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#hi I'm alive sorry
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Ah yes, Jonathan escaping a vampire lair and having a violent brain fever for six weeks but on his first able correspondence still making sure to apologize to his boss and that his boss knows he wasn’t slacking on work. I too am in my 20s, stuck beneath the heel of capitalism, and have anxiety.
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ctafruzzz · 5 months
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No thoughts, only dinosaurs
(Silly me once again projecting myself into a comfort character :3)
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abellarts · 1 year
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The Fly
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[ID: A digital drawing of Jonathan Sims from the Magnus Archives. Jon is a thin British-Indian man with deep brown skin, short wavy brown hair with stripes of grey, a moustache, a mole on the right side of his mouth, and another one on the right side of his right eye. He wears thin golden rectangular glasses with chain, a messy white dress shirt, a loose red tie, and a sweater vest with a yellow and purple argyle pattern. The viewpoint is from a lower angle, looking up at Jon from his desk, as he looks down with a concerned expression on two piece of paper which he holds in his hand. His lips are parted as if he is speaking, his his brow furrowed in concentration, his eyes with an unnatural glow. His other hand pulls down his glasses to nearer to the bottom of his nose. A small microphone sits in the corner. Behind him is a stack of loose leaf papers and files. Haphazardly placed like a tower. Even further behind him are blurry red lines leading to the ceiling, connected together like a web. Looking down on Jon and connected to the web, is an eye. Or rather the impression of an eye created from the silhouette of a hanging lampshade. A sinister red light colours Jon from the bottom, a yellow light outlines Jon from the top, both contrasting with dark green shadows.
/End ID]
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tiredlylaughing · 12 days
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furries won with him ngl
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spocks-kaathyra · 2 months
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do u think that um. yk Julian was having a rough time in the later seasons. and ofc he wants to talk abt it, wants someone to help him process it, wants someone to just listen. but it's not easy to talk abt. and he wants to talk to Garak, wants Garak to know what's going on in his life, wants to be vulnerable and be met with support and care. but Garak is so emotionally unavailable and so unwilling to break his pleasant facade and so unwilling to deviate from their little social script. he was taught never to show care or vulnerability. and Julian gets so tired of playing their little game when, god, there's a war going on, his life is falling apart, can't Garak even acknowledge how bad things are for both of them? he doesn't need witty retorts, he needs sincerity. and Garak can't give him that. so he withdraws from their friendship. and it's not that Garak doesn't care. it's not that he doesn't want to help. but sincerity and vulnerability were beaten out of him a long time ago, and he doesn't know how to take off his mask. even just acknowledging genuine emotion is practically impossible for him. and maybe that's why ASIT is the apology that it is. it's saying, here, I've learned to be honest, I've learned to be vulnerable. I know the harm I caused you by refusing to acknowledge pain, so here's a whole book of me acknowledging pain.
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natelia-aldelliz · 1 year
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Guys imagine, Roach died, before the creation of 141, but Soap is able to see his ghost. He was originally following Ghost around, really annoyed that he was using his death as an excuse to not get close to anyone, but when he found out Soap could see him and talk to him he started following him around instead.
And they get really close, like two peas in a pod, except they have to be discreet about it because no one else can see or hear Roach, and they'd think Soap was crazy if they saw him talking to no one.
They use that for shenanigans too: Roach will go follow someone else and report back to Soap, Gaz is genuinely starting to believe Soap has superpowers or something. It's really useful on missions as well, and Soap managed to successfully rescue team members thanks to Roach being able to move through walls and everything.
(Roach is not the only ghost Soap is able to see btw, just the only one he's talking to.)
And then Roach is witnessing his past lover trying really hard to not fall in love with Soap, and Soap trying really hard to not do anything about the love he already feels, and he has to try and convince Soap that he is dead. During that conversation he finds out that something else that keeps Soap from doing something is that he feels very confused about everything because he also has feeling for Roach.
So now Roach has to try and convince him that even if he was still alive he wouldn't have a problem with that. He's known for a while that he was polyamorous, but he hadn't really dared talking to Ghost about that because he thinks he's jealous and possessive.
And Soap is like "oh yeah, you want me to go say to Ghost 'don't worry about your dead lover that I'm not supposed to know, he's actually polyamorous and also in love with me, I know because his ghost told me!' ??? I'm sure he's gonna take that well!"
