#houseguests
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baloo, literally 3x rogue's size: O!! You hath slain me!! -flops dramatically-
#welcome back baloo!!#ft tarot demandingly squeaking his toy at me in the bg#mine#rogue#going rogue#baloo#houseguests#tri#bernese mountain dog
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August 12, 1922
Home, Sweet Home by Harry J. Tuthill: "He Made the Proper Mistake This Time."
[ID: George Bungle sits in a striped armchair, half-awake, suffering "symptoms of a rough day at the office" as an arrow labels him. In the foreground, Jo talks to a longwinded house guest with her hair up in curls. /end]
Guest: Yes, my first husband's people had such swell notions. When company called, they'd dress up their odd jobs man in an old lodge uniform so he'd look like a butler. They said the Prince of Wales was a distant relative. And when he came over here, he certainly acted DISTANT, too.
[ID: George dozes off and begins snoring. /end]
Guest: They had four daughters. All pop-eyed. Their clothes always looked as though they were thrown on 'em. For ten years, the oldest one talked about marrying a nobby looking millionaire FOR LOVE. Finally, she was glad to get a husband who ran a mail order laundry... or something.
[ID: At the end of the guest's monologue, George blearily wakes up. /end]
Guest: Everybody said the boys took after their father. I'll say they did, too. I saw them take after him one Sunday morning for throwing flatirons back at the mother, and if he hadn't been a good runner, it would have been "Pop, GOODNIGHT!"
George: GOO'NIGHT! GOO'NIGHT! GOING SO SOON?
[ID: The guest, seething, puts her large feathered hat on in a mirror in the entryway. In another room, Jo happily grabs a half-asleep George by the collar. /end]
Jo: You old dear! I thought you were asleep. That was a splendid opportunity and I'm glad you were quick witted enough to take advantage of it.
#newspaper comics#1922#vintage#history#home sweet home#the bungle family#transcript available#1920s#long winded#boring#houseguests#long story
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The Visit. 8" x 10" https://www.etsy.com/listing/288927145
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The ragweed/hayfever season dreams continue:
Haruko (from flcl) and I (a sort of normal human) conspired to get superman drunk by spiking 100 proof tequila with kryptonite.
Also we were at my house from ten years ago.
It was one of the funniest dreams I've had lately because superman acted like your classic drunk heteronormative guy, telling us he loved us, weeping because his biological father was dead, and talking about how Lois Lane was going to be mad at him.
He was throwing up in the bathroom and Haruko turned to me and said:
"I think we bit off more than we can chew"
And she dipped out, leaving me to help drunk superman by myself even though it was her idea. And I couldn't leave because it was my house.
Anyway, I woke up and remained angry at both of those fictional characters until I finished my morning coffee.
#allergy season#superman#flcl#haruko haruhara#dreams#drunk people#houseguests#drunk house guests#kryptonite#tequila#coffee
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The misery of expecting company
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#aging#cleaning the house#company coming#friends#houseguests#humor#insecurities#Military life#self-image
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Why will my parents not take the hint and take their very loud snacks and audible phone game to the guest room so I can go to my bed. Rather than having to sit in the living room and listen to them.
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Matt And Austin - 99 - House Hunt 8 - 08-28-2001
💥https://mattandaustin.com/webcomic-the-matt-and-austin-comic-strip-099-house-hunt-8/👈
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All the tea in the world doesn’t mean a damn thing if you can’t figure out how to wash your sheets.
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Louie the pug is here too!
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You have people over when your house looks like THAT? The audacity! 😥😂
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some (not all) of the sprites from paradox space #50 "spritecon"
#homestuck#paradox space#sprite edit#kernelsprite#death ps#distinguished houseguest#snowman 08#pm#maplehoof#karkat vantas#dad egbert#andrew hussie#mom lalonde#colonel sassacre#post scratch john
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A prompt if this sings to you... established relationship mid-30s sidgeno taking in a rookie to live with them? Maybe a Russian? Maybe not! Maybe it's ABO and the baby alpha is overwhelmed by milfy Sid/baby omega is overwhelmed by dilfy Geno? Maybe not! IDK I just want to see an awkward 18 year old being completely rabbit in the headlights witnessing these two icons and heroes being dorky and frisky and middle-aged at home.
Ooooh I love this!
This isn't my best work, but I haven't written in ages and I'm rusty, so—you get what you get, haha. But this is such a fun concept and I had a lot of fun thinking about it!!! That's part of why it's so disjointed I think, I had so many ideas about how this could look and what it could involve and I wanted to cram everything in. Maybe I'll revisit this when I can actually properly use the English language again and clean it up!
--
Mack doesn't get a choice about where he lives his rookie year.
Not a lot of guys do, really—if they're bouncing between the A and the big club, they get real familiar with a few specific hotels, and if they make the show right away the team usually encourages them to look for something in a particular neighborhood—but Mack, after the excitement of the draft was over and the contract negotiations began in earnest, didn't even get that much leeway.
He's a first overall pick. He's an omega. He was drafted by the Pittsburgh Penguins. Of course he'll be living with Sidney Crosby and his mate.
Crosby—call me Sid he'd said, backstage after Mack stumbled his way onstage and held up his jersey and smiled so hard his face hurt—sends him and his parents an email in late summer, offering up a suite in his house in one of Pittsburgh's suburbs. He'll have a bedroom, a bathroom, and a living area to himself, along with a small fridge, and Sid says he'll help Mack get a car, too, if he doesn't already have one.
