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jeanslongschlong · 3 years

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a-z fluff alphabet for connie springer

requested by @squidonmywall !! i hope you enjoy <3

warnings: some swearing

word count: 1871

A = Admiration (what do they absolutely adore about you?)

Your sense of humor! Connie is a really funny guy, so it means a lot to him that you can match his energy at all times. He doesn’t believe in soulmates, but he’s starting to think that maybe, just maybe…

B = Body (what is their favorite part of your body?)

Your cheeks! Connie LOVES to pinch them, caress them, kiss them, and so on. He makes it his life mission to make you blush, as seeing the red tint on your cheeks makes pride swell up in him over the fact that he made you have that reaction. He also loves when- jk, we’re keeping this PG here. I’ll expand more on this when I do his NSFW alphabet.

C = Cuddling (how do they like to cuddle?)

Under lots of blankets and on top of lots of pillows. But he will cuddle with you anywhere and everywhere; Connie is not shy about PDA with you.

D = Dates (what does their ideal date with you look like?)

I get extremely romantic vibes from Connie, so probably some sort of mountain getaway, during which you spend time in a sauna, go skiing, and have a candlelit dinner with the breathtaking view of the snow-tipped mountains in the background. I can assure you he will do everything in his power to make you swoon, and (more likely than not) CRINGE at some of his cheesy attempts at flirting. He may be a romantic, but I never said anything about being smooth. That is a whole other story.

E = Emotions (how do they express emotion around you?)

Connie is pretty open about his emotions with everyone, but even more so with you. You just make him feel so comfortable, he knows that no matter what he’s feeling you won’t judge him; you’ll try your hardest to sympathize and help him work through it. That’s another thing he loves about you, your empathy.

F = Family (do they want one? If they do, when?)

CONNIE WANTS LIKE FIVE KIDS AND YOU CANNOT CHANGE MY MIND. In any case, he only wants them if you want them of course. He isn’t going to force you into something you don’t want. However, I would say that it could be a deal breaker for him…but it just depends. If you do want to have kids as well, I’d say he wants to start having them around 24/25.

G = Gifts (how do they feel about gift giving? What are their habits when it comes to this?)

HE LOVES GIVING GIFTS. I don’t think he has a lot of money so they probably aren’t expensive ones, but expect a bunch of small things randomly. He doesn’t need a holiday to buy you a gift, he just does it whenever he feels like it (which is almost always LMFAO he’s such a sweetie I am in love).

H = Holding Hands (when/how do they like to hold hands?)

All the time. Everywhere. Everyday. He holds onto your hand like it’s his fucking LIFELINE. (please I simp for this man so much he is so precious help)

I = Injury (how would they act if you got hurt?)

Simply put, he would cry. Similar to Eren, he would most likely shut down, overwhelmed by the panic and regret that washes over him when someone informs him of your injury. He would be so patient and loving during your recovery period, though. If you were staying in a hospital room he would give you his pudding cups during dinnertime.

J = Jokes (do they like to joke around with or prank you? how?)

Obviously Connie likes to joke, he’s one of the funniest characters in AOT. However, pranks? Nah. Not alone, at least. Teamed up with Sasha is a whole other story. But I don’t think they’d be anything serious. If he did prank you, it would be like…hiding a whoopie cushion on the couch where you normally sit, not a breakup prank or a cheating prank. He thinks those are too cruel and he would feel wayyyy too bad about it.

K = Kisses (how do they like to kiss you?)

Lowkey…I feel like he gives wet and sloppy kisses. But the type that make you feel warm inside. Kissing him brightens your whole day, they’re so infused with love that you could faint.

L = Love (how do they show you they love you?)

Words, gifts, kisses, random hugs, cuddles, you name it. He makes it VERY KNOWN in every way possible that he loves you. He is not embarrassed about it at all, and he makes sure you don’t forget it.

M = Memory (favorite memory together?)

Your first date. He stuttered so bad and yet you didn’t make fun of him. That’s when he knew that he had it BAD for you. He went home and literally couldn’t sleep he was so overwhelmed with affection for you.

N = Nightmare (what is their worst fear?)

He’s afraid that his forwardness will eventually scare you away. He’s so open about everything, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that you are, so he’s afraid that one day he will overstep his boundaries and drive you away permanently.

O = Oddity (what is one quirk they have?)

French kissing is a no-no. Even though his kisses are wet and sloppy, I really think that the thought of your tongues in each other’s mouths gross him out. I think the same goes for Levi, too, if I’m being honest.

P = Pet Names (what do they like to call you?)

Angel, my love, my dearest. THIS BOY IS SO CHEESY BUT IT MELTS YOU

“You’re so pretty, angel. How the hell did I manage to get a girlfriend as heavenly as you?”

(And then you probably made fun of him and you two double over in the type of laughter that makes your stomach cramp. Oh, to be loved by Connie.)

Q = Quality Time (how do they like to spend time with you?)

A lot, quality time is his love language, second to gift giving. If he had it his way, the only time he would be away from you is when he was at work, at school, or going to the bathroom. Otherwise, he wants to be all up in your business. But, he respects your space so he tries to refrain from asking you to hang out every day. Key word: tries.

R = Rhythm (what song reminds you of them?)

“Two” by Sleeping At Last. No explanation needed.

S = Secrets (how open are they with you?)

He tells you everything, even things you think ‘god, why did he tell me that?’ afterwards. SO, he tells you everything. He keeps nothing from you, which makes surprising you SUPER hard for him LMAO. He just wants to tell you as soon as he possibly can.

T = Time (how long did it take you to get together?)

Not very long. 3 months at most. This boy can’t wait LOL he has 0 patience. He knew he wanted to make you his even before you had your first date, but he waited to give you time to think about what you wanted. (Although how could you not want him??? FR)

U = Upset (how do they act when you’re upset?)

Super supportive. He will be whatever you need him to be. If you need to scream at him to let out all of your frustration? He’ll let you. If you need him to hold a pillow for you to punch while you’re angry? Consider him your new punching bag. If you need him to just hold you and stroke your hair while you cry? He’ll do it. Anything for you.

V = Vaunt (what are they proud of? Do they like to show you off?)

He’s honestly just so happy that you love him. He loves to show you off; he tells anyone who will listen how amazing you are, how beautiful you are, how he’s convinced that if soulmates did exist, you’d be his.

W = Warrior (how do they feel about you fighting? Would they fight for you, beside you, etc?)

Like Eren, Connie would lay down his life for you in a heartbeat. He gets a little scared when he thinks about you fighting, but he knows that you’d be fine, so he never really voices that fear.

X = X-Ray (how well are they able to read you?)

Pretty damn well. He’s not dumb, he can tell when you’re actually mad and when you’re just crabby because you haven’t eaten. He’s memorized all of the indicators that point towards how you’re feeling, and he’s always prepared to deal with it.

Y = Yes (how would they propose to you?)

SOOOOO ROMANTICALLY PLS IM GONNA SOB THINKING ABOUT IT.

This is the only secret that I feel he would successfully keep from you; he wants to make it as special as possible (which is quite the opposite of Eren LOL). He would take you on a walk near sunset, and would time it so perfectly that you would end up at the place you first met right when the sun starts to set.

The sky is filled with picturesque shades of pinks, yellows, reds, and oranges, and you stop for a moment to gape in astonishment at its beauty. He admires you as you stare at the sky, your hand held to your forehead to shield your eyes from the brunt of the sun’s mighty rays, your eyes filled with such bewilderment that it warms him from the inside out. He takes this moment to kneel down onto one knee, reaching back to fish out the black ring box he had put in his pockets a few hours before.

“Y/N…” he says softly, trying to get your attention. You turn around, expecting him to make fun of you for being so infatuated with the colors of the sky, but instead let out a strangled gasp.

“Holy shit, are you-“

“Yes,” he smiles up at you and reaches out with his left hand to grasp your right. He gives your hand a loving squeeze, sucks in a breath, then continues, “I knew from the moment we met here all of those years ago that I was going to marry you. You know how I knew?” You shake your head no. “The moment our eyes met, I was filled with such a sense of completion that there was no other way to explain it. I’ve told you many times that I don’t believe in soulmates, that I think it’s just a shanty created by the romance genre to create unrealistic expectations when it comes to love. But…I’m now thoroughly convinced that you are mine.”

“Connie, I-“

“Marry me.”

“Yes.”

Z = Zen (what makes them feel calm?)

Taking a nap with you under a thick blanket. He loves to be held by you, so preferably with him on top of you, your arms wrapped tightly around him and him using your stomach as a pillow. Prime sleeping position for Connie Springer.

#aot headcanons #aot #attack on titan x reader #connie springer x reader #connie springer #connie springer fluff alphabet #snk #shingeki no kyojin #attack on titan

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grlfriends · 3 years

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revolutionary girl utena review

ep 1-5

the plot is actually kinda different from what I thought ?? in my mind the plot was: utena was a girl in a princess school who each and every princess would be "conquered" (for a lack of better words rn) in a ceremonial duel by a prince who fancied them, maybe she didnt wanna wanna marry anyone or she liked Anthy already but anyway in my mind utena showed up in the ceremony with duel clothing and then, in a very brave tm like-scene, she would openly declare she refused to be conquered by anyone and tbh I'm not even sure how Anthy would come into the plot... but back into what actually happened in the episodes everything so far is very introductory and just showing what mechanics will be explored further down the line I think?? the op is really good too

also every boy so far reminds me so much of knights of the zodiac?? maybe it's just the design I guess...) and nanami can get these hands, jealousy is a disease and she's the sickest person on earth for all I know

dont ask me why bit I just feel like room of mirrors - gfriend has a very well fitting vibe for it but I'm not exactly sure why hm.... 🤔🤔

ep 6-12

ok so why does this school just have random animals around 😐 I could understand the horse but a bull and a kangaroo?? what ...

touga just says the most random dramatic things and then just casually says anyone who believes in friendship is a fool ?? the guy wouldnt last a day in the naruto universe tbh, he kinda irks me in some way but I'm not sure why so I'll live with this strange feeling for a while I guess

↳ okay so watching ep 10 made me especially kinda creeped out, I know I've watched only 10 eps so far but like can he fall downstairs and break a neck or something already ...

also haha what if I watched that bet on it fmv and gave myself a bunch of spoilers would that be funny or what 😍 this is why i cant have nice things yall.... hope my memory goes to shit when sleep so I dont remember about it this week while I finish it

I feel like the main thing on the episodes are parallels, one way or another I always feel like they're setting up parallels and giving me clues for a bigger picture and a deeper plot arc that is still to come and the bet on it fmv just made this impression stronger, also I wanna say it's done in a good way, one that is both mysterious (??) and "honey you've got a big storm coming" at the same time 🤔🤔 much to think about honestly

↳ just saw ep 11 and even though I already knew this was coming sooner or later it still felt like crap seeing utena lose to dick head, at the end of the episode when he says anthy was always just reflecting utena's own wishes for himemiya (in another way bc I dont remenber the exact words) it felt like 😐 bc yes I knew that (the way she was working her thoughts was simply a copy and paste of what utena was saying) at all time I kept those essays about anthy in my head, I dont think theyll be truly relatable to what I'm seeing rn but yeah anthy rights (even though I know you betray/cheat on utena down the line bc of the bet on it fmv but I'm sure you had your own motivation)

↳ saw ep 12 bc I just couldnt handle being in a cliffhanger and yeah it happened what I absolutely thought it would lmao not that it was that difficult to foresee but yeah, I kinda liked how utena did it for her instead of being like "oh I wanna save anthy from touga" and treating her like a damsel in distress (I know that's kinda her position as the rose bride for what I've been told so far and that this is a subject spoken about in many many essays on tumblr but yeah) bc so far she's been treated as a trophy and a way to get something else, for the green haired guy it was a way to see something eternal, for miki it was a way to hold on into his "shining thing" and for touga it seems (so far) like a way to manipulate (just like he does with nanami) and just mark his position as above everyone else as he seems to view himself?? man I might be saying random stuff rn but it kinda does makes sense in my mind with the information I've had to this point

ep 13-25

honestly 😐😐 through 9 whole episodes I felt like they were trying to make the side characters deeper and show their hidden face and motivations but it felt so shallow...... not even actually shallow, just not deep enough that it would make me care about these characters and the fact there was no actual build to showing us why we're getting to know these characters backgrounds was just kinda meh too, didnt really help that all episodes had all the same formula and the same timing just for the developers made in those episodes be forgotten at the end and also just that pink haired guy could be like "ah failure again", it felt like watching the same episode over and over again, it was really tiring and like?? girl help I do not care about these characters at all, I feel like it could have been done well (like the keiko ep in comparison to the furuba chapter that deals with the yuki appreciation (??) club president graduating.... the way this ep was done and setup didn't really bring me any emotions) overall not to my taste and tbh I feel like I could have skipped all those episodes except for maybe the miki and juri one so 😑

all nanami focused episodes are the worst so far, she's so boring and I cant stand now annoying she is, the diary episode?? the cow episode?? the episode when tsuwabiki fuels with utena?? honestly I know they're trying to show me a better and different side of her but it just doesnt!! work!! bc i feel no sympathy for her, my biggest wish rn is her and touga just disappearing and no more filler episodes🗣🗣

I thought akio was utena's prince?? but apparently he's just anthy's brother and like.. I'm do done with his little talks with utena and yadda yadda, I just wanna see their duel is that too much to ask I'm dying over here (if this lenga lenga continues until ep 25 i will be so mad bc why were so many episodes wasted on such boring and and not necessary side characters backstories?? idc about them at all man aaaaaaaaaa)

↳ ep 25 was good finally we got what we deserve boys 😭😭😭😭😭 can utena just beat up akio already I'm tired of his ass, he exhales both "I'm a feminist I even take women studies classes #herstory" and "if she breathes she's a thot" energy also he has 0 style that mullet is simply horrible I bet there's a hairstylist community who considers him a criminal bc like 😐 it is simply so bad (q bit less when it's tied up but when it's all lose jesus Christ)

also touga thinks he's suuuuch a genius, sooo smart like king, I do not care about you at all can you shut the fuck up please and can we tall about the pink haired guy episode?? wack. honestly thought it would be more emotional or something, I binge watched 12 episodes with his ugly haircut face and did not even feel a thing he can choke I guess ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

ANTHY TAKING A SWORD OUT OF UTENA'S CHEST??? OSCAR WORTHY KINGS❗❗❗and then her lame ass brother being like "oh ho ho idk idk" shut up no one cares no one cares I swear to you no one cares shut uuuuup

ep 25-39

first of all, ep 25 was good but kinda reminded me of the nine episodes (13 until 21) where absolutely nothing interesting happened so I hope I'm wrong also can I just say just seeing the preview of the next episode made me roll my eyes so bad I almsot saw my brain?? bc yeah I'm fucking tired of nanami fosuced episodes she's so annoying oh my god nobody cares about a goddamn egg and much less one coming from her let her die or something pls she's so annoying there's nothing I've learned about her that was not against my own will I'm basically rotting over here 🤒

↳ ep 30 has me thinking Akio has a foot fetish or something 😐 bruh leave utena aloooooone I already know your plans and schemes you're not fooling anyone that's embarrassing for u and also... utena you're not very bright are you.... you start seeing every duelist you face with the same exact car and then when you see akio has the same car you didnt even stop to think about it that 1+1 equals 2 ... girl help yourself 😐

↳ yet again another nanami focused ep 😐😐😐😐😐 even though I do understand her better now I still don't find her particularly enjoyable to watch, call me a woman hater but like. idk she's still a bit annoying to me (but touga is straight up evil and is manipulating her so I feel bad for feeling like that tho.....)

