Tumgik
#holy shit get vaccinated bitch
transgendertails · 5 months
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I- uhh- no?
Marcella didn’t die from the vaccination, she died from the uncleaned needle because it was fucking 1915, so people were stupid.
STOP USING ANN AND ANDY AS ANTI-VAX SYMBOLS! (Idk if they still do this, just wanted to point out the blatant lying here)
PS: I’m pretty sure Marcella died after the patent was filed
PPS: YES SHE DID! SHE DIED NOVEMBER 8, JUST OVER 2 MONTHS AFTER THE PATENT WAS FILED!
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moon-ursidae · 1 year
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TLOU HBO EPISODE 2 SPOILERS
general thoughts and shit are going here in a list! see ya’ll on the other side!
got a late start bc i was w a friend i hadn’t seen in a long time.
ANYWAY
oh shit okay jakarta this is where it pretty much started yea?
yuuuup there’s military men
this is so fucking horrifying bro
the slow buildup is so fucking good
i’m excited to see what neil does w this episode bc we know the dude can direct the shit out of a game haha
OH MY GOD WHEN SHE MADE THE INCISION IN THE LEG AND YOU COULD SEE THE GROWTH??? GROSS BUT AWESOME
AND IN THE MOUTH?? STOMACH CHURNING. SO AWESOME.
oh my god wait so the u.s. government probably got the idea to bomb after they did in jakarta?? CRAZY.
i feel so sorry for this woman. she’s absolutely horrified. these poor people in general dude. jesus christ.
the cold opens so far have REALLY set the tone well for the episodes and series as a whole
if anyone skips this intro, i simply do not trust them
BELLIE!!!
this is fucking gorgeous
DIRECTED BY NEIL DRUCKMANN
joel and tess sitting there like parents the next morning after you miss curfew💀💀
“there’s not gonna be anything bad in here?” “just you.” “oh, funny.” THEMMMMMMM AAAHHHHH
his hand :(
anna torv is so pretty
LMAO the difference in what they’re eating
“you must’ve heard that he wants to shoot you.” AND THE WAY HE DOESN’T EVEN FUCKING BLINK
bella is literally ellie you bitches that doubted them better EAT GRASS
“whatever happened to me is the key to finding a vaccine”
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LIKE THE GAME HAHA
“fuck you man i didn’t ask for this” !!!!!!!!!!!!
“if she so much as twitches” AND SHE STARTS JOKING HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAA
bella is ellie bro
joel is so over this shit lmao
“jesus fine i’ll just have to throw a fuckin sandwich at them.” I LOVE HERRRR
omg joel moving the heavy ass furniture HAHAHAHA
THIS IS FUCKING GORGEOUS
THE MUSIC IS SO GOOD
OMG ALL HER PINS ON HER BAG 🥹
pedro looks so goddamn fucking good my god
omg i remember seeing bts of this SOOOO long ago this is crazy
she lied about riley to tess :(
“mom, dad, boyfriend?” “i’m an orphan and uhh nooooo” so subtle and so good.
THE MUSIC FROM THE GAME AHH it’s changed slightly but it’s the same basically
HE IS SOOOOOOOOOOOO ATTRACTIVE
sorry haha
THESE PRACTICAL SETS ARE CRAZZZYYYYYYYY
HOTEL???
“i don’t know how to swim.” “seriously?” “you think we have pools in the QZ?” “no, smartass. i mean-“ *jumps in to show her that it’s shallow* “i don’t know how i was supposed to know that” LMAOOO I LOVE THEM SO FUCKING MUCH ALREADY
also it’s not the last of us without wading in some gross water
THE FRONT DESK BIT HAHAHA
I LOVE HER SO MUCH
“you’re a weird kid” “you’re a weird kid”
proceeds to get fucking jumpscared by a skeleton and joel jumps to see what’s up
AHHHHH🥺
him reaching to help her up and them both letting go as soon as possible but joel lingers there and looks at his hand🥲
probably bc of the whole infection thing but also 🥺
guys if you have to take the elevator shaft DON’T.
JOEL GRABBING HER HOOD TO MOVE HER💀
BOOSTING HER UP TO FIND A WAY AROUND HAHAHAHAHAHA JSBSJSBSJSBSJHDHDHDHSHSBWKDBK
NOW THIS IS A FAITHFUL ADAPTATION
omg now they’re left alone together HAHA
“where’d you learn to do that?” “the circus” AND HE JUST LOOKS SO EXASPERATED HAHA
i love that ellie is so inquisitive about who joel is in both the game and series now. i would be doing the same if i was traveling with this man i met less than 24 hours ago, but it just hits so much harder knowing what joel’s been through yknow?
him stopping her immediately from asking personal questions bc he doesn’t wanna get attached and doesn’t want her to get attached either bc that would be harder for him AHHHHHHHHHHHH
“how long do infected live?” “oh i thought you went to school” IN SUCH A SASSY WAY I LOVE HIM
he looks so fucking good.
“what about that guy last night?” THE WAY HE LOOKS AT HER KSHAKSHSKV
saved by the bell joel haha
HOLY FUCK. THAT’S ALL INFECTED????
i like that this is how they’re introducing the tendrils more. tess is telling both ellie and the audience how they work
“museum.” YYYYEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAA BABBYYYYYY
BUT ALSO FUUUUUUUUUUCK NO.
these practical sets are INSANE
i fucking love how they’re so smart with each other already
OH FUCK IT’S CLICKER TIME BABYYYY
the way they’re trying to get her to shut up lmao
this is bad. they are making so much noise without making any noise and i’m STRESSED
that’s so many bodies holy fuck
OH MY GOD IT’S THE ROOM FROM THE TRAILER
LEMME SEE THOSE CLICKER PRACTICAL EFFECTS BABY
THE WAY I JUST GOT CHILLS DOWN MY FUCKING SPINE TO MY GODDAMN TOES JUST HEARING THE CLICKING SOUNDS
OH. MY. GOD. THE WAY THEY MOVE. THE WAY THEY SOUND. I AM SO SCARED.
OH FUCK OH SHIT OH FUCK
IT’S SO MUCH BIGGER THAN JOEL OH MY GOD
RUN?? JOEL SKAHSKSBOWBSLWBSKSBE
FUCK TESS IS ON HER OWN. NOOOOO
THIS IS ALSO SO ACCURATE TO GAMEPLAY BC YOU CAN JUST HIDE FROM THEM AGAIN AFTER YOU ATTRACT THEM
THE WAY THAT I’M SCARED TO BREATHE OR MOVE
OH MY GOD THEY’RE FUCKING HORRIFYING
THE SILENCE TO THE CLICKER BEING SO CLOSE AND SO LOUD???????
THIS IS SO CRAZY
OH MY GOD IT’S ONE OF THE FIRST FINAL SHOT THAT THEY POSTED ON SOCIALS
FUCKING JUMPED OVER THE COUNTER???
AHHHHH THIS IS SO SCARY
PLEASE NO TENDRIL I WILL THROW UP
TESS!
tess…
“twisted ankle, but yea.” AND ELLIE GETTING BIT AGAIN AND SAYING “i mean if it was gonna happen to one of us.” AND TESS’S FACE OH MY GOD PLEEEAAASSSSEEEEEEE
THE BLOOD ON HER JACKET :(
OH MY GOD IT’S THE FUCKING SCENE THE PLANK CONNECTING BUILDINGS AND THE SHOT AHHHHH
this is another way i KNOW neil directed this
the way joel is immediately tending to tess :(
and how she’s snappy w him bc he’s being pessimistic, as per usual, and she’s dealing with A LOT rn
he looks kinda hurt dude AHHH
THE SCENE!!!! THE SCENE!!!!!!!
THE SAME MUSIC!!!!!!!!!
i’m crying.
“is it everything you hoped for?” “jury’s still out. but man you can’t deny that view.”
THE WAY HE LOOKS AT HERRRRR
AND HE IS THE LAST ON THE ROOF AND LOOKS AT THE FUCKING WATCH AFTER LOOKING AT THE VIEW MORE😭😭😭
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I’M SO EMOTIONAL
and the frame stays on the ladder with the capitol in the background like the game 🥺
omg the way tess is so far ahead of joel and ellie AHHHHHHH
him checking on her arm to see what’s up AHHH
oh fuck. it’s the capitol building.
the way his paternal instincts have already kicked in i can’t. the way he moved ellie from the bodies UGH.
tess’s desperation is so palpable from the moment she stormed inside. anna torv is fucking fierce and i love her.
“that’s not my fucking home!” uh oh.
me during this whole fucking scene:
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oh my god.
ALL THE FUCKING RUNNERS UR JOKING
PLEASE DON’T LET HER BE FUCKING MAULED TO DEATH I WILL RIOT
“save who you can save.” I WILL GO INTO THIS IN A SEPERATE POST BC KAHAKSB
the way he DRAGS her out of there.
oh my god. the way she’s left standing there but she takes those last few breaths to recenter herself. FUCK man.
PLEASE DON’T LET HER BE MAULED.
this is almost worse oh my god.
the way she’s frozen in fear oh my god
the tendrils will never NOT be disgusting.
jesus christ.
i fucking LOVE that final shot of ellie. i will also discuss further.
THAT’S IT??? MORE PLEASE OH MY GOD.
i gotta wait a week for bill and frank??? DAMNIT.
IT’S ELLIE’S T-SHIRT!!!!!!
the part where joel is talking to bill looks like a flashback! he’s got a lot less gray goin on. i’m excited to see more of their relationship!
BTS TIME!
YEEESSSSS CLICKER BTS
barrie gower popped the FUCK off holy shit
SEE. THEY PUT HELLA THOUGHT AND RESEARCH INTO MAKING THE CHANGE TO TENDRILS.
FUUUCK man tess was literally about to start her redemption and she finally found hope :(
“neil understands how to create fear” YEA HE FUCKIN DOES GODDAMN
okay! holy fuck! i’m emotional! AHH!
i’m gonna go think about this shit and make seperate posts for my thoughts later bc it’s almost 3am haha
fucking amazing job to the cast and crew again. holy fucking shit.
i’m obsessed.
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thesoulofasurvivor · 1 year
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The Last of Us Season 1, Episode 2
Just finished watching the episode and I, it was literally so fucking fantastic WHAT EVEN ARE WORDS to explain how much I loved it seriously if ya'll ain't watching, you are missing out on some of the best quality shit on television I SWEAR
tonight we got our first look at the clickers and fuck. it felt like I was in the game again, that shit is fucking terrifying.