Mack's agent is copied on the email, along with four names from the Penguins organization that Mack doesn't recognize. It's not really an offer, after all.
Mack's parents are overjoyed. They're both betas, and when Mack presented his mom had practically lost her mind trying to figure out how to parent him appropriately, and they'd both been desperately worried about him living on his own. As if that had been an option; every interview at the combine included some discussion about where he'd stay, and it seemed like every team had a plan, no input from Mack required.
His dad's more focused on what he'll get out of living with Hall of Famers. "Watch how they spend their time off," he says to Mack as they're standing at Pittsburgh International. They'd all driven down in Mack's new car together, and spent the last two days getting him settled in and seeing the sights, and now his parents are flying back to Vancouver. "You're never going to have a better example than Malkin and Crosby. Pay attention to them, and you'll be fine."
Mack's not sure that this is quite what his parents had in mind.
Sid's amazing, of course. He knows what it's like to be an omega in the league—for all there are more now than when Sid was drafted, they're still an extreme minority, and going first overall, over all the alphas eligible, has only happened twice. Well, three times now. He walks Mack through the accommodations at the rink, connects him with the dynamics counselors and heat coordinators, and he spends a lot of time just listening to Mack, sharing his own experiences and talking him through his panic and nerves. Mack's lucky, and all the guys from BU are jealous as hell, constantly blowing up the GC with questions that Mack's not gonna answer in a million years.
Geno, though?
Mack's been around alphas his whole life. Sports at a higher level are riddled with them, obviously, and omegas aren't cloistered away anymore—he's not required to cross the street if he approaches an alpha, and North America has been totally integrated for decades.
There's getting in board battles with alphas his own age, though, or interacting with random people out in the world, and living with an alpha in his 30s, in the space he's marked as his.
Geno's not nervous around him. Which, obviously, why would he be, but Mack's used to the guys his age being a little on edge, a little anxious, a little fumbling in the presence of Mack's pheromones. Geno's a whole-ass adult, though, and he's been mated to Sid for as long as Mack can remember, so of course he wouldn't give a shit about some 18-year-old kid.
The whole house smells like Geno, a mix of coconut and snow and citrus. It's comforting; Mack's never slept so well in his life, and it just feels safe, knowing that there's an alpha around all the time. Sid's left his mark too, of course, but there's no escaping that an alpha lives in this house, an alpha who's strong, and confident, and sure of himself.
It takes Mack two whole weeks before he can talk to Geno without turning bright red and stuttering. He'd feel more embarrassed by his behavior, the way he reacts to Geno's scent, if he thought Geno noticed for one single second.
Because the thing is, what Sidney Crosby and Evgeni Malkin seem to spend most of their off-hours doing is...each other.
Mack's never walked in on them—they're too thoughtful, and he's seen the way Geno stares down other alphas who look a little too closely at Sid, he's not interested in anyone seeing Sid that way—but he can smell them, all over the house. Geno's got a hand on Sid constantly; at his waist as they move around each other in the kitchen, on his legs when they sit on the couch, cupping the bond-bite on Sid's neck when they think they're alone. He smells like he wants Sid all the time.
And Sid absolutely reciprocates.
Mack can't blame him. If he had an alpha like that— He doesn't let himself go too far down that path, because he has to live with them, and he's too young anyway, he wants to focus on his career for a while, but there's something about how happy Sid looks, the way he teases Geno until they're both pink and smiling, the way he gets this look in his eye when he watches Geno putter around in the kitchen, that makes something in Mack's gut twinge with longing. He wants this, someday—a mate, a home, someone who makes him that happy.
He just wishes they'd do a bit more to hide when they're going off to fuck, though. Mack's cycle is still irregular, and being this close to a mated pair who are having sex practically every night—Mack is shocked they can still do it that much at their age—is gonna push him into early heat one of these days, and then he'll have to ask for a ride to the facilities, and Geno will know, Geno will smell it on him, and they'll both be so nice and understanding and go out of their way to assure him it's normal and make sure he has what he needs, and it will just be the worst, most mortifying thing that's ever happened to him.
Anyway, yeah. Mack's pretty sure his dad had something else in mind, when he was talking about what Mack could pick up from living with Crosby and Malkin.
It's going to be a long year.
#sidgeno#hockey rpf#a/b/o#my fic#my writing#macklin celebrini YOU are a pittsburgh penguin#rookie houseguest
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I had some foster puppies crash for the weekend, Colbie and Conrad
#they were riddled with ticks and were severely anaemic#so they came home with me to make sure they didnt die#and then went to a new carer once they were well enough#they were polite houseguests#colbie#conrad#fosters
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Odysseus: Through the years we seldom get a warm welcome
Odysseus previously: *waltzes into Polyphemus’s cave, kills his favorite sheep, blinds him, steals the rest of his sheep, escapes through his father Poseidon’s domain, doesn’t apologize for previous actions, & unleashes a fuck ton of wind in his face*
Circe: I wonder why
#maybe everyone would stop trying to kill you if you weren’t such a shitty houseguest Ody#kidding#IK there’s more to each situation it’s just funny#Odysseus’s fatal flaw isn’t hubris it’s the way he violates the laws of hospitality everywhere he horse#epic the musical#circe saga#done for#odysseus#circe#the odyssey
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