↳ ok last 2 eps to go but listen. I thought the akio duel would have happened much sooner, maybe on ep 33 max but well didn't this age well lmao ngl, it did seem a bit too slow paced for my personal taste but also I feel like there's a certain level of drama that comes with slowing the pace down....

↳ aaaaaa yall I'm kinda 😢😭 over the ending omg........... even though it took the best of me to keep going in some parts I still enjoyed the ending aaaaa I thought i wouldnt really like it bc I just usually dont enjoy this type of ending but stil 😢😢😢😢 wait for me utena 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 girl I cried and then anthy walking in the end god utena and anthy holding hands 😭😭😭😭 akio can suck my dick

there's obviously many things I've missed or that I kinda didnt really pay attendance to so please dont take this serious, I was just writing as I watched the episodes so it's more like a thought compilation than anything, still I can see why there's many essays written about it and why it is held as a masterpiece by so many people

#g.txt

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go-forth-and-live · 3 years

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Hazel: with one day of freedom from Val, what would he do? Is there anything he feels he can’t or won’t do with Val inside of him? Give an embarrassing memory! Now give one that involves Val. How active is Val in Hazel’s daily life? What’s one thing they both agree on? Hazel’s favorite food. A smell or taste that brings up a strong memory? Does he have a core friend group? Or many people he’s acquaintances with? Did he get along with his parents? What kind of child was he?

With one day of freedom from Val, what would he do?

Spend the day trying to banish Varahal to hell before he can re-possess his body. :\

Is there anything he feels he can’t or won’t do with Val inside of him?

I think with Varahal now active and a conscious part of him, Hazel doesn’t really think finding a home or a family is something that’s really in the cards for him anymore. He isolates because he thinks it’s safest that way for the people around him. Early on, before he’s had time to learn how to cope with Varahal’s presence, he’s terrified of the possibility that he could lose control again and really hurt somebody.

Give an embarrassing memory!

He got in a schoolyard fight with a boy from his class once, when he was around 8 or 9. The kid got Hazel on a bad day, made some shitty comment about him being adopted, and Hazel just decked him. Bishop Filbert was called, along with the other kid’s parents, and they had to sit through a big disciplinary meeting about it in the headmaster’s office. The two of them had to shake hands and apologize. It was The Worst.

Now give one that involves Val.

One time he sneezed and his wings burst out of his back. He was at a crowded market and his wings are sharp enough to slice through trees. There were multiple injuries. One guy lost a hand. Hazel, unsurprisingly, had to book it out of that town toot sweet.

How active is Val in Hazel’s daily life?

I’m still kinda figuring that out! Though I think Hazel is generally pretty good at keeping him suppressed throughout the day, as long as he takes care of himself. Varahal can talk to him pretty easily through their shared consciousness, and I think that tends to be the limit of their day-to-day interaction usually.

What’s one thing they both agree on?

Falling down a cliff sucked, 0/10, would not recommend.

Hazel’s favorite food.

So I have since learned that the line from Hazel’s character profile about his favorite food being “high quality food cooked without alcohol” may actually have been a mistranslation, and that his favorite food is “stylish cooking,” which simultaneously tells me both more and less about Hazel’s food preferences, BUT! Anything hella frou-frou and sophisticated is probably his jam. He’s a high-end steak cooked to perfection and king crab arranged elaborately in a seafood tower kinda boy. I feel like he probably likes oysters too. He just seems like an Oysters Guy.

A smell or taste that brings up a strong memory?

I have this idea in my head that Filbert used to cook chitterlings sometimes, and like--boy if you’ve ever smelled chitterlings, that’s an aroma you don’t soon forget. Hazel dutifully choked them down because he was determined to be a Good Son, but that’s a smell-and-taste memory that leaves him a little green around the gills.

Does he have a core friend group? Or many people he’s acquaintances with?

The impression I kind of get from the flashback chapters of the manga is that Hazel was the kind of kid who was seen as very polite, dependable, devout, and Nice, but kind of unapproachable. We never once see him hanging out with kids his own age, and while his peers don’t seem to be particularly mean to him (aside from that one kid who was like “oh he’s an orphan? no wonder he’s praying all the time, since he’s so much less important”, and like, hey! fuck you little kid!!!), they don’t really understand him.

As an adult, he’s very much the kind of person who comes off as extremely friendly, cheerful, and open, always the life of the party, but he keeps people perpetually at a distance. He’s well-liked by the people who don’t write him off as a self-absorbed jerk (which, lbr, he totally is, at least at the start of his development), but there’s not really anyone he’s comfortable having real conversations with or being genuinely vulnerable with. So. Yeah! I think he’s the kind of person who has a lot of acquaintances, but almost no real Friends.

Did he get along with his parents?

Hazel’s parents died in a demon attack when he was a toddler, and he never really had the chance to know them. That said, he was extremely close to his adoptive father, Bishop Filbert Grouse. Like... his wanting to be acknowledged by him and to be of use to Filbert in his work was kind of The Defining Arc of his childhood, and as an adult the memory of Filbert’s violent death at the hands of Varahal is a big part of why he is the way he is and hates demons as much as he does.

(Note: This is excluding my shared verse with @notsomerciful where her OC August is secretly Hazel’s mom, though because she gave birth to him so young and wasn’t in a position where she was really able to raise him herself, he was brought up thinking she was his older sister. That relationship is uh... complicated! And fraught with an awful lot of mistrust, hurt feelings, and abandonment issues.)

What kind of child was he?

By all accounts, he was like, a model kid. Always polite and respectful, always did his chores, always did great in school--though I think a lot of it came out of a deep-seeded fear of rejection and not being worthy of love. The kind of kid who’s always worried about stepping out of line, or asking for too much, or just generally not Being Perfect. The fact that he wasn’t Filbert’s biological son always left him feeling somewhat like he needed to prove himself--even though this absolutely wasn’t the case for Filbert, who never treated Hazel as anything less than family.

Basically he was a very well-behaved child with a loooooot of self-esteem issues that his adoptive dad probably recognized but didn’t fully know how to help him work past, and never really got the chance to support him through as Hazel grew up, since he also died when Hazel was pretty young.

#hhemeraa #[ headcanon ]

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otdderamin · 5 years

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Transcript: Fjord's inner fears – TM for CR C2 Ep61

This is the longest Talks Machina transcript I’ve put together (it’s 14 pages), and it’s only half the good stuff: Beau’s answers were also excellent. This is the absolute best of what Talks can be: Travis spilled absolutely everything about the subtext of Fjord and what’s been going on in his mind as he panics. All the things we’ve been speculating about are laid bare. This is the subtext to everything going on in Ep61 and Ep62.

Scenes run:

1. How stressed was Fjord losing his powers? 0:26:34 to 0:13:07

2. Fjord is scared of losing both his friends and connection to Vandran 0:16:56 to 0:20:10

3. Maybe we’ve misjudged Uk’otoa 0:23:29 to 0:24:41

4. Fjord didn’t want to see Wursh, it was an excuse for a crisis walkabout 0:24:41 to 0:26:59

5. Fjords powers are defining who he is 0:33:40 to 0:34:23

6. Everyone needs to pull their weight or they’re out 0:35:16 to 0:38:52

7. Fjord’s fallen in love with this version of himself 0:42:31 to 0:44:42

8. Uk’otoa is a connection to Vandran and now 0:46:55 to 0:48:34

9. Fjord doesn’t care about Avantika 0:52:09 to 0:52:55

10. Home is a big-ass maybe 0:54:30 to 0:58:10

1. How stressed was Fjord losing his powers?

0:10:06 Brian: “Travis, Vega_The_Fool wants to know, ‘On a scale of one to being dumped in a room alone with a blue dragon, how stressful was it for Fjord to wake up and find he’s been depowered? On the same scale, how stressful was it for Travis Willingham to realize Fjord had been depowered?'”

0:10:25 Travis, passionately: “Yeah, look, they’re one in the same, bitches! Okay? It was a ten! A fucking ten! A ten! It was terrible. It was awful. In the moment I was looking at Matt like, ‘What are you…?’ I just- I thought maybe I was just getting, like, I don’t know, nerfed or something, but to conjure nothing… I’m a guy with a sword. I’m a guy with a sword…”

Marisha: “I’m convinced there’s a 20-minute time period after that happened to you that you didn’t hear a word said at the table.”

Brian: “Yeah, you might have to watch that back.”

Travis, shaking his head: “Nope. Nope.”

Marisha: “I could tell just…” she mimics stressfully changing positions.

Brian: “That blankness, yeah.”

Travis: “Uh-huh. I’m pretty sure I was movie breathing, too.”

Marisha: “Yeah.”

Travis: “Like,” he breathes loudly and heavily. “During the endgame Laura tapped me and she was like, ‘Stop fucking breaking so loud.'”

Brian: “Yeah yeah yeah.”

Travis: “Something I do. Big ass no.”

Brian: “I almost broke Ashley’s hand. I was holding her hand and five minutes into the movie I was squeezing it so hard she, like, peeled her fingers off and was like, ‘Can you chill for a sec?’ And I realized it was because she had a Milk Dud stuck in there that I really wanted. Were you going to say, Travis?”

0:11:29 Travis: “I was gonna say, blue dragon was like, ‘Oh god, I might die. thank god people are coming.’ But the… Not having any powers and Travis having a character that has no powers, yeah, not good! It’s no good.”

Brian: “I have been in haunted house situations with you before, I’ve been in scary situations with you before, and I know when you sound terrified. And I was sitting there on my laptop watching the show, and when you ran out in the street and were like, ‘Oh fuck, oh fuck,’ I was like, ‘Oh no, oh no, oh no!’ It’s cool. It’s cool. I like it. I like it when you’re going off a little bit.”

0:12:03 Travis: “It’s okay. I’m sure because, because, thanks to CritRoleStats, it’s only been 35 days since, you know, since the last eye was placed that I have another 35 days before my next warning.”

Brian: “No, you don’t know that’s the case.”

Travis: “Yes. That is exactly what they said.”

Dani: “Really it’s been like 5 days since your last warning.”

Marisha: “It’s like a 90-day default period.”

Travis: “There’s a verbal warning, and then there’s a shot across the bow, okay? That was a shot. That was a physical…”

Dani: “So do you think they’re just going to escalate, or do you think he’s going to go back to verbal warnings?”

Travis: “Look, I’m sure there’s like, there’s gonna be a flier that comes in the mailbox that’ll be like, ‘You have 90 days to reply to this. Your interest is…'”

Brian: “Yes. It’s going to be so gentle.”

Travis: “You’ll be sent to collections if you don’t reply.”

Brian: “It’s going to have a big thing on the front that says,” Uk’otoa voice, “‘Reply.'”

Travis, laughing: “Open it up and it’s just one word.”

Dani, quietly under Travis: “Uk’otoa I feel is actually the IRS.”

Brian: “Say it one more time, Dani.”

Dani: “Uk’otoa is exactly the IRS. Never trust a phone call. They only send letters.”

Travis: “That’s why they sealed him away.”

Brian: “More like the IRIS.”

Marisha, after a pause: “Oh, iris, I get it. With it. Hip.”

Dani: “Oh no.”

Brian: “Okay, because it’s an eye and an eye has a-“

0:13:07

2. Fjord is scared of losing both his friends and connection to Vandran

0:16:56 Brian: “Travis, CalicoJill, ‘Fjord’s fear of losing his powers is palpable, where does that fear lie? Is he worried he couldn’t travel with his friends if he couldn’t hold his own or that he’d lose his last tangible connection to Vandran?'”

Travis: “God, these fans and their fucking good questions.”

Marisha: “I know, man.”

0:17:21Travis: “Yes. Both. I mean, yeah, he is temporarily satiated by the fact that Vandran seemed to be okay in Caduceus’ vision, or that he is well and trying to atone for past mistakes. I’d still really like to see the guy that, you know, treated him decent for the first time in his fucking life. Just say, ‘Hey, what the hell happened? Glad you’re okay. I’m okay if you were wondering?”

Dani, mournfully: “Oh-hoho.”

0:17:52 Travis: “Well yeah, you know. And then two, yeah, y’all- we’re some fucking dragon killing, like, badass 9th level motherfuckers. I’m not if I don’t have my shit! Right? If I just have a sword, I’m a half-orc with a strength of 11. I’m like a +1 with a sharp thing. It sucks! Yeah, nuh-uh.”

Brian: “Do you regret picking your class?”

0:18:21 Travis, animated: “I regret all of it! It’s all regerts all day every day! I just want out! Trade with me! Do it right now, shake on it. Let’s [exercise this demon]. Do it!”

Brian: “I just want out! Trade with me!”

Marisha: “No! I’d rather be a basic bitch than deal with some sort of demon.”

Travis, pleading: “Please. Look, look I could do it, watch!” He double punches the air. “Pap pap!

Dani: “Trade that!?”

Marisha: “No!

Travis, double punching the air again: “See: pap pap! Flurry of blows!”

Marisha: “Yeah, isn’t that great.

Dani: “Did you say, ‘Pap pap?'”

Travis, undercutting the air twice: “Stunning strike! Ba bap!”

Marisha: “You see that has nothing beholden to my fists.”

Travis, quietly stress and defeated: “Shit.”

Brian: “Nah dude.”

0:18:49 Marisha: “I felt really bad because as soon as the cameras went off, and I could see Travis’s like freaking out and I’m like the worst friend ’cause my first response was, ‘This is why I’ve never fucked with warlocks.”

Dani: “Yeah.”

Travis, laughing: “That happened!”