SPOILERS BELOW. DO NOT CLICK "keep reading" IF YOU HAVE NOT WATCHED EPISODE 2 OF THE LAST OF US
I loved the opening. I just love having that extra content of the outbreak, how it began, how people reacted. The utter fear on that poor woman's face... And the absolute defeat on the man's face when she broke the news to him. There is no medicine, there is no vaccine. It's awful, I don't even want to begin to think about the dread these people felt, knowing that they were going to lose no matter what they did or didn't do.
I knew I was going to cry but damn, that shit gave me a headache. Like the kind of headache you get when you're sad........ a sad-ache. Yes, that. I just, Tess, like I just, I love Tess so much and this goddamn show made me love her even more and they just. I mean I knew it was coming but damn, it so sucks that she dies.
I personally LOVED the changes they made, and how they fit in certain things from later in the game that were between Joel and Ellie to being with Tess. Like the hotel thing, I loved that. I love that they REALLY drive home that doing this whole "mission" was Tess' literal dying wish, that really hit hard to see her so distraught like that.
The way she died is different than the game given that when Joel kills an infected... What was it?? A runner?? Some fuckin ugly runners??? Anyways, that horde of infected we seen earlier in the episode came running to the capitol building and Tess is the one to (help) stop the horde while Joel and Ellie made a run for it. And uhhhh... Should we, talk about Tess kissing the uh, the infected? That was disgusting... Still confused on whether it was supposed to be a runner or a stalker. In the game, runners don't really have that much fungal growth, especially on the face, they retain majority of their human features. It's stalkers that begin to look so deformed. Maybe it was just a runner between stages? Or just some really fucking ugly runner either way it was gross.
I think it was pretty cool to have had Ellie get scratched / bitten, and using that to compare to Tess. Seeing that hers is clearly really bad vs Ellie's that is literally just like as if it's a normal cut.
THOSE FUCKING CLICKERS? Send me to my grave MY GOD spot on, just perfection, holy shit like they absolutely smashed that nail on the head with them clickers. Wow, that was horrifying. Really gave us a whole new outlook on just how dangerous these things are, how much they can hear. Ellie literally just breathed and the clicker was like WHAT YOU SAY BITCH, goddamn.
Joel and Ellie's little bantering back and forth? LOVE IT, love it all so much. The awkward tension is perfect.
We got more lore for the newly introduced "tendrils," the infected are all connected in some way. "If you step on one patch of fungus, you can wake infected from long ways away and they'll know where you are." That's honestly... Horrifying, and an easy way for the infected to gather in hordes, making them even more dangerous.
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transmascrage · 2 years
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Literally my mom will see me being relaxed and think "How can I ruin his mood?"
Today she was mad that I don't have a job yet. She screamed and yelled that I needed to help the family but kept using the example of gas prices, as if I caused inflation??
That they couldn't maintain me forever, as if I'm not 20 and only finished school last year, because she started working at 15, the poor little meow meow.
And that one of my sister's friends, who's 16, got a job, as if I didn't get my first job at 17 during a pandemic.
And how at that job, "they hire normal-looking people too, even fat girls!!!" literally what are you saying. Say it with your chest. Don't fucking hide what you're trying to say.
She fucking knows I'm trans, I've told her everything but "I am trans", but she'll still call me and my sister "girls" and imply I'm a girl who just needs to get over her stupid ideas and start shaving. Which I fucking won't. I hate shaving and I get super painful microcuts that bleed like arteries every time.
And it's funny she says that because when I started to grow leg hair she refused to let me shave. And I have A LOT of body hair and it's really dark so I'd have to shave every two days if I wanted to not look hairy as fuck.
Then when I started to be insecure because the kids in class would make fun of me when I wore shorts she finally took me to get waxed and then laser treatment. And I don't know if I have a lower pain threshold than normal but holy shit it's so fucking painful. I felt like I was being shot. Meanwhile, she insists it doesn't hurt that much and I'm being dramatic. Which she did when I was scared of vaccines too.
Every time I'm doing well she managed to send me into a depressive episode and I fucking refuse to be sad this time, tomorrow I'm going to my first concert and it's gonna be my 5th-6th anniversary of realizing I'm trans.
Every goddamn year she'll sit me down and yell at me for a while that I need to do something better. Used to be my grades, but I guess she's gotta find something else now that I'm in uni.
God. But now that my sister's in therapy she treats her soooo much better, but she's so used to taking shit out on me she can't help it I guess. And when I told my sister I was depressed for 7 years, since I was 13, or at least had almost constant depressive episodes, she started crying and said my depression had to have been minor as opposed to her major depression because she had it sooooooooooooo much worse.
The source of her trauma? Watching my dad almost punch me and me attempting suicide in the same night. I wonder who else could have been traumatized by that.
And now I'm doing better and it's the first time since I was a child, because of my mom's constant fear-mongering and I'm suspecting ADHD (so a combo of RSD, which literally made me feel like I was getting stabbed in my chest, and just being too ND for my classmates), that I'm not anxious and it's still never good enough.
Speaking of ADHD, I finally had the courage to tell my therapist I think I have it and she gave me a condescending smile and went "Oh, that would be a nice excuse to not improve, right?" fuck you bitch I thought I could trust you but you won't even take me seriously.
Fuck everyone in this goddamn family and this goddamn country.
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bonesandthebees · 2 years
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ok sd anon with the Official Long Message Reply
ohio conceptually is so fucking weird but turns out my fifth grade best friend who moved away after a year is also here so we have been hanging out so much it’s so great she came w me to a few poetry open mics
also oh god how was covid experience i still haven’t gotten it knock on wood
fully do not understand how i have gotten bitches. how. what’s happening. i made rock candy w two other interns a few days ago and we threw a couple packs of pedialyte in there
also also ! bigger vodka person than tequila
also thank you!!!! i’m out here for an engineering internship i actually gave my final presentation to senior leadership yesterday! plant manager + every department head were there to hear the interns present abt their projects and oh my fucking god i thought questions and comments were just a formality THEY WERE NOT. my thing was a software data organizational structure to optimize pulling up relevant equipment data (eg boiler pressure) bc previously you needed a very specific code to find Anything now you can look up vague phrases and find what you want. this system is my baby. i have categorized over 1600 pieces of data and associated them to the correct equipment and system.
ANYWAYS at one point a guy was like okay so a) how is this not already implemented everywhere and b) how do we turn this into a [company] global engineering standard. i am in Shock. also i think they hired me part time over the school year to do the same kind of work i’m doing right now! did not think i would end up basically a software consultant. also i am 20 why the fuck am i getting responsibility.
how has your summer been??? i feel like i have talked in Detail about mine lmao how have the summer classes been? i’m taking a physics one online rn it’s annoying af. did you take that sf trip??? do you know what you want to do for work? also you’re in a good city for it! sd is one of the two big biochem biotech hubs aside from boston! tbh i’m probably going to end up coming back there in the end bc i’m biochem engineering
also cause the company i’m interning with takes 150 interns Total bc they said they put effort into us So they can hire us, not so they can train us to work for other people so. basically i almost certainly have a guaranteed next year internship and hopefully basically guaranteed full time job when i grad!! number one engineering internship in the country <3
yoooo open poetry mics that's so fun!!! also wild as fuck to run into your old friend like that, we love fate playing funny little games with us. so glad you guys got to reconnect!!
covid sucked but thankfully wasn't super serious. i was so feverish and out of it for the first day, then it gradually got better day by day. i'd say the only concerning thing was when i had an episode of super severe chest pain like my second night i was sick?? i mean i had the same kind of chest pain the day after i got the second dose of the vaccine, and I was fine after that so I didn't do anything about it? but yeah that was definitely a scary moment of oh god should I go to a hospital... nah i'm probably fine
pedialyte?? in rock candy???? was that good??? also i'm very happy for you for getting bitches but also i'm jealous wtf when will it be my turn i just want a girlfriend
so fair!! tbh I like vodka better than tequila too. while I like the taste of tequila in cocktails more, I like the kind of drunk I get from vodka better. it's uhh cleaner I guess? a cleaner kind of drunk if that makes sense
also holy shit that's so cool?? you sound SO smart sd anon goddamn good for you. that honestly sounds like a super useful system, and i can't believe you got a job!! that's fucking amazing!! you're doing such big things, that's so cool honestly. I'm so happy your engineering stuff seems to be working out for you <33
my summer has been good!! my uni has two rounds of summer classes, so for my first round I finished the classes and got an A in one and a B in the other so we win these :) now i'm on my second round and I had to read a super dense research paper today about synthesizing malaria drugs and one of the questions was like "use what you learned in biochemistry and molecular biology to explain the nomenclature of these mutation names" and I took both of those classes a full year ago so I just fucking blue screened
the non school parts of my summer have been alright! mostly I just hung out with my best friend whenever I was down in SD for classes, and she also drove up to LA a few times. we were trying to spend as much time as possible together because she got a job with the NIH in DC so she's moving there for 2 years. she left about a week ago and i miss her sm already, but I'm really glad we got to spend a lot of time together before she moved. she's shown me so many great bars in SD (including the one I recommended to you!), definitely gonna use that knowledge for the future
also no we did not take the sf trip it just didn't work out :(
no I don't know what I want to do for work aaaa I wanna do something writing related but idk I might just get a gig as a lab tech for a bit since I have all the qualifications for it thanks to my ~bio degree~ and my lab experience. just so i have something to do while i figure out how to break into the writing industry. (I need to figure something out though my mom desperately wants me to work for her and while the fashion industry is cool I really do not wanna work for my mother again. I did it for one summer already and that was enough) (the work itself is fine my mom is just more of a hardass on me compared to a normal employee bc I'm her kid lol)
omg biochem engineering!! another friend of mine who was also biochem engineering is moving to boston bc she got accepted to a PhD program over there right out of undergrad. I was so impressed
god im just. adulthood. please. i'm not ready fuck.
