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atopvisenyashill · 4 months

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Thoughts on the Alysanne is Maegor's daughter AU? I feel like it has some interesting potential, and it vastly recontextualizes different parts of Jaehaehae (I do not like him sjsjsjs) and Alysanne's relationship (such as Jaehaehae's treatment of their daughters) but I wanna hear what you think about it!

I’ve touched on this a bit before but since you actually want to hear my thoughts, allow me to present to you my Jaehaerys Is The Goddamn Worst, And Alysanne Annoys Me Too: An Essay lmao but my answer is basically “yeah all of what you just said.”

I think it makes Alysanne much more palatable (to me) as a character because as she stands, she just fixates on forcing her daughters through these fucked up marriages at too young an age bc it traumatized her to be married and pregnant at 15 too but she’d never admit that being a willing participant in her own kidnapping by her brother-husband was the single worst thing that ever happened to her, and because Alysanne doesn’t want to admit it (and Jaehaerys would never see it as wrong or a mistake) F&B really shies away from delving into the fact that Alysanne is as deranged of a mother as Cersei is. So as she stands, she’s very flat to me because she’s presented very flatly and inconsistently. She’s so in love with Jaehaerys, she’s maritally raped by Jaehaerys, she’s a loving and doting mother, she forces her daughters into marriages when they’re the same too young age she was, she accuses her teenage girls of being scheming whores then gets angry when her husband accuses their teenage girls of being scheming whores, and worst of all we are just told “Maegelle tells them to make up so they do” so we don’t know why Alysanne gets over all of this. What is the point of riding a dragon when you never use that dragon to protect your daughters from unwanted teen marriages? We’re just not given a good enough justification for why her behavior is so weird and frustrating towards her daughters.

Make her Maegor’s daughter though…most of her behavior as an adult makes more sense. Like a worse version of Rhaenyra’s childhood almost - a father desperate for a son, but lowkey obsessed with his daughter, who makes all his hang ups about his parents the problems of every woman around him, except Maegor is out here blood sacrificing and torturing and starting wars and forcing babies on wives he discards quickly and brutally. Then here comes Jaehaerys on a white horse green dragon to save her from the horror her life has become, and he loves her so much he runs away with her even though Alyssa says they shouldn’t marry because people won’t like it. And they have beautiful children, and a beautiful marriage, and build a beautiful kingdom.

Then her pregnancies start getting dangerous. Gaemon, then Valerion, die. Alysanne thinks of the shriveled up mutants she called brothers, if Maegor’s taint has passed to her. Her perfect husband ignores her no, and forces Gael on her. Alysanne remembers that he said nothing to Rogar when Alyssa died, merely wept. Then her daughters start to die. Daella, Alyssa, Viserra, all within a few years. Then Jaehaerys makes Saera watch as he murders her boyfriend, calls her a whore, and says Alysanne cannot follow Saera to Lys. Alysanne thinks of Maegor torturing the Harroways over Alys’ presumed infidelity. Jaehaerys says he’s sorry, and her daughter badgers her into forgiving him, and she remembers how she helped Jaehaerys badger Alyssa into forgiving Rogar. Not two years later, Jaehaerys passes over Rhaenys. Alysanne thinks of how she was never enough for her father, how she felt so superior to Rhaena banished to Dragonstone and resented by Aerea, yet there she is dragging Gael away from court because she can’t stand to be with Jaehaerys. How her father was surrounded by dead women and dead babies and how Jaehaerys is surrounded by his own dead daughters, but surely she did the right thing, surely Maegor was worse, surely the realm is better off? Is he right to pass over Rhaenys? Is she enabling a man just as monstrous as her father? She will never decide, because Maegelle will guilt her about keeping Gael isolated at Dragonstone, and Alysanne will do as she’s told, just like Rhaena, and Alyssa, and Jeyne, Elinor, Ceryse, Alys, and Tyanna, just like every one of her daughters.

I do get why Alysanne is Alyssa & Aenys’ and not Maegor’s. The weird Targ babies, the line not descending from Visenya, Jaehaerys and Alysanne being held up as the perfect Targaryen couple specifically because they are brother and sister and dragon riders. I do even think canon Alysanne is likely traumatized by her time as a hostage on Dragonstone, and the ensuing war, and the trauma bond that caused with Jaehaerys, and it makes her idolize Jaehaerys, and then he isolates her at Dragonstone so he can swiftly and safely marry, groom, and knock her up. It’s not like,,,, a fun time, and it’s enough to make anyone crazy and weird about their daughters, but I think having her father be Maegor makes Alysanne herself much deeper because it gives her, as the most beloved Targaryen queen, a blood tie to the most hated Targaryen king, and a marriage to the most beloved Targaryen king. It fits better with a lot of the themes of the main series (again, imo) - forcing the spotlight on the outsiders to see how the affect the story from behind the scenes. The fall of Aegon’s sons, and The Long Reign, not told from the PoV or to serve the PoV of any of the kings or princes, but of the queen that tied them all together.

