#i am gonna miss it when this is all over
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#i can't handle the cuteness that is them#i am gonna miss it when this is all over#so much cute content daily#like what even?#polin#penelope x colin#colin x penelope#penelope featherington#colin bridgerton#love#nicola coughlan#luke newton#bridgerton
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"And soda; runs off into the street..."
"...and soda... is totally okay!"
#jrwi fanart#jrwi show#jrwi suckening#cw blood#something something cracking open a boy w the cold ones#IF THERE ARE ANY MISTAKES I MISSED I SWWWEAR TO JEBEDIAH. IF I STARE AT THIS ANYMORE IM GONNA DIE IT NEEDS TO BE DONE#ALSO RRRAAAHAHHHGHGH CAN I JUST TAKEA SECOND TO SCREEAAMM ABT HOW MUCH I LOVE SODA AND EMIZEL.. LIKE THERYE SO CUTE....#THEY ARE HOMIES THAT KISS EACHOTHR GOODNIGHT. THEY CARE SO MUCH FOR EACHOTHER. SODA LOVES SODA AND SODA LOVES YOU#do u guys remember how willing he was to share blood w his vampire bestie. like cmon. remember when emizel memorized sodas Soda Schedule.#LIKE CMON.... they just have eachothers backs so much. ouhhh my god... ANYWAY SO THE ART HUH. I FEEL LIKE I SCRAMBLED W IT FOR A WHILE#DRAWIN IS HARD..... i think i did well in the end tho.. i like the lil heart beat effects. and i hope i made soda look Suffieciently Scared#i ALSO had fun w the teeth. i however did not have fun w the walls. if i had more drugs i mightve done every brick in more detail#but i didnt WANNA!!!! this will suffice.I HOPE IT FLOWS WELL&THAT ITS CLEAR... IVE STARED AT IT SO LONG IT IS NOW VISUAL SOUP. HELP!!!#i want my comics to have more Pauses and Space and Thought and Momence. i feel like normally they go so fast. but THIS time#i think i did good.... huuoouhhhh.... comics are HARD art is HARD but i am HARDER. or something. OH YEAH I HAVE MORE ART THINGS#soda was RLY HARD FOR ME TO DRAW FOR A MINUTE..but i like where his design is now. i wanted his hair to be curly swirly.like soda fizz#i THINK thats all my thoughts for now. if u have thoughts u should spill them in the tags i looooove reading tttaaggsss#have a goodnight i gotta go to work soon. maybe. unless the casinos power goes out AGAIN. OR SEOMTHING... UUGHHH MY SCHEDULE IS IN SHAMBLES#I THOUGHT I WAS WORKIN 3 DAYS INA ROW SO I RENTED A WHOLE DAMN HOTEL BC THE JOB PLACE IS FAR AWAY.. I HAD TO CANCEL THE WHOLE RESERVATOn#annd im MMMMAD ABOUT IT!!! like ill get over it ofc BUT IM PEEVED!!!! IM INCONVIENIENCED AND GENTLY AGGRIVATED. BUT OVERALL FINE.#hope yalls weekend goes well. sleep well. if u get the chance to.
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People jumping ship cause of the new masks is very ahhhh. Telling. Tbh.