Brian: “Wow. Wow.”

Marisha: “And I was like,” she looks at him. “And he was just like,” she braces herself with both hands on the coffee table and slowly looks back at him in disbelief.

Travis, slapping his leg laughing: “That was what you said! I looked over at Taliesin for some guidance, like, bro, like, I mean, we kicked Orthax out of your body and then killed it. I got no Orthax, I got nothing to kill, I got no nothing.”

Brian: “I have no fire.”

Laughter.

Travis: “Yeah. Hey Korben my man.”

Laughter.

Travis: “Yeah, yeah no it’s panic around here.”

Brian: “I love that that was your reaction. Like, yeah.”

Travis: “Yes, yeah.”

Marisha: “Your choice, eh.” She throws up her hands.

0:19:32 Travis: “He cannot hang. He cannot hang. He would die real quick. If middle of the day, not like after a rest, I don’t know if the wisdom check the night before had anything to do with it. If it’s just like we’re getting ready to ambush some people and all of a sudden, like, my sword just falls out of the air at my feet right as we’re getting ready to go? I’m’a sit my ass right where we are and wish everyone good fortune.”

Dani: “Good fjortune?”

Travis: “Good fjortune? Oh, good- oh fjork you, Dani.”

Dani cackles.

Brian: “Oh boy. Oh boy.”

Travis: “Need my powers, man.”

0:20:10

3. Maybe we’ve misjudged Uk’otoa

0:23:29 Travis: “Listen, maybe we’re being too judgmental of poor, misunderstood Uk’otoa, right?”

Brian: “Okay, that line of thinking is bound to get you in a world of shit.”

Travis: “Maybe we just go, and we drop that third sphere, we let the little, the little snake guy out of his cage he just…” He makes a slithering motion.

Brian: “No. You’ve seen Prometheus.”

Travis: “No. Nobody saw that.”

Dani: “I was about to say, I was like, ‘Did you?'”

Brian: “Steve, you saw Prometheus?”

Steve: “Yeah, yeah.”

Brian: “You yeah, yeah?”

Marisha: “If you, like, suck another eyeball inside of you, and we kill him, though, do you get to keep his powers?”

0:24:01 Travis, stress laughing: “I don’t know! I didn’t read the contract! There wasn’t one!”

Dani: “I have a question.”

Travis: “Yeah?”

Dani: “Was there a contract? Or did you just wake up and you suddenly fucking had powers.”

Brian: “I think there was some nasty shit in this.”

0:24:13 Travis: “It was the latter as far as I know.”

Brian: “You woke up?”

Dani: “So you just don’t- so you also- so it’s like what y’all were talking about with those memory loss- memory-“

0:24:22 Travis: “Yeah, I was drowning. and it hurt like a motherfucker, and the next thing I knew I was awake on a shore and there’s a sword just washing up in the waves.”

Brian: “Should have had gills, man. Should have had gills like that Sea Quest character. You would be fine. This one’s for Travis.”

Marisha and Travis, laughing: “Sea Quest?”

Brian: “Here comes Lockey to remind us.”

4. Fjord didn’t want to see Wursh, it was an excuse for a crisis walkabout

0:24:41 Brian: Micawindow, Fjord seemed anxious to leave the herbalist’s and talk to Wursh. If he hadn’t learned his powers returned when he created a minor illusion, would the conversation with Wursh have gone differently?”

0:24:59 Travis: “Uh yeah. I only went to talk to Wursh ’cause fucking Yasha wouldn’t leave me alone.”

Brian: “It’s true. Yeah.”

Travis: “I was trying to fucking-

Marisha: “Wait, what, really?”

0:25:09 Travis: “Yeah! I don’t give a fuck about Wursh! I was trying to amscray!”

Brian: “You forgot about Wursh. Forgot about Wursh.”

0:25:14 Travis: “No, I was gonna ask- Yasha was like, ‘I’m gonna follow Fjord.’ And I’m like, ‘Fuck!’ ‘I’m going to talk to Wursh right now. That is my only intention.'”

Marisha, laughing: “You were trying to have a crisis walkabout and…”

0:25:28 Travis: “Yeah! That’s why I was getting so impatient! Shit is going down, alright!? The clock is ticking! I don’t need to share it with you guys! I can resolve it, but I need to do it on my own time, my own terms!”

Dani: “Ooo. That is not a healthy way of thinking, Fjord.”

Travis: “Did you, are you saying that to Fjord, right? Travis is a very responsible person and a good friend.”

Marisha: “I was about to…”

Brian: “What?”

Marisha: “Nothing”

[They gently browbeat Marisha into talking.]

Marisha: “Just didn’t know if we were talking to Travis of Fjord.”

Brian: “I know, he’s got more accents than Liam’s character has names.”

0:26:26 Travis: “Well, and listen, half of it was I was asking about what was in the town because as we walk through, we’ve just kind of been moving to one place and the other, not really taking inventory of what’s around. I don’t know if there were temples or other things that maybe I could pop in and go like, ‘Hey, do you guys know anything about a giant snake dude called Uk’otoa?'”

Marisha: “Can I get a B12 shot?”

Travis, laughing: “Yeah, seriously!”

Marisha: “Just real quick.”

Brian: “Is this the tent where they’re doing the B12?”

Travis: “Do you ever reckon that wellness shot? Can we get some…”

Marisha: “Universal healthcare, right?”

Travis: “Yep.”

0:26:59

5. Fjords powers are defining who he is

0:33:40 Travis: “I mean, okay, I can say that Fjord’s not an open- like, just a straight-up open book. He’s… yeah. All these powers, when he has them, are defining who he is, right. It was really not anything close to that before. So yeah, he keeps it super close to the chest. Plus, people look to him in a… looked to him in a leadership role for a while. That’s new to him, too. So, he thinks that, probably from his experiences with Vandran, that, like, stoic, quiet, calm leaders that don’t show, you know, that don’t blush in the face of adversity are how it’s supposed to be. Not knowing that you can do it however the fuck you want to. there’s no right way to lead.”

0:34:23

6. Everyone needs to pull their weight or they’re out

0:35:16 Brian: “Travis, Dikemon asks, I’m going to skip some of this, ‘How much of his abilities does Fjord tie into his identity? Is he scares that the Nein might think less of him if he becomes powerless?'”

[Full question: Travis: We’ve seen Fjord grow more confident as his powers grew. 61 episodes in and those powers are threatened to be taken away. ‘How much of his abilities does Fjord tie into his identity? Is he scares that the Nein might think less of him if he becomes powerless?]

0:35:26 Travis: “The guy shouts ‘Eldritch Blast’ when he doesn’t have to. Yeah, it’s, uh, yes. I see the bottom half of the question. Yeah, they’ll think less of him. Who wouldn’t, right? Everybody needs to be able to- No, Dani, they would! You’ve gotta pull your own weight in this group. If you are the weak link, they’re gonna hold auditions for The Mighty Eight.”

Brian: “The Might Eight?”

Travis: “Yeah. That’s what’s happening.”

Marisha, looking confused and concerned: “No, we wouldn’t, though. You know that.”

Travis: “No. Nope.”

Marisha: “You know that, but Fjord doesn’t know that.”

Brian: “I don’t know. No, Fjord doesn’t know that.”

Travis: “Don’t know. Caleb is… I mean, listen, I think Caleb evaluates all the group members, and because they can each contribute something to keeping each other safe, then it’s a zero-sum game that everybody can, you know, they can take care of each other. If one person is going, ‘I’ve got a sword over here if any of you need it,’ like a fucking ball boy,” he slightly shakes his head.

Marisha: “Well, look, you could have been our Caddy Shack for a few episodes, and we would have gone and got your powers back. We just quest for powers.”

0:36:37 Travis: “How do you do that? How do you do that? How do you think you do that?”

Marisha: “We…”

Travis: “Where is Uk’otoa to you?”

Marisha: “We toss you in some salt water.”

Travis: “Uh-huh.” His body language says, “I don’t know.”

Marisha: “Let you get a little…”

Travis: “Briny?”

Marisha: “Uh-huh.”

Travis: “Uh-huh.”

Marisha: “See what happens, go from there.”

Travis: “How long do we wait while I’m in the ocean before you realize it’s not doing shit?”

Marisha: “Mm, you know…”

Travis: “A fortnight?”

Marisha: “Not beyond the threshold of a Revivify.”

Laughter.

Travis: “Oh god!”

Brian: “Oh wow.”

Travis: “You’re trying to reset the hard drive? Like, you’re just going to- okay. Okay cool.”

Brian: “You’re thinking just like… You’re thinking reformat disk. Reformat disk.”

Dani: “Turn him off and tuning him back on!”

Travis: “Yeah, you’re turning the computer off and holding the power button down factory settings.”

Marisha: “Fuck you guys. He’s blue screened.”

Brian: “Disk utility. Yikes.”

Dani: “Aw, think how much Beau loves Fjord that she would be willing to factory reset him.”

Travis: “Wow.”

Dani: “Aw, I think it’s sweet.”

Travis: “Wow, that is some…”

Dani: “We’re just going to throw you in the water, buddy.”

Brian: “I can’t wait.”

Marisha: “Look, this was a 60-second plan. This has had no R&D. Okay? I’m not saying we go with our first draft. We think about it. I was just tossing it out.”

Brian: “Campaign 2: now with more Eternal Sunshine on a Spotless Mind.”

0:37:51 Travis: “Yeah. this is what I was doing in the game in the moments where my head was exploding. Like, none of us in the group have any idea how to approach or solve that problem. Nobody.”

Brian: “Yeah. Nobody.”

Marisha: “I mean, we’re going to have to figure it out though.”

Dani: “Only if he tells y’all! Fjord.”

Travis: “I’ll take care of it. It’ll be fine. I’ll take care of it.”

Marisha: “You know when your- you know when your check engine light goes on?”

Brian: “Ew. I don’t think that one bit.”

Dani: “That’s weird.”

Marisha: “Start counting down the days. My check engine light has been on for nine days, you guy.”

Travis: “Yeah, I’ll get it, it’s fine. And then you take it into the shop they’re like, ‘How long’s this been on?”

Marisha: “Uh… a few days.”

Travis: “November?”

Marisha: “Pop the hood, I don’t smell burning, we’re good. We’re good.”

Travis: “Right.”

Dani: “The freakiest days are the ones where the check engine light turns off. And then you’re like, ‘Eh, that’s weird. That’s worse.'”

Marisha: “Yeah. Those are the days I say someone’s looking out for you.”

Brian: “It gave up. The check engine light gives up, that car’s going to explode.”

Travis: “Yep.”

Brian: “Speaking from experience.”

0:38:52

7. Fjord’s fallen in love with this version of himself

0:42:31 Brian: “The only person that could save us now is Skidrule316. ‘Travis, what is Fjord’s apprehension about telling his friends about his dreams and the consequences of ignoring his patron?'”

0:42:46 Travis: “I mean… I think Fjord has fallen in love a little bit with the idea of who this new version of himself is. And being vulnerable and telling people what your biggest fear is and admitting all the ways that you suck, in addition to all the new reasons that you reallysuck, it’s like one step too far. Plus, I mean, he gave it a day, right? He didn’t just up and fucking run out in the middle of the night, although I was on the razor’s edge of just tearing off into the darkness. I don’t know. I didn’t know what the fuck was going to happen. So, conjuring that bird was a real good sign. But he’s motivated to fix it. What was the back half of that question, the back part?”

Brian: “It was about, ‘Fjord’s apprehension about telling his friends about his dreams and the consequences of ignoring his patron.’

Travis: “Oh, the patron, yeah. I mean, that I have no- I don’t have any idea about. I was looking for a temple. I don’t know if anyone would have any idea of what Uk’otoa is, or if they know how to break whatever agreement this thing is, if it is an agreement. I don’t even remember it happening, so I don’t know if he is…”

Brian: “What happens if the agreement is broken though, dude?”

Travis: “I don’t know. I mean…”

Brian: “We don’t know that that’s good.”

Travis: “No, we don’t.”

Brian: “But we don’t know that you’re good, but now I’m thinking you might turn good because this one’s evil.”

Travis: “No, yeah. I mean, from the day that happened until now, everything has been different and awesome because I can shoot shit out of my hands, and jump between planes, and change the way I look, and all of that. If you told me I’m just going back to being who I was before…”

Marisha: “Normal?”

Travis: “Yeah. That’s not awesome. It’s not great.”

Marisha: “Yeah. Yeah, that would suck.”

Travis: “Yeah. He still has work to do, too.”

Brian: “Normal sucks. Right, Max?”

Max: “Yep.”

Laughter

0:44:42

8. Uk’otoa is a connection to Vandran and now

0:46:55 Brian: “Let’s see, Travis, let’s see if you- let’s see what you can answer of this question from GracelessKnight. ‘Fjord’s accent dropped during his nervous breakdown outside. Is there a significant attachment of his accent with his pact with Uk’otoa? Is it heightened knowing that Vandran was also a chosen? If so, how’s he coping with those connection momentarily lost?'”

Travis: “I don’t know anything about an accent drop.”

Dani: “I fucking knew that’s what you were gonna fucking say! Goddamn it!”

Brian: “I told you. I told you he was gonna say it. I told you, but we decided to leave this question in anyway.”

0:47:30 Travis: “Yeah, I mean, it’s definitely heightened with Vandran also being a chosen. I mean, we think. We think, right? I mean, from everything that Avantika said about Vandran, it sounded like he brought her into it. I don’t know if he was a chosen or if he was brought into it the same way he brought her in; I don’t know. But yeah, that’s a huge connection to his past life and now. I mean how the hell is he even supposed to address finding him if he doesn’t have the abilities or the thing that is the link to the last moment that he saw him in? I mean, we’re on the other side of the fucking map. We’re not even on the map, anymore.”

Dani: “That’s true.”

Travis: “We are upper north east adjacent. We are out of bounds. For the moment.”

Brian: “Yeah, out of bounds. Return to gameplay please.”

Travis: “Yeah, he is far from home, yeah.”

Brian: “Return to the combat zone, please.”

Marisha: “Yeah. Sixty seconds.”

Dani: “Aw, just like Spider-Man. He’s far from home.”

Travis: “Yeah, that’s right.”

Brian: “Oh, Dani, oh…”

Travis: “Spoilers.”

Dani: “That’s the name of the movie!”

Travis: “I’m not sure.”

Brian: “Yeah, but some of us…”

0:48:34

9. Fjord doesn’t care about Avantika

0:52:09 Brian: “Yettinim wants to know, ‘How does Fjord feel about Beau wearing one of Avantika’s coats?'”

