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#i am fueled by spite and passion
dykethevvitch · 4 months
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I figured it was about time to do a mechs line up
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strawberryspence · 1 year
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Because I am obsessed with the famous trope here’s another one that kept me up all night.
Steve and Eddie dated right after Vecna in ‘86 and it’s perfect. They date each other and it’s like two puzzles clicking together. But they’re young, foolish and they both have mountains of trauma. And sometimes, the passion and love, just isn’t enough to keep a relationship going.
They have a messy break up that has Eddie packing all his stuff up in ‘88. Eddie goes to LA or New York, either way that’s where he gets discovered. He then goes on to write some very angsty and angry rock/metal music about the break-up that gets him up on the map.
Steve hates it. He hates it with every fibre of his soul because it’s one thing when you and you ex still have the same friends and have to be civil with each other, but it’s a whole other thing when you open the radio and this man you dated, this man you loved and cared for and failed is just out here singing it for the whole world to hear.
And yeah listen, it’s petty and dumb. But Steve writes his own fucking songs, it’s not the direct response to Eddie’s song but it’s close. By that time it’s already ‘90 and Eddie’s made a whole name and career out of their relationship. Steve writes the songs, he sings, and he sends the damn demo to almost fifty different companies. And he gets picked up by one company.
Steve takes the pop star route, and with his looks and his somehow amazing vocals, by ‘94 Steve’s on the charts with Whitney and Mariah. The whole Party has solemnly promised to not get involved with their petty songwriting fighting anymore. They also haven’t spoken in person in almost six years, and the only way they communicate now is through the freaking songs.
There’s not a lot of overlap with the rock and pop community, and no one notices it until ‘05. It’s one fan that makes this one blog post talking about this weird freaky coincidence in Steve Harrington and Eddie Munson’s songs. It becomes a whole thing, like someone from Hawkins pulls out the yearbooks and finds out that they could’ve known each other. Their faces are splashed together into every magazine and celebrity entertainment shows.
They don’t say anything about it. No one comments about it for a few years and it infuriates the public even more. The next time Steve comes out with a song, Eddie comes out with another song a few months after and it’s once again a literal conversation about their relationship.
The whole thing continues until ‘11 and by then there’s blog dedicated for all the clues. It’s now a long running thread, and it gets updated when there’s another clue to this massive confusing puzzle. There’s a whole subsection with names of every Party member and how they connect the two artists together. There’s freaking flow charts and pictures and family trees.
It only ends when Eddie finally posts two pictures on Twitter. The first one is taken backstage. All you can see is Steve’s back, but you will know it’s him because of his hair. He’s standing at the side of the stage, and on the stage is Eddie Munson singing. The second one is a picture of Eddie sitting in a couch as Steve looms over him, hands crossed on his chest. Eddie’s signing his own album with a smirk, while Steve glares at him. If you zoom, you can see the sign on the album saying, “To Steve. This album is for you.”
The caption says: “Me and my biggest fan. Circa 2004.”
Steve replies to the original post saying: “You’re sleeping on the couch tonight.”
Eddie deletes the post and reposts it with: “Me and my wonderful, gorgeous, talented husband. I can’t believe I am married to THE Steve Harrington.”
It’s the first time the term “break the internet” is ever used.
Turns out, they were just writing the songs to spite each other and to add fuel to the fandom fire. (In an interview, Eddie says, “It’s our foreplay.” and Steve doesn’t talk to him for a solid 30 minutes for running his mouth. It only lasts for 30 minutes because Eddie made it up to him by using his mouth for something else.)
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doodlesfromthebird · 1 year
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Heya I've been drawing for a few years now but I'm still learning every day and I'm more than aware of the skill gap between me and others which is fine I am willing to work hard and improve. You and your art is a really big inspiration to me and I hope to reach your level someday. Can't help however but be really demotivated and easily affected by the difference between me and others and I know I shouldn't compare myself with people who have been drawing for wayyy longer than I have. What was your experience while improving your art? Any words of wisdom from the bird? I love drawing and I don't want to lose this kind of connection to it but most of the hours I spend practising are driven by spite and hatred over my own self aaaagh is this too personal lol thank god for the anonymous option lol I LOVE YOUR ART, I look at everything your passion for art overflows through your work.
Hey, pal! It's nothing to fret over, and I'm glad you feel comfortable sharing this! I think getting all your thoughts out this way is already good way to start, and I hope that alone was able to let off some steam on the subject.
I absolutely know how this feels, and it's still something that crops up for me time to time, too! It's gotten easier to manage over the years, but there's certainly times where it's taken the wind outta my sails and sunk my energy to be creative.
I think when you're wrapped up in that headspace, the best thing to do is stop the struggle and don't try to force progress. Don't even allow yourself to problem solve, or ask anything from yourself when that cloud's over your head. There have been plenty of times where I just end up making myself feel worse by simply asking "why do I like to create in the first place?" because I'll come up with overly critical answers "well, it's the only thing I'm good at"
Wait til you've distanced yourself from that frustration, and then give yourself time to reflect. Why do you actually enjoy making art? What about your connection to your creativity is so special to you? At what point in time did you enjoy drawing the most, and why? Why do you want to improve in the first place?
It's difficult because I think it's wonderful that you're pushing yourself to improve and practice. There's been many times where I've wished I could go back in time and tell myself to get more serious about practicing sooner. However, I absolutely don't think it's worth putting strain on your connection with your creativity. I think spite can be a powerful motivator, but when it's fueled by your own dissatisfaction and hatred for your own work, it cuts off the flow of that essential part of you that loves to create for the sake of it.
Sitting down to practice is going to feel like torture, because that spark of joy just CAN'T get to ya when you're trying to appease that part of you that thinks its you're gonna get left behind if you don't work harder. Brute forcing improvement has absolutely worked for some people! But it's also completely normal for that work style to make YOU feel miserable if it's at odds with how you actually enjoy drawing.
Is this all to say that you should only try to get better when you're in LOVE with how you feel about art? Not at all! You don't have to try and add any special feelings or force positivity, you just have to remove the resistance and the burden you put on yourself as best you can.
