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#hey this (cooper) is that guy a mutual of mine was in love with
bxtchforstyles · 3 years
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Kissing in the rain
(part of the all about love series)
The journey of making a documentary starring famous singer, Harry Styles, while also learning a little bit about his secret girlfriend, Evangelina Cooper.
Warning: none
Word count: ~1.3k
gif not mine.
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EVANGELINA'S POV
When Harry had originally told me that he wanted to start filming a documentary for his next album, we were still only friends.
We had met almost directly before he had started his first leg of tour, making it so that the only time I ever saw him was if he was performing in London, or if I flew wherever he was. He even invited me to his show in London, so that we could see each other right after, before he had to leave for Paris the next morning.
He was always a very good guy, which is what first attracted me to him when we met through mutual friends.
FLASHBACK:
"Eva, you're going to love him." My best friend, Summer, gushed as we made our way inside the small restaurant.
"How do you even know this guy?" I smoothed the wrinkles out of my dress as I sat down. "Isn't he, like, famous or something?"
"My older sister used to be best friends with Sarah, one of the members of his band. She was like another sister to me, so we decided to meet up while she was in London."
I furrowed my eyebrows, "So, why am I here?"
"Because, I mentioned that I have a friend, who is very lonely." I went to interject but she held her hand up and stopped me, "And then, she mentioned that she also has a lonely friend, so we made the life altering decision to have both of you come with us."
"So you are basically setting me up on a date with your long lost friend's famous bandmate?" I tried to make some sense of the situation, but the blonde girl only shrugged.
"Basically."
Before I could even respond again, Summer's face lit up in a smile. I was sitting on the opposite side of the table from her, so I couldn't see what she was smiling at, but when she started waving to whatever was behind me, I finally turned around to see what she was seeing.
When I turned around, the first thing I saw was a woman, probably around the age of thirty, smiling and waving back at Summer.
That must be Sarah. I made a mental note to myself.
But the next thing I saw when Sarah moved to the side in order to greet Summer, was something that I definitely was not expecting.
Behind the Brunette lady, was a man who looked quite prim and proper. He was wearing black trousers as well as a black button up shirt. His eyes met mine catching me slightly off guard, they were a striking green color, looking almost sultry.
He reached his hand out to mine, probably trying to make things less awkward as the girls behind us continued to talk without us. "Harry,"
His grip was firm as I grasped his hand gently, before speaking, "Evang-"
"Evangelina, correct?" He questioned at the same time. I bite the inside of my lip, smiling lightly while nodding. "Please, have a seat."
I smiled again, silently thanking him as he sat in the seat next to me.
END OF FLASHBACK
And Summer was right.
over the course of that dinner I grew quite fond of Harry, and I would like to think that he grew quite fond of me as well.
Harry had been different from every other guy that had ever met since the moment I met him. He wasn't arrogant, or cocky; he was charming, and polite.
We had hung out as much as we could before he had to leave London to start his tour. It was saddening when he left, but I think the fact that we barely ever saw each other only made our relationship strong, even though we weren't dating.
"Hey Harry?" I called from where I stood in the bathroom that connected to his bedroom. The door was open as I brushed my teeth, so I could see when he entered the bedroom.
"Yeah, babe?" He smiled when he saw me. He was standing in the doorway, looking tired and disheveled.
I giggled as I examined the way his hair stood in all different directions, "What'd you do? Fall asleep in your office?"
He just laughed, running his hands over his eyes. "It probably wasn't the greatest idea to put a couch in there, was it?"
I spit the final bit of toothpaste that was in my mouth into the sink, looking back over to see my boyfriends sprawled out over the bed that was set in the center of the room.
"It's comfy isn't it?" I asked in amusement, also laying down on top of the bed.
He just mumbles a simple response, rolling over so that he's right next to me, his head in the crook of my neck. "You're so pretty." He whispers, making me grin.
"Thank you, handsome."
"We should watch a movie or something." He suggests, reaching over my lap to attempt to grab the remote off of the nightstand.
I watched him struggle to grasp the small black remote for a moment before saying, "Sure" and reaching easily behind me to grab the object he had been reaching for. "What do you want to watch?"