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gh0sti3-sm1l3 · 2 years
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so like
are we gonna talk abt this tweet
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bECAUSE WE GON HAVE TO SOONER OR LATER
redemptioN? KIKIMORA?
honestly I love kiki, she's so cute and i hate that i love her because hunter is my BOY, but yknow, i can have multiple favorites
kiki is like so unhinged rn that I just NEED to know whether or not that call w her mum is gonna effect her
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legends is back bitches! and yall know what that means.... im back to my bullshit that no one reads but its fun to comment anyway-
also i just got my second vaccine shot so my arm is kinda heavy and who knows if ill be able to concentrate fully on the ep~ this will be fun!!! lets go!
tired sheriff is a mood hope he doesnt turn into a big asshole cause lets be real hes a straight white man from the 20s texas hes going to be a little bit of an asshole
eeyyy they remembered about the portal!! so they didnt fuck up too badly! yet... and i was right when i had said they were going to pull a "its out of battery!" on us.... yay plotlines! i guess
wtf nate that was trully fucked up.... the man literally just "died" and his gf is out here mourning and you say that????? oh i hope they dont make zari and astra fight about john being gone, they could have a really nice friendship sharing the pain and supporting each other since he meant a lot to them both in different ways...
tarazi siblings, avalance AND esperastra being like that to each other??? i cant ;-; this is too soft pls give me more
of course the time bureau had a rule for every type of situation and of course ava and gary memorized them all... also yes to team makeover! and notice that sara never said straight about nate.... *i am looking*
dammit rory.... also i didnt miss that little zava interaction i love them theyre so cute... anyway everyone is gay because look at how theyre all sitting... no straight group of friends sit like that...
GLORIA BEST MOM i love her pls dont let anything bad happen to her ever again spooner deserves to have this time with her mami SHES TOO GOOD FOR THIS WORLD PLS GUYS DONT LET HER BE TAKEN... astra no pls wait shit LETS FUCKING GO thats hot NOOOO ASTRA
oh shit the feds! hide! not in the same place you idiots goddammit... a magic key that teleports you to the mansion in its own pocket dimension? cool! ITS IN HELL???? HOLY SHIT JOHN WHY??
lets go rob some banks!!!! every avalance interaction adds a year to my lifespan and i love it! "you love lists" *disgruntled nerd noises*
DONT BREAK THE FOURTH WALL BEHRAD! or should i say stop breaking the ceiling ;) love that woman and how everyone was very supportive of the robbery lmao
and true legends fashion they fucked things up this time for the worse!!
yes behrad you broke ava.... THE SERIAL KILLER STAN IN AVA HAS BEEN AWOKEN LETS FUCKING GO!!!! yes its your time to shine ava you go you funky lesbian!
gloria my beloved ;-; YES GIVE US ASTRA HAVING A MOTHER FIGURE SHE NEEDS IT my esperastra crumbs im not ready ;-; oh no the best friend hhhhhhhhh i guess this is as good as it gets..... yknow what fuck it ill take whatever crumb i can get!
GIDEON!!! WHY IS SHE NAKED PLS
no dont leave me hanging like this give gideon some clothes ffs...... SHES HERE!!! SHES FINALLY HERE!!! HUMAN GIDEON AAAAAAAA
i cant wait for the interactions with the legends and human gideon!! this is going to be exciting! im already pumped for next week!
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sixthrock · 2 years
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angry post ahead
you know what coworker, yeah go ahead. go ahead on another one of your stupid fucking unhinged rants about how vaccine mandates are personally doing a genocide against you as A True Red Blooded White American, how keeping the mandate for healthcare workers is a Hate Crime Against The Holy Constitution and how one of these days you're going to let your tyrannical oppressors at fucking Home Depot HAVE IT because they had the gall to subject you to the utter indignity of asking about your vaccine status, even though you've been threatening to quit for two fucking years over this shit and haven't gone through with it because you know you need the money from all three of your jobs and continue to openly worship the almighty Free Market without it even once crossing your mind that having to work three jobs to survive in the first place is massively fucked
because I guess you're lucky. you're lucky enough to have not lost two family members to this shit already; to not have your uncle, the crazy pastor who's been telling his whole congregation that vaccines are how Gay Communist Satan enters your soul, currently in the ICU on deaths door and not a single fucking regret for anything he's said; to not have a 97 year old grandma who has to get sent an hour away after breaking her wrist because the nearest hospital is too full of covid patients to admit her; and to not have a parent currently going through chemo who's basically been a prisoner in his own home for months because getting the virus would almost certainly fucking kill him and he doesn't trust people in this shit hole red state enough to actually CARE about protecting people like him. youre real fuckin lucky you don't have to think about any of that, like I do, but I'm just a stupid fucking liberal commie millennial bitch so who cares, lol!!!!!
and if you're gonna listen to goddamn Tucker Carlson all day instead of actually doing any fucking work at least use headphones so I don't have to feel my iq slipping out my damn ears.
asshole.
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https://qgpennyworth.com/portfolio/never-look-back/
Never Look Back is a work from Holy Nonsense, a Creative Commons project. View Holy Nonsense 2020 here.
Each entry (single page or multiple pages of the same work) is released under an individual CC: Attribution, Non Commercial, No Derivatives license. That means you can repost this work as-is anywhere for any non-commercial purposes.
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Louie,
I've had it up to here with your bitching about how this pandemic has ruined your life. Seriously, this is not something someone arranged to make your life more difficult, it is not someone's fault, it is just the way the world operates. Plagues are part of the normal human condition, and we've been spoiled for a very long time on this particular topic.
So no, we can't just ignore it and go for "herd immunity." That's not how herd immunity works. Smallpox had its way with us for no less than 15,000 years, and we never developed herd immunity until we had a vaccine. Only now we have a vaccine and you don't want it. Just like you don't want any of the OTHER ways of mitigating the virus, AND you don't want lockdowns (which is what you get when you don't do all that other shit.)
And even if there weren't any lockdowns, nobody is going out to the pub or whatnot, because THEY DON'T FEEL LIKE DYING FOR YOUR ECONOMIC IDEALS.
How selfish of them, right?
In any case, we're moving forward. You don't have to move forward for us, but we will not slow down to let you catch up if you change your mind, and we're not looking back.
You will be a curiosity, some dude we used to know that died in a stupid way. At best, nobody will want to think about you. At worst, you'll be a joke told at parties...once we can have parties again, shortly after the plague rats all die off .
And there you have it, Louie. Don't ever look back. Accept that things change and sometimes things are lost or just over forever, and move along with your life.
Or don't. We can always just nail your door shut and paint it yellow, like back in the good old days.
Venomously yours,
Hamish
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khaleesiofalicante · 3 years
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OK I GOT 5 HOURS OF SLEEP LAST NIGHT WHICH IS PRETTY OK IG (I did stay up to read the fic-) BOTH MY TESTS WENT LIKE SHIT, I HAD AN ANXIETY ATTACK IN PROGRAMMING CLASS BECAUSE BY TEACHER IS A LITTLE SHIT WHO KEPT ON YELLING AT ME WHEN I DIDN'T UNDERSTAND SOMETHING AND I SPENT LUNCH ALONE BUT AT LEAST NOW IM ALONE WITH MY LAPTOP SO YAYAYAYYA
first of all, this chapter right here is my comfort chapter from now on. i said what i said. I will be rereading it again and again just because i can. it was PERFECTION
here's me going crazy at 2 am yesterday.
MAGNUS' CHAPTER
LET'S GO LET'S GO LET'S GO
AHHHHHHH IT'S THEIR ANNIVERSARY
SCREAM
oh
alec shaved his beard because it made him look older
RAFAEL WAS SO UPSET AFTER THE MEXICO ATTACK BECAUSE OF ANJALI RIGHT??
magnus and alec are the oblivious parents istg
“Are you decent?” Max yelled. “I don’t want to be traumatized again.”
“Hey! We agreed not to talk about that!” Alec yelled back.
Im not even surprised at this point
“Happy anniversary, bapa!” Rafael kissed him on the cheek and handed him the flowers.
“Where are my flowers?” Alec asked.
Rafael plucked a rose from the bouquet and threw it at Alec. “Here you go.”
“Thanks, son,” Alec mumbled.
IM WHEEZING
DAVID BAKES
“David made it,” Max said shyly. "
Oh,” Alec replied and then shrugged. “Well, the icing could be a little sweeter I think.”
Ever since Max started dating, Alec had become incredibly protective. Alec liked David of course – it was impossible to find someone who didn’t. But that didn’t mean Alec approved.
And it didn’t help that the blond boy was absolutely terrified of Alec.
ALEC STOP TEASING HIM
THE BOY IS ALREADY SCARED
“I don’t know,” Alec analysed the card. “David used too much glitter.”
“Since when do you have a problem with excessive glitter?” Max demanded.
ALEC
“I didn’t use him!” Max huffed. “He was thoroughly compensated for his efforts!”
“Compensated how?” Alec asked.
“Uh,” Max said. “With donuts.”
when i saw donuts i immediately thought of rose and luisa from jtv
iykyk
but should i continue the show? i got tired of jane continuously embarrasing herself
“You expect us to follow rules?” Alec asked in surprise. “In our own home? On our anniversary?”
The warlock boy grinned wickedly before leaning close to Alec.
“You better do it, or I will tell everyone about your secret,” Max whispered.
Alec blinked at that.
the secret...
I DONT LIKE HOW MANY THINGS POPPED INTO MY HEAD
is highschool musical that bad? i havent watched it. should i?
what if i cried
i just wanna hug alec??? but i cant say it'll be ok because it wont
“Is that why you are not attending?” Magnus grinned at his friend. “Or is it because you are terrified of Georgia?”
“That child is the reincarnation of Christopher Lightwood!” Ragnor complained. “I heard she made explosives out of demon ichor! Who makes explosions out of demon ichor?”
RAGNOR IS PROBABLY GETTING FLASHBACKS
THESE STUPID FUCKING BITCHES
how tf do you think we have survived huh??
medicine that's how
vaccines, anti biotics and what not
stop being close-minded and fucking do it
ok i know the risk is great
BUT OTHERWISE THEY ALL DIE
it was different for warlocks. The Shadow World was their universe. The nephilim kept it safe. At one point in their lives, they had learned to coexist with them, out of necessity and out of obligation.
And now here they were – working together in the name of friendship and love.
how things change...
what
say what
the causes are what
ok let's not jump to conclusions
im fucking crying wtf
alec doesnt deserve this shit
all he's done is make the world a better place
hes worked so hard on this
RAZIEL CAN GO FUCK HIMSELF
what am i supposed to say to my parents if one of them comes to check on me and im sitting here crying at 2 am
He didn’t want to believe in a reality that would punish Alec. Alec who only wanted to do what is good and right.
Alec was who was losing his hope and strength every passing day. Alec who was struggling. Alec who was turning to desperate measures to cope with all the stress.
please alec
no please
THE ANGELS ARE BITCHES
Because if Magnus found out Raziel was the one causing all this pain for Alec, he would march up to heaven and set the bastard on fire himself.