#very much so#tell me you where only here cause of the looks without telling me your only here cause of the looks#listen. I miss the old masks already too. that’s not the point.#you can mourn for something without that taking away your joy for it.#‘it’s all moving so fast’ iii has been turning red since July.#‘they’re evolving too fast’ or we just got here later then others.#‘I can’t even listen anymore’ sucks to be you. the music that has been put out hasn’t changed so I don’t understand this one#‘they’re gonna get cancelled over this’ ok. I guess this is just thinning out the people who were real fans and who where fake fans#I’m gonna be a sleep token fan til the end. if this is the way they want their image to go? I’ll follow. if we get heavier music next?#sounds fucking amazing to me. (I listen to heavier stuff anyway).#idk I just think it’s so so so fucking telling. that if your jumping ship cause their Live Performance Aesthetic has changed… you didn’t#mean it when you said sleep token was important to you.#like I’m 100% MOURNING the old masks. I am BMO with Finn’s old hair sobbing about the old masks.#but I know this too shall pass#this is how I fucking felt about Vessel’s mask change#and to everyone going ‘what about Vessel and the Chior!’#1). VESSEL HAD A MASK CHANGE EARLIER THIS YEAR!!! he isn’t gonna change masks again so fast those fuckers r expensive!#2). the choir did have a change?? they wherent wearing robes at all and where in body chains they looked amazing#I get we are all neurodiverse and hate change but take a deep breath before you renounce all your sleep token love#I’m guessing Vessel will get a new mask in April again. for the kick off show.#tonight was a closing show. and he didn’t FEEL GOOD. I wouldn’t be surprised that if he was gonna do something with a new mask#if he pushed it back because he didn’t feel good.#he performed a whole show while we could TELL his throat was hurting. fuck.#I want to wrap him up in a warm hug and give him hot water with honey in it.#idk I’m rambling. it’s just telling.
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okay... idk at all if this has been discussed or that I'm just stating the obvious. I'm posting any way to get more feedback.
so. can we be sure that the last boat scene even happened (in the way we saw it at least)
yeah the letter was delivered to the intended recipients. the letter also did say 李相夷绝笔 lit. the final writing by li xiangyi. there's a brief exchange between him and the assumed "boatman" asking him where he was going. and we see he spat blood while writing yeah but:
llh/lxy's eyesight had been failing for some time.
Professional Letter Writers are a thing in the past in service to people who can't write their own letters (idk enough to verify the historical accuracy in this specific context though)
what has been bugging me since forever is the manner of speech of the letter. yeah it's different from their everyday speech, but that's actually perfectly fine since this is A Letter so I'm good with it being more formal. but... there's something I just can't quite pinpoint. especially with the use of the 君 jun pronoun by llh/lxy to refer to dfs when there could be other pronouns with less connotations of intimacy (and scholarly/imperial court system) implied and still conveyed cordiality, marking a shift in their relationship. (I'm not well versed with wuxia as a genre enough to know what are the conventions. someone else who does can say something though.)
whatever these put together means (eg. he may not have written the letter personally, or he wrote it in a different situation from what we saw, etc etc.) alongside:
this scene existed only as part of a visualisation as the letter content is revealed to the audience (or assumed to be fdb reading the letter to dfs & guests of the wedding spectators of the duel)
the boat lxy/llh jumped on is not the same as the one he was writing the letter on - the boatman is also not on it despite the conversation at the beginning, but lxy/llh's dressing and hairpin are the same as the ones before he jumped. (the boatman delivered the letter so he's real though.)
also as @wonderfulnonsense happened to have just pointed out in the tags left in my other post: it's in fact the same boat he took to go fight dfs at donghai 10 years ago. (edit: or maybe it isn't? as pointed out by anon.)
if we viewed whatever we perceived in this scene as imaginary (not what actually happened), then the reading of it being a metaphor for lxy/llh being on his way to enlightenment just makes sense. (the boat being a carrier on his spiritual transformations.) especially when you consider that 彼岸 the other shore is another concept in buddhism to represent enlightenment, alongside the motif of lotuses. (credits to @markiafc for the buddhism reading - edit: mark's meta here) and then, consider the beach ending... yeah.