The only thing he returned with though, was a toothy smile. I knew exactly what movie he wanted me to play.
After a while of watching one of Harry's favorite movies, the notebook, we had gotten to one of the most famous kiss scenes.
"God, I would die to do that." I sigh, laying my head on Harry's shoulder as his back rested against the headboard.
"What? Be a part of one of the most romantic and cinematic movies of all time?"
I smacked his shoulder, making him chuckle to himself. "No!"
He looked at me with faux sympathy, "Then what, darling?"
I pointed my hand towards the t.v, making a 'duh' face. "Kiss in the rain!"
"Well I'm sorry love, but it's not raining currently." He sat up from the bed, opened the curtains to the door that led to the balcony off of Harry's room. "See?"
"Yes, I see that Harry." I stuck my tongue out at him childishly, making him widen his eyes playfully.
All the sudden, I feel two arms around either of my shoulders, tackling me into the soft comforter of the bed.
We both started laughing hysterically at this, both eventually just having to lay on our backs trying to catch out breath.
"I promise I'll kiss you in the rain one of these days, babe."
I tap my chin and pretend to think about it, "I mean, you weren't exactly who I had in mind." I tease before shrugging, "but I guess you'll do."
"Hey!" His jaw dropped in shock, "Don't be mean!"
He pulled me back down on top of him, planting his lips smoothly on mine. "Let's watch the movie, yeah?" The brown haired boy looked back at me.
I looked up at the screen, the credits were rolling.
"Well, it looks like there's no more movie to watch."
And yet, even though there wasn't a movie playing, I was okay with that. I felt the most content I ever had.
And it was all because of him.
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spinnenpfote6 · 3 years
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Hey guys, I just wanted to ask if there are some of my mutuals who suffer from a phobia of germs and dirt as well.
I definitely have one though it hasn’t been properly diagnosed yet. I mean, I have developed weird cleaning rituals, thought processes and I’ve been in multiple fights with my parents because I keep using up our medical disinfectants which I know are necessary - but I can’t stop. I don’t want my mom to hug or kiss or even touch me anymore, solely for the reason that I think of every person as “unclean”, wash my hands a million times a day until they bleed and keep wiping everything clean with disinfectant-soaked baby wipes. Nobody is allowed to touch my belongings or bed or even me without my permission and everything that hasn’t been washed or disinfected is “contaminated”. I love my plushies and big action figures but I keep them in my closet in fear of getting them “dirty” so they don’t really bring me joy anymore. I don’t touch doorknobs or lightswitches without a small piece of napkin anymore. And finally, the most ridiculous thing of all: I can’t even slightly bump against a doorframe without feeling the urge to clean my shoulder afterwards. And this is just the tip of the iceberg.
I’m literally like that overly clean person comedies make fun of. I know I must sound like an absolute nutcase to you while you’re reading this and reading this myself - I can’t blame you. If I saw a person acting like me on TV, I’d laugh about them.
This whole problem started about 6 years ago and built up veeeery slowly. I can’t quite remember but I think it started out with me thinking about wanting stuff to be “cleaner” and only putting on freshly washed clothes. We were always a tiny bit “cleaner” of a family because of my illness, but only to a rather insignificant amount. To be honest, I can’t even for the love of me connect my old mindset to my new mindset. Why wasn’t I grossed out by this stuff back then? How was my thought process different? But honestly, it literally feels like someone pulled a switch in my brain between for and after I was about 14 years old. So I can’t put my finger on what went wrong in my head during that time. Now I’m just so insanely grossed out by so much stuff that I feel like I’m going insane if I don’t “clean” them. No one understands my “confusing procedures”, as my mother put it, but they seem perfectly calculated and reasonable to me. In contrast to other germaphobes though, I never have the urge to clean myself too long to get rid of all the germs, like washing hands for 10 minutes or something. I just need a short wash and everything is fine, but I need it.
Now, with these mental problems I have noticed certain rocky relationship days with my parents (they are surprisingly understanding but also think that it’s unhealthy behaviour and that I’m overreacting and just stop - you must know that we are very close) and that I frequently have extremly depressive episodes for a few hours which keep coming back very quickly almost every day. It’s all definitely causing me quite a lot of distress sometimes: I think of preparing “cleaning routines” quite a lot over the day. There was one day - well over a year ago - where we were running out of disinfectant where I was literally awake for hours at night, heart racing, shaking and crying while trying to think of a way to get new bottles without my parents noticing.