#anti jaehaerys i targaryen #f&b critical #fire and blood critical #asks #thesadboy #like he kind of does this with aenys & maegor by focusing on alyssa and rhaena and the wives and visenya.#but the Moment jaehaerys enters the scene he completely dominates it. the same way daemon and aemond do actually.#but this is not. it should not!! be their story. that’s not how the main series is told anyway!!#if f&b isn’t told by a dornish maester than it should have been written by a septa!!!#nuns wrote books!!!!!#rich noblewomen wrote novels and poetry!!!!!!!#GEORGE DO YOU READ WOMEN. I AM NO LONGER ASKING POLITELY.#i went to look for her mother and apparently this was just a mistake elio made and i’m even more depressed. i can’t believe i’m saying this #but elio damn your mind.#i bet he saw that and went ‘wait which one is her fucjing mother’ and george was like what in the goddamn hell are you talking about.#idk who would be her mother in this au. if we want to keep her within 3 ish years of jaehaerys it Has to be alys or ceryse. ceryse hightowe #is the hilarious and obvious choice. but don’t count out alys harroway second wife here either.#then there’s rhaena as her mother which with the canon timeline makes him 12 years older and isn’t THAT horrible let’s stop here actually.

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fromtheseventhhell · 6 months

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What's crazy is that Barristan has the character development that people pretend Jaime has but because he supports Dany and doesn't spend all of his page time talking/thinking about how evil Targaryens are, it gets ignored

#daenerys targaryen #barristan selmy #how do you get outsold by a side character who doesn't even have a POV in the first few books? 🤨#embarrassing tbh but then that's Jaime in a nutshell so it fits #if he was written the /exact/ same way but supported Stannis?? people would be writing essays on how brilliant his character is #instead he doesn't tell Dany how horrible Rhaegar is every 2 seconds so people have decided that he's just a delusional old man #one of the characters with the most experience regarding rulers and he gets ignored cause people disagree with him sdjsfksdkds #barristan: goes to Dany in disguise so that he can judge her character cause he wants to redeem himself and serve a worthy ruler #+ is the one to tell her about her father's madness fandom: he refuses to acknowledge any of his mistakes or have honest convos with Dany 😔#I just have to laugh cause literally the only reason is that he validates Dany's ruling arc and people can't stand it 😭

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dateamonster · 4 months

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i finished american psycho and i really liked it particularly like the final quarter of the book which is wild because its like. patrick is coming to the realization that he is a fundamentally empty person living a fundamentally empty life and he is so existentially tormented by this luxury hell hes made for himself that he tortures and murders countless women because he is desperate to inflict even a fraction of that agony on another person, to distract himself for a single moment from this maddening void he is trapped in, and even as he finally acknowledges this he knows he will never stop because there is no longer enough of a human presence, a soul even, within this dull shell of tanned, toned flesh and designer clothes to wrest back the control he needs to stop himself, not enough to even really want to stop, to feel anything but the occasional spasm of disgust and directionless rage.

and so you have to imagine me sitting there just sort of spectating all this going like yippee :) just like. movie.

#american psycho #ungodly screeching #spoilers #i guess!#its a rly good rly horrible rly well written rly Difficult To Read book

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samglyph · 5 months

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If you’re a a film/book/art reviewer and all of your reviews are negative I don’t respect your opinion. Right off the bat you either don’t love the medium or you’re not making it clear what you actually like, so why would I trust your opinion about what not to enjoy?

#this is the second time I’ve made this post basically but I mean it #this is about booktubers mainly but it can be applied generally #the amount of click bait ‘THIS BOOK SHOULD NEVER HAVE BEEN WRITTEN’ ‘THIS BOOK IS HORRIBLE’ ‘EVEYRONE WHO ENJOYS THIS IS CRAZY’#titles I’ve seen is just. geez. but like have you read a book that you like in the last year? and the answer is seemingly no #I don’t watch these. btw #but because I watch like ‘top book’ videos to find recs they show up #text

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thenon-fictiondays · 1 year

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Hirano to Kagiura light novel translation 2-4

Chapter 2: Summer preparations.

Part 4

Prev || Next

Basketball club practice is held inside the gym for the most part, but they use the outdoor space for warm-up runs.

They can hear the wind instruments club tuning and practicing marches, and it feels like they have their own personal pep band.

Although they keep hydrated, warm sweat flows freely.

While squinting against the blazing sunlight, Kagiura thinks of Hirano’s bright blonde hair.

Dyed blonde despite his position in the student council, Hirano’s hair is unfortunately quite damaged. It suits him so well, though.

And the small earrings that normally adorn his earlobes are as of yet still missing in action.

Although it’s already been a week, Hirano seems unconcerned; as such, Kagiura is the more worried of the two.

If the piercings are healthy, they won’t easily close up, but they’re still technically wounds, so they’ll undoubtedly shrink if left unattended.

Hirano had told him they’re his first piercings, so Kagiura had asked “shouldn’t you hurry up and put something in them?”, to which Hirano had replied, “If I took them out at the same time, I should find them sooner or later”, and seemed content to leave well enough alone.

While he took shelter in the gym, mopping his sweaty face with the towel hanging around his neck, Kagiura thought about what color earrings would look good on Hirano.

His image of Hirano’s personal clothing is vague, since he only sees him in loungewear.

He would be able to see them on the weekend, but Kagiura’s days off are dedicated to club activities, so his chances to see him are few and far between.

At school, when he’s wearing his uniform, most of the time they don’t end up running into each other. In the mornings, Hirano wakes up first and even wakes Kagiura up, but even Hirano wouldn’t wear his uniform that early in the morning.