So if I could suggest anything, as corny as it may sound: be more kind to yourself. I mean it! Make peace with where you are. Celebrate your small wins. Detach yourself from it, if nothing else. Your art isn't always going to look better than it did yesterday, but look back on your work from a year ago! If you don't like the way your art looks, that's fine! That can be 100% true and it doesn't have to be a bad thing. You're going to improve. Take inspired action and practice in a way that draws that connection you treasure with art closer to you. Spend more time listening and indulging in what the creative in you wants to do in between study sessions.
I can comfortably say that I'm at the skill level where younger me would have wanted to aspire to be at. And yet, I have MANY days where I look at my work and wished it looked like someone else's. I still stare at a blank canvas with an idea in my head and feel dejected because my skill level isn't up to par with what I want to achieve. I promise you your art has value the way it looks Right Now.
Once you give yourself that grace, you're going to start looking forward to practicing. The inspiration that'll hit is going to motivate you to try things you might never have thought you'd attempt. Once you look at your work differently, your work is going to change. That's not going to be easy at first, but you can start by just saying "I am where I am, and I'm getting ready to be even better."
If you're interested in some suggestions to maybe get in the flow, while also satisfy the brain's need for Progress when practicing just isn't hittin' right:
Challenge yourself to scribble whatever pops into your head. Anything. Maybe it's absurdly complicated! Who cares. draw The Last Supper from memory in five minutes as best you can. Draw an insane fight scene with stick figures in weird angles. Your brain is going to !!HATE!! doing it, but that's fine! It's going to force you to detach from it. Allow yourself to create something that's bad and can be thrown away right after. Don't spend more than 30 minutes on these. Take the most complicated ideas off a pedestal by just Attempting them anyway.
Challenge yourself to draw only what would appease your inner child for a full day. If you used to trace over screenshots from a tv show to insert a fan character in, DO THAT. Draw something while listening to the soundtrack of one of your favorite video games as a child. Draw an alternative book cover for one of your favorite childhood books.
Practice anatomy by turning the models your referencing from into your favorite characters.
Color/paint a scene/character by picking colors from a screenshot in a movie you really like.
put on a favorite show/movie and draw for the entire duration of an episode/movie run-time. Draw passively without the intention of showing it to anyone.
draw a bunch of large, wonky shapes that fill up the entire canvas/paper and draw mini illustrations contained within those shapes.
IF ALL ELSE FAILS!!! GO TAKE A NAP!!! :) Don't be hard on yourself for being hard on yourself, either. Allow yourself time and ease.
I hope any of this brought hope, or comfort, or even just something to consider. I'm so glad you enjoy my art!! Thank you for your kind words. You and I and everyone else are walking this same road to improvement, and even though sometimes it might not feel that way, we're ALL walking side by side. You aren't alone, friend.
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ohhgingersnaps · 9 months
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Shane/leah? Tell me more! They are my two favs, but i've never thought about them as a couple.
Okay SO my affinity for Shane/Leah is a fairly recent thing (I fully credit @coolcoolglasses and @floopthecooper for fueling this particular fire and brainstorming with me haha).
My relationship with this ship has been a month-long slow-burn enemies-to-lovers kind of situation. My initial gut reaction of "eh that would never work" quietly progressed into "oh wait they might be cute, actually" and then into "oh NO! i'm invested!!"
So, reasons why I think Shane/Leah would work:
"Hello, neighbor. We both live outside of town. Does that mean something?" (from Leah’s dialogue). They're both a little introverted, and a bit non-conformist, and they both moved to Pelican Town to escape their old life. While that doesn't automatically make them kindred spirits, it's not nothing.
Leah is the sort of person who's willing to sit with someone in whatever they're going through, instead of trying to fix them or cheer them up, and that's what Shane needs. He doesn’t need a savior, he needs support.
Bonding over nature/animals. Leah talks a lot about how much she loves farm animals, even before she's interested in the farmer, and a good portion of her high-heart dialogue is along the lines of, "Oh, gosh, a farm sounds so nice, I love farms! Wouldn't it be awesome to have help on your farm? Maybe me??" Leah would absolutely jump at the chance to help take care of the animals on Marnie's ranch, is all I'm saying.
Narrative parallels. Leah's arc is partly about finding the confidence to present her art to the world, which involves a huge level of vulnerability; Shane's arc is about a lot of things, depending on how you slice it, but vulnerability's one angle.
Also, not to project all over Shane (read: absolutely to project), but an important component of my mental health recovery has been "hope"— not hope as a feeling, but hope as an action— as buckling down and trying, even if you're scared or tired or aren't feeling positively about it. You know all those "going on my daily stupid walk for my stupid mental health >:(" memes? To me, that has recovery!Shane vibes. He's grumpy about it, sure, but that just means he's gotta do it grumpy.
And Leah's arc is chock-full of Hope As An Action. Being an artist is a constant struggle of "this thing I am making will not turn out as perfect as it is in my head, and I will make it anyway." Leah often expresses uncertainty about her own level of talent, but she puts herself and her work out there in spite of that, and she gets stronger and more self-assured the more she does it.
(Putting the rest of this under a cut because it got long oops)
What they value in a partner. Leah values someone who's okay with simplicity, who's straightforward and honest (which Shane generally is, when he's not putting up a front to push people away). She also wants someone who will believe in her and respect her, and I think Shane would not only respect her unique traits, but admire them. Having a goal you're passionate about in the first place is awesome, but being willing to fight for it? That takes guts.
I think Shane values honesty, steadfastness, and realism, but also needs someone whose realism is cut with hope and determination instead of pessimism. Also, per earlier discussion, he needs someone who's willing to sit with him at his lowest points instead of trying to fix him. Someone who's independent and can offer support, but who's also good at setting and respecting boundaries.
(Also, while we're on the topic of Things They'd Appreciate About Each Other, I do think Shane would appreciate that Leah is capable of breaking him in half. Like, he passes her chopping firewood on his way to work one day and goes "hope this doesn't awaken anything in me" lmao)
They have similar senses of humor. They both have dry sarcasm vibes to me, with a side of terrible puns. I'm not elaborating on this at all, I just think it's true.