The worst thing is that due to everything seeming “contaminated” I don’t have such a good relationship with my pets as I wish I had. I don’t want my cats - Waylon and Ygor - to touch me at all. There was one time where I almost kicked Waylon away in a sudden fit of disgust and anger because he touched my leg. What’s even worse are those extremely aggressive thoughts I sometimes have against my pets when stuff like this happens. I literally thought about grabbing my cat and kicking harshly him or choking him or breaking his neck or something like that - just for a second. And honestly, I was horrified and ashamed by having these thoughts. It’s not the first time either, I know I have the same kind of bad thoughts after a failure of mine with mostly a fight attached and realizing this genuinely made me believe that my mental illness is turning me into a monster, despite having never laid a finger on one of my pets. I don’t think I’ve ever properly talked about this with anyone except maybe my mother but I was too ashamed of telling her the whole thing. After having done some research I now know that apparantly, my mind is using violent fantasies to cope because it doesn’t know how to handle distress and intense negative feelings overall.
Now, of course I want to get this problem treated as soon as possible. I’ve tried in the past (i.e. last year) but my therapist was - despite being nice - still very young and seemingly unprepared/unsure/insecure and paired by the fact that I didn’t want to have a group appointment discussing my feelings and behaviour with my parents immidiately, she basically told me that she couldn’t treat me because I “didn’t cooperate” and “didn’t suffer enough” from this germaphobia. Oh well. She didn’t say it in a mean way, but I was a quite disappointed for sure. Then the pandemic started and I had to stop therapy all together anyway. Since my chronic illness is causing the virus to be extremely dangerous to me, I haven’t been able to start a therapy yet, but I’ve been searching for good therapists and reading about my symptoms, hoping that the pandemic will eventually come to an end and I’ll get a good vaccine soon. I’ve tried to stop or tone my behaviour down a few times over the years but I always end up falling back after a while, despite it somehow working. To be honest, I’m very scared of a full therapy but I know that without therapy, this phobia will keep dragging me down. Even if my family thinks that it’s “not so bad” and “just a phase”.
Stuff like this is also why I hearing rumors that Adam Driver might have anxiety comforted me in a weird way. Of course I want him to be well, but thinking that this guy whom I love for his performance as Kylo Ren, a famous Hollywood actor, is a normal dude who might have seemingly “dumb” symptoms of mental health issues as well which are making his life more difficult - just like mine - is kinda comforting. Like I’m not alone with this. You know what I mean?
I’m sharing this story because I wanna know if there are people with similar feelings and/or experiences to connect with them and to spread some awareness. Maybe some of you know coping mechanisms or first steps for a sort of self-therapy? If I’m able to help just one other person with sharing this, that they are not alone or that others have weird mental health problems too, it would already be awesome enough.
Thanks for taking the time to read about my experiences!
I love y’all!
Shiny over and out
(Btw sorry for mistakes - I’m German and it’s already 3 a.m. and writing this made me cry at times since this is a very difficult topic for me. But I had to get this off my chest so badly)
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Life As We Know It 
Clarke and Bellamy have nothing in common except mutual hatred for each other and a shared love of their Goddaughter Madi. When the loss of their best friends forces them to move in together and raise Madi as their own, they'll have to come to terms with their relationship and the fallout of Lincoln and Octavia's death.
It may just take a few exploded diapers, pounds of applesauce and 5000 re-watches of Little Orphan Annie for them to figure out they don't hate each other so much after all.
Based loosely off the romantic comedy of the same name
Completed! 
*Ch. 1 posted below + AO3 Link* 
Prologue 
February 2nd, 2019
“What you want to do is capture the essence of his expression. It’s all in the eyes!” Clarke instructed, gesturing to the model in the middle of the room. She took in her favorite view, Friday afternoon charcoal sketch class. The class was aimed at high schoolers, most of whom had dreams of going to art school. They were an enthusiastic bunch, she loved affirming their talent and watching them follow their dreams.