He returns to the dorm earlier than Kagiura, and by the time Kagiura gets home, he has long since changed into loungewear.

That’s why going the traditional route of choosing ones that will easily coordinate with his usual clothing is easier said than done.

Besides, we don’t have any free time before summer vacation to go buy some together.

So what is he supposed to do?

Kagiura tried to figure out where to go from there, but before long, the rest of the club members finished their run and foundational practice began.

If your head is in the clouds, it won’t be long before you get injured.

He had taken that concept to heart, so it only took a moment for him to switch gears and focus on practice.

It’s strange; when he gets in the zone, he doesn’t even care about getting sweaty. He can’t even tell if the wind instrument club’s performance is still audible from outside, through the gym doors that are closed to conserve their pathetically weak air conditioning.

The application review for the plan selection qualifiers went by without a hitch, and they passed through the second round of judging immediately afterwards with flying colors.

Niibashi is doing just as well as anticipated—in fact, he is going above and beyond. The presentation he gives with a smile brimming with confidence is overwhelmingly effective, and his preparation is immaculate.

They deliberately address the open question of food safety measures, and are now at the stage where they’ll probably be able to get a space in the courtyard or somewhere else that can accommodate their customers.

They were able to get through the research in just a few days thanks to their 2nd and 3rd year acquaintances, so they’re grateful.

Normally, upperclassmen make good use of their past experiences and prepare for the cultural festival ahead of time. That’s why it’s difficult for ill-prepared first years to win real estate in the courtyard, or so they’re told, but they faced their audition with such flawlessness that it was hard to believe they had completed it in such a rush.

Niibashi is excessively skilled at networking, so their stock of materials piles up with the help of other classes, and just like that Kagiura and the other two assistants take a back seat.

In contrast to the energy of the executive committees from the other classes with passionate appeals, the student council, who are in charge of the judging, are, to put it nicely, relaxed.

To put it not so nicely, their reactions are deadpanned, by which Kagiura was caught off guard.

One would think that the student council at a school where independence is so highly valued would be filled with the type of people who like planning things, but the student council president, Touou, seems to be the high-strung type.

As expected from someone who serves as the student council president as a second year, he’s used to directing others, and he even has a certain dignity about him as he subjects each proposal to a barrage of questions from on high, yet he doesn’t seem to enjoy doing so.

There was one other thing that was unexpected.

Which is that, the sometimes excessive amounts of nitpicking by the latter notwithstanding, Niibashi is actively involved with Touou.

I wonder if they’re good friends? Kagiura wonders, but he wouldn’t want to put a damper on them when they seemed to be enjoying themselves, so he bites his tongue.

*****

It isn’t long before summer vacation, so there were only morning classes today.

The gym is undergoing inspections and can’t be used, and the advisors are absent for training, so the coaches are also taking the day off, which means the basketball club isn’t meeting today.

That’s just fine by them, as it gives the first year club members the chance to go to a sports shop to purchase new shoes, which Kagiura, as a veteran, is happy to give recommendations for.

This shop is familiar with their school placing orders for uniforms, and they’re glad that the proprietor memorizes their faces and supports them even though they’re still just first years. Apparently he’s even come to see their practice matches.

His heart bounces on his way home, thinking he’ll ask Hirano about it too.

Despite eating lunch and going shopping, he still gets back much earlier than usual, and it’s not yet 3 o’clock. Even if he does his homework, time is just crawling by today.

“I’m home!”

There’s no response to his statement as he swings the door open.

“Huh…?”

Inside, Hirano’s bag is missing, as if he hasn’t come home yet.

Maybe he’s at a committee meeting, he thinks while he spreads a sheet out on the floor and begins tending to his club equipment.

After more or less cleaning up, he starts on his homework, imitating the self-study techniques Hirano had taught him.

If he could see this, would he be surprised?

But, contrary to his expectations, even when dusk falls there’s no sign of Hirano coming back.

Starting to get antsy, he opens the door to their room open halfway, but Hanzawa comes by and shuts it, saying “if you leave the door hanging open, it’ll be in the way!”

He’s on the same committee, which means it’s not a late-running meeting that’s holding Hirano up.

“Hanzawa-san, Hirano-san isn’t back yet—did he tell you he had something to take care of, or something?”

“Hm. I have no idea. Well, you’re not a child, so you’ll be fine. That aside, aren’t you going to go for dinner? I’m heading there now.”

Just as he’s said, dinnertime has indeed started. Although there’s a large window when you can go, you can never be too early if you don’t want to impact your bathing time.

“.....I’m coming.”

I really, really hope nothing’s wrong.

Slightly troubled, Kagiura follows behind Hanzawa.

Apparently, Hirano returned to the dorms just before dinnertime ended.

He went straight to the dining hall without even dropping off his bag, and didn’t come back to the room until after the first years’ bath time had started.

They kept just missing each other, and could say no more than passing greetings, but Hirano seemed to be in a bit of a bad mood.

He has always been the kind of person to speak brusquely, but it is rare for him to be so blatantly terse. I want to ask him about it, but would that be okay? What if it’s something serious that he can’t talk to me about?

He has a completely different set of problems from his comrade, because the depth of their lives are different by one year, a difference he can sense each and every day.

If Hirano has a problem he can’t resolve, there’s probably nothing Kagiura can do to help. If he asks him if anything happened, it might just make him even more upset.