AND I'LL GO WITH HIM
KNEW THE SPY WAS LIVVY
AWW RAGNOR LIKES SELENA THATS SO SWEET
blue and gold
STOP IT IM CRYING AGAIN
The shadowhunter was a good influence on him. Magnus hoped Alec would see it sooner rather than later.
HUH
HUHU
HUH
omg
GIGI GETTING A SIBLING
“Max isn’t allowed to do a lot of things,” Magnus chuckled. “But he does them anyway.”
thats my boi
GASP
]THE NECKLACE
rafael is growing into the consul voice
they grow up so fast
nope nope he's still the little 5 year old
voice cracking what do you mean he's 20
im glad hes happy with mila. or is he...?
Magnus had deduced as much. Alec lived in his beautifully oblivious world. But Magnus noticed.
He noticed the hickeys. He noticed the late-night visits. He noticed the tense phone calls.
well thank god there's at least one non-oblivious person (alec i love you so much but you are very very oblivious)
“What’s stopping you then?” Magnus asked.
"2554 miles,” Rafael chuckled sadly.
me with all my online friends
probably more miles
Magnus tried to do the math but promptly gave up.
me
But Alec did lie though. Magnus pushed the thought away.
NOT NOW
LET ME LIVE IN PEACEFUL OBLIVION
HUSH
“Except melt it?” Rafael chuckled.
“Yes,” Magnus chuckled back. “As you can see, the bar is extremely low in the Lightwood family.”
AHHIUCCDSKUHDCV
i have no clue what the words describing the outfit are
time to google
OK PRETTY
Fifteen years. Fifteen years of loving and Alec still made his heart stutter.
dont do this to me right now I WILL CRY
“What the hell?” Max exclaimed. “Why are you all dressed up?”
“In case you haven’t noticed, it’s my anniversary,” Alec chuckled.
Max-
Fifteen years. Fifteen years and Magnus still took Alec’s breath away.
HJCSDHJBJDHSGCDYGJVVC JHVDFYMJ
it's not funny MY EYES ARE WATERING
“Bapak is a good looking one in the family,” Rafael pointed out. “You are the chaotic one and I am the smart one.”
“What am I then?” Alec asked dryly. “A sack of potatoes?”
“You’re the sexy one,” Magnus grinned. “A sexy sack of potatoes.”
yes.
Alec grinned back and leaned forward. Magnus put his hands around Alec’s neck and kissed him. He kissed Alec with all the love he had inside his heart.
Just like the first time. Just like the hundredth time. Just like the thousandth time.
Because with Alec, every kiss mattered. Every single one.
muffled sob
“Stop making out, oh my god!” Max groaned.
Magnus sensed a pillow coming their way but Rafael caught it before it hit them.
“Max, stop!” Rafael scolded. “You will wrinkle dad’s suit and ruin bapak’s hair! I spent hours ironing both!”
why is max me when i see people display affection in front of me
ALSO RAFAEL HKUIUIDCSKIHUDFVHJDFVHU
“They are here,” Rafael said. “You two better look exactly the way you did when I left with Max or I will raise hell.”
IM SCREAMING
Selena was wearing a blue crop top with the words “MIND YOUR OWN UTEREUS” written in gold.
i need that top
DAVID'S SHIRT IS THE COLOR OF MAX'S MAGIC
AHH ISABELLE DOESNT KNOW SHE'S PREGNANT YET
The argument of “who gave the best gift” had started when Jace and Izzy had gotten drunk on vodka. It didn’t help that Alec had gotten drunk as well. All three Lightwood siblings had then proceeded to have an argument about who had the best spouse. The whole night had been drunken chaos. Magnus, Clary and Simon had let them have it since the Lightwood siblings had a tendency to carry the world on their shoulders even when nobody asked them. They rarely ever let loose ever since their worlds had plunged into sickness and demon attacks. Especially Alec. So, Magnus had let his husband be that 18-year-old boy again. The boy who got drunk and fought with his siblings and sang songs about Magnus’ pretty eyes.
OH MY GOD THE CHAOS
Georgia considered that. “I’m not allowed to melt it, right?”
“No,” they all replied in chorus.
LET GIGI MELT IT
SELENA IM SO PROUD OF YOU
“Dad,” Max said. “Can you keep a picture of me wearing this necklace in your office?”
“Why?” Rafael asked.
“I think it will piss off the boomers,” Max giggled.
“Nice!” Lexi grinned. “A downworlder wearing a shadowhunter heirloom? They will lose their heads. Uncle Alec, you must do it.”
“I will do you one better. I will hang a tapestry,” Alec chuckled.
YASSS I CANT WAIT FOR THE SHADOWHUNTERS TO BE PISSED
AWW THEY DIDNT KNOW THE NECKLACE USED TO BELONG TO MAGNUS
he actually gave to camille first-
Why couldn’t this boy just cause chaos during his travel year like the rest of them? Why did he actually study and do his research as recommended?
why would you NOT study and research during your travel year????
oh shit
well well well
david bby stfu
i love you but pls stop speaking for all our sakes
“Holy shit,” Max said. “It is expensive then!”
“Don’t pawn the ruby!” Rafael warned.
MAX NO-
OH THE STONE COMES FROM EDOM
oh no
pls dont fight
oh so i was wrong about magus confronting him from that snippet
all you need to know is im sobbing right now and grammarly is the only thing making this coherent
dont mind me just
NO I FORGOT ABOUT MAX AND DAVID
GET BACK IN THE ROOM YOU IDIOTS
don't do this to me at 3 am
OK THE DILF PART
thank you for adding light into my life again
(me while editing this: today really isn't my day huh? i just slipped in rainwater outside my balcony because I heard rain and ran there. now my knee and back hurt and I think I sprained (?) my toe-
ANYWAY
wait im gonna go check out the rain and then continue editing this
ok i got bored of the rain)
that made me laugh through my tears
“Objectively good looking?” Jace snorted. “Excuse you, but my parabatai is smoking hot! He is a freaking prize, okay? If we had a magazine for hot shadowhunters, you would be on the cover page. Every single issue.”
“Okay, that’s enough!” Alec interrupted. “Magnus, are you happy? Now all my friends have told me I am pretty.”
“I said smoking hot,” Jace corrected.
“We are not being biased,” Clary pointed out. “It is the general consensus, Alec.”
“It’s true,” Lexi said. “So many people have asked me for your number, Uncle Alec. And I would have given it to them if I wasn’t worried about being turned into a marshmallow.”
LEXI DUHDUGHUDFCUHKVDFUIKFDU
“Dad, I don’t know why you are so worried,” Max said in a bored tone. “You’re a told DILF.”
David choked on his champagne and Jace patted him on the back.
“What the hell is a DILF?” Alec demanded.
“Oh, I know this one!” Jace said excitedly. “It means Dashing and Irresistible Looking Father. Max is right, you are a total DILF.”
“Mr. Herondale-” David raised a hand.
“I heard one of the shadowhunters in their travel year calling me a DILF too,” Jace said proudly.
THAT IS NOT WHAT DILF MEANS OH MY GOD
“It’s not a rumour,” Selena spoke up and passed her phone. “There is a group chat at Scholomance just to thirst after you.”
add me to it
ALL THE COMMENTS I CANT BREATHE
“Alec Lightwood can run me over with a Maserati and I would thank him.”
“Give me that,” Izzy grabbed the phone and started giggling. “Petition for Consul Alec Lightwood-Bane to stab me with his mortal sword.”
“Isabelle!” Alec hissed, cheeks flaming. “Stop it!”
“I want one!” Jace grabbed the phone now. “By the Angel!”
“Read it!” the kids yelled in chorus.
“I would gladly let Consul Lightwood-Bane inspect my mortal instruments,” Jace chuckled and threw the phone at David.
David shook his head vehemently and threw it at Max.
“My body is just a hole for Alec Lightwood,” Max read out loud and started laughing so hard that he fell off his chair.
Lexi grabbed the phone and giggled. “I want the Consul to strip off my runes among other things.”
She passed the phone to Gigi, who looked at the phone and look at Alec.
“Uncle Alec,” the girl said. “This person wants you to crush them with your massive archer arms.”
“Give me that,” Rafael grabbed it now. “Aw, this one is a classic, dad. Alec Lightwood turned me gay.”
He threw the phone at Simon, who stared the screen and looked up. “Uh, I don’t think I can read this one out loud in front of the kids.
“Is this the one about the basement?” Selena chuckled and Simon nodded.
WHAT'S THE BASEMENT ONe
TELL ME
AWW GIGI AND LEXI PUTTING MAKEUP ON DAVID AND MAX RECORDING IT
google translator time
oooo Rafael's gonna talk with Mila
Magnus you're such a good father
seriously
“Sometimes things are just sad. So, you need to let yourself be sad.”
YES
SAY IT LOUDER
THEY ARE UNDER THE BED
AHHH MAX AND DAVID
DAVID CALLED HIM MY ANGEL IN FRENCH
Alec and Magnus hiding under the bed and spying on them is just-
Jace had tried to give Max the shovel talk and had gotten a little too emotional.
of course, he did smh I love him so much
“David doesn’t need a shovel talk,” Alec smiled. “He knows what would happen to him if he hurts my son.”
David gulped. “You will throw me into the silent city?”
“I will ask me husband to portal you to hell,” Alec said – Consul Voice. “We have relatives there.”
the beloved relatives yes
“Goodnight,” Jace gave them a salute. “Have fun inspecting Magnus’ mortal instruments.”
JACE
OH SO THE QUESTION WAS ABOUT SMOKING
damn it
oh my god guys he said he'll stop smoking
just lemme have this moment
my boy's lungs will be intact
HIS LUNGS WILL BE OK
“I can’t wait to see all the messages on the chat after that,” Magnus giggled.
Alec looked up. “I’m more than a tall glass of water, Magnus!”
SCREAMING
In his dream, he saw them again. But they weren’t smiling this time.
what
wait
THE PROPHETIC DREAMS
nope nope nope
Nah I don't know what you're talking about
haha
damn, I think I really hurt my back...
OK BUT THE IMMORTALITY ANGST???? WAS SO SO GOOD???? I know it makes me cry but is it bad that I'm always so excited for angst written by you because of HOW GOOD it is????
"When I die I will love you from my grave" I NEED THIS ON MY FOREHEAD OH MY GOD I LOVE THESE TWO SO SO MUCH
alright I need to get something for my back and my knee (I'm home alone so this will be fun)
OK, I THINK THE NEXT CHP WILL BE ANJALI'S POV I JUST FEEL IT!!! I miss my girl so much I hope she's doing ok. Jaime too...