#莲花楼#mysterious lotus casebook#my posts#lhl#lhlmeta#断剑又绝笔......#this was a question / discussion brought up internally but i wanted more feedback / ideas so. and also for the record#but ofc...if there are details missed out that completely prove this wrong then pretend i never wrote this#pls blame it on the brainrot#lhl discussion of the day is buddhism meta.#taoism and buddhism readings loving hand in loving hand.#honestly i did not think of the story specifically as a path of enlightenment until i was writing the meta#and then it was a downward spiral there on.#it makes a lot of sense given how it's a story about cultivation of the personage (and the struggles of it)#which is the goal of all chinese ideologies. not just taoism and buddhism. they just have different answers#mark is gonna come back with a massive buddhism meta. i'm excited and afraid#also the detail i am sitting on is what is the significance of him signing off as lxy. on top of his r/s with dfs being from lxy's pov.#considering the way he has been identifying with lxy ever since he took over llh as an identity.#PLUS when i first heard lxy thanking dfs for the wangchuan flower. the chinese didn't include the subject of flower#i thought he was talking about 忘川 METAPHORICALLY bc i forgot that was the name of the flower HJBJHHJBJHB#yeah so like this is the river of oblivion he's on or wtv (i'm just babbling now)#also i said INTENDED RECIPIENTS. but the envelope cover is also interestingly empty. though boatman knew who it was meant for
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found out while putting together matthias's oc page that his name has the exact same etymology and meaning as theo's name...
i’m sure this is information matthias is very normal about…
#theo is in fact a gift from god so jot that down !#river dipping#i've been throwing myself into oc stuff bc i'm not doing hot mentally which is... tbh when i do my best writing 😭#none of this is new tho i wrote the bios and 'at a glance' intros months and months ago when i first made an oc page#which is why i do plan on rewriting them but for now i'm leaving them like this... so i guess the echthroi page is done?#obviously echthroi has more characters than this but i haven't taken new screenshots of everyone yet...#i put the gray cas bg back in my game a few days ago only to completely forget i wanted to take new headshots for the oc page 😭#like these are just placeholders... i want the backgrounds to match the oc page. oh... or maybe i could just do transparent pics?#i think i remember vyx made a post abt how to do that... will look into that when i open the game again. rn i'm at my keyboard 🧑💻#like i am writing new things! started a google doc for theo yesterday and have been writing on it here and there since then#i've already cried in there... lmaooo. i like oc pages for sure but i think a huge google doc is what i really need to keep track of things#i drop so much lore in tags on here and it's like! river write that down somewhere else or you'll lose it 😭#like i fr have never actually written down any of the info i've shared on here. i've just had all this oc knowledge stored in my brain.#so i went through and copied over a tonnn of tags and posts i've made into google docs but i just know i'm missing things i've probably#said in the tags of their core tagged posts... 🧍 if my blog didn't have so many posts i'd have an easier time going through it but 🤷#and on top of that i've been making a bunch of posts about theo and matthias on my main acc. which is like 🧍 well great now there's more#i'm gonna lose track of...... i fr have gottt to get into the habit of actually putting things down in theo's google doc!!!#i'm just trying to figure out the best way to format it all but i've downloaded a few templates that i've been messing with.#...anyway. if it isn't obvious i'm trying to get back to posting on here. i'm opening my inbox now with the intent to just.#sit here in my inbox until i can get myself to reply. lads... avpd is actually so torturous i'm not kidding.#i feel like i'm dying trying to get myself to interact with people sometimes even despite how badly i want!!!! to interact!!!#theo and me and our avoidant trauma responses holding hands and skipping around together
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GUESS WHO'S BACK 🗣️🔥🔥🔥 EXAMS R KICKING MY ASS RN Y'ALL BUT I AM MISSING MY SILLY LIL BLOG 😭