Travis, singing: ♪ Get it girl. Get it get it girl. Get it girl. Get it get it girl. ♪

Marisha, dancing: “I’m fly.”

Travis: “I mean, sorry. He doesn’t care. Nah.”

Brian: “Doesn’t care.”

Travis, shrugging: “Nah.”

Dani: “Hit it and quit it, man.”

Brain: ‘Yeah, it wasn’t the coat.”

Marisha: “It’s mine now, bitch!”

Travis: “Keep your enemies close.”

Brian: “Yeah.”

Marisha: “It looks good, too.”

Brian: “It wasn’t the coat he had a wonderful evening with.”

Travis: “That’s right, yeah.”

Dani: “I mean it might have been. What?”

Marisha: “It’s fur lined now, fits real nice, shows off my figure.”

0:52:45 Travis: “Yeah, both Fjord and Travis don’t put a lot of stock in new clothes.”

Brian: “Yeah, we can tell there.”

Dani: “He’s probably like, ‘Oh, is that Avantika’s coat?'”

Travis: “I bought this in 2004, so…”

Brian: “You did?

Travis: “Yeah.”

Brian: “Yeah yeah yeah.”

0:52:55

10. Home is a big-ass maybe

0:54:30 Brian: “Lalalyssh wants to know, ‘Fjord grew up an orphan and Beau was ostracized from her family. How do these characters feel now that they have been offered a home to share with their found family?’ So, you guys have this home now. You know, it’s not a house, as you said earlier. You corrected me.”

Travis: “A dwelling? A homestead?”

Brian: “You have a dwelling.”

0:54:49 Travis: “I don’t know. I- He- I feel… I feel good about it. As long as things stay the way they are he’s pretty comfortable with this new life and family. But shit changes sometimes.” He stares at Marisha helplessly.

Marisha, growing more concerned: “Yeah. Yeah. Yeah?”

Travis: “Not in a bad way, I mean, I’m just speaking in a reference to my warlock abilities.”

Brian: “Yeah.”

Brian: “How does Beau feel- Wait, you seem so suspicious all the sudden.”

Marisha: “Uhh…” She nudges her head at Travis.

0:55:24 Brian: “A lot’s going on up there, isn’t it?”

[…]

0:57:08 Travis: “Yeah. I mean, genuinely Fjord is all about moving in solidifying things, embracing this new life. There is a big-ass maybe just floating out there though, now. Like, all of a sudden one morning nothing was like it was the night before, so I don’t know what that means.”

Marisha: “Well, and it feels like you also had your found family before with Vandran.”

0:57:31 Travis: “Yeah, and that shit ripped away.”

Marisha: “And that shit got ripped away.”

0:57:34 Travis: “Yeah, totally. This is the third version of himself.”

Marisha: “So, right. I can understand that through line of, well, you have this by blood, and theoretically they’re not supposed to be able to be like ‘nah’ to you. Theoretically.”

Dani: “Theoretically.”

Brian: “Theoretically. Yeah.”

Marisha: “I don’t know.”

Travis, wincing: “Yeah. Yeah. Oh god.”

Dani: “There’s just so much good character work.”

Travis: “I’m sure Mercer will take it away. It’ll be fine.”

Brian: “There’s a lot of deep character work going on. I like it. I want more.”

Travis: “I’ll be fine.”

Dani: “It’s all so tasty. Omnomnom.”

0:58:10

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thesportssoundoff · 5 years

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“Two title fights, a #1 contender fight and a whole lot more fun” The UFC 231 Preview

Joey

December 4th, 2018

It's December! Ya know what that means? Max Holloway is fighting! Max Holloway is fighting on his fourth straight December card and thank GOD he's making the walk for this one because it's a dandy. The UFC heads to Toronto with what is ultimately a decent step down from their last three December Holloway related events but a god damn good card overall. We've got two title fights, one long overdue and one we never knew we wanted until like a few months ago, and a plethora of really strong action fights and Canadian middle management fighters to round it all out. This card really does miss a great #3 fight (like Moicano vs anybody really) but beggars can't be choosers really. You have some important action fights at bantamweight, lightweight and featherweight outside of the two big fights AND THIAGO SANTOS IS BACK! If that doesn't have your heart skipping beats then I don't know what will. It's not UFC 232 or 233 but it's good and let's enjoy it, right?

Fights: 13

Debuts: Jesse Ronson

Fight Changes/Injury Cancellations: 2 (Renato Moicano vs Chad Mendes CANCELLED/ John Makdessi OUT, Jesse Ronson IN vs Carlos Diego Ferreira)

Headliners (fighters who have either main evented or co-main evented shows in the UFC): 11 (Max Holloway, Brian Ortega, Valentina Shevchenko, Joanna Contender, Thiago Santos, Jimi Manuwa, Eryk Anders, Gunnar Nelson, Cowboy Oliveira, Claudia Gadelha, Jessica Eye)

Fighters On Losing Streaks in the UFC: 3 (Jimi Manuwa, Matthew Lopez, Dhiego Lima)

Fighters On Winning Streaks in the UFC: 8 (Thiago Santos, Max Holloway, Brian Ortega, Nina Ansaroff, Carlos Diego Ferreira, Kaitlyn Chookagian, Elias Theodorou, Aleksandar Rakic)

Main Card Record Since Jan 1st 2016 (in the UFC): 35-16-1

Max Holloway- 3-0 Brian Ortega- 5-0 Valentina Shevchenko- 3-2 Joanna Contender- 4-2 Cowboy Oliveira- 6-2-1 Gunnar Nelson- 2-1 Hakeem Dawodu- 1-1 Kyle Bochniak- 2-3 Thiago Santos- 7-3 Jimi Manuwa- 2-2

Divisional Breakdown:

Featherweight- 2 Welterweight- 2 Women's Flyweight- 2 Lightweight- 2 Light Heavyweight- 2 Bantamweight- 1 Middleweight- 1 Strawweight- 1

Too High Up- Kyle Bochniak vs Hakeem Dawodu

I don't think this fight was originally scheduled for the main card and then it got the bump up when Moicano/Bektic fell out. It's not the WORST fight to get bumped up because of the majority of the dudes on the prelim slate, very few of them are prospects and most are just established names and keepsakes for their respective divisions. Bochniak is very much riding the Zhabit fight buzz right now which is good for him and I guess I'm glad the UFC is giving Dawodu that PPV rub. THAT SAID/having said that, maybe another women's fight on the main card could've been a better allocation of resources. No, the fight will probably not be as exciting but Gadelha vs Ansaroff could theoretically be a fight where the winner draws a Tatiana Suarez or one of the other names in the division (Waterson, Felice Herrig, Calvillo if something happens to Courtney Casey). I'd even be okay with Aleksandar Rakic (one of the genuinely intriguing 205 lb European prospects) vs Devin Clark getting the call up. Either way, I'm not mad about this fight being on the main card BUT it could be better.

Too Low- Devin Clark vs Aleksandar Rakic

Let's go back here right quick. Even if you don't move Esparza vs Ansaroff, it's a perfectly accepted prelim headliner. It may not have a finish in it (I think Ansaroff and Esparza have one UFC finish combined) but it's got some name value, it's good compelling matchmaking and I think everybody will be fine with it in this spot when all is said and done. Devin Clark vs Alexander Rakic is the third fight on the Fight Pass prelims. It's somehow below Brad Katona (off TUF undefeated) and Matthew Lopez (loser of two straight and owner of a 2-3 record in the UFC). It's below a really blegh fight between Elias Theodorou and Eryk Anders and even Olivier Aubin Mercier vs . AT THE RISK of being mean, it's even behind Jessica Eye vs Kaitlyn Chookagian which is absolutely positively going to be a fifteen round sparring session given Chookagian's style and Eye's propensity to brainfart in the face of anybody who can comfortably strike with her. Kind of not a fan of this burial of the fight given that Clark is a competent (if somewhat frustrating) fighter and Aleksandar Rakic just dominated Justin Ledet without too much trouble. Let's do better, UFC.

Stat Monitor for 2018:

Debuting Fighters (Current number: 38-41-1): Jesse Ronson

Short Notice Fighters (Current number: 32-33): Jesse Ronson

Second Fight (Current number: 42- 36-1): Brad Katona

Cage Corrosion (Current number: 22-37): Max Holloway, Gunnar Nelson

Undefeated Fighters (Current number: 35-24-1): Brad Katona, Brian Ortega

Keeping An Eye On But Not Really; Fighters with at least four fights in the UFC with 0 wins over competition still in the organization: Matthew Lopez

Twelve Precarious Ponderings

1- What is a fair buyrate expectation for this card? Let's start with the positives! Brian Ortega vs Max Holloway is the sort of fight that should not require the booker of the year award to sell. It's two compelling unique characters, dominant in their own ways and in their own base styles, from two unique backgrounds facing off. Both are on long long winning streaks in the UFC, Ortega is undefeated and Holloway has finished the greatest FW of all time twice. There's not a lot of trash talk but both guys are very clearly talking and trying to promote this fight within what they can say. Ortega has been a high profile fighter on a number of occasions and Holloway is headlining his third straight PPV. Now the negatives! Jim Cornette has a saying that I want to borrow for this one; Hurting your audience's feelings. Jim uses that sometimes to describe bad booking decisions which seem to have lasting damaging effects on business, scaring off fans and leaving them downright pissed off at what they got. Holloway pulled out of a March booking with Khabib Nurmagomedov due to a massive weight cut and nobody seemed to get too mad about it. Holloway a) tried to save the card and b) was up a weight class AND ON HIS COUCH when he got the call. The July one is a little bit more messy as Holloway pulled out AGAIN under vague circumstances as concussion symptoms turned to allegations that he had a seizure turned to rumors of water overloading to what is now rumored to be some sort of Vegas drugging. Holloway's done it twice now and despite being a warrior and super consistent durable fighter, even I'm of the belief that I'll believe Max when he's in the cage and the door's locked. Brian Ortega isn't innocent either here although his problem is a more subjective one. Ortega had the chance to fight some guys on short notice in July for an interim title. He turned it down. There were a few problems with that for fans; 1) Ortega got HIS big break through a short notice fight where Frankie Edgar stayed on the card to face Ortega as a fill in, 2) he didn't seem the least bit remorseful about it which hurt the feelings of fans who paid big money to see him vs Holloway. FOR the record, if I were Ortega, I would've done what he did---but the right decision is often the wrong decision. When you do something good, the memory is short but be the guy (Jon Jones) who totally lets them down in their eyes then they remember it. The customer is always right even when they're wrong and we see that all the time in the UFC. This may be a fight between the guy who has twice dropped out of PPVs vs the guy who turned down an easy opponent on short notice to stay on the card.

So what IS the buyrate for this? In a just world, Ortega vs Holloway as headliners would do great and with a proven back up draw in Joanna trying to become a two division champion, the buyrate would be very solid. That said, we don't know if the UFC audience had its feelings hurt. There's also the old adage I was always told about December PPVs; if you go before Christmas, you're competing to get people to spend money they have earmarked for presents. If you go AFTER Christmas, you have a shot to get a boost from folks who just GOT spending money from the holidays. Go too far into January and you'll catch them around tax time. Holloway's two December PPVs did what I think we can consider to be the UFC baseline (215K for Pettis, 210 to 220K for Aldo II) and Ortega is a first time PPV headliner. I wonder if the hope is to touch 300K but the reality is that anything over 200K should be fine. Let's see how hurt some feelings were.

2- It could just be recency bias but I can't help but shake the feeling this fight has some Fury/Wilder to it. Max Holloway, like Tyson Fury, can do everything absolutely right for 24 minutes. He can move perfectly, make Ortega pay for coming in sloppy, take him down when he's over aggressive on his plant foot and make Ortega's life miserable with body shots. The problem is that Ortega, like Wilder, has an equalizer that any given time can come into play. Ortega just has this freakish knack to fight with an inevitability; at some point you WILL make a mistake and when you do, it's over. One bad takedown attempt when you're under pressure? He's got your neck. Game over. Get a bit lazy in top control? Triangle. Game over. Even on the feet Ortega is really underrated (or was pre-Edgar) in how crisp he was not just with his knees and elbows but with his hands. Ortega brutalized Moicano with body work, slowing him down and pressuring him until Moicano panicked into a guillotine. He made Clay Guida miserable going for takedowns with crisp work on the feet and then when Clay was tired and falling behind, Ortega finished him with knees. Frankie Edgar made one slip up on the feet and it was over. Ortega fights with like a man who is so confident in himself and so confident that he IS going to win that nothing you do can bother him or deter him. Holloway basically has to fight a perfect fight for 25 minutes whereas Ortega needs ONE opening across five rounds to end this.

3- Can Holloway get Ortega's respect enough to stop the pressure? Holloway can fight going both ways whereas Ortega has at times struggled if he has to fight in reverse.

4- Max Holloway has developed into a pretty competent wrestler since McGregor bullied him on the ground and in large part, Holloway's wrestling is his secret weapon. If it's the path of least resistance and he can avoid getting caught with something stupid, he has zero problems taking dudes down. He controlled Jeremy Stephens on the ground and made Clay Collard wilt under relenting top control and back mount pressure through his wrestling. Thiago Tavares and Diego Brandao moons ago took Ortega down. I'm just not sure if Holloway wants to play that game.

5- So anybody more confident that we get Ortega vs Holloway happening than they are Valentina vs Joanna? Feels like we're about to get set up for another snafu.

6- The UFC's welterweight division has come a long way since Gunnar Nelson last fight. Colby Covington, Darren Till, Kamaru Usman, Rafael Dos Anjos, Elizeu Zaleski, Santiago Ponzinibbio and others have all basically taken steps up while Nelson has bee away. Gunnar USED to be the new hot act in town, aided by how uniquely calm he was and his relationship with Conor McGregor. Losses to Rick Story, Demian Maia and a finish vs Ponzinibbio (although it may have been somewhat controversial) have clearly put a cap on Nelson's potential BUT he is just 30 years old, good on the feet when he can operate at range and a fluid grappler. Cowboy Oliveira's struggles primarily have been against squirrely grappler types (a third round sub vs Gilbert Burns and a panic triangle loss to Cowboy Cerrone are his more serious blemishes) and so I can absolutely see Nelson spamming takedowns until Oliveira either stops him or makes a mistake, gets his back taken and gets submitted. Either way this is a great fight and a great test to see what Nelson's got.

7- WHY is Gilbert Burns being allowed to cut to 155 lbs again? He was pulled from a fight with OAM before due to concerns about the massive weight cut and then when he lost to Dan Hooker, Hooker (a dude who went up from 145 lbs to 155 lbs) basically said the only reason he got the knockout was because Burns had cut so much weight to get to 155 lbs that his punch resistance was cooked. Seems risky and all around stupid for the UFC AND Burns to do this at 155 lbs.