But Roach is nothing if not resourceful and he manages to put Soap in situations where he's forced to interact with Ghost, and eventually they kiss and their relationship is beginning to be something. They're not really sure what.
And Roach is sad, because he has to watch the two men he loves being in love without him, yes, but at least they're both happy, and it makes him feel a bit better. And then during a mission Ghost almost dies.
Because he was alone and Soap and Gaz were together, Roach was following Ghost this time, ready to fly to Soap in an instant if there was any problems. But there was and he didn't have time, so he instinctively grabbed the gun being pointed towards Ghost's head and moved it as the person was shooting, saving Ghost's life, giving him enough time to shoot the enemy himself.
But even as the threat is eliminated, Ghost is still looking up from where he's on the ground, staring right through him, looking shocked. No, not right through him, he realises when he moves to the side and Ghost's eyes follow him. He also realises that he grabbed the gun. He's never grabbed anything before, in all his years of being a ghost.
Then suddenly Ghost's eyes move wildly around, and he figures he disappeared from his view. He can still go through the walls, but he's kept the ability to grab stuff when he wants. It gives him a ton of new possibilities, to fuck with people and, of course, to touch Soap.
"I wish you were actually alive," Soap whispers to him, holding his hands against his face as he's falling asleep.
"What the fuck," comes Ghost's voice the next morning, waking both of them up - wait, since when could Roach sleep?
Soap doesn't understand immediately, because he's always been able to see Roach. But Ghost is standing in the door, looking straight at dead past lover.
Turns out Soap is a necromancer and he had no idea, though the whole 'I can see dead people' should probably have told him sooner that he wasn't normal... The more he wishes Roach is alive, the more he actually is. And they all end up happy and together. And Gaz is very happy to have won the bet that Soap indeed has superpowers.
The day Roach says, in a wondering voice, "I... I think I'm hungry" is the day they understand that something is really happening and he's actually coming back to life.
(Also, Soap has no control at all on his abilities, he has no idea what does what and why, he knows nothing. No one knows.)
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lloydfrontera · 5 days
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sometimes i do feel for the adaptation team of tged when it comes to the relationship between alicia and lloyd because like. they were fighting a losing battle since the very beginning.
either they respected the source material and got crazy people (me) pointing out that the protagonist has more chemistry and relationship build up with his best friend than he does with his supposed romantic interest.
or they change it in the adaptation to make alloyd have more interactions and build up and get crazy people (me) upset and questioning why they're omitting or changing scenes that make lloyd and javier's relationship deeper in the novel to make them seem less close than they truly are.
there's just no winning for them because this is something that is inextricable from the source material
in the novel lloyd and javier's relationship is the core of the plot. whatever they have going on is the heart of the entire thing. and either you accept that and the fact that there's bound to be people who will see it as something romantic and be disgruntled when lloyd is unceremoniously married off to someone he barely knew and did not want to marry for 90% of the novel. or you change it and completely destroy the core of the plot, ruining what's probably the best part of the story.
it's an impossible choice,,,, if you're someone who can't stand the idea of having a protagonist who's a little fruity with his best friend that is lmao
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ghouljams · 11 months
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Sorry I just caught up on your blog and fae soap is making me beam. I can she one of those silly scooby doo montages of him racing around trying to resolve debts and keep even with hooks with you. You’re just so carefree and generous but he’s determined to have you on even footing
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I love Fae!Soap, but he is absolutely not trying to stay even with his darling! He just knows what to say to get his hooks in her, like I said he's an expert on trapping humans. He tells his darling to pay him back to test his hold on her, see if his tethers took hold. None of the fae boys are particularly interested in having equal footing with their darlings.
Still, I do think Fae!Soap's darling is better at keeping up with her debts than other Darlings. Or at least she looks better at it, but really she's just feeding the leannan sidhe.
"What's this?" Soap asks tugging the little paper bound notebook from your bag. You grab for it and he holds it out of your reach, thumbing it open.
"It's nothing, it's stupid, give it back," You tell him quickly, grabbing his other arm to try and pull him down. He just holds your notebook higher.