#ramblesss#hello to all my hoes#have u missed me#DADDYYSSS HOMEEEE#IM NACK YALL#my mutuals im gonna be all over y'all bc ive missed u guys#ANSWRING ALL OF MY POOKIES RN#i literally havent posted in weeks i feel SICK#I AM ILL#I WANNA WRITE#GONNA FEED U GUYS SO GOOD WHEN EXAMS R OVER
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Imma be honest with you chief this week has not been fun. At all
#oh boy i had a terrible three days time to go tell my tumblr followers about it!#ah no but jokes aside y'all.#i started my job on monday and i actually like it so far!#i haven't done any actual work or anything quite yet cause its all onboarding at the moment#but so far so good! all my colleges are lovely#so you might ask why is this one of the worst weeks of my life? two words#FOOD. POISONING.#this shit is straight up EVIL#im doing better today thank god but yesterday??? omfg#“look im being uber dramatic here but when am i not to be fair”#But seriously#ill try not to go into too much detail but. 10 hrs. yeah.#my throat feels like someone has shoved a metal ball down it#i havent eaten anything today#and I'm missing two days of training over this 😭#this is so embarrassing first week on the job and boom food poisoning knocks me out for two of them#im gonna be the food poisoning guy 😭#i hope y'all are having a better time than i am
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me: hmm who to romance who to romance
me: gets to the party scene
me: wait why is everyone all ready for sex now I BARELY KNOW YOU
#bg3#ace problems#i know bg3 is all about catering to the people#infamous bear scene made that obvs#but like#i need a romance first! backstory! history!#it should take more work than this to enter a relationship with companions!#why yes i did romance fenris in da2 why do you ask#also kaidan in mass effect including no romance in me2#look i'm too ace for this shit#anyway can't get over gale talking about his ex all the time#(tho he did compare me to his cat so point in his favor)#so i'm def gonna go karlach and maybe?? halsin?#cos apparently there's poly#larian how am i supposed to decide if i wanna sleep with halsin when i've said .5 words to the man#honestly#maybe i've missed out on a bunch of companion interactions??#idk man#EDIT TAGS: OH APPARENTLY YOU CAN'T SLEEP WITH HALSIN YET#okay that makes more sense now#edit again: ALSO WHY IS 'SHARING SOME WINE' AN INVITATION TO SEX#LARIAN PLEASE I'M WAY TOO ACE FOR THIS#this party is a minefield#EDIT 3 THERE IS NOT NECESSARILY SEX AT THIS POINT IN TIME
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something something down by the river
yeah i could draw something other than two characters gazing at each other with utter heartsick longing but I know what i'm about son
#beware the tags#oh no the vampire spawn is falling in love with the spider princess#also you will never guess where i got inspo from#yeah it was the man from uncle#i will make him look *more* lovesick dont worry. this is gonna rival my martin/hok stuff bc god#i still have not finished his quest bc i know its gonna make me step away from the game for probably 3 days while i recover#ugghhhh i am gonna scream! bc like the fucking headcanons i have about him and my evil little mermaid tav#she's never seen the ocean. bc menzoberanzzan. so when they finally get to the city she's like fuckin. struck by it.#never seen anything so big in her life. so to explain my running along the coast for hours to unfog the map i imagine he's humoring tav#and acting exasperated by her fascination with the water but he secretly thinks is adorable#and she doesn't know how to navigate a city like baldurs gate. bc where are the spires? the stalagmites? where are the stairs?#so he (knowing the city so well) has to basically be her guide/lead her through the whole thing otherwise it would take them 3 years#to find anything.#MEANWHILE she's having a crisis grieving over her recently dead spouse and fleeing her home for failing her 5th trial#and wants revenge on lolth of all things#so they make a little 'revenge pact' to each other but she's being slowly shown signs of eilistraee and having trouble letting go#bc she can never return home. and she misses her baby brother terribly bc he's only 12 and all 6 of her other siblings are not nice#and she's either gonna take the crown to become a god or have a breakdown at night by the water where she decides to move on#they can make each other better they can make each other so much worse
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.
