#how the fuck old are you xena?
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For a while I’ve been trying to articulate why XWP means so much to me, and I think I’ve figured it out. It seems to come from a bizzaro world where everything is just. Equal. It feels like a real feminist show because the women are so respected.
I realized this when watching episode 6 (or seven maybe?) there was a scene where Xena was imprisoned, feet chained to the floor and hands to the ceiling. A group of men came in with the express purpose to harm, and in a moment of clarity I realized that I didn’t fear for Xena in the way I did for every other female in fantasy. Fantasy (as a male dominated genre) is full of sexual violence towards women, often used as story beats or just shock. It permeates women’s real lives and bleeds into what they read for escapist fantasy. For a long time I’ve felt as if nowhere is truly safe, because most fantasy media eventually has a scene or two where a woman is violated, or a costume that’s glorified lingerie, and I have to remind myself that this genre was never made with women in mind. But that scene ended with Xena beating the shit out of them, because they tried to beat her. Not assault or grab, just punches and kicks, like men would fight in fantasy. And she fucking won because she’s Xena and she’s awesome.
Again, in many episodes men want her. But they’re never violent towards her. In the show she is treated like a man would be treated in any fantasy setting. With respect. That’s true escapism for me, some world where that kind of violence either doesn’t exist or isnt prevalent. A world so easy to make, and yet so often thrown aside because of “historical accuracy”. In fiction. The specifically not historically accurate genre where you can pull anything out of your ass and people just kinda have to vibe with that.
I’ve also mentioned this before, but it’s so rare in fantasy for women to be…carefree I guess? Most of them are jaded from past violence, or future survivors, or meek healers, or old wise women. None of which are very allowed to be silly like their male counterparts. They’re always serious, always the voice of reason. Always so reigned in from what male characters are allowed to be. Xena has a dark past, but she’s still kind. The story is still light. Women are allowed to be happy without being victimized.
XWP is fantasy first and foremost, and it works wonders. There are POC everywhere, and nobody calls attention to it because, well, that’s just how it is in Xena-land. There’s no sexual violence toward any strong women, because, well, that’s just how it is in Xena-land. People fight on bamboo poles and race chariots in rivers and the steaks only go up to “Ooooo she has to marry the big bad” which never goes anywhere because we all know Xena is gonna stop them.
Xena Warrior Princess is always gonna be my favorite fantasy show, because it’s fantasy that’s finally geared towards women. A fantasy where women are safe, are capable, are treated in the same regard as men with no quippy girl-power one-liners because nobody needs to quip about the status quo. In a genre where women are so often demeaned and violated for minor story beats or shock value, seeing a work that actually feeds into a more female fantasy is what I’m obsessed with. It’s wonderful to see a magical world where women don’t have to live in fear. Or they do, like because cyclops’s n shit but everybody else does that too.
PS: this mostly applies to modern fantasy. Tolkien and Lewis were two authors I grew up on who I largely blame for my fantasy obsession today.
#xena warrior princess#xena and gabrielle#xenaverse#Never seen Hercules. but I really hope it’s at least the same caliber as this.#posts made wayyyy too late yall I am in my feelings.#xwp#Lucy Lawless??? more like Lucy FLAWLESS
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Guardian really set my expectations of "censored bl cdramas" and man that was a high bar and probably not fair of me to expect.
Guardian really opens with Zhao Yunlan asking Shen Wei "are you married? You're such a catch. Can I take you out to eat? Here's my number A-Lan call me" which like even on face value id say thats called flirting (unless I guess ur so straight Straight blinders on that 2 men have to physically fuck in front of u to consider something gay)
Then of course there's shen weis pining shit but like, that's not Hammer down obvious to I guess the most oblivious person in denial
But Zhu Hong saying she likes Zhao Yunlan, Zhao Yunlan repeatedly refusing her and feeling bad about it, Zhu Hong repeatedly acknowledging he picked SHEN WEI over her (making it fairly clear it was a romantic pick and she Lost it to a guy) and shen Wei, brick that he can be at times, tells her it will only take a few years for the feelings to fade when she'll get over Zhao yunlan. The guy in love with him, instead of her. Yeah shen wei, she's definitely not wishing she could stab you for that insensitive remark. But she's too good of a person to.
Which. I'd say the above two points establish fairly overtly that: Zhao Yunlan is into men, that his colleagues assume he's also into women (if Zhu Hong thinks she has a chance), and that Shen Wei is Zhao Yunlans romantic pick. So Shen Weis sexuality? Well he doesn't dispute being Zhao Yunlans romantic pick, and Lin Jing assumes they're lovers with dialogue (yes he's saying opposite day stuff but his opposite day is just not being a liar and spy). So Shen Weis sexuality includes Zhao Yunlan.
And so like that's just. Fairly overt explicit stuff about their relationship. There's also the "a very oblivious person could argue its only implied" flirting. (And everything going on with Lao Chu and Xiao Guo, the side couple... oh my heart ;-; when they almost froze... the family dinner at Xiao guos... Lao chu admiring how kind Xiao Guo is, scaring him trying to say he's a cannibal and Xiao Guo not running away)
There's the coat sharing macho trying to be the man helping the damsel both of those fuckers do galore, shen wei moving in across the hall (which is either stalker or deeply in love or - as is true, both), shen wei implicitly moving in (this one's vague ill admit to be fair), the fucking "You're good with your hands" line from Zhao yunlan which is absolutely a porn line, every villain in the show viscerally aware Zhao Yunlan is who Shen Wei wants to protect, Ye Zun pretending to be Shen Wei by calling Zhao Yunlan cute names and asking if his outfit looks nice (and all of That), Zhao yunlans romantic ass hit me through the heart line of "if you're trouble I want a lifetime of you" at the wedding (not ever over it), the fucking lollipop scene in ye old haixing. Just a bunch of flirty type scenes, romantic tropes galore. And that's not even covering the actual genuine subtext of ALL the cases paralleling how shen wei and/or how Zhao yunlan feel implicitly (which are just subtext to be fair... how shen wei thinks he lost kunlun, how Zhao yunlan ISNT him so it hurts he's a stranger or he IS in which case he's a liar and shen weis grieving, the case where a dixingren and human love each other and Zhao yunlan notices he wants to be close to shen wei even though shen weis lying etc).
Like. They felt as canon as Tara X Willow in Buffy. Or at least as much as Xena x Gabrielle, the center relationship of the show where all stories of the episodes are always at least in some way about them.
#guardian#weilan#meta#rant#to be fair: word of honor cdrama did JUST as much as guardian on feeling basically canonically explicitly gay#as long as u can interpret overt flirting with men and them being soulmates as love.#cause yeah there are no kisses. but still like... yeah theyre in love.#and like.. man zhu hongs love triangle plot is Central in making the Guardian romance as overt as it is#obviously irs easy to put in: its a girl love interest for zhao yunlan#but its also a love interest he Rejects for shen wei. so like. cdrama land says he cant say i love you to a man?#but he can say he doesnt love a girl and hes picked the man instead. im just saying it works well to make that overtly clear#dont even get me started on chuguo ;-; i love them so much and acting defijitely helped intensify it
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Press Play Pt. 2
Roman Reigns x Black Female! OC (Xena)
Rating: 18+
Warning: No warning really, just sad times 😔.
“Being the girlfriend to a famous divorced father of 5 wasn’t your plan at 26 years old. You trusted him with your life, so you agreed to film a little something, but now you regret ever meeting him when your whole life is exposed.”
A/N: Last part on next Sunday and it’s gonna be something special. I hope you all enjoy this part and I may or may not have given another cliffhanger.
GIF: @jeysuso
It’s been a week since the video leak and since you last saw Roman. And let’s just say the media has YET to let up.
“Roman Reigns, Rated R?! Take A Sneak Peak Into The Spicy Life Of The Hot and Heavy Heavyweight.”
“Roman Reigns Purposely Post His Sex Tape In Spite Of Ex-Wife’s New Beau?!”
“Roman’s Slut, Gold Digging Girlfriend EXPOSED For The Clout Chaser She Is.”
“Roman Reigns Losing Fans?! Did He Release His Tape In Order To Suffice His Absence On SmackDown?!”
Yeah it was a lot…
But, nonetheless you had a huge support system around you and they made you feel better.
The video wasn’t that bad as no one saw anything other than the curve of your ass. But you shouting how much of a little cock slut you were. That one part stretched across social media and your Instagram comments was filled with “I’m a little slut” and “Fuck me harder daddy.”
The day of the incident swirled in your head back and forth. The tears in Roman’s eyes was unlike anything you’ve seen before. His deep and uncontrollable breaths broke your heart.
As much as you loved him, he hurt you bad. Nearly 300 missed calls in only a week. 440 text notifications and 50 attempted FaceTime calls. Through your Ring Doorbell, you could see his many attempts to reach you in person.
You were hiding out at your best friend’s house knowing he would try to see you, but you’d have to go home soon since your best friend was going to see her family.
