEED TO HUG YOU

I must ask….where the FUCK was this energy the rest of the season this episode is literally so insane it almost makes up for the rest of everything

“How does she feel abt all of this” ooh yummy i like the foreshadowing

“I imagine she's thrilled” WRONG thalia would stomp freddy chases head in if given the chance

LEAH UR BRAIDS ARE GORGEOUS

stop percy had HEART EYES 24/7 FOR HER IM GOING TO COMBUST

“JUST BE A KID” IM SOBBING

THE SEARCHERS LICENSE IM CRYING SOBBING UR PERFECT GROVER

“I'LL FIND YOU” FORESHADDDDDDDOWWWINGGGGGGGG

“NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS WE MEET BACK HERE NEXT YEAR”, OH I LOVE THEM IM CRYING SOBBING OH MY BABIES

MONTAUK IM GOING TO KILL MYSELF FUCK DUDE U CANT DO THIS

i want poseidon to be there i know he wont be but i NEED it

Stop honey percy ilyyyyy you're such a sweetheart im kissing ur forehead and tucking u in

OH HELLO “IT'S TIME TO WAKE UP” WOOOOAHHHHHHHH OKAY

“WE'RE STILL DOING THIS” LMFAOOOOO

“TURNS OUT IM PRETTY GOOD AT THIS….COME FIND ME” CRAZY

……MOTHERFUCKER if they dont show gabe dying im gonna riot

WHERE WAS THE REST OF MY POSALLY 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 YOU CAN'T GIVE ME SOME AND THEN TAKE AWAY THE LITTLE FROM THE BOOKS

WHERE IS SALLY MURDERING GABE HELLO

AHHH END SCENE LOL AH THE BOX

THE IMPLICATION THAT IT WAS ALL POSEIDON……..WHAT IF I DIE OH MY GOD

#please ask me things #pjo tv #percy jackson

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herlock-olmes · 5 days

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Vincent.

Vincent Anderson x reader

Because we all love mentally unwell Benedict Cumberbatch characters

Summary: Vincent comes to his best friend he'd known for years after another night of arguing with his wife and drinking

TW: Cheating, spoilers, harsh language, angst

“Jesus Christ, Vincent.”

She said with a groan as she saw him standing in her hallway. The windows of her apartment had a soft pattering sound as the rain water hit against them, the soft, orange glow from the street lights sneaking their way in through the thin curtains. It didn't take a genius to figure out it was late at night. Vincent however, seemed too drunk out of his mind as he stood in front of her. Even if she didn't take in the smell of his breath, he looked like crap. Water dripped from him, onto the hallway carpet beneath him, his eyes holding a hint of tiredness, not just from the lack of sleep.

“You look like shit.” She said, but still stepped aside, allowing him to enter her apartment. She sighed softly as she closed the door behind him, not pleased with the trail of water he left behind in his wake. “You and Cassie had a fight again, didn't you?” She asked, though it was said like a statement. She walked over to him as he mumbled something incoherent. He shedded himself from his coat and scarf carelessly, rolling her eyes as she took them from the floor, placing them on her rack.

“I take it, you're gonna sleep here again.”

“Where the hell else am I supposed to go?” He questioned, seemingly stating the obvious by his tone. “Lennies… maybe your parents?” She suggested. “Fuck my-” He was about to speak, or rather slurred, cutting himself off with a sigh. “You know how I feel about them.” He finally said in a much calmer tone, but the irritation was still evident in his voice.

With a slight shrug, she walked into her kitchen, turning on the light as she grabbed a glass of water. Vincent flopped himself down onto the couch like he had done so many nights prior. Her bare feet were heard against the ground as she returned to his side, handing him the glass. “Drink.” She ordered.

She sat down next to him as he took the glass from her. “I don't even know why I'm bothered at this point.” She muttered with a little bit of humor, despite her tired voice, as she let out a small sigh. “At this point I should make a room for you.” Vincent let out what she was sure was a faint chuckle as she said this. Without realizing it, a smile formed on her lips. “That would be very convenient.” He stated, placing the glass on the coffee table that sat in front of them. “Maybe I can have my couch back in the mornings.” She replied with a small giggle of her own.

“Maybe…” he replied, settling back down. She gave him a small frown, her smile fading quickly. She could sense that something had happened earlier that night. Vincent did drink very often, however she could tell something else was on his mind. “Do you…” She started, not sure how to approach this subject “...maybe, want to talk about it?” She suggested softly. Her hand come up to his shoulder, squeezing gently as a way of comfort. She felt him tense under her touch, but not pulling away. He let out a breath after a long moment, speaking in his gruff, and strained voice.

“It's Cassie and work. Nothing for you to be concerned about.”

It was clear he was trying to brush it off. Not wanting to push the matter, knowing how he can be when discussing these sort of subjects, especially when he was drunk. Still wanting to add some sort of reassurance, she spoke once more. “Well, you two have been married for a long time. Not every relationship is perfect.”

Her tone had a touch of sadness in it. Throughout the years she had been friends with Vincent, she had formed a sort of crush on him. Feeling like she knew him better than anyone, and being considered close friends by many. She would be lying if she said she was happy seeing his family split. She never had anything against Cassandra, and was even friendly with one another. Any young person would probably jump at the opportunity to be with the one they developed feelings for if they had the chance.

