#holy fuck I hate everything about me and I wish I was someone else.]
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my aunt just brought up a binder-sports-bra kind of thing she saw on good morning america to show me and i started sobbing.
#ooc. king of unpopular opinions.#[it’s so fucking thoughtful she’s never been this supportive but it’s so fucking thoughtful. I’m crying.#it’s a bad bad bad bad bad day. I’m insanely dysphoric. we’re going to see my uncle and my aunt after she gets blood work done.#which always makes me nervous. my uncle just got out of surgery and now we just have to Hope the biopsy is clear.#he’s home today and tomorrow we’ll bring him pita. hopefully this time they schedule my aunt’s treatment.#i just. i could use some nice words if that’s okay. I’ve been crying for an hour now and it shows no signs of stopping.#holy fuck I hate everything about me and I wish I was someone else.]#dysphoria /#dysphoria mention /#cancer mention /#cancer implied /
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The F*ck List (semi-official) Breakdown.
The following was submitted by my lovely ☃️anon, & I needed to make this it’s own post given how long it is, my replies & clarifications are written in between this breakdown & theory (Ex: A/N > Etc.).
Here, you’ll find majority of details you may have missed & maybe even more to think about. Enjoy :)
(wc; 5.7k) (content; spoilers ofc)
holy shit Kami. i literally had to take the entire day to process everything. before anything else, i need you to know that you've created an absolute masterpiece. TFL was the first fic i ever cared to keep up with and it has set the bar impossibly high for any other writer out there. please take your time with TFL 2, i'm so excited to read your other work!! also a break sounds like it would be so good for your mind considering how long you've dedicated yourself to this story 😭😭😭 you're seriously impressive. heads up, i didn't proofread this at all bc i finished typing this at 4 am LMFAO so forgive me if it's all scrambled and makes no sense.
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A/N > Thank you for taking the time to write this breakdown, I seriously appreciate it so I wanted to take my time in responding to it & engaging with you :)
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now, on to the yap. i deadass cracked my knuckles before typing all this out.
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A/N > You’re so real for tht ngl
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i reread the entirety of TFL from chapter 1 and my brain is so melted from analyzing that i'll prob find more details tomorrow after i sleep on some theories 😭 BUT HOLY FUCK YOU REALLY WEREN'T KIDDING WHEN YOU SAID YOU WERE HINTING AT GOJO'S OBSESSION SINCE LITERALLY THE FIRST CHAPTER??? the fucking hint being that "Gojo's desire for you is so strong it's almost frightening." GIRLLLLLL 🫵🫵🫵🫵🫵🫵
your foreshadowing and referencing is insane. idk if you intended a lot of it, but a lot of it caught my eye.
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A/N> I TOLD YOU GUYS IVE BEEN DOIN IT SINCE THE FIRST CHAPTER !! Okay not exactly but like there was a vibe I had from the first chapter & when I later came up with the twist & went back and saw that everything would connect perfectly ^.^
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chapter 7; the reader and Gojo have lighthearted banter about how the reader "started this" situation.
"I made a mistake." [reader]
"A good one."
"Bad one." You correct.
this was regarding a completely different situation but it baffled me how much it connects to the plot itself; the reader making the "mistake" of leaving her door open, and how it lead to months full of trauma and love. probably completely unintentional, but such a good detail.
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A/N > Very intentional btw, it’s supposed to be known that, in a sense, Gojo x reader is forbidden :)
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Choso's still staring at you intently, "What version of you would someone not like?"
The way he words his question only furthers that little feeling in your chest. It's almost as though he were implying that any and all versions of you would be acceptable in his eyes. - Chapter 16
THE WAY WE SHOULD HAVE KNOWN THAT CHOSO WOULD STICK BY US REGARDLESSSSSSSS AAAAAA WE'RE SO BLIND!!! i just hope this stays true to the sequel :')
"No, I wish you didn't have to hate me." He says, shutting his eyes again and sucking in a deep breath, "B-But... it's uh, It's okay. I can live with you hating me." - Chapter 21
AAAA WE SHOULD HAVE KNOWN!!!! WE SHOULD HAVE KNOWN THIS WAS FORESHADOWING OUR FUTURE WITHOUT GOJO 😭😭😭 how he can live with the idea of the reader hating him so long as she's happy with Choso, especially considering his later revelations of how twisted his actions were and how if you stuck with him, he'd view you differently. fuck.
You despise the fact that he loves you. To you, it's almost entitled for him to feel like he has that right. How dare he hold such a strong emotion for you? If he felt this way, why is he forcing you to sleep with people for him? It makes no sense.
Why would someone claim to love you and put you through so much?
If he's been in love with you all this time, why start the list in the first place? Why couldn't he have just tried to win your heart from the beginning? Why the list? Why the blackmail? You don't understand him. - Chapter 23
i'm crushed. we didn't understand because we didn't know that Sukuna was involved. that could mean a million other things. i have some far-fetched theories about this but hear me out later!!!
the entirety of chapter 23 had me fucking floored while i was rereading. THE FORESHADOWING WAS EVERYWHERE!!! EVERY FUCKING WHERE
"No sweetheart, Sukuna's an asshole but..." His expression flickers and his smile fades away. He swallows and then clears his throat, "I'm pretty sure he'll satisfy you just fine."
...
You narrow your eyes at him, "Are you sure?"
...
"Fuckin' positive," Gojo suddenly sounds pissed and you grow concerned. The arm around you gets a little tighter while he walks you through some crowds and you keep looking at the man confused.
There's a vein popping out along his jawline because of how hard he's gritting his teeth.
of course he's aggravated because he knows that Sukuna is the one behind the list in the first place 😭😭😭 I'M SORRY WE DOUBTED YOU SATORU, FUCKKKK
——FIFTEEN MINUTES. That was the exact amount of time it took you to seduce Sukuna. The act was way too easy. Actually, it was suspiciously easy.
BECAUSE HE FUCKING KNEW 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
"What all did you plan on doing tonight aside from getting harassed by strangers?" Sukuna suddenly questions against your skin.
You ignore how close he is and the way his lips make you tense, turning your head to face forward. Chuckling at his last comment, "Same thing as everyone else here." You reply, slightly confused by his question.
"Bullshit," He utters, "Nobody dresses like this without the intent of gaining my attention," Sukuna claims while his hands slide back down along your body.
this 100% could be just him being cocky and Sukuna, but the recent reveal just makes this feel like an extra demeaning interaction. but of course, it's Sukuna.
chapter 24 is so fucking shady too with everything we know. i know you addressed some of these points already bc i brought them up in previous anon messages, but these things still had me paranoid;
the way Sukuna leaves us and tells the reader to go to his room after a certain amount of time (i know he could have just been tidying up real quick but everything about this man has me on edge)
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A/N> A lot of people are on edge about this but I’ll be honest, there’s nothing crazy that happens in between this time period. Not saying nothing happens but nothing crazy— it’ll be addressed later (in the next fic most likely)
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the way he's been consistently on the phone since the reader entered the room, which is shortly after she messaged Gojo saying that she'll be able to cross Sukuna off of this list by tonight which he wasn't happy with at all.
no seriously, he kept diverting his attention to something in the bathroom and then came out, still on his phone. maybe he's talking to literally anyone else but STILL I'M PARANOID
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A/N> This is to show the fact that Sukuna is a very socially active individual, & hints to the theory (I think you later state) that he has connections.
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this happens in chapter 25 but the way he keeps smiling while the reader kisses him is just so smug of him especially considering the original reason as to why the reader's even interacting with him
then the spicy chapters with Sukuna…
the foreshadowing that the lack of knowledge of Sukuna's reputation will come back to bite her in the ass; first with the knowledge that he is abusive, and then her finding out that he is the curator of the list, knowing the full details of her blackmail and even threatening her again.
WHO DID HE FUCKING FIGHT HELPPPPP MY MIND IS BOGGLING there's no way it's Gojo, right? they're both too unscathed in these next few chapters for there to have been a fight between the two of them.
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A/N > It’s not Gojo. 🙏
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THE FUCKING MOMENT WHERE HE CONTEMPLATED SOMETHING WITH THE PHONE IN HIS HAND??? I FUCKING KNEW IT. I FUCKING CALLED IT WAS SOMETHING SHADY AS HELL.
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A/N> The other Sukuna hint I was talking about is right before this moment btw, you’re welcome ;)
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then he has the audacity to hold his tongue right afterwards?? it's such a big hint towards the fact that he knew about the list from the beginning UGHHHHHHHH.
the way he tried to humor the reader about her "job" even though he was in on the whole thing. UGH. SUKUNA WHEN I GET YOU SUKUNA?? 👊👊👊👊 especially with that "whore" joke right afterwards. i can't stand him. i know that it's implied that he has a twisted view on women from having abusive women in his life (his mom and his ex who he punched) BUT STILL. he's so lucky he's fictional and hot.
the fact that we're able to pick up on the fact that it's a "crazy coincidence" that he continues the whore jokes UGHHHHH HE HAS BEEN PLAYING US FROM THE STAAAAAARTT
Gojo got upset at something from Sukuna's party, he didn't want you to call yourself a whore all of a sudden, Sukuna seems to have believed that was your actual job, and you remember how pissed Gojo seemed as he thought about you sleeping with Sukuna-
Holy fuck. Are the two connected somehow? Is something going on? What does Gojo owe Sukuna? Does Sukuna know you only slept with him as payment to clear Gojo's debt? Is-
GIRL YOU WERE ALMOST THERE!!!! YOU ALMOST HAD IT!!!
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A/N > I love teasing in my narration by nearly spoiling things 😹
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seriously though, these chapters killed me. the official end obliterated my heart. it's so fucking bittersweet i want to scream at the top of a high building. the reader ends up happy and with someone she loves, which is fantastic for her. she deserves that after everything she went through. Choso treats her so, so well.
but Gojo. with the theories i have, i feel horrible. i was so harsh towards him as a die hard Choso girly but these endings changed me. i just hope i'm right.
the fact that his healing journey is harsher than ours makes this ending sting so much. he's healed, and you can see it with his demeanor from the call and the way he interacted with the reader.
we were always made aware of the way he looked at us such deep attachment. the initial gleam shows that he's happy to see us, but that he's not reliant on us for his happiness anymore. he's finding that on his own, and it's a grueling process for him. i wished the reader gave him a hug, but that would probably make me feel even worse.
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A/N> He gave her a lil side hug (with his arm over her shoulder) & was resting his head on hers at the end if that makes you feel any better 😅
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"Through my blackmailing, I fell for you but I also did it because I loved you from the start." i'm gonna throw up bro i'm so sad. i'm proud of his growth. his obsession was so, so strong but he always prioritized the reader's happiness over himself. i know that being self-sacrificial is so core to his personality but it doesn't make it suck any less. i'm devastated. i started blasting mitski in the car on my way to work after reading this.
i thought i was ready for the journal burning. i was so ready for this tie to be severed, for them to finally move on. but i failed to realize that it could ultimately mean a life without each other. it makes sense as to why, but it still sucks.
kami i need that poly ending before i cry my eyes out at 4 am rn. you know i can't handle angst, but bittersweet endings lowkey hurt me even more. i need all my babies to be happy. i desperately need it.
but that alt ending... fuck. in a horrible, sick, and twisted way, i'm relieved. i'm a Choso girly from the bottom of my heart but i can't let this Gojo go omfg. even if he shows up for one more chapter, i think i'll be alright. BUT IT BETTER NOT BE FOR DEATH KAMI!!!! I HAVE A FEW EXCERPTS THAT SUGGEST DEATH FLAGS BUT I AM SIMPLY NOT LOOKING AT THEM. DON'T DO THIS TO ME KAMIIIIIII. i need this boy to be frolicking in a field of flowers or something. my heart can't take this.
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A/N> I know I reference death a lot but that’s just to add a sense of how dramatic the characters are 🫶
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okay, time for my mind-fucky theory. pls bare with me. if it wasn't obvious by my last post, i'm 100% on board with the theory that Sukuna's blackmailing Gojo, which started this whole thing. but the thing that is getting me is how this all connects. i have some assumptions that could make sense, but there are a handful of gaps. here's my thought process;
Sukuna's blackmailing Gojo by using his obsession/love against him.
we are already familiar with the fact that Gojo has liked the reader for years. there was a chapter where Gojo mentioned that it started off as a "crush" but he was so oblivious to his own obsession up until the reader mentioned it to him. it's to the point that he didn't understand what was wrong with the idea of hurting people for the reader. who's to say that Sukuna didn't catch him in some sort of heinous act regarding the reader like stalking?
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A/N > You’re cooking with this one and I almost, almost had to go get the fire extinguisher :D
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Gojo didn't understand the difference between love and obsession until later on in the story. this would be consistent with the implication that Gojo just loved her so deeply that his morals were askew as we have yet to find out how far his love goes.
what if Sukuna caught him in the act of doing god knows what, and brought up the fact that if the reader found out about this, that she'd get super freaked out and would do everything she can to get away from him (considering probably barely knew each other, if at all, at this point). but why would Sukuna devise such a plan over a money bribe? well, Sukuna's already revealed to be wealthy, and maybe he was bored. the same line that Gojo kept repeating to the reader whenever she questioned him as to why he did it. what if Gojo asked Sukuna why he's blackmailing him, and he said the exact same thing; "I was bored." we see how much Sukuna mirrors Gojo's speech by calling the reader "sweetheart" often, what if Gojo did the same thing?
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A/N > Gojo & Sukuna do have a few parallels in this story & they will be addressed more in the sequel.