“You’re gonna have to go eventually sis.” You sat on her couch, wig barely on, nails chipped, tissues all around you, and a tub of ice cream as your new best friend. “Do I have to?!” You put on your best puppy dog eyes.
“Sweetie that’s not gonna work on me. I’m gonna see my family and I don’t want to come back to police tape surrounding my front yard.”
Rolling your eyes you sat up and began to clean up. “Look sis, I want to be better. You’ve always been tough and I know you’ve gotten over this. The real problem is, you’re missing Ro.” The mention of his name made you tense.
“Can we not Taylor?!”
“Xena… we have to. I know you miss him, but he didn’t mean to.” “HE HURT ME TAY.” The tears began to form in your eyes at the thought of your fall out.
Hands on hips, Taylor wasn’t feeling your reaction.
“That man has made you the happiest I’ve ever seen. It’s been THREE YEARS, you can’t just ditch out on him for something you don’t even talk about anymore. Every night it’s, ‘why did he hurt me?!’ ‘I thought he loved me.’ ‘He was supposed to be the one, we talked about marriage and kids’, and you just want to throw that away over a mistake. If I recall you agreed to a sex tape, and of course you didn’t want it out there, but it is and the best thing you could is hear him out.”
You sat down, absorbing everything Taylor just said and she was right.
Roman made a mistake, a really, stupid mistake. But, you knew his heart and knew he didn’t mean what he did. You weren’t the only suffering in this situation. His kids were suffering, his family, his business, and he himself was suffering.
“You know what you need to do Xe.”
“I do.”
“You guys still have that baecation booked and I’m pretty sure you can’t cancel.”
Your eyes jumped out of its socket in realization. You and Roman planned a little trip to Bora Bora to spend more time together.
And now… you had to come face to face with him.
Roman’s POV
I’ve called and called and called, but to no avail. Even though the clips that circulated are no longer visible, nothing can ever be erased from the internet.
My ex-wife’s barking finally stopped. My kids last four kids are pretty young, and don’t understand. My oldest daughter definitely knew what was going on. Luckily, she didn’t disown me as her father, but she definitely was disappointed. I didn’t teach her to do that, so I shouldn’t have done that.
But, the only thing on my mind was Xena.
Her smile, her eyes, her hair, her stunning body, the way she laughed, the way she hugged me, the way she kissed me, the way she looked at me , and just the overall way she loved me.
I never felt so loved by someone in my life.
I stared at the diamond ring resting on my bedside table. I came up with the idea to plan a getaway to Bora Bora, which Xena thought was just to spend more time together. But, in reality it was plan to propose.
I’ve been with this… well I guess was in a relationship with this woman for three years. My parents loved her, my kids, and even my ex-wife had a relationship with her. Lying in bed alone at night was something I haven’t felt in a long time.
The tears began to well just at the mere thought of her gorgeous smile and beautiful chemistry between us. I began to sob, missing her badly.
The trip still fluttering in my mind, as we had to leave tonight and I was afraid I’d be leaving by myself. As my tears began to dry, I heard my phone ding. Strengthening my self back up, I pick up my phone and my mouth dropped.
“La’u Tausala 🤩😈.”
iMessage
I quickly open up my phone wondering what she had to say after ignoring me for so long.
“Don’t forget about the trip, you’re supposed to pick me up at 6 tonight.”
My heart couldn’t stop beating. I could tell she wasn’t really mad at me, cause she’d totally would block me.
“Of course, I’ll be there at 6. Also, I’m really sorry angel. It was never my intent to release that tape, it was private and I invaded your privacy. I hope you could have it in your heart to understand how remorseful I am. I love you baby with every fiber in my being, and I can’t see myself without you. I’ll see you tonight ❤️.”
Seen
Xena’s POV
It was 5:54 and I was currently wrestling my luggage, trying to get it to close.
It was a trip to Bora Bora, so of course I wasn’t bailing. But, I really didn’t want to see Roman right now. Yet, Taylor was right, I missed him badly and I was totally over the comments and headlines.
The hurt in my heart still yearned and longed. Then, the doorbell rang. I ran downstairs and looked out the window. Roman’s black Escalade stood tall in my driveway. I took a deep breath and opened the door.
There he was…
Tall, dark, and handsome.
His tan and lean body clad in an all black sweatsuit, all black Jordan’s enclosing his feet.
His hair kept well in a tight ponytail. Not a strand out of place.
“Hey.”
You draw from your thoughts and spoke up.
“Hey, umm I’m still trying to get my suitcase to close so I’ll out in a second.”
“I can help out if you want.”
I contemplated whether or not I should let him in, but I just couldn’t.
“No, I-I got it. Just wait in the car for me please.” He smiled lightly and headed back to the car. I close the door and held my back against it.
“I don’t even know what’s gonna happen on this trip and honestly I don’t wanna know.”
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What’s gonna happen on the baecation?! Find out next week on the final part to “Press Play”
THE END.
MY TAG SQUAD: @cyberdejos2 @thesamoanqueen @nayys-world @mzv11 @babybatlover @vogueyonce @harmshake @harlem11680 @seeingstarks @thewarlordsworld @alyyaanna @southerngirl41 @christinabae @pitlissa22 @thealliasylum @fame-ass-ers @iluvthebloodline
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You guys have no idea how happy it makes me to see so many people discovering and rediscovering Xena.
When I tell you that I have been watching this show since I was 5 years old and - at the age I am now - I believe that it’s the most incredible thing that I have ever watched in my life… I mean it so very sincerely.
With a burning conviction. Like no joke guys…
I have just watched and completely fallen in love with what I think is probably the second greatest TV show for genuine WLW representation in it - Wynonna Earp - but I can still say that Xena is still leagues ahead in ways that shouldn’t have ever been possible for it to be in the times that it was created and aired on TV in.
What they did with Xena was so remarkable that I honestly believe that it can never be done again.
It existed in a time and place that allowed for it just the once and then you’d never ever see anything as groundbreaking (an EPIC WLW love story) as what it was ever again. It is so special. Not just for that but for many other reasons… but specifically because of that.
Xena is many things but it’s regarded as THE OG WLW show. The first, and in a lot of ways, only main characters WLW love story from episode 1 to the last.
And the reason why it was able to achieve it?
It was never canon. But please - don’t let that put you off because I’m here to tell you that it doesn’t matter.
And even - in a way - actually really helps it be better representation than anything canon ever will be.
Even better representation than WayHaught. And I’ve seen for myself what that WLW couple does but I will always have in the back of my mind each time I watch their scenes or engage in any talk about them, that Wynonna Earp WOULD NOT if Xena didn’t do it first.
And that’s kinda a catchphrase we Xenites have when it comes to this. “Xena did it first!”. You can even buy the merch t-shirt that has that caption all over it. 😄
But yeah, I’m telling you. When you start your watch of ‘Xena: Warrior Princess” - or if you already have, just wait it out. Don’t anticipate it straight away. Slow burn is the key thing with Xena and Gabrielle. And believe me - it makes watching them hella fucking worth it!
#xena warrior princess#amazon prime us#for newbie watchers#if you’re watching for#xena and gabrielle#wlw representation
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20 Questions for Fic Writers
Thanks to @ninzied for the tag!
How many works do you have on ao3?
120!
What's your total ao3 word count?
1,371,932
What fandoms do you write for?
RWRB, TMFU, Lokius
Top five fics by kudos:
Please Don't Let Me Be So Understood
Nova, Baby
Class(room) Warfare
All the Old Showstoppers
Always Where I Need To Be
Do you respond to comments?
I try. I used to be very good at responding but my backlog has gotten extreme (1491 unanswered comments as of right now, if you're curious) so at this point I pretty much only answer if it's a chapter in an ongoing multichap, or someone asks a question.
What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
I have a caradin fic that's straight up a break-up fic with no resolution, but I still feel like my angstiest is probably Black Moon (napollya), because they're in love but the situation is so fucking bleak. Sorry guys.
What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
Any of them that end with a proposal lol? I've got a lot of fluffy fics and all of my long fics end with pure fluff, so I don't think I could pick out one.
Do you get hate on fics?
I have been lucky not to really get any, at least lately. I've gotten... less than polite comments, of course, but no outright hate (knock on wood).
Do you write smut?
Yes, although I would not say it's an integral part of my writing tbh.
Craziest crossover:
Craziest might be Maybe, This Time, which is a Mandalorian/BSG crossover that involves dimension-hopping lol.
Have you ever had a fic stolen?
Not that I know of.
Have you ever had a fic translated?
Yes! I've had a few of my TMFU works translated and now there's someone in the RWRB fandom that translates most (!!) of my fics into Mandarin, which is mind blowing and flattering and I'm so grateful because I've gotten comments from people who have read them translated and loved them.
Have you ever co-written a fic before?
Not yet!
All time favorite ship?
I don't think I can pick one; some of my past ships are just that—past—but there are a few I will carry in my heart forever.
What's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?
