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#hilarious murder concept
friendofthecrows · 2 years
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You know how skeletal remains are often identified by dental records? Wouldn't it be fucked up if someone killed someone and then filed their teeth? (rather than just smashing that whole area and trying to dispose of the bits)
Imagine you're a forensic odontologist and are met with that. I'm not saying it would make the remains impossible to identify, it wouldn't, I'm just saying wouldn't that be weird?
Initially, I was thinking of like smoothing out their teeth, but what if they made different fake features.
Now, forensic odontologists use more than just the crown of the teeth, they have other information like dental radiography and stuff but I imagine that would throw someone off. Like, the rest is the same but the crowns of the teeth are different??? Is this a different person with coincidentally similar roots or...
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boylikeanangel · 1 year
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hmm. if and when we get phillip featuring more heavily in a future knives out movie I really hope there's a fully realised version of the moment in glass onion where a woman is coming onto blanc and he's doing the whole trying to be a gentleman about this, ohh I'm flattered but.... and then phillip "get straight to the point" nolastname steps in and says something like "I'm afraid he's otherwise engaged", and then blanc introduces phillip as his Partner and THEN they have to do the whole runaround where everyone thinks "engaged" means too busy with work and "partner" means investigative partner but what they actually mean is gay partner and engaged as in Engaged to be Married. the perfect reversal of the many generations of people mistaking platonic partnerships as gay couples For Funnies in this kind of genre. the anti-bbc sherlock, if you will
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lemontartyellow · 1 year
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There is a pretty good chance that Ed being able to throw away the drugs without any repercussions was just bad writing, but I find it funny to think that he was so scared of the homosexuality demons after homoerotic hallucination that his fear single-handedly broke his addiction.
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xamaxenta · 10 months
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One time Ace went Marco what would happen if you gave into your zoan instinct
Marco’s smile falters somewhat, why?
Ace sensing the unease rephrases, makes a vague joke of it like is it embarrassing ?
Marco wishes that was all it was, but its not, its nothing tame which is the wrong thing to say to a person as curious as Ace
So he indulges him whilst remaining firm about his opinions on the matter, the phoenix is a bird of prey, it is a cold merciless hunter with deadly efficiency, generosity and its associated symbolism with vitality longevity and revitalisation are simple ploys to keep docile prey flocking to take shelter beneath its claws , which he personally thinks is needlessly cruel
Ace doesnt seem to buy it, but Marco lives with this beast burning inside him so his words should mean something
Leaves him eager for more answers tho
Maybe pokes and prods enough that Marco would relent and make a maybe bad decision, like giving into his zoan instinct
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riellegaming · 8 months
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the idea that sidurgu worships halone is so scary. can you read btw
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pochapal · 2 years
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sayo going about her day to day on rokkenjima as the placid compliant shannon and acting like she isn’t always exactly one slippage in self control away from indulging the constant vortex of rage stewing beneath the surface of her furniture mask and killing someone
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glitterhoof · 10 months
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joker 2019 is written by someone who's never seen joker in any media ever and paul dano riddler is literally just some guy from 4chan
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bugablu · 9 months
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backpackingspace · 9 months
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once again I am on my it's hilarious that lan wangji is chief cultivator bs
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dailyink · 7 months
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10/8 Day 8: Tumblr sexyman
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jcdonkey · 1 year
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>How the old Polish woman sitting next to me on the NYC subway car looks at me when I lose my battle with anal retention and shit my pants violently, with shit running out the bottom of my pants leg and puddling on the floor.
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corpsebasil · 1 year
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Bonnie and Clyde
When Ghostface kills you in Tara's apartment, the Core Four is left to mourn you.
this concept is just hilarious to me because I can imagine Quinn and Ethan just throwing shit around banging textbooks on the wall as she pretends to be murdered lmao
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"Guys, I'm gonna go call Ethan." You said, standing up from the kitchen table. You flicked Chad on the shoulder as you passed, winking at Sam as she smiled at you.
"Don't do anything inappropriate, young lady." Sam told you, raising an eyebrow as you grinned. Chad had just finished dubbing you all the Core Five, a statement that only you responded with a high-five to.
"No, don't leave me!" Chad gasped, clutching his heart dramatically. "My only friend."
"I've got to go strip tease your roomie." You told him, wiggling your brows as everyone groaned and protested.
"When will it be my turn?" Tara asked, then squealed when you ran to her chair and planted sloppy kisses on her face. "Enough! Enough!"
"Where is he anyway?" Mindy asked, eyes narrowed slightly in suspicion. "His secret evil lair?"