Lost in her musings of high school talent, Clarke didn’t notice Harper standing in the doorway. She took a step into the room and held up Clarke’s phone. Clarke usually didn’t keep it on her while she taught but Harper looked panicked as she pointed to it wildly.
“You guys are doing great! I just have to check up on something real quick” Clarke assured as she took off her smock and followed Harper into the hallway.
“Sorry I normally wouldn’t interrupt you but your phone has been going off like crazy, it’s an unknown number.”
Clarke nodded and quickly took the phone from Harper, just as the phone began ringing again. Confused, Clarke answered and a tinny voice replied, “Arkadia Memorial Hospital, is this Clarke Griffin?”
A pit of dread immediately formed in Clarke’s stomach as she made her way to her office. Her hands were shaking now as her mind ran through all the possibilities of why they could be calling her. The operator paused and redirected her to another line. The dread continued to grow for Clarke until the phone reconnected and she confirmed her identity to a doctor. 
“You are listed as one of the emergency contacts for Lincoln and Octavia Blake, I’m sorry to inform you that there’s been an accident. Is it possible for you to come to the hospital?” A nasal voice asked.
At the word accident, Clarke’s mind whited out and her ears began ringing. Moving on autopilot she grabbed her keys and ran out of the school, forgetting her class entirely.
 She had met Lincoln on her first week of art school. As the two oldest people in their freshman lecture, they became fast friends. Neither of them had any family to speak of, so they kind of formed one together. They supported each other during their starving artist years, their first ugly pieces and celebrated their small victories in a cramped apartment that Clarke’s dad had left her in his will. Clarke had never had siblings, but Lincoln was the closest thing to a brother she had ever known.
He was gruff but kind and the best sculptor she had ever met. His sculpting is what had brought Octavia into their lives. Back when they were fresh out of school and doing shitty gallery shows in the bad part of town, a girl with long brown hair who wore funky sweaters would come to every exhibition to stare intently at Lincoln’s art. She came every week without fail, to every gallery that Lincoln’s sculptures were shown at. Lincoln used to watch her from afar and light up whenever he saw her looking at his work. Eventually, the week before Lincoln’s sculptures hit it big, Clarke convinced him to go and talk to her. The rest is history.
Clarke had never seen two people who complimented one another as well as Lincoln and Octavia, they were truly soulmates. Octavia with her bright smile and long limbs quickly became a staple in their lives. Much like Lincoln, she was a little rough around the edges but she loved fiercely with her whole heart. She never really questioned Clarke, just accepted her as Lincoln’s sister and loved her as such. It seemed logical of course when their daughter Madi was born that Clarke would be her Godmother. 
She reached Arkadia Memorial in record time and ran as fast as she could to the emergency department. When she reached the waiting room she skid to a halt, in front of her was none other than Octavia’s brother Bellamy Blake folded over in a chair wearing a worn Arkadia Fire Department sweatshirt and sporting red rimmed eyes.
    April 11, 2015
“Maybe I should just cancel…” Clarke held the phone between her shoulder and ear as she washed her paintbrushes in the sink.
 “You’ve been single for 3 years and  he just moved here, it's the perfect time for you both to start over.”
“I’m going to give you a code word…if I text you a fireball emoji he’s trying to murder me and you need to come save me,” she said seriously, drying the brushes and carefully placing them back into a chipped mug. 
She readjusted the phone and grabbed a rag to wipe down the paint splattered tables.
“You won’t need a code word...you’re being ridiculous, I've met Bellamy. He's exactly the opposite of that oily soft boy who must not be named, it'll be a nice change.” laughter cutting into Lincoln’s fake exasperation.
 “You can never be too careful…he might be  a psycho murderer.” Clark continued, "But you're right about Finn, he was a greaseball." 
 “Clarke. Bellamy’s a little rough around the edges but he’s great. Plus it'll be nice for you guys to get to know each other before the wedding." 
 “The maid of honor and the best man, tale as old as time."
 "True as it can be." Lincoln continued, the smile evident in his voice, "I think you guys are really well suited."  
 "I'll take your word on this but if he kills me I'll haunt you from beyond the grave.”