But after seeing everything he went through, his parents, the medication they made him take, the frustrations of the addictions and even his home problems. She only wanted to see him happy, to see the genuine smile on his lips, that wasn't just from a moment of satisfaction, or making his point known after being a jerk. Without realizing it, her hand snuck over to his, squeezing him gently as she sat there in thought.

She only snapped out of it when she felt him return the gesture. She turned to face him slightly, giving him a small smile as they sat there in the dimly lit apartment, with the rain andcar horn going off in the distance. Basking in the peacefulness of the moment, a break from their demanding and grueling life. Even if they both knew they would have to face it again when the sun rised in a few hours.

They held each others hands for a long while, him feeling her hands, which he found delicate and soft in contrast to his own rough hands that held small cuts. His nails were a little sharper than usual. He had to cut those, he considered. “Your a good person Vincent.” She whispered softly to him, not finding a reason to speak at a normal volume as they sat right next to each other, their faces were inches apart as she continued “your just a fucking asshole most of the time.”

He let our a small cackle at this, the smell of his alcohol which still lingered in his breath didn't smell as bad as it did before. She finally took a moment to appreciate those eyes of his, she had admired them for the longest time. How they appeared blue in certain times, green in others and gray every so often depending on the lighting. She always loved that detail, they were by far the most beautiful eyes she had seen.

She didn't know if it was the drowsiness or the atmosphere itself, but did he appear more handsome than he already was? His glasses were ever so slightly smudged or have the occasional partical. But despite this he seemed to only be focused on her. Just like she was on him. Her eyes trailed his beard, appreciating the look of it. Matching the curls which adorned his head, she wanted to reach up and feel the bristles beneath her fingertips if her hand wasn't within his own, his high cheekbones contributing to his attractiveness to her. He squeezed her hand yet again, soft. She let out a small hum of satisfaction as she leaned her head closer even if it was subconsciously.

They sat like that for a few moments longer, enjoying the quiet company of one another. She could have sworn she saw him lean in closer to her face.

Before any of them realized it, they leaned in until their lips made contact. She closed her eyes as did he. A small groan could be heard escaping the back of his thoart as he felt her soft lips against his own. She could feel the hair on his beard softly scratch on her skin as she kissed him back. One of her hands leave his, cupping his cheek gently, as she rubbed along his cheekbone in admiration. She could taste the vodka on his lips, but she didn't care. In fact if anything she may have craved a little bit more of it at this moment. Letting go off hers, his hand came around her lower back, resting there as he hesitantly pressed her closer. She sighed against his lips, letting him know she was fine with it.

Vincent groaned against her lips as he started to kiss with more passion. It was probably the druken state he was in, but she tasted amazing against his lips. He felt an intense hunger as her press his tongue against her lips silently asking for permission, which she granted. He immediately started to explore her mouth, like some starving man. In a way he was, he was starved for too long, wanting affection, needing it.

She moaned against his mouth, feeling him invade her mouth, which she allowed. How could she not? She slowly took her hands off his face, instead opting to wrap them around his neck. Pulling him closer against her. “Oh Vincent…” she said softly against his lips.

Suddenly he froze. The way she said his name, reminded him of Cassie, his wife. Then he remembered Edger. Oh god what was he doing here? Slowly he pulled away, she let out a soft “huh?” as he did this, immediately standing up and wiping his lips, leaving her confused as he started to make his way to the door “This was a mistake.” He said to himself as he put on his coat and scarf. “What- did I do something wrong?” She asked as she walked to him. “This, is wrong Y/n.” He simply stated as he continued. “I'm married and I don't plan on cheating on her.” He muttered. “Vincent, it was just in teh heat of the moment I-” he cut olher off again, putting on his scarf quickly “Your right. It was in the heat of the moment.” He turned around as he began putting on his shoes.

“You can still spend the night.” She offered kindly, seeing where he was coming from but not wanting him to leave on the dark, dangerous streets of New York. Especially when it was raining. He still shook his head, not even wanting to listen to her suggestions. “I'm just going to go home to my wife and son.” He said once more. Finally, he walked towards the entrance door. Unlocking it with ease before slidding out of it. “Vincent wait!” She tried to call out for him, but the door quickly closed behind him.

Leaving her standing in her dimly lit apartment, the soft pattering could be heard as she stood there looking at the door with disbelief and hurt. Hurt that he would just leave like that. Hurt as she always remembered she will be nothing more than just a friend to him. As much as she would love to take that role, she couldn't. As she stood there, the silence in the room sounded much more louder than it was, and the emptiness lingered around, but it was different compared to earlier.

She let out a shaky breath before turning around to go back to her bedroom.

#eric #benedict cumberbatch #benedict cumberbatch x reader #vincent anderson x reader #vincent anderson #benedict cumberbatch imagine #netflix eric #eric netflix #hmu if you wanna be tagged

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sophsun1 · 5 months

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that brian/michael scene you just posted from 2.19....i basically word vomited in the tags but i still don't feel like i'm explaining myself well. my brain just went [incoherent beached whale noises] and then i died. brian my baby boy...my baby boy

Hey!