I'm rereading all of these chapters after chapter 10 because why not. Bye!!
OKAY I AM GLAD YOU LIKED IT BUT I AM ALSO DEEPLY WORRIED ABOUT YOUR HEALTH.
I hope your knee and back feels better soon!
also fuck that teacher yelling something doesn't make people understand it any better ugh dumb piece of shit anyway screw that person.
I hope you get some good rest and recovery from this rollercoaster of a day.
Take care!
13 notes · View notes
kittyprincessofcats · 2 years
Text
I am so fucking tired of fucking everything, why does finding a job take this fucking long? Why is this dumb fucking pandemic still a thing? Holy shit, can I please just slap some sense into every dumb bitch who could have been vaccinated by now but isn’t? Y’all are the reason why this hell isn’t ending for anyone else.
Germany’s in the middle of a 4th Covid wave and it’s the biggest and worst one yet, and now they’re debating another lockdown and... this could have all been over by now. Everyone can get vaccinated (exept for people who can’t for medical reasons, but you get what I mean). We have enough of the vaccine to vaccinate everyone. This could have all been over but people are dumb and would rather protest against lockdowns in the street than do that one thing that’ll protect them and and end this nightmare.
[personal stuff under the cut]
So, I’ve been desperately applying for jobs freaking everywhere in these last few weeks because I just need to get out of this house for my own mental health. And I had an interview at this food place two weeks ago. They told me I’d need a health certificate (basically, a certificate that proves I’ve been instructed on how to avoid infections when working with food). Problem was there’s only one doctor in my hometown who’s allowed to do these instructions and issue these certificates and he was super hard to get an appointment with (because Covid, duh). (And no, you’re not allowed to go to a doctor from another city, it had to be that one.) And now, two weeks later, I finally did it, got an appointment, got the certificate (that I had to pay for with my own money)... only to return to the food place and be told “Oh, actually because the Covid situation got so much worse in the last two weeks I’m not sure if we’re hiring people anymore. Can you come back on monday?”
... I wanted to scream. Like, I legit wanted to scream. Everytime I’m close to reaching my goal, the Covid situation decides to fuck it up somehow. I feel like this’ll just go on forever and I’ll never get out of here.
And now my parents know that I’ve been looking for a temporary job and it’s just... UGH. My dad is being surprisingly supportive about it all - he said it’s good that I’m doing my own thing and actively looking for a job, he even drove me to my appointment and keeps offering to help... but I’m worried he’s only offering “help” because I mentioned that I might not want to give him my new address once I have one, and he’s trying to subtly stop me from keeping that from him. I also know that as soon as I tell him the reason I’m so upset by him is that he’s still misgendering my sister, his mood will switch from supportive to angry real fast - at least it did last time.
Now if it turns out on monday that this job won’t work out, I’ll have to either look for another job in the food industry before the health certificate expires (3 months, then I’d have to do it again, which - no thanks), or I could look for a job that I know won’t get locked down if Covid gets worse. Many of the Covid test centers are looking for staff right now and I wondered if I should just apply there - I’d feel good about at least doing something to help with this pandemic situation, but at the same time working in a test center of course heightens the risk of getting Covid yourself.
8 notes · View notes
uglymanchronicles · 3 years
Text
Ugly Man Chronicles Reignition Book 2 Chapter 2: My Breakfast With Evan
Just a couple dudes getting to know each other.
“If you must know,” Evan sighed, spearing a glistening sausage on the end of a flimsy plastic fork, “my jackass older sister thought it would be hilarious to give me a cupcake she'd baked with about a dozen powdered viagra for my fifteenth birthday. I wound up passing out eventually. Burst a lot of blood vessels. Damaged the erectile tissue beyond usefulness.”
Titus froze mid-coffee-sip. “Seriously? What a bitch!”
“Buddy, you don't know the half of it.”
“So... no signs of life down there?”
“Nothing for twelve years.”
“I think I would literally kill myself.”
“It's not so bad, I guess. At least I don't have to drain the blood out of it any more.”
“Eugh! Fuck! Did not need to hear that!”
“Well, maybe you shouldn't ask questions you don't want the answer to.”
“Do you get, like, blue balls all the time, then?”
“That's basically my ground state of being.”
Titus whistled flatly, avoiding looking Evan in the eye. He settled for staring at the table. There wasn't a lot of Evan's face that he felt comfortable looking at; every part seemed to at least be adjacent to some unpleasantry or another. About the only safe area was his right eye, which, as luck would have it, was directly opposite Titus's 'good' eye. Titus rallied and met Evan's gaze again. “Alright, your turn.”
They'd agreed on a sort of mutual interview process, taking turns asking questions to suss out what the other was capable or if he was worth having around. Evan took a bite out of the sausage and chewed thoughtfully for a moment.
“Who's Moreno?”
Titus hissed through his teeth. “A real piece of shit.”
“I'm going to need more than that.”
“I'm getting to it. He's basically, like... a freelance henchman? Like, sort of a mercenary criminal. Sells his services to the highest bidder.”
“And why's he matter?”
“That's another question.”
“No, it is not,” Evan said, quiet and serious. “Do not argue with me in bad faith, Titus. I have very little patience for it in the best of times.”
Titus regarded him for a long moment. The man across from him was wider than the table they sat at. His muscles were so pronounced in some points that Titus could tell when he was about to move by the way they bulged and contracted. Yet he gave the impression that he was constantly trying to pull himself inward, to make himself smaller. He spoke quietly and with a simple formality, but only hours before Titus had watched him single-handedly beat down some of the nastiest people he'd met in the past month.
Hmm.
“Fine. Moreno matters because I'm after the guy he's working for. You see, Moreno isn't just a normal scumbag. He works for people who need nasty things done. Not like regular nasty, either. How much do you actually know about magic?”
“I've got some... notes. So far I'm not able to find a lot of coherent rules. It mostly seems like it relies on things that nobody would normally do.”
Titus snapped his fingers and pointed at Evan. “Hit it right on the head. Rituals, reagents, that kind of thing... the reason—well, one of the reasons—magic doesn't just happen all the time by accident is that it's all weird little things. A lot of the more heavy magic relies on some pretty elaborate and obtuse shit to get it going.”
Evan momentarily thought back to the Book of Fate and his ritual in the woods. “So Moreno does these things for people?”
“Yeah. Thing is, though...” Titus stopped raising a forkful of eggs halfway to his mouth and set it down again, as if he'd momentarily lost his appetite. “The people who use his services generally practice some pretty vile magic. Real depraved shit. And to empower depraved magic, you need depraved rituals. Moreno is the guy you go to when...”
“I think I get it,” Evan interjected, since Titus seemed to be struggling with deciding whether to continue. “Your turn.”
Titus tapped his fingers on the table for a moment, then looked Evan in the eye. “How smart are you?”
The scars on Evan's face squirmed around as he actually smirked. “What kind of question is that?”
“Hey, we agreed no 'whys'.”
“Alright, alright. Well, there's really no objective metric for it, but... I have Master's degrees in computer science and theoretical physics, Bachelor's in those in addition to mathematics and electrical engineering, and associate's degrees and certificates in everything from EMT training to ballet. I should have my doctorate in physics, but...” he said, with a bitterness that Titus made a note of, then changed gears. “Oh, and I also speak Mandarin, Spanish, Japanese, French, and Arabic pretty fluently. I also know ASL. I can get by in German and Russian, too. I don't know if any of that is what you meant but--”
“Jesus, I get it,” Titus muttered, rubbing the side of his head. “How the fuck do you make money?”
“Software consulting, mostly. I specialize in security and processing efficiency. People pay me to break into their systems and then patch the holes, or to make their code run quicker or make their programs smaller. I've got a few patents I've licensed that bring in most of my income nowadays, though.”
“Anything I would have heard of?”
“If you've used a computer made in the last four years it probably has something I wrote integrated somewhere into it. I also helped develop a protein-sequencing program that helped develop a vaccine for this nasty SARS variant that broke out in China last year. They say if they hadn’t nipped it in the bud it could’ve spread worldwide and we’d be looking at millions of deaths by now.”
Titus scrunched up his face. “Oh yeah, just say that like it’s no big deal.”
“I’m just glad it turned out not to be one. What I'd really like to do is get my compression algorithm out there, but if I do that, somebody's going to try to hoard it all for themselves.”
“Are you talking to yourself or me?”
“Look, I... a few years ago I figured out a way to compress memory down by a exponential factor of six with zero loss. All it takes is a couple software plugins that don't take up much room themselves. Essentially, I could make a gigabyte fit in a kilobyte with very little trouble, now that the math's figured out.”
“Holy fuck, that's insane! Why haven't I heard anything about this?”
“Mainly because I don't tell people. If I put it up on the market, some ISP would buy it and bury it. If you make information smaller, you make it faster. Can you imagine what it'd do to internet access if dial-up and barebones cellular networks suddenly had the bandwidth of fiber optics? It would... maybe not revolutionize our society, but it would level a lot of playing fields. Bring a lot of underdeveloped areas of the world—hell, this country—up to modern levels with no extra cost. The telecomms would crash and burn so hard. But I don't have the means to get it out there without going through someone else. Yet,” Evan added. “So I basically work watered-down versions of the compressor into the software I make. Nothing that can be duplicated, and nowhere near its full potential, but enough to get me hailed as some kind of genius and pay the bills.”
“So why aren't you on your own private island or something somewhere instead of puttering around God's Ashtray in a shitty old Bug?”
“Hey, the Beetle is not shitty,” Evan said, defensively. “And I'm just waiting for the AC in my RV to get fixed or I'd be driving that.”
“Oh hot damn! Now that's the way to live!”
“Not the one I'd choose voluntarily, but it could be worse.”
“How come you're doing it, then?”
“I think it's my turn to ask,” Evan said, mildly.
“Fine,” Titus said grumpily, crossing his arms.
“How do you make money?”
“That's easy. I'm basically a freelance bailbondsman. I just roam around, drop my advertising around bars and courthouses.”
“You get many clients that way?” Evan asked, cocking his remaining eyebrow.
“Oh, you'd be amazed how desperate people can get,” Titus said, shrugging. “Of course, they're usually not the most responsible people, so when they bounce, I track 'em down myself, drag ‘em back to jail, get the money back. My eye usually makes it super easy. Sometimes they don't even see me before I get the cuffs on 'em.”
“Why did you feel the need to rob a bunch of drug dealers, then? The thrill of it?”