 “I’m hanging up. Try to be positive about this.”
Logically, Clarke knew that Lincoln was right and that she needed to start putting herself back out there. Her life had been pretty boring since her best friend had met the love of his life and moved out of their apartment. Her cat shockingly doesn’t make for a sparkling conversationalist.
Since Lincoln moved out and Finn had turned out to be a dick, she had thrown herself into work.
And she was now the proud owner of a small art studio and school. Initially, it had been difficult and sad but after a small feature from a popular art blogger, it seemed that she was finally getting her footing. The small studio had grown immensely in the past year and she was able to bring in her childhood friend Harper as a co-teacher.
Clarke finished wiping the tables and examined herself in the mirror by the door. She would need a shower before she met this tall dark and handsome mystery man. She looked like she had been hit with an acrylic paint tornado. 
On her drive home she listened to her favorite motivational podcast, hoping the affirmation would bring her some confidence for the rest of the night.
As time crawled closer to the date, her excitement grew. It had been a long time since she had gotten dressed up for someone else. After a lot of trial and error she finally decided on her favorite red bodycon, a nice pair of black heels and hoop earrings. She curled her hair into loose waves and perched on her couch to wait out her date.
An hour later, Clarke's optimism was quickly dying down. He was already late. Over an hour late. Fidgeting and checking the clock again, she shifted her dress down her legs and tapped her foot. She was starting to get annoyed, restless and hungry. She considered the Babybell cheeses in her fridge and wondered whether eating one would really matter in the long run. Right as she was about to head to the fridge, there was a loud revving outside and her phone pinged with a text from an unknown number,
 “Hey it’s Bellamy, I’m here.”
Rolling her eyes at the fact that he didn’t even bother to come to the door. Clarke gathered her purse, took a deep breath and headed out.
She was met by two things, a very hot man and a very large motorcycle. 
“I’m not really dressed for a that,” Clarke mumbled as she took in the sleek black bike and the messy haired man in ripped black jeans and frayed olive-green shirt. Dammit, Lincoln was right...he looked nothing like Finn. He was tall, dark, handsome and his arms were deliciously large. 
“Hold on tight, promise I won’t read too far into it if you cop a feel” he winked at her, arms flexing as he fished a helmet out of the seat
“I said I’m not really dressed for this, I don’t know if my leg will get over it," she replied, irritably crossing her arms over her chest. 
His eyes flitted down to her boobs before he snorted, “Don’t be scared babe I gotcha.”
“I can drive us," she insisted, moving her hands to her hips. 
“C'mon baby, live a little," he groaned, pulling the helmet off his head fully. 
“Either I drive, or I go back inside,” she tapped her foot. 
“We can just go back inside and get to it, if that’s what you really want Princess…” Bellamy winked and dismounted the motorcycle, turning to gesture toward the cars lined down the street.
“I’m not a princess,” Clarke argued while fishing through her purse for her keys.
“If the shoe fits,” Bellamy was about to smirk until Clarke clicked the lock on her car and the lights went up on the smallest car he had ever seen. “There’s no way I can’t fit in it that,” he mumbled gesturing at the mini cooper.
Bellamy looked between Clarke and the car in exasperation, “Like I said…I can drive or you can leave” she said with her hands on her hips. He sighed, looked at the car and then back at her before climbing in the passenger seat and slamming the door.
“Where do you want to go?” He asked, adjusting his messy hair in the rearview mirror. 
“Well where did you make a reservation?” Clarke arched an eyebrow, she could feel her temples beginning to throb.
“I figured we would just go with the flow,” he said irritably, adjusting the collar of his jacket. 
“I know a place, it’s owned by a friend of mine and Lincoln’s from art sch-“ right as Clarke was about to finish, Bellamy’s phone began to blare a cheesy Pitbull song.
“Why don’t you get that, I’ll just wait,” she rolled her eyes and looked pointedly at his phone. The song paused and then began ringing again. 
“No it’s okay give it a sec and it’ll go to voicemail”
“I insist go ahead”
With a pained expression on his face, Bellamy answered the phone, "Heyyyyyy what’s up?” he glanced at Clarke while making affirmative noises, “Yeah how about I stop by around 10-“ he looked at Clarke again, “actually make that 9:30”
“SERIOUSLY” she yelled as he hung up
“What?! It was a sick friend!” he answered defensively, throwing his hands in the air. 