If I want to finish it, I will, even if it takes a long time. I might stop wanting to finish a wip, but that's not the question is it?
What are your writing strengths?
Banter/dialogue, action, pacing, plots. People have told me that they can picture my scenes like a movie because of the description and that makes me feel good.
What are your writing weaknesses?
Although I have my moments, I don't really tend to think of my writing as beautiful. I'm just not that poetic/lyrical.
Thoughts on dialogue in another language?
Sure! If it's in my own fic I usually have a native speaker look over it (I haven't done this lately but I have gotten Russian consults for TMFU fics).
First fandom you wrote in?
Xena: Warrior Princess, back when that show was airing. Fanfic primarily distributed over internet mailing lists and posted on your own website.
Favorite fic you've written?
Stealing Nina's idea and doing one in each of my main fandoms I've written in because it's hard to pick (even then this was rough).
Nova, Baby Series—Spy AU, Firstprince
Love is a Losing Game—Chess AU, Napollya (SHOCKER I KNOW)
What Makes a Good Man Series—Spy AU, Lokius
Here It Goes Again—The Mandalorian (Caradin but mostly Din character study in a time loop)
I'm not sure who's been tagged and who hasn't or even everyone who has done this, but a few tags below the cut. If you'd like to do it, jump in!
@kiwiana-writes, @rmd-writes, @three-drink-amy, @cricketnationrise, @14carrotghoul
@leaves-of-laurelin, @tintagel-or-cockleshells, @inexplicablymine, @firenati0n, @liminalmemories21
@orchidscript, @sparklepocalypse, @loki-is-my-kink-awakening, @mirilyawrites, @heytheredeann
@nicijones, @justabigoldnerd, @myheartalivewrites
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hello! i hope im not bothering you with this ask or anything, but i really love your blog and the thoughts you write, so i wanted to ask if you any other titles you would reccomend that are similar to berserk (not necessarily in terms of setting, but mostly the Vibe) and deal with similar themes (i watched and read devilman!). i would accept anything tbh, be it a book or movie or a series. thanks in advance, hope you have a good week! :)
Thank you very much, and yeah I'd be happy to rec a few other things I like that have some similarities! Some of these similarities are pretty thin lol, but tbf Berserk is pretty unique, at least in terms of media I'm into, and I've seen some good homoerotic movies recently.
Anime/Manga:
Claymore is compared to Berserk fairly regularly, and it's not just for the big swords. There's no griffguts equivalent, but it's got medieval fantasy monster hunting vibes, similar themes wrt human nature (though more shounen, power of love-esque lol), great action scenes and cool monster designs, and a lot of great female characters with interesting relationships, which isn't similar to Berserk but it's a bonus by itself.
I've also seen Vinland Saga compared to Berserk, and again there's no griffguts equivalent, but there's a very Griffith-esque character who has an AU where Griffith became king the old fashioned way vibe, and a central theme is revenge.
An anon a while ago made the point to me that Light from Death Note is similar to Griffith in a few ways, such as wanting to create a kind of ideal world, and being very charismatic and having culty followers who view him as a god.
Books:
tbh I have a bad memory for books I've read, but here are a couple I read specifically because of Berserk similarities:
I read As Meat Loves Salt by Maria McCann because I was told it had griffguts vibes, and it did. Medieval lone wolf is recruited by idealistic blond mercenary who wants to create a utopia, falls in love with him, and gets fucked over. It's very dark, darker in some ways than Berserk, but it was a good read imo. More in depth post on it with warnings here.
Captive Prince by CS Pacat is known for the author having based one of the characters partially on Griffith, and you can tell lol. It's a fun read if you don't mind or are into the tropey sex slave setting, with an engaging gay romance that has surface similarities to griffguts, though the vibe of the relationship was fairly different to me. But like, the political scheming felt like a Golden Age AU to me. It's been a while since I've read it but for warnings there's rape, csa, incest, and sex slavery not portrayed positively but like, used as erotic scene setting if that's a dealbreaker.
TV Shows:
Hannibal! It's got intense homoeroticism, it's got betrayal, it's got an operatic level of intensity, it's fun to dissect analytically, violence revenge and trauma are significant themes, one character tries to escape his life ruining feelings for the other by killing him, and it's just a great time.
Yellowjackets also has strong themes of violence and how it's a temptation, and though I wouldn't compare any of the relationships to griffguts exactly, there's an intense tragic homoerotic friendship that haunts one of the characters decades later.
Xena has a campy overpowered anti hero dressed in black leather wrestling with their inner darkness and in love with a blonde, also a flirty exes kind of relationship with a god (though that's hetero lol). Not really similar tonally and no griffguts equivalent, but it's got some similar themes wrt violence, revenge, human connection saving your soul from darkness, etc, and it's a gr8, fun show.
Black Sails has a kind of love vs revenge thing going on, as well as an attempt to overturn the social order and create a utopian kingdom. In some ways it's similar in tone as well, often pretty dark and violent, but with some very funny moments, and set in a fictionalized historical setting. No griffguts equivalent, but all these shows are extremely gay.
Movies:
Ladyhawke gets a lot of comparisons to Berserk, and may have been one of Miura's inspirations since he cited Rutger Hauer movies. Starcrossed wolf and hawk themed lovers, medieval setting, significant eclipse, it's got the vibes.
Hellraiser is one of Miura's stated inspirations iirc, and I mean yeah lol. It's the godhand as sadomasochists. Idk that there's that much in common in terms of theme, but the aesthetic is there.
Yk what? The Lost Boys. Homoerotic, campy fun, brooding teen is recruited into a gang and has sexual tension with the leader... that should count.
Star Trek: The Motion Picture starts with Spock trying to purge all his emotions after we can only assume breaking up with Kirk, and failing, and it's a parallel to a godlike being learning to love.
Okay hear me out on this one... Sweet Smell of Success is like if there was no Guts and instead the homoeroticism was between Griffith and the King, and it was set in the New York world of 50s gossip columnists, and look, I recently watched and adored this movie and I want to rec it. And hey, it's about doing fucked up shit to feed your ambition and being pretty and charming while you do it.
The Favourite is about a servant seducing and manipulating her way to power in a royal court, kind of an f!Griffith AU without a Guts if you look at it a certain way. But also it's another movie I love and want to rec based on at least one similarity lol.
Uh, Merry Christmas Mr Lawrence is about a dude wanting to fuck a hot charismatic and guilt-ridden blond guy but being too repressed to go for it? Great movie in general. Also Midnight Cowboy is about trauma induced gay repression while we're at it.
And finally, Paul Verhoeven's sci fi trifecta of Robocop, Total Recall, and Starship Troopers have virtually nothing in common with Berserk in terms of theme, character, relationships, etc. But the tone feels exactly like the Black Swordsman arc to me lol, to the point where I've always said that the only live action Hollywood adaption of Berserk I'd accept is the one Verhoeven directed in the 90s in an alternate universe. Miura was directly inspired by one of his 80s movies that I've never seen, Flesh and Blood, and yeah, I feel like you can kind of feel the inspiration.
I have other rec lists, as well as things people have recced to me often on the basis of similarities to Berserk/griffguts that I haven't checked out yet, in this tag, so I'd highly recommend browsing through it for more media suggestions. And if anyone wants to jump in with more recs for things that remind you of Berserk in some way, please do!
#ask#b#anonymous#not berserk#theme: opinion#if you only watch one black and white movie in your life and you're a fan of fucked up homoeroticism sweet smell of success#is a winning choice
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If you're old (like me) and you still think about Xena sometimes (a lot) don't you ever just think that if god exists they must be a total fucking moron? Don't you think they accidentally took Kevin Smith when they meant to take Kevin Sorbo? Don't you think about how we're just stuck here with this awful guy's anti-vax rants and clear resentment of our Good Girl Lucy Lawless for having the more popular show when we could have been watching Hot Guy Ares age like a fine wine? Don't you just BURN sometimes???
#xena warrior princess#ares#lucy lawless#kevin smith#xena#personal#whip for ts#drunk post#as a new zealander i promise you we feel this the most strongly#YOU GOT THE WRONG KEVIN YOU GOD DAMN ASSHOLE
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tagged by @sideguitars Thank you for the tag!
1. What sort of content do you create, and what is the thing you’ve made that you’re most proud of?
I guess I've mostly focused on offramps from canon and expanding the scope of the world that I'm playing around in
2. What fandom(s) do you create for?
Supergirl for the most part but I have a few other fandoms I'm dabbling in: Warrior Nun, MCU and Killing Eve
3. What is your current favourite ship (or brotp if you prefer), and how controversial is it?
Supercorp. I guess it's more controversial than I ever realized? I've somehow been able to avoid or outright not see any of the discourse online which is probably for the best.
4. For your answer to question 3, are they canon?
No but what is canon?