"If it's nothing then why do you care?" His free hand moves quickly, wrapping around your grabbing hand to hold it still, before he thinks better of it and twists it behind your back tugging you against his side. He's not hurting anything but your pride, but boy does that sting.
"It's not-" He hums cutting you off. Stopping you from saying the magic words, 'it's not polite.'
"These are good," His fingers tighten around your wrist, "Really good." You glance over your shoulder at him, watching him smile as he flips through sketch upon sketch of him. His face, his hands, eyes, smile, the way his muscles move, the way he catches the light, all neatly detailed in your meticulous cross hatching and obsessive line work. His hand on you burns and so do your cheeks.
"That's enough, I'm really-" You feel all his attention slide onto you, the heat of him as he moves to press against your back, holding your open notebook in front of you. Making sure you know he's seen the filth that's been occupying your mind. His lips brush against the shell of your ear as you turn to keep your eyes off the page he'd stopped on.
"Really what, hen?" His voice in your ear is low and promising, "looking for a live demonstration of what you're drawin'?"
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hollow-keys · 3 months
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If Three met Ten he would take one look at this weasel looking suit and converse wearing mf disrespecting Martha and pathetically crying over the Master and have him dead in a ditch by the end of the day.
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szollibisz · 8 months
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Most important part of Owen's characterization is that he's a bitter bitch. Like his stand-up young man act is great, but you know that man is rotting away on the inside from the constant anger and disdain towards the world, even before the fall. He's the most miserable person ever, he's just good at making people (including himself) believe he's just simply a super competent asshole who's better than everyone else. Like if anyone ever got to see behind the first few layers of how he presents himself they'd realize that man. This guy is just kinda sad and angry and never truly happy or satisfied, but he chooses not to acknowledge that, and he probably doesn't even know the full extent of it himself. And that's why his life flips on its head when he meets Curt who medicates his self-hate with hedonism instead of harsh conscious and subconscious self-discipline. The second most important part is that he's cunty.
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stagefoureddiediaz · 23 days
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Thinking thoughts about Abuela being back and with this backstory about her being taken in by charlatans and Eddies whole catholic guilt thing and how the two things kind of play into one another as an exploration of faith and being taken in by something.
Abuela giving all her money to the tarot card readers etc because she was searching for something - for connection (with Abuelo) - trying to recapture what she had lost, and How Eddie has spoken about trying to re-find the magic he had with Shannon - how Eddie hasn't actually fully reconciled the Shannon of it all when it comes to relationships and how his Catholic guilt connects into that.
How Marisol as a physical representation of Catholicism is part of that narrative - how Eddie is entering a place where he has to chose his path - in order to move on from Shannon he needs to fully square the hole - catholic or non catholic. And how that needs to happen first - before he can begin his queer journey!
#this is so incoherant#I'm also thinking about how Marisol fits into this narrative and how this idea of being taken in or fooled by a person plays into what we#know of her - how she wasn't upfront with Eddie (not saying she had to be right from the off but before moving in!!!) - how she is kind of#representative of secrets - especially around faith and ones connection with faith because she is essentially a stand in for catholicism#which (sorry to all the catholics out there) peddles in magic and secrets in order to keep the mystery of faith alive and therefore keep#people believing. How Eddie's reckoning with himself and the ghost of Shannon ultimately means choosing either to follow the path of#catholicism or non catholicism#How Marisol is a tie to religion and therefore his reasons for not having successful relationships after her (or even with her) and how#Eddie letting go will ultimately mean letting go of Marisol - how he can never fully move forward while catholicism still lingers#how I don't' think we'll be seeing the queer aspect of this narrative this season - that dealing with this first part is key and only once#he has figured it out can he then be free to know himself - is true self better - and accept and move into his full self as a queer man#so yeah - catholic guilt arc 7b and 8a - as its really a two parter - finally dealing with the remnants of Shannon - and its connection wit#his faith and then when truly free of that exploring his queerness!#So yeah - Marisol will possibly be here until towards the end of the season because she is meant to be the trigger point for Eddie in#relation to Shannon - its why they made the difference (and similarities) between S and M very obvious in 7x01#they have the time to build this story arc more fully now with the s8 renewal - to do it justice and unfortunately as part of that it means#she'll probably be around longer than any of us would like!#I don't know if I even make sense at this point#but I do want to reitterate that the show is goig out of its way to contrast her with Buck as well#to really show how close and right for each other Buck and Eddie are so no one needs to panic - she's here for the narrative not forever!#911 abc#911 spoilers#eddie diaz
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mswyrr · 10 months
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more on michelin stars
I genuinely think it's going to be an important plot point in s3 re: why exactly Sydney wants a star and why *one* specifically. I went and researched and discovered something I used in my fic, which is that one Michelin star restaurants are excellent cuisine that normal people can still afford. And that connected, for me, to what Sydney had told Marcus about how going out was so special when she was a kid and she wanted to share that kind of amazing thing with people:
We didn't really like eat out a lot growing up, so when we did, it felt special even if it wasn't.... I wanna cook for people and make them happy and give them the best bacon on Earth (1x08)
I'm so hopeful/convinced that the research they have with, like, Matty (the chef who plays Fak) right there on set, means the writers know that about what one star places can be like. And that it's meant to be part of this - more humane vision of excellence for Sydney, where their spot is AMAZING, but it's not a cruel kitchen culture, it's not only for the rich.