Consider also: Leah hanging out with the ranch family. Found family tropes! Coming over for meals, bringing over a hearty soup when the ranch fam gets sick, coming over to sketch the chickens. (If doodles of Shane end up on her pages more often than the chickens do, well…)
I tend to headcanon Leah as having been through the wringer a bit re: her own mental health post-Kel, so while her situation does differ from Shane's, she does understand facets of what he's going through. And when she needs to vent about Kel, or needs time to process something that's triggered her, Shane's in a similar position— even if he doesn't fully get it, he can still empathize, make space for her, and also sometimes get angry about it with her, which she finds oddly validating.
I can talk about this for hours but I will stop here!!
The main difficulty I see in them getting together is that Shane tends to rebuff people, and Leah would take his "leave me alone" at face value because boundaries are important to her for Personal Reasons (i.e. Kel-related trauma), so they’d need some sort of contrived circumstance to force them to interact with one another long enough that he lets his walls down a bit…
Once he does, though, they'd get along like a house on fire, and I have a giant cardboard box full of contrived circumstances that I'm itching to use on them :)
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charcadett · 1 year
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How about polly Brassius and Hassel with an s/o who is also an artist and an animator?
Oh YES! Poly headcanons with two of my favs, hell yeah. I wrote this as a poly triad, as in you’re all three daying each other. I hope that’s okay!
Poly Hassel and Brassius With Artist S/O
- It’s never dull with these two as your boyfriends, especially if you’re a fellow artist. Hassel wears his heart on his sleeve with a tendency to wax poetic. Brassius is eccentric and prone to dramatics, and their shared passion for art makes them a force to be reckoned with. Add you into that equation, and silence is a lost and forgotten concept. If you’re not lending an ear, you’re rambling yourself, Hassel and Brassius hanging on your every word.
- They are your biggest supporters. It doesn’t matter what you’re doing. You could be working on a new project, an old project, or simply taking a break; Hassel and Brassius are cheering you on every step of the way. Whenever Hassel sees you, he will excitedly ask how your newest animation is coming along. Brassius is similarly supportive, although he tends to be absorbed in his own work. They both shower you with praise in affection whenever they see you. You’re practically drowning in it.
- Your name will get shortened into a nickname. Accept it. It’s inevitable. And also very likely to be cheesy. In regards to pet names, though, Brassius calls you “my muse,” “beloved,” and “my heart.” Hassel tends to go old-fashioned with “dear” and “love.”
- Communication is very important in your relationship. Where Brassius may take a bit of coaxing – he finds being vulnerable, especially regarding his personal struggles, an embarrassing endeavor – Hassel insists upon it. Once every few weeks, the three of you will sit down and discuss your relationship. What’s going well, what is the cause of some problems, and what can be done to help. Considering there aren’t usually any major issues, discussion tends to dissolve into date planning within fifteen minutes.
- Hassel and Brassius don’t currently live together. Not for lack of wanting to. It simply makes the most sense regarding their jobs. Hassel lives in Mesagoza to be close to the league and the school. Brassius lives in Artazon to be close to the Gym. You either switch between their houses or live separately. It’s up to you. Either way, be prepared for surprise visits from the two, together or separate. Despite their busy schedules, the three of you manage to spend a significant amount of time together, from visiting Hassel during his free period at the academy to cheering Brassius on during his Gym Battles.
- Sometimes, members of Hassel’s family come to visit. More specifically, a certain stubborn cousin. Brassius has slammed the door in their face several times. If Hassel’s around, he at least tries to be cordial, otherwise, they are nothing but a pest to him, and he treats them as such. You have never seen Hassel as angry as he was when you and Brassius finally told him about his cousin’s new and invasive tactic. While they never bother you again, you sometimes see them exiting the school in a huff. They take great pains to avoid you.
- As frustrating as this may be, some benefits come with Hassel’s family. Such as his spite-fueled use of the ancient dragon clan bank account.
- “Both of my muses in one place! How lucky a man am I?” Brassius says this whenever you and Hassel are in the same room. Every single time. Without fail. If there ever comes a day he doesn’t, take him to the hospital.
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lollytea · 2 years
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going back to ur castle kids au post made me think a little more abt how jealous hunter would get of gus's friendship with willow and how he might make excuses to follow gus to join the flyer derby team at school esp after hearing willow's team captain.
so instead of huntlow finding comradery with one another, they are now so completely competative with one another.
"oh captain wants us to do 30 laps? that's baby scout training. i can do 100 and not break a sweat"
"ok caleb! you want to just warm up? that's fine! the rest of us will do our laps and then get started on our drills! Have fun! :)"
just getting absolutely in each other's faces sometimes but its never vindictive or mean. i think they might be tactless sometimes but it more like just feeding into the other's intensities like two dogs on opposite sides of a street to see who can bark the loudest and longest.
it really becomes less about gus over time and more about just one-upping each other and riling one another up. i just think its really funny to think about how they obviously respect each other abilities and think about each other all the time but neither of them will ever say anything about it because hunter's too proud to admit it, and willow knows if she ever brought it up, her prev crush of the gg will come up and that can never EVER be mentioned in front of him.
like hunter's huffing and puffing that willow's so good at talking to the team constuctively and he "complains" how clearly she's so thoughtful, and wise, and strong, and really intuitive as a leader but he's the golden guard so he's clearly got more tools under his belt as a leader and he could take the time to show her some pointers ha ha ha
or willow's grumbling about how hunters always so honest about giving compliments to the team and he never fails to execute the play perfectly and he's such a good flyer, its so nice to have someone so clearly passionate about flyer derby because his cute gaptooth shows every time he smiles at the team, but she's clearly got more background in flyer derby and he's "just a bit cocky for her taste" (note: never bothered her b4 when he was just the gg)
i just really love the idea of huntlow rivalry like recognition of the self through the other (mortifying so now i'm racing you to the cafeteria to grab the last appleblood juice for gus) and mutually becoming a little obsessed with each other.
I am FUELED by the idea of Castle Kids AU huntlow rivalry. Like there are a lot of lovely reasons for Willow to strive to become the toughest strongest version of herself (to protect her friends and whatnot.) But there's something very chaotic and funny about her being partly motivated by pure spite. Gotta knock this cocky bitch off his high horse. (Griffin? Staff?? Whatever, she's gonna knock his ass off something or die trying.)