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we wondered in chapter 23 how Gojo reaches out to these men to ensure their debt is "paid," but considering how oblivious everyone else on the list is to Gojo owing them anything, it would make sense that he only reports to Sukuna as he is ordered to do so. but two things stumped me on this theory overall.
the reader said that she used to party a lot and get involved with boys before Gojo. if he was stalking her for so long, why did he wait so long to approach her?
what specifically would be the blackmail that Sukuna has on Gojo?
regarding the first point, it's been mentioned that Gojo has been "scared of women" and was shy when it came to approaching the reader. he knew of her for so long, but was able to constantly slip under her radar. considering how much of a pervert he is, it wouldn't have been surprising for him to sneak around and watch in on the reader hooking up with other guys. after all, these guys were probably complete strangers to him and all he cared about was you. remember how Gojo was basically able to tune out his own best friend, Suguru, when the reader was hooking up with him in their living room? it wouldn't be wild to assume that he was able to do the same for your other hookups as he spied on you.
to connect this with second point, what if Sukuna caught Gojo being a peeping tom on the reader during a party hook-up? while being so distracted in the act of spying, Sukuna spots him. the reader wouldn't be alright with the fact that someone who's barely an acquaintance (if that, depending on the time this occurred) to her has been perving around and watching her have sex without her consent. she would do anything to get away from Gojo, and of course that would crush him. Gojo tried to buy Sukuna's silence by any means necessary. so, Sukuna generated a list of people that he and Gojo mutually knew for the reader to fuck. the reasoning for it would be the fact that Gojo has to sit through the process of having the girl he likes fuck a bunch of guys besides him, and the fact that Gojo knew all these men would make it sting more. plus, he has a reputation for hookups. (chapter 8)
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A/N > You’re like RIGHT there with it and yet not there at the same time omg 😟
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but why would Gojo agree to this deal with Sukuna, and why would he also go with the method of blackmailing the reader? it's basically a guarantee that the reader would be scared away regardless. but again, we could recall that Shoko mentioned that he was too "scared of women" to approach the reader at first. this was his chance to finally approach her. plus, "once that video is gone, there is no excuse he'll have to be around you." (chapter 8)
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but the more i thought of this reasoning for the two points, the more bizarre it felt. so what if instead of Gojo being a peeping tom, it was Sukuna. we get so many hints that Sukuna has eyes and intel everywhere. we get an indirect implication of this when he called us out for rolling our eyes during our phone call with him. yes, it could be completely by chance, but it's still a great hint that he "sees everything" and "knows everything." we get an even bigger hint towards this in the alt ending when he directly references The F*ck List.
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A/N > Others have taken note of how Sukuna knew she rolled her eyes but trust me, that’s just to show that Sukuna knows the reader’s body language more than he’s let on & paid attention to her a lot during the time they were together.
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it wouldn't be too far fetched to assume that he has some shady videos taken of people without his consent, some possibly acquired through other people (like how Gojo was revealed to have sent Sukuna the video of the reader from the first chapter). what if Gojo caught Sukuna with the video, threatened him to delete it, and Sukuna counterthreatened to have it be sent and posted everywhere. it would be highly ironic, but consistent with the way that Gojo and Sukuna practically mirror each other at times. the reasoning for the list choices would still be the same for this theory, too.
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my citations for these theories ☝️🤓
“You once asked me if I love you because I blackmailed you or if I blackmailed you because I love you and my answer is both,” Gojo confesses as he turns to meet your gaze, “Through my blackmailing, I fell for you but I also did it because I loved you from the start.” - Chapter 56
loved you from the start; his obsession has been consistent from the start (supports Gojo being a peeping tom theory) or he has always had a deep concern for you (supports him wanting to stop Sukuna from spreading blackmail of you instead).
“I’ve sacrificed everything for you, y’know.”
“How? What’s everything that you’ve sacrificed, hm?”
“You. I sacrificed the woman I love to make her happy.” Gojo admits, and of all he’s said thus far, that feels like the truest statement.
“I could’ve been happy with you.” You remind him.
He laughs, “Yeah well, I’m an idiot.”
You scoff, “That’s all you have to say?”
“Yup.” - Chapter 56
is he an idiot for being a peeping pervert instead of just approaching you normally? maybe. how does this make her happy? she ends up finding love through Choso, through the list, through the blackmail.
But deleting the video means ... he has no more leverage over you and can't force you to help him with the hole he's dug for himself. - Chapter 8
the hole being the blackmail set against him by Sukuna.
Gojo's behind you cursing at himself for being unable to tell you the truth.
He's so scared that you'll never help him without the blackmail and, well, he has every right to be because you're pretty sure that if it weren't for those videos he has over your head, you wouldn't be doing any of this. - Chapter 9
the videos he's referencing is the original video from chapter 1 and the fake video he lied about with Suguru, but he can't tell the reader the truth because it's too twisted and risky (supports Gojo peeping tom theory).
He silences himself in thought. There are so many ways he could go about answering such a question but the possibilities of how you may react are endless. Plus, you're drunk and if he's going to admit or explain anything to you, it'll be while you're sober.
"Because..." Gojo's voice gets so quiet that you almost don't catch what he says, "...I don't have any other choice." - Chapter 21
if he didn't go through with his list, Sukuna would have went through with Gojo's blackmail, thus resulting in either you getting as far away from Gojo as soon as possible or Sukuna's video being sent around.
He let something slip abruptly, "W-Wish I c-could tell you everything, sweets..."
Your brows furrow at that.
Are you missing something here? - Chapter 22
YES GIRL!!!! SUKUNA'S BEHIND THE WHOLE LIST, HE'S BEHIND THE BLACKMAIL GIRLYPOP
"Anything," Gojo says, meeting your gaze. He's so serious that it's almost dark the way he looks at you, "I'd do anything for you." - Chapter 29
"I meant it when I said I'd do anything for you."
You follow his motions and then end up right back in his arms, "Right..."
"I'd sacrifice the very thing I love just to see you happy." Gojo claims proudly.
You scoff, "Thought' I was the thing you loved?"
"You are."
His words bewilder you, "Then that makes no sense."
"It won't." Gojo shrugs. - Chapter 29
🧍♀️
anything. even if it means putting your body, heart, mind, and career on the line. directly supports the theory that Sukuna initially had blackmail on the reader.
"We're the same, y'know..." He suddenly says, his voice breaking again, "We both want someone so terribly bad but our situations prohibit us from getting that person."
"You could've prevented all this though..."
Gojo sniffles and you feel a drop of wetness slide down his cheek and slip against your palm. The man was crying? Why? - Chapter 30
this whole time we've been told that Gojo and the reader share more similarities than the reader realizes. what Gojo is to the reader, the reader is to Choso. while Choso now knows of the men that the reader slept with, he doesn't know why. he doesn't know about you being blackmailed. you know that you had to sleep with these men. you don't know why. you didn't know it was because of Gojo being blackmailed.
"For loving me, Satoru. It's not a crime," You say, mocking a comment he made to you earlier, "You're allowed to love me. So, for that, and that only, I forgive you."
Those words healed so many more wounds in his heart than you realized. It was like that was all he ever needed to hear. If Gojo's mistake was loving you and that's what caused this, then you forgive him.
If in some twisted way, his feelings started the list, you forgive him.
COME ON NOW.
There’s so much going unspoken but the two of you knew what either was saying, you understood each other more than either of you realized. - Chapter 35
“Well,” Gojo sighs heavily and then draws your hands off his face, leaning down to you a bit, “Sometimes, sacrifices need to be made in exchange for one’s happiness.”
“Are you telling me that all this was for the greater good?” You quiz as you raise a curious brow.
“Something like that, yeah,” He shrugs. - Chapter 45
You tell him, “If I had one wish, it’d be that you did that from the beginning.”
Gojo opens his mouth to say something but then he swallows his words down. He nearly fucked up.
“All you had to do was talk to me,” Your shoulders raise into a shrug as you move a hand to the doorknob, “Things could’ve been different if you did.”
“Even if I’ve been obsessed with you since the beginning?” He questions and he’s stepping closer to you again. He can’t possibly wrap his head around that possibility-
You laugh a bit, “Especially if you were obsessed from the beginning,” You didn’t know it but that statement right there made the man feel as though his world was falling apart, loads of regret tumbling over him as he stares at you with wide eyes, “Satoru I think you forgot but, before all this started, aside from Shoko… I was lonely.”
Gojo’s throat goes dry and he fails to form a response to that, “I…”
“If you had just talked to me one time, and more than a hey or how are you,” The way your eyes soften, a slim sheer gloss of tears coating your gaze as you speak to him, “I would’ve fallen for you.”
He grits his teeth, “Don’t tell me that.”
“But it’s true.” You say.
And just like that, Gojo was crumbling all over again. If only you knew how much he regretted everything after hearing you say that. - Chapter 46
if he had just spoke to the reader before all of this, maybe she wouldn't have gone to those parties, hooked up with those people, and caused whatever kind of blackmail Sukuna had on Gojo (or on her).
He wishes he could take it all back, his feelings for you included. If only he could go back and stop himself from ever being curious about you. That’s what started it after all. Because, at the end of the day, Gojo knew who you were before you knew who he was— hell, even before Shoko knew who you were. - Chapter 53
then what is the timeline of his obsession starting? has it been before Gojo? could his blackmail have taken place even before Shoko introduced you two, adding to the weight of the threat that Sukuna held over Gojo's head (regarding the peeping tom theory).
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A/N > The timeline on Gojo’s interest, not obsession just yet, on the reader will be addressed in the sequel so this’ll be answered there <3
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but there were certain parts that stumped me and my theories so i have some weird reasonings around them;
It's selfish of him and seriously fucked up but, he's said it before and he'll say it over and over again-- you're all he has. He made promises to everyone on that list, promises of delivering a woman to them at some point, and of course, he couldn't convince anyone he knew to do such a thing.
So again, the situation with you just happened to be a coincidence.
The problem is that Gojo hates that it's you. He hates that you're the one he ended up doing this to. - Chapter 8
Gojo's known to be a silly guy so it could make sense that he actually did promise these guys hookups for reasons unrelated to his blackmail. after all, he does have a reputation for getting people hookups. the coincidence is that Sukuna now has dirt on Gojo and wants to toy with him. by making the reader sleep with them the guys he coincidentally owes hookups to, he fulfills his role/reputation and relieves his debt at the same time. two birds, one stone.
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A/N > As we later learn that some of the “debt” Satoru claimed to have isn’t real, we can also infer that his reputation & the promises he’s made to these men were done out of coincidence. Take Toji for example; tell me you can’t see an interaction between him & Gojo where Gojo gets a bad grade and wants to get it up so he taunts his professor with the idea of getting him a hookup & Toji would laugh it off considering Gojo’s reputation ;)
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another thing that stumped me is why Gojo got so worked up with the reader referring herself as a whore, and the connection to Sukuna. my delulu reasoning is that once Sukuna threatened Gojo with blackmail by either of the two theories/methods i mentioned, Sukuna casually referred to the reader as a whore. that caused a major fight between the two, possibly even getting physical (which can refer back to the implication that Gojo has hurt people for the reader).
the fight could have increased the tension and severity of the situation, so Sukuna decides to add Choso to the list knowing how easily attached Choso gets. in chapter 5, the reader and Gojo were discussing the list and Choso specifically. Gojo was even noted to be relieved when the reader had mentioned that they'll just have to hope that Choso doesn't get attached, as he obviously holds deep feelings for the reader. Sukuna knows that by going through with the blackmail with Choso involved, Gojo most likely will not end up with the reader if Choso get attached and the reader reciprocates those feelings.
also, the counterargument that Sukuna and Gojo are actually friends/allies in this situation just doesn't sit well with me. it would make for a crazy twist but it just feels too out of character for Gojo. but then again, how would Sukuna specifically know about The F*ck List? but idk, it just feels so wrong to me. maybe i have too much faith in Gojo lmfao. after all, he has consistently shown a great dislike towards the guy since chapter 23. but maybe it's my denial speaking. i really don't want to think of Satoru going through this whole arc only for it to reveal that he truly is a piece of shit. pls don't do this to my pookie my heart cannot handle it </3
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A/N > Remember, Gojo is a good actor & you go a long period of time in the book not realizing he’s not as much of a villain as he pretends to be 😉
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there's that moment after the reader fucked Sukuna that still messes with my brain. with my theories, my brain's thinking that he contemplated on collecting even more blackmail on the reader. for what reason? idk, to be an ass? to torment Gojo further and add more to his blackmail? but maybe he decided not to because he already has plenty of blackmail on the reader (if the theory of Sukuna having a video of her from way back then is true) and fucking her knowingly made Gojo pissed considering all the dirt Sukuna has.
so why can't Gojo tell her the truth now? why does he want to wait years in advance? maybe he's hoping that by that time, not only will you forget and not care about the situation overall, but maybe Sukuna will forget all about it as well. the chances of Sukuna holding on to the reader's blackmail for that long is slim and the reader would most likely be in a situation where she is completely separated from Sukuna depending on her job and living situation with Choso. the stakes are lower than if he were to reveal everything to you now, at a moment where your life is still so uncertain. it would go against his wish for you to end up happy.
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A/N > Maybe Gojo doesn’t tell her the truth because he can’t, just as he said 🌚 Perhaps he’s not allowed to yet. After all, why would Sukuna even tell the reader he made the list in the end? ^.^ Just some food for thought!
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regarding the future of TFL... fuck, bro. i have no fucking idea. i'm too caught up in the (presumed) past. i'm mourning fr. i love this fic sooooo fucking much. whenever you decide to pick up on the sequel, i will be there. if you choose to publish anything else in the meantime, i will be there. thanks for such a fun and memorable read, Kami. i'm excited to bookbind this soon 🤍🤍🤍 now, i need to watch blue lock to shove these feelings down.
yap fin (for now)
-☃️
A/N > I love you sosoosooooo much for this. These theories are like reading an entirely new fanfic sometimes except, I know all the answers & what’s going to happen next, which only makes me more excited ^.^ Thank you for taking the time to make this, thank you for reading, thank you for supporting, just, THANK YOU.
This right here is exactly what I write for; people like you :)
To the others reading this breakdown & theory, thank ☃️anon because she’s a damn godsend & ilhsm ^.^ (definitely showing favoritism rn, sorry not sorry, ily all I swear)
Edit; Since you’re watching Blue Lock, I can’t wait to bring my Shidou fanfic here because a lot of the drama in TFL has inspo from that fic, which I wrote first ^.^ & I could totally see you enjoying it because not only is it a childhood friends to lovers than enemies & back to lovers troupe BUT it also includes Itoshi Sae x reader which ofc, adds hella drama :))
P.S. It’s two am as I finally post this and omg sorry it took me a while, I wanted to answer other anons first before unpacking this badboy, again, tysm!!
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omg i loved the chris imagine so much holy shit
if youve heard the song, could you perhaps do an imagine (chris sturniolo x reader) based on the song Ant Pile by dominic fike?
it doesnt have to be a song fic necessarily, but like just kinda based on it yk? completely up to you!!
fave song fr 🙏🙏
ant pile - c.s
pairings: chris sturniolo x reader
summary: based on the song 'ant pile' by dominic fike
warning(s): mentions of drugs
a/n: i'm not too familiar with this song so i'm sorry if anything is wrong!! i tried my best :)
not proofread
"remember the day we met?" he asks and i groan
"i wish i didn't" i say laughing
"wait what happened?" matt asks and i look at chris, letting him explain the story
"first grade, someone tied her to a fucking ant pile" chris explains
"how do you tie someone to an ant pile??" nick shouts
i remember back then, i always knew chris liked me.
then we went to highschool and we started dating..