But—he can’t just do nothing. That is the conclusion Kagiura came to.

While wondering how best to broach the subject, Kagiura leaves the bath, and hurries back to the room.

When he knocks lightly on the door and says “I’m back from the baths,” Hirano replies “yeah, welcome back,” in a lower tone than usual.

Hirano sits at his desk, the look in his eyes predictably sharp.

“What happened today?” Kagiura asks, although for a moment he almost folds under the pressure of that gaze.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You came home late today, Hirano-san. And it doesn’t seem like it was because of a committee meeting.”

“Oh…sorry. Did I worry you?”

“Yes. I was really worried.”

That’s right, he’s worried. He only realized it when Hirano said it.

The feeling of uneasiness that had been plaguing him all afternoon was an awful lot like the loneliness of being left home alone as a child.

Like the feelings he’d had when it seemed like he’d be swallowed up by the swirling anxiety at the thought that something must be something wrong with his parents, or something terrible had happened to his siblings, for them to not come home like this.

“I see. …..It’s not exactly a cheery story, though.”

“That’s okay.”

“There was a fight—or rather an incident of violence—at the school today. It was one-sided; the guys were playing dirty.”

A kouhai from the committee tried to get them to stop, but Hirano’s friend held him back, stepping in in his place, and sustained injuries.

Apparently the reason Hirano had been late is that after asking about the incident from his friend in the committee room, and then hearing what the first year victim and his kouhai had to say about it, he’d been discussing it with the committee advisor.

Hanzawa hadn’t known about it because the advisor had stopped Hirano from calling him back from the dorm even though he was the vice chairman.

“Do you not know who did it? I’m sure they’d be suspended or something…”

“The guy who stepped in to stop it isn’t that great at fighting, so the culprits were able to get away. He knew that they’re first years, but it’ll be summer break soon, so I don’t really know what’ll happen. …He won’t even tell me all the details, either. He probably thinks it’d be lame to snitch or something.”

The longer he talks, the more it seems like he’s just going off on his friend. But rather than being angry at him, it seems more like there’s something else spurring him on. Regret, perhaps, or frustration.

Imagining the pain of someone he’s supposed to be close with refusing to talk to him, Kagiura gently reaches out his hand.

He strokes that beautiful blonde hair.

Although their usual roles are reversed, this is essentially what Hirano always does for him.

Listening to him talk, comforting him, encouraging him. Hirano does it more skillfully, but for Kagiura as he is now, he doesn’t have the words to nurse his indignation.

As he smoothes down his hair, Hirano’s eyes go wide.

“.....What.”

“I thought if I did this maybe you’d calm down.”

“.....”

Letting out a small huff, Hirano murmurs, “you’re right.” The tension slowly drains from his face..

He makes such soft expressions.

Now it’s Kagiura’s turn to be surprised. Hirano’s just like a cat that’s warmed up to him.

“Hey. How long do you plan on rubbing my head?”

No sooner had he spoken than Kagiura pulled his hand back, but even after Hirano leaves for the baths, Kagiura flops onto his bed and ponders how comfortable it felt to stroke that blonde hair.

Twenty minutes later, Hirano returns from the bath, having washed away his sweat and his air of gloom.

Having sat at his desk and pulled out a map of the school, he says, “I’ll do what I can to get this taken care of before summer break,” his usual vigor restored. He’s not sulking at all. He’s back to his normal self.

When Kagiura asks about it upon his return from the bath, Hirano tells him that after discussing with Hanzawa, they’d decided on a plan of action moving forward. It seems the best thing to do is to check out the vicinity the perpetrators had been walking in, and ask the clubs and groups that use that area at the time of the incident for eyewitness statements to try to deduce the culprits.

Putting out a notice aimed at students in clubs seemed unlikely to succeed, but the thought was that if anyone had been acting strangely after the fight, someone might’ve noticed.

After that, with not only Hanzawa but the collective force of the whole disciplinary committee to gather intel and the support of the faculty advisor, they were able to suss out the culprits before summer break.

The school decided to take disciplinary action against them, due to their maliciousness and the fact that there was a second assault.

Just as Hirano had declared, it was just in time for summer break.

Upon returning to his room after chatting with the club senpai who were also dorm students, Kagiura finds that Hirano had already finished getting ready for bed and turned off his desk lamp. It is unusual for him to try to go to sleep early without studying or reading.

Kagiura follows his lead and softly crawls into bed.

Normal classes end tomorrow. The day after that is the closing ceremony.

The basketball club has practice for the weekend practice matches, so Kagiura won’t have the chance to see Hirano, who’s going home immediately, until the new semester.

As his awareness of this fact sinks in, so does his loneliness.

He didn’t sign up for the mock exam, but his week is full of morning make-up classes, so there’s just no way to swing it.

I never thought I’d come to feel like this.

He’s become fond of that flashy personality that caught him off guard at first.

But that was really just the beginning. Things like moving his slippers out of the way for him, eating the peppers off his plate—he was touched by the kindness Hirano had shown him throughout those days.

Being with his side, more than he would’ve expected from living with someone who isn’t family, is comfortable.

“Hey, Hirano-san.”

“Hm?”

“You’re going home the day after the closing ceremony, huh?”