#again. I am. upset with change and have been upset with change for the past like. month#idk the friend I usually play 14 and do stuff with is hardly on and barely talks to me much anymore#which is just like. her being busy and having a significant other#but there’s a lot of stuff we started together in 14 that I’m now doing on my own#and man. man it’s fucking lonely af#I’m doing diadem alone. I’m doing anima relics on my own. I’m doing other relics on my own#dailies on my own which has gotten me much braver about playing healer and tank but man. man it’s fucking lonely#and I have other friends I can play with but it’s like when you have so many projects you’ve started with a friend only to be left#to do them on your own…it sucks#I’m not upset over her having personal stuff but I’m still missing the times we used to play together#it’s been like this for going on two or three months which isn’t a lot to really think about but still#it feels like a long time#it’s not that my love of 14 is fading it’s more that the act of playing alone when you have so much joint investment isn’t all that fun#owen talks#idk if it last through the summer then idk what I’m gonna do
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i dont wanna be a dick and act like i have no responsibility in this but after a point dont u think if all you ever say to ur friend is Omg you never make it out why dont you ever come out with us you bail all the time youre such a flake etc. dont u think that person (me) is like. not gonna feel so inclined to. be there
#like. yeah i was bad last semester i get it. and probably i shouldve tried at least once or twice to push thru#but i was so exhausted. and every time they would bring up hanging out it was on my longest days#and when i casually brought this up they were just like Well we have long days too. Okay!#and i love and miss these friends and i know for the most part. or at least think. theyre just teasing#i hate being seen as the flake like any time i do have to be like Oh i cant make that or Shit im sorry i have to bail#i try to offer an alternative???? and they never compromise on that. how is that fair like im not just outright rejecting u all the time#not to mention most of the time last semester it was always gonna be somewhere super easy for them to get home and far from me#im not like constantly holding this against them btw but i feel like they're holding it against me and i dont have any more apologies in me#anyway. that said. if theyre somewhere really expensive and far from me tn and i get out of work early#i. probably will not make it. lol! if theyd be willing to come a little closer to my place to one of the dives or some shit thatd be great#and like im not doing much today until class and work so really like. i WILL try. but i think they could sometimes not go for the most#expensive and inconvenient option as well. and these r all things ill say if it becomes like a problem problem or smth#but rn im not gonna be a dickhead and shit on their plans#but also! ok whatever im not gonna keep going on i just feel shitty im not 100% better from being sick and im just frustrated#about having to fuckign grovel over and over and over. i meant it the first few times now im just like#u could try not to be an asshole to me for five seconds too. like. i am very clearly not someone trying to secretly stop being friends#w yall. things happen#abby talks#and maybe this is an esp sore spot bc like ive certainly had some of you bail on me or be flaky or whatever before. and i didnt throw#a fucking fit to your face about it. probably bc it actually did feel more mean spirited sometimes#OK im sorry im not trying to make my friends sound evil and its mostly just the one and like im working on forgiving her for it cause it#was years ago but also like christ!
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Ngl, its very concerning that people somehow think Rishi Sunak’s idea of charging people a £10 fine if they miss an appointment at their GP/hospital, is somehow a good idea, cause...these people really like the idea of people having to pay money even if they tried to make it to the appointment but something made them miss it.
#rishi sunak#uk politics#like y'all really do like to kiss tory's feet in the end dont you#this isnt a good idea#yes i do get the idea its cause people waste slots others could get#but fining people over it??? when people are ALREADY struggling with money in the UK???#yeah uh all this will do is just make people paranoid of appointments#cause most people probably have reasons to miss the appointments and such#but also people are getting appointments face to face??? my GP is still on phone mainly wtf#am i gonna get fined cause they took their sweet time phoning me and i miss a call??#and dont buy that rishi cares about the NHS- he just wants to find a way to charge people more money to go to the goverment#and bonus middle finger to the guy who suggested we fine people for calling ambulances for minor injuries#like tory scum- both torys and supporters
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I ask the universe again, WHY must I be required to have a full-time job??? Is it not enough to simply spend one's time concocting sweet and/or angsty scenarios for two adorable plumber brothers??? Someone pay me to do that instead, please and thank you!!