For her, it’s *part* of her vision, where she says: 
“I think this place could be so different from all the other places we've been at. But, in order for that to be true, we need to run things different.“ (1x03)
But Carmy sees a star and all it means (all he’s ever known it to mean) as a repudiation of that kind of humanity. You say the word "star" and immediately Carmy goes "fuck stars" (2x01) as pure self-defense - because stars are just pain and suffering to him. They're NYC chef and everything that mess became.
He's so traumatized by the whole thing he doesn't think to ask the right questions: why do you want one? What is your vision for it? Why do you specifically want *one* instead of two or three? What timeline do you have in mind for getting there and how can we strategize on this together?
Instead, because he wants so desperately to please her, despite that instinctive, self-defensive "fuck stars" he relents and asks - okay, are you sure? Are you positive this is what you want? Really?? It's terrible. It's just dread and fear and throwing up every day before work. You really want me to give you this?
(I’ll give you anything you want)
He never asks the right questions. Just assuming the level of pain which is his only experience of this is what the thing IS--playing into that theme about how people only know what they're taught, only know what they are given, and if we are given pain and patterns of it it is so hard to even imagine things can be different and, when you can imagine it, still so hard to actually get there.
(It’s not a coincidence that the ASL sign is one of the few positive, healthy examples of kitchen culture Carmy witnessed - we only know what we’re taught, and it can be hard work to even figure out what “not shitty” IS let alone doing it)
So he's assuming all of that and it's like - if she's his CDC, does she want him to push her as hard as he was pushed? Push himself that hard again? He doesn't want to do either of those things. But that's all he knows. And she keeps saying this is what she wants. And he wants to give her everything she wants.
(In the same conversation she kept saying yes, this is what I want, she expressed admiration for the designer chef outfit he later buys her as a gift - he wants to give her everything she wants, even when it seems like a terrible idea he’s torn about)
I think this misunderstanding is intentional and it’s going to come out in S3. A one star restaurant fits so perfectly with what we know of Sydney’s goals and love for her work! And Carmy not able to even conceive of something better because of the patterns he’s stuck in and finding his way to her vision makes sense for him.
I think Carmy figuring out how this work can be joyful and humane is going to be a huge part of S3. Sydney not becoming lost in the high stress environment, not following in younger!Carmy's footsteps living a life of pure drive and dread, and Carmy finding that for the first time.
I do think that, given where they both end in 2x10, there’s going to be a period of conflict and a real bunch of issues for both of them - but with themes and ideas like this seeded into the story there’s so many ways to make s3 start out in a bad way and then really end in joy in a beautiful way?
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bidisastersanji · 6 months
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i had thoughts of a canon-adjacent Zoro (nonbeliever ambitious swordsman) and Death-God!Sanji who keep meeting because of how close to dying Zoro always gets during his fights and oops now it's a messy drabble written in between breaks at work and here ya go.
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In all his years as the god of Death, Sanji has never seen such a stubborn, strong willed human- he’s honestly half amused every time he's brought to a wounded, bleeding Zoro. He doesn't expect him to survive that giant slash attack from the warlord, nor the myriad of injuries he collects after that- and if he feels a bit of pride every time he escapes him Death, well, no one will know.