“I had a pressing need for a large amount of cash that my normal work doesn't bring in. That got me enough to hold it off for a while. My turn.”
Evan waved down a waitress for a refill of his coffee, trying not to take it personally when she gasped upon seeing his face. “Go ahead…”
“No, no, hang on.” Titus waved a hand dismissively. “I want to try something. Take your hair out of the ponytail.”
“What? Why?”
“Humor me.”
Evan groaned and reached back, removing his hair tie. After shaking his head, his hair fell over his face, obscuring everything but his nose and mouth. Titus pursed his lips and regarded him seriously for a moment.
“Can you see?”
“Yeah, I guess. Well enough to not walk into things, I think, and I could probably read if I had to.”
Titus snapped his fingers. “Good. Go with that from now on.”
“Why?”
“Because now you don’t look like God’s mistake. Now you look like a big, dumb-but-lovable goon. Like Jack Black would voice you in a cartoon.”
“And that’s a good thing?”
“Do you like seeing people contemplating their own mortality and the general cruel absurdity of the tragic farce that is human existence when they get a glimpse of your face?”
Evan felt his cheeks burn and was actually grateful his hair was covering most of his face. “…not particularly, no.”
“Then there you go. You’re welcome. Okay, question time. Uh… how did you get your powers?”
“Which one?”
“Oh, now who’s arguing in bad faith? Fucking all of them, you thick-lipped gargoyle.”
Evan had the feeling he hit a sore spot. Titus's easy-going, jocular tone had bled away from him, leaving behind the hard-edged razor-blade of a man that had ambushed him the night before. He decided not to belabor the point.
“I don't know why I can rege—why I heal so quickly. No, I'm serious, as far as I know, it just started happening sometime in the past few months. I can't remember. Don't look at me like that, I'll get to that in a minute. When I was younger I recovered from a lot of injuries a lot quicker than the doctors thought I would, so maybe it's something I was born with and it just got stronger recently for some reason.”
Evan took a sip of coffee, mainly to buy a few seconds to think of how much to explain for the next part.
“The ability to shut off powers... that's part of, well, I guess you'd call it a magic ritual, because I don't know what else to call it. I found a weird old book that said it contained the key to making someone an instrument of universal justice, or something of the sort. Since then I can see... I guess they're souls? Maybe? I can sort of move mine and when I run it into someone else's it seems like I can shut off their powers. Or... take them entirely, if they're dying.”
“Horseshit!” Titus scoffed. “That's... that's like meta-magic. I don't even know if that's real.”
“No, seriously! I don't think it's just magic powers, I think it... 'normalizes' things.” He briefly recounted his encounter with the pain monster.
“Are you kidding me? That...” Titus took off his hat and ran his hand through his hair, exhaling slowly and loudly. “Look, I don't know much, but the fact that you even ran into something like that, let alone survived... those odds are astronomical. And you say you negated not just its powers, but its whole form?”
“Yeah. Once I... reached into it, like I did with you—oh don't make that face. Grow up—I kind of disrupted what made it... different, I guess? Like I cut it off from its special qualities. Like it was...”
“Disjuncted,” Titus cut in.
“Yeah, that's a good word for it. Like the old Mordenkainen spell?”
“Fucking nerd.”
“Eat my ass. Anyway, after I killed it, I was able to reach into its... soul? Animating force? Aura? I don't know what to call it. I was able to grab something and pull it out and it just got pulled into me.”
“Not aura.”
“What?”
“Aura's a different thing,” Titus said, dismissively. “So what did you get from doing that?”
“I.. I feel pain differently. I don't flinch or get adrenaline rushes from injuries that don't actually impede my ability to function. I think I have a better sense of what is actually dangerous to my body now. It still hurts, but I don't react to pain like people normally do. It's like...hmm.” Evan drummed his fingers on the table. “Do you know anything about video games? Fighting games, specifically?”
“I used to fuck around on an old Alpha 3rd Strike cabinet when I was a kid. Why?”
“Do you know what 'super armor' is?”
“Isn't that where a move can't get stopped by being hit when you're doing it?”
“Right. I'm kind of like that now. Pain doesn't interrupt me.”
“Fucking nerd.”
Evan's fist involuntarily clenched. “I'm trying to put this in terms you can understand, you stupid reprobate. My experience with your judgment thus far hasn't given me much faith in your intellect.”
Titus burst out laughing. “So he does know how to banter! I thought you might be one of those Rainman types.”
“Oh sure, call it 'banter' to try to excuse the fact that you've been insulting me for the past half hour. Do you say you're ‘just joking’ when people get mad at you for saying stupid shit, too?”
“C'mon, lighten up! We're partners now! Tell me more about this soul thing. I still think you're full of shit.”
Evan sighed through his nose, then held up his left hand, forming his fingers into a circle and peering through them.
“Yours is... a sort of cross between a sea green and an oil slick. The tendrils of it keep reaching out and snapping back, going all over the place. It seems to keep expanding and contracting. It's almost flickering, like... it's indecisive. Very chaotic. The tendrils that aren't snapping around seem to be kept pretty close to your body, wrapping around you like... I can't tell if it's protective or restrictive.”
Titus's expression slowly became serious. “What does that mean?”
“I don't know. I have a lot of theories, but nothing solid to go on. I'm not sure if it's allegorical or a literal representation of a person's... power, maybe? Yours definitely looks a lot different than most people's.”
“I don't believe this for a second. Let me see.”
“How would I do tha—hey!”
Titus grabbed Evan's wrist and held his hand up to his eye. “Ho-lee...”
He pulled back from Evan's hand, staring at him. Then he looked around the room, mouth slack as he took in the diner's other occupants.
“Huh. Did you know it keeps working until you blink?” He said after a moment, a faraway tone to his voice.
“I didn't even know other people could do it,” Evan said, awe in his voice. “Hey, wow, you're right!”
“Jesus, yours is, like, really blue. It looks like... a bunch of steel cables. It's weird, I felt like I both could and couldn't see the edges of it...”
“I can kind of move it, but I'm not sure if I can do anything with it beyond interfering with people's powers. It's like learning to use a muscle you didn't know you had.”
“Huh.” Titus was again silent for a long moment. “Your turn.”
“Can you do anything else supernatural? Besides your time-eye?”
“Don't call it that, it sounds stupid. And... sorta. I seem to have whatever innate talent you need to actually do magic, but it's not like it's easy to find instructions. Most of the people I know who can use it just dabble with half-broken magic items—wands, amulets, charms,” he pulled the silence charm out from under his coat and bounced it at the end of its chain. “I guess I'm sort of a dabbler. I know a few tricks, I can use a lot of magic tools, I can sense magic pretty well, I can dowse... Most of the time I really never have to use anything besides the eye, though.”
“Is the eye all-or-nothing?”
“Yeah. It's not nearly as useful as you'd think, but any edge is an edge.”
“When I turned off your power and it was coming back, though, you started speeding up—or, I guess, everything else was slowing down? You were moving faster, one way or the other. You were able to touch me, and those punches hurt.”
“Huh, yeah, you're right.”
“Do you think there's a way you could learn to only partially activate it?”
“That'd be great, wouldn't it? Thing is, just using it is a huge strain, and that time spend outside of time adds up. Going by normal calendar time I'm only 26.”
“Fuck, I'm 27!” Evan laughed.
“Yeah, well, I'd rather be prematurely gray than what you've got going on. My turn. Uh... huh, I can't really think of anything else. Uh... are you gay?”
“Are you fucking serious?”
“No, but the question still counts.”
“I'm bi,” Evan mumbled, crossing his arms across his prodigious chest. “Not that it matters. And before you ask, no, you are not my type. We're done talking about this.”
“Huh. You ever sucked--”
“We. Are. Done. Talking about this.”
“Fine, God. Go.”
Evan mentally circled back to an earlier question he felt hadn't been properly answered. “Why are you after Moreno?”
To Evan's surprise, Titus didn't hesitate. “I'm actually after his current boss. He's just the best lead I have to go on.” He took a deep breath, then started talking with a rushed, deadpan pace, as if he was eager to get the words out as quickly as possible so they wouldn't be in his mouth very long.
“Moreno is working for a guy only known as the Soultaker. He has an innate supernatural ability to pull a person's soul out of their body. When that happens, the person just... shuts down, usually. No motive force behind them. Eventually they just die of dehydration, usually. I've seen some people so set in routine that they keep going without a soul, but... it's not really life.
“It seems like the extraction process takes a while, so he can't just walk past you on the street and pickpocket your entire essence. So he needs people rounded up for him, held until he can do his nasty juju. So that's where a degenerate like Moreno comes in.
“So when he pulls out a soul, it, well, it looks like this.”
Titus pulled a battered, faded Crown Royale bag out of his jacket. It bulged strangely and made a quiet clacking when he set it on the table. He pulled out what looked like a large marble, or maybe a dull pearl, and handed it to Evan.
Evan brushed his hair out of his eyes and peered into the milky depths of the sphere. After a few moments of staring, the murky clouds inside the thing seemed to clear and a face floated to the surface. A black man, maybe in his late 40s, going thin on top. His eyes were closed and he appeared to be sleeping, but his expression had a look of discomfort to it, as if he was having a bad dream.
“Jesus Christ,” Evan whispered, “I've seen this guy... Martell Calloway? I saw some news article about how his family found him tied up in his apartment and completely comatose! But he didn't have any injuries beyond being a black eye... so he's dead?”
“Life support,” Titus said, taking Mr. Calloway's soul back from Evan's unresisting fingers, “technically, he's one of the lucky ones. They found his body before it wasted away to nothing, and I was able to intercept his soul before it got to a buyer.”
“Why would someone buy something like this? What use is it? Can you fix him?”
“A human soul is a damn near exhaustible arcane battery,” Titus said gravely. In the split second between sentences, Evan noticed something—after he'd put the bag back into his jacket, Titus surreptitiously touched a pocket on the other side of his jacket, as if he was making sure something was still there.
“If you know what you're doing, you can power a lot of magic using a soul. And you can reuse them as long as you don't overdo it. If you know what you're doing, you can wring all but the last drops of essence out of a soul and let it heal or recover or whatever, and it'll eventually be back to full strength. Very resilient things,” Titus continued. “I don't think they're conscious in there, but... anyway, it's supposed to be really hard to extract a soul. But this guy was born with or spontaneously developed or somehow figured out a shortcut to the whole process. So the market is getting flooded with torture-batteries and ECUs are getting flooded with vegetables. And families are winding up with loved ones who are as good as dead, without having any idea why this happened to them. Dozens of them have been taken off life support in the past few months. Half these souls have no body to return to. And no, I can't fix it. At least not yet,” he sighed again. “I was hoping once I found him, I could somehow get the secret out of him or force him to put them back, or... maybe I thought if I killed him it'd reverse the effect. He needs killing, either way.”