“Yeah, that’s the plan. You’re staying until next week, right? Practice matches and whatnot.”

“Yep. Besides, I also have supplementary lessons this week.”

“You’re actually gonna go? Good for you.”

To tell the truth, he’s actually a little unsure about that.

His grades aren’t exactly something to write home about, but he’d made a rebound at the end of the term, and managed not to get such crappy scores that he’d be forced to take the supplementary lessons.

If he can go, he probably should, but due to club activities he might be exempted.

After checking the prerequisites, he’d declared his plans to attend, because he foresaw putting it off until the end due to a combination of his own personality and being lulled into a false sense of security by the words “you don’t have to attend if you don’t want to”.

Up to now, he’s accepted his senpai’s help, and so far hasn’t let him down…within reason.

“Because it looks like they’ll even be able to teach me how to do the homework we got assigned for summer break. You’ve never been called to attend, have you?”

“Nope, because I take school seriously.”

“Speak for yourself…”

“Haha. You take it seriously too, I bet, and you’ll keep it up in the second semester.”

“Right. …..Um, Hirano-san.”

It’s not as if he’s about to say something weird, but his heart thuds against his chest, and for no real reason, his fists clench atop the bed.

“Hirano-san, do you have any plans for summer break yet? Like around the end of July, or the beginning of August.”

His voice is hesitant, as if he’d confessed to doing something bad.

“Nothing set in stone. Why?”

“What do you think about coming with me to the countryside?”

“Hm? You mean…me tagging along when you go visit your family?”

His questioning reply is slow and tinged with sleepiness.

He hasn’t said no yet, so Kagiura remains hopeful.

“Yeah.”

“.....Your place isn’t really that far in the countryside, is it?”

Hirano’s and Kagiura’s homes are in the same prefecture, and furthermore, they’re right above a transit station. Ignoring the distance between the station and their houses, their respective stations are a 30 minute ride from each other. They’re both familiar with the area.

“Not there, to my grandparents’ house…is that not gonna work out? It’s a huge house and there’s a ton of rooms, so it won’t be cramped, and every year my relatives end up bringing other people anyway, so you wouldn’t be out of place or anything.”

The words had spilled out of his mouth unchecked, but what he said is true. His cousins in university bring along their circle of friends, and more distant relatives with small children come to stay with someone who has a close connection with the main family, so during summer break his grandfather’s house hosts a wide variety of guests.

“.....What days are you going, Kagi-kun?”

“I’m taking the night bus on the 30th, arriving on the 31st, then I’m thinking I’ll stay two or three days and take the night bus back home.”

Up until last year, he’s come with his immediate family, so they’ve usually stayed a bit longer. But for Hirano to come along, he figures this span of time is an easier ask.

He doesn’t want to push back the dates if it can be helped.

There’s a reason it must be this timing.

If Hirano has a prior commitment with this timing in mind, Kagiura will have to give up, but—

“If your relatives give permission, it’s fine by me. I don’t have summer classes around then.”

At the readily given agreement, Kagiura quickly sits up. His phone is charging on his desk.

“Hey, you’re not trying to call them right now, are you?”

“Whaaat, I can’t?”

“You definitely can’t. Do it tomorrow. Look at the clock; it’s almost time for lights out. We’re not allowed to use phones or other devices now.”

Because Hirano himself doesn’t usually follow this policy to the letter, Kagiura immediately understands that cutting off their device time is for Kagiura’s sake.

That sort of thing is what makes him such a good person.

“Fiiine. …Good night, Hirano-san.”

“Yeah. ‘Night, Kagi-kun.”

With the click of the switch being flipped, all the lights shut off.

As the room falls to darkness, the waves of unbelievable nervousness and elation begin to ebb, and before long Kagiura falls asleep.

*****

On the first night of summer vacation, for the first time since he’d started school, Kagiura greeted the night alone.

The two-person room is spacious for one person by himself.

Thanks to the departed Hirano, who’d cleaned thoroughly while Kagiura was at school, even the air in the room had seemed different when he opened the door.

In fact, just by Hirano, who is always there before him, being gone, it feels like everything from the atmosphere to the scent of the room has changed.

Homes are living things, so without people living there they fall apart, or so Kagiura has heard.

He is also hoping that with the number of guests increasing during summer break, that countryside house with many extra rooms will become lively, just as his grandfather said.

Up until now, he hadn’t had words to put to the feeling, but now it feels like he understands what it means to start your own family after leaving your parents’ home.

It just doesn’t feel right if someone isn’t here.

And being with someone is better than being alone.

*****

After talking to his parents and grandfather, Kagiura was given permission to bring his senpai from school home without any issues.

He has yet to tell Hirano anything more than that, but it seems like today they’ll have the opportunity to talk about it.

That night, during the time when phone calls are allowed in the dorm, Kagiura tries bringing up the topic while talking with Hirano.

“By the way, Hirano-san. My relatives said that since you’re my dorm roommate and I’ve probably gotten used to you, it’d be fine for you to stay a week or even two.”

“That’s way too long. And what does ‘used to me’ even mean?”

“I don’t know, either. …..As a matter of fact, we do have guests that stay around a week.”

“I’m grateful to your relatives, but that’s a long time.”

Hirano’s voice as he stifles a laugh is lower over the phone than his natural voice. The husky sound jumps a bit; it’s the first time Kagiura’s heard this voice.