"Econ." You replied breezily, patting her shoulder as you spun and moved towards the hall. But you still turned and, with a mischievous grin on your face, flashed your bra to the group as everyone screamed with laughter. "Byyyee!"
You dashed into your bedroom, pausing to blow kisses to Anika in the Livingroom, before you entered the space. You shut the door and leaned against it, your giggles dying as you looked towards your bed. There, sprawled across your comforter, texting away as if nothing was out of the ordinary, was Ethan.
The Ghostface mask lay discarded on the bed beside him, and his head turned when you walked in.
"Econ, huh?" He asked, and you knew he'd heard the entire conversation. "I'm waiting for that striptease."
"Shut up." You hissed, making sure the window wasn't being looked into as you grabbed his hand, pulling him into sitting position. "How do you wanna do this?"
"Come here," he urged, whispering, as you both walked out of sight from the window. He pulled a tube of fake blood out of his robes and then glanced at your face, raising a brow. "Do you care if I slash your shirt?"
"As long as you don't slash me, no."
He took the initiative, lifting your shirt and pulling the material as far away from your body as he could, cutting several long slices through it. You shivered as cold touched your skin; the AC was always too low in this place, but you didn't have time to raise it right now. He proceeded to pour fake blood on you, soaking the sliced open bits of shirt as best he could, then dumping some on his hands and running them through your hair, ignoring your cringe.
"You sure you're okay with this?" He asked. He was hardly an inch away from you, keeping you against the wall as he worked. "I'm going to have to throw you. To make it more convincing."
"Sure, piece of cake." You mumbled, eyes running over his face. God, he was beautiful. "I'll just play dead. Like a possum." His grin tugged at your heart as he finished his setup, making sure there was blood on the wall and floor as well. Then he chucked the bottle of fake blood into your closet, wiping his gloves clean on his robes.
"My favorite actress." He mused, picking up his mask and moving back over to you. "What did I do to deserve you?"
"Lots of kissing." You said, tilting your head as you peered up at him. "You're funny, too. Sometimes. Especially when you pretend that you're some dorky little—" He cut you off, dipping his head to crush his mouth to yours, and you slid your fingers into his hair, tugging him closer. He gripped your waist and groaned, pulling back half an inch to whisper into your mouth.
"I'm going to do so many things to you once I see you tomorrow." He said, earning a shudder as he nipped your bottom lip. "Showtime, sweetheart?"
"Sure—" You stifled a laugh when he banged his fist against the wall, tugging his Ghostface mask on. He knocked over your side table—previously emptied, for these purposes—and when it crashed to the floor, you heard the sounds of your friend group that had been the background to your conversation this entire time stop.
"Come on baby, time to shine." Ethan whispered and, on cue, you screamed.
"NO!" You shrieked, fighting off a laugh as he turned towards you, walking over comically slow. You fought at him, with little effort, as he picked you up and tossed you onto the bed.
Ethan, having had noticed something beyond you, stabbed down at you with his knife, and you'd be lying if you said you didn't feel a flash of nervousness before the blade imbedded itself in the mattress beside you. Your head turned as you pretended to sob, and you saw, to your surprise, Sam's neighbor friend watching in horror through his window. He ran out of sight and you screamed louder, then stopped when Ethan's hand covered your mouth.
"Good girl." He whispered, and lifted you, moving you towards the door. "I'm sorry if this hurts. Play dead." You shut your eyes, bracing for the impact, as Ethan opened the door and threw you straight into Tara.
She screamed as you rolled off her onto the ground, your face pressed against the floor. The group saw the blood, they saw your body, and they didn't take five seconds to think critically before Ethan was after them.
Go check my masterlist for part two!!
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thechekhov · 3 months
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Dungeon Meshi Quick Reacts: CH45
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Slumber party!
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Fair, but consider: She deserves a little murder. As a treat.
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Kabru be like "IS THAT MY BACKSTORY???"
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That sure is....a ship. With no one on it.
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Ah, shit the Americans are here.
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Two things: Toshiro being tended to like a pretty pretty princess is hilarious.
And also, the fact that they think the elves can kill Falin......... hmmm.... Pressing X to doubt.
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............... oh. Laios. 😂
But also like. How was he MEANT to keep it silent? Put a little something in it? I thought since it was a magic bell you could code it to only ring when it's shaken with INTENT?
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Fancy ass house.
Also, Namari...........are you hitting that yet? Both of that?
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Oh, it's backstory time.
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Okay one: that's fucking tragic, it sounds like the Elves are just forcing the dungeons closed with no regard for how the ecosystem compensates and what people suffer by being in close proximity......