Titus's eye widened as a thought struck him and he looked Evan in the eye for the first time since he'd started the story. Evan realized what he was thinking and looked down at the tattoo on his left arm, flexing his fingers.
“If you can take people's powers after they die...”
“...then we can save these people.”
Titus put a hand over his mouth and for a moment Evan thought he saw his eye well up.
“I'm in,” Evan said, a sense of righteous purpose welling in his heart. “I don't really know what the universe wants, but I doubt... I know it's not this. We'll find him, we'll stop him, and we'll save as many of these people as we can.”
“...thanks,” Titus mumbled behind his hand. He swallowed hard, then seemed to come back to himself. “We're back to square one, though.”
“You said you could dowse? Like, for real?”
“Yes, for real. I can find things and people with the pendulum method. It's handy for tracking down bounties.”
“Why don't you dowse Moreno?”
“Why didn't I think of that?!” Titus said incredulously, smacking his forehead. “Because he's warded. He's not magic himself, but he's collected enough gear through his career that my normal methods don't work.”
Evan rubbed his chin. “What if we used an abnormal method?”
-------------------
An hour later, they were in the RV. Titus was poring over the collection of Evan's notes and the strange papers he'd bought from Delmann's shop. Evan was very carefully slicing a strip of skin from his own ankle up all the way up his leg. The Guiding Light—the Finder's Follysat on the table between them, filled with fresh blood.
“Even if this works, he's going to know we're coming,” Titus muttered, engrossed in the pages. “Remember what I said?”
“That's why we're not going to look for him,” Evan said, adjusting his grip on the potato peeler. “I don't know how we'd even write his name. Can you read that, by the way?”
“Kind of. This is... most of this is written in, like, arcane pidgin. Who compiled these notes?”
“I did, I think.”
“You think?”
“Oh yeah, I forgot to clarify on that. Apparently a couple months ago, before the ritual, I drilled a hole in my own brain to erase some kind of very dangerous memory.”
“You what.”
“That's not a metaphor or anything. Really did it. I could show you the video.”
“I'll pass. So you don't remember where this came from?” Titus shook the Book of Fate at him.
“Nope.”
“Jesus shit, do you have any idea--”
“How reckless that was? Yeah, yeah, I'm still here and I'm the answer to your fuckin' prayers, aren't I?” Evan gave a whoop as the peeling skin reached his thigh. “Got it this time!” he said cheerfully, snipping the flesh-ribbon off with scissors.
“God, that's so fucking gross. Anyway, you haven't explained how we're going to use that thing to find Moreno.”
“We don't set it to look for him. We look for somewhere he's been. Maybe the last place he slept. Do you think you can describe him well enough in that language for it to work?”
Titus looked like he might actually be impressed, but he hid it well. “Yeah, probably.”
“Good. I've got a dictionary I've put together on that tablet next to you, but I'm not sure how accurate it is. Maybe it'll help?”
---------------------
Two hours later, they had it.
Find where a man born between the 27th and 28th north parallels during a new moon under the sign of capricorn with black hair and green eyes who has killed at least 10 people slept in the past week.
They really had to squeeze the letters in, but when Evan put a flame to the wick, it sprung to life, wavered for a moment, and then pointed east. Both men cheered. Evan threw Titus the keys.
“Drive! Drive north until I tell you otherwise!”
While Titus started the engine, Evan spread a map of the United States on the table in front of the lamp, then produced a protractor and a notebook from a drawer. “Okay, you bastard... let's see where you've been hiding...”
It took three days—one spent driving north, one spent driving back to where they'd started, and one spent driving south. While Titus drove, Evan made meticulous notes of the flame's direction, marking angles on the map. Finally he threw the pencil down triumphantly.
“He's in Salt Lake City.”
“Well, that narrows it down a little, I guess. So what, do we just go there and hope this thing points us in the right direction?”
“Too slow,” Evan called, stepping back into what used to be his bedroom and sitting at his computer. “Now I work my magic.”
After parking, Titus walked back to look over Evan's shoulder. The half-dozen monitors on the wall were flickering between rapidly-changing pictures of faces and what appeared to be CCTV footage.
“What is this?”
“This,” Evan said with dramatic pride, “is Blaccat. Facial recognition algorithms that the CIA wishesit had. I actually started working on it years ago before I thought about the implications of it, but I shelved it. I figured since I may be needing to, uh...”
“Be Batman?”
“...yeah...that I should get back to work on it. Right now it's comparing faces to the description you gave me and cycling through every damn security camera in the city looking for it.”
“How illegal is this?”
“Soooooo illegal.”
“Oh, hey, can you get into police department records?”
“Does the Pope shit in the woods?”
“See if you can get into the Las Vegas mugshots from... February 2019. Run your face-recognition thingy there.”
“Alright.... and... is that our boy?”
A handsome Latino man in his early 30s with shoulder-length jet-black hair and piercing green eyes stared at them from over a booking clipboard.
“That's him,” Titus breathed.
“Perfect! Now I just have to feed that into... wow.” Evan made a gesture and a black and white video popped up on the biggest monitor. The man in the mugshot was walking along the street, flanked by a short stocky man in bandanna and a lanky man with the ugliest white-boy dreads Evan had ever seen.
“That's him! Where is that? When is that?”
Evan grinned up at Titus. “That's live. I can track him and put us at the nearest intersection.”
Titus smiled, eye overbright, and began breathing heavily through his nose. “We got him.”
Evan met his eye and nodded. “Let's get him.”
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sinnabonka · 3 years
Note
I legit don't understand anti-vaxxer people. I just looked up which vaccine shots i got as a kid and HOLY SHIT i got like a dozen! i had no idea! but now i'm googling "what vaccines can i get?" because fuck yeah i want more! i want to be fuckin INVINCIBLE! gimme ALL THE VACCINES! there are now TWENTY-EIGHT human diseases against which there are effective vaccines?? count me IN. stick me, bitch. i want all the preventable diseases to be SCARED OF ME. gonna (not) catch em all!
E X A C T L Y!
Gimme all the shots you got, ain’t walking into a fight with my bare ass and nothing else
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bitchesgetriches · 3 years
Note
Hey bitches! Any advice on how to tell your supervisors to stop spreading harmful misinformation about the covid vaccine? My job is kind of on the line at the moment (not anything I’ve done, the company is just firing temps without *saying* they’re firing temps) so I don’t know if it’s the right time to approach management and be like “hey you guys are doing this wrong,” but we work processing covid samples and most of the other employees are already not getting the vaccine for various reasons, so I feel like it’s imperative that our managers not scare off the ones that would like to get the vaccine with misinformation.
Holy shit this is NOT COOL. Here’s our advice:
Ask the Bitches Pandemic Lightning Round: "How Do I Push Back When My Workplace Isn't Taking COVID-19 Seriously?" 
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littlebabycrybtch · 4 years
Text
honestly its still so heart dropping and disgusting to continue to see aspec ppl have to put on that like. trained, overly polite, overly passive, complete Lack Of Self Respect tone that forces a sense of ‘i know i dont matter’ just so they dont get completely automatically ground into dust when they go out on a limb and ask ppl they wanna interact with; ‘hey please dont start anything but can you just let me know if you’re an aphobe or not’ and its Still met with soo much mockery and disbelief almost every time like....... bro what even is there not to understand. you’re literally being the proof of why they have to ask abt it i cannot Fathom that kind of Blindness like lmfao bitch they just dont wanna be around some1 who hates them.... thats .. normal... thats human?? thats human behaviors. its having standards for yourself. its FEELINGS like unironically rn pls tell me you’re clowning and that you do understand how fucken LOUD you all are abt normalizing aspec hate and how often we obviously run into bitches like you and have to ask this question. you know how LONG we’ve begged for basic support so you have to know that reacting to being asked if you give a shit abt somebody with that kind of mockery is disgusting and bratty and ignorant af bc bro lmao its YOUR FAULT for being a Part of the people HATING THEM....?
holy shit lol, nobody should be good with being around people who disrespect a part of them,,,, thats like a genuine personal problem if someone willingly wants to do that, so why tf would you be expecting that. bc its us? bc its us. bc its us and you feel THAT right in thinking that we’re so worthless, they we are just so Stupid for not knowing that too. its funny to you that we dont realize how little we matter. lmao its so ugly and warped like!!! god how fuckin evil can you get just calm down idiot lmao theyre asking if you respect them and you’re basically responding ‘why would it matter to you if i didnt?’ bhsejbjehg uhhhhhhjjjjjjjjj bc thats. a regular thing 2 care about. its standards like mam do you hang out with ppl who hate you. is that some normal thing to you like. avoiding the ppl who wish you werent around is sort of just . health and safety and basic emotional response and also common sense. really is. literally How dehumanizing and detached coudl you POSSIBLY be abt this to be directly asked by a marginalized identity group if you respect them or not, and actually say No, but Also be like ‘LMAO YOU REALLY ASKED ME THAT? IT DOESNT MATTER’ like. yeah it matters bc they stay existing actually, you dont have to hate them for that, and they wouldnt have to ask yall this stuff if you behaved lmfao. not to mention your reaction is literally the evidence that it apparently matters enough to You to make sure they know you dont accept them. fully, you are whats making it ‘matter’ so much bc you are the one going apeshit over a benign existence. you’re the one losing it over nothing.
like lmfafuckingo what is WRONG with your MIND dude im.... speechless like ‘dont drag me into discourse’ YOU HATING SOME1 AND THEM HATING YOU BACK IS NOT ‘’’’’’TUMBLR DISCOURSE’’’’’..............? WHAT R U DISPLAYING RN DID U NOT SPEND ENOUGH TIME IN THE GUIDANCE COUNSELORS OFFICE GROWIN UP WITH THIS ATTITUDE......... ITS THE NATURAL ORDER OF SOCIAL CONSEQUENCE......... ITS SOME BASIC ‘YOU STARTED IT’ TEE MOTHERFUCKIGN EM LOGIC...? YOU HATE THEM! FOR AUTONOMY! FOR HAVING AN IDENTITY AND ENOUGH SELF RESPECT TO STICK BY IT! THEY HATE YOU BACK I THINK THEYRE ALLOWED TO ASODLKFL;SDF AAAA DUUUDE lmaoooo and like good lord, passively existing around ppl who hate you and not challenging them isnt ‘avoiding discourse’. thats. so unhealthy sdjkf what kind of underdeveloped politics.... its toxic and absolutely batshit to genuinely ask that of Anyone. like bro stop Actually expecting ppl to hate themselves for ur comfort thats.... so weird i.... are you okay hhh nah you just need to step up and try to be a regular ass person actually and have sympathetic reasoning skills. being ace is fiiiine its nbd i dont need to to change for you, im allowed to be this, and i get to ask if you’re ok with that so i dont end up in a gross ass environment.