5. What was your first fandom, and how old were you?
I would say either Xena or The X-Files. I think I'd have to give the win to the X-Files because I was much more certain that I would be abducted by aliens
6. What is your most unhinged fandom creation to date?
Unhinged... Probably the MCU/Supergirl crossover I'm writing now. Lena gets yeeted to Earth-616. Not many days you get to see Matt Murdock and Kara Danvers having a conversation or Lena dancing with Peggy...
7. Do you remember what started you off creating fandom content, and if so, what was it?
Funnily enough, I was quite ignorant about the existence of fandom content. I've always liked writing so it was a very short hop to start making stories that I wanted to see inbetween the bad poetry and short stories.
8. Do you let people you know in real life see your fandom creations?
My gf reads my stuff but beyond that I'm quiet private when it comes to my fandom creations.
9. How do you feel about fanworks of fanworks? Has anyone ever made something based on a thing you made?
I feel like at its core that's what fandom is essentially. So to see these offshoots of someone's own work it's for the most part flattering. But I do see the other side of the coin where someone might feel protective of their work and find it difficult to give their blessing to it.
10. What feeling do you most often try to evoke with your creations?
I don't know if there would be a feeling above any of the others that I'm trying to evoke with my writing. I guess if I had to pick I might say I hope that it makes you cry. Angsty angsty tears
11. Has someone ever paid your work a compliment (in any form) that has stuck with you, and what was it?
I've been very blessed to have a handful of people create art for some of my fics and that's maybe the biggest compliment I could ever hope to get. To see it come to life in a different way is really magical. But I would say that every compliment has really meant so much to me.
12. What’s your favourite thing someone else has made that you’ve seen in the last 24 hours (and link it if you can find it again!)
I've been very blessed to get to see snippets from @sideguitars about fics they have in progress and those have all just been so deliciously angsty.
13. Give a small sneak preview of something you’re working on right now (eg a couple of sentences of fic from a WIP, a gif set theme, a small piece of a larger picture, whatever you feel happy to share)
I'll give a grab bag of things in various states of chaos
Snippet from my Lena learns magic from Johanna Constantine fic
“Where the fuck is it?” the woman asked. She advanced on Lena, looming over her. Not content to simply tower over Lena she leaned over her and seized her by the shoulders, hard as if she meant to shake her if she didn’t get a favorable answer.
Whatever anger she might have felt at being spoken to in such a way or to have this stranger lay hands on her was nothing compared to the fear that still held her in place. It had robbed her of not only her strength but it had stolen whatever scathing remark she would have normally had at the ready in response to the woman’s question.
“Where’s what?” Lena managed to ask in a voice that at least sounded mostly like her own.
“The grimoire or scroll or whatever magical thing you’ve decided to fuck around with that lured a demon here.” The woman examined Lena carefully, a flicker of dull recognition coming alight in her eyes. “Fuck me,” she grumbled. “You’re Lena Luthor, aren’t you? Yeah, it’s you. I’d recognize that jawline anywhere.” The woman ran her hand along her own face in what Lena had to assume was a mocking gesture. “Why is it you rich people always want to muck around with the occult? You can’t be that bloody bored.”
The Lucifer Crossover that I don't feel is good enough to share
"Yes, I remember," Lena said sourly. "When I asked the devil for a favor I was under the assumption that the eventual repayment would come much later and be far less annoying.”
"As did I,” Lucifer said, making a hard right that sent a bolt of pain through Lena’s temple. “Usually when I call in favors they’re a lot more fun for me. I’m the devil, not some wish-granting fairy-godmother.” He appeared to shudder at the thought and focused his attention back on the road. “I can assure you that Linda is the best of the best. She’s been my therapist for years now…”
“So,” Lena said slowly, rattling the pill caddy before tossing it back into his lap. “This is you after years of therapy?”
and a peek at the MCU/Supergirl crossover brain rot
“You got my message,” Lena said, relieved to have an excuse to put her pen down.
“I got your message,” Lillian said. “I also saw the news.” A flicker of annoyance passed over her face and Lena instinctively braced herself for whatever venom would come spilling out of her mouth. “Why?” she asked. She tilted her head at an insouciant angle as if trying to suss out Lena’s reasoning before she could answer.
“I didn’t think people would sleep very well at night if they learned that out of nowhere that the sky ripped open and aliens from another Earth destroyed half the city.”
14. Have you ever seen/read anything made by the person who tagged you? If so, what was it and what was your favourite thing about it? (pick a favourite if there are several)
I really really love(d) Aftermath I just love how you brought Andrea into the fold (and called out that stupid nickname they gave her in the show)
15. Do you leave comments on fandom works, and if so how would you describe your comment style?
I'm getting a lot better at it, just as I stopped reading so many fics. I like to pick out certain passages that really resonated with me or just thought were really well-written and tell the author why.
16. How many works in progress do you currently have? Will you finish them all?
I have about 15 WIP's that I really want to finish and a handful more that I'm more iffy on. The plan is to finish them all but if I'll ever actually do it... I hope so though.
17. what’s the longest it’s ever taken you to finish a fandom project?
I'm too embarrassed to look at the last time I updated rich girl. Years. Or Year. Anyway, too fucking long. But I'm just about done. Sorry. Life was kind of kicking my ass majorly for a while.
18. Describe the thing you made most recently in a way that is technically true, but also completely misleading. Link the thing if it’s published!
Define recently. All I See is You Lena's magic derails game night
19. Do you ever engage with fanworks for a fandom you’re not in? Which one(s) and how did you get into it?
I'm quite lucky to get a wide variety of fanart that crosses my dash so I'll engage to the point of gushing about it in the tags.
20. Recommend a fan work from your fandom to your followers
This very recent fic, To Want and to Have and to Hold that's caught my full attention by @eqt-95 Really can't say enough nice things about it and am eagerly awaiting an update
Suggested tag list, but there are no rules here, follow your heart.
I hate tagging people. i feel like I'm bothering them but I will poke @rustingcat since I always want to hear more about what they're working on
#ask game#So this didn't take me like two weeks to actually finish responding to#I am as prompt about tumblr asks as I am about my work email
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Xena Reactions S3Ep2.
Oh no, a Joxer episode... Please no...
Hellooo, Xena
OH IS THIS I'LL RISE BUT I REFUSE TO SHINE
YESSSS
HAHAHAAA, his eggs
"Nothing important"
Something about horseshoes
Please. Joxer...
OH SHIT- Blood???
Lol, burn Joxer sjfjsjf (Is this the timeloop episode btw, there's one of those, right?)
"There's no blame here" OUGHHHH
HUAAAAH, THE HUGGOO
OH. THEY SLEEP CUDDLING. LOOK AT THEM
THE GRNTLE HAIR STROKING???
Oh yea. There it is. Time is looping
"You should be dead!" sfhdhdh
Awwww, she's suddenly fond of him
She pushed him out the way.
Sus lady in the background
Pls. The timey wimey shenanigans ajdhd
"And they're making us up" 👀
BWAHAHA HE FAINTED and he's back
The simultaneous YES.
Urgh ffs.
"son of a Bacchae" sjfhdhd
Oof... War.
Xena is DONE with em
Joxer you fucking didn't have it under control
JOXER YOU WERE STABBED YESTERTODAY
NOOOO NOT ARGO. Hey I'll take dead Joxer over dead Argo ANY DAY
Noooooo :(((
Poor Xena
Wow hang on, are they giving Joxer character depth?? I still don't want him there shdhd
"Joxer, move"
"I am fine. The day is repeating itself." "I hate when that happens."
GABBY CHECKING IF SHE'S GOT A FEVER
"Lots of people bond over their hatred for me. You two for instance." 😂
Ohhhh, she saved the old guy
XENA DOESN'T WANNA HEAR HIM SINGING
"I that a hickey?" GABRIELLE'S FACE.
She knocks out both of them
"Not the alleeey..."
NOOOO, GABRIELLE! GABRIELLEEEEE
She's immediately checking. HER FACE. THE RELIEF, THE HUG
Joxer. NO.
HEHE, AS HE DESERVES
AHAHAHAHAHA SHE KILLS THE ROOSTER
"You'll explain, right?"
Joxer...
AHAHA
"Wow, she has really lost it" 😂
"Two great minds, one thought" "Only half a wit" dhfhfhd
DID SHE JUST MURDER JOXER SVDHDHDHDHD Fair
Gabrielle's distraught while Xena sleeps on
Heeeey, it's like the intro shot!
SHE TIED UP POOR GABRIELLE bet when she got the rope out Gabrielle thought it'd go differently
"Would help if I could read"
"So anyone drop dead lately?"
Her listening to stories 😂
"Yes both ways" 👀 Bisexual ass thing to say
Her going thru breaking up one conflict after the other
Ohhhh, so the stories were part of the plan
Yippieee, everyone is happy
"I bet this'll stop the day repeating" it won't
UH OH.
"Thanks, I just needed to say that out loud"
Oh god. They're trying to Romeo and Juliet... 😂
NOT CUPID SJDHDHSHF
Please.