“Are you busy with summer prep courses?”

“Well, I’m finished for tonight, so not really. What about you? Doing okay?”

“Club is going really well, of course. I want to go swimming since it’s so hot, though.”

“Not that, your supplementary classes. You’re going to them and doing the assignments properly, right?”

“I’m doing them. …..There’s a range of topics designated for each day, so I’d be in trouble if I didn’t do them.”

The teacher in charge of the supplementary classes claimed that the majority of students who say they “can’t study” are simply not in the habit of sitting at their desks, rather than having a large difference in their basic academic ability.

He’s not entirely wrong, Kagiura concedes. Because, after all, every time he sits at his desk, he finds himself watching Hirano’s back as he studies or after he’s finished his homework.

If he hadn’t been observing Hirano’s day-to-day life, he probably would’ve said something like “we’re just built different” and not thought anything of it, but thanks to Hirano, he can see the difference between himself and someone who continually puts in effort each day.

“That’s for the best when you’re in your first year. You’ll get more points by reviewing the material from the first semester than by choosing units based on trend.”

Due to the large difference in their characters, Kagiura is skeptical of the theory that if he seriously worked hard, his scores would rise accordingly, but Hirano, who is always studying much more difficult subjects than Kagiura, is sparing him some effort. He has no choice but to do it.

“.....Yeah. I’ll do my best. But, you know…” Although his voice is already subdued so as not to carry into the hallway, Kagiura drops his voice even lower.

“But, what?”

“Our room feels kind of empty when you’re not here.”

When the little huff of laughter reaches his ears, he closes his eyes, unable to stand the way it tickles as if the breath had brushed him directly.

“You must be getting tired. Go to sleep already.”

He wants to protest that he’s not at the age when sleepiness makes him needy, but just as Hirano pointed out, exhaustion is beginning to weigh on him.

I want to fall asleep just like this, without hanging up.

Even though he knows that’s impossible, he almost blurted it out.

I want to see him soon.

*****

T/N: (1) The phrase here is actually 親の実家, but this concept doesn't really translate well into English, so I figured grandparents' house conveyed the meaning best. Basically, in traditional families, the 実家 (true home) is the main house (think Akito's house in Fruits Basket) where the grandparents still live and the extended family gathers for events. This tells us 2 things: 1, that Kagiura's family's probably loaded, and 2, they're traditional, so if he and Hirano ever actually start dating (lol), we can expect some juicy family drama

(2) Full disclosure, Kagi's super cheesy/romantic line at the end is more literally "When you're not here, this room is too big and too quiet". I was going back and forth about how to write it, because I'm a stickler for accuracy, but ultimately I think what I ended up putting conveys the wistfulness and longing a little better than transliterating it would

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#re: accurate translations- i am open to opinions so lmk if you guys would prefer a more 1:1 tl #i cannot promise i will translate by the word bc tbh that would be a horrible translation #but i am very new to translating novels (read: this is my first)#so im still figuring out what balance of readable vs enjoyable works best #up to now ive tried to stick as close as possible to what is literally written in the book #but the thing about translating is that if youve translated so precisely that youve lost the voice and the nuances its a failed translation #so i took a few more liberties with how i worded things this time #(while still keeping the gist the same bc i would never lie to yall like that)#(& bc as a reader i hate reading a tl and then looking at the source material)#(and realizing the tler changed the entire meaning of certain lines or changed certain concepts)#ANYWAY #hirano to kagiura #hirano and kagiura #hirano to kagiura ln #hirano to kagiura translation #sasaki to miyano #sasamiya #harusono shou

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brightwoods · 1 year

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Does anyone else feel like almost all of the conflicts that had to do with the various character dynamics in Chain of Thorns didn’t actually get resolved, they just unexplainably ceased to exist after two books of building them up because CC didn’t feel like writing them anymore and she didn’t know how to resolve it naturally after how she’d built the issues up so much?

Like how none of the characters but Cordelia and Thomas had any clue about the Alastair and Charles situation and then suddenly in CoT it was like who doesn’t know? Of course Matthew knew and didn’t say anything before and then randomly brought it up to Cordelia in Paris while assuming she knew too

Or how Alastair and Thomas went from how things were at the end of CoI with Alastair thinking it could never work because Thomas’s friends hate him to oh look everyone suddenly is friends with Alastair with no grudge with no development of that in this book at all, just an abrupt shift

Especially the Alastair and Matthew dynamic where Matthew hated Alastair and wanted him to have nothing to do with any of their friends and he spent CoI ranting about him to Cordelia. And then suddenly in CoT it’s like of course Matthew is supportive of Thomas and Alastair and oh look Matthew and Alastair are suddenly not just tolerating each other for Thomas’s sake but friends despite barely interacting and no development actually showing and never getting any mention of the other in their own POVs, just having Cordelia be like Alastair stop being dumb, you’re literally friends with him now

Or like everyone other than Christopher and Grace where it was like oh we don’t like her for how she’s treated us and her friends straight to anyway she’s one of us. Like yes Grace was useful and yes Tatiana manipulated her whole life, but none of that was why anyone changed their minds or opinions? It was just suddenly the flip of a switch when it was convenient for CC