9TH GRADE:
i push chris against my locker
"hey! ow!" he says and i shush him
"sorry! i just missed you" i say hugging him
"lets go home before my mom gets there" i say, sadness evident in my voice as i grab chris's hand and lead him outside
chris has always been there for me, espically in highschool when the whole thing with my mom went down..
the triplets and marylou let me stay with them for a while because of that whole incident
ever since my dad passed away, she'd bring home a different lover everyday
she even threw her wedding ring away, i had to ding through the trash to find it.
the worst part was, i still loved her, a lot.
chris knew that and even though i didn't understand my feelings, he was good at helping me understand them
espically when all my mom did was drugs.
8TH GRADE:
it's the first day of 8th grade and i'm terrified.. i haven't seen chris since last summer
i look so different..
i walk into school, on my way to my locker, but i stop in my tracks seeing chris
we catch eye contact and he immediately walks towards me
he kisses me unexpectedly and i smile, hugging him.
9TH GRADE:
chris has decided to take me on a date..
i'm really nervous, espically because i didn't have anyone to help me get ready
but i think i look fine, i hope i look fine atleast..
chris picks me up and go to watch a movie.. which was awful
so we then went to dinner, what could go wrong at dinner?
turns out everything because i ended up being allergic to the pasta they gave me.
as chris is driving me home, silence filling the car, he pulls over looking towards me
"let me get a redo. anywhere you wanna go, you can pick it and i'll meet you there"
whats the worst that could happen next evening?
today was the worst it can get.
10TH GRADE:
"i love you" chris says and i look at him, wide eyed
"i've seen you fall to pieces, i've loved you since that day in first grade when you got tied to that ant pile, i love you y/n" he says
theres no more ways this boy can suprise me.
i look at him, seeing his expresssion one unfamiliar, one filled with love.
i run up to him, hugging him.
putting my hands on his face, i kiss him.
"i love you too chris" i say
"how the fuck did we go from you telling us about y/n being tied to an ant pile.. to now telling us your whole relationship story??" nick asks
"sorry! i got carried away" chris says and i laugh
"chris you're a little too enthusiastic at our weird cringe love story" i say and he rolls his eyes
"yeah yeah sure i am" he responds and nick and matt look at eachother in disgust
"can we talk about something else now?" matt says
a/n: i'm not even gonna re-read this because i think i hate it, so i'm so sorry to whoever requested this and i hope i did okay!!
TAGLIST:
@strniolo @stargirlv0id @annaisabookworm
#chris sturniolo#sturniolo triplets#chris sturniolo fanfic#chris sturniolo x reader#matt sturniolo x reader#matt sturniolo headcannons#matt sturniolo#fluff#nick sturniolo#christopher sturniolo#sturniolo#nick sturniolo fanfic#matt fanfic#matthew x reader#madispeaks!
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And All the Pieces Fall Right Into Place
I'll Write Your Name Chapter 2
Roy Kent x Latina!Popstar!Reader
3.7k words
Warnings: Language, adults drinking adult things, a smidge of slut-shaming, sexual references, immature adults, Roy being Roy
Holi Dani! I’m back in town. Let’s get together tonight! I miss you!
Under April’s watchful eye, I typed my text to Dani Rojas and hit send. I knew full well that the Greyhounds had a game; Keeley Jones had sent me their schedule, after all. Step one of the most insane idea in the world was officially in motion.
“Remember, you can’t seem too desperate,” April reminded me as we lounged in my living room. “We don’t want it to be obvious that you’re fishing for an invite. Just be really subtle, like ‘Oh you have a match? Wow I’ve never been to one.’ You know?”
I nodded. “Yeah, I know, I know.”
Bzz!
Dani’s quick response would have been surprising if it was anyone else; but Dani Rojas was the friendliest, most accommodating person I knew. Since we first met at a party for some tequila brand back in L.A., Dani and I immediately clicked. Our paths crossed frequently enough in London, and I considered him one of my favorite people in England. We bonded over our shared desire to find good pan dulce in London and how much we missed our big, crazy families when we were away. It wouldn’t be too hard to finagle an invitation to his game, right?
Aww chula, I wish! I’ve got a fútbol match tonight.
Just as I was crafting a text that would score me a ticket to Nelson Road, another message came in.
You should come!
“Well, shit,” I laughed, showing April my screen. “That was almost too easy.”
My assistant- sidekick and soulmate, I preferred to call her- chuckled and started typing on her own phone. “I’ll let Keeley and Lanie know that our mission is complete. And I’ll take care of getting your ticket. All you have to worry about now is looking hot and having a good meet-cute.” She paused, pursing her lips. “You and Kent… you two can flirt with each other, right?”
“The heck’s that supposed to mean?” I snorted as I texted Dani back, letting him know that I would love to go to his game.
She shrugged. “You two just didn’t seem to like each other very much.” Her matter-of-fact tone held no emotion. “You’re going to have to pull some Daniel Day-Lewis level acting for this to work.” April grinned at me. “I mean, your goal is to get an EGOT, right? Maybe your Oscar will be for acting.”
I couldn’t help but chuckle as Dani texted me back, all excitement. “Well, just call me Meryl, because that’s how good my acting will have to be to get people to think I’m into someone like Roy Kent.”
April’s face softened. “You’ve gotta admit,” she said slowly, “he’s pretty cute.”
“Cute?” I rolled my eyes. “I mean, sure, I could see how he could be considered handsome by some people. I could totally see him with models and shit. But if you’re worried about me falling for the guy, don’t stress.” I slouched further into my couch. “No way in hell am I falling for Roy freaking Kent.”
~
Keeley grinned and showed her phone to Roy. “She got Dani to invite her!” she hissed to the manager as they ate lunch together in his office. “Everything’s going according to plan.”
“Yeah,” Roy muttered flatly as he poked at his food. “Great.”
What the fuck had he gotten himself into? He hated this kind of shit, the paparazzi and attention. And he hated her party-girl lifestyle, always out at clubs. And what the fuck were they supposed to talk about on the dates Keeley would surely make them go on? He liked football, hanging out with Phoebe, reading… What did she like? Flirting with scrawny rockstars? Stealing her best friend’s boyfriend (according to the tabloid he’d noticed at the store that morning)? Her Malibu Barbie Dreamhouse, or wherever it was she lived when she was in Los Angeles? And he was going to have to endure months of this. Fucking hell.
But it was for Keeley, he reminded himself as he watched the blonde munch happily on her salad. She’d asked him to do something, something she knew he’d hate, and he said ‘yes’ without complaint. That had to mean something, right? Surely that would earn him a few points with her, maybe even enough to forget about the whole ‘pick one’ shit he and Jamie had pulled. She’d definitely see how above and beyond Roy was willing to go for her and remember why she had loved him, wouldn’t she?
Besides, seeing him with an admittedly gorgeous popstar on his arm might even make Keeley a smidge jealous.
“It’s gonna work.” Keeley’s reassuring voice penetrated his thoughts. “I know it is. You wouldn’t believe who’s gotten away with this scheme. You know that actor from-”
I’m drunk in the back of the car and I cried like a baby coming home from the bar
Roy stood, frowning in the direction of the suddenly bolstering changing room. “What the fuck is that?”
Keeley grinned as she hopped up and followed his gaze to the sight of Jamie and Colin and a few other guys shaking their hips and singing along. “Your new girlfriend,” she whispered with a wink. “Come on, Roy, you know this one. It was only her big hit last summer.”
“Hmmph.” Yeah, he recognized the catchy tune that still seemed to always be on the radio all these months later; Phoebe’d made him play it about twenty times in the car just that week. But why the fuck was his team screeching it while they got ready for their afternoon training?
Jamie’s smile widened at the sight of Roy and Keeley. “Oi! Did ya hear Dani’s news?”
“What’s up?” Keeley asked, as if she didn’t know exactly what Jamie was about to say.
Sure enough, Jamie pointed in the direction of Colin’s little speaker, where the music was blasting from. “She’s comin’! To our game tonight!” He looked just about ready to do a cartwheel. “Apparently, she and Dani are buddies, and he invited her to watch us! Can you believe it?”
“You’re kidding!” Keeley gasped convincingly, smacking Jamie on the arm. “How the fuck did he never tell us they’re friends?” She glanced at Roy before turning back to Jamie. “D’you reckon he’ll get her to go out with you boys tonight? Or is she too famous for our little Greyhounds?”
Richard appeared over Jamie’s shoulder. “I hope so,” he sighed. “She recently broke up with her boyfriend.” He waggled his eyebrows. “She’ll be looking for a rebound, no?”
Roy rolled his eyes. Shit, was this going to be an even bigger distraction than he thought, he realized. For the millionth time since he stood in Keeley’s office and signed the NDA, Roy was regretting this decision. But when he saw the excitement shining in Keeley’s eyes as she watched the Greyhounds dance around, he couldn’t help the soft sigh he let out.
Fuck, he hoped it was worth it.
~
I took one last look in the mirror. Little jean skirt, black leather jacket, boots. April had assured me that the outfit was perfect: casual enough for a game, stylish enough for a night out with the team, hot enough to catch the attention of Roy Kent. Or at least, look like I’d caught the attention of Roy Kent.
The car ride to Nelson Road was quicker than I’d expected, and the walk to my seat was a blur of phones taking photos and my name gasped out of people’s mouths. I wondered if, with all the time I’d be spending at Nelson Road in the coming weeks, the reaction would die down. Or if, like Keeley Jones had implied towards the end of our first meeting, my presence would lead to a spike in attendance.
She seemed to be hoping for the latter, because she made sure my seat was very visible: right by the pitch, close to the Greyhounds’ dugout. Even if I wasn’t the biggest soccer fan, I had to admit it was exciting being so close to the field; I quickly snapped a few pictures to send to my family, who would appreciate the view much more than I ever could.
When the team came out, I joined in the enthusiastic cheers and screams, shouting Dani’s name loudly. His face lit up when he spotted me, and I saw him nudging his teammates and pointing in my direction. Keeley had warned me about their reactions; indeed, they were grabbing each other and making faces similar to the ones my nephew made when he saw Mickey Mouse on his first trip to Disneyland.
“Whistle!”
The two syllables slammed against my ears. There he was, no longer in the black leather jacket I’d met him in, but instead wearing a dark blue Greyhounds jacket. One of the players- Jamie Tartt, I remembered- started animatedly talking to a very bored-looking Roy Kent. With one of those eyerolls that I knew I’d have to get used to seeing, he turned in my direction.
Despite my initial instinct to roll my own eyes, I instead forced myself to hold his gaze for a moment. A horrified thought suddenly struck me: Could Roy Kent pull this off?
Then his mouth tugged upwards in the corner, forming an admittedly sexy little smirk. In return, I let my eyes wander down his figure, taking in the way his jacket hugged his muscular arms and the way his pants hugged thick thighs. Damn. If I hadn’t already met him, if I hadn’t already discovered what a cranky and irritable grouch Roy Kent was, I’d probably be attracted to his smug expression and athletic build. He wasn’t my usual type, but I couldn’t deny that he was, frankly, kind of gorgeous.
He gave me a curt nod of acknowledgement before turning back to his team and shouting at them, his sharp yell reminding me that I was here for a reason. Remembering Keeley’s instructions, I pulled out my phone and snapped a couple of photos of the pitch, making sure to get Roy and the other Greyhounds in the frame. I quickly posted the picture to my social media and tagged Dani in it, as Keeley had suggested.
With the “official business” out of the way, I relaxed in my seat and prepared to at least appear to look like I was enjoying the game. Figuring that there were eyes and cameras pointed in my direction, I made myself steal several glances at Roy Kent; he must have been thinking the same thing, because more than once, he was already looking over at me.
~
Roy sighed when he looked over at the corner where most of the Richmond players were assembled, practically falling over themselves to get in a word with her.
It was a bit perplexing, honestly. These men were professional athletes. They regularly dated models and actresses. But this singer, this popstar, had them falling all over themselves trying to chat her up. Sure, Roy thought, her level of fame was pretty fucking impressive. She’d won a couple of Grammys, her songs were constantly on the radio, and he’d heard her latest tour was practically impossible to get tickets for. So maybe some of their fawning was justified.
He glanced at his phone, wishing he was at home in bed already. With a deep exhale, he made a beeline for Dani; the sooner he got this over with, the sooner he could leave, he reasoned.
“Oi,” Roy grunted as he approached the striker. He nodded towards the swarm of players, doing his best to keep his trademark disinterested expression on his face. “You going to introduce me to your friend?”
Dani’s eyes sparkled knowingly. “You too, eh Coach?” He chuckled and clapped Roy on the shoulder. “Vámonos.”
Roy’s heart stuttered in his chest as he followed Dani to the corner of the club, where he saw, of all people, Jamie sitting close to the singer, murmuring something in her ear. She laughed at whatever he said and responded with a smile on her face. Her eyes flickered to Roy as he approached; was that… disappointment he saw?
If it was, it was only there for a fraction of a second. Just like on the pitch, her eyes trailed over his figure, a small smirk forming on her lips. If he didn’t know better, Roy would be intrigued by the boldness on her face, the uninhibited way she eyed him. In the back of his head, he couldn’t help feeling a bit smug when he saw the way Jamie’s brows furrowed as the striker looked back and forth between the two.
She kept her eyes on Roy as she stood up and stepped away from Jamie and the guys. She batted her lashes at Roy before turning to Dani, her eyebrows raised expectantly.
Shit, Roy thought. She’s good at this.
“Chula,” Dani said, smiling at his friend. “I want you to meet my coach, Roy.” He turned to Roy. “Coach, this is-”
Roy reached out and took her hand in his and shaking it slowly. “Only an idiot doesn’t know who you are,” he hummed, raising his eyebrows. “You caused quite a stir with my team, you know. You enjoy the match?”
She nodded, giving his hand a squeeze before letting go. “I did. Sorry if I was a bit of a distraction.”
“I think you actually brought us luck.” Fucking hell, when was the last time Roy flirted like this? Was he doing it right? “You should come again sometime.”