"He doesn't owe me anything."

I am unwell. Baby boy, baby indeed 🫂

Listen, your tags were perfect and far more coherent than I could be.

And you're right and you should say it... the miscommunication and lack thereof is what killed them.

As Brian tells Mel in 2.16 he thought they were good and that Justin knew he loved and cared about him, yeah he never verbally said it but through all his actions.

Brian didn't want to explicitly tell Justin to stay, he wanted him to do that of his own free will! But Justin wanted him to say something, anything, to give him a crumb so he would know he wanted him there!

As you say they spoke AT each other, with both of them waiting for the other to make a move, instead of laying their cards on the table and having a proper conversation with each other.

Eventually when they reunite in 3.08 we get Justin saying "Now I know what it is you want from me and what I can expect from you"

They finally get on the same page and are unstoppable for the remainder of season three, they are a team.

#soph asks #god their breakup is so painful but so needed #i just want to shake them both and yell at them to talk to each other #he doesn't owe me anything... oof what a line #*lays face down in the ocean*#your analysis was on point!#queer as folk

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joes-sha-la-la-la-girl · 2 months

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Support

Def Leppard x Reader

Masterlist

For @steveperrysorgasmicpipes

A/N: So as requested this is a fic where the guys look after the reader. I incorporated a condition which I have and the symptoms which relate to me. Obviously each person with Hypermobility Spectrum Disorder is different, and not all symptoms relate to everyone. I am happy to answer any question about the condition as I am trying to be more open about it whilst I come to terms with my diagnosis. Writing this fic has helped a lot and I hope you enjoy it. Also thank you to @elliotts-personal-property, @bring-on-the-heartbreak-joe and @i-love-def-leppard as well as all my lovely mutuals who have been there for me recently, I appreciate you all 💖💖

---

Groaning, I sit up as carefully as I can and climb off of the hotel bed. From experience, I knew it was better to move around rather than sit still and let all my joints stiffen up even worse. I also knew that I had to go to work, hence the reason I was in a hotel room in the first place.

Being Def Leppard’s assistant definitely had its perks. First of all, although the hours were long, the entire band was understanding if I couldn’t make it into work one day. Not that I had ever told them about my condition and had instead made up excuses as to why I couldn’t work on my bad days.

I was hoping it would remain that way. Unfortunately after hearing all the cracks of my joints as I stood up, I knew that it would take more than a hot shower and some painkillers to help me today. Taking a deep breath, I got ready for the day as quickly as my body would let me. I was hoping that I would be able to hide the pain but as I walked out of my hotel room, I felt myself walk with the familiar limp from the pain in my hip.

Def Leppard were on tour with Mötley Crüe and whilst I didn’t have too much interaction with the other band, I was really hoping that today of all days would be one where I could avoid them altogether. However, that was not meant to be as both bands were sitting down ready for breakfast. Plastering a smile on my face I went over and joined them.

The only good thing was at the moment it was just the two bands there and that their wives were not on this leg of the tour. This meant that there were less people I had to hide my pain from.

“Morning guys.” I grinned at them all, hoping to disguise the wince I made as I took the seat between Joe and Phil that had been saved for me.

There was a round of ‘mornings’ coming from the group, most of them almost incoherent as they struggled to wake up for the morning.

Despite feeling unwell, I knew I had to eat on my painkillers so I decided to grab a few pieces of fruit and just nibble on them whilst trying to engage in the conversations around me. As much as I tried to hide my discomfort, I knew I had failed when I saw Sav looking at me concerned over the table. As I looked into his blue eyes, which had not faded with time, I saw the question that was lingering in his mind.

I subtly nodded my head at him and gave a small smile, trying to convey that I was alright. However, much to my dismay, this had only attracted the attention of Joe who was seated to my right.

“You okay Y/N/N? You don’t look right.”

Quietly I took a deep breath yet again and looked towards him, knowing that if I didn’t he wouldn’t believe the lie that was about to escape my mouth.

“Of course, I'm just tired. Didn’t get enough sleep s’all.”

It was very obvious on his face that he did not believe me but he did not press the matter any further in front of the others. Instead, he just looked at Sav and then the rest of his own band, all of them talking silently, something they had mastered over the years. The only upside was that the guys of Mötley Crüe hadn’t noticed that something was up. Whether it was deliberate because it didn’t concern them or they were really that oblivious didn’t matter. I was just grateful I didn’t have another group of eyes trained on me.

When we finished breakfast, the bands had a day off so all I had to focus on was making sure everything was ready for them when they next perform. This meant that I should be running around all day between the hotel and the venue. I was dreading the day ahead of me, knowing roughly how it would go. I knew I would have to keep myself hydrated and well fed to try and prevent the dizzy spells as well as carrying my joint braces and supports just in case.

I carefully made the trek back up to my hotel room, vaguely aware of the eyes that are on me as I leave. I carefully pack my bag for the day, making a mental note of everything that I have to get done. Just as I am about to leave I hear a knock at my hotel room door. Gently padding over to the door, I try to ignore the limp in my step. When I get there and open the door I am shocked to find all five members of Def Leppard standing there.