And another thing: Kabru. Kabru, isn't that what YOU'RE after? Having all the power?
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Why is this so much like that one meme where the girls at the party are looking at you.
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It's the same picture.
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Kabru that's. That's maybe not the way to go about it. you're going to give them MORE reasons to go in.
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Nevermind the governor not being into this 'good boy, now sign' talk, Toshiro's kinda right. Ya fucked up Kabru.
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No matter how far Laios runs, he cannot escape other people trying to tell him how to live his life. Poor guy. But at the same time...
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Is this real? Or a red herring?
Laios' father and mother seemed to be living relatively pious lives. They clearly had a good house, but it didn't seem like they were extremely rich. Then again, perhaps he's just a cousin of royalty? Is that why his parents wanted him to have children?
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They want to.... halt the growth of the dungeon? Is this another part of the natural ecosystem of things? Dungeons growing seems to point even more towards the idea that it's a gigantic, fleshpit-like creature instead of simply a construct.
Then again, constructs CAN be creatures. Like the golems.
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Elves not understanding how old humans are continues to be hilarious because like.
As humans, we HAVE this same concept of variant aging. Like. Dogs. We understand that dogs live less than us, and mature a lot slower. But this is.... COMMON KNOWLEDGE. Most people do not make it into adulthood without understanding that dogs mature within 1-2 years of their birth.
The fact that elves, a species with FAR more time on their hands, who have lived alongside other races for AGES....... have STILL not got the general concept of aging down....means their education is atrocious. Or they're all not paying attention.
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.......this. THIS is the most fascinating concept in this chapter.
The fallen.... turned into MONSTERS.
We know that dying inside the dungeon doesn't mean permanent death. But dying above-ground does.
We know that dying in the dungeon doesn't mean your body turns into a monster (aside from ghosts and ghouls?) ..... but dying aboveground.... DOES......?
WHAT'S THE TRUTH.
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👁👁
Hm.
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If Kabru and Laios fused, they could almost make one functioning human being.
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Senshi just beginning to speak in the middle of his own internal monologue is so real.
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...... what's going on there with the expression, buddy?
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Bread.......are they STILL carrying around flour with them?! How are they getting bread?!
Also, it's awesome that the eggs are canonically hard to crack, because it makes sense that they don't break during their many fighting events.
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Izutsumi really said ◉_◉
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Don't tell me Laios, who is sensitive to ghosts has ALSO been seeing things?
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Not gonna lie, that's highkey terrifying.
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Props to that ghost that's been following Laios around, not ever giving up hope that it can bother him into acknowledging it.
And also - hey, it already saved them once! that means it's probably not evil!
That, or it's the king of the bloody dungeon. Wouldn't that be something!
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Okay so here's everything I know about TF2. Please no one elaborate on anything I know about, because I think it's so much funnier if I have no context to anything. I have absorbed all of this through Tumblr osmosis
Emesis Blue is an excellent film
Soldier apparently was never an actual soldier, he just loves America and really wanted to kill Nazis (the second one i respect greatly)
Medic would probably give you a lobotomy for fun (i don't think this guy's even a doctor)
Two really old guys are fighting bloody wars over gravel I think and their father is named Grey Mann which was most definitely meant to make Gman enjoyers lose it but to be fair his name could also be Gary Man.
What am I on
Heavy and Medic are apparently gay but idk if this is a fandom seeing two men next to each other and going "gay" thing or a "all but confirmed gay" thing but TVTropes referred to them as "Heterosexual Life Partners" which is very funny
emesis blue is so fucking good oh my godddddd the respawn machine is horrifying just from the concept it turned scout into soup
Scout is half French and loves his mother (who is not french) and does not love his father (spy i think)
Medic presumably died went to hell and told the devil "oh I'm like a cat I have nine souls actually. So I should get to go back to being alive" and it fucking worked??????
THE FUCKING SCENE IN?? IN EMESIS BLUE??? WHERE. WHERE SOLDIER TELLS MEDIC "YOU'RE GONNA MAKE IT OUT" AND MEDIC SAYS "i KNOW" BEFORE HE JUST FUCKING DIES AND HE'S THE PROTAGONIST SO YOU'D EXPECT HIM TO LIVE RIGHT??? AND THEN HE JUST DIES AND DOESN'T APPEAR AGAIN FOR SO SO LONG
Pyro is an any pronouns warrior and it commits great atrocities while also having so much sillyness in his heart. I love her
I think Engineer blowed up his arm. I think
Spy is a cunt and also French. I do not think this I know this. I look at him and I sense his cuntery. It radiates off him. I can feel it.