Her smile widened as she tilted her head coyly. “Well, if that’s an invitation, maybe I will.”
Desperate to end this charade, Roy cleared his throat. “Have these fellas bought you a drink yet?” When she shook her head, he rolled his eyes playfully. “Fucking hell, guess I need to remind them what fucking manners look like.” With that, he placed his hand on her lower back and nodded towards the bar. “Come on, then.”
She winked at Dani and let Roy lead her to the bar, keeping that coy smile plastered on her face. Once they had ordered, she looked up at him, still smirking.
“Kent,” she hissed through gritted teeth. “Watch your fucking hands.”
Sure enough, Roy realized that his hand was dangerously low, just above the curve of her ass. Shit.
Despite his embarrassment, Roy scoffed, although he did remove his hand. “You’re a natural at that flirting shit,” he all but sneered. “Then again, I’m sure you’ve had plenty of practice, with all your shaggy little rockstar pricks.”
Her eyes narrowed for a fraction of a second as the bartender slid over her drink. Still, she kept her expression neutral; to anyone watching them, she looked as though she was enjoying their conversation. “Oh, I’m sorry.” Her snarky tone contrasted with her sweet face. “Tell me more about the women who sell stories about your dick to the press and steal your watches?”
“Oi,” Roy growled as he picked his beer up off the bar. “That happened once, alright?”
“You mean it got into the papers once,” she grumbled, sipping her drink. She raised her eyebrows at him. “So, what’s the plan?”
Roy frowned. “Fuck d’you mean? We’re doing the fucking plan.”
She shook her head. “Like, are you going to ask me to dance? Are we taking off and going to a restaurant or some shit?” Roy avoided looking at the way her lips wrapped around her little straw as she sipped her drink. “Keeley said it’s up to us, just no going home together on the first night.” The little snort she gave would’ve been adorable coming from anyone else. “As if.”
“Well, I guess if we dance, we don’t have to fucking talk,” Roy muttered, doing his best to mirror her amiable expression; it was challenging, he realized, looking cheery while feeling irritated as hell. He downed the rest of his beer and practically slammed the empty bottle on the bar. “One song, alright? I don’t usually fucking dance.”
“Trust me,” she hummed, finishing the last of her drink. “For me, you’d make an exception.” Flashing what he assumed was her most winning smile, she took Roy’s hand and led him to the crowded dance floor.
On the dance floor, she pressed her body close to his, her movements teasing and natural. Everything about her- her hips, her smile, her eyes on his, the way her hands played with her hair flirtatiously- would have normally had Roy’s chest feeling tight with attraction.
She brought her lips to his ear, looking as though she was probably flirting with him. “I swear to God,” she hissed. “If you get a boner, I will fucking kill you.”
Yeah. Right.
~
Officially introduced? Check.
Flirted? Check.
Had a drink together? Check.
Danced? Check.
We’d gone through enough of the motions. There was no way I was going to spend more time with Kent than I had to; we’d be thrown together enough in the coming weeks once the “dating” began. Besides, Keeley had warned me that Roy didn’t like to stay out late anymore. He was probably even more ready to call it a night than I was.
Sure enough, after a couple of songs, he gave a small grunt and looked at his phone.
“Should get going,” he grumbled.
“Why?” I huffed, fluffing my hair. “Will you fall asleep right here on the dance floor soon?”
He narrowed his eyes at me. “Anyone ever tell you you’re a real ball of fucking sunshine?”
“That’s an improvement from nightmare.” I exhaled and tugged at his jacket. “C’mere.”
Roy’s eyes widened. “Why?”
“So I can say goodnight, you idiot. Someone’s bound to take a photo of this.” Not waiting for an answer, I pulled his face close to mine and planted a small, lingering kiss on his cheek. His face was warm, a little itchy from his beard, and now carried a little red mark from my lipstick. I smiled up at him and released his jacket. “Goodnight, Roy Kent,” I hummed.
He cleared his throat and gave a curt nod. “Right. Goodnight, then.” He reached down and gave my hand a squeeze before turning and walking away, his movements stiff and almost robotic.
Fighting the urge to childishly wipe my mouth on the back of my hand, I returned to the corner where the Greyhounds were gathered. Dani’s face lit up when I slid into the booth next to him and stole a sip of his drink.
“Did you have fun dancing with Coach Kent, amor?” he asked, his voice dripping with teasing.
I smirked at my friend. “He was very nice,” I declared with a playful eyeroll.
“Roy doesn’t normally dance,” one of the players- Colin- informed me. “And he usually doesn’t stay out this late.” He waggled his eyebrows at me over his beer. “Wonder why he came out tonight.”
Putting on my best coy smile, I leaned forward. “What about when his girlfriend comes out with you all? Doesn’t he dance with her?”
Immediately, all the men at the table shook their heads. “Roy doesn’t have a girlfriend,” Isaac, their captain, clarified. “He actually hasn’t really dated anyone since….” He glanced around the table. “Well, since he broke up with his serious girlfriend, Keeley.”
“Keeley?” I echoed without thinking. “Keeley Jones?”
Dani’s smile widened. “Oh, how do you know Keeley?”
Shit.
“I don’t,” I lied. “But I’ve heard of her. We’ve got some mutual friends. She’s a model, right?”
Isaac nodded. “She’s moved into PR, actually. Runs her own firm, works with the club. She’s brilliant.”
“And once upon a time, she and Roy were our OTP,” Colin sighed dreamily. “But they’re good friends now. Them and Jamie and their weird little dynamic.”
“Jamie dated her too,” Dani explained. “Before her and Roy got together.”
I nodded, slowly piecing together the story. “Jamie dated her too?” I chuckled, wondering why I felt like I should have been told all this ahead of time. “Gosh, she has a type, doesn’t she? Dating two guys from the same team.” I put my hands up and quickly added, “Not that I have the right to judge. I dated bandmates once, did not turn out well for the band.”
The guys laughed good-naturedly. As I was about to feign interest and ask another question about Roy, Jamie Tartt approached, plopping down on my other side and setting down a drink in front of me, his arm behind me on the booth casually.
“Finally escaped from Grandad, eh?” he joked, eyes twinkling playfully.
Damn. Normally, his pretty-boy looks and admittedly annoying swagger would be exactly what I wanted, and we’d probably have a fun couple of weeks in each other’s beds. But I needed to stick to the plan; besides, wasn’t I done with guys like this?
Offering the athlete nothing but a polite smile, I turned back to Dani and took my friend’s hand. “It was fun watching you play today,” I hummed. “Think I could come again? Become a Greyhounds fan?”
“Yes!” Dani kissed my forehead. “Please, amor, come to more of our games.” He nudged me. “I’m sure Coach Kent would not mind one bit.”
Hoping my smile was shy rather than obviously fake, I giggled. “He did tell me I brought you all luck,” I said slowly. I batted my eyelashes at Dani. “Don’t suppose you could pass along my phone number to him? I’d love to know which game he’d like me to bring luck to.”
The table fell into a dead silence, all eyes wide and mouths agape. After the guys exchanged looks that could only be described as utterly shocked, Colin finally cleared his throat.
“I’m sorry,” he started, “are you asking Dani to give Roy your phone number?”
Feigning innocence, I nodded. “Sure,” I chirped. “Is that alright? You all said he’s single, so…” I shrugged and turned to Dani. “Unless you think it’s too weird, chulo?”
“No, no,” Dani assured me. “I can give him your number.” He tilted his head at me. “You… you liked Coach Kent, then?”
Nope. Not at all. Not one fucking bit.
“Sure,” I giggled, hating myself. “I mean, as much as I can like a man after one drink and a couple of dances.”
His smile lit up the entire club as he lifted his drink. “Well, then Coach Kent is a lucky man. I will give him your number tomorrow, how does that sound?”
I tapped my glass to Dani’s. “Sounds like a plan.”
Taglist: @infinetlyforgotten@ladygrey03@book-of-roses@thatonedogwithablog@misshall14@wibblywobblyvampywolfystuff@akornsworld@itswhateveripromise@purecinnamonextract@oceanncurrent@dearvoidgoodnight@hopefulromances @respondingtoshowerthoughts-blog @hotleaf-juice @emmy2811 @captainorbust-blog @preciousbabypeter @shion-ah @royalestrellas
#roy kent i'll write your name#roy kent iwyn#he's here he's there he's every fucking where#roy kent#roy kent x reader#roy kent fanfic#roy kent fic#roy kent fanfiction#roy kent imagine#ted lasso fanfiction
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My CRK hot takes (character edition)
Yeah, you knew this was bound to happen. So, here are my Cookie Run Kingdom hot takes! Please do not read beyond this point if you are easily offended by someone else's opinion because I do not feel like listening to some of you guys whine in the comments.
So, here they are lol:
Ok, now let me explain my takes! I couldn't really fit everything into the comic, because they're just too small and I don't think I can do it justice. So, here are my explanations!
1.) "Black Pearl is an overrated character and didn't deserve to be Cookie of the Year."
I honestly do not understand why she’s so popular, other than that her design is pretty and she’s VERY good skill-wise. Other than that… there’s nothing really that I like about her. Don’t get me wrong, she’s not criminally offensive compared to other characters, but all she is to me is a simple rehash of Dark Choco Cookie’s character, but worse. If anything, Sherbert Cookie should’ve been Cookie of the Year and not her! He’s an amazingly written character compared to her and I actually feel very sorry for, unlike Black Pearl. The only reason why she got Cookie of the Year is that she’s pretty. That’s it.
2.) "Clotted Cream can go fuck himself."
I despise this character with a passion. I also do not understand the appeal of Clotted Cream. There is just something about him that I just do not like! The moment I laid eyes on him in Cookie Odyssey, I immediately thought he was the man behind the slaughter and I feel like that was also half of the fandom at the time when Cookie Odyssey was released. Do I even need to mention the scene where he confronts the ancients with Dark Enchantress Cookie’s identity? I mean, yes, it should’ve been said, but holy fuck he could NOT shut his fucking mouth! Besides, HE started the whole damn thing! If anything, Dark Cacao should AT LEAST knock some fucking sense into him. I would not be even mad. Also, he’s fucking annoying to me. Why does he not have a British accent?! WHY?!-
3.) "LicoPom is a good ship"
I stand by this and I shall explain myself now. Both Pomegranate and Licorice Cookie are shitty people and they both treat Dark Choco like garbage. The ONLY reason why people say this ship is bad is because Pomegranate is shitty towards Choco. Y'all, you DO realize Licorice also uses Dark Choco as a punching bag too, right? Not only does Licorice throw Dark Choco under the bus by mentioning him to get him in trouble, but ALSO calls him names. Not to mention that Licorice is treated the best by Pomegranate, compared to the others, and you can see that they care about each other (at least, Licorice does, at the end of episode 14, where he tells her that she's hurt and they need to retreat.) They deserve each other, honestly.
4.) "The Heroes of the Dark Cacao Update is THE BEST CRK Update."
Do I really need to explain why? I mean, this update is CARRIED by its story ALONE! Not to mention we got Dark Cacao: One of the BEST written characters in the entire game, Affogato Cookie, Caramel Arrow Cookie: Dark Choco's wife/j and certified Girlboss, and we got to learn more about Dark Choco Cookie as a character! Whoever says this update is bad is a liar-
5.) "Sea Fairy is a mid character"
I don't think I need to explain why. We know very little about her, even after the Mermaid update we only know that she's connected to the Mermaids and that's kinda it. I mean, I don't hate her at all, but I wish we had a little more info about her.
6.) "Pudding Cookie should be introduced into Kingdom for the next Krima update"
Ok, not much of a hot take but more of an opinion. I mean, c'mon! Look at her!! We need an update where she's introduced along with other Christmas Cookies with their own little story, like in ovenbreak! Please, Devsisters, do it-
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Ok, that's all of my hot takes I have so far. I'm pretty sure I'm gonna lose some of my followers for these takes- (thank you for 400 followers btw!! It really means a lot!!) but I say it's worth it. If any of you guys have any hot takes of your own, please let me know in the comments or ask box! I'd love to see them!
#cookie run#cookie run kingdom#dark cacao cookie#licorice cookie#clotted cream cookie#sea fairy cookie#pudding cookie#dark choco cookie#licopom#licorice cookie x pomegranate cookie#black pearl cookie#sherbet cookie#hot takes
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A Yue Stan's Thoughts on Yue's Character in NATLA
As much as I appreciated what NATLA was trying to do and think it is worth a rewatch, can I just say as an unapolagetic Yue stan that they completely ruined her, and Yukka by extension.
And say whatever you want about her scenes leading up to the sacrifice (which did make me cry, I'll admit, her speech about living was actually a nice addition), but it was actually this line that left me absolutely seething and in my opinion proves that the writers completely misunderstood what made the sacrifice so powerful:
I actually had to pause the television and collect myself after this one because holy fuck is this the stupidest thing I've ever heard. The entire point in the animated show was that she didn't get to make her own choices before this point. She didn't get to choose who to marry, she didn't get to choose her role in society, she didn't get to choose basically anything about her life besides maybe how to style her hair or something. Yue was a character who was extremely dutiful, but also extremely boxed in by her duty. It was both her greatest strength and her greatest weakness, a parody of itself, just as her mere existence was a parody: while she was saved by the moon spirit as a child and allowed to live on, it was that very reason that she eventually gave up her life. And the very fact that she was given these choices in the first place in the LA seriously undermined the idea of her sacrifice. Yue was told her entire life what to do, and although she did manage to find a bit of freedom through her brief romance with Sokka, ultimately, she still didn't get to publicly be with him or reject Hahn or anything similar. Her sacrifice was what she saw as her duty, yes, but her sacrifice for her people was also a way of standing up for herself and finally resolving to make her own choices. In that moment, she not only saved her people, but she finally made a decision for herself instead of doing something someone else told her to, even going against Sokka's wishes to do what she thought was necessary. So in the LA, with her having a place of influence in her community, with her being able to call off her engagement, with her being told that she could one day be chief, to that stupid fucking line implying that she was in no way ever repressed and free to make her own decisions the entire time, removing all of her character growth and any character significance to her actions, it was all basically pointless. It made Yue into a plot device for Sokka to bond with and to move the Aang-and-Kuruk plotline forward. In the animated series, Yue was not a plot device, and she was extremely well written, whereas in NATLA, her character fell completely flat. She talks about responsibility and pressure in her first scene with Sokka, but other than that, she has no depth. In other words, she has no depth besides her relationship to him.