With a sigh I move out of the way, allowing them all to enter the room. They quickly made themselves at home with Rick, Vivian and Phil sat on the sofa and Joe and Sav perched on the foot of my bed. The two men on the bed allowed me room to sit in between them. Reluctantly I made my way over. Usually, I wouldn’t mind sitting and talking to the band, but right now, when I knew all they wanted to talk about was me, I would rather be anywhere else.

“So are you gonna tell us what’s going on or are we all gonna have to guess.” Joe started though his voice was soft and filled with concern. As I looked around, all I saw was five sets of eyes staring back at me waiting for a reply.

“Honestly I’m fine. I’m just a bit tired.” I told them wanting them off of my case.

“Don’t lie to us Y/N.” Phil spoke, his tone the same as Joe’s. “What is really going on?”

I sighed as I looked around again. It was obvious they were not going to leave me alone until I told them what was going on.

“I have a condition called Hypermobility Spectrum Disorder.” I started as I looked down at my lap. It wasn’t that I was ashamed of my condition but it was hard for me to talk about.

“I was diagnosed a few years ago but I have been having problems since I was about nine. There are multiple symptoms but the main ones that affect me are chronic pain, fatigue and dislocations. It is incurable but there are things I can do to lower the pain. Some mornings though I just wake up and I know that it is going to be a bad day.”

“How come you’re only telling us this now?” Sav questioned with worry flooding his face.

“I didn’t want to be a bother to anyone. There's not much anyone can do anyway.”

“You still should've told someone Y/N/N.” Viv spoke up. “How many times have you gone through the day in pain and we haven’t noticed.”

“I don’t know. Look I appreciate the concern and everything but I really have to get to work.”

“Are you joking?” Joe scoffed, his eyes wide.

“Umm no, I can’t just stop everything…” I was interrupted by Sav.

“Yes you can. You’re in pain Y/N. You can’t possibly work like this.”

“I have done in the past.”

“Only because we didn’t know then.” Rick interrupted this time with a pointed look on his face.

Realising this was a battle I was going to lose, I gave in.

“Fine. But I can’t stay in bed all day, if I don’t keep moving then my joints will seize up and I’ll end up in more pain.”

“Whatever you need Y/N. I’m just going to make a few calls so that you can have as long as you need off.” Joe told me before going to leave the room.

When Joe came back the entire day was spent with the five of them looking after me, despite my insistence that I could do it myself. A few times we went for a walk around the hotel corridors so that I could move around a little bit. Overall the whole day was a lot more comfortable than I originally planned. They had made sure that I was taking my pain meds and eating and drinking enough.

The only time there was trouble was when I had a subluxation in my knee, which is where my knee had a partial dislocation. Whilst painful it was something I could deal with myself. Luckily I had my knee support on hand to strap my knee back up. By the evening time, all of them apart from Joe and Sav had left.

“So Y/N/N, are you going to tell us the real reason as to why you didn’t tell us about your condition?” Joe asked. I looked between him and Sav and I could tell that just like earlier, I wasn’t going to be able to avoid the question.

“When I tell people about my condition they always look at me differently. Whilst I knew that all of you would be the last people to judge me, I’ve gotten used to not talking about it.” I told them, hardly being able to look them in the eye.

“We get that Y/N/N but don’t let yourself be in pain again, alright?” Sav smiled at me.

“Yeah okay. And thank you for today.”

“It’s no problem at all.” Joe smiled as he patted me gently on the shoulder.

Sav did the same and the both of them smiled at me one final time before they left me alone for the evening to get ready for bed.

Over the next few weeks I continued to work with only a few problems but I noticed that all of them looked out for me. Things like offering to carry a heavy bag or walking slightly slower so that I could keep up and if I was honest it was making my life so much easier. Part of me wished that I had told them sooner but at least now they were all aware and I didn't have to struggle on my own anymore.

#def leppard #joe elliott #phil collen #rick savage #rick allen #vivian campbell #ellen's fic #def leppard fanfic #def leppard fanfiction #def leppard x reader

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iamthecomet · 9 months

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These fuckers are gonna kill me one day what the actual fuck

THESE FUCKING GUYS. Don't worry, Wil they're going to kill me too. I am so unwell about them. Literally, I got hit with the Per back photo and then this two entire seconds later and I am DOING FUCKING GREAT NOW. I have so many thoughts about this picture, and them but my brain is mostly just incoherent screeching right now. HHNNHHGHGHASDF..

#comet comments #wil #unmasked ghouls #cos #per #FUCK

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androgynousblackbox · 3 months

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Welcome to Hazbin Vale. 2 [Appleradio]

Good morning, listeners. Your good friend Alastor is here once again. Today you may forgive me for not being on my usual high spirits, for I find myself rather annoyed.

But Alastor, I know you must be asking. What could possibly annoy the always friendly and law abiding radio host that we know and love? That doesn't sound like you at all! I know, I know, I am nothing if not patient, dear listener, but even I have my limits. There are certain things in this world that must not be tolerated.

That weird static is there again. Please ignore it.

Unfortunately, until that weird static calms down, I am afraid that I will have to keep the suspense alive. For now, let's start today with our favorite piece of news: the obituary!