I mean, Xena's gonna send Gabrielle and Joxer, isn't she
THEY'RE STILL SITTING THERE SHDHSHD
Xena. You have a girlfriend and a... Joxer who can help
"Go play with Joxer" Rude
"Sorry" shfhfvf
"GOOD GIRL"
Poor Gabrielle
Love how Xena has this elaborate plot instead of asking for help (Vastra as fuck)
JOXER NO.
Nooooooo...
Okay it's turnips
Them laughing at Joxer. So fair.
This is probably among the ones I liked best (at least among the ones that contain Joxer. He was bearable in this one.)
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based on the backstory and personalities of the Mikalesons, do you have any headcannons about Mikaelsons + religion?
oh HECKIE YEAH
i think it's honestly SUCH an interesting topic and concept seeing as how their all you know immortals n shit and magics real and etc etc. unlike say, btvs where Willow literally invokes Osiris, tvd doesn't really make any solid references or claims about the whole Deity Situation until apparently legacies but I haven't watched it yet and sounds Kinda Dumb so I'm ignoring that lol. But the rule of thumb with shows like these seems to be that once you say draculas and witches are Super Real then it's open season for Zeus enter stage right like it's an episode of Xena. Which when you look at the Mikaelsons....... Wild.
I think that Freya, Finn and Rebekah are the most unironically straight-forwardly religious and I think they've stuck to the norse/scandinavian beliefs they grew up with. Freya both because of the 1,000 years of Napping Nonsense but also because she's a witch and that's the school she was taught in so she's sticking with it. Finn for similar naptime reasons and also because he doesn't see a reason to change and didn't even when they were in France and hanging out with christians. For Rebekah it's like pure sentimentality. She likes a lot of the aesthetics of mainly catholicism (the swagiest of sects) but at the end of the day she's still out here making offerings to Freya (the goddess not the sister fdjkgdfsdfs) because she's a sappy little sentimental bitch and that's what brings her comfort. I don't think she's particularly religious which I think Freya and Finn are but she enjoys the celebrations and finds comfort in the actions/words/rituals/prayers/etc.
Kol and Elijah are more wiggly in their beliefs. Kol still calls back to his roots a LOT but he's also expanded out over the years since he's still a witch at heart and a curious cat. He's less interested in following any one religion and more in what resonates with him. So his believe system is very eclectic. What he believes in he believes in 10000% and is dead serious about. He's also experimented and educated himself about world religions the most out of all of them. Dude could probably teach a clss tbh.
Elijah is the one who's actually been the closest you can be to an atheist in a world like this. He's had periods of like, religious nihilism and periods were he's a little more hopeful about it. He's just spent so much of his life trying to be the Good Reliable Son and like Niklaus praying for divine intervention both with their father and with Niklaus only to get shit in return that it broke him and he just stopped and abandoned all religion/spirituality and focused only on the tangible. Hope's birth fucking shakes him to the core lol. Generally tho even after her he's still more in the like, "not my scene but i do love a good festivity" camp.
Niklaus is an evangelical's idea of an atheist where it's not "i don't believe in god" but instead "i feel god personally slighted me at my bday party so now i'll hurl rocks at him for the rest of my life out of pure spite". his sense of abandonment, unwantedness and paranoia doesn't stop at the threshold of religion. Ofc, he's old as dirt and literally has his own coven that bitches KEEP FORGETTING HE HAS so he's not in doubt that the divine exists. But Thor didn't protect him from his father's abuse so fuck that guy and jesus didn't fix SHIT for him so equally fuck him.
Wouldn't be shocked tho to see him "ironically" do rites/sacrifices to Odin via shit like the death of an enemy/creatively using old school practices for physical/psychological torture bc he's Like That. Does he also end up carving a mjolnir into Hope's crib and giving her a little one on a necklace? yes but this ain't about that hush.
Kol and Niklaus are also the most likely to have an affinity for gods like Loki and his children for reasons I feel are obvious lol. The holiday arguments this creates between them and Finn are unhinged.
#answered#tvd#mikaelsons#meta#klaus mikaelson#finn mikaelson#kol mikaelson#elijah mikaelson#rebekah mikaelson#freya mikaelson
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I've been trying for ages to figure out how to put something into words about The Youth In Fandom and I still don't think I've quite got it but I did reach an insight about it that I think is valuable enough that I'm gonna take a stab at writing it.
For starters, I want to make it clear, there is no "The Youth In Fandom Problem." Based on my efforts running the art sideblogs for danmei fandoms, I can say with a fair degree of confidence that a vast minority of people of all ages are antis, purity wankers, pro-censorship, ageist, etc. Even among people who mark their bios with their age, it's a shockingly low percentage of people under 18 who are being super weird about this stuff, and I think that's something a lot of older folks bemoaning The Younger Generation could stand to know and be reminded of. This isn't a majority, it's just a vocal minority, and tbh...that vocal minority has always been there, at least in my own fandom experiences.
That said, I've personally been the target of "y r u in fandom, old woman? Go take care of your kids!" bullshit, and yes it's definitely real and yes it definitely happens. (I am not old, I am not a woman, I was here before the people who said that to me were born, and I spend all the rest of my time taking care of my kids, so...).
All that introduction is to posit a theory:
The kinds of people who say "you should grow out of it, you're too old for fandom, etc." don't actually really...like what they like.
I know that sounds batshit. They're here blogging about it 24/7, of course they're obsessed! But I really genuinely find myself wondering...like...are they actually obsessed? Or are they just performing obsessed because that's what their peer group is doing? Are they just following along with their friends, mimicking their friends' enthusiasm, going with the flow because they're scared of what will happen if they say "actually I didn't think that show was very good"?
I ended up with this as a theory to posit because is to arrive at "you should grow out of it," you have to start with "I will grow out of it." And to get to "I will grow out of it," you have to start with "I may be into this now but I will definitely Change." And to get to "I will definitely Change," you have to start with the base assumption that loving certain types of media isn't just part of who you are, but rather a temporary persona you've assumed overlaying some deeper Self that will be revealed with time - or that's already been revealed and that you're deliberately masking for whatever reason.
Lemme put it less abstractly (but more longwindedly, lmao).
When I was 16, I was fucking terrified. There were all these things I loved - Star Trek, Hercules and Xena, Babylon 5, Slayers, Evangelion, Fushigi Yuugi, the Wheel of Time, many others - some I'd been into for years, some I'd only just discovered. And I looked at the adults in the world around me, who didn't sleep with stuffed toys, who got into long-term romantic and sexual relationships, who settled into careers that they stuck with for 20, 30, 40 years, who had heaps of responsibilities, and it was so frightening I literally had trouble sleeping at night. My senior year of high school, I trained myself to sleep with a pillow instead of a stuffie because "what would people in college think if they saw me snuggling a stuffed wolf?" That was something I was prepared to sacrifice to be An Adult (tm), something I was (irrationally) ashamed of, something that wasn't so much a part of my personhood that I couldn't give it up. When I left home to go to school at 17, I left my wolf at home. (I brought him with me a year later, and he's now on my bookshelf. Less disposable than 16-year-old me thought, as it turns out, but that's another story.) But there were things about myself I wasn't prepared to sacrifice to fit in during college. I still wore my Star Wars shirt. I still hung my anime posters. I still listened to J Pop. My roommate might judge me. My classmates might judge me. My professors might judge me. I didn't care. Loving those were part of who I was, and I wasn't prepared to give that up.
I found solace by looking at the adults in my life who hadn't had to give up their "childish fancies." I looked at my mother, who introduced me to Star Trek, and thought if she didn't have to stop loving Star Trek to be An Adult, then why should I? I looked at my grandfather, on whose bookshelves I first found the Lord of the Rings, and thought if he didn't have to give up LotR to be An Adult, then why should I? They might not wear fandom shirts, they might not go to conventions, they might not engage in the same way that I did, but they still loved these things, and it gave me hope.
When I was saw adults who still did fan things, who dressed how they wanted, who had cool hair styles or colors, who had tattoos, I thought "wow, what a cool person. I hope I get to grow up to be like them. I hope I'll be that comfortable in my own skin when I'm that age, because I'm sure not that comfortable in my own skin NOW."
I'll have to change in some ways - find A Career, figure out this "attraction" thing everyone keeps fucking talking about, buy a house, all the rest - but I'll be able to love the things I love.
I will still be "me" when I'm an adult, just Me-Plus-More.
I wanted to grow up to be that adult. I was prepared to take figurative arrows, to fight, to slog through, to retain the part of me that felt most valuable - my ability to love the things I loved without apologizing for it. And I knew I could do that, because I already had. Man, the shit people gave me in middle school for being an out-and-proud Trekkie? smh. It was baaaaad.
Time passes. Now I'm 40, and yes, I have changed. I've had more than one career. I got married. I figured out I never did have to figure out that "attraction" shit because I learned asexuality existed and. uh. Oh. I had children. I bought a house.
And I still have a bookcase of manga and I still have a Tumblr blog and I've found new fandoms - many, many new fandoms - nearly all for franchises that didn't even exist when I was 16 and so so scared that I used to literally break down and cry over the prospect of "having" to "give up childish things."