Anyway, I hope we can all agree that her characterization and a lot of the decisions made in the last two episodes of NATLA were nothing but a pile of bulshit. From Iroh killing Zhao to Yukka having zero chemistry to Katara just magically becoming a master to Zuko being shelved to the plotline about Aang not feeling like he belonged having absolutely no buildup beyond a throwaway line in the second episode to everything about Yue I spelled out above, I would go as far to call it just plain bad. Again, I'm glad it got renewed, and I'll be the first to say a lot of other episodes get unnecessary hate, as well as that we are working with slightly different characters (especially Azula) in this version than the first, but I was really disappointed with seeing Yue in LA for a second time.
#natla#yue#yue meta#yukka#avatar the last airbender#anti natla#sokka#arnook#natla episode 7#natla episode 8#consider this part of my natla debrief series#which wont be continued at all#emmie babbles
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I have opinions about TotK. This is your spoiler warning if you haven't played/finished it yet. Also all of this is, once again, just my opinion on it and not a decisive fact! I will probably misremember things!
Anyway.
Okay so basically as someone who got it on release and beat it within a week, I'm a little underwhelmed by the game now that I'm looking back over half a year later.
It's not a terrible game! I'll say that first and foremost. But after waiting so long for it, and trying so hard to not hype myself up for it (failing horribly at that), it feels just a bit... same-y. The story is nice, and it's different. The boss fights and abilities you gain during your travels are nice. Everything else, though...
I like the map having stayed similar, with enough changes that I have to relearn some areas. The Depths are really fucking cool, and figuring out on my own that they're a negative of the overworld was incredible! But the sky islands were a little disappointing, I think. When we were told we'd be in the sky a lot, I thought there'd be more large islands like the tutorial one that you could walk around on. More references to Skyward Sword, too. It feels to me that they put more love into the Depths than the sky, in a way.
I like the main story. Figuring out Zelda was the Light Dragon (but not really believing it until the final Tears), and that she'd essentially spent thousands and thousands of years trapped inside herself, was AWESOME. Every cutscene involving her as the Light Dragon hit me hard, and I felt genuine sorrow everytime I saw her floating around the sky.
...That being said, I DO wish we could have a game where you get to actually travel with her. I WANT her to tell me about the minor lore of the world! I want to know about the various flora and fauna, and I want her to talk about Hyrule's history! Zelda is part of the royal family, and I'd imagine that part of her studies pre-BotW she'd have to learn about the history of her family (especially because of the importance of the Goddess' blood...). With how pre-BotW went between her and her powers, and her and her father, I'd imagine she'd make it a point to learn more about their history that ISN'T just the prophecy.
I, personally, did not like most of the temple boss fights. I can't really explain much of why- except for Queen Gibdo. I HATED Queen Gibdo because of all the smaller Gibdo chasing you, trying to chase down Riju for her power... It was a lot of things stacked on each other, and simply not my thing. Colgera was an absolute favorite however! The boss theme is AWESOME, the mechanics of being in the air and having to watch for projectiles, as well as crashing through the ice sheets to take it down? VERY, VERY FUN. Climbing through the sky just to get to the temple itself was one of my favorite experiences. Going up and up and up, and finally reaching the top where you break out above the storm clouds and see clear skies...
A thing that bothers me about the temples is that the cutscene at the end, where the ancient Sages gifts their powers to the new ones... I feel like they could've spent a little more time making them different, even if that meant more time in development. I would be okay with that! I think games should be in development longer in order to produce a good, finished product! Anyway.
The fight with Ganondorf was fun for me. I get SUPER immersed in it, so it was a fearful moment when I thought I'd beaten him, only to see his health bar fill again... and then go offscreen. And the DEMON DRAGON FIGHT? Holy SHIT.
I just wish there was more... substance to the game, I guess? It feels weird saying that. There are more things to do, but it's missing something I can't name. Something BotW had, but is now gone. I like TotK, like I said. It's clearly had love put into it, and I'm glad the developers spent more time on getting it as close to the perfect image they wanted as they could. Maybe it's just cause I've spent more time with BotW (over 300 hours), but I think I'm a little biased towards it. Maybe I'm just getting older and grumpier about vidya games, too. Who knows!
If you read all this, cool! I will reiterate that this is simply my view on it! If your view is different, good!! I'm happy to know there are people out there who enjoy it more than I did. Or if you hate it more than I do, maybe you have other things you want to point out about it that I missed.
#james speaks#long post#loz#totk#the legend of zelda#tears of the kingdom#i love reading people's opinions so please tell them to me if you want somewhere to ramble!!#zelda#totk spoilers#tears of the kingdom spoilers
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Got any Lupin sex HCs? He seems like he wouldn’t have a straightforward relationship with sex so I struggle picturing that part of him for that reason.
This is long. But I like long. Thankyou for giving me an excuse to be long B^)
Had a hard time recently and the distraction is appreciated <3
'Remus Lupin' is allergic to being straightforward.
If he even tries to walk in one direction for more than a few steps he starts double-guessing himself and wants to run away.
Just lay down and fuck someone...? Impossible. EVERYTHING has to be a headache. That's trauma, baby~
We see how he reacts to romantic affection and get hints at how he reacts to sexual affection. Like everything else in his life:
Emotionally masked, self-harming, dishonest, under-developed emotional maturity and deeply irresponsible.
He gaslights and lies about his thoughts, plans and feelings - masking them with polite smiles and cheerful words, closing himself off to all the people who wish to help - and then one morning you wake up in an empty house…
...Until he crawls home weeks later, a dirty sobbing mess.
He would pull Tonks closer only to push her away so hard he was taking near suicidal missions to avoid loving her.
Then, when he finally feels able to just be with her: they marry and get pregnant within months. During a war. Irresponsible. All-or-nothing.
I know those are relationship HCs/Canon observations - but it's necessary in order to understand how complex he is in bed. He is kind, gentle, loving - even passionate and enthusiastic… but he only knows extremes - all-out till it hurts, all-in till it harms - and he needs help with finding an in-between. He needs help with moderation.
No two times are the same. His mental health isn't stable and neither is his physical health. He is disabled physically and mentally - and intimacy is one of the things that highlights that the most.
He NEEDS a patient, flexible and mentally strong partner to help him carry his heavy heart and stormy brain.
(Tonks is almost custom-made for this) ((and Sirius is basically the exact opposite of what he needs IMO… and Remus is definitely not what Sirius needs, that poor man.))
First of all, his body: Tall or short, either way I think by the time he is in his 30s he is misshapen and stretched out.
His bones completely rearrange once a month, and due to his poor nutrition don't always set back correctly. His fingers and toes are usually in some state of broken, his spine is stretched a little, his ribs haven't settled straight for years...
He starves himself both due to poverty and because it keeps his werewolf form weak, and his human form un-wolflike.
(In comparison: Fenrir takes such great pride in keeping his werewolf form strong, and it seeps strongly into his human form. Every Full Moon a little more...)
But while his werewolf form can't manage a proper coat of fur, I do think his human form is 'too hairy'. Perhaps not enough for an untrained eye to tell he is a werewolf - but enough to make anyone say 'holy shit Remus I didn't expect you to have so much body hair'
The hair, the scars he has gotten from hurting himself and his days as a spy, the fact his bones always look a little wonky...
He hates his own body. He hides it.
The first hurdle to intimacy is the slow discovery of all these little things - him facing the dread of being rejected for ANY of them.
He could be laying back, one step away from accepting affection - and suddenly think 'What if they hate my hair? What if they see my scars? What if my ribs look disgusting this month?'... and so he jumps up to leave the room without a word.
He has an aversion to his own spit, so kissing and performing oral are hard for him. He considers a peck on the lips intimate. It makes him flush bright red, anyway. Logically he knows his spit isn't a danger unless he is a werewolf... but his heart still gets anxious about it.
When he manages to let go of that fear: He is passionate, clumsy, embarrassingly inexperienced and just about devours his partner - because it gets him so hot, feeling so close to someone, feeling his mustache brush up against them... but he isn't very good.
He DOES, however, kiss all over his partners body. He can't help it. He loves having his lips, his nose, his teeth close to skin.
He might not be a confident kisser, he might not be good at oral sex - but he worships with his lips. Softly most of the month, but nearing a certain time... his teeth get a little involved. It feels good to massage flesh between his jaws... though he will feel disgusted with himself later.
He is most consistently a 'pillow princess'.
He likes reciprocating - but he can't always mentally handle it (and depending on the phase of the moon physically can't handle it either.)
Sometimes it is easy to lay back and receive love.
Most of the time it isn't 'easy' - but it is nice to accept someone else taking control and doing nice things, to be soothed by their encouragement and love. Nicer than being alone.
If he is going to have a more active role in sex its near the New Moon, when he feels his most stable. You might actually get a normal fucking night with him for once, without tears or panics...
On a Waning Gibbous he is usually too tired and injured/sore to do much. The transformation takes it out of him physically, mentally and emotionally. So he needs pampering.
On a Waxing Gibbous he is unstable. Migraines, nausea, hot flushes, mood swings, irritable... sometimes horny enough to just do what he wants for once. This big bad Alpha Wolf Bad Boy, full of Full Moon hormones, is gonna not ask permission to touch his partners boobies B^)
He has a complex relationship with receiving oral.
On one hand - holy shit someone has gotten him out of his trousers and into their MOUTH and it is AMAZING and they look GORGEOUS down there...
On the other hand? He has to see himself. His hairy, misshapen and scarred body... and if he closes his eyes, he thinks too much.
And where does he put his hands!? His horrible, broken claws...
He just grips the sheets/chair/desk/his own clothes and tries desperately to focus on the good. Using his hips helps.
But sometimes sex is easier. He can look at his partner, think about their pleasure, focus on his movements...
He doesn't have a high libido. Sex isn't often on his mind. Thanks depression, anxiety and trauma.
But when it does cross his thoughts - its consuming. It burns through him. He is inexperienced with even the concept of intimacy being a possibility, so he acts much like a teenager would:
This 35yr old man stumbles over his own feet leaving the room.
He is CERTAINLY too shy to act on it, so he goes off to sulk, distract himself... and masturbate to ease the burn, as usual.
Even if he has a partner he wouldn't think to approach them when he feels horny.
Probably the hottest thing for him would be someone coming to help him jerk off. It's what he fantasizes about - it is the least scary form of intimacy he can imagine, no spit or consequences or commitment or expectations... just the person he was thinking about coming in and taking over for him.
He adores cheesy romantic gestures. Even the silly ones - he is a bit of a silly man, after all.
Flowers and chocolate on valentines day. Rose petals leading to the bedroom.
Candles and incense in a hot bath when his bones hurt and his head aches.
His favourite meal and a mild love potion on his birthday - perhaps not the healthiest way to stop worrying, but taking the edge off is nice sometimes.
All the eye-roll worthy gestures nobody actually does... he has grown up knowing nothing like that would EVER happen to him.
I know this isn't the sexiest slop you've ever read - but I just don't think that's possible with Remus.
This paints him as a soft man who needs pampering... and he isn't like that all the time. He has strengths. He isn't a pathetic man.
But I do think intimacy is his weakest point.
It hits at the very core of all the things he struggles with.
His own body. Trusting others. Trusting himself. Being emotionally vulnerable. Acts of passion and instinct that could have consequences when he is sober again.
This is how I see him, so if you struggle to see how he reacts to sexual situations... I hope this essay helps? Ha
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Tarnished pt 26
[Helluva Boss AU where Blitzø’s childhood theft from Stolas’ palace is discovered and major consequences ensue for everyone involved.]
[Part 26/?? Word count: 1575 Cw: language, mention of drug abuse]
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There was an extended silence as Blitzø absorbed this information. “Ohshitohshitohshit, what the fuck do I do, are you girls sure, holy fucking shit I wasn’t even sure she was alive.” Blitzø dropped his burger and grabbed the sides of his head. His eyes went huge as he stared into nothing. “You’re absolutely sure it’s her?”
Dina nodded. “Pretty sure. If it weren’t for the horns I’d have thought you snuck into my group.”
“She sounds like you too. Never thought I’d hear someone else cuss like that, besides you,” Loona added. “I heard her checking in, said her name’s ‘Barb Buckzo.’”
Blitzø stood up, still not really seeing anything. “Fucknuggets, that’s gotta be her. I haven’t seen her in decades. She might not even remember me now, we were just kids…” He gripped the back of his chair, claws making scrapes in the finish. “Wait… if she’s in your group therapy Dina…”
Dina took a sip of drink before answering. “Yeah. Sounds like she’s been through some shit. And um,” she hesitated before continuing what she wanted to say, “she mentioned her brother during the session. But…it wasn’t anything good Dad.”
He took a deep breath. “I think I can handle it.” Whatever Barb had said about him couldn’t be worse than the other crap that had happened in his life, right?
“She said her twin was a ‘traitorous royal cocksucker’ and that he ‘abandoned his family to be a rich boy’s pet as soon as he could.’” Seeing Blitzø stiffen as if he’d been struck made her wish she hadn’t said anything.
Hearing what Barb thought of him, it made the bottom drop out of his world. He hadn’t expected her to be thrilled with him, but this level of animosity wasn’t expected. What in the Seven Rings had Cash told everyone? Was that why Fizz never responded to his mail?
Did his mom hate him too?
“I’m sorry, I'm sorry, I shouldn’t have said anything-“ Dina started desperately apologizing. The imp cut her off.
“Not your fault Di. You warned me too.” He shook his head harshly. “I- I gotta get out for a bit. I’ll be back later girls.” He scooped up his phone and keys as he dashed out the door.
Loona opened a window to yell at him, “No driving the accident-mobile Dad!” He’d been about to hop in the van; instead he slammed the door shut. “Goddammit Loonie, FINE!” He jammed his hands into his coat pockets and walked off into the darkening night.
Dina, still at the table, was hunched down with her ears laid back. “Loona? Is everything gonna be okay? Feels like we shouldn’t have said anything.”
Her sister plopped back into her seat. “Nah, Blitzø is always kind of a mess. He thinks he’s a hot mess. He’ll be back.” She ran her hand through her hair and tossed a fry into her mouth. “I know I wouldn’t have been able to keep quiet about all this shit. And he’s such a busybody that he’d keep prying until we blew up at him.” Dina sighed and they finished the meal in silence.