#don't mind me just feeling a little frustrated that i have so little free time these days. it feels like i'm never gonna finish this fic#or write anything else i want to because i am just TOO EXHAUSTED ALL THE TIME :( [shakes fist at capitalism]#or it just simply takes me SO long that no one cares by the time i'm done ahahaha :( :( :(#just being a whiny baby for a moment. it will pass#lol if you are still in college and get summers off cherish that for all it's worth you will miss it so deeply when it's over#ccs personal
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Anyway I'm eating a chocolate bar for breakfast
#the duality of fran#this is a new low#i dont even feel low tho i feel good and kinda happy#i just really wanted a chocolate bar. i rarely indulge this much and for breakfast no less#but im just. yeah! im gonna eat chocolate for breakfast#normally i have breakfast on break at work and its super healthy#today. i deserve a lil treat#for no other reason than i am glad to be alive this morning#catsitting all next week which means being out of my parents house#and downtown and close to THINGS AND PEOPLE#i can just have a casual coffee in a cafe a weekend morning. go shopping. wander around the thrift markets#The possibilities are endless when u are within walking distance of things#im SO excited over this little thing. it shouldnt be a big deal. but my heart is so happy#even if the living out of my suitcase in another person's living space is anxiety inducing for me#bc routines and all that#GOD if rent wasnt insane in the city i would be so happy to move into a community#where everything is accessible by walking or. a short subway trip#I MISS THAT KIND OF LIFE SO BAD OK
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the reason why i was offline for a day was bc i was in cas editing mattodore and messing with my cas bg, yeah, but also... i found another oc ask game that i liked the questions for so i started drafting theo and matthias's answers for them....... there's 100 questions this time so i've just been like this in google docs
#river dipping#when theo's doc inevitably ends up passing 5k.......... let's not mention it let's simply not mention it#i'm also in spotify playing the respective mattodore playlists while hopping between their answers#i think i've just been listening to their playlists and renaissance and amir and <copingmechanism> for the last month straight#my top tracks and artists of the month rn are definitely a testament to that.....#succession season four soundtrack “action that” is also on there tho <333333333 love you kendall roy <3333333#anyway i have no idea how long it's gonna take me to finish answering these questionnaires for the both of them#but i really enjoy doing this... i said before that i've reread their last 60 questions posts so much i've started to memorize them#and i can tell it's gonna be the same for these questionnaires when i finish them like i will be pouring over them like a man possessed#whenever i finish them (bc i AM planning to spend all of my free time on them after this) i'll share them with updated character pics#so i'll have to go in game for that. i'll need to update their character pages entirely honestly they've changed so much in the last month#like physically#well not matthias....... kjfdvnkdfgjh but theo looks SO... not different exactly but like... he's evolved.#also their last character page pics are ugly kjfkvjhnkjfgh no offense to past me for trying to be cute and edit differently but lmao.#i'll redo all of the echthroi character pics too so can't wait to have 500 new gshade screenshots of the eight ocs i have for it#jackson and everett are still missing in action but it's fine. Whatever. i don't even care 🙄#<- me trying to manipulate my brain using reverse psychology so that it finally pops out a solid image of what i want them to look like
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To input another pov to the s2e5 conversation, I personally brushed off the single dad comment from earlier in the ep, chalking it up to clunky exposition dialogue (oh they need to show how he has his hands full in one line and make it make sense) and THEN the fit check happened and my eyebrows raised to the my hairline, and THEN Don dropped that "[...] or did you follow me home? ;)" line with THAT attitude, and my had to cover my mouth going, what's going on...?? lmao from an extremely jaded tv watcher who almost never ship anything except canon events.
Truly think the world collectively shook that night thanks to the number of viewers leaning forward in their seats with hands over their mouths and awe in their eyes 😂💖
But really though, there will NEVER be proper explanation for what happened in ep 5 other than Loki's canonical impulse to impress Mobius at any given moment finally extending to 90s Hugh Grant rom com territory (as anything should, tbh) or it being a hint that on Don's timeline he'll eventually meet *his* Loki and the two of them will settle into suburbia with the kids and jet ski off into the sunset as fandom intended and I'm personally fine with either option lol
#oh and for the record I still think it's completely possible don's loki is or is at least similar to the loki who took over nyc#bc if anyone isn't gonna miss a beat being down to fix a villain it's don as long as said villain looks like loki am i right 😉#also for another fun little pov i rewatched this ep right after airing while helping my mum with her physical therapy#her english is a bit limited and she rarely if ever understands what i see in the majority of shows/actors i like#but when i tell y'all loki did that fit check and her eyes got as wide as saucers lmaooooo that scene opened a whole new world for her#thanks so much for such a fun ask and i couldn't agree with you more about what a life changing moment that was for us all lol#lots of love to you and hope you're got an amazing day ahead! 💖💖#ask
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