I love to think of Willow being involved in an antagonistic dynamic that doesn't make her feel small, but rather it just encourages her to hype herself up in order to prove him wrong. Because she already found him a bit snobby to begin with so has wanted to show him up for quite some time. She is mortified by the fact that she originally had a little crush on him (before she was made aware of what a chilly jerk he was.) so now she makes a point to stubbornly disagree with everything he says, just to prove to herself that there's not even an ember of that flame left. Of course she's awesome. Because the Golden Guard doesn't believe so, and he's never had a halfway decent opinion on anything in his life. Fuck that guy. Plus he's not even that cute.
Whether the two of them like it or not, in any universe, they're kinda destined to have this spark of mutual understanding very early on. (Like how they were having full out conversations with their eyes in ASIAS after knowing eachother for a day.) But it's like. On a subconscious level. They don't realize that they're enjoying this little rivalry even though they'll insist they don't care for each other and yet it never even occurs to them to try to cut the other deep with a remark that would actually hurt. They both understand feeling worthless too intimately to inflict it on anyone else. However there is no harm in getting a little competitive when the person you can't stand has this annoyingly smug look on their annoyingly pretty face that you're just itching to wipe clean.
I think when this whole feud over Gus started off, Hunter didn't even see Willow that often, not that he was going out of his way to do so. Willow wasn't in the castle very much. The Emperor's Coven doesn't exactly supply extra rooms for friends and family. (An exception was made for Gus as Perry was a single dad so Gus had nowhere else to go.) Usually Willow stays at home with Harvey. But she'll show up at the castle a few days a week to visit Gilbert when he has a free moment from his duties and she'll hang around until the evening when Harvey picks her up. Occasionally she'll stay the night.
Gilbert's room happens to be directly across from Hunter's. So when Willow does stick around, she has the misfortune of being Hunter's neighbour. (💘😡)
Usually when Gilbert is busy, Willow will hang around with Gus. Hunter gets very annoyed that he's usually unavailable to butt in between them and establish his friendship because he's carrying out Golden Guard duties.
I think Willow's crush was still kinda there when she first showed up, because she never really got the chance to interact with him, and she was way too shy to approach him herself. However it was immediately stamped out when he found her wandering the castle hallways one day.
"Oh. It's you." He had said, his expression hidden beneath that mask. Willow swore she picked up a hint of distaste in his tone but she wasn't going to dwell on that.
"It's me! Hi!" She had answered hurriedly, a little flustered that he apparently knew who she was. "I've got a name too. It's-"
"Everyone has names." Interrupted the Golden Guard, confusingly snippy. "Are you lost? Should I return you to your father?"
Some of the charm Willow had always heard in his voice drained away.
She didn't like the insinuation that she had to be shepherded around like a child.
"I'm just exploring."
"This castle is not the place for that."
That was a lie. Willow had heard all about Gus venturing around every nook and cranny of this old place. And she knew for a fact that the Golden Guard sometimes tagged along.
"But I guess your school still hasn't taught the lesson about respecting the Emperor's home."
Oh. Bitch.
"Are you..." Willow began uncertainly, gobsmacked by the audacity. "Are you seriously making fun of me for being in school?"
The Golden Guard shrugged jauntily, before polishing his gloves knuckles against his uniform. "When I was your age, I was already serving the Emperor." He declared, the words dripping with pride.
"When you were my age?!" Willow spluttered, incredulous. "You mean last year?!"
"It's a significant amount of time!"
"It really isn't."
He had gotten huffy then and strode away, his ridiculous cloak dramatically flapping as he departed.
Alright. Willow had been made insecure before but she just simply couldn't summon that emotion this time. Not with this guy. Because, frankly put, he was fucking stupid. She was fourteen, where the fuck else should she be but at school?
It became more obvious to her over time that he didn't turn up his nose at her specifically, but the whole world. He was just so much better than everyone, wasn't he? He was so obnoxious, just his presence alone made Willow livid. He wasn't like Boscha or Amity (sometimes), as he wasn't really mean about it but....Titan, she could feel self importance radiating off him.
If nobody was gonna show him up, then she supposed she would just have to do it herself. His smugness was maddening.
I like to imagine that Willow does not see Hunter's face until they're really down bad in the throes of this flyer derby antagonism. He'll ditch the uniform and the cloak during practise but the mask is always there. It's a barrier Hunter establishes between the two, to convince himself that she's nothing but a civilian. He only goes maskless around higher ups of the Emperor's Coven, the occasional scout and those close to his heart (Gus) and Willow is none of these things. She's not important to him.
She is not important to him.
And maybe the mask makes him feel more confident. Which is really useful during his interactions with Willow. It's freeing to know she can't see his expression.
Plus she's really pretty (an objective observation! Hes not blind for Titan's sake.) while he's....not. So he'd prefer to leave his appearance anonymous for now.
They also don't do first names. Obviously Willow has known Hunter's name since before she met him cuz Gus talks about him nonstop, but she never refers to him as anything but "Golden Guard." Or sometimes just "Guard" if she's flirting antagonising him.
When they first met, Willow was referred to as nothing but "You" or "Her" or occasionally "Park's daughter" when she wasn't around. It bothered her. She liked to be called something.
So, after begrudgingly allowing him to join her derby team, (he was a good flyer and she hated it.) she made one thing perfectly clear.
Willow strode up to Hunter with a rolled up jersey and shoved against his chest so forcefully he nearly topped over.
"I know you might be used to taking the lead, Guard." She said. "But this is my team. You are my player and I am your captain."
"Captain." He had tested the word on his tongue. To Viney and Skara, it may have sounded pleasantly cheerful but Willow knew better. As this was a boy without a face, she had to pay special attention to the subtle lift and fall of his voice. She believed herself somewhat fluent in reading his signals by now.
He was humoring her and thinking himself so very decent for doing so. He was baiting her and she wasn't going to tolerate it. That one word expressed a challenge.
Why don't you show me what you got then?
Willow had every intention of doing so. The Golden Guard was going to do what she told him to do. And with the Titan as her witness, by the end of the week, she'd have him asking "how high?" if she ordered him to jump.
At first, Hunter only called her Captain sparsely. Like when she had gotten all up in his face, or when he was teasing her or being so Hunterishly annoying. "Captain" had become something he used to get under her skin. It made her bristle with irritation.