It takes him a while to realise that, in those fleeting moments, when he's loitering and waiting around as Zoro approaches the point of no return, Zoro can see him as well. Sanji's a bit mortified at first. All this time, he's just been voicing his thoughts out loud like he always does, who knows what the reckless man overheard! It's pure force of habit, since it’s not like there’s ever someone to hear to him- his family chose this domain for him on purpose after all; they took all the great, bright, good, worshiped domains of life, war, medicine...and left him this one to punish him, break him with eons of witnessing and bearing human grief in solitude.
It's barely morning and Zoro is dripping with blood, resolutely standing against all odds in a beautiful display of absolute devotion and conviction, and Sanji feels like maybe today will be the day he takes him- that this is the end for the stubborn swordsman. He comes closer than he ever has to the man, walks right up to him, readying himself for the weight of another soul's voyage, when Zoro's lidded eyes snap up and meet his own. His fiery gaze doesn’t go straight through him, but actually settles on him. Sees him.
It's unnerving. Sanji shivers at this feeling of being perceived.
Humans usually only see him once they fully passed on, when he’s guiding them, cold hands gripping onto him, begging, crying, frightened or even sometimes full of wrath and fighting to stay by their loved ones.
“It’s you again.” His voice is weak, raspy.
Sanji doesn’t answer.
“Why're you always here for my big battles?” A pause. “You like me or somethin'?”
Confusion. Shock. Embarrassment. “You think I stalk you and show up for you battles!?”
“Sure seems like it.”
Sanji scoffs.
He can’t believe this! He wants to chew the bastard out- who the hell does he think he is? but he bites down on his words, certain that these are the man's final moments. There's no way anyone could survive such wounds- it's a miracle he's even conscious or standing.
He doesn’t want to add insult to injury.
“I’m the god of Death, you idiot.”
Oops.
“I don’t believe in gods.”
The absurdity of that statement when literally in conversation with one doesn’t escape Sanji, but he's not really there to argue.
The green-haired man continues. “So, what, you’re into me or something? Just ask me out like a normal person.”
This cocky asshole...Sanji's heated reply is cut off by Zoro’s nakama arriving on the scene in a panic. Sanji trails after them, hovering, ready for the now unconscious body's heart to stop beating at any moment- but the moment doesn't come.
Under the attention of their talented doctor, Zoro escapes him once again.
Sanji's definitely not relieved.
It's out of curiosity that he stays around a little longer. He returns from time to time to check in on the mysterious man and his recovery, still a bit unbelieving that he managed to survive such grievous, traumatic injuries and intense blood loss. By all means he should've died the instant he made contact with the red, concentrated bubble of pain and stress that Kuma expelled from his captain's body.
His friends weep and berate him when he wakes. The ginger woman who found him screams at him to “stop flirting with death” and Sanji chuckles- she doesn’t know how technically accurate that statement is.
Later, Sanji guiltily looks forward to feeling that tug from Zoro once more, that pull on his power he feels when someone is nearing his domain. He's admittedly curious to learn more about him, this idiot swordsman who can see him, hear him, and yet isn’t at all scared of him. It's so rare for humans to accept him without a hint of fear.
He doesn’t let himself dwell on that tinge of nervousness at the back of his mind- what if the next time is the time he steals him away- from his friends, his dream, his captain? What if this time he doesn’t get back up?
But he does.
And when he lingers in the cold, empty room of Kuragaina castle where the bandaged swordsman is laid to rest, content to stare at his mossy head of hair, Sanji notices something weird. From his bedside seat, he can feel the ghost of body warmth.
He tentatively leans closer, his fingers reach out, expecting to go right through Zoro's arm. They recoil, as if burned by fire, when instead they meet soft flesh.
Huh.
Zoro's eyes blearily crack open, immediately finding his hovering form.
"You're... back."
And Sanji knows something changed, that day, on Thriller Bark. He's been on this earth for a long, long time, and he knows Zoro should be dead. Unequivocally so. And yet he isn't. Whether by the sheer strength of his willpower or his fervent defiance of the gods and the laws of this universe, Zoro is still...present. Alive enough to have warm, red blood flowing through his veins and air filling his lungs. Dead enough to perceive him, touch him, feel him.