SOMETHING ABOUT THE LETTER M BEING BRANDED ONTO MEDIC'S FACE BEING A REFERENCE TO THE MOVIE SCOUT WAS WATCHING WHERE THE LETTER M IS USED TO MARK A MURDERER. HE'S LITERALLY MARKED AS A MURDERER BY PYRO. SOMETHING ABOUT THE SCENE WITH DEMOMAN AND DELL'S BAR BEING A REFERENCE TO A SCENE IN THE SHINING WHERE THE MAIN CHARACTER IS LITERALLY TALKING TO A GHOST. SOMETHING ABOUT SCOUT'S MOTHER'S HEAD BEING HELD AROUND A CORNER AND DROPPED PARALLELING PYRO'S HEAD BEING HELD AROUND A CORNER AND DROPPED. SOMETHING ABOUT SCOUT'S "IF THEY EVER HIT YOU WITH SOMETHING, YOU HIT BACK TWICE AS HARD" WITH MEDIC SHOOTING SPY TWICE IN THE HEAD AFTER BEING SHOT ONCE IN THE GAME OF RUSSIAN ROULETTE WHY IS EMESIS BLUE SO GOOD
TF2 is in an eternal war with Overwatch for some reason
I was doing a poll a few days ago and the tags psychic blasted me with the information of "by the way people pay like fifty dollars to see medic's tiddies in game." I have gotten varying answers between ninety dollars to three hundred fucking dollars but the constant remains that people will pay Valve comically high amounts of money to see Medic's boobs. What
Scout almost got Earth exploded because he died a virgin???? But then God was like "Okay go back down to earth I'm giving them one last chance to all have sex with you" I'm so confused what does any of this mean none of this makes any sense but it's hilarious
Scout might be legitimately named after Jerma and bears a frightening resemblance to him (though to be fair scout is every white boy in one)
You should watch Emesis Blue it's free on youtube
Demoman's eye is sentient even though he doesn't have it????
I can't decide who's my favorite the white boy the unethical scientist or the silly nonbiney war criminal
Conclusion: What the fuck is team fortress the second one about
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It’s hilarious how Vaggie made herself a ‘sinner’.
How that linked her up with Charlie is such a weird, round about truthful way, even when she was lying by omission about it.
And how amazingly dumb it all makes Adam and Lute look.
Thousands of helpless souls killed by her, but she didn’t do anything ‘wrong’ until she wondered if what she was doing was right. The divine powers in her life only took her wings and condemned her to hell after she doubted their orders, their idea of justice, and quietly chose not to completely follow them.
“You fucked up” they tell her “your mistake” she “left the band” “tried for a solo career". It’s so pathetic. They're so butthurt over the idea of one of their own having a mind of her own.
It’s also so funny, because they spin her simple act of whispering “Go, run. Now!” to demon kid she’d been holding at spear point like it was big defiant move- which makes it into one- even though she never challenged them openly, or threatened them.
Hell, Lute’s “You always were weak” plus exorcist Vaggie always frowning while her murder sisters all grin with glee as they kill sinners- it paints a picture of Vaggie never having been as into exterminations as she ‘should’ have been. Too weak to be a proper exorcist no matter how good at killing she was, not just “the traitor” but also “the failure”.
And she was scared of that. She didn’t want anyone seeing her spare that child, whispered her words to them in a back alley, out of sight.
She was scared of what would happen and didn’t even fight it when Lute took her eye and wings- she was scared and no threat in any tangible way, but apparently refusing to do one single murder is enough to freak Adam and Lute the fuck out.
One woman. Doesn’t do exactly what she’s told. After who knows how many decades of being one of the “top girls” at murder, a “bad bitch” named after “the best thing ever”, and they still get spooked by that tiny moment when she wasn’t under their total control. Like it's such a betrayal to them, her daring to so much as think this level of violence isn’t justified actually, and for a split second act on that thought.
It’s an instant ticket to ousting her from the exorcists AND from heaven, while they fly the fuck off again.
“If angels can do whatever, and remain in the sky-”
and they do. After doing that to one of their own. They did that, to someone who was supposedly meant to be in heaven. They didn’t wait for divine justice- took it, and her eye, and her wings, and her halo, into their own hands and tore them away from her. Then happily, they spend the next three years up in heaven, slurping smoothies and doing more murder sprees.
until Vaggie comes strolling back with the princess of hell, there supporting her girlfriend and the idea that all the shit she did for so long really was and IS wrong.
oh and Adam and Lute are pisssssssed about it. They take her being there PERSONALLY, wanna solve it with VIOLENCE
She hurts them without even trying. Without even noticing they're there.