It seems that last night the old man Jenkins has finally passed away. This morning his neighbors were congregated around his house, in front of the open door. It was a disaster inside, you could see it even from the street, like a hurricane had stopped by and stayed a bit longer than planned. Tragic, absolutely tragic. Jenkings was a tolerable member of this community who we all could more or less remember clearly.

If only his own curiosity wasn't getting the best of him. That was always one of his biggest flaws, whether he would admit it or not. And his imagination, my! He had a bit too many, especially after just a few beers in the local pub. Oh, I know that those who were there know exactly what I am talking about.

Babblering on and on about all these strange and unexplicable murders that happened in our town. Talking about how once this was a pacific and normal place where everyone could feel safe. Truly delirious, that poor man. I almost felt pity siting next to him and hearing his incoherent conspiracy theories. He was convinced that someone in our precious and wise community could be the responsible for those deaths! I could not believe my ears when I hear it.

He even said he had some kind of proof that he was planning to give some friend reporter. But I am sure that if someone were to have a look all over his house, like that hurricane seem to have done, they wouldn't have found anything at all out of the ordinary.

So, clearly, that man was just suffering of some kind of brain tumor that was pushing against whatever rational thinkings he had left after a lifetime of wasting away being a parasyte for society. Quite pitiful.

Of course I had to help him out get home. What kind of monster I would be if I left someone so obviously unwell to go completely on their own at the mercy of the night? Obviously I don't mean it for anyone in our town.

But there are beasts out there who won't stop no matter how much you beg. Creatures that feed on your screams and laugh on the face of your demise. Things that no sane mind could ever hope to comprehend.

I am talking about raccoons, if it wasn't clear enough. Those damn monsters have been making a disaster out of everyone's garbage lately. So this is your friendly reminder to please lock up your garbage tight and keep it close, where it should have stayed in the first place. Don't share no matter how much you want to make a conversation out of it, like some other people could. Some things are best left unsaid.

After a lovely conversation about the stock market, I was off my way. For any police officer who may be listening right now, Husk, first of all, fix your hair, you shouldn't be judging anyone with a hair that messy. Second of all, how about lay it off with the donuts? If you want a heart attack so badly, goodness me… you just have to ask.

Indeed, everyone is going to miss old man Jenking. If I may give an advice, save the ink on the wanted posters. There are dogs who would appreciate the attention so much more and it would be infinitely more productive. At least with the dog there is a possibility to find them.

Unless a raccoon got them. But who would want to hurt the best friend of men, right, listeners? Only if they barked at the wrong moment, I suppose, bringing unwanted attention when it's the least convenient for everyone else. But they tend to be smarter than that. Beasts know to bow down when a bigger predator is around, after all.

The family of old man Jenking haven't officially dennounced his death yet, so I guess this is kind of a spoiler? I imagine it will take around a week for the idea to fully sink in. Someone could probably accelarate the process by showing what was left of our dear old pal. If only something was left in order to do that.

Please, forgive me if I laugh a little too much. I just keep thinking of an old joke I heard one time, one that has nothing to do with what I am talking about right now. I can't help it. Oh, but you wouldn't get it, dear listener. You should have been there.

Ah. I did needed that pick me up. I think I am on a better mood now to relay to you what soured my morning. After I do, I do hope you understand my state of mind.

I was on my way to the station when I remembered, silly me, that I forgot to buy something for lunch. I had a bunch of new meat to prepare, but nothing to accompany it! I was thinking so much about that old joke that it completely slipped my mind. Naturally I went to the supermarket and there, right there, in front of the dairy products, was the single most offensive view I have ever seen on my life.

He was a tiny man. Minuscule even. Such a small being that I could probably hold it on my pocket and squish it until his eyes pop out. Even at a distance I could see that his head wouldn't even reach my own chest. What kind of man lets himself be so small and vulnerable? Don't you have any dignity or it doesn't fit inside that microscopic frame? At least use some heels, women do it all the time!

So that was the first insult, dear listener.

But then this tiny man took out the sun hat that he was wearing and his hair was so stupid that I wanted to vomit right there. Yes, listener, as you heard! So stupid, shiny and silky, as if nobody in this town has anything better to do than to stare in awe and imagine what would it be like to caress it with your fingers. What a grostque display of vanity! How is that even allowed in public? Who gave this tiny man the right to have that stupid perfect hair? Second insult!

Oh, if only had ended there, dear listener. Maybe then that could have been just an unpleasant memory and it could be it. But he wasn't alone, you see. He was talking with that clerk with an eye patch that says "my creepy comments" on here are hilarious. I think her name was Cherri? I don't know what she means by that, but as long someone appreciate my work I guess they can't be that bad. I might even forgive her for what she did next.

She presented us! Right there! With no warning or preparation prior! Because I talked about that damn new toy maker that just moved to town on the last episode, she thought she was doing me a favor by just telling me that this tiny man with the stupid hair was that toy maker all along.

The one time that the youth decide to pay attention to what I say and this is what I get!

Lucifer Morningstar, said his name was. Have you ever heard about anything more pretentious than that? I seriously doubt that is his real name at all. Husk, if you ever want to do anything useful in your life, you should check on that. Someone with that hair and that tiny body and those big stupid blue eyes could never have a name like that. It can't be real. The feeling in my gut is telling me so.