Loona cleaned up the dishes while Dina put away the leftovers. They each took a side of the couch but left the television off. Instead they chatted about a web novel Dina had started reading while at rehab. Loona was catching up on it now and the sisters enjoyed discussing the plot and characters.
Neither of them wanted to head to bed until Blitzø got back. Dina mentioned that she almost felt like the parent right now, waiting for their kid to come home. The hours crept by with no sign of the imp. Just in case, Loona sent a text to Stolas. She didn’t go into details but let the prince know Blitzø had left the apartment upset.
Stolas replied that Blitzø wasn’t with him and not to worry unless he wasn’t back by morning. That wasn’t terribly reassuring for the Hellhounds.
Both girls ended up falling asleep on the couch before Blitzø stumbled back in around two in the morning. He was drunk and had gotten into some sort of fight. The lights were mostly off so he didn’t see the pair on the couch. Neither hound woke up; not even when he flopped on top of them.
Dimly, Blitzø realized the couch was both lumpier and fuzzier than normal. Those facts didn’t really stick with him as he passed out.
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In Sloth, Barb got back to her dormitory. She was staying at a sober living facility for now. She didn’t really have any place else to be or anyone to be with. Most of her friends were addicts and none were trying to get clean. Barb knew if she spent any time with her current circle of acquaintances, she’d be right back to square one.
The imp didn’t know who was footing the bill for her rehab. When she’d gotten sober enough to question the money situation, she was politely informed that an anonymous donor was taking care of it. While that was suspicious, she wasn’t in a position to question it. And what would she do otherwise? If she insisted on paying herself, she’d be neck deep in debt or kicked out.
Barb was suspicious, but not stupid. If this demon wanted to pay for her recovery, let ‘em. If they came looking to collect later, she’d deal with it then. At least she’d be sober for whatever came her way.
She had been thinking about who it could be. Not Mammon, that was for damn sure. Maybe Fizz? But she was pretty sure he hated her guts now. Cash wouldn’t be; she hadn’t been able to find out if her father survived the fire. If he had, he’d disappeared. Not likely he’d be paying for her medical bills if he was alive.
Her mom… Barb gripped the choker that she wore, that had been Tilly’s. Her mom would have.
Maybe one or more of the hospital staff she’d interacted with during Fizz’s recovery all those years ago? That was a long shot.
Blitzo? She snorted to herself at the thought. The jackass and his douche prince would have the money, but her twin had shown how much he cared decades ago. He didn’t even know she was still kicking, from what she remembered of the mail he sent Fizz.
There were other demons she’d encountered over the years. She’d worked odd jobs to fund her habit, with the legality of said jobs being questionable. She didn’t think she had made a good enough impression on anyone to warrant this however.
It gave her a headache to keep thinking about it and without more information, she didn’t have enough to figure it out. Scrolling her phone, she pulled up the pics she’d sneakily taken earlier. The Hellhounds she’d encountered at group therapy.
Barb had snapped at the first girl for staring. At the moment she’d brushed the girl looking at her so intently as listening in to her rant. Then she saw the other young Hound woman in the meeting room. Dina, as she learned at the introduction round, tried to hide looking at Barb. But the imp kept feeling her glancing over during the session.
After they broke apart for the day, Dina trotted up to the Hound in the waiting area. Seeing them side by side, it was obvious they were siblings and maybe even littermates. The only difference between them was height and hair length. The pair was very much trying to not look at Barb. The imp’s spines were raised and she glared at them before heading towards the dorms.
But she doubled back once she was sure the girls weren’t following her. She caught glimpses of them as they walked away. Then the girls slipped into a space between two buildings and Barb saw colored lights glow from the gap. She ran to the spot as the glow faded.
No sign of either Hellhound. A portal? For a couple Hounds? Most magick wielding demons were royalty or working for royalty. Imps, Hellhounds, and Hellborn in general didn’t have much to do with magick. Succubi on assignment to Earth used portals and illusions.
Whoever these girls were, they likely had a connection with blue bloods. And they were interested in her. Barb doubted they were connected with who was funding her therapy. Both Hounds seemed like they didn’t expect to see her. Like they couldn’t believe their eyes.
She scribbled down her thoughts in a notebook she kept in her room. Maybe because of the years of drug abuse, but she had difficulty keeping track of things. She was getting in the habit of writing down whatever was on her mind, since her notebook had a better memory than she did. During the day, Barb typed stuff into a notepad app on her phone, then reviewed it at night.
She was not up for any fancy journaling. No decorated grids, stickers, different color pens and fancy tape between entries. The words were lucky if she followed the lines on the page. Anything particularly important got circled or highlighted so she could find it easily as she flipped through the pages.
The Hellhound girls were an odd enough occurrence that she circled and highlighted her bullet list about them. If Dina was still in her group next time, she could try to find out more.
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NAH IM DONE WITH "ENGENES" (im looking at yall k-enegnes specfically)
WHY THE FUCK IS IT whenever enhypen releases new music, content, at a concert, fuck even breathe that these fake ass fuckers have the need to say something so shit to our boys LIKE WHAT THE FUCK IS UR PROBLEM U STANKY ASS BE GRATEFUL THAT THEY ARE DOING SO MUCH FOR US
if they have so much problem just fucking leave man no need to stay. I feel like atp they are just there for the fan service. The day enhypen stops doing that is the day we all have true engenes that can vibe together fr fr.
On god bro like damn I was literally just thinking about that shit these boys are working fucking overtime (I know they chose to be idols) like back to back tours two hour long shows send off soundcheck new music back to back like what more could you want? Not to mention all the other little side projects they do They’re unproblematic but somehow “engenes” still got shit to say? They have been harassed threatened named called and everything else under the sun but yet people still got shit to say it’s outrageous
And fuck don’t even get me started on the member favoritism holy hot damn the fact that people are singling out members and based off looks or fan service really just grinds my gears like I love heeseung with my whole entire heart but that doesn’t mean I’m gonna bash sunghoon or call jay ugly like tf be for real right now
I have zero respect for people who talk about them like that and try to claim their “engenes” not to mention all the weird fan interactions they have to endure but god forbid they meet an engene in Japan and hug them then all hell has to break loose
There’s just so much more I have to say and honestly I could write 10k words on the topic alone
Not to mention people only talk about their visuals like they are more then their visuals they make incredible music and have some of the most unique voices in kpop that I’ve heard but still everytime you see a post about them it’s about heeseung’s visuals or some nonsense (not saying there aren’t post that praise them) but for the most part I really see post about that which in my opinion is meaningless like yes they are attractive young men (I only look at heeseung btw lol) but they are more than that honestly they deserve respect cause they have done nothing but work hard to put out greatness for us so we should appreciate it they’re always active (especially jungwon)
And the fan service and other engenes being jealous of that girl who did the go big or go home dance on the big screen in Dallas I think it was people literally stalked her account and went years back to find out she was saying the N word and they started dogging her for it (I hate when people use that word) but still to drag her like that was scary and crazy all just because the boys watched her on screen I can assure that the fans are thinking about her more than enhypen so I don’t get where all the jealousy comes in from yeah I wish I got noticed on the big screen but I’m not gonna throw hate at someone just cause she did and I didn’t (and maybe that’s cause they did see me in the crowd why I’m not jealous) but even still that’s too far I understand being jealous but not to the extent of tracking someone’s account down thats actually (if it’s true I just heard this somewhere on tiktok I think) but yeah there’s so much to say and it’s all negative I’m embarrassed that I’m even associated with them by being an engene but sadly there’s nothing I can do but like you said hopefully they will leave and the real engenes will have their time to shine
Another way you can tell those “engenes” are just in it for the members is the fact they are selling their vip1 tickets cause it was said there was going to be no send off (saw it on twitter not sure if this is true either) but if it is that’s crazy like why not just show up and support them without being delusional about it and the fact they walked out last year when enhypen was still performing songs just so they could get close at sendoff like come on it’s just embarrassing atp but anything to get noticed right? Even the members couldn’t stop the “fans” from fighting so that’s how you can tell it’s just a crazed obsession but okay I’m done
For now
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the new pmmm movie trailer has brought back my Brainrot for the show so ive been re-exploring the pmmm corner of tumblr and
oh my god???? oh my fucking god???? oh holy shit???? oh my goodness gracious your art is so pretty??????? hello???????????
the way you draw sayaka is just fhfhfhfhhfhfhfhfhfhfhfhfhfhfhfhhfhf. yk? the english language does not have the words to articulate how much i love you art and the style of your art. i am going insane. i am losing my mind. every piece you've made featuring sayaka just captures her essence so well and it makes me feral.
sayaka's not my main favorite of the show (sorry sayaka, you rock but kyoko is just too cool with her Christian Guilt) she's a very close second and it makes me so happy to see an artist who just understands her character so well. she's a foolish girl blind to her own fate, desperate to do something special and be someone worthwhile but she's ultimately just a footnote in the grand plan of the universe, she wants to be just and righteous and kind so badly but she's too wrapped up in her own despair to truly be selfless, she can be selfish and callous but that's just because she's human, a human who realized her existence is ultimately an exercise in futility and that fact burns and it hurts so she does whatever she can to make the pain go away but it never does because she's just A Normal, Flawed Girl and that hurts so goddamn much-
i have so many Thoughts about sayaka. she makes me insane on a daily basis and your art just feels like it captures all the screeching in my brain and puts it in the form of some beautiful images. they're so great. you're doing great.
Ah, thank you for the kind words [♡] I appreciate the time you had taken out to write and send this long scroll of a compliment.
I have been told by others that the way I depict Sayaka is "so real" and that it captures her essence most of the time, even though I am not sure what particular elements about her that people in the audience like unless specified. I suppose, personally, whenever I am drawing her, I have to enter her shoes of not just "the frustration of a lovesick teenage girl", "my perceived sense of justice was flawed", but also to accept that resignation is a highlight of her character. A young girl who believes she is unloved despite her desire to do everything Right. A mermaid who cannot swim - futility and uselessness contribute to why Sayaka is a realistic and compelling person to a lot of people watching the show. Whenever I draw her, my brain paints a sketch of her sadness before anything else. The despair of "no matter what I do, this is the outcome" is true to the canon of Sayaka turning into a Witch in every timeline she tries to accomplish this Goodness by being a magical girl, reflecting the reality at large the helplessness girls in general experience on a daily basis.
It is why I find people who hate Sayaka to be...strange, since their prescribed reasons for dislike are mainly how "foolish" her wish and outlook in life was, and how she became irritating to those around her as though Sayaka isn't literally a paragon of not just deteriorating mental health, but to me, people with personality disorders as well, given that there is always a "sense" that the inevitable ending involves everyone actively avoiding you and you will eventually just...fade away into non-existence; a bad memory that no one wants to speak about. It makes me sad. Sayaka is sick, and everyone can smell the rot of magic off her.
Everytime I draw her, I want to capture, perhaps, this exact feeling of resigning to this disease. I don't want to always make the drawings beautiful since her struggles are ugly and difficult and tiresome, and shouldn't be trivialised as a result. She's always trying her best to regain control of her own life, thus being so unmatched in terms of how relatable she is to a lot of people.
I am glad that someone appreciates my works, even if they aren't always consistently quality. •́ ‿ ,•̀
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TTB Opening themes by season
Because my head goblin got riled up from that last ask and I am but a mere flesh jaeger. Thought went into this, goddamn thought went into this.
SEASON 1 (PRE-WAR)
Opening: Link by L’arc en Ciel (FMA movie)
Do you remember?
Ever since we were kids there was a door we couldn't reach
Even on tiptoes
Forgetting about time
Exhausted with endless wandering
This maze we walked
Always seemed to be there
I can't stop unconsciously
Searching for your smile.
Not a single thing has changed
I would bet on that
Even if we were separated by a thousand miles,
These memories will connect us
Even if we should be fooled by the cruel tricks of fate
It won't break us
I wish that someday I could see with my own two eyes
Our world born again
- Chosen because the MegOP as childhood friends vibes were TOO STRONG look at those fucking lyrics holy shit. Also, it sounds a LOT like OP speaking/singing to Megs! And. very sadly attempting to reassure himself/Megs that yes, they can still be friends despite everything they’ve gone through. He wants to hold on to that hope.
SEASON 2
Opening: I am just feeling alive by Umi Kuun (Young Blackjack)
I am just feeling alive!
The tears… the scars… from that night,
Change to new vows in this moment.
This simple heart has simply gone on making decisions,
Thinking there’s no way justice could ever exist.
But nonetheless, I’m searching for it somewhere in my heart,
(Give me Give me One More Chance!)
We only really need one thing we can believe in, always
Hey, don’t you think?
I am just feeling alive!
It’s a patchwork destiny
But I want to try betting on that future!
I just want you to survive!
In the space between a cruel world and hope,
This dreaming heart flaps its wings!
- Chosen for the ‘alive’ theme since OP has basically returned from the dead last season with the Matrix giving him ‘new life’. Also OP still seeking for a better day despite the shit he’s gone through AGAIN, and shifting his priorities from Megs to the team he now has to lead, who he’s determined to keep alive.
- Thematic support from Prowl, who’s also learning how to live as a free man for the first time and is likely realising the mountains he’s willing to move for Jazz (and his shifting mindset).
SEASON 3
Opening: Unlimited by Nanase Aikawa (Samurai 7)
To understand each other
And to share your feelings with each other
Those things are like bubbles
Hiding themselves in the grains of time
So I have lost all hope
Believing it would be impossible to grab them
Until I met you
How long have you been carrying
This pain inside you?
How long have you been hiding
That sadness in your eyes when you smile?
If we now embrace the miracle of our encounter
And look into each other's eyes, we can become stronger
If this is not what is called love
Then what is love?
- Female vocals chosen as this season introduces Windblade, Chromia and Lightbright as the Camien Valkyries, as well as Sari.
- Fourth and fifth stanzas relating to Ratchet with Drift (defects to Autobots this season), Sari with Isaac (introduced this season, both are part of the main arc) and Windblade with Starscream.
SEASON 4
Opening: Missing Link by Novels (Tiger & Bunny)
I could have reclaimed that torn page
Now I don't remember where I dropped it
Yet what bothers me most is that there's no beauty looking forward
After all, I did have a dream as my spell
What can I hate?
My past? Myself?
I only wish it could be someone else
We imagine such a future
But even if we lose it
We'll still be the heroes of our story
And even if the future is bleak
So long as we have the present
We will write as many chapters of this dream as we need
- The talk of past and futures plays into the Time Travel/Functionist Universe episodes which features as this season’s main arc.