8- So what IS Thiago Santos at 205 lbs? We're in the midst of watching Anthony Smith run up the UFC light heavyweight rankings and Santos iced him pretty easily all things considered. Santos, like Smith, is an all action fighter who is defensively flawed but blessed with unique offensive gifts. If we were to compare them; Smith is younger, more athletic and maybe a bit more aware defensively while Santos wrestles better, hits a hell of a lot harder and lives up the mantra of a man who has a fucking hammer tattooed to his chest. Smith's first fight at 205 was a cooked Rashad Evans while Santos' welcoming challenge was a short notice 185er in Eryk Anders. Manuwa hits really hard and will be desperate off of two losses, painting the picture that there just may be some risk for Santos in this fight. I'm still betting he fights like said risk doesn't exist.

9- Hard pass on Anders vs Elias Theodorou. The hardest of passes.

10- Can Jessica Eye FINALLY get the title shot she's been chasing with a win over Kaitlyn Chookagian? Twice Eye has been in the driver seat for a big fight and twice she's been knocked back, the first a close loss to Alexis Davis and the second a thrashing at the hands of Miesha Tate. Chookagian is the sort of fighter who doesn't possess the big size difference Davis had or the ability to make Eye pay for her repeated mistakes like Tate did. She's a good kickboxer with zero pop, great TDD and a desire to stay on the outside. If Eye can't do it here then she's never going to be able to do it.

11- Can Nina Ansaroff hurt Claudia Gadelha? I think Gadelha is officially at the breaking point of her durability and Ansaroff does have power even if she uses it so seldolmly.

12- IF Holloway beats Ortega, can we FINALLY put him in the running for GOAT?

#UFC #MMA #Holloway #Ortega #Joanna #Valentina Shevchenko #Canada

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insertwatch · 7 years

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Omg, could I request a Mercy X Fem!reader first meeting thing where the reader is injured so Mercy fixes her up? :0 (I'm sorry if this is not enough detail xDDD )

AHHH sure thing, this’ll be so cute!!

There had to be a really, really high chance that at least something was broken. You were sure of it. And if nothing was broken then you sure as hell would be lucky. First day at the newest Overwatch base and you’d already gotten yourself hurt. You could only hope that not every day would entail having your ass handed to you by a fellow recruit during training sessions.

“Go on, take her to see Dr. Ziegler,” your commander ordered his assistant, to which the young man nodded promptly and began to lead you out of the training room.

It was all a little humiliating to have to lean on this guy you’d never met before today. But by the way he remained quiet and kept his eyes ahead, something about it told you he’d done this plenty of times. You wished you could just make the walk on your own (you already knew where the medical wing was, you’d studied the map quite religiously in the weeks following your official recruitment), but your ankle hurt something fierce and walking on your own would probably only make it worse.

What a shameful entrance to a dream recruitment. Nothing to write home about.

As you were escorted into the medical bay, there were several other people there, some sporting the blue uniforms of the organization and some in lab coats. Approaching the front desk, there was a woman with dark skin and even darker hair, to which the man accompanying you asked to see Dr. Ziegler.

There was that name again. It sounded familiar. What was their first name? Dr. What Ziegler? You swore you heard the name around before. It was on the tip of your tongue…

Before you could ponder it further, the woman behind the desk told you both to come on through to examination room fourteen where the doctor would come by soon to see you. So there you were left, ankle throbbing quite unpleasantly, settled on a clean and pristine white bed. It was surprisingly a lot more comfortable than you had judged.

Finally, you were left to yourself to wallow in your own regrets and shame for messing up that badly in front of your fellow recruits. Were they talking about you? Probably. But you couldn’t think about it too much otherwise it’d eat you alive. Unfortunately the blank room had nothing of much interest to keep your thoughts from wandering, not even a single poster of how to do basic things like wash your hands to keep the germs away or whatever.

You took a slow breath before letting it out, your fingers curling in on themselves as you pressed them against your knees. Seconds ticked by. Then minutes. Ten of them, to be exact. You were going to go crazy just sitting here, waiting, waiting, waiting. And you couldn’t even bounce your leg in impatience.

Just as you were about to risk harming your ankle more and march up to the front desk to demand the doctor already, the handle of the door flicked down and it was finally opening. You swallowed roughly as in stepped someone you absolutely weren’t expecting.

A woman, whom you could only assume was Dr. Ziegler, with blonde hair tied neatly into a high ponytail, the bluest eyes you’ve ever seen, and the sweetest and warmest smile this side of the world, was approaching you with a clipboard in hand. You quickly blinked once, twice, before you realized that wow, she was really, really gorgeous.

“Hello there, (Y/N),” she greeted warmly, her accent pleasant but slightly unidentifiable to your ears. She looked over the chart before her as she stood beside the bed. “I’ve been informed you’ve been hurt during training? Do you mind telling me what it is that hurts?”

It took you a moment before you could tear your eyes away from her to look down at your leg, “O-oh, uh, yeah my, uh.. My ankle. My right one. I don’t know if it’s broken or what, it just really hurts. You’re.. Dr. Ziegler, right?”

You looked up just in time to see her delicate eyebrows rise suddenly, “Oh! Yes, forgive me, I’ve forgotten my manners, it seems. I am Dr. Ziegler, yes. And I will be fixing you right up.”

And then she smiled again. It was wider than before, much more genial and soft. You were sure you felt your heart skip a beat.

In the next moment, she was placing the clipboard on the bed beside you, crouching down as she asked, “What happened, exactly? If you can remember?”

She was reaching forward, lightly drawing her fingers along your lower leg. You tried to focus on the question, clearing your throat as you did so, “I’m not really sure, we were doing.. Doing uh-- exercises. Training. One of the other recruits, she got a little too rough and I landed on my leg wrong and--”

Suddenly, a wince of pain slipped from your clenching teeth as the doctor moved your leg a bit.

“How would you rate the pain on a scale of one to ten? One being not at all, ten being the worst?” her voice retained its gentleness and warmth, but there was an air of professionalism and routine to it as well.

You exhaled as she put your leg back into a resting position, “When I move it? Maybe a six. When it’s resting, maybe.. Maybe a two.”

Dr. Ziegler nodded as she seemed to come to some sort of conclusion. She stood, moving over to a short cabinet beside to bed, reaching in and grabbing a small device. You weren’t entirely sure but it looked to be one of those small, portable x-ray machines.

“I have a feeling you’ve only sprained your ankle, but just to be on the safe side,” she went on, pleasant and assured in her early diagnosis, “we will double check to make sure you did not fracture anything as well.”

“What’s your first name?” you suddenly found yourself blurting as she began to run the device down the length of your leg.

The abruptness of the question made her stop, a small look of surprise on her face as she looked up to you. The surprise quickly wore off before she was smiling pleasantly once more and answering, “Angela.”

And before the sudden bold braveness within you could wear off, you prodded even more, “Your accent is so nice. I can’t place it though.”

That got a lovely and melodic giggle out of her as she continued to move the device along your leg, now scanning at the ankle, “Thank you, that’s very sweet of you. And it’s Swiss.”

Oh man. Now you felt awkward. Was that too much?

“Sorry,” you quickly blurted out, laughing a bit nervously as you looked away, brushing a strand of your hair back. “I hope that wasn’t too-- personal. Or anything. You just seem like a really, really-- interesting person. And you have a really pretty name.”

Finally, Angela was pulling back, yet another giggle playing at her lips. It was so warm and so genuine and sweet. Oh man.

Angela stood up once more, “My, my, it’s not every day I get a patient that pays me so many compliments. You are a very sweet girl.”

You returned your eyes back up to the doctor, unable to stop the smile and the pain of your leg fading as though it were a bad dream, “I’m just being honest. And I actually studied some German back in high school. Though it’d probably sound horrible to you.”

“Is that so? Try me,” Angela challenged, a daring smile now staining her lips.

Right away, you were digging into your high school memories of a German class you had almost failed, to try and find something at least slightly impressive to speak. You bit at your lip before taking a deep breath.

“Mein Deutsch ist schlecht,” you formed the words oddly, the accent so terrible it grated on even your ears. “Es tut mir Leid.”

Yet again, she was laughing, but it was much louder this time, much more amused. Angela brought up a hand to cover her mouth with slender and delicate fingers as she continued to giggle. You couldn’t help but laugh with her.

“That was good,” she finally found her words through the laughter, her deep blue eyes still filled with lasting amusement. “The accent could use some work, however.”

You laughed, “Well for the record, I did just tell you my German was bad. That includes the accent, y’know.”

It felt good to know you made such a beautiful woman laugh so genuinely, especially this woman. Seemed as though that time spent in that class had paid off after all. Because it all led to this moment.

“Anyhow,” Angela went on, putting the device down and grabbing the clipboard once more. “I will have to retrieve the results from our computers. Should only take a moment.”

And just like that, she was gone again. Even though she’d probably come back, fix you up with a splint of some sort, then send you on your way, you were sure you’d find other ways to get hurt just so you could come back and see Dr. Ziegler.

#shararogers #request #mercy x reader #hope you enjoy this!!#i had a lot of fun with it!

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h0 · 7 years

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negative post and uhh i guess. death and suicide mention and of? hating oneself? and bullying? edit: this got out of hand quick. it’s a long, very personal post.

i know i go in peaks and low points frequently but haha oh man these days it’s clear as light and i’m not even in the depressed “everything is clear” foggy mood it’s just the truth. being fat has absolutely ruined my life. as has the guy who bullied me from ages 12 to 15. it will haunt me forever. to think he was the first guy i had romantic feelings towards and it just went downhill each day for four years. getting past a year in high school made it better because i didn’t have to see him any longer but incidentally i only started getting gradually fatter and fatter for i guess an year or two? anyway. i’m terrified of going into the street just for the thought of seeing him or him seeing me. i’ve described what it feels like and what it’s done to me and it could be called “abuse” but i feel like i’m insulting people who have been textual-description-level victims of “real abuse” if such thing even exists and to acknowledge it as “abuse” would be an offence to this people. but it’s just the truth. i’m traumatized from it and i dream of it very often and it’s my biggest fear when going out into the street. my absolutely lowest point in the last two years aside from my grandpa’s death was just very randomly and out of sudden seeing him passing right next to me in the street and seeing him up close for the first time in three+ years and it just fucked me up. i ran away and i even left my mom in a store just because i couldn’t get through standing there and him getting past me. i faked a phone call and he went past me and i’m sure he knew it was me and i went back to look for my mom who didn’t even notice. that week had an entire boat of bad shit for each day and that one just cracked me. i think it was the first time i felt genuinely suicidal in all of my life and i haven’t felt like that since or before. it vanished quickly but it still took soo many months to get through that. i’d like to at least be truthful enough to myself to acknowledge it as abuse but in the back of my mind i still think actual abuse victims will come for me and cut my throat because your best friend turning into your crush turning into your bully and leaving a permanent scar in your mind sounds so? i guess pathetic? so white cis boy problems? like bare in mind a big chunk of my problems with this guy who i’m not even getting into came from my sexuality and me starting to get Aware of my own identity circa age 12 and some thunders came from me that struck some things that should have stayed dead, but anyway. also tangential to that i don’t i will ever feel comfortable with calling myself gay and i still wonder if that’s due to internalized homophobia or because of my very rare sprouts of love and interest in an heterosexual relationship which is still as far away from reality as a mlm one because lmfao! i’m a fat dude! like all the you-are-valid positivity folks aside who i think are delusional, people don’t like fat guys! especially gay men! i wonder daily if i’ll ever be comfortable with calling myself gay because some days i don’t feel bi at all but i don’t ever feel “gay”? anyway this text post is a fucking mess. these things have been haunting me for a while and they have made me cry and they have made me feel like shit and they have made me feel like a beast and undeserving of love and of good things although i know that’s false. oh and the “big event” in this text post happened in May 13th, 2016, so i’ve been letting these ugly feelings boil in my heart for over an year. i never wrote them here on tumblr at all. i feel like crying right now but my brother is right next to me and i don’t feel like going There. will probably reread this later as i decide to privatize/delete it or massively rewrite it and will cry my heart out doing that. WOW ANYWAY. i don’t think i’ll ever be comfortable with my sexual identity, but at least i’m not straight! lmfao can you imagine? oh that’s an important point. i may go many years without deciding whether i most comfortably fit inside the description for gay or bi but i have exactly 0% (zero) [none] (cero) [NULL] guilt in not being straight i realized that when i was 15 and i have NEVER felt guilt since. it’s just that i don’t feel like i fit comfortably in these two labels and i don’t think i can call myself pan (which, again, it just feels like an insult to actual pan people). anyway-number-15? man i started this post under “being fat ruined my life” and it got from that to the bully whose memory has haunted me, to my own anxiety at not comfortably fitting inside a label for a sexual identity and my refusal of acknowledging my own worth and experiences. anyway! i’m a fucking mess. i hope i get better? this is the first time in thirteen months that i’ve written about this, which is bad. i should have done this a long time ago but by the time i went though that (may 2016) there were a lot of really bad stuff in my mind like my dad not being home, me being in charge of my house, college, the recent death of my grandfather and how his partner before he passed away basically hijacked his house from us, my declining health, and the revelation that i can’t have biological children. later on that year i had a class which was just two (2) students: me and my crush, and it was basically pain for four months straight? i eventually realized that he’s everything i’d love to be and just am not, so i was standing next to this idealized version of me that i just can’t become! at least not right now! and talk about heartbreak as well fucking obviously, but that’s not what this post is about. 2016 really was my worst fucking year and i went to bed crying so many fucking times not knowing what to do or what to feel!

i don’t know what i’m trying to say with this post to be honest. i guess it’s just things that i swallowed and kept in my stomach way too long. they may have burned me an ulcer but at least i’ve finally spat them!

also i don’t want to finish this post in a “IT GETS BETTER! :D” note because that’s just not what i’m feeling right now. i can’t say i “FEEL LIKE SHIIIT” either because that’s just not true. it’s time for me to face those demons and realize their truth, maybe? i’m fat and that has absolutely ruined my life? (something which i actually didn’t talk at all in this post but i’m not retconning it either?) there’s a guy that has absolutely made my life worse and i’ll probably fear him forever and feel abused by him forever and i absolutely wish i could forget him forever? i will never be comfortable with labelling my sexuality? at least i can say those things out loud now! phew!

please like this post if you read all of this mess.