__
War brews and Sanji has a lot of work on his hands. After the carnage, he wearily returns to Kuragaina, and Zoro, sullen, heavy with guilt, asks him if it's true. Asks him if the eye of this particular storm, the man known as Ace, is truly dead.
Death has long worn away at Sanji, a constant wave beating at the his endless empathy his father called a weakness, wearing him down with each soul he takes from this world. But he's never become numb to it. He openly, lovingly feels the sorrow with every loss, with each reaping, with every last breath rasped from trembling lips. He embraces it, cherishes it for all of its bittersweet taste.
So he tells Zoro of Marineford. Of the epic battle that occurred there between Whitebeard and the marines. With each somber word he feels just a little lighter- an unfamiliar, happy feeling blooming in his chest at getting to talk to someone after what feels like a forever of solitude.
Time passes, and Sanji visits him more and more, grateful for the rare company. It'd been so long since he last was able to have a decent conversation with someone. Joke around. Banter. Flirt? They grow closer, never really voicing the...whatever it is that passes between them. Zoro eventually returns to his crew, and Sanji avoids approaching him unless he's alone. Wouldn't want people to think he's seeing things.
--
It becomes a dance. A well oiled machine. Zoro cutting down the enemies before him, Sanji right behind him and guiding his fallen foes into the afterlife. Cut after cut, his blades sing in the air, accompanied by the groans and cries of the people Sanji welcomes into his waiting arms.
After a big battle Zoro is laying in the rubble, chest heaving from the effort. Sanji sits with him, solemn. Accepting. Enjoying his company, the only company he can keep.
Zoro still hasn't admitted that gods are real, even when he sees Sanji trail after the path his bloodied swords carve out, hard at work. Even when he sees Sanji's dark, draped silhouette raise into the skies, untethered - that’s just skywalk, he says.
--
Sanji grows fearful. Shaken by the feelings, the attachment he feels for the swordsman, like a tether to this world. It makes him feel more alive than he ever has, yes. But nothing good can ever come of it, and he knows the universe isn't kind enough to give him such happiness without the promise of a subsequent fall, a return to reality soured and made worse by what came before it.
It's a dark, rainy day when Zoro corners him on the Sunny. Sanji hasn't visited him in a couple of days- not much death without opponents around.
They're at the back of the ship, obscured by the mikan trees, and Zoro's hands are bracing him against the wall, locking him in. Sanji knows he could go through the wall, but Zoro's eye has him pinned, frozen where he stands. His arms lay lifelessly by his sides.
The swordsman leans in, cups his chin, and Sanji doesn't think- his eyes flutter shut, he's open and wanting as warm, chapped lips press delicately against his. They don't need words. They know. Can feel it with every tender touch as their bodies work together to deepen the kiss. Sanji loops an arm around Zoro's neck, hand digging into his hair, while the other bunches up the fabric of his kimono to bring him ever closer. He's pressed so tightly against him that he can almost pretend the beating feeling near his chest is his own heart, can almost feel the rushing sound in his ears, the warmth seeping into his skin, up his chest, his neck, cheeks, ears.
Zoro breaks apart for air, and Sanji hears himself mirroring his pants, so enamoured with the swordsman he feels like his breath was stolen away.
"Curls." Zoro's looking at him odd, nearly awestruck, eyes flitting across his face, his body, his hands reach out to take his hands in his, lightly massaging his flesh.
A stern feminine voice rings behind them, snapping their heads to attention.
"Zoro, who the hell is this man you're kissing behind my mikan trees?!"
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aroacehanzawa · 21 days
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whats ur beef?