- First two stanzas relate to Megs coming to terms with who he’s become (and the torn page he dropped, ie. his old, hopeful miner self). Also concerns Sunstreaker, who leaves the Autobots after a massive crisis of self.
- Last stanza concerns Prowl/Functionist Universe Jazz, basically Prowl telling F!Jazz that as long as they have the present, there’s still hope even if the future looks bleak.
SEASON 5
Opening: Rain by SID (FMA: Brotherhood)
The new morning we've finally found
Is being hampered by the past
What we chased after wasn't the future
But the past so full of remorse
The ruthless memories won't stop playing
They won't be forgiving us for a long time
It's now that a teardrop
Begins to roll down my fatigued cheeks
Will this rain ever stop?
I've been freezing for a long time
Why does the rain continue to fixate on me?
I wonder if it could embrace me
Today the rain falls again
Endlessly it falls, knowing no end
We nestle close to each other to share the warmth
Under this umbrella you gently held out to me
- Chosen because EVERYONE is a little fucked up and tired by this point.
- First two stanzas concern the 12 Primes, the reveal of what Unicron is and how they tie into all the terrible things the the system has done finally coming home to roost in an apocalyptic manner, so to speak.
- 0:28 to 0:32 played similar but much more benevolently w/the 10 Primes choosing their avatar/champion for the final battle.
- 0:13 to 0:18 for massive cast shot which combines Autobots AND Decepticons loyal to Megs who are, once more as they had in the beginning, fighting side by side.
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How would you rank the first 8 episodes of season 2 if you had to?
hmmmm, i'd have to go in this order, from best to worst: 7, 4, 2, 3, 1, 5, 6, 8. long rambling reasonings below cut:
7: because holy shit this ep was so fucking funny for no reason. definitely a perfect ep. to me. we got mkulia looking soooo real here. we got peak damien finding the immunity idol. we got a hilarious challenge with that whole hilarious ass hunger games-esque segment. we got ripaxel (and lost them, which... pfft sorry i laughed a little even though i also felt bad). and we got OWEN!!!!! like.... idc this has been the best ep by farrrrrr.
4: hated the elimination so much but everything else was kinda sorta really perfect. the challenge gives this ep soooo many bonus points like i LOVED learning character lore. and that cheating plot? the internal struggle within team skunk butt?? especially bowie's internal struggle after lying to his boyfriend??? CHEF'S KISS. also ripaxel made me cry laughing so there's that.
2: i also really loved this challenge. like when julia joined the clogged toilet with raj, wayne, and bowie, and she was like "SOMEBODY. HELPPPP ☹️" or every time someone hit the damn basketball rim. or wayne's laugh at julia's scream. or when chris counted the bear as a point for team skunk butt, just because. ugh it was soooo total drama. i love this show.
3: ok the rat faces + that whole ripaxel moment were admittedly less interesting here to me, but i loved the cheat vs no cheat side of skunk butts. it was SO enjoyable to watch this unstable ass team, and the intro to bowie's dilemma was sooooo good. and those mkulia moments... ugh fun fun fun!!!! (also nichelle ladonna slayed and my fav rare pair duo damichelle was born sooooooo yippee!!!)
1: this ep was a nice intro to the season. drama was at an all time high. granny ax was an absolute icon. nichelle ladonna GAGGED EVERYONE. so fun. (also i'm personally biased to this ep because i'm always thinking about the short lived parallel between scary girl and nichelle in particular, but that's a topic i can ramble about elsewhere lol)
5: FUCK THIS ELIMINATION (hashtag i'm biased). otherwise an okay ep. team rat face was sooooo found family here. to me. and the cheating plot was once again fun to see unfold. and this was quite possibly the only time we got to see ripper participate with his team without axel as a distraction and... i kinda wish we got to see that more from him? but alas.
6: i... personally don't care much for the priya/caleb plot? and a lot of this ep had that. so. eh. damien got immunity tho and that whole "juliaaaaaa, i'm your partnerrrrr 😈" bit from wayne had me rolling and that rajbow moment where they carried the canoe was sooooo cute. so it gets a bonus point for all that (hashtag i'm biased).
8: i... didn't really care for this challenge at all actually. and once again, a lot of priya/caleb. like. most of this ep had me going "oh. miscommunication incoming. how fun. 🫤" did i wish caleb went home instead of zee? uh. yes actually, if only to escape miscommunication! if i could cut a plot point this season, that would be number one. but that's another ramble for another time.
#''scin why do you ramble'' i just have a lot to say always <3 tee hee#td spoilers#ask quackle#anonymous
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GAAP (Demon 79) x reeder
Warning:blood, panic attack, strong language
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“Hello there” the voice rang through the peace. It was a low voice with a very thick English accent northern to be exact. “sorry I didn’t mean startle you”.
“Huh” I said in a confused tone. What the fuck is going on right now? I thought to myself, confused. “ yeah so basically you’ve got the whole world in your hands right now. If you don’t like kill three people in like three days, the whole world is going to go to shit”. A black figure appeared in front of me. I had a monstrous like Face that was the score of the deer and a weird black foggy like Buddy that was shaped like some sort of animal, but I can’t put my finger on what type of animal. I fell to the ground I was terrified. They started to roll down my face.
“ what the fuck are you?” I yelled loudly. “Oh yeah, I forgot about humans don’t like this appearance or too much” I was huddled down in the corner of the kitchen I was terrified.
I close my eyes tightly, wishing that this could all just be a dream. Something weird happened now. All of a sudden all the lights turned on again. “ how about this? Does this look better to you? my last human thought it was quite interesting…” I stayed up at the … Man? What was going on? I swear he didn’t look like that a couple of seconds ago he was wearing 70s disco outfit. That was why were they white fluffy coat resembling a sort of polar bear and platform shoes, and I can’t forget about the flares.
“anyway like I said before you need to kill three people and yeah ummmmm that saves the world” he Crouch down to me and grabbed my shoulder. ” what the fuck are you?” I said to the tall black man. “ well I’m gaap spell like GAAP. Most people get the wrong you would be surprised. So I’m like a Demon, and this is like my job is hard to explain” the Demon explained enthusiastically to me.
I folded into myself once more.” why does she always happened to me? Why can’t it up and someone else for once?” I whispered to myself. “Awwwwww be like that, plus you wanna save the world .who doesn’t like a good superhero” he replied trying to be positive.
I got up and just walked away. “ where are you going?” he asked I didn’t listen to him and I just started walking away. I thought to myself if I just walked away everything with Stop. I left my apartment and started to walk through the streets. Everywhere I looked he was there following me, he kept asking me to turn around talk to him and just answer him and do as he asks if not, “the world will go to shit.” he said. “ oh so fucking what it’s not my fucking problem is it” “ well actually is to be honest with you, you’re the only one that can save us well us humans and I guess animals”
“You’re not real” I yelled at him “ oh really am I not well I hate to break it to you I am I’m just gonna have to get used to it. Oh you know don’t under the world yeah that’s gonna be gone.” “ shut up!”
“ are you alright love?” a man walked around the corner, staring at me. “ no I’m not. Can you please tell this man to leave me alone” “ what man love I don’t see anyone else it for you” fear run through my body, as I heard those words.
I looked up at the Demon for the first time. I will speak to myself. “ holy shit, I’m not dreaming” the man in front of us, just stared at me “ show me to call the police, someone following you” I just did the frozen I didn’t know what to say how was I meant to explain to someone and got a Demon from a domino is following me and telling me to kill three people, so I get sent to a loony hospital “N-no it’s fine I’m fine really thank you though”
“ come on love he’s an easy killing in he?” the Demon whispered into my ear. “ how about you use that button next to you on the floor ? just one little here and he’s out”
my body was being taken over . I bent down to grab the bat as the man slowly walked closer to me. He put his arm on my shoulder. “ Are you sure you don’t want to call the police love?” I turned around quickly and hit him with the bat guilt run over me. blood was oozing from his head. “ holy shit what have I done?” I will speak to myself as panic took over me. I started crying furiously. I kept swearing to myself.
“ well done see isn’t that hard. One down 2 to go.” the Demon said trying to make a joke out of it. I fell to the ground with the bat of my hand covered in blood. He knelt down next to me. We just sat there.
Should I do a part two? 
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A Hell of an Identity Crisis
Not Natural ✨ The Devil's Trap ✨ Holy Water ✨ The Demon's Altar ✨ Midnight Meeting ✨ The Hunter's Trap ✨ Sharp Secrets and Bloody Blades ✨ A Hunter's Beast Tamed ✨ No Chick Flick Moments ✨ Witches, Bitches, and Beasts ✨ Cursed or Not ✨ Poison Lips and True Love's Kiss ✨ Swallowing Hard Truths ✨ Salt and Burn ✨ Five More Minutes
Dom x Colson (Yungblud x Machine Gun Kelly)
Warnings: SPN inspired, ABO dynamics (knots, slick, heats), demon Kells, hunter Dom, plot heavy, surprise character, teasing, mentions of sex, needy grumpy Dom, Dom wishing his life were more fantasy, mentions of blood drinking, weaponry, talks about feelings, boys having to be honest, mentions of death, Big Feels, mentions of mpreg, secrets revealed, allusions to sexual assault (not them), boys not so secretly in love ⚰️ rating: mature
The visage of a crumbling factory of sorts loomed above the pair as they slowed the car to a stop. The Men of Letters Bunker had been quite a drive to find. Dom was driving of course and grumbling about having to, but he wouldn't let Kells behind the wheel yet. "Don't look like much." The boy muttered as he switched the car off and sat back to stretch. Keliphos got distracted when he raised his hips and twisted them, as if he were searching out some deep pop but nothing came. He hated seeing his human uncomfortable but any time he attempted to help he was shot down with jade glares or at times a quick swat of his hand.
"Would you want your collection of the most magical objects in the safest place in the world to look like it houses all that shit?" Kells offered a snarky explanation and the kid shrugged.
"Well maybe 'ere should be like… a mirage? People who deserve to see it see summat else?" Dom huffed back, reaching for his coffee but every sip turned his stomach. They hadn't exactly slept much the night before, they'd spent too much time fucking since their lazy play the morning before and not enough time actually relaxing. He didn't regret it but he was certainly feeling the drain. Or maybe he just felt off because they hadn't started their morning with pleasure. The devil had teased he was getting spoiled and should learn how to edge but that was never on his list of kinks. He liked instant gratification, not a drawn out game. He'd been starving since he opened his eyes like he was every morning anymore and even though he kept snacking on actual food, none of it helped.
"Anyone ever tell you how nerdy you are?" The nephalem asked, turning sideways and inching closer to his partner.
"I like 'Arry Potter. Don't be an arse, you." The Hunter replied. He couldn't help his love of fantasy or his annoyance of their paranormal world not having all the cool quirks. Twice the transphobia and less than half the mystics- it's was bollocks if you asked him. "Fuck did you do to me back ya wanker?" He added when he tried stretching again but it was to no avail. It just seemed he'd feel like hell without his demon's bodily fluids and he certainly saw the irony- he just didn't like it.
Keliphos rolled his eyes and a small laugh escaped him. He pushed a hand between the seat and his lover's sweat wet t-shirt and searched out where the pain was coming from. Dom sighed in relief as healing heat radiated through his spine but it didn't fix everything. "I didn't do anything, you're the one that crawled on my face to ride it. Not my fault you hump too hard."
"Actually-" Dom started to retort but his beast's dark chuckle slid over his skin and made him shiver. His tongue flicked over his suddenly dry lips and he had to swallow a whimper. How the fuck had he let someone find so much control over him?
"Thanks Domie, but-" Kells gently tapped a finger against his omega's chin and turned him until they were staring each other down. With the full weight of that heavy needy gaze he pressed forward and laid a gentle kiss to the punk's plush lips. Their breath caught, it was that easy to affect each other but before he got sucked in he gave them an inch of space between. "You needed to appear more human and I don't know if my blood is too strong inside you. I swear you can drain me later, alright?"
Dom could almost feel his pupils blowing at the promise and he licked his lover's flavor from his lips before nodding slowly. "Alright. Let's get 'is shite over wiv."
Keys and weaponry were pulled from the car and hidden in different spots on their bodies before they ventured closer. The building felt menacing in a way but somehow also not at all. It looked like you could touch the wall and get tetanus but it also had a pull emanating from it that called to Kells more intensely than any place besides Tom's. He didn't assume Dom was feeling it but when he glanced to him the kid was rubbing his abdomen with a scowl on his brows. "You good?" He asked, his hand reaching back to check on the Hunter. He hadn't meant to step in front of him protectively but it just happened.
"Yeah. Jus' a lil… I dunno." Dom sighed back, he wasn't sure if he was nauseous or nervous but his belly felt full of strange butterflies. He felt drawn to the place in front of them but the back of his mind said it wasn't okay that he could feel it. It was supposed to be null to humans, though he felt something at his best friend's home as well. "Probably me curse." He explained, nodding as if he were trying to convince himself just as much as his alpha.
"Yeah, maybe." Keliphos tried to help ease the worry he could feel from his bitch as he took his hand and pulled him down a flight of stairs. He knew enough about the place to know where the entrance was. He and Tom had pooled their knowledge and since the witch had helped build it they had the blueprints pretty well understood.
The door when they reached it looked normal enough but the key Kells pulled from his pocket was certainly something that could fit right in Diagon Alley. It was old and wooden, spell work etched into it, and it was about the size of his palm. He offered it to the human just in case the magical warding didn't like demons but Dom was shaking as he took it. Their witchy friend had worked protection spells around them both, something that matched the wards of the old bunker. They were both hoping the Hunter's that had lived there hadn't changed the magic too much but those boys had been known for starting trouble. "'Ere goes nuffin." Dom sighed, turning the key and pushing the heavy door open. Surprisingly it didn't creak ominously but he didn't know what to expect.
The first set of stairs seemed almost normal but they took them slowly, Kells leading the way until they reached the actual entrance door. That too opened smoothly and it hit him how well cared for the home was. For all it held the place was exactly that- a home to the homeless heroes. He always thought the Winchester's egos had been slightly inflated but at the same time… he had to admit they were that. "Well fuck." Dom whispered as they walked into the first area and down the stairs. The room was filled with equipment from long ago, tables with maps, and walls lined in just as many books as Tom's house.