#personales #12345 T0 B3 D1E2L3E4T5E6 12345

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spursroundup · 6 years

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Ryan Mason: "I have 14 metal plates in my skull, with 28 screws holding them in place, and 45 staples"

Source: https://uk.sports.yahoo.com/news/ryan-mason-14-metal-plates-133356786.html

When you’re a professional footballer, it’s easy to lose sight of what the game’s actually about – you forget why you love it. You see it at clubs all the time: guys training, but not enjoying it, not playing with a smile, not making the most of it.

When you’re a kid, you don’t think of anything else – you just play football. When I was younger, I’d rush home from school, get straight out in the garden and play football until it was time to go in for my dinner. After that, I’d get straight back out to play some more. It’s more than a hobby. It’s an addiction.

One of my first memories is kicking a ball against a little wall in my nan and grandad’s garden – my mum and dad used to say I always had a football with me wherever I went. I grew up in Cheshunt, just outside of London, and joined my first club, East Herts FC in Turnford, when I was six. I was only there for six months.

That’s when Tottenham first spotted me. Micky Hazard watched me at a soccer school in the summer and invited me along to Tottenham. I still remember the moment my dad got the call and told me – I was running round the living room, cheering. It was everything I'd ever wanted.

Being at Spurs was a dream come true. At seven or eight you’re not really thinking about making it as a pro, but even then, pulling on that kit on a Saturday morning gives you a real buzz. Matches against Arsenal are still big games, even at that age. It was still about having fun with mates – it was just doing it while playing for Tottenham.

A few of the lads I played with back then are in the Premier League now. I played with Adam Smith from the age of seven, and Andros Townsend from the age of eight. Later on, guys like Harry Kane and Steven Caulker, who are a little younger, played with us too. I think probably 80% of the lads in our group are now playing league football, and there’s a photograph that shows four of us who went on to play for England.

That group probably isn’t talked about as much as it should be, but it was an incredible period for the club’s academy. It’s funny, because when we were young, it was the age group above us that was seen as the special generation, rather than us. I think that was actually something that motivated us, in a way – we were always hungrier. The atmosphere was great, we were all trying to be so professional and I think we all had the right personality.

One season I scored 42 goals for the under-18s and was starting to think I was ready for my chance in the first team. I remember having a conversation with academy manager John McDermott and him telling me he didn’t expect me to be playing in the Premier League until I was 22, because of the way my body was developing. Some boys are physically mature at 16, but with me that wasn’t the case.

The cream always rises

I always felt it was my destiny to play for Tottenham. Even if they’d tried to sell me, I would’ve stayed – I firmly believed I was going to make it at Spurs, and I felt I deserved it. John would keep saying to me, ‘the cream always rises’, reminding me that it was just a case of being patient and sticking at it.

I would be lying if I said there weren’t moments, for example when I was sat on the bench while on loan at Doncaster, that I didn’t have doubts, but the thought of finally getting the chance to play for Spurs always kept me going.

I was a bit unfortunate when Tim Sherwood took over in December 2013. He told me that I would definitely be in his plans, but I’d signed a season-long loan contract at Swindon and couldn’t go back.

I still remember watching his first league game in charge against Southampton, and seeing Nabil Bentaleb coming on to play in the centre of midfield for the last 40 minutes. It was painful. I'd always got on well with Nabil, and I was happy for him, but I was absolutely gutted – I was thinking I could have missed my big chance.

Then Mauricio Pochettino arrived. One of the first conversations I had with the gaffer was during our tour of the United States that summer, while we were in the queue at an airport waiting for a connecting flight. It became clear very quickly that we both had a similar outlook on life and approach to football.

We were talking for about 25 minutes – before then I probably hadn’t had a conversation with a Tottenham manager that had lasted longer than 25 seconds. For the whole flight, all I could think was, ‘Wow, this might just be my chance’. We clicked straight away: we had a connection I’d never had with anyone in football before.

The big moment came in September. We were losing 1-0 at home to Nottingham Forest in the League Cup. We hadn’t started the league season well and the atmosphere was tense. The manager put Harry on and soon after I went on after 65 minutes, which I think probably raised a few eyebrows. Within seven minutes I’d scored my first goal for Spurs. Harry scored too, and we won 3-1. I think it was a turning point for him at the club.

A few days later, I started my first Premier League match – away to Arsenal. From there everything suddenly seemed to come quickly. I played in 17 or 18 league games in a row.

Lions calling

In February, I played in the League Cup final at Wembley and the following month I made my senior England debut away to Italy. A year before that I’d been playing in League One, and to make that transition so fast was a real whirlwind. I felt I deserved to be playing at that level – I thought my ability justified that. It was a case of being ready for the opportunity when it came. And I was.

For the first five or six games of 2015/16, I really felt like I'd been Spurs’ best player. I got another England call-up in the September, although I didn’t play, but then I got an injury scoring the winning goal at Sunderland and suddenly I was sidelined for a few weeks.

I was so eager to get back I forced it a bit too much. I broke down in a rehab session which set me back for several more weeks.

I was training with an injury, and it was so bad I couldn’t have a hot bath – if I did, the knee would swell right up. I eventually got back in for a few matches, but then we played Chelsea, I rolled my ankle and was out for another two months. When I got fit, I couldn’t force my way back into the team. By then, the lads were in a title race and Mousa Dembele was in unbelievable form. The starting XI picked itself, and I could have no arguments about being on the bench.

Early that summer, a handful of clubs came in for me, but I turned them all down because I was determined to fight for my place at Tottenham. The gaffer said I would get my chance, and he wanted me to stay. But then I came back for pre-season and a few things happened – the kind of things that happen in football, nothing to do with the manager – that I couldn’t really accept or move past.

When I didn’t play in the opening three matches of the season, I talked to my agent and decided that, at 25, I really needed to be playing regularly. I fully expected to go to Hull for the season and then get a move elsewhere – maybe even back to Tottenham. That was just my way of thinking. It’s a short career and sometimes you need to be a bit selfish.

Hull was very different to Spurs. I had moved from a side that were always so positive, always looking to press and win back the ball, to a side that were a lot more cautious and conservative. It didn’t suit the way I play. I’d been told I'd play as a No.10, but after the first two games I was moved back into a deeper role. It took a while to adapt, but as soon as Marco Silva came in, everything changed.

We were playing the way I’d been expecting to play and the way I want to play. The four games I played under him were probably my four best matches for Hull. I was starting to feel like I’d be able to prove myself again. I was very optimistic about my future.

We followed the normal routine for an away game. It was a Sunday afternoon game, so we travelled down on the Saturday and spent the night before the match at a hotel near the stadium. In the morning, we went for a walk along the Thames to loosen up a bit, then had our pre-match meal, a little rest, and got ready to go to Stamford Bridge.

I made sure I left two tickets for my mum and dad at the ticket office. I remember looking at the tickets, seeing that they were in the front row of the Hull end, and thinking that it would be amazing to run over there if I scored.

The game started positively for us. I was up against N’Golo Kante and it was a good battle. There were a few crunching tackles, 50-50s, but nothing over the top. Then after 13 minutes, it happened.

They had a corner. The ball came in, I jumped to head it clear, and suddenly I felt this force crashing through my skull. It was the worst pain imaginable.

People assume I won’t remember it, but I do. I can remember the doctor running on, the immense pain, going through all the standard checks after any head injury. Your body goes into a natural state of panic and self-preservation when you get badly hurt – it knows when there’s something massively wrong. The pain was unbearable; it was like a bomb going off in my head, right on the temple.

Our club doctor Mark Waller made some big decisions that shaped my recovery. He knew straight away I’d fractured my skull and there was potential for brain damage, because the whole right side of my face had dropped and was paralysed. The ambulance driver wanted to go to the nearest hospital, but the doctor said we needed to go to St Mary’s – we actually drove past two other hospitals to get there.

That decision probably saved my life. If we had gone to one of the nearer hospitals, I'd have probably had a scan and then been referred to St Mary’s, which would have wasted valuable time.

It was when I was in the CT scanner that I first went unresponsive, and within a few minutes I was in surgery. Had I been anywhere else, things could have ended very differently. I was being operated on 61 minutes after the injury.

Pain and silence

The next thing I remember is being woken up. Everything was a bit of a blur. I remember feeling a lot of pain. There was so much noise they had to move me into a private room – I couldn’t handle it. I had to sit in complete silence because any little noise was just too much. Even nurses whispering out in the hallways felt like screaming straight into my ear, I was so sensitive to noise.

I was sleeping for probably 20-22 hours a day. They would wake me up to do a few tests, check my blood pressure and so on, but most of the time I just had to sleep. Recovering from that kind of injury is hard work for the body. You need to pace yourself.

I knew I had staples and metal plates in my head, though it wasn’t really until about six months later that the doctors sat me down to explain exactly what they had done. It was all so severe, they tried to avoid overwhelming me. I’m not sure if I could have taken that all in.

In total, I have 14 metal plates in my skull, with 28 screws to hold them in place. There were 45 staples and a six-inch scar across my head, too. Picking the staples out definitely wasn’t pleasant.

Even now I can feel it all there. I’m aware of it all the time. If others could feel what I feel they’d say, ‘Cor, I’ve got a really bad headache’, but it’s what I’m having to learn to live with constantly. The best way I can explain the feeling is to compare it to that headrush you get when you’ve sat watching television for three hours, then jump up to answer the door. Imagine that, but for every minute of every day. When I get a headache now, the pain is excruciating. If I lean over, I feel a rush of pressure to that side of my head. It’s not something I can forget about for very long.

All the nerves down that side of my face were damaged and they’d completely chopped through the muscle across my temple to open my skull up, so for a while the nerve endings were reconnecting and I had this tingling sensation, like pins and needles.

That muscle connects to the jaw so I had no chance of opening my mouth: for about 10 days I was being spoon-fed. It wasn’t until about 10 weeks down the line that I was able to open my mouth properly. The first time I was able to pick up a glass of orange juice, to hold it to my mouth and drink it, was a massive thing for me. The missus and I even filmed it.

My balance was badly affected, too. I couldn’t walk in a straight line – not that I was walking much anyway. For a while, every time I moved my head I started to get dizzy. I went to see a balance specialist after about 12 weeks and she really helped me to regain my balance and move more steadily.

Throughout the entire recovery process I was going up and down the country seeing specialists, having blood tests, having scans – it was stressful. One week I would see someone and they’d say, ‘No, it’s not a good idea to play football again,’ and the next someone else would say, ‘Yeah, you’ll make a full recovery.’

Constant challenges

The first three months after the injury were by far the worst. It was just constant challenges: first it was, ‘Can I sit up in bed?’, then it was, ‘Can I walk again?’. It was a big challenge emotionally, not just for me but also for my family. My missus would be at home with no lights on and no TV for about eight or nine weeks, sitting in near-silence with me on the sofa for most of the day. If she needed a break, my mum would come round and take her place.

Of course the whole thing was difficult for me – particularly as I was used to being so active every day – but I think it was probably worse for my family because they had to see me in that state and the whole process was so slow.

In a funny way, the fact I was a footballer actually helped me to get through the process: I saw it as a challenge to overcome in the same way I had done throughout my career. It was just a case of moving forward one step at a time, and finding a way of making it all work.

By the end of May I was thinking about playing again. I travelled up to Hull to see the boys, and the physio had me kicking a ball against a wall – just like I did when I was a kid. It was the first time I’d kicked a ball in about five months.

Getting back out onto the pitch again seemed such a long way off at that point, but it’s amazing how quickly it all started coming back. I spent two weeks in Portugal that June and worked with a couple of the physios from Hull. Every day I’d be jogging up and down, and although there was still some dizziness, by the end of that holiday I was running at probably 70 or 80%, twisting, turning, kicking a ball again. That break really gave me the belief I could make it back.

By the middle of January this year, I’d convinced myself that I was a few weeks away from playing for the first team again. I thought that I could get back in the team, play a few months in the Championship, then hopefully go back to the Premier League this summer. That was where my mind was at, but I went for a scan in early February and it changed everything.

For that first year after the injury, the focus was almost entirely on my skull – there were holes that needed repairing and fractures that needed to fuse – but then that last scan I had in February showed some issues with the brain. We spoke with some neurosurgeons and specialists and they outlined the facts, making it clear what could happen if I started playing again.

They said if I went back and start heading balls for a year or even six months, there was a chance I could get dementia or epilepsy by the time I was 28 or 29. They said it was a miracle that I'd recovered as well as I had, but that playing again could do more damage.

By the time I got up to leave that meeting, I knew I was retiring. That news was devastating to hear, but we’d just had our son in December, and when I looked at him all I could think was how lucky I was and how happy I was. He’s given me something else to focus on – my life is about providing for him now.

Football is something I still love, though, and luckily I’m fit enough to have a kickabout. Unfortunately it wasn’t safe to play professionally again. I definitely think I would have achieved a lot – I certainly think I would have earned more England caps. I look at the way my career developed, and I don't think I would have hit my peak until I was 28, maybe through to 32. But when I look back, I can say I ticked all the boxes I wanted to tick as a player.

I’m not sitting here gutted I didn’t get the chance to play in the Premier League, or captain my boyhood team, or play for England. If you had asked me when I was 15 what I wanted to achieve in football, those would’ve been the three things. I can be proud of what I achieved during my short football career – I have absolutely no regrets.

If you went through something like this and it didn’t change your perspective on life, you’d be pretty foolish. When you almost die and you’re given a second chance, you find a new level of appreciation for everything you have.

As for me, it’s still hard to think too far into the future. I’ve started doing a little bit of work with the young players at Spurs and working towards my coaching badges, plus some media work, but most of all I’m enjoying myself. I’m just loving having the chance to do things like go to family birthday parties on Saturdays, when in the past I’d have to miss out because I’d have a match. Physically, I can do most things now – I can still run, I can play tennis. I’m a lucky boy, really.

As for further down the line, I just hope that I can find the thing I’m passionate about and can dedicate myself to 100% – like I always did with football.

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junker-town · 6 years

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What’s the 1 thing you’d change about every NFL team’s 2017 season?

In the spirit of the holiday season, let’s imagine what each team would pick if Santa existed (WINK) and granted them all a do-over.

When the holiday season rolls around, it’s fun to pretend you live in the fairy-tale comfort of a Hallmark Christmas movie. (This isn’t just us, right?) It’s Christmas Eve, you’re thinking about that one big regret from this past year as you gaze out your frosted window into a perfect-looking winter wonderland that somehow exists in a world without global warming. Suddenly, a guardian angel or a loved one’s ghost or your future self appears, ready to help you change the past.