He was always sending her some kind of message when he used it. But as time went on and it became a far more frequent nickname, Willow started to lose her grip on what those messages meant.
Sometimes when he said it, his voice was strangely soft. Sometimes it was loud and enthusiastic. And sometimes it was so completely neutral that it made Willow feel funny. He was not using that term to antagonise her. But rather...it seemed like "Captain" was simply the nickname he had decided suited her.
She would never tell anyone just how much she liked it. But she often wondered when he had chosen to stop using the name as ammo. Or....the shift had been so gradual...had he even realized....?
But yeah. When Hunter came strutting up to join her team, Willow anticipated that he would be difficult. She had geared herself up for somebody who would challenge her authority at every corner. And she was prepared to fight fang and nail to keep him in his place.
So she was very surprised to find that....he didn't actually do that? Sure he made a point to show off and boast about how easy Willow's team warm up exercises were. ("It's my Coven Training. But I guess you wouldn't be familiar with those kind of brutal drills, huh Captain?") But when Willow gives him orders, he follows them. And then he proceeds to blow her away by doing what he's told expertly. And he has the audacity to do a cocky little gesture at her while doing so.
He's perfect. She can't stand him.
Willow does everything within her power to outdo him. Which results in her pushing herself during practise until her bones ache and she smells awful.
Something Willow doesn't take the time to realize is that Hunter is trying just as hard, if not harder to outdo her.
It straight up isn't about Gus anymore. The issue with Gus was like the training wheels on the bicycle of their rivalry. It wouldn't have been able to get moving without them but at some point the training wheels have been removed and they haven't noticed yet because the bike is still rolling.
Like. Seriously. Are you guys really arguing over who's gonna give Gus a piggyback home for Gus's sake or is it because you both wanna show off how strong you are to the other?
Gus is aware of this and quite frankly, he doesn't give a fuck about the reason. He just wants the piggy back.
It's so funny to think about how Hunter was originally miffed that Willow was taking away all of Gus's attention. But at this stage, Hunter and Gus will be having a sleepover and Hunter will spend all their quality time ranting about his feud with Willow.
"Dude you realize that you're like....obsessed with her?" Gus interrupts.
Hunter vehemently denies this.
Meanwhile Willow has been spending the night at the castle a lot more frequently lately. Who knows why this is.
Probably not because when the three of them return home from practise, Gus splits for his room at least 20 doors down, so there's a whole hallway walk where it's just her and Hunter.
They never really spend any time alone. Why would they? Not like either of them want to. But they have no option in this case. But she supposes it's....tolerable. They're both too tired to be antagonistic so they just....talk.
On one occasion, as Willow reaches her room and her hand rests upon the handle, she swallows and says something she's never said to him.
"Goodnight, Guard."
She can't see his reaction. But he freezes where he stands, his grip on his own door handle tightening. He doesn't dare look back at her.
"Night, Captain."
A jolt of nerves strikes down both of their systems as they turn in for the night without another word.
Something is beginning to change. But they cannot put their finger on what.
All they know is that person in the room across from theirs makes them behave like a fool.
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heartbeatbookclub · 3 months
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One thing I'll say is that as much as I'm doing what I'm doing largely in spite of any opinions I think I'm likely to get, it is very encouraging to see people respond positively to stuff I make.
I am a very passionate person when it comes to creating, so there are times where I'll spend upwards of months writing, reading, rereading, editing, tweaking, and writing some more on something I'm working on. The amount of effort I put into some things just because I feel an intense, burning need for it to fit to the vision I have exactly as it is (or greater) often makes creating a very taxing process, so it does really feel good to have people respond to it positively.
An all caps "THIS." makes it all worth it. Keysmashes are my fuel. Knowing that somewhere in this world I made some fan who is exactly as normal about this as I am kick their feet like a little schoolgirl with how well I captured their blorbo warms my heart.
Engagement isn't something I often consider when creating...
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lilacsolanum · 2 months
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I'm really feeling grateful for the unspoken rule in fandom that if you don't like a fic, just click off. It's free and it's a hobby, so there's no need to leave a critical review. Every now and then I'll see people whine about that, which. Wild. But like. Hey, don't.
In 2020, I lost more than just my job. I lost my entire life path. I lost the future I had planned for myself. I worked in the service industry, and that industry will never, ever be the same. It might look like it's snapped back from the outside, but it hasn't. Obviously, everyone life changed permanently, a literal global level of shift, and I'm not exactly special. Myself and my family and friends all came out of it healthy and I'm so grateful. Still, man, for me more than most people I know, shit was like the Thanos snap. One day, half my life was gone.
I had two choices: despair, or make the best of it. I've been called to performing my entire life, but never pursued it due to self-doubt. Well, when I was unemployeed and desperate, I suddenly decided to jump into audiobook narration with no plan and no training. And somehow, I got gigs. I started working with an author who was on the verge of blowing up, who didn't have the budget to find a trained professional at the time so used someone with potential who would work for an appropriate payrate. I recorded my first series giving 200%, which is 100% more than anyone wants to listen to in an audiobook narrator. I'm incredibly proud of my first efforts and invested the money I made in coaching and equipment upgrades, but as the author's fanbase grew, so do people's expectations of the narration.
It's been uhhhhhhhhh a wild ride. I'm so grateful that I got lucky, but also, do not recommend this situation to anyone. While I am improving and growing, most of my books are a little rough, and the one star reviewers are fucking LETTING. ME. KNOW. All caps, rage filled, terrible spelling and b'grammar'd passionate reviews on every audiobook retailer imaginable are out there for me to obsess over in at my low points. Which is often. Remember when I said I suffer from crippling self-doubt? Mama I am dragging my stubborn ass through this accidental career pivot of mine out of spite rather than pride. It's not fun.
They have a right to speak their mind, as most of them paid for the book! So if you hate it, go off! But still! Sometimes I combat that by reading comments on my fanfiction. The majority of comments I receive on AO3 are positive with a few mild exceptions, and those are easy for me to shake off because of the support I've received. The positive comments motivate me to improve my writing just as much as the negative comments on my acting do, except being positively motivated makes that improvement go faster and a more pleasant journey. It's a nice, safe place for me. I don't appreciate the culture of no negative comments because I don't accept that negative criticism is a part of putting yourself out there creatively. I accept it very much. I appreciate them because I AM a professional creative and people pay for products I've produced and have every right to express their opinions on it and it's so important I have a space where I don't have to deal with that.