And he said that oh, I was just getting to know the town and everyone told me about you. Oh, and are you really the radio host of this town? And oh, that must be so fun and your job must be great! Oh, I will have to take a listen sometime!

He just wouldn't stop! I wanted to grab him by the collar of his shirt and shake him until he felt as dizzy as I was getting listening to him! I would shake the answer out of him if I had to!

WHY IS YOUR SMILE SO WHITE!? WHAT ARE YOU HIDING?! I KNOW YOU MUST BE HIDING SOMETHING. NOBODY IS THAT NICE AND PERFECT!

AND CAN SOMEONE DO SOMETHING ABOUT THAT STUPID STATIC ALREADY, I CAN BARELY HEAR MYSELF HERE.

Oh-oh.

FUCK!"

"Apologies, dear listeners. We seem to have an sudden power outage. Luckily we have back up power regenerators while the fusebox is getting repaired. It seems to have exploded out of nowhere for no apparent reason at all. How completely unrelated to anything we were talking about here.

I had time to calm down now. I am good. Just don't pay any mind to the red splatters outside of the building, I am sure it's nothing. Maybe some teenager's new graffity or something as inocuous as that. That would explain the abandoned shoes I had no time to pick up.

Anyway, I think I didn't even finish my story, did I? Well, after that very horrible and disgusting encounter, "Lucifer", if that is even his real name, said that he was looking forward to opening the toy store with some of his new inventions real soon.

Clearly a money laundering scheme. Husk, look it up. Why it has to be me the one to tell you to do your job?

I think we all learned a lesson today, dear listener. Some things are best left unsaid and sometimes people should stay on their own towns and not comes to new places to talk with new people who didn't ask for them to be there. Sometimes change can stay unchanged. Sometimes change can be bad and quite upsetting. Why would you wanna risk it?

Ah.

Now, the weather…"

#appleradio #duckiedeer #radioapple #wtnvau #hazbin hotel au #my fanfic

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thegeminisage · 8 months

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WRATH OF KHAN breakdown

i watched this movie with catherine maulthots six days ago and liveblogged it incoherently on a notepad file on my phone because No Way was i opening this devils website when spock could die any moment. i am recording my experiences here for posterity

firstly i did know going in that he was going to die. this made me wracked with anxiety. more on that later. actually when kirk walked up and was like ha ha arent you supposed to be dead i almost lost it .5 seconds into the movie

absolute first thing was that we werent sure whether or not the thing in the beginning was a test. absolutely LOST MY MIND when i realized it was the kobayashi maru. every ten seconds during this movie i went "omg an aos reference" even though i knew it was really the other way around. somehow i thought mister perfect tos jim wouldn't cheat on the test so when they sort of hinted at what he did but didn't say it i was FROTHING to know more

bones's gay little posture. that's it that's the whole bullet

bones coming to jim's place at night was like the opening of some retro gay porno. DELIGHTED to find out that jim's allergies were not in fact an aos fanon but based in both aos and tos canon (re his little old man glasses)

mad that all of the movies seem to flirt with whether or not james t kirk should retire or captain a starship and then never resolve that question ever. it's like will shatner's insecurity about aging was leeching into the very script. girl we ALL KNOW what he should be doing so either shit or get off the pot

birthday gifts cute though. oh my fucking god. a book and glasses and he shows up with both repeatedly throughout the film

khan's tits were amazing. even as an asexual, even queer as a two dollar bill, i am full of admiration for what he had going on. he was rockin it

when they put the little worms into chekov and terrel cathy was like "omg THATS why they called them khan worms" and then i got to say "omg spn reference" instead of "omg aos reference" and we were so excited she wasn't even mad about it. also, they were so gross, oh my god, i couldn't look, she had to tell me when it was safe to unhide my eyes

meanwhile we're also mercilessly mocking the oversight that allowed khan and chekov to know one another. how did that plothole make it into production

EYE personally was very shocked at the amount of non-annoying women in the movie (two??). i liked both saavik and carol though i had to google to see if saavik was a human or vulcan. VERY cute that spock gave her the wheel to fuck with kirk specifically even though anyone but kirk being captain is so WEIRD. spock can be acting captain but not actual captain!!!

i ALSO knew from spoilers that carol had had kirk's fucking child which i may have accidentally also ruined for catherine so when a woman with an adult son mentioned james kirk onscreen we both became a little. unwell.

khan's "i shall have him" this sort of sexual tension is one of many things missing from into darkness. NOT that i want to see b*nedict c*mberbatch have that with anyone bc he is quite literally so ugly i have to cover his face with my hand when i watch into darkness but they should have cast a better person as khan and then made him have sexual tension with kirk.

cathy on the khan worms coming out of chekov's ears: wow, i love that! me on the same thing: i hate it

khan's "i wish to go on hurting you" no comment

khan yell REALLY GOOD. glad to see some things never change. william shatner was like i have been and will ever be a huge fucking ham

when carol marcus went "can i cook or can't i" i decided to go ahead and start liking women again. nature is healing, etc

if i had seen kirk pop that apple in his mouth while talking about how he didn't like to lose before i wrote gambler's knife. well. the fic probably wouldn't have changed much but my brain chemistry has certainly changed now. i can't explain w human words. AAAAAAUGH

spock's line about "sauce for the goose" was so out of character we had to check the transcript and make sure that was him speaking and not kirk. "sauce for the goose"??? sir, you're a vegetarian

the cgi was surprisingly good in whatever version we watched. it really holds up, which is ironic considering we had 20-minute vistas of it in the previous movie, where it was just okay

spock's death. i cried all the way through. don't text.