The table they stopped in front of had letters etched into the top that had Dom pausing. He'd heard stories of course but it was starting to hit him where he was. His fingers traced the initials written with blades and emotions he didn't fully understand welled up inside him. "We should…" The demon trailed off. He wanted to get moving, he was sure some of the Winchester's old friends had alarms for the place. Whether heaven or hell he knew someone was watching and he didn't want to test pissing anyone off. He couldn't push the kid though, he could sense some intense feelings rolling off him and he stepped closer, wrapping his arms around his lover.
"I'm alright. It's jus' strange, yeah? Regular people don't know. It jus' makes ya wonder 'ow long the legend lasts. Is tha' it? Will me memory jus' be me name carved somewhere and two immortals occasionally finking about me? 'Ow long before you and Tom forget…" He trailed off but the devil held him tighter.
"You're not going anywhere bitch, you think I'd let you go so easily? Nah. You're stuck with me now." Kells purred back, nuzzling his cheek to the kid's wild hair. That scared voice broke his heart even though he still wasn't sure he had one.
Dom started to say something back but the lights turned on all around them and their instincts kicked into overdrive. Dom had his newly acquired angel blade at the ready and Keliphos pulled one of his guns. He caught an eye roll from his partner but they were both too focused on their surroundings. "Hello Keliphos, Dominic. I mean you no harm. We felt the wards crossed and I just wanted to check who it was." A deep rasped voice filled the room before a man stepped out from the shadows. He had chocolate brown hair and blue eyes to rival the demon's though Dom wouldn't say it out loud. The man was wearing a trench coat and a soft smile and the nephalem couldn't believe his eyes.
"Castiel? But- you-" He couldn't think of the polite way to ask 'didn't you get devoured by the Empty?' but thankfully the angel understood.
"You can imagine how often I hear that. Yes, I was taken but I was saved. Rewarded I suppose, after everything. That's not why you came here though, was it?" They could both tell he didn't exactly seem like he wanted to talk about it. Even though Dom was dying to hear- the story was a bit legendary in the small queer hunting community, he knew better than to push. They were here for a favor technically.
"Angel to angel, we need the Colt." Keliphos explained without saying too much. He didn't trust other people around his boy.
Castiel stepped closer, his trench coat swishing around him. They put their weapons away, it didn't seem like he was there to attack- not physically at least. When he stood only a few inches away he took the demon's hand. "But you're not just an angel are you? Just like he's not just a boy. Tell me Keliphos, do you do this for love or revenge?"
The nephalem's brows furrowed but he tried to meet the angel's eyes. Fuck. He'd heard he was intense but it seemed worse. Blunt bastard. "Uh- revenge?" He meant it as a statement but it came out more a question that made the other man smile.
"I see lying to yourself is still part of the Hunter's manual." Cas was seemingly cracking a joke to himself but they were both too nervous to try and laugh. He nodded after a moment and dropped his hand, taking Dom's next. The devil had to fight himself not to growl.
"Dominic, do you do this for love or revenge?" He asked again and the boy could feel something under his skin. It felt like the angel was searching out his soul, looking through every atom that he was made up of just to find the truth.
Jade eyes flicked to the beast before dropping to the ground. It took him a moment to speak without stuttering. "It started as revenge. Astaroth killed me family and cursed me. The bastard ruined me life but now… now I know he's done so much worse."
"Do you still hate what you call a curse?" The angel pried a little deeper, his hands still wrapped around Dom's.
After watching his lover gripped by so many emotions all day Keliphos had to wonder if Dom was in heat. Even as he stood talking to Castiel he looked on the verge of crying and Kells almost called an end to it all but they were so close. So fucking close.
"I-" The Hunter's voice broke, his eyes welling with hot tears.
"Some might see it as a blessing. You remind me of one of my brothers actually. He was an omega who wanted to fight instead. He always hated what he was and called it a curse from our Father. Perhaps for him it was after all, he was stolen for exactly that reason but he told me…" Cas trailed off, his gaze flicking between them both. "I saw him after he was taken and he told me he finally understood love. That he knew our brothers and Father didn't know true love because as a mother- he finally felt how pure and strong it could be." He cleared his throat, staring off in the distance before he shook himself out of it. "You have that chance as well and I wonder if you still see it as a curse?"
Dom thought for a moment but before he could speak Kells did. "It doesn't matter, you seem to know enough about us so you should know-"
"Yes, I know what happened to you. I'm talking to your Hunter." It wasn't rude or dismissive exactly but the devil's eyes went wide anyway before he huffed and crossed his arms.
"I- no. I don't fink so. I mean… I don't want it to change when we kill Astaroth. I don't want Kells to leave if-"
"You have got to be kidding me-"
"Luv, shut up." Dom snapped before continuing. He was already tearing himself open, he didn't feel like fighting his lover. "I know we can't… but Tom said maybe he could 'elp after every'fin is settled. I don't want to change now. It feels… right wiv 'im. I want revenge for Kells, for me family, for the fact tha' we may never 'ave our own because of Astaroth. I want revenge for 'is mum and Ramiel. Any person he did it to. So… I do it for revenge for love." Dom took a deep breath after his little rant and felt himself shaking. When he met Castiel's eyes they were soft and smiling again.
"Did we pass your fucking test?" Keliphos grumbled. The knowledge that Dom was even thinking about wanting a family and he couldn't give it to him hurt. He didn't mean to snark the angel but he couldn't help it. Why did he have to fuck with them like that?
"You remind me of someone who used to live here. Answering all emotional situations with anger only hurts yourself, nephalem. Take care you don't push everyone away when you have what you need." The angel sighed, looking to the etching on the table. Without another word he vanished, the sound of rustling wings the only thing left.
"Great, you pissed off our 'elp. Fantastic job alpha." Dom growled, lacing his lover's title with sarcasm.
"I didn't mean to! He was touching you! I didn't like it. Plus-" His words were cut off by the angel reappearing and he was thankful. He might have been too honest in explaining how much it hurt him to know he couldn't give Dom what he wanted.
"Here, the Colt. It has been remade but tested I believe. Take it and avenge everything you have lost." Cas held a box out to Kells and he took it gratefully. He wanted to check the contents but that seemed rude given everything.
"Hey um… what happened to your brother?" The demon didn't mean to ask so bluntly but he couldn't help wondering. How many angels had his father stolen?
A confused look crossed the angel's face before he gave a wistful smile. "You would know better than I do. We thought Ramiel had fallen with Lucifer but I found him sometime later. He had been stolen by something we didn't have a name for at the time- you know before your father called himself a demon he was something else altogether. He had a young child with him. I believe he had been hiding with the help of the fae realm because he called the child 'Col' or, 'little creature'." He paused, tilting his head a moment. "I suppose my brother was just as literal as I was once. Ramiel loved that boy dearly. I… I never felt his death but I assume that's what happened to him." Cas looked pained by the thought but Kells could understand that, the guy had lost a lot over the years.
"I'm sorry Cas." He offered softly but almost growled when his lover stepped closer to the other man to give him a quick hug.
"Fank you Cas, you been a big 'elp. We'll bring it back if ya want, when we done."
"As long as you keep it safe we don't mind. Dean said- 'As long as it's kicking some demon ass like it's supposed to be.'" He quoted the human exactly- with air quotes at the wrong time and they all chuckled. Dom couldn't help seeing what Castiel had said, Kells did seem to have a kinship with the Hunter.
They said their 'see you later's, alluding to a future they didn't know for sure would come to pass but they didn't want to think it'd be the last time they'd ever see him. He gave them a few more things from around the bunker to help, all of it contained in a bag that felt well used and smelled like gunpowder and whiskey before he walked them to the door. Cas made sure the key was safely in the devil's pocket after he closed the door behind them and looked up to the sky. "I'm being summoned." He rolled his eyes but shook both their hands with a smile. When they turned back to the car he spoke one last time. "He wouldn't have given you up without a fight Col, he loved you fiercely just as you will love yours. If Ramiel is still alive your father may have him. Find him or at least find out the truth before using that weapon please." And with that he left them both dumbfounded and staring at each other.
Dom had known. Somewhere deep down he'd known, he was sure of it. Keliphos however would have ignored the possibility at all cost because knowing his mother's name made him all the more real. The nephalem was trembling as he walked the rest of the way to LuLu and his lover helped him inside. The fake leather was so hot it almost burned his skin but the pain helped ground him. His omega crawled into his lap to try and help even more. There was a new voice in his head that was almost louder than the boy's for a moment, a long buried memory that he thought had been carved out of him in hell. Bright blue eyes and long soft dark hair flashed in his mind so strong he could almost feel his tiny fingers curling in it. He had a name that wasn't a curse. He had been loved once. He wasn't hopeless. Was he? "Col." The memory hurt his heart but his partner brought him back with gentle kisses and loving soft touches.
"I've got you. Jus' breave. Wha' do you need?" The kid asked.
Kells squeezed the box tighter until the corners hurt his hands and grounded him. When he could finally see the world around him and breathe again another memory hit him. Tom giving him a look when Ramiel was mentioned. "Home. We need to go home. I'm okay, I just… I'm okay." He tried to soothe the nervous Hunter as he slid from the devil's lap and took his seat.
The beast waited a moment before thinking 'fuck it' and he laid out across the seat. His back was on the faux leather with his head in Dom's lap, turned sideways so he could scent his skin and nuzzle under his shirt. Sunlight and honey soothed his pain as the car started moving and the kid pet through his hair. He had a few questions for their witch friend but Tom was fast becoming family so there had to be a reason. He couldn't piss off the guy who was going to help them someday but shit- Tom owed them after that. Kells has another name and maybe a family. But… he had that already didn't he? Dom was his family. He could handle anything they learned about Ramiel as long as he had him and that more than anything proved the angel's point. It was love he was fighting for, not revenge. Fuck.
Author's Note/Tags: @iamnotanearthlingmotherfucker @hollywoodxwhore @jaxbreaker @fenoy7 @cole-way-iero28 🖤
Well that was a plot heavy chapter! I hope you enjoyed it! So Ramiel is his mom, did anyone realize already? Why did Tom seem to know but not tell them? Why can Dom feel the magic of the bunker? How will they find out about Ramiel? Why was he hiding with the fae? How will Kells handle the news? Keep reading to find out! Thank you so much 🖤⚰️
#yungblud#dominic harrison#dom harrison#machine gun kelly#mgk#colson baker#dom and colson#dom and colson fic#dom x colson#dom x colson fic#yungblud and machine gun kelly#yungblud and machine gun kelly fic#yungblud x machine gun kelly#yungblud x machine gun kelly fic#com#com fic#domson#domson fic#my fics#jinx fics#abo#alpha beta omega#supernatural inspired#surprise cas#demon kells#hunter dom#quest character#plot heavy#the colt#mpreg
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the lyrics "this is holy, holy" playing over their love scene. aaAAAhhhHH so weak for that kinda thing
simon covering up for sara yet AGAIN with their mom over the whole august thing 😭 I think he's going to forgive her and get over it pretty fast with what he told wille about not wanting august to destroy families
I was really upset abt wille/felice but I'm mostly over it. It is what it is.
I kinda wish there had been more stakes with Marcus? Don't get me wrong, it was funny how Simon was Not really into him, and they had no chemistry whatsoever, but like... what if they did? What if Simon had actually liked him y'know??
I can't stop thinking about the scene where Wille shows up at Simon's house and tells him he would abdicate for him. For them. It's everything, my favorite scene from the season.
Wille puking when he realizes any chance of leaving his role in life behind is gone!!!!!! 😭
* I love that they used another Elias song and that they used it during a love scene. I had been hoping for the use of Revolution during a sex scene but tbh this was even better
* I don’t think he’s gonna forgive her fast and I don’t want him to. What Sara did was beyond fucked up and I want her to have a good, juicy redemption arc, Simon forgiving her right away totally removes all stakes
* I was upset about Wille/Felice too at first but now that I completely understand the thought process behind it and the message that Lisa was trying to convey as she explained in her live (sometimes you try stuff with friends and it doesn’t work and that doesn’t mean it has to totally ruin your friendship) and I absolutely love their classroom conversation and how Felice called Wille out and wille acknowledged his shitty behaviour. I love that it resolved quickly and their friendship recovered. I love how clear it was that Wille was not using Felice to see if he liked girls or not, because that wasn’t the point - he wanted to see it what he felt with Simon could be replicated with someone else and who better than a close friend like Felice, and this just proved to him that no, I can’t feel this way for anyone else, Simon is it for me, and despite that realization, he still decides to let Simon go. I love the på bordet scene and I love Wille yelling at everyone about how stupid and invasive this tradition is. I love how Simon’s face falls as he realizes wille kissed someone else. I love that it lead to petty, jealous Simon; that was a gift. I also love that Simon never took out his jealousy on Felice or directed it towards her. So as much as I hated watching them kiss - it was yucky - I liked what it caused in the story. It basically sets in motion the switch from Wille chasing Simon to the other way around, which was much needed.
* I disagree about Marcus. There were many angles they could have used for this “love triangle” and this is the one they chose; I think it worked brilliantly. Because the point was never about who Simon was going to choose, and ultimately it didn’t matter if Simon really liked Marcus or not; he’s batshit crazy in love with Wille and nothing was gonna change that. The point with Marcus was that the easier option is not always the best or right option. Like yeah, Marcus likes him openly and there’s less drama and it’s chill, but he’s flawed in his own ways. He’s pushy and manipulative and he doesn’t set Simon’s soul on fire like Wille does. Wille makes Simon creative and passionate and a better person; Marcus just made him feel small. The ultimate question was what was Simon willing to sacrifice for love; his priorities needed to be examined and Marcus existed to give him that push, as Lisa said, and Simon ultimately decided fuck it, nothing is certain in life, I just wanna be with Wille. Simon was far too in love with Wille for Marcus to ever have a chance, so I’m honestly glad Simon didn’t feel anything for him.
* Yes, the scene outside Simon’s house is everything, I LOVE that Rosh and Ayub were there. Wille was so brave to speak his truth in front of them, when we know how scared he is of public speaking. He made that risk for Simon. I also love that he kept his distance and literally gave Simon space, and didn’t try to touch him or sway him with anything other than his honest words. “You have to do what’s best for you, Simon.” Things are no longer just on Wille’s terms, as Simon expressed last season. It’s poetic.
* Edvin killer that scene; I genuinely believed he was throwing up, it was so realistic. His performance this season was god-like.
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