I got myself through on the belief that I'd still be me, and I was right. More than 20 years later, I AM still me.
And that's what leads me back to "why do The Youth think they'll age out of fandom?" And it leads me back to "I can only assume their fandom participation is mostly performative." Because look. This is who I was when I was 10 and read Lord of the Rings, and it was who I was when I was 12 and I started watching Star Trek when Voyager debuted, and it's who I was when I was 17 and I pulled an all-nighter to watch the second season of Fushigi Yuugi, and it's who I was when I was 21 and spent my birthday totally sober and gaming with my friends, and it's who I was at 26 when I got buried up to my eyeballs in Supernatural, and it's who I was at 37 when I watched The Untamed and knew as easy as breathing oh my god I've found the next obsession.
If it's an embraced, realized, adored part of your persona, there's absolutely no reason to think it's going to go away. And there's no reason nor need for it to. There are always gonna be people who judge others for having passions, and there are always gonna be people who embrace others for having passions, and you just gotta identify and avoid the former and find and adore the latter. If you're young, and you love fandom, and you're afraid you, too, will "have to" give up childish things...congratulations! You've got nothing to be afraid of! You never have to change that aspect of yourself!
But...I know these teens on Tumblr who are bullying others already know that because they can see us everywhere. And instead of going, as I did, "oh wow, those older people who still love the things they love are cool! how reassuring! I can be like them!" they think "EW OLD PERSON NOT ALLOWED THIS IS MY ROOM DO NOT ENTER."
And that's weird. When I try to think, "What kind of mentality would lead someone to feel that way, act that way, etc.?" I arrive at: being in fandom is something that they're embarrassed about. Something they're ashamed of, that they think is shameful. Something childish and therefore only for kids, even when the media they're a fan of is entirely made for and by adults. Something they think is made for them in that moment but that they'll be able to easily discard when they move on to more important parts of their lives. Something they know in their heart is transient. Something they're just doing because their friends are doing it.
That's when they'd think "why would an adult still do this?"
When it's something you "know" will be "just a phase," you don it like you don the identity of "high school student," something that'll get shucked a minute after graduation.
And while I found the idea of giving up fandom terrifying, I again can only assume that for these type of person, NOT giving up fandom becomes something terrifying. "Of course this is transient. Of course I'm going to change. I can't wait to change, I hate who I am now! Why did these so-called adults not change? Changing to not like this kind of thing is a sign of Maturity and Adulthood that I am eagerly waiting for, because I believe there's something wrong with being this way, and therefore I assume the adults I see doing this are immature, have something wrong with them, are childish, cannot be Doing Adulthood Right, because they didn't give up the thing."
"I know, in my heart, that I can't WAIT to change, so if they don't want to change, if they haven't changed, something must be wrong with them."
And don't get me wrong, I'm not saying this is the only reason. People are way too complex for there ever to be One Explanation Of All. I'm sure some of the teens who engage in ageist bullying just think they're ~cool~ and ~different~ and their name is Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way. Others are just uncomfortable with adults, with or without cause, and think "you don't belong in the same space as me." Some surely have drank the conservative kool-aid even as they've tried to change and are pantomiming the bullshit they were fed by those around them in new and unpleasant ways. Some think "this media was made for people like me and anyone who isn't like me can't possibly be engaging it in the Correct And Proper Way."
Some will grow out of it - out of fandom, or out of thinking that being an adult in fandom is wrong/bad/inappropriate/immature/whatever.
A few especially unpleasant ones...won't.
Unlike young!me, who looked at fannish grown ups and thought "wow, I could grow up to be like them, they're so cool!", you think "ew, I hope I don't grow up to be like them, they're so weird!"
And if that's you...why are you here?
If you don't actually like who are you when you're in fandom, that's okay. You don't have to stay. If you lose your friends because your interests change, then those friends stink and you didn't need them anyway; people who actually care about you will always keep by your side even if your interests and theirs diverge. But just cause YOU are performing your interest in fandom...doesn't mean the rest of us are. Some of us genuinely like it here. And you might think that's fucked up of us, but it's honestly none of your fucking business. You do what you gotta do to grow up, and leave the rest of us already-grown-ups alone.
And if you do genuinely love it and you're just scared because you think you'll have to change - that you'll reach some mystical age of majority and suddenly wake up a different person...you won't. For better and for worse, you'll still be you, so if there's things about yourself you don't like, it'd be better to start working on unpacking that psychological baggage now, because there's never gonna be a miracle point where you Feel Better And Like An Adult unless you put in the effort to change.
Teenagers...you will not grow up to be a new person. You will never give up who you are. You will grow up to be You-Plus-More.
And if that's something you hear and go "omg that's great news!" then I'm glad to be the one who told you. Take heart. There's hope. You can be you and that WILL be okay. You can face up to and grow from the things about yourself you don't like. You can learn more about yourself. You have time, and you will be able to improve yourself, to become more like the parts of yourself you like and less like the parts you hate.
And if that's something you hear and go "oh god no that's the worst" then you need to stare that reaction in the face and understand that the only way change is coming is if you make it happen for yourself. No one is strong-arming you into being a fan. If it's not for you...then stop. It's literally that easy. But don't take out your uncertainty and fear on other random people who are more comfortable with themselves than you are. Most of us are not here because of fear. We're here in the face of our fear, as a fuck you to our fear, because we also grew up being told we'd have to give up so-called childish things to be An Adult, and it turns out that was a pile of bullshit and we can have careers AND anime posters. And we can afford more anime posters, cause our parents are no longer telling us how to spend our money.
If your participation in fandom is primarily performative...just stop performing. Be yourself, and find your OWN passion, and stop shitting on the people who have managed to be more true to themselves and their own interests. You're not cool and edgy and different; you're just an asshole and a bully, and I pity you.
Anyway as you can tell from this rambly mess of a post, I haven't really gotten my finger on my point yet, but idk. I've been thinking about this and I think there's something there???
#unforth rambles#drama#hopefully now that I've written this I can finally get it out of my head#my posts like this pretty much always flop but that's okay#if it helped me think things out for myself#about why some people are Like That#then its job is done#anyway I wrote this post in between helping my daughter get dressed#and getting my son on the bus#and making tea#and straightening up the living room#and now i gotta start work in three minutes#the big difference between teen me and adult me is that now I have to fit the fanning into these miniscule windows of time#between all the More Important Things That Need Done#it's tiring but it's worth it
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Questions for Writers
Jeez, I forgot I left this in my drafts! Thanks for the tag, @calunalilly
1. How many works do you have on AO3?
31
2. What's your total AO3 word count?
My initial reaction to this question was, why are these fucking people asking me to do more math? Then I realized it's listed in the statistics tab on my dash. Which tells me 792,881 words. That seems low to me? (My writerly self-image is a verbose motherfucker.)
3. What fandoms do you write for?
Currently Last Tango in Halifax, Happy Valley, Collateral. In the past I wrote a lot of words about Xena, well, uber Xena.
4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
The Tristan Chord, the marriage plot, The Wandering Star, The Argentinian Maneuver, and The Wild Nothing.
5. Do you respond to comments?
Absolutely. If ever I miss a response, it's likely because I have my head up the ass of real life. So if you've commented and I've not responded, I apologize.
6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
I feel like they're all angsty? But I'd have to go way back to the Xena stuff for the truly angsty shit, probably Coup de Grace or Venezia.
7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
Maybe The Argentinian Maneuver or a good fixed star.
8. Do you get hate on fics?
Not really. I've gotten a couple passive-aggressive comments here and there, but overall I'd say our tiny corner of fandom is filled with folks who have excellent manners and are very supportive of their writers. ;)
9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
On occasion. You have to dig through a lot of adjectives and dubious metaphors, but it's there.
10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?
I guess Happy Valley/Collateral is crossover territory, no? Unfortunately it's not crazy.
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
Not that I'm aware of but if I find anyone who does, I will seriously go Catherine Cawood on your ass.
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
Yes, a series of old Uber Xena stories. Some brave soul translated them into French (!). I think there may have been one translated into Spanish as well. I have no idea if any of them are still available online.
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?
Cowrote a mad little uber-Xena tale eons ago with my dear beloved @thelnjames. Good times!
14. What’s your all time favorite ship?
Caroline/Gillian on LTiH, and the uber-Xena pairing of Mel/Janice.
15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?
I would like to finish Perihelion, the crazy western LTiH AU I started years ago. Might have to rewatch Deadwood for inspo.
16. What are your writing strengths?
Knowing when all the shit I threw in the kitchen sink is too much (i.e., editing).
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
I get too caught up in trying to write pretty and make everything a big old fucking metaphor.
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?
It gives me the shits. I tend to research a lot, so I would try to find a native speaker of said language to verify that what I've written is accurate.
19. First fandom you wrote for?
Xena.
20. Favorite fic you’ve written?
This is like asking a mother, who is your favorite child?