So thank you, those who suppress the urge to leave negative comments on fanfic. And thank you to people who leave kind reviews. You never know what someone is going through, and my god, kind comments on my fic inspire me to work even harder as a performer, because one day, I want to receive equal positivity for both ventures. Thank you for fueling my ambitions with kindness.
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parkitaco · 1 year
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hi can I please tell you I loved your recent fic and honestly was so happy to see you post what YOU want and wave off anybody who has an issue with a make out scene because there is none? idk I love when byler are allowed to be like any other fictional couple, It is so refreshing I feel like we lack passion (not intimacy) in creative works compared to other fandoms I’ve been in and you can tell when an author is writing what feels true to their story
I truly hope more of the big byler authors don’t feel like they have to hold back on the level of emotion that could be in a scene in fear of a loudly ignorant part of the fandom 💙 like andiwriteordie’s heartbreak prince is an example im crossing my fingers for more romance and passion of the genre to come because the opportunity is there when they get together if that makes sense
but yes back on topic loved your fic and hope you continue to write your best work free as can be!!!
hello lovely anon tysm!!! i had so much fun w this fic and i'm glad u appreciate my spite-fueled creative uh. manic episode is the only way to describe what came over me while writing this fic. but anyway!!! i am a firm believer that byler should get to make out sloppy style in any and every universe <33 glad u agree
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leafdebrief · 9 months
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a tree falls in a forest
it was struck by lightning.
a weird thing that came from nature shot down from the sky unexpectedly. it's reasoning for location and target are not known. indiscernible really. all we know about it right now is that it must've been full of energy and crazy fucking power because a whole tree fell over when it got hit.
and now there's a fire all over the branches.
lots and lots of destructive energy flying everywhere indiscriminately.
now: you are looking right at a branch. right now. this branch is on fire. hello 👋 i am that fire.
let me tell you some things about myself to get acquainted. as a fire, if you want to ask me "what do you know how to do?" i could answer a couple of ways. if you mean know in a kind of "what does this thing do?" way, i can can at least answer in the spirit of your figure of speech.
i'd say:
if you must think of me, a fire, as something of intelligence that can know things, then i 'know' how to take a bunch of matter around me and turn it into energy that could potentially be very useful. if someone were to come along who happens to be the first actual intelligence to figure out how to use my energy, they might make some pretty neat tools. heck, they might kick off an evolution—i'd love to watch that, as a lowly fire with no real intelligence.
really though, i'd prefer to answer the question a bit more literally so nobody gets confused.
i'd probably go:
that's tricky to answer, because fires don't really know things. there's nothing really special about me, and if you look to the branch just over there, there's a really fucking huge fire burning that does my fire things even better right now! i look up to them in my fire passions of being a fire that burns.
and that's it?
well, pretty much. but when you think about it, there's still some neat things about just being a fire at all. despite not knowing how to be anything different, i still think fires everywhere are pretty hot.
and why's that?
well, for starters (ha! 🔥), in spite of all the fires on this tree being different sizes and temperatures, all of us can be a really fucking huge fire given the time and some tree to consume (ha!!! 💨) so it seems to me that all fires are equally badass the moment they start, right?
well that depends surely, because fires are destructive too. we know because those batteries you leave precariously close to yourself leave marks on our skin when the lithium in them touches you or any humidity in the air and loudly goes FfffrFSSSSHHHRRRttTtTt💨🔥
hey! you speak emojinese too?
it's just on my maternal side and i'm not conversational. stay focused please.
shit. sorry. got burnin there for a sec.
all good. but let's use that an example: i took my eye off you for one second and it got a little hairy in here. are you sure fires are even safe to be around?
oh definitely not. things with that much energy and no real intelligence to keep them at least in one spot just burn stuff. a lot! you should've seen this bridge support we were just making little marks on once, then in a few sec—
—f o c u s.
FUCK. ok. sorry again. what were we talking about?
fires are clearly not safe.
no no no ok i remember!! bear with me here. so fires: they burn things. i'm not going to try and sell you a false bill of goods there. but what i'm trying to impress is that someone who, for whatever reason—training, insanity, luck—is really good at managing fires, might have that intelligence that could take something destructive like me, a fire, and use it to actually do the opposite
chill my drink?
where did you even get that? is that scotch?? i'll take a vodka, room temp, highest proof you've got please
NO.
..🤏🥺🫱🍸.. 🫵🥃??? 👯‍♀️! 🔥!!!
👁️👁️👁️
OK FINE. you have the fun. i can still burn stuff. i've got wood. HA. erection jokes too. what do you have?? a bougie glass that you put ROCKS inside. ROCKS. can't burn that shit, and you pooOooOoUred perfectly good fuel aAAaAAaLL over them, just shao youccould rookallSHOOPEErio—
Jesus Christ. where did you even get that other bottle? how it is almost gone?
is there more? there was a tree here before but it looks–*HIC*–smaller in this lighting. i'm hungry now. do you do–*HIC*–all night poutine and also extra curd plzss
let's get you into a lamp somewhere, you seem a little burnt out tonight buddy. we're gonna grab a wick and move you in a second, just stay there ok?
(broken english/emojinese slurs) the really 😎 thing about 🔥s is the way they haff all🚫of like 🔻▪️shape like. NONEx but still 🔛when put in things be FULL! and if ʸᵒᵘ ᵖᵘᵗ 🔥ᶠⁱʳᵉʷᵒʳᵏ—.. (moves to cozy spot in dry grass) (sleepy ember is soaked in ethanol and not burning b/c oxygen kept at bay)
...hey where'd you go? i said stay put.
(..did any of you see a fire around here, bout yay tall? nothing? fucker's gotta be close, give me a holler if you smell burning weeds nearby ok please, it could be an emergency, thanks)
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ipsen · 11 months
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1, 4, 5, 7, 8, 12 and 13 for Holometabolism
Hoho, boy, here we go. After a read more!!