ace =/= discourse. you dont get a say in everything my dude. we’re not here for you to analyze, we dont give you permission and we dont need Your permission to exist, we’re not asking that of you when we send those msgs we’re tryna figure out if ur gonna be a bitch or not basically lol just seeing if we’re gonna be accepted by you or if we’re wasting our time like alksd;al its so traumatizing and unnecessary and MINDBOGGLING that u think its not fucked up ?? to feel like we are supposed to accept your hate of us as our truth?? you believe we’re that awful that its Funny when we dont Realize it or smth thats just so....... what would even make you respect us. literally absolutely nothing besides not existing in front of you. so. thats hate. thats irrational unwavering hate. beyond the fact that any group always has the right to ask you if YOU hate THEM, you cant sit there and mock the mere idea of caring when you are literally giving reason for it by trying your BEST to upset them and make them feel like they deserve to feel like shit for what they are afterwards. dfgjdfkgjdlfkgfd man the hypocrisy and like complete lack of self awareness in reg culture is like novacaine for my brain its so jarring sometimes. im allowed to have a problem with you having a problem with me bc i cant fix Being smth, you can fix how you feel abt it. balls in your court ill stay waiting. im not gonna hate myself bc you’re not right xoxo get a vaccine for w/e makes you this evil and selfish pls
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Text
Survey #479
“war sends our sons to slaughter  /  another failed attack; there is no turning back”
Have you ever boycotted something? Yes: Chick-fil-A. Homophobic, transphobic pieces of shit. Has anyone ever borrowed something from you, and not returned it? Yes, a video game when I was little. I was so mad, lol. Do you vent a lot on social media? No. I don't want people to get annoyed with me. What was your first bill you started paying on your own? I haven't been responsible for any bills yet. What is your favorite charitable cause to donate to or volunteer for? I can't/don't do either really, but if I could, I'd probably donate to uhhhh... suicide prevention organizations. As for volunteering, definitely something with animals. Have you ever dated someone who wasn’t at all your usual type? No. What is something you have no patience for? Waiting at the doctor's office. Have you ever received a misdiagnosis? Yes. What’s that you’re listening to? I'm watching Gab play The Evil Within 2. What kind of relationship do you have with the last person you kissed? We're a couple. What is your biggest accomplishment in life? Still being alive. What is one thing that you really wish you could understand, but don’t? Political stuff. Economics. Have you ever been tutored or tutored someone yourself? I had an Algebra tutor the last time I was in college, and I had to strangle an anxiety attack down because I wasn't understanding the material AT ALL and felt so dumb and annoying. I never did it again. What was the last thing you said out loud (singing doesn’t count)? "It's really embarrassing," to Mom. It really is fucking humiliating that my ankles are swollen from walking/standing more and pushing my desk chair back against the resistance of the carpet. That's pathetic. I'm trying to focus on the fact it's good my body is even reacting to moving more, though. Is everything you have on actually yours? Yep. Do you ever just randomly drive around when you’re upset about something? I don't drive, but if I did, that would NOT be my method of de-stressing. What was the last act of creativity you displayed? Writing an RP post. What’s your favorite department in Wal-Mart? Uh, I guess where you can go see the plants and flowers. Do you find kite flying boring? I LOVED it as a kid. I'd still probably find it kinda fun. Do you have any interest in visiting Japan? Yes, but it's not a massive interest. I've heard the humidity can kill a bitch, and I am NOT into that. Have you ever run a cash register? Yes. I sucked. Have you ever worked as a server? No. Have you ever done the Bratz challenge on YouTube? No, but I saw James Charles do it and it was v unnerving, holy shit. Would you rather paint or carve a pumpkin? Carve. What was your worst experience in high school? My depression as a whole. How much did your senior prom dress cost you? I don't remember. Have you ever been in a serious romantic relationship? Three, if you include my current one. Which part of your body is the most muscular? Uh, nothing? What is the first site you check when you get online, generally? KM. Are you good at creative writing assignments? That's my forte. In elementary school, I actually won a I think county-wide creative writing short story assignment. Not to brag, but I've always been very proud of that, ha ha. Or would you rather just do an informative essay? That's easy for me too, but I prefer writing creatively. Are you more attracted to the badasses, or the goody-goody types? Definitely the goody-goodies. The "bad guys" have never appealed to me romantically. Do you raise your hand or participate in class? I did if I really wanted to ask something or was confident in an answer. What is something BIG you want to do with your life? Make a difference, somehow. What do you think of people who own wild animals? Do NOT just casually take in animals from the wild. That's selfish and just generally disgusting. If you're going to keep an animal generally described as wild and undomesticated, you'd better have a license and deserve that license. Know what you're doing and be certain that keeping the animal in captivity is in the animal's best interest for its unique case. Are you good at explaining things, in general? NOOOOOOOOO, I suck at that. Do you like visiting the mall? Why or why not? Not our mall, no. Its stores suck/are extremely limited, and SO much crime has happened there. Do you like window shopping? Why or why not? YESSSSSSS, mostly on Morph Market, a mostly reptile selling hub online. You can browse TONS of breeders and literally thousands of reptiles, especially ball pythons. They even have a tarantula section I like to look at sometimes. If you lost your job/home/etc., who would likely help you? If I'm losing my home, I'm assuming my mom is gone, so my dad. Why did you first kiss the last person you kissed? We were a couple and I felt like I was supposed to. At that time I didn't see him romantically, but I desperately wanted to. Funny how we're back together and I've no reservations against kissing him now. Feelings change, for sure. Plans for tonight? Girt and I will probably play some WoW Classic together. We've started playing that together, and it's lots of fun with him. :') Has anyone seen you kiss the last person you kissed? Actually, no. Have you ever been kissed in a car? Yeah. Do you think anyone has feelings for you? I know Girt does. Is there anyone in your life that knows right away something’s wrong with you? My mom. Who last made you smile? Girt, 'cuz he's a sweetheart. Where is your mother? She's in bed in her room. She feels like shit. Like, you would think she WASN'T vaccinated, though her long-time doctor has said she'd probably be dead without it while having Covid. Would you rather look at clouds or stars? Stars. Think about your biggest mistake, would you go back and change it? I absolutely would. Are you dating the person you last kissed? Yeup. What is the most immature item you own and actually use? Um. Idk. Do you always take a shower after you have sex? I... didn't know people did this? Like I know women are advised to pee after sex, but full-on showering? No. Do you like chocolate popsicles? Oh hell yeah. Are your parents proud of you? They claim to be. I don't see how. Are you interested in the ocean? Yeah; it's inarguably so fascinating. Hot dogs or hamburgers? I prefer burgers. Have you ever been to a Chinatown in any of the cities you’ve been to? No. Have you ever been to couple’s counseling? No. Do you have any dietary restrictions? No. Have you ever turned down a job offer? No. What’s the largest animal you’ve ever had as a pet? A dog named Cali that was a boxer mix. Do you ever pray, even if you don't believe in God? What exactly is the point if you don't believe in God...? Anyway, I don't. Have you ever been to Mexico? No. Have you ever gotten stuck in quicksand before? No. What's the shortest or longest length you've ever had your hair grow? To around the small of my back. The last nest you saw - was it a bird nest or a hornet's nest? I think a bird's? Do you enjoy Jeff Dunham? I don't know if I'd like him as a person, but I do think he's a funny comedian. Who is your favorite character from Frozen? I was never into the movies. I do think Elsa is kinda cool (no pun intended, lol), though. I like that she has her flaws. Did you finish high school? If not, do you plan on doing so? I did. Have you been in a simulator that mimicked a submarine or rollercoaster? A rollercoaster, yes. How often do you go out to eat instead of cooking for yourself? Mom and I try to avoid fast food for our health. We do a pretty good job at it, but sometimes for convenience's sake, we do eat it. What is the largest family of siblings that you know of? This is probably gonna come across as very judgmental, but... it really bothers me. I don't know how many kids she has now, but one of the dance moms from the studio has SO many children; I've completely lost count. Now if you want that many kids and can provide for them, that's cool. But that's not the case. She uses the "if God wants me to have a baby, then it will happen" mentality, and I'm just like... um, no hunny. Poor choices are leading to kids you're not adequately providing for. She uses no methods of protection and literally has twins whose room is a fucking closet. Ugh it just really bothers me. What foreign languages were offered to you at school? A whole lot. Only Spanish and I believe French were offered as in-school courses, but there were lots of online classes. If you were required to take a course right now, what would you choose? Photography. Team Biden or Team Trump? Over my dead body would I have voted for Trump. My vote went with Biden. What is an animal native to your country that may not exist in others? Bison are factually exclusive to North America. Note that bison and buffalo are different. What are some of your favorite autumn activities? Taking pictures of fall scenery. <3 What are some of your favorite winter activities? Going out in the snow. :') Especially with a camera. Do you eat a shit-ton the week before your period? uuugggghhHHHHHH yes Wendy's, McDonalds, or Burger King? Wendy's. What's the weirdest question you've ever asked Alexa? I've never asked Alexa anything. Do you prefer your apple cider to be warm or cold? I've actually never had it. Do you prefer your coffee hot or iced? Y'all know the story of me and coffee. Can you sing the alphabet backwards? I can't. Have you ever sent flowers or chocolates to yourself before? Ha ha, no. Is there any meat that you won't eat? Yeah, fish and ANYTHING that comes from a wild animal. Does your cat use anything other than it's scratching post as a scratcher? When we got him a scratcher WITH CATNIP, the lil butthead ignored it. -_- He scratches the carpet instead. Did you go through a vampire craze before? Are you still going through it? Nah. Have you ever forged your parents' signature on a poor test paper, etc? No. Has a bird ever pooped on you before? Omg, no. I'd die. Have you ever been sprayed by a skunk before? No. Are black jellybeans delicious or disgusting? I HATE them. Have you ever rolled down a grassy hill before? I have! I miss that.
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