I'm tagging anyone who's interested in doing this!
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Fandom creators tag game
Thank you @waytooinvested and @fabulousglitch for the tag!
1. What sort of content do you create, and what is the thing you’ve made that you’re most proud of?
Proudest fic - There are a few I tend to choose from, but right now it's Even Though You're Kryptonian
Fanvid - My Rise vid
2. What fandom(s) do you create for?
Supercorp. (And a very tiny amount of Dansen and soon Rojarias.)
3. What is your current favourite ship (or brotp if you prefer), and how controversial is it?
Supercorp!! I don't think it's a controversial ship, lol.
4. For your answer to question 3, are they canon?
They are to me 😌
5. What was your first fandom, and how old were you?
My first obsession (and still greatest love) was Xena. I started watching the show a few episodes into season 1, when I was 6 years old. It was very formative.
That said, I didn't really get involved in any fandom communities until Supercorp (in early 2022).
6. What is your most unhinged fandom creation to date?
I don't think I get super unhinged, but as a pilot I did like creating this dumb incorrect quote.
7. Do you remember what started you off creating fandom content, and if so, what was it?
I was getting frustrated at not being able to find certain types of fics, and it struck me that... I was allowed to write my own.
8. Do you let people you know in real life see your fandom creations?
Yup! My partner read my first two fics in support, and several of my IRL friends have read at least one of my fics because I didn't have the good sense to keep that information to myself when I was getting started. It's mortifying lol. But my friends are very cool people.
9. How do you feel about fanworks of fanworks? Has anyone ever made something based on a thing you made?
Fanworks of fanworks are amazing!!! I've been incredibly lucky to have that happen three times (post), and gotten asked for permission for a different continuation and a podfic that may eventually happen.
10. What feeling do you most often try to evoke with your creations?
Angst. Longing. Bits of compassion too.
11. Has someone ever paid your work a compliment (in any form) that has stuck with you, and what was it?
I love each and every one of my commenters ❤️
Honestly, the compliments that stick with me most are "I came back to reread this" or "this idea is still living rent-free in my head" type comments. I think that's what all writers and artists want - to feel that their art lasted in someone's mind beyond the first time seeing it.
12. What’s your favourite thing someone else has made that you’ve seen in the last 24 hours (and link it if you can find it again!)
Technically it was more than 24hrs ago but this art by @awaitingrain is so fucking cute!!
13. Give a small sneak preview of something you’re working on right now (eg a couple of sentences of fic from a WIP, a gif set theme, a small piece of a larger picture, whatever you feel happy to share)
I have a ficlet (that's getting out of control), here's a snippet:
Lena was cozying into the warmth of Kara’s body, when Lena spoke. “I’m thinking of visiting my mother’s house soon,” she said shyly. “I want to find out more about her. Where I came from.”
“That sounds lovely,” Kara said softly.
“Do you want to come with me?” Lena asked.
Kara hesitated.
14. Have you ever seen/read anything made by the person who tagged you? If so, what was it and what was your favourite thing about it? (pick a favourite if there are several)
Both of them are on my reading list 👀
15. Do you leave comments on fandom works, and if so how would you describe your comment style?
Some of my comments are very simple, some of my comments are very long. I've tried to get more consistent about commenting ever since starting to write, because I know how important it is. Unfortunately, I also read a lot less now that I'm writing more.
16. How many works in progress do you currently have? Will you finish them all?
I have 5 WIPs! I'm very confident I'll finish them all.
17. what’s the longest it’s ever taken you to finish a fandom project?
I guess my worldkiller Kara fic took a bit over 3 months, though part of that was spacing with the Supercorp Big Bang.
I tend to write fast. One of the things I'm actually trying to do is slow down to fill out the story a bit more.
18. Describe the thing you made most recently in a way that is technically true, but also completely misleading. Link the thing if it’s published!
Lena has a bad day in the lab (Clockwork).
19. Do you ever engage with fanworks for a fandom you’re not in? Which one(s) and how did you get into it?
I totally engage in fanart from other fandoms that cross my dashboard, particularly korrasami. I don't tend to read fanfic of stuff I haven't engaged in, though.
20. Recommend a fan work from your fandom to your followers
This fanvid is probably my favorite in the entire fandom.
Suggested tag list, but there are no rules here, follow your heart.
A mutual you have never actually spoken to but think seems cool - oh there are so many of these!! I am tagging @mssirey who I don't think I've had a proper convo with yet
The most recent person whose content you engaged with (eg read a fic, reblogged art, whatever form you feel best fits) - @thealieninhiding (though by the time I finish this very long post it might be someone else lol)
Someone whose content you saw via tags/reblogs and you followed them because of it - @jadedloverart!
Someone in your fandom that you think makes cool things - @ekingston
Someone in a different fandom that you think makes cool things - tagging @thatonebirdwrites who makes korrasami stuff too
Someone you always tag on things like this - I'm not sure there's someone I always tag but I'll pick @nottawriter as one of the people I frequently tag when I do these things
Someone you have never tagged before - @rebellionbear have I tagged you before?? you are cool so I am tagging you!
Someone you would like to get to know better - @femslashhistorian
Someone who makes art you like - @awaitingrain along with others above!
Someone who writes fics you like - @luthordamnvers along with others above!
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Press Play Pt. 1
Roman Reigns x Black Female! OC! (Xena)
Rating: 18+
Warning: Smut, sex tape, leaking of relations, angst, breaking up with Roman, and a cliffhanger 🙂.
“Being the girlfriend to a famous divorced father of 5 wasn’t your plan at 26 years old. You trusted him with your life, so you agreed to film a little something, but now you regret ever meeting him when your whole life is exposed.”
A/N: The first part to my three part series, the next two parts will be out on the next two Sundays!! I’M SO EXCITED, I’m showing substance 😆!!
GIF: @jeysuso
“Turn on the camera baby.”
“Arch your back.” Roman gave a swat to Xena’s ass as she failed to arch her back.
“I can’t, it’s too much…” She begged for him to show mercy, but he still wasn’t satisfied.
As Roman’s iPhone recorded the whole thing.
Wanting to spice up the relationship, Roman asked if it’ll be okay to film some personal tapes. In order to suffice the physical intimacy when they were away from one another.
Little did she know…
“I’m not gonna say it again, arch that FUCKIN BACK NOW!!” Following his orders and wanting to cum again so badly after being denied, Xena let her back arch and stretched her arms forward.
“That’s it baby, now look at the camera while I fuck the shit out of you.” Xena’s eyes glossy as she stared up at the 6.7” screen showcasing the vision of her Samoan beast, body clad in sweat dripping from his head to his toes.
He slowly stretched her cunt out with deep strokes, taking the breath out of her as she looked at his eyes through the screen. Xena fell underneath his spell once again, her eyes rolling to the back of her head, her g-spot being hit instantly.
Once his assistant, now his girlfriend of 3 years. After a messy divorce with his wife, Xena soon came into his life and the rumors began.
“New Assistant?! More Like Old Affair.”
“Young Woman Nabs An Almost 40 Year Old Professional Wrestler, Roman Reigns.”
“Roman Reigns’ New Slut Gold Digging Girlfriend.”
They were harsh, but Xena was tough.
It had been almost 7 years since she watched WWE, and she remembered Roman during his Shield days and the roaring boos of the Big Dog. But, he did a complete 360. Bigger build, bigger personality, and a different outlook of his career in general.
Xena had no intention of even starting a relationship with him, but everything fell into place.
“Right there, please.”
“Please what mama?! Tell the camera what you want.”
“I want your cum to fill me to the brim.”
“Ya wanna have my baby you little slut?!”
“Yes daddy please.”
His pace quicken, his dick gliding in and out of her pussy smoothly. Xena’s ass galloping against his toned thighs. Roman’s thumb lodged into her winking hole, beating her cunt into a pulp. Her head bowed down into the sheets, writhing at the immense pleasure. Soon to be lifted up, staring directly at the camera.
“Take this dick and say ‘I’m a little slut.’ Go ahead. Straight into the camera.” Saliva decorating the entirety of Xena’s chin as she babbled. “What was that baby they can’t hear you?!”
“I’m SUCH A LITTLE SLUT!!”
“Good girl.”
“FUCKKKKK!! I’m gonna cum, keep fucking me please!!”
Roman’s thrusts hit harder and harder and harder, so hard the Xena was almost sent flying into the camera. Her pussy began to convulse as it was obliterated by a giant Samoan cock.
Xena’s arch reversed as she reached her high. “Fuckkkk..” A guttural grunt came from the mouth of the Samoan as he spilled his seed inside of pulsing cunt. He pulled out as Xena laid slump on the bed.
“That’s a wrap folks.” Roman ended the video. Roman’s choice of recording was clips on Instagram. How smart… As he went to turn off his phone and get a rag for Xena, his finger slipped and he pressed “Add to Story.”
He grabbed a rag and cleaned her up. Putting his phone in charge, it was now set to self destruct.
The Next Morning.