i did have a vague idea of what was going on when he melded with bones bc you literally cant avoid spoilers but i didn't have Details so i was very shocked for a second until i remembered

SPOCK'S FUNERAL. oh he would have been insulted to hear jim call him human!!!!! but he WAS

kirk trying to run away from his kid was really good. if i hadn't been blinded with tears i would have really enjoyed it. didn't like the "you've never faced death" bit though bc OBVIOUSLYYY he was on tarsus iv.

anyway then they panned to the coffin and i was like SURELY HES GONNA POP OUT AND SAY SIKE but he didn't. he didn't and i just had to live with that. and we had planned to watch search for spock immediately the next day but fate intervened and i had to skip it TWO DAYS in a row and nearly died. the end.

also, i didn't realize the book spock had given kirk was the one he quoted at the end!!!!!!! really horrible.

#personal #star trek blogging #wok lb #GOD!!!!

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everythingisoak · 9 months

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this is very incoherent, but I am unwell about Erdan/Lucanus and Lucanus/Jollene I have to do school, but I can't stop thinking about them. If I fail year 12 it's because of them.

"She used to razz me and I used to enjoy it" Like come on!

also, the whole flashback with Illsed.

AT THE END OF MAGE MADNESS IT IS IMPLIED THEY LIVE TOGTHER!

I am mostly thinking about the fact that Lucanus didn't know Erdan had died until after the fight.

FUCK

#if anyone wants to talk about them DM me #naddpod #Erdan/Lucanus #Jolene/ Lucanus

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whysamwhy123 · 7 months

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Still unwell and I'm going to babble incoherently under the cut about my blorbo DG again because it's my blog and I'll do dumb shit if I want and I'm sick right now so I can't be held responsible for anything, those are the rules OKAY

DG absolutely tried to pick up girls while dressed as Waluigi. I am fascinated by how this man's mind works. He is the fuckboyest fuckboy who ever fuckboyed and I just find that so compelling? I'm wanting more and more to write some weird character study of him for a fic. Like, a multi-chapter fic that's just him Doing Stuff and being weird about it and angsting over the state of his life, just full on psychoanalysis. But, like, nobody would give a shit? Because there wouldn't even be a pairing, it would probably just be Daniel's internal monologue as he goes about his life, facing setback after setback, challenge after challenge, loss after loss and then trying to distract himself/numb the pain by going out with his boys, partying, dancing up a storm (because he just wants to DANCE GODDAMNIT) and trying to get laid. Literally, I'm imagining every fucking chapter would ultimately be about which girl he's trying to take home this week and what stupid fuckboy way he goes about it. Maybe sometimes he succeeds, or maybe he fails yet again and goes back to his hotel room feeling profoundly alone and then jerks off in the shower while crying. But regardless of whether he scores or not, it'll never fix the emptiness he feels inside. It will never quiet the doubts. It'll never stop him regretting his past choices. It won't make the people around him - his chosen family, his friends - understand him or stop them from rejecting outright. He looks at his life, all the missed opportunities and wonders if he'll ever get the chance to be the man he's always wanted to be. The man he felt destined to become. But now that man feels more and more like a pipe dream, like a vague, fading dream that perhaps never was. He doesn't know what to do with that information. He doesn't know who he is when he's not trying to be that man. It's soul-crushing and terrifying and it just makes him feel even worse about himself.

But for now, all he can do is dance.

#This one gets weird folks #Because I am sick #I should probably delete this but whatever #I have a lot of DG thoughts and most of them are about how much I want to write about him having a full-on mental breakdown LOL #For he is my poor pathetic little meow-meow and I truly truly love how pathetic he is (in storyline of course)#God this hypothetical fic would be so weird and so self-indulgent and no one would care no one would fucking read it #But I'd enjoy the hell out of an intense DG character study #Buuuut I probably won't ever write it #I do however still have my Dead Dove fic that I started a little before my writing slump #I swear I really wanna finish that someday #Because it definitely involves him having a full on mental breakdown and losing his mind because IT'S FUN #....anyways I should probably shut up and try to get some rest I am not doing well LOL #Can you believe this was all caused by me watching Daniel try to hit on girls while dressed as Waluigi?#The effect this man has on me is quite frankly scary

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flowers-of-io · 2 years

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Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you’ve written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love 💗

Tagged by the lovely @eri-223. I decided to only include finished fics here because while I *am* screaming incoherently about Book in every waking hour, it’s hard to compare things that are their own complete entities to stories yet unfinished.

nothing’s fair in love and war - Oryx & Savathûn. One of my most recent children, born from that one Wellspring quote and figured out over the sandwich table. It has all the good stuff--Books of Sorrow, sibling swordfight, the inevitability of fate, and even a theme song that I’m still unwell about the lyrics of! It was such a pained delight to write, because prior to WQ we hadn’t really hadmuch insight on Savathun’s relationship with her brother, then we suddenly got the statue, the Temple, and of course the quote I could not shake for days upon hearing. By far my favourite thing in this fic is the affectionate holding your sibling at knifepoint and laughing, that viscerality of steel on skin, that plainless of love at the edge of a blade.