They're told to fix the princess of hell situation and they have no concept of forgiveness, of caring about sinners, so they guess (rightly) that Vaggie hasn't told Charlie about her past and bet (wrongly) that Charlie would never forgive her if she knew, and also assumed (rightly) that Vaggie would be terrified of that
But they don't get that she's scared of hurting Charlie. Of Charlie being hurt by her. It's a selfless thing. That's her whole PROBLEM.
Her running to hold Charlie after the reveal- her NOT breaking down when Charlie takes alone time in the aftermath, respecting that right up until she thinks Charlie's actively in danger- afraid FOR Charlie when the deal with Alastor is made, no crumbling that Charlie went to someone else for help, when being helpful to Charlie is basically her raison d'étre- agreeing to go alone to an overlord, after learning she can DIE and THIS OVERLORD knows how to do it- all this for the sake of Charlie's dream, their shared goal, their hotel. Their friends, resigned to despair in the hotel lobby, losing hope and maybe hours away from losing their lives
No shit she was never going to bow down to the blackmail?? It'd be like turning herself inside out. Charlie isn't just some "little hottie" or whatever, they're partners. They're in this together. Even when Charlie out loud doubts if that's true, it still is.
Lute and Adam don't GET what it means, that Charlie assumed Vaggie was a sinner already. That the thing she'd be hurt about was the lying, not the murder. She was scared of not really being loved by Vaggie- of everything else wonderful between them being a lie too, all that support and faith empty empty- she wasn't afraid of loving Vaggie, whoever Vaggie had been, she was afraid of who Vaggie might be now and that she'd never really believed in Charlie at all.
Charlie was angry at the thought that Vaggie didn't think she would've accepted her. The idea of not really being understood or trusted by Vaggie, that's what hurt.
And it goes against everything Lute and Adam are, Charlie actually caring about sinners while knowing what they've done- about an exorcist after finding out who they'd been- really trusting that people can change. Lute and Adam hear her say it and see her stand up for it and they just want her to shut up and die
again though, no shit she was going to stick with Vaggie after the truth came out, in the end. Once she had a moment to take a breath and step out of her head long enough for a reality check
Vaggie didn’t say to Charlie what she'd done or who she'd been. But she’s been and keeps doing what she can to follow that idea, unvoiced, from that day when she couldn’t kill a sinner- something Charlie didn't know about but now knows must have happened- A final death means no second chance and no worth as a person, but Vaggie didn’t think that, even before meeting Charlie she didn't think that.
She's always been on Charlie's side. They were on the same side before they ever set eyes on each other. All this time, for three whole years, and now she's off to go find a way to protect everything they've built together.
"-words are cheap, but actions, they speak the truth"
Charlie never really stopped trusting her. Maybe she wondered if she should, but even then, she had Vaggie go to Carmilla to find the key that might save them all.
"She killed an exorcist in the last extermination. She knows how they can be harmed."
"But… I- I didn't even know that was possible."
"If you did, would you have told me?"
So Charlie asked. A pretty painful thing to say- and she said it even as she sent an angel to go find out a way to hurt other angels.
She DID trust that Vaggie WOULD tell her.
The irony of all this happening thanks to Adam and Lute trying to keep it from happening, and all of it leading up to Vaggie getting back part of what they took from her, because now she doesn't need them or heaven to be an angel anymore.
Charlie has faith in her. Enough to send her off on an important mission even after Vaggie hurt her- and send her right to the person who end up helping Vaggie get back her wings.
“The rules are shades of gray when you don’t do as you say”
Vaggie’s new fucking wings are gray when Lute sees them. When Vaggie’s standing over her, sparing her life, her wings and that one, fucking unexplained stripe separating her from the other exorcists, all of it is GRAY.
That visual gut punch of, you’re. Fucking. Wrong. You’re wrong about sinners, you’re wrong about supposedly protecting heaven, you’re wrong thinking you can just DO this shit. That imagery of an angel who DIDN’T stay in the sky because she DIDN’T think being angel meant everything she did had to be right- who’s here in hell, trying to protect sinners from heaven’s slaughter-
And Lute wanted Vaggie to “correct” HER “mistake”? Vaggie’s???
That’s Lute, admitting that people in hell can get second chances and make up for what they did. Admitting that “Sinful filth” like Vaggie can be redeemed in some way, by following Lute’s version of what’s right.
But wasn’t her and Adam’s whole thing the idea of blowing your shot? Getting no other chance after it?  