1 - What inspired you to write/update this work?
I once put in the tags of a post I can no longer remember that there are only two things that fuel the creative process: love and spite, which are ultimately the same thing-- a desire for something better than what came before.
I am not upset that Eto was scrubbed out of her role in TG:re. I am upset because she was ultimately treated as an afterthought by the story, and that most of her efforts are just attributed to Arima. It's one of Tokyo Ghoul's worst habits: giving men more pity and attention than women. And this is a story with really good women characters that fall flat simply because the story refuses to utilize them.
That is ultimately why I made Holometabolism.
4 - What’s the most challenging part about posting new/updated work? Do you find posting stressful or invigorating?
Posting as I go is probably the only way I can motivate myself to continue a multichapter work. I need some extra validation from sources besides myself, because personal passion can only get you so far in life. You must be uplifted by others in some capacity to, ultimately, make it anywhere.
The hardest part about posting is, to me, clicking the post button. Because I just know there's gonna be some formatting error or whatever that I missed and now I have to go back and FIX IT.
Oh well.
5 - How do you decide how long your fics/chapters will be? Do you have a word count goal?
For Holometabolism specifically, I liked to shoot for at least 4k words because that's a nice healthy number for me. It just seems like the longfics I myself enjoy have a similar word count per chapters, and I've just kinda grown accustomed to it.
But usually my process involves a vision, and then writing to get to said vision. I visualized an EtoKen ending for this fic and then went from there (I actually fleshed out Chapter 4 the most before any of the others, and it's the chapter that's retained the most of its original draft form). Word count isn't a generally a factor, but it does help keep me within a certain limit.
I'm all for a word vomit, but constraints are an integral part of quality. Also makes editing much easier when there's less to actually edit. I like editing the least.
7 - What part of this fic/chapter was the most fun to write?
Now here's a tricky question, because I have a lot of parts that I had so much fun, to the point where ranking them is honestly impossible.
I liked Eto and Touka's first conversation in Ch2. They are foils to one another, with similar backstories and personalities, but they approach things differently. Establishing that was important groundwork for their friendship later on in the fic.
Every time Hinami interacted with Eto was a joy. Hinami is this weird cross between Kaneki and Eto, like a strange brain child of theirs since she was influenced by both of them at key stages in her life.
Ch4's climax (haha) is near and dear to my heart. Not my best work by a longshot, but a very important piece that I'll cherish for a long time. Reconciling your ugliness and bearing it in the hopes for something better is something I want to believe I can do too. So I wrote two people doing it (haha).
Ch5's ending!! I loved taking "I am a ghoul" and making it a positive, awesome slogan! I felt bad having to follow it up with Ch6, honestly. SPEAKING OF--
Eto and Furuta's conversation and "rematch"! So much fun. What better to demonstrate her character development than by having her confront someone she definitely hates? Gotta pat myself on the back for that one.
8 - Which line/paragraph are you most proud of? Why are you proud of this?
Tricky question #2, I see. Well, if I have to pick one, then:
“Please don’t die, Eto,” [Hinami] choked out.
Eto pursed her lips. “Why?”
A few tears dropped onto their hands, coalescing into a small puddle on Eto’s knuckles. “Because… Because I’m not ready to say goodbye.” Hinami pressed their hands against her forehead. “Please… Even if you can’t smile, or laugh, or cry… Live.”
I intended this to be the turning point for Eto's character in this EtoKen fanfiction. A sin, to some, to not have the love interest be the one to start the redemption journey.
Hinami is another one of Eto's foils who is also in the unique position of being capable of holding real and sustainable affection for her. It was important to me to showcase that that was what it was: real, genuine love. Because Hinami, besides Kaneki, is the only person Eto would actually believe in 99% of circumstances, since the girl is both similar to Eto and honest with herself.
12 - What do you hope readers will take away from this work?
"You are worth it, even if you don't think you are." "There's always a little bit of hope for everyone." "Even if you can't smile, laugh, or cry... Live."
Life is mostly good, I like to think, and I wanted to underscore that belief with this fic. I want people to know that hope is stronger than despair, and that it is hope for the future and yourself that drives positive change. Something like that.
13 - Are there any cut lines/scenes from this work? Why did you cut them?
I have an entire document dedicated to "scenes that were Good to me, but either didn't flow properly with the story or just contributed very little to the progression of those involved." There's at least one scene per chapter, too.
I might actually post some of them here on tumblr someday, when I'm feeling enough energy to format each LOL
--
That's everything! Thanks for the ask!
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luna-purple454 · 10 months
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Some people’s motivation come from a passion they develop when they realize they like the thing they’re doing. Sometimes its to bring joy to others, even if it’s in the tiniest way possible.
My motivation is spite. I am a living human being fueled with the rage of a wet chihuahua, who’s only purpose is to survive to see others pissed off. Even if I’ve been told that I am pleasant to be around. When I get envious of other peoples skill or talent or something, I want it. I will do whatever it takes to best them, no matter it be art, grades, cooking, whatever.
I love thinking that somewhere, someone out there hates me for the fact that I am alive, and that I am living my best life out here. They are so pissed right now, and that’s giving me the energy to get up from bed and live my life to its fullest.
Happiness is just the bonus I feel when I spite others.
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hi emmy!! ♡ I hope you're doing well !! I wanted to ask for a ship, preferably for the Pacific :) um so here's some information on me!
Brief description of my looks; Curly hair that's brown with highlights of blonde and red. It's like a mixture of my parents hair colours. I am tall, 175cm. Fashion wise; Starting to get into more of some sort of punk fashion. I like fashion in general but punk fashion has been especially cool as of late, imo. Band tees!! I wait for the day a pretentious man asks me for songs by the hand; I'll list a whole album to spite the man. My friend calls me her scary dog privilege !! The same friend (I love her sm) labeled my eyes sea glass. My facial expressions are either sorrowful or a bit stand-offish. No in-between.