Now imagine instead of airing on your grandma’s favorite cable channel, it’s on NFL Network. What would be the one thing each team would change about this season?

Unfortunately, this film doesn’t exist, as far as we know (there are an Avogadro's number of streaming services out there now, so we’re only about 99.9 percent certain here.) But we do have our friends at the SB Nation NFL team sites, who were willing to look back and write about at what was, for most, a painful memory from 2017.

For some teams, this season has been one giant blow to the solar plexus after another, so narrowing the list to just one was difficult. For way too many of them, a major injury was the moment when everything changed.

Others thought that a certain position, player, or one specific game altered the course of the entire season. And sort of surprisingly, one shared regret was not signing 38-year-old Josh McCown.

In the spirit Tiny Tim, a few sites counted their blessings and had to reach to come up with something they’d want their teams to redo.

Here’s the one change our team sites would make if the Ghost of Christmas Past gave them a chance to do this season over again:

The cruel fate of injuries

This was an unfortunate theme of the 2017 season.

Baltimore Ravens: CB Jimmy Smith’s career season getting cut short

I’ve been a huge Jimmy Smith believer since day one. Wrote many articles about him over the past four years, and to watch his best season yet be lost to an Achilles tear is disheartening. He was in line for All-Pro recognition, awards and respect among the league, but it was taken from him due to a torn Achilles.

For more, check out the entire entry at Baltimore Beatdown.

Chicago Bears: How they handled guard Kyle Long’s injury

The one thing I would change about the Bears’ season is they should have allowed Kyle Long to get his body right before letting him play.

Long had offseason surgery on his ankle, but his labrum was also ailing after his 2016 season. He had some complications during his ankle rehab that slowed his readiness for training camp, and that also led to him deciding to put off the labrum surgery.

For more, check out the entire entry at Windy City Gridiron.

Houston Texans: Deshaun Watson tearing his ACL is the obvious (and right) answer

If DW4 hadn’t gotten hurt, he would have surely built upon the electric seven-game sample he tantalized NFL fans with. It’s also entirely possible, perhaps even probable, that he would have led the Texans back to the playoffs. In any event, Watson would have made Texans games appointment viewing again instead of the grim trudge to the finish line they’ve become since he went down.

For more, check out the entire entry at Battle Red Blog.

Indianapolis Colts: If only rookie safety Malik Hooker hadn’t gotten hurt

Hooker is a very young player who only started for a year in his final season at Ohio State. His rookie year was supposed to be all about him growing and developing into a star, all while making opposing quarterbacks pay for errant passes. This defense is being built around young players like Henry Anderson, Johnathan Hankins, Wilson, Melvin and Hooker. The more they can play together, the better it will be for 2018 when they can hit the ground running and be a really good defense. That will have to be put on hold, at least as far as Hooker is concerned.

For more, check out the entire entry at Stampede Blue.

Kansas City Chiefs: Eric Berry’s Achilles injury in the season opener

I can’t help but think what this season would be like if Berry were here. Do the Chiefs go on that losing streak? Does the defense give up 38 points to Josh “Tom Brady” McCown?

I know there’s no point in wondering about all that. It’s not going to change anything. Berry isn’t coming back his injury this year (although I have thought about what an amazing surprise entrance that would be if he did — like Sting returning to WCW in 1997).

For more, check out the entire entry at Arrowhead Pride.

Minnesota Vikings: Star rookie running back Dalvin Cook’s ACL injury

The Minnesota offense is doing well without Cook thus far, certainly. But having #33 in the lineup would make this offense even more dynamic than it already is. There aren’t very many things that I would change about this season thus far for the purple and gold, but if I got the chance to change one thing, we’d still have a healthy Dalvin Cook on the field.

For more, check out the entire entry at Daily Norseman.

New Orleans Saints: They got infected with the dreaded injury bug

The injury to Alex Okafor would be the top thing many would love to take back. Injuries in general are horrible, as the Saints have lost the likes of Nick Fairley, Alex Anzalone, Delvin Breaux, Coby Fleener, A.J. Klein, Nate Stupar, and Zach Strief - to name a few. Fairley’s heart diagnosis was practically a godsend, because the alternative would have been much worse. Klein’s absence is going to be felt, and at this point of the season, there’s not much the Saints can do to to compensate for his loss. Okafor out of the mix has been noticeable on the opposite end of Cam Jordan.

For more, check out the entire entry at Canal Street Chronicles.

If only this one game had gone differently ...

These teams are all still feeling the effects of the outcome or a decision in one game.

Carolina Panthers: Losing to the Bears (wait, that really happened?!)

I’m talking about the stink job the Panthers laid in Chicago back in Week 7. If the Panthers would have won that game (like they should have), they would be 11-3 right now instead of 10-4, would have a playoff spot guaranteed, and would be ahead of the Saints in the NFC South race. This season would be much more fun to talk about had the Panthers not lost that no-good, stupid, rotten, cursed game.

And worst of all - we lost to John Fox, y’all.

For more, check out the entire entry at Cat Scratch Reader.

Dallas Cowboys: Hanging Chaz Green out to dry against the Falcons

The Cowboys insistence on playing Chaz Green at left tackle for the injured Tyron Smith in the game against the Falcons, then giving him absolutely no help, even after it was obvious he was getting destroyed. Not only did this decision lose that game, but the Cowboys were not the same team for the next few games. Only now do they seem to have recovered from that calamity.

For more, check out the entire entry at Blogging the Boys.

New York Giants: Early loss to the Eagles sucked the life out of them

For me, though, the biggest thing I would change is the Week 3 loss to the Eagles.

Desperate for a win at 0-2, the Giants played the first three quarters as though the season was already over, trailing, 14-0, entering the final quarter. Then, a 24-point outburst that saw them take a pair of fourth-quarter leads.

This felt like the kind of sudden turnaround that can change a season. Until it fell apart, with the Giants getting a crushing defeat instead of an uplifting victory.

For more, check out the entire entry at Big Blue View.

Washington: A QB sneak against the Saints could’ve saved their season

When inches are all that you need, why not the keeper? Put a different guy back there for that one play if you are that afraid of getting Kirk [Cousins] hurt. I don’t believe that is the issue, because I don’t believe Kirk would ever make that an issue. If you are worried about signaling to the other team what your intentions are based on personnel, that is ridiculous. The other team knows you need a few inches. It is about to be a fight for those inches. Put your best fighters in, but for God’s sake...get those inches.

For more, check out the entire entry at Hogs Haven.

It all comes back to this position

These teams should’ve made better choices this offseason.

Arizona Cardinals: How they built their OL

The Cardinals had one season of what you could call success along the offensive line, 2015, and changed out 3/5 of that group. Then in 2017, they changed out 3/5 of the group again moving D.J. Humphries to left tackle and Jared Veldheer to right tackle with only Shipley and Iupati remaining intact.

The most important part of offensive line play is continuity… Something the Cardinals have chosen to change to start every year in the Bruce Arians era.

For more, check out the entire entry at Revenge of the Birds.

Detroit Lions: Not addressing the running game (again)

With Matthew Stafford having one of his most efficient seasons of his career, and a pair of receivers nearly hitting 1,000 yards, it’s tragic to watch the season unfold where your quarterback is left carrying a poor defense with no help from his running game. If the Lions had paid more attention to their pass rush, they’d probably be a lot better off, but if they had paid more attention to their run game they could potentially be much better set up not only in 2017, but for the future.

For more, check out the entire entry at Pride of Detroit.

Green Bay Packers: Being unprepared for secondary injuries

Aaron Rodgers getting hurt is the easy answer — too easy. So the Acme Packing Company crew weighed in on something else they wish they had a mulligan on.

Perhaps no area of the team is as affected as the secondary. Green Bay figured to improve its cornerback depth with the additions of Kevin King and Davon House, but both starters have missed extensive time this season with injuries. After playing in 16 games both seasons in Jacksonville, House was notably hit with the injury bug once again while in Green Bay. It’s almost a curse. Without House and King, the Packers have been exposed for their lack of depth at cornerback behind Damarious Randall. Josh Hawkins has struggled in his sophomore campaign, while Green Bay has shied away from giving reps to undrafted rookies Donatello Brown and Lenzy Pipkins. Early season injuries to Quinten Rollins and the developmental Herb Waters didn’t help the situation, but it’s apparent that talent and veteran experience is needed in this unit and should’ve been addressed heading into the regular season.

For more, check out the entire entry at Acme Packing Company.

Los Angeles Chargers: Not choosing wisely at kicker

Deciding to go with Younghoe Koo over Josh Lambo. That decision alone would have given them at least possibly two extra wins. With a competent kicker, they'd have been a playoff team this year.

For more, check out the entire entry at Bolts from the Blue.

New England Patriots: The new faces at RB haven’t worked out like they hoped

This is an evaluation in hindsight because I absolutely loved what the Patriots did at running back. I loved the signings of Rex Burkhead and Mike Gillislee and thought that they would be able to form one of the best duos in the NFL. Burkhead has battled injuries all season and Gillislee has been a healthy scratch since the bye week. It hasn’t gone according to plan.

If the Patriots could do it again, perhaps they would have retained LeGarrette Blount instead of signing Mike Gillislee. The Patriots have used both players in the same fashion- they’ve been grinders between the tackles, but the coaches refused to throw them the ball to soften the run defense in the box- but Blount was a better fit just based on Gillislee’s inactivity.

For more, check out the entire entry at Pats Pulpit.

What a difference one player makes

No one could have predicted these, but still ...

San Francisco 49ers: Imagine if they had traded for Jimmy Garoppolo in the offseason

It would be mostly guess work to suggest how the 49ers would stand right now if Garoppolo had been starting from Week 1. Of the ten losses, the five single-digit games are clearly toss-ups. The second losses to the Seahawks and Cardinals were by 11 and 10 points, respectively. They are not toss-ups, but they would have been more interesting with Garoppolo in the saddle. That’s seven games right there that could have swung differently, so you’re looking at a team that could at the very least have found themselves at .500, if not better.

It’s all just speculation, but it is interesting to consider as we head toward the offseason. Barring anything unexpected, the 49ers are going to be a popular playoff pick next summer. It will be hard to really qualify them as a sleeper if Garoppolo is starting when training camp arrives.

For more, check out the entire entry at Niners Nation.

Seattle Seahawks: Malik McDowell’s ATV accident set off a chain reaction

The injury to McDowell reportedly while riding an all-terrain vehicle before the season set in motion the eventual trade for Sheldon Richardson. Not trading for Richardson again allows the Seahawks to retain a higher round pick, and in addition keeps Jermaine Kearse in Seattle. While fans and writers alike made a pariah of Kearse after struggling in 2016, he has since performed like his old clutch self for the New York Jets. Preventing the injury to McDowell, like all of these changes, has cascading effects throughout the franchise. With more cap space, better 2018 draft capital, and a receiver we know works well with Russell Wilson, perhaps the 2017 Seahawks end up better off.

For more, check out the entire entry at Field Gulls.

Tennessee Titans: Marcus Mariota taking a step back

Ultimately, I decided that the one thing I would change about the Titans season is the regression we have seen in Marcus Mariota. It has been a brutal year for him, and it has us all wondering what he will look like going forward- especially if there are no changes to the coaching staff. He needs to be running and up-tempo, spread-type offense. Mike Mularkey wants to run a slow, tight offense. Those two things haven’t gelled this season.

For more, check out the entire entry at Music City Miracles.

Can’t complain much, honestly

Oh, the season isn’t going well? Couldn’t be these teams.

Jacksonville Jaguars: Blake Bortles getting bit by that radioactive spider or whatever earlier

Maybe the one thing I’d change is flipping whatever switch went off in Blake Bortles’ head a few months earlier. If he had been playing all season as well as he has the last three weeks, we’d be undefeated. Easily. The early losses to the Tennessee Titans and New York Jets do not happen. The Los Angeles Rams don’t have enough fluke special teams plays in the world to overcome it. And the Arizona Cardinals don’t win on a last-second kick.

For more, check out the entire entry at Big Cat Country.

Philadelphia Eagles: Outside of Carson Wentz’s injury, not much

This Eagles season has been special. It’s simply not every year you start out 12-2 with a real good chance to clinch the No. 1 seed in Week 16.

Even with Wentz out, this team still have a legitimate chance to make a Super Bowl run. Their chances are obviously significant worse without Wentz, but hey, who knows.

For more, check out the entire entry at Bleeding Green Nation.

Los Angeles Rams: The waiting was the hardest part

We had to see a 10-win Cleveland Browns team and an 11-win Jacksonville Jaguars team in 2007. We had to see the Oakland Raiders turn things around last year. We had to constantly look upward at the San Francisco 49ers during their three-year run to the NFC Championship or the Arizona Cardinals who had periods of success under former HC Ken Whisenhunt and current HC Bruce Arians or the Seattle Seahawks who have consistently been a thorn in our sides since 2010.

Year after year after year, we waited. And hoped. And something worth celebrating has finally arrived.

I wouldn’t change anything except for how long we had to wait for it to get here.

For more, check out the entire entry at Turf Show Times.

Josh McCown, the one who got away

Maybe McCown has a future career as the love interest in a Hallmark Christmas movie.

Cleveland Browns: Besides everything? Letting McCown walk

McCown was still under contract with the Browns for 2018, but the Browns opted to let him go. He went on to have a great season by his standards for the New York Jets before succumbing to his annual injury bug. McCown had it rough last year after his injury, but the team could’ve kept him in camp this year to evaluate his health. If they had, there’s no doubt that he would’ve out-shined Cody Kessler, Kevin Hogan, and DeShone Kizer in the quarterback room. Brock Osweiler would’ve been cut right away instead of dragging that mess out for so long. I’d venture to guess that Cleveland would have a handful of wins right now too.

For more, check out the entire entry at Dawgs by Nature.

Denver Broncos: They should have signed an established journeyman QB like Josh McCown

Brock Osweiler - a journeyman quarterback now - was the only quarterback who looked like a functional NFL player out there, but the team never really seemed interested in keeping him as the starter. If they had brought in some other journeyman before training camp, maybe they would have liked that guy more.

Who knows. It’s a lot of woulda, coulda, shoulda, but a functional journeyman guy like a Josh McCown or something, probably would have guided this team into a playoff hunt instead of an eight-game losing streak.

For more, check out the entire entry at Mile High Report.

And all the rest

Like stocking stuffers, here are the ones that don’t fit neatly into a box.