Oh yeah. Vaggie doesn’t believe that though. Not for sinners like her, not for angels like her.
She let’s Lute live. She does it to make Lute suffer, but there are a lot of ways to make someone suffer- an eye for an eye for example- and Vaggie chooses the one that doesn’t hurt Lute more than it has to, that leaves her alive, and leaves Lute’s suffering to be something completely of Lute’s own making (a HELL of Lute's own making, if you will) (Lute choosing to tear her OWN arm off to continue the fight-).
She's totally dismissive of the woman who was just going after her remaining eye like a dog after a bone.
Why is it that nothing Adam and Lute to do her matters?
Why don’t THEY matter to her at all?
Walking right past them, being so done with them up in heaven, not caving to the blackmail, only being worried about Charlie afterwards, not letting that crack in their relationship stop her from doing what she can for their hotel, Lute threatening to take her other eye and BLIND her just making her snark- even the vague threat to Charlie only gives Vaggie the oomf she needed to defend herself.
“Pathetic” she calls Lute. She’s right- they’re so pathetic, both them, Adam and Lute. They’re so scared of being wrong. So pissy over the idea of being less than great and perfect.
It breaks them. Adam’s last words are him having a meltdown in the face of not actually being hot shit. Where’s his respect, he wails, they should all be worshiping him! But they’re not. One of his random decedents stabs him to death because he would’ve done the same to her, and one of the last things he hears is Vaggie- the fuck up, the traitor, his former grumpy top girl Vagina- whooping with glee as he dies.
And Lute lives knowing that could’ve been her, too.
If it wasn't for Vaggie.
Being not all that didn’t break Vaggie. Finding out she was wrong got her to stop and think and change, not run straight on blindly into a fight that ends up with her (with HIM) dead.
Why does she go from terrified of Lute and Adam, to dismissive and annoyed and just all around not caring about them at all?
They gave up all her respect for them when they demanded the death of a child.
The father of humanity wanted a child killed. A helpless, whimpering kid, sacrificed to his ego and bruised pride, and for shits and giggles. His first lieutenant saw failing to do so as a sin worthy of hell. All this over a child. How could she ever take them seriously after that.  
She came down from high and chased the child and held a blade over them on divine command.
Then, somehow, she saw the HORNS in her own shadow above them- even though she wasn’t WEARING her MASK, and she stopped.
She was her own messenger angel.
She chose to give the child mercy, and became the sacrifice herself.
Vaggie stuck it to the man. Didn’t steal that life. And, terrified of what would happen to her next, acted selflessly. The same thing that got her left behind in hell should have earned her place in heaven, according to Adam-
heaven was shit to her though. Made her into a soldier. Sent her to kill and kill and kill. Taught her trust on the battlefield- in heaven, of all fucking places-
Timeline wise we see her very first smile when she meets Charlie. When a stranger does- again- the bare minimum for someone else.
When she’s back up in heaven later she isn’t wistful, just angry, uncomfortable, annoyed. She isn’t happy there. It’s not home to her, like her and Charlie’s room back at the hotel is. Why should it be? What good did she ever find in herself up there?
Down here though, she's happy. Hell is where her heaven started. So I guess in the end, she did find what she’d earned after all. Or it, Charlie, found her.
When “The rules are shades of gray…”
Sometimes they’re wrong, and you have to break them.  
People like Lute and Adam would rather crack under the pressure and die instead, but not Vaggie. They're out for blood. She's out for love.
Sucks to be them~
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absolutebl · 1 month
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This Week in BL - The Industry is Having Issues But the Spice Spicy Must Flow
Organized, in each category, with ones I'm enjoying most at the top.
March 2024 Wk 4
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Ongoing Series - Thai
Two Worlds (Thurs IQIYI) eps 1-2 of 10 - One of those "he's dead Jim so time travel" thingames starring MaxNat. I'm over this concept but I do enjoy MaxNat. Phupha (Gun) and Khram (Nat) love each other but Phupha is murdered. Then Khram is pulled to a parallel world where, years ago, Khram and Tai (Max) were in love. However, Khram was killed by Tai’s dad. Now Tai finds alter-Khram. But then there is ALSO an alter-Phupha to deal with. (Phupha is played by Gun Thanawat who was Khom, the repressed butler bodyguard from Unforgotten Night. We like this, but we scared of the love triangle aspect.) Did that make sense? Yeah, okay, see what I mean?
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Initial thoughts?