Or Anna and Ariadne where it didn’t so much develop as Anna just acted mean to Ariadne on and off throughout the series and at the end of CoI she wanted nothing to do with a relationship and then in CoT she was just suddenly like sure I guess I do. Also, slightly different note, but I did not like that Anna barely interacted with anyone else for the entire book and she was just off in the corner being an irrelevant romantic subplot for almost all of the book except when she showed up to barely even be shown in the background being sad about her brother being dead

(Although Anna still got more of a reaction than everyone else and his death was poorly executed all around in the sense of how did you write this so predictably and poorly that no one even knows when he died and it’s so background and 99% of the characters don’t care at all and we don’t see his parents finding out or much of Thomas’s reaction or anything and it’s just as if he wasn’t a character anymore 2 seconds later which is a different genre of issue with CoT but similar problem in the sense that both issues made the book feel a lot more emotionless to read)

And how the issues of Thomas and Alastair being together as two men and Anna and Ariadne being together as two women in this time and the issues of what would happen if the fact that Charles and Alastair were gay got out to the entire Clave just disappeared and never got addressed at all. We know how the ClVe reacted to Alec Lightwood YEARS later. We know society was homophobic at the time TLH is set and that it seems like shadowhunter society was a lot less open-minded than mundanes a century later

I understand that Charles being blackmailed and making shitty decisions was annoying but it was like suddenly everyone finding out wouldn’t have consequences and all the other queer men characters were like how could you possibly be worried about this :/ as if they haven’t spent the whole series knowing they have to be careful about who they tell. And then suddenly it was just of course it’s totally fine and safe to have everyone find out and why wouldn’t you be fine with that. And it was really written in a way that had other queer characters like oh Charles is such a coward for not being ready to publicly tell a bunch of homophobic people his sexuality and it just wasn’t it??? And super weird after Thomas was terrified of telling even Anna and Matthew for years. And also, I did not care for the fact that when Charles did go risk getting outed to finally do the right thing, we didn’t even get to see it through any character’s perspective or how that important meeting went, we just got one line of dialogue from somebody else saying that it happened with no details at all. And I can’t think of other examples right now but there were quite a few moments like that where we got one line saying that something had happened that was important to the plot and to characters’ development that seemed like it would have been more interesting than some of what we did get to see where it was just totally breezed over and way too easy and totally background to less important stuff

And then there was the whole no one reacting to Ariadne and Anna dancing together publicly thing was like yeah that’s nice I guess but not realistic and it doesn’t go with the way things have been presented up to that point, it also just feels like a situation where CC was like well this would be easier for me so there just won’t be consequences and then they can easily end up happily together

And then there was the whole Thomas and Alastair thinking they couldn’t realistically be together thing and knowing they couldn’t get married or be known to be together by anyone they’re not close to and then at the end it’s still not really addressed how they’re going to be together? Like there was the laziest write off of the family tree being wrong and then we still are just left to assume that eventually they move in together and suddenly it’s not a problem and everyone’s fine with it? And then I also feel like we don’t actually know if everyone found out about Alastair and Charles’ sexualities after the blackmail or if people are going to assume about Thomas and Alastair or if that’ll cause issues or if no one knows outside of who they’ve told and they have to be careful or what. Which like wouldn’t necessarily need to be addressed if it wasn’t for the logistics of being together as two men in that time being part of the obstacle that they were struggling with being in their way and then it felt like it was totally forgotten to even be one at the end by CC

Idk like I’d love to think they just lived in a world where homophobia didn’t exist but it felt like homophobia was a plot point when CC wanted it to be an inconvenience and then suddenly disappeared just to make her writing easier the moment she didn’t want it there anymore instead of actually addressing the plots she raised with it if that makes sense?

And sorry, I really did not mean to go on a rant this long. And maybe everyone else had a very different reading experience than I did and other people don’t agree with some or all of this. I personally am just very confused about how the book was almost 800 pages long and it felt like so much of the development in it was us abruptly being told that development had happened rather than actually getting to see it and how so many of the issues were abruptly solved in an I don’t want to write this issue anymore kind of way rather than anything actually needing to be worked at outside of the Belial situation

Edit: You know what, I mentioned it in my tags but I feel like it’s annoying enough to put in the body of the post and make it even longer. What the fuck was with everyone outing or potentially outing everyone else just so that characters could openly talk about the queer characters and tell them to do what they want them to? Why did Matthew out his brother multiple times? Like yes, the people he said it to coincidentally already knew, but he didn’t know that. And why was Thomas outing Alastair? The straights got to keep their secrets as long as they wanted and fix their problems more naturally. Why did I have to sit through queer characters constantly having their sexualities and romantic histories to everyone else when they clearly had not okayed it? Why were the queer characters doing so much of the outing? Why were people who cared about them and knew what it felt like to be afraid of the wrong person finding out just broadcasting their sexualities to make it easier for CC to breeze past development to have their things get resolved fast? Why did no character have an issue with it at all?