Atlanta Falcons: All the little mistakes that cost them games

I’d erase the penalties which erased the interceptions which might have made a difference in the outcome of multiple games this year. I’d delete the interceptions that came off receivers bobbling and bumbling what should have been obvious catches. I’d terminate Julio Jones’ drops, especially the wide open one in the end zone against the Panthers that might have won that game. And I’d definitely send Steve Sarkisian’s decision to run a jet sweep on 4th and goal against the Patriots into the void.

For more, check out the entire entry at The Falcoholic.

Buffalo Bills: Rick Dennison was the wrong choice for offensive coordinator

Buffalo had Cordy Glenn, Richie Incognito, Eric Wood, John Miller, Jordan Mills and LeSean McCoy in 2016 and 2017 along with Tyrod Taylor. But out goes Anthony Lynn and in comes Dennison and the Bills offense drops to 23rd in scoring (down six points a game) and touchdowns. Instead of 5.3 yards per carry and 164.4 yards per game on the ground, Buffalo is averaging 4.2 yards per carry and 129.1 yards per game on the ground. So why are the same Bills players gaining a yard less on every carry and 35 rushing yards less every game?

Offensive coordinator Rick Dennison came in and changed everything about the offense, but especially changing the blocking assignments and the running game. He turned a successful offense into a bad one.

For more, check out the entire entry at Buffalo Rumblings.

Cincinnati Bengals: The youth movement should have started earlier

The Bengals started the season using none of their new young players. They relied on essentially a hollowed out version of last year’s squad to try and win. It did not go well. If I could change one thing it would be to infuse the youth of this roster into the starting lineup sooner and have prepared them better to succeed.

For more, check out the entire entry at Cincy Jungle.

Miami Dolphins: They didn’t start their season in Week 1 like they were supposed to

According to multiple reports back before Week 1, the Dolphins and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers both asked the league to allow the teams to play their season opening game in a neutral field, rather than postpone it until the shared bye week in Week 11, to avoid the dangers of Hurricane Irma. The league decided that moving the game to the bye week was the best option. That should not have been the answer.

The Dolphins (and Buccaneers) had to play 16 straight weeks this season because of that decision. Miami had to move out to California and spend a week there before playing their Week 2 game against the Los Angeles Chargers. The Dolphins did not have a true home game until Week 5, having to play in London in Week 4, a game which counted as a home game.

For more, check out the entire entry at The Phinsider.

New York Jets: Relying too much on veteran players to help win games

I don’t mind winning 5 to 6 games, but if I could change one thing about this Jets season it would be the wins resulting more from young players developing into foundational pieces than veterans having career years.

For more, check out the entire entry at Gang Green Nation.

Oakland Raiders: John Pagano should’ve been the defensive coordinator all along

John Pagano has pressed all the right buttons since taking Ken Norton Jr.’s place after week 11.

Under Norton, the Raiders gave up 368.2 yards and 24.8 points per game. Since Pagano has taken over, the Raiders have given up 304.75 yards and 19.25 points per game. Right now, that 368.2 yards per game would be good enough for No. 28 in the NFL.

If the Raiders had given up 304.75 yards per game all year, they would be No. 4 in the league. Their points per game under Norton would have them at No. 27 right now and if Pagano had the defense from the beginning of the season, they would be at No. 5.

For more, check out the entire entry at Silver and Black Pride.

Pittsburgh Steelers: They wish they could’ve toned down the drama

While I would love to change the amount of drama this team has experienced both on and off the field, it has done a tremendous job proving the mental toughness of this football team. Kudos to Mike Tomlin and company for keeping the team focused on the task at hand, especially when the outside distractions would have ripped apart an average team.

For more, check out the entire entry at Behind the Steel Curtain.

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flauntpage · 6 years

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Eight Is Enough! Five Takeaways from Penguins 5, Flyers 4

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There’s nothing left to say.

Seriously. Until this Flyers team makes the changes it needs to make, watching them play is going to be torture.

It’s like being tied to a chair and forced to watch the same rerun of a bad 1980s sitcom repeatedly.

You know, one episode of Charles in Charge was enough for a lifetime, but watching the same episode over and over again is sadistic.

For the last eight games, and for 16 of the 24 games played so far this season, that’s what it’s been like watching the Flyers.

They have lost two-thirds of their games, which is pretty dreadful. And nothing ticks me off like broadcasters being forced to call this eight-game losing streak something other than what it is.

While technically correct, this isn’t an eight-game losing streak. That would suggest there was a result in there that while it wasn’t a win, also was not a loss (namely, a tie). But since those don’t exist and the ultimate option in an NHL game is to win it or lose it, then what we have here is a losing streak.

But it is exactly this mentality that permeates throughout this organization right now. Sanitize everything. Make everything seem better than it really is.

Hey – they’ve gotten at least one point in eight of their last 11 games.

I’m pretty sure after the abuse he took for mentioning points in 7-of-10 games following the most recent loss to the New York Islanders, Dave Hakstol wasn’t going to go that route again following last night’s loss to Pittsburgh, but, instead he gave us this:

“We have to finish one of these. There’s nothing more to be said. Night after night we are in position and we were again tonight.”

Yep. That simple. Just finish, boys.

It made me want to highlight two of my favorite tweets from the night:

Live look in at Hakstol now. http://pic.twitter.com/eU4X5zLWqM

— Rich Lee (@RichLeeNamed) November 28, 2017

@AntSanPhilly @RealGlenMacnow #Flyers get a point!! So that’s 8 points in 11 games? Right Coach?? http://pic.twitter.com/YU16sIp62A

— Earl Sullivan (@esull9) November 28, 2017

And yes, they were sent to me almost simultaneously.

Hakstol’s quote would be fine if the Flyers had only lost say three straight, all in overtime. Problem is, when you blow your fifth two-goal lead of the season – and fourth on this eight-game losing streak – it’s not just about not finishing, it’s about not doing a lot of things – not protecting a lead, not taking dumb penalties, not sitting back and letting the other team take it to you.

But I’ve said all this before. It’s as if these Takeaways are on perennial repeat.

And the longer it goes without change, the more damning it is, not just for a coach, who is overmatched at this level, but for the general manager and the entire organization.

I texted with someone I became close with while working for the Flyers who still works there. Part of our exchange was this person saying, “It’s ugly right now…. things aren’t quite the same around here these days.”

That last part was referencing an interjection by me where I indicated the likes of Ed Snider or Bob Clarke would never have accepted this kind of repetitive failure.

Alas, this is the new hockey world in which we live and in which the Flyers are a doormat or an afterthought after generations of being one of the game’s elite franchises.

Sad.

To the takeaways… I guess.

1) Finding ways to lose

As I mentioned, it was another blown two-goal lead. This time, the Flyers actually gave up the lead in a span of 39 seconds, and then after retaking the lead, gave up a tying goal to force overtime in the final minute or so of the third period. And, after that, made a panic play that gave Pittsburgh a power play in OT and, well, Sidney Crosby took it from there.

These things can’t happen repeatedly.

It’s a sign of a team with zero confidence and with no gameplan to stem the tide.

Looking at advanced stats last night, the Penguins were obviously the better team, with a Corsi For percentage of 59.22, which is pretty high.

But look at the game flow and pay particular attention to the third period:

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That’s a spike that you don’t normally see in a game anywhere. It’s what we call an outlier. The Penguins Corsi For percentage in the third period was 80%.

That’s not a typo. It was 80%. That means that off all the shots attempted in the third period, the Pens were responsible for 80% of them.

It’s an absurd number and indicative of the fact that the Flyers had no answers – zero – for what the Penguins were doing.

They were in survival mode, and although they almost pulled it off, they didn’t. They can tell you they weren’t trying to sit back, but if not, then it’s not certain what they were trying to do.

Nor am I sure what Hakstol was doing with his line matchups at the end of the game.

After Michael Raffl gave the Flyers a 4-3 lead (more on that later), Hakstol curiously turned to a line of Dale Weise, Nolan Patrick and Wayne Simmonds and a defensive pairing of Brandon Manning and Shayne Gostisbehere to protect his one-goal lead in the final minutes.

Not many of the Flyers were positive players when you look at their Corsi For Relative percentage (CFRel%), but they did have some guys on the plus side of the ledger – seven skaters in fact.

However, none of those five guys were on that list. As a matter of fact, not only were they not on the list, but Manning (-13.56) was second worst in the game, Patrick (-11.39) was fourth-worst, Simmonds (-7.57) was sixth worst and Weise (-6.57) was seventh worst. Only Ghost was palatable (-1.51), and even he was still negative.

This group was caught in their own end for the better part of two minutes, couldn’t get the puck out of the zone, and the Penguins created several great chances before Brian Elliott made a flashy glove save on Crosby to finally allow the Flyers to make a change.

However, the faceoff was in the Flyers’ end. They lost the draw and seconds later the score was tied.

Hakstol HAS to know that combination of players isn’t the kind you want out there protecting a lead.

If he doesn’t… then Houston we have a problem.

2) Bad Coaching, Bad veterans

Not only did Hakstol’s decision with that line create a self-inflicted conundrum, but so did a couple other decisions he made.

First was re-inserting Jori Lehtera and Weise into the lineup in place of Taylor Leier and Jordan Weal.

Weal has not played well of late, and his ice time and role was diminishing considerably over the last several games. You could see it coming – heck I did here in takeaway No. 3 from last Wednesday’s game.

But, Leier scored against the Islanders. He has provided good jump and energy on the fourth line. He has the ability to skate with a fast team like Pittsburgh that neither Weise nor Lehtera do.

I’d rather the Flyers keep Leier in the lineup, waive one of those veterans, and call up Mike Vecchione and give him a shot on the fourth line. He has to be better than Lethtera right? Lehtera played all of 7:31 in the game and was a third-worst-on-the-team -11.45% in CFRel%.

I get that Weal needs to find his game, but that doesn’t mean Hakstol has to slog the lineup with veteran players who can’t play.

Part of this is on the GM, too. He has to recognize that what he’s giving the coach to work with is substandard.

Trusting the veterans is not always the right option either. He mentioned a veteran reward of sorts for Manning being on the ice in overtime in Friday’s loss to the Islanders.

Trotting out a more veteran lineup didn’t work against Pittsburgh either.

The mistakes that are costing the team are rarely being committed by rookies. It’s veterans making them.

It was Gostisbehere who abandoned his player in overtime in the loss in New York. It was Jake Voracek who committed the same sin in the OT loss to the Isles in Philly.

Voracek then made the panic clear for the delay of game penalty that gave the Penguins the overtime power play yesterday.

Claude Giroux made an error that led to the game-winner in the OT loss to Calgary.

If the guys you are counting on to provide veteran leadership are making the self-inflicted wounds, then why is it that the notion of more veterans in the lineup will equate to improved play?

It doesn’t. It’s a fallacy. At this point, I’d rather see the Flyers lose with the youngsters on the ice than with the same mistakes from players who have been in the league for years.

Another coaching blunder occurred with Hakstol once again misusing his challenge.

After a goal by Patric Hornqvist went to the replay official and was allowed, Hakstol decided to challenge if it was goaltender interference. It wasn’t. Frankly, it wasn’t even that close. But even if you want to argue that it’s 50/50, is it worth burning the challenge there and not saving it for a more critical moment in the game?

Instead, on Jake Guentzel’s tying goal at the end of the third period, one which goalie Brian Elliott thought he was interfered with, Hakstol couldn’t challenge because he had already burned it.

I don’t know what his challenge record is, but just quick memory suggests it isn’t good – and it’s likely hurt the team a couple times.

3) Best five goals allowed performance ever?

I’m being a little facetious here. But Elliott was under fire all night. He made a career-high 47 saves as he personally tried to will the Flyers to victory.

With the exception of the first goal of the game by Guentzel, where he may have been off his angle slightly and got beaten over the waffle pad, Elliott was sensational.

All of the other Penguins goals were on crazy bounces or redirects.

Hornqvist kicked the puck, and then hit it twice in mid-air before it popped over Elliott.

Bryan Rust scored on a breakaway after Elliott originally stoned him, the puck took a crazy hop back off Rust’s stick shaft and fluttered over Elliott to tie the score.

Guentzel’s tying goal went in off his glove and he likely interfered with Elliott on the play. and Crosby’s game-winner was a redirect of a Kris Letang shot.

In between, Elliott saved the Flyers bacon more than once.

He is the most hard-luck goalie in his last seven starts and one relief appearance, having gone 0-2-5. And yet, in those eight games, he has arguably been the Flyers best player.

4) Raffl rolling

Raffl is one guy who has looked pretty good for the Flyers in this horrible stretch. He gave the Flyers what appeared to be the game-winning goal before all went to hell in the final minutes.

And it was a thing of beauty:

Raffl steals the puck and powers past Kessel for a gorgeous goal! http://pic.twitter.com/RN9IC762NO

— Sons of Penn (@SonsofPenn) November 28, 2017

Raffl is a max effort player, which is why he was still being counted on even without any points through the first 21 games of the season. He also had an assist last night, and now has three points in his last three games.

Maybe Steve Coates was right, he just needed one and then they’d start coming in bunches.

He’s one of the few Flyers who is playing a well-rounded game right now

5) Loose Pucks

The Flyers have been outscored 14-2 in the third period and overtime during this eight-game losing streak – more evidence that the system is broken.

Sean Couturier scored this goal:

Coots makes it 3-1 with an assist from Provorov's skate after a Penguins turnover in their own zone. http://pic.twitter.com/c2GhH20tFO

— Chris Jastrzembski (@CFJastrzembski) November 28, 2017

That makes 14 goals this season for Couturier. The most he’s ever scored in a full season is 15. He could match that tonight while it’s still November. I’m not sure there’s been a better two-way forward in the NHL over the season’s first two months than Couturier.

Andrew MacDonald returned to the lineup as the Flyers sent Samuel Morin back to the Lehigh Valley Phantoms in the AHL. While I would have kept Morin here and waived both Weise and Lehtera and made Manning the No. 7 defenseman, I don;t look at this as the Flyers playing MacDonald over a rookie. It wasn’t the best game to have MacDonald try to get back up to speed – against on e of the league’s fastest teams. MacDonald looked a step behind, took a penalty that led to a Pittsburgh goal and had a couple of turnovers that were covered by good goaltending by Elliott. MacDonald will be fine – especially playing with Ivan Provorov – but this was certainly not a great game for him.

I’m not convinced Hakstol goes back to Michal Neuvirth in goal tonight even though it’s a back-to-back and Elliott faced a ton of shots last night. I just think that with as well as Elliott’s played, as much of an enigma as Neuvirth’s been and with three days off after tonight, that Elliott just might get the nod again.

Eight Is Enough! Five Takeaways from Penguins 5, Flyers 4 published first on http://ift.tt/2pLTmlv

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