The subs are troubling but I’m enjoying this show a lot. It’s nice to see MaxNat get something meaty to sink their teeth into - that’s not just each other. Also it’s so smart of them to give us a fully fleshed out entire episode developing the alter romance rather than just a separation + death. It makes Khram’s grief and motivation that much more believable. Also it’s really nice to see Nat have good chemistry with other actors. 
Deep Night (Thurs iQiyi) ep 3 of 8 (10?) - I'm still enjoying it. But Two Worlds is objectively better. So this one has lost ranking. Also, unexpectedly chili (the name of my heavy metal Thai cover band).
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Lovey switchy and verse main couple too.
This is all quite pleasing.
The bit where the hosts pretend to be a BL couple actor ship was epic on so many levels.
Also unsettling.
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All sex work is performative, and in a way there is something more honest about this depiction, in this setting, than what BL actors are made to do on the promo circuit. Which then begs the question, how different is BL from sex work? That's the unsettling bit, for me anyway. Not to slam on sex work AT ALL, we pro-the-true-pros on this damn blog, but actors have been shaded by association with True Professionals for a very long time and BL has already had one epic shut down in this regard. (See the PerthSaint scandal around Love By Chance, no I will not explain.) Where was I? Oh yes, so anyway, see the Gossip section for the part where they better be paid either way!
Also, since I'm a warped fucker, I found this scene funny.
And then hilarious when all of those BL tropes were just trotted out. Like a greatest hits reel.
Truly beyond meta. (How Absolute BL of them.)
Note he’s even standing in yaoi's patented "hands in pocket with the shoulders back"? 
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Meanwhile, the gayest bridge in Thailand made its quarterly appearance:
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And lip serviced was paid to the most touristy romantic things you can do in Bangkok.
And I mean lip service literally. 
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To Be Continued (Thai C3 Thailand grey) ep 5 of 8 - I’m still enjoying it but getting more and more nervous. We getting too close to Promise territory for comfort. EXPLAIN Ji’s reticence well and do it now or risk audience mistrust. We have to be given a GOOD reason for Ji's behavior, or he'll be irredeemable.
City of Stars (Fri iQIYI) ep 8 of 12 - NO SINGING. Yes smiley kisses and good communication and a nice healthy relationship. But no singing!
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1000 Years Old ep 6 of 12 - Dropping in the ranks. I’m sorry it’s just gotten boring. It has, however, inspired me to invest in my own ridiculous cream fuzzy sweater. Which I plan to wear with leather trousers and huge stumpy boots, like the Kpop queer I truly am. Or do I mean vampire? 
Kiseki Chapter 2 (Sun iQIYI) ep 1 of 6 - Seems to be an excuse for a small posse of Thai actors to wander around Tokyo playing tourist and sing in public . Someone stop them?
“Most people think this kind of thing is bad manners .”
Anyway, it’s v boring. I’ll give it one more ep but I suspect I’ll DNF.
Close Friend Season 3: Soju Bomb! (Weds iQIYI) eps 1-2 of 6 - Meh. This is also looking suspiciously DNF-a-licious.  
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Ongoing Series - Not Thai
Unknown (Taiwan Tues Youku YouTube & Viki) ep 5 of 11 - It's brilliant. I love it. I'm ready to hurt. Let’s do this thing. 
Distribution note: This one has been picked up and is also airing on Viki now, so it may lose YT distribution in soem territories. I like Youku's hard subs better than Viki's subs, but that's a matter of preference not information since I don't speak Mandarin.
Love is Better the Second Time Around AKA Koi wo Suru nara Nidome ga Joto (Japan Weds Gaga) ep 3 of 6 - It is good. Every week I like this show a little more. I'm enjoying a reunion romance explored in Japan's quintessentially contemplative yet slightly surreal way. The juxtaposition of the tenderness of the sex scene with this Japanese brand of authenticity was oddly elegant - for lack of a better way of putting it. All in all, this is a good show. Thought provoking. Stylish.
AntiReset (Taiwan Fri Viki/Gaga) ep 9 of 10 - It remains lovely but they sure are reusing a lot of footage. Also, this was a classic penultimate doom episode. I do wonder how they are going to resolve this show ethically.
My Strawberry Film (Japan Thurs Gaga) ep 6 of 8 - It is what it is, and it isn’t my style of show no matter what country of origin. Oddly that's one of the reasons I don't like it. Anyone could have made this, it's not as Japanese as I want it to be, it's just indie film club high school angst. Yawn.