Personality; As you can tell I can be talkative but in that same sense, I am very quiet. I enjoy observing rather than speaking. I am a bit shy and tend to blush rather easily. Oftentimes, people find me to be therapeutic which has its ups and downs. I have the tendency to act like a leader, it just comes naturally? Especially if there are people much younger than me in a group setting. I love making jokes. I love seeing people smile and enjoy the moment, that's the most beautiful sight. I have photoshopped cowboy hats onto pictures of my friends & set those photos as their contact pictures. I don't think this is a personality trait but I'll say it; I am Jewish. Oh! So important thing to me; Music!! I listen to music all the time. Some bands I enjoy include; the pogues, the clash, second thoughts, the ramones, joy division, stone roses. The list goes on, actually here's a band name that'll make you laugh; "The nipples erectors" um, don't ask me lmao. Anyway!! I'm an equestrian, english discipline. Oh, I love geography!! I'm trying to memorize the world map. I write. Like a lot. I'm passionate about a lot... oh yeah, I suppose I need to mention I struggle with depression & have a baggage that I'd rather not say out loud... but it exists and greatly distorts how I view my body. also if this helps; I'm an infp and type 3 enneagram.
Anyway, thanks!! Mwah!!
Hi babe!! honestly i feel like you and i would be fashion twins irl!! your style sounds so cool ngl <3
I ship you with:
Bob Leckie from The Pacific!
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ship theme song: She's My Religion by Pale Waves
okay Leckie lowkey needs and craves a punk bitch gf!!
the man tries so hard to be an edgelord stg
he needs a punk queen in his life!!!
i feel like he would just see you walking down the street one day
and he's just like
"god damn... this girl is my QUEEN"
is it your sea glass-colored eyes that captivated him first?
or your ripped fishnets and doc martens??
who can say???
dude probably writes romantic emo poetry about you at 2am in his bedroom
literally pining after you and he works up the nerve to finally ask you out
like Leckie, you're either very quiet or a chatterbox
no in between
he appreciates your quietness and conversation equally
Leckie thinks its so dang cute when you blush
so he tries to make you blush often
over the most stupid stuff, too!
he loves going on double dates with you and Runner and his gf
or Chuckler and his gf
and your natural leadership tendencies take over
he'll just smile at you stupidly
but inside he's just like
"oh yeah... that's my dang gf >:)"
he's so intrigued by your Jewish heritage
he loves going to Passover at your family's place each year
your parents are totally smitten with him
but his most favorite thing to do with you is to go to the record store on Saturdays
he'll let you pick out as many records as you want
and will gladly buy them for you
depend on Leckie to fuel your music addiction >:)
he loves how passionate you are about everything you do
he considers himself really lucky to know a girl like you <3
also, Leckie is deals with his own certain type of baggage
so he's no stranger to anxiety and depression
he hopes that you'll share your worries and doubts with him
and he'll be open and truthful with you as well :)
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alwritey-aphrodite · 2 years
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after a lot of consideration....how about a ship? for an oscar character mayhaps? 👀 I am on the shorter side, with a perpetual babyface and long goldish brown hair. I'm soft-spoken but silly and enthusiastic and sarcastic, I love watching movies and dancing and creating things...and I almost always have a cup of coffee in hand 😅
I would have sent a moodboard request instead but tbh you've already written my fave vibes so 👀
OK OK OK LISTEN Poe Dameron is your perfect match, no doubt about it.
This man is fueled by spite, hope, and caffeine (and his love for you), so he’d be happy to supply you with coffee any time of day, no questions asked. He loves your sarcastic side, even when it’s directed at him, but whenever your enthusiastic or passionate about something he just sits there and listens with stars in his eyes. No thoughts, head empty, he thinks you’re perfect. He’d love to relax and dance with you, any style any time. His personal favorite though would be the gentle swaying the two of you do when it’s late and you’re tired and standing in the kitchen as close as possible. He can’t help but to sway you gently, back and forth, even though there’s no music playing.
Also please feel free to send in as many requests for as many things as you’d like (I can’t promise they’ll get done in a timely manner but I can promise that I’ll enjoy doing them <3)
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undeadorion-archive · 4 months
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It’s forever disappointing how middle class white women manage to suck the absolute life out of everything they touch. They take something that’s supposed to be vibrant and personal and expressive and turn it into carbon copy beige mush.
I wanted to see some art journals to get inspired. I expected messy sketches and rough concepts and cool color experiments.
But what I got instead were variations on the exact same mixed media approach. Stick down something beige, like a torn page of a book. Paste down other random stuff. Use specifically white gesso to "hide the edges". Once you’ve made a big mess stick down something of a different style or color and call it "the focus".
Art is one of those things that has no right or wrong answers. There are as many ways to do art as there are people in the world. And yet they managed to find the one and only wrong answer to art. They stripped out every ounce of personality and personal expression, reducing it to a weirdly mechanical process. Not one or two people doing the same thing over and over but more people than I could count, just following the same process with only the most incidental of deviations. It was surreal. Flipping through video after video of these people walking through their process. Never once talking about anything beyond the products being used and "I like this color" and sticking down a random pre-printed quote as an afterthought. They managed to somehow remove the art from the art. They’re making art with less passion than doodles on an envelope during a phone call. They took an art form that is inherently chaotic and grungy and made it bland and boring.
Then again, these are probably the sort of people who buy mass produced beige rainbows on Etsy.
I guess I found inspiration after all because I am now driven to make something that would make those people visibly recoil if they saw it. Because I am fueled by spite.
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hydralisk98 · 10 months
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Sorry for the lack of activity today
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Processing a couple of emotional setbacks on my end as I get pushed around to do more activities outdoors. Understandable but fueling a lot of unnecessary angst and hatred towards whom are directly concerned about the matter.
So yeah... I hope I get interesting things going for both of us here relatively soon. Farewell…
Edit1:
I am so freaking pissed off about my out-of-touch father specifically, and such angst & spite grown so much that even my mother is avoided by association. I legitimately can do so much but I feel depressed and mad over both of them as they crush my ambitions on sight.
My mental state is fragile too, I could burst into rage, confronting my father on a regular basis and burn him out of sight. I feel he is a toxic person (a lesser of evils but still) and I want him out of my life as he pushes me to do activities outdoors whilst I am more dangerous to myself and to others.
I get it, but I am passionate about things at my pace and in my home apartment and as he treats everybody like tools, I can’t help but forgoe sympathy for him period. Not worth my time, nor anybody else’s.
I feel numb and it is on me and on you two, parents.
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