My favourite manga lost the plot so now i cope by being a hater 👍
#long answer is i have beef with the direction that the bsd manga has taken#it only superficially resembles the beloved mystery and character-driven detective agency story with atsushi as the main character#i'm dissatisfied with major developments like killing off fyodor and reviving him and pulling this#PSYCH his ability wasn't what you thought it was. with zero foreshadowing or buildup#because the manga has become full of marvel-movie type plot twists that serve little to no coherent narrative purpose except shock factor#it cheapens the story and it cheapens the development of characters and it cheapens the reader's experience#because we can't speculate and we can't draw connections and parallels and engage with the story on a deeper level#what connections there exist (for example between manga and anime) are shoehorned in after the popularity of the anime and#specific characters (e.g. fyodor who was shoehorned into untold origins in the anime) and mostly the characters who bring in money#i.e. fyodor and dazai and chuuya and their relationships especially soukoku. all this at the expense of characters like atsushi or#the majority of the female cast. who have been MIA for god knows how long and who were barely given frame each in the anime's finale#bsd treatment of its female characters has been subpar shounen level at best and now they're completely sidelined#as with most of the original cast and the original themes of the story. in fact i struggle to identify a coherent overarching theme#for the current arc. other than military action scifi movie go brrrr#compared to early arcs where each chapter had a meaningful message to say about the importance of living and what it means to stay alive and#keep going and why we are fighting to keep important people in our lives and to keep ourselves alive#and what it means to belong somewhere and what it means to be good or bad and how your place of belonging affects that#as a long term reader i just feel betrayed and disappointed. by how a story with complex and vibrant characters has become another#generic cashgrab shounen. and i mourn for the lost potential it had and everything the series has build up#only to have plot points abandoned at a whim.#so that's why i'm a hater now 👍#i know a lot of my bsd mutuals are still big fans of bsd so i try not to be obnoxious about it and mainly keep it comedic#like i don't actually hate the manga. because it's so important to me. and i respect the creators of the manga and anime#but it's frustrating to watch a train wreck in real time. and it's my blog i can hate what i want 😔#sorry if there are typos i wrote all this on mobile and can't edit the tags. i didn't wanna put any of this in the main post
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jakes3resin · 1 month
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Here's why Hallucination Bucky haunting Buck is amazing (there are many reasons but here's a big one): Bucky doesn't even have to be dead.
Sure, Bucky being dead works perfectly in this kind of AU. The inability to save Bucky leaves Buck bereft and alone in the world, so he holds on to the memory of Bucky so tightly he starts to see him again.
But!
The ambiguity of is Bucky dead or not is better. The reader doesn't know for sure, and Buck doesn't know. Hell the fic writer doesn't even need to know for sure. Leave that ending open y'all!
Buck having to go through his day swearing that Bucky is alive. He's fine. Bucky has to be fine. Him being fine is the only reason Buck can power through his day. He won't accept anything else until someone brings him Bucky's body.
And that can do a lot to a man's psyche.
Imagine it. Buck standing around Thorpe Abbotts after reassuring Harry and Rosie that Bucky is fine, he's simply back with the men taking care of them. Then he hears it. Bucky's laugh. He whirls around desperate and near joyous because of course Bucky made it out, of course he's laughing and about to yell at Buck to get his attention. Except what he finds isn't the John "Bucky" Egan that he left in Germany.
Instead, he turns around and sees the John he sent to London. Standing straight backed with cheeks that haven't gone through a diet of turnips and 'rabbit' soup, still wearing that awful sheepskin that Buck knows he traded away (Jack had given it back to him the moment he saw Buck) is His Bucky.
Arm raised to wave at Buck, Bucky grins. His smile is as bright as the sun, another spark of life Buck hasn't seen in months. Maybe years.
Bucky looks so young. Which he can't be because Bucky is older than him, but staring at this Bucky that no one else seems to realize is there that's what crosses Buck's mind. Bucky looks young. He looks happy and untouched by the hell they just went through together.
"Hey Buck!" Bucky's by his side without walking to him. "How was your flight? Ya miss me?"
And he falls into step once more with Buck chattering into his ear. Buck knows he isn't real, knows that Bucky isn't here, but he can't help but accept what little he has left of the other when he has no idea when or if he'll ever see Bucky again.
Because without a body, he has to live as if Bucky is still alive.
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desultory-novice · 3 months
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I think it'd be kinda interesting if Marx, after becoming part God-Clock, is unable to rest. After all, if a part of the Nova lives on in him, it'd surely be running to try do repairs or archive data, and this would mean Marx has developed long term insomnia. The reason this is bad is due to Marx being a Noddy, a group known entirely for sleeping. Imagine trying to get immense power, having a battle you lose in a way you can never truly understand, then lose the activity you love most as a part of you isn't really You anymore.
No wonder Marx went crazy.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH (/POS)
>DESS.EXE HAS STOPPED FUNCTIONING
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