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I watched it, finally
The Servant and the Young Master (Vietnam YouTube) 7 eps - I dislike vertical filming, but I kind of enjoyed this show as a BL. I like class conflict romances. For me the rich kid is a bit too dictatorial (edges into bulling), but it’s kinda works. It’s sparse and underdeveloped and a bit plotless, but mildly entertaining. If you're missing Vietnamese BL you might give it a try. 6/10 
Began Beginning (Myanmar YouTube) 8eps - A Burmese BL that I had thoughts about but actually ended up recommending. Read the saga here:
It's done, ready to binge, but I suck
What Did You Eat Yesterday Season 2 AKA Kinou Nani Tabeta? Season 2 (Japan Gaga) 10 eps
It's airing but...
Graduation Countdown (Taiwan YouTube) ep 1 of ? - on one hand it's micro-installment vertical, on the other it's adorable and from Taiwan. I blame @heretherebedork entirely for my conundrum. As indeed, I did for My Type back in the day. (That was Nat Chen's first BL, yes of Kiseki: Dear To Me fame.) So I think I will also simply lean on Here to let me know when it's done and binge all at once. It's just too much to ask me to keep up with 2 minute pieces, I don't have that kind of endurance training, not even for BL.
Time the series (Tue Gaga/YT) 10 eps - it's finished now, I dropped it at ep 4. Should I bother?
A Secretly Love (Thai Sat WeTV grey) 10 eps - I watched the first ep but grey is too much work for this inferior of a show. I may pick up and binge if it gets distribution but for now, it gets a DNF from me. KimCop might have held this crap together but Kim without Cop? No thank you.
Lady Boy Friends (Thai WeTV grey) 16 eps - reminds me a bit too much of Diary of Tootsies only high school. Not my thing. DNF unless it turns a corner and is truly amazing for some reason.
Man Suang that MileApo vehicle from last year is coming to Netflix in the USA. I haven't heard much about it and since the KP stans would have lost their tiny minds if it was any good at all, I'm assuming it's not good at all.
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Gossip
Thai BL actor Yoon breaks with his former company and talks about some very very VERY shady goings on in the Thai BL industry. Including not being paid.
And whacha know, same thing happening in Korean BL.
Have I mentioned recently how much I hate the film industry?
Next Week Looks Like This:
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Starting Soon
3/31 Only Boo! (Thai GMMTV YouTube) 12 eps - New main couple for GMMTV in an idol romance about a boy who dances good and a food stand vendor. Other side of the tracks grumpy/sunshine pair who fall deeply in love but, of course, baby boy idol can't date. Boyband but from GMMTV? Control your singing and I'm game.
4/1 Love is like a Cat (Korea ????) 12 eps - This completed filming Aug 2022(!) which means there have been serious problems with post-production. This is another of Silkwood's Korean+Thai colab projects. Mew Suppasit plays a rookie film star, called the Cat Prince (for his cold arrogance) who goes up against a charismatic puppyish animal daycare director (JM of JUST B). There is also a side romance (love triangle?) with a veterinarian. Geonu of JUST B is also in the cast.
I wonder if this was part of the hold up, with Geonu on Build Up right now, they might have tried to muffle this one. Or maybe it's just that bad...
4/3 We Are (Thai GMMTV YouTube) 12 eps - University ensemble BL featuring PondPhuwin, WinnySatang, AouBoom, MarcPawinPoon - basically the good kind of messy gay friendship group (so more My Engineer and less Only Friends). Looks a bit like the Kiss series but everyone is queer. I'm IN!
Knock-Knock Boys (Thai WeTV?) - 4 college friends conspire to help their friend lose his virginity. Familiar faces like Seng (yes, Billy's previous partner), Best and frest face, news here.
Upcoming BLs for 2024 are listed here. This list is not kept updated, so please leave a comment if you know something new or RP with additions.
NOTE: It looks like one of my personal favorites of last year Unintentional Love Story is getting a spin off!
THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS
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Without ghost girl.
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With ghost girl.
I think she may be my favorite part of 1000 Years.
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CLASSIC tsundere seme description of a sunshine uke. Like classic'est of classic. (Two Worlds)
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Is there such a thing as a tired trope in a BL? Since it is a genre that is made up entirely of tropes quilted together? Your philosophical question for today brought to you by Deep Night's kabedon (Japanese trope) + punishment threat (Thai trope).
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Love me a lap sit moment. (City of Stars)
(Last week)
Streaming services are listed by how I (usually) watch, which is with a USA based IP, and often offset by a day because time zones are too much work.
The tag BLigade: @doorajar @solitaryandwandering @my-rose-tinted-glasses @babymbbatinygirl @babymbbatinygirl @isisanna-blog @mmastertheone
If ya wanna be tagged each week leave a comment and I will add you to the template. Easy peesy.
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