#As a queer person the whole using homophobia against her characters as plot just to pretend homophobia doesn’t exist and call her characters #cowards for worrying about it as soon as she’s decided writing it doesn’t serve her plot agenda anymore really icks me right out #Like yeah I’d love homophobia to not exist but girl what are you doing that’s so gross to go about it that way #ALSO everyone outing or potentially outing everyone else to other characters to make it easier to get the queer characters to do what she #wanted them to was a HORRIBLE vibe. Why is Matthew outing his brother? Why is Thomas outing Alastair? Why is everyone telling everyone else #people’s sexualities as if it’s nothing and everyone has a right to know when that character clearly did not feel that way #And it’s so out of nowhere every time too #Hot take: Charles protecting Alastair’s privacy instead of outing him was more valid than anything any of the other queer characters said #about Charles or Alastair’s sexualities even if I hate Charles and his going along with the blackmail was bullshit #Also now that I’ve written all of this down and 99% of what I wrote about in here has to do with the canon queer characters that’s not #a great look either that she did breeze over some of the stuff with the other characters for sure but she was way more likely to skip depth #and development with the queer characters in CoT #CC said no slow burn gradual changes in this book… there’s only room for abrupt 180s and Cordelia running 🏃‍♀️#Sorry if this has weird typos and other mistakes in it. I typed on my phone and didn’t check for autocorrect nonsense and I’m too lazy to #reread this all rn at my current brainpower level #CoT #Chain of Thorns spoilers #Chain of Thorns #The Last Hours #The Shadowhunter Chronicles #Cassandra Clare #My Posts

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carnivalcarriondiscarded · 6 months

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Phullo it is I again!

I am very glad that you actually responded and given me an actual advice since I was worried about the question I sent you.

Though besides that I have another question for you (hoorayyy)!

So, about the reading books earlier- I’m fortunately a bookworm too! It’s just that I notice I prefer reading the genre science fiction/psychological horror more than… anything else!

And while the books I am currently reading, ‘Flowers For Algernon’ and ‘I’m Thinking Of Ending Things’ (these books are seriously so wonderfully made they make want to tear my walls), DO have romantic aspects of it- it’s not really the main plot of the story..

‘Flowers For Algernon’ has amazing storytelling and is very unique- though I’m not sure if you’ve read it before but, it’s actually just the main character taking notes. Hence why there was a lot misspellings which honestly makes it a great touch if you know the context behind it.

On the other hand, ‘I’m Thinking Of Ending Things’ too shares the same uniqueness as the other, possibly even more unique if I must say so myself. Though I REALLY don’t want to make my story similar to them since I want to make it more heart warming than fucked up..

Which is why I feel like I have the need to borrow or buy at least one romantic book because, I lack of it. I mean I accidentally borrowed it one time but it was kind of disappointing.

I don’t know if its a good idea and if I should do it or not since does it really matter of the genre, or just the writing?

Still, if you have any good books that are in the romance genre. Feel free to recommend some to me!

-lots of love, from another bookworm

welcome back! happy to hear you're a bookworm as well <3 im writing those titles down since i read a criminal lack of sci-fi despite loving it

i actually don't have any straight up romance recs - i don't actively search it out (outside of fanfic), so any romance i read just comes with whatever book i've picked up. just straight up romance bores me, unless its a fic with a pairing i actively like. and even then, i need to take breaks from it unless the romance is interspersed with an actual plot. im not a romantically-geared person! i dont have single Main Plot Is Romance book on my shelves!

but imo its really just the quality of writing that helps. ive never been in a romance, im the child of two different divorces, and yet ive been told that i write romance fairly well. go fuckin figure lmao.

so actually my advice on romance is to just like. wow idk what i do is pick apart the romances i see on tv / in writing. what makes them good together, how do they act around each other, what are their love languages, what's their dynamic, what traditional romance things do they partake in, what dont they partake in, do they have anything nontraditional, do they work and why do / they dont they - does that make their relationship more interesting or is it flat. are they a good match.

you don't have to have every answer, but ive found that at least understanding their characters / dynamics, and having them interact in a way that suits them will help your romance feel natural. dont conform to tropes or tradition, that will just make the relationship flat and unrealistic. and you can always sprinkle in little things that you like / would like, which will help ground the romance and get you into the groove

tldr with romance, i think it's better to observe real life (whether that's paying attention to couples or reading reddit threads) & analyze in-love or in-a-relationship characters instead of just reading romance novels. bc honestly, and from what i can tell, they can tend to be over the top or cookie cutter

just realized you did not explicitly ask for romance advice! Oopsie! i got a little carried away here....

#another thing i like to do is analyze bad fictional relationships / ones i dont like #both bc it gives me a concise argument / explanation if someone gets on me about it #and bc it helps me understand what makes good romances Good #bc bad relationships make me sit there and ask 'well. what went wrong here? why dont they work? why do i hate this? whats Missing?'#and filling in those gaps teaches me what Does work. what will go Right. why i Love it. what Is there.#sometimes the answer is simply bad writing & after taking a deeper look #i can conclude they they Are good for each other - the show/book just shoved them together with no reason other than #'need romance' or 'boy meet girl' or 'love at first sight'#i mean there are some romances that i look at it and im like 'wow! this should not be happening!'#but i Like it because its interesting enough! a good example is aline & the darkling from the grishaverse #such a fucking unhealthy relationship. really well written. fascinating. hot as hell. important for the story/characters.#i wanted to rip them apart but also glue them together to see how horrible the train crash would be!!!!#absolutely unprompted #so i mean... i think i can rec books that Have good romances in them? but thats not the focus by any means #lemme know... i know im less helpful this time around but i hope im helping a little!#feel free to ask as many questions as you like - ill do my best with all of them

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