Xena woke up to the sound of her buzzing and vibrating phone. She sees 20 missed calls from her best friend. High on alert she called back. “Taylor what happened? Is everything okay?!”
“Your sex tape is ALL OVER THE INTERNET!!”
Chuckling, “What are you talking about Taylor?! Tell me you’re joking…”
“I’m serious and it’s trending number one on Twitter.”
Checking social media, her getting the shit fuck out of her was sprawled number one all over the internet.
All the breath was sucked out of her as she felt the urge to cry, but then a surge of pure anger came over her.
She turned to a peacefully sleeping Roman and repeatedly slapped him across the chest. Jumping up from his sleep, using his arms to bar the attacks. “What the fuck are you doing?!”
“I HATE YOU, WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?!”
“What are you talking about?!”
In a broken voice, “You released our tape last night?!”
“WHAT?!?!”
“IT’S ALL OVER… EVERYWHERE!!”
“I never released our tape.” Checking his phone, Roman realized what happened. He accidentally released their tape on his Instagram story. Even though it was 1 minute, that 1 minute went a long way through the internet.
“Baby it was an accident.”
“I can’t believe you did this to me, after everything the media already says about me?! You’d betray me like this…”
“Baby please my finger accidentally slipped last night when I was closing my phone. I promise on everything, it was a mistake.”
“You’re right. This whole thing was a mistake.”
Grabbing her belongings from the closet, she threw on her crocs and shorts, and stormed downstairs. “Baby stop.” Roman putting on his sweats while running down the stairs.
She placed her items in her car and slammed the door before Roman could reach her. He banged on the window begging for her forgiveness. Rolling down the window slightly, “We’re done.”
And with that she backed out of his driveway, with his mind spinning about when he would see her again.
He collapsed to the ground and cried.
“I’m sorry.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Will Xena hear him out or shut him out completely?! How will this breakup affect Roman’s career?!
Find out next week on “Press Play.” 😜.
THE END!!
That was a little rollercoaster, but I hoped you all enjoyed and I released this way too late, I’m so sorry ☹️.
MY TAG SQUAD: @cyberdejos2 @thesamoanqueen @cococodysleevelesshoodie @nayys-world @mzv11 @babybatlover @vogueyonce @harmshake @harlem11680 @seeingstarks @thewarlordsworld
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Tag Meme
tag whoever you want to get to know better!
Thank you for the tag, @bendingwind! Responding here instead because my anime-heavy answers felt more relevant to B3 than whipplefilter.
I will no-pressure tag @dreaming-about-seireitei (idk why it won't let me tag you?? so I hope you see this if you want to do it!), @the-sage-libriomancer, and @paniniwrap, because you are my most recently-followed blogs~ I will also tag anyone who sees this and wants to do it, because I can guarantee you I want to read your responses!
--
Three ships: Three ships I have written recently: Kira/Rose monsterfucking; Hinamori/Hitsugaya (rather, Kira developing minor negative feelings about Hitsugaya because IT’S A LOT, HINAMORI. Like I’m your bro, he assures her, but it’s a lot); Renji/Rukia, if only the dominoes would fall the right way, which at the moment they are not, for dumb work reasons and also their dumb coworkers.
First Ship: I dunno, Gabrielle/Xena?
Last song: I didn’t listen to any music today, so I guess by default… the 4th ED for Haikyuu?
Last Film: …Muppet Treasure Island, I think? Wow, I sure am getting an A+ in answering questions!
Currently Reading: In This World of Ultraviolet Light by Raul Palma, which is a collection of short stories that tend toward the skrunkly, the macabre, but are also just incredibly truthful. He gave a reading of “Stand Your Ground” last year, and it was so excellent I think it was THE best thing I read all year. It was the kind of story that makes you really want to write, because it’s so good and he’s so good.
Currently watching: We’re rewatching Haikyuu again, in a perpetual cycle of rewatching Haikyuu!! We just finished the Seijou/Karasuno rematch, which was an INCREDIBLY emotionally taxing experience, because I want Karasuno to win but I also want Oikawa to win, and the fine details of that match are overwhelming.
I was swapping anime recs with a friend on LJ the other day, and she was like, “Wow, we have such similar tastes! That’s so rare, as varied as anime can be.” And internally I was like, IT’S BECAUSE YOU ALREADY TOLD ME YOU HATED LONG SERIAL BATTLE SHOUNEN. ToT Nah. I mean, she did say that, but I was intentionally reccing her things I liked that I thought she would also like. XD It’s just that I thought she would like them for the fanservice and the angst, and I like them because of the like, folding tables. (I love you Seijou folding table and banner on the ground.)
I also have 20 minutes left of the series finale of Reservation Dogs, but I don’t want to say goodbye just yet.
Currently consuming: Faildinner, which is distinct from girldinner because it’s when you feel very smart about making dishes that do a good job of using up last week’s leftover ingredients, only to realize you’ve made a tomato-based potato/squash dish and a balsamic vinegar-based chicken dish, which is already ACID ON ACID until you realize you also made a shchi recipe that included SAUERKRAUT.
Currently craving: JUSTICE. Not to be overly dramatic. At work today an adult child said something innocently intended but honestly kind of fucked up and I am so mad about it. It’s not remotely his responsibility to know our ranks or employment histories, but he assumed my colleague was older and more experienced and that I was learning from her, because he could “see the similarities in our teaching style.” Which, I just wanna say, EXCUUUUUSE ME???? I actually have years more experience than her??? I don’t know how old she is but we’re functionally the same age. But she just came back from maternity leave, and those similarities in our style are because I DESIGNED. THAT COURSE. And I gave it to her and told her she was welcome to keep whatever and change whatever, because she just came back from maternity leave and she should get all the shortcuts she needs. But the course is similar to mine because I MADE IT. Like, what a bizarre set of assumptions to make. Again, doesn’t matter, it’s not his business, there’s no reason that’s information he should have or care about, but omg, definitely not over it. Thanks I hate it!! /end rant
#tag meme#for the record the recs i sent her way were for re-main with the description 'we watched this because we thought it would be very bad#but it's good actually. like it's bad but it's good. the major premise is an AMNESIA PLOT except it's also about water polo'#and 2.43 with the description 'we watched this for the fukui accents but it also boasts the most batshit sports-based childhood trauma#we have heretofore witnessed in the genre. also it was surprisingly decent'#and overtake! with 'we watched this because we thought it was going to be yuri on ice but very bad and it turned out to actually not be bad
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Its been a while, so here's the prologue to my fanfic once more.
My name is Marco. I could tell you my last name at this point, but why stop tradition? I didn't think there would be another story to tell, if I'm honest. But here we are, another saga from the Animorphs. Surprise!
The Yeerks are defeated, the last remaining ships scattered about are being hunted down as we speak. You'd think we could relax, right? Right? Nah, that'd be too easy.
So I guess… I should explain a few things. The Andalites upgraded the morphing time limit. Or perhaps the Ellimist did… either way, we were given the gift of it.
Tobias, you remember bird-boy right? Well he spends most of his time in his human morph. I mean, I don't exactly blame the guy, considering dating in the bird world is pretty dangerous. Plus, gag me with a spoon, he's dating Rachel.
Rachel is still her Xena: Warrior Princess self, not taking shit from anyone. She's a model now… big surprise right?
Jake and Cassie spend a lot of time together. they're pretty on and off again. I know they will eventually end up together permanently but they've got some shit to work out first.
Jake's too stuck in his own head, and Cassie tends a lot of animals now. Jake's the ambassador for Earth, the Andalites call him the 'Human Prince." so he can't exactly put anything behind him… and i know he's having a hard time.
Cassie works with some the Chee. they're very good at veterinary duties and all of them enjoy it. She usually lets them deal with the canines when she can. She's busy, but always has time for the old team.
As for Ax, being an Andalite Prince has it's ups and downs. His people are particularly pissed that he refuses to leave Earth. well. he's sorta got a reason. At least I hope my idea for the reason is correct.
And what about me? well. I live in the woods with Ax and Tobias now. In Ax's Scoop, actually. I could probably quote to you verbatim every single episode of The Young And The Restless with how often Ax watches the re-runs. It's peaceful for the most part, and enjoyable. Ax has been in human
morph a lot, so I'm teaching him how to blend in as a human. He's learning pretty damn fast.
You can imagine how hard it is to pretend to be normal after what we went through. It was literal hell. More hell than hell itself. So naturally we're all a bit fucked up now. just trying to thrive and avoid the press and finally deal with all the trauma we endured. In a way, I think that we wanted something new to happen.
Anyway… I've rambled on for long enough.
Step into my lair, said the dreth to the chorkant. See you on the other side…
-----
So the Prologue tells you nothing really. The fic is called Into the Lion's Den and it is an Animorphs/Voltron Legendary Defender crossover.
AU: Rachel is alive
Pairings: AxMarco, RachelTobias, JakeCassie, Klance, Hidge,
LMK if you want to see more.
@tobergrae
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