Penacony welcomes you!! Only now for the low low price of your soul, you too can spend your life in the land of dreams!!

January 17, 1915 | Franz Kafka diaries

...

Every so often I remember that one user that i blocked for a reason i dont QUITE remember but im pretty sure was because they were being rude and abrasive to me on my own blog and then they took to making posts about how "someone they really looked up to blocked them for no reason" i wonder what became of them

Revenge on @dandunn and his extremely cool guy Kazuya!!

In which he and Toorn beat the shit out of each other in some back alley and then go eat burgers

+ burger extra:

ive been doing this meditation thing where i identify my feelings. ive never really liked meditation, it would be boring or id get cold or i wouldnt get much out of it or the instructions would be so vague or not applicable to me or id start ticcing a bunch bc i had to hold still.

but recently ive been getting really angry, and overwhelmed, all the time and it just kind of sucks. so a few days ago i laid down with a blanket and closed my eyes and counted my breaths and let myself tic freely even though the tics disrupted my focus. and i let myself feel my emotions in that moment and i let myself shudder and cry out. and i took those emotions and separated them so i could feel them one by one. and i tried to figure out what each emotion was. i didnt need to know why, i didnt need to try to change it, i didnt even need a name for it if i couldnt think of one.

and just sorting through that tangle of emotions so i knew what i was feeling gave me a sense of control, or more it eased the feeling of a lack of control. and it gave me a safe space to feel and do nothing but feel. i think im gonna be alright someday

.

How do you deal with the loneliness? And I don't mean a 'do it alone' kind of way. I do things alone all the time, I have no problem with doing things alone. I mean, I have one friend (I think we're friends), and he lives in another state. My sister only likes me because I drive her places and pay for things for her and has told me that if I wasn't her brother, she'd hate me. And not even for anything I've done, just because the way I dress and the music I listen to isn't punk enough for her. I try meeting new people and making friends, but no one will talk to me, and when I try to initiate a conversation, they cut me off and ignore me. Strangers make fun of fun of me for just existing.

And now I have to move somewhere where its not even safe for me to leave the house on my own. And I have to live my parents who are "fine" with me being trans as long as they "don't have to change the way they refer" to me, in terms of name and pronouns. And they're requiring that I quit school and acting for good.

When is it just time to give up?

hit tag limit on the last post cos i started talking about roller coasters again 😔

please tell me how to do the shoulder seams of the shirt im knitting

additional context:

this will be the seam at the top of the shoulder, not the seam onto the sleeves (bc there are currently no sleeves)

that is the full width of the straps (~2in wide)

they are worked exactly the same way, so they are equally easy to knit and have the same effect on the fabric

you dont need to knit (or be following me) to vote and feel free to reblog this

crying about these sketches rn. they need bit more refining but ahhhhhh i hope they will look just as cute when i finish them

just realized its been a year since we’ve seen my shitty uncles family and almost a year since we’ve totally cut them off :D

living in a tlp shelter is just. Here is a problem outside of your immediate control. Bargain for your life with your caseworker

fitting rooms are the WORST

For that OC ask game, how about #15? And I don't know any of your OCs, so whichever one you want to answer for.

What is the first thing people notice about my OCs?

Well, this is always a little bit of a hard question to answer because I have chosen to violate the laws of character design and make basically none of my characters' appearances notable. The first thing someone might notice about Arely is how nondescript her appearance is, the second might be that she seems like she's having fun. People might notice Aoife's more grunge/punk style and quickly notice how she has not taken to being rude and edgy to match. They might note that Ellie, although a total normal teen, seems impressively well put together and it isn't hard to see that she's whip smart.

Just....my OCs weren't meant to stand out. Some of them were specifically meant to NOT stand out. What makes them special, at least to me, isn't really their attributes or appearances, it's the sheer strength of their willpower and convictions. But that's not something you see at first glance. So if you look at them, all you'll really see at a glance is normal people, with bright eyes.

well i just fell down a 1am wiki rabbit hole reading about Joseph Merrick...