Visions of Confluence - first VoG fireteam. This was a very fun exercise written for last summer’s Project Exodus challenge. I liked playing with the repetitions and switching details, going for that eerie feel of ‘it’s almost the same but slightly off kilter, there’s another set of footsteps next to mine but I remember only coming here alone’, glass refracting time like beams of light. Plus, Alemyr!

Blood - Asher & Eris. A Destcember prompt I really went to town with. It’s soft, it’s bittersweet, it’s fragments strewn across time with a quote from Landscape slapped onto the label, it’s found family in the literal sense.

Cats and Dogs - Drifter & Eris. Oh, this was my folly born from the idea of “could there technically be Hive who escaped the fate of having a worm put inside them?” and instead of writing some serious speculative fiction I wrote... this. Again, all the good stuff--humour! bickering coworkers! cute small creatures! yellow Hive goo! This is one of my very few bright & happy fics, and even here I managed to slip a bit of Eris’ PTSD.

Blooming gardens - Another Destcember prompt that’s so niche and weird probably like five people have ever read it, and it holds a special place in my heart because here I went so off the hook with my Afterlife In Destiny, Actually theory (plus: first recorded mention of the Song of Life in my fic!). I’m thinking about revamping it, maybe changing the pov to 2nd person, now that I’ve been playing around with more Traveler/Gardener stuff. Though it was really hard to pick a favourite out of that year’s prompt set (Heresy and Roses & Thorns are so very dear to me too), this one is definitely the most special.

Tagging @xazz, @shadowtriad, @euxiom, @wonderwafles, @a-driftamongopenstars and @allteacher! If you’ve already done it and I’m double-tagging you I’m sorry lol.

#writing #tag game #my fics

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breitzbachbea · 2 years

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i want to send a ship for the ask game but i can't really find one to send- so i'd love to hear about just your favorite ship from anything, or one you just have a lot of thoughts on!

YOU ACTIVATED MY TRAP CARD IMMA TALK ABOUT OCS

You see. My main fandom is Hetalia and in 2013 I had the idea that for a little art trade fanfic, I needed some practical, one-off Human OCs. Just for this one AU story.

9 years later and nothing about this turned out to be one-off. 99% of my writer's output is for this AU monstrosity of its own, where the Hetalia characters now have been joined by over 200 named characters. It's basically Orig Fic with the occasional recognizeable name, cuz I do love the creative freedom, but I also love Fanfiction as an exercise of literary analysis, translating a character from one set of circumstances to another. If anyone wants to read pages upon pages of incoherent OC ramblings for this AU, the tag for it is #storie nostre.

And I AM most mentally unwell about SicIre, my true love, my one comfort ship to end all comfort ships. I will return to my Irishman and Sicilian until the end of time. But I don't want to talk about them.

Instead I keep thinking about Francetto these days, two OCs by the name of Francesco Belfari and Dolcetto Acerbi respectively. They're fixing each other. They're making each other worse. Both of these aspects are interlocked like a rusty set of gears. Dolcetto, who's himself a rather pragmatical bastard with a zest to right the wrongs done to him, isn't afraid of what lurks underneath Francesco's loud and cheerful persona. When Francesco needs to indulge his worst instincts, Dolcetto won't judge him for it and will even be in on the bullshit. They see eye to eye. But Francesco also appreciates that Dolcetto IS pragmatical. More pragmatical than him. More grounded, because he'll be able to pull him back from the abyss when he stared at it for a tad too long. Because Francesco makes Dolcetto want to be kinder, that in turn makes Francesco want to be kinder.

Because Dolcetto in turn doesn't feel inherently worthless and unloveable, someone everyone else would be better off without, as he grows closer to Franci. He feels kind of seen by the dirtbag that Francesco can be, he feels no judgement from the man who watches the entire world with boundless and morbid curiosity. The part of Francesco that IS cheery, that IS caring, that loves so deeply before it crosses the point of destruction makes him believe that there are good things out in the world and that he is worthy of them and wants to give them back.

Does this make any sense to anyone BUT me? No. But I am running on less than 6 hours of sleep, gotta be up at 7 tomorrow and can't sleep. So this is what we're getting. thank you for listening.

#beareplies #shayneysides #the basic premise of the AU is btw a Human AU and what if everyone is a big fish in the organized crime shark tank of their country #so most of these people are questionable morally at best. I also have non gangster OCs tho #oh yeah also funfact Francesco and Dolcetto are both in my header with Feli in the middle #Franci is the bearded cheery guy and Dolco is cupid looking mfer who's like fuck this shit im out.#Technically a coherent story with them as protagonists exists over on ao3 called Italian Affairs #but my old writing is. well. A 16 year old sure wrote the beginning of it.#I am actually in the process of rewriting the first book (IA is a sequel) right now. 2 Chapters of I think 16 are down :)#you are so kind for asking I am SO sorry you got such a dogshit answer lmao #storie nostre #franci #dolco

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