"Right, a 'sick friend'," she mocked, rolling her eyes for what felt like the thousandth time. 
"Yes. They umm very ill and need assistance," 
"I would LOVE to know what illness can only be cured by your PENIS," she yelled, she could feel her face beginning to heat up. 
"Oh my god chill the fuck out!" he yelled back, turning his body fully to face her. 
“We don’t have to do this…I know it means a lot to Lincoln and Octavia but you don’t seem to care since you answered a booty call in front of me,”
“I can't believe Octavia said you were cool, suburbia has gotten to her. You’re literally the most uptight person I've ever met,” He smirked
“GET OUT OF MY SMART CAR” Clarke yelled, jumping out of the car and slammed the door behind her. Bellamy followed and hopped on his motorcycle without saying goodbye.
***
After a hot shower to wash away the terrible night, she put on her comfiest PJs and curled up onto the couch with a glass of wine. Sinking into the pillows, she grabbed her phone to call Lincoln. He answered on the first ring.
“I take it your date didn’t go well.” Lincoln sighed, the disappointment evident in his voice.
 “Linc…we didn’t leave my street.”  
 “Did you even give him a chance? Behind the motorcycle he really is a good dude,”
 “HE ANSWERED A BOOTY CALL IN FRONT OF ME!!"  
 “Ugh damn it...Octavia said he had changed. I swear I didn't know."  
“I’m sorry Linc, I know you wanted it to work out but it’s not really salvageable,” Clarke sighed, knowing how much it meant to Lincoln for her to get along with Octavia’s family. Especially since the wedding was coming up soon. 
 “You guys didn’t click. It’s fine. Are you going to be fine for the wedding?"
 “We can share breathing space for the wedding but I’d prefer to never speak to him directly ever again,”
 “Sorry about your night…can’t help but feel a little responsible”. 
“It’s not your fault Bellamy thinks his penis is the best thing since sliced bread. I love you bud. You meant well and that's what matters. I’ll talk to you tomorrow, there's a glass of wine with my name on it,” Clarke hung up the phone and sighed deeply. It stung to know that she had let Lincoln down even if Bellamy was a total asshat.
Clarke closed her eyes and savored her sip of wine, dating sucked and she would honestly prefer to just die alone in peace.
Her phone pinged and much to her surprise it was from Bellamy, “Look…I don’t like you (and you obviously don't like me) but I love Lincoln and my sister so I think we should just ignore each other from now on,” Unfortunately, he was right…they were basically family and she was going to have to see his stupid handsome face at all the time. “Deal”  Clarke replied.  
 February 2nd, 2019
Clarke approached Bellamy, his head was in his hands and he looked like he had been crying. He had balled up the sleeves of his sweatshirt and used them to wipe his eyes. 
"They won't tell me anything and I've been here for an hour," he murmured, his voice was ragged and cracked at the end of the sentence.  
"I'm sorry, I was teaching I didn't check my phone," she answered quietly, not really sure why she was apologizing. She couldn't bring herself to meet his gaze. 
"You didn't miss much, I think I scared off a few nurses," he admitted and something about his expression made Clarke want to reach out and touch his hair. She refrained, shoving her hand in her pocket instead. 
"The waiting is somehow the worst part," she mumbled, not quite meeting his gaze. 
Just as Bellamy was about to answer, a solemn faced doctor approached them both, “Clarke Griffin and Bellamy Blake?”
They both nodded, and Bellamy stood to stand behind Clarke, sure to maintain a healthy level of distance. She wrung her hands together and shifted from side to side. The doctor's expression was unreadable and it was making her stomach turn. Bellamy was nervously tapping his fingers against his leg and the sound of his skin hitting the denim was starting to grate on her. 
“Lincoln and Octavia were rear ended on the highway by an 18 wheeler. It was a very serious accident.” The doctor grimaced, gesturing for them both to take a seat. The pit in Bellamy's stomach grew as we took a seat on the bench next to Clarke. Their legs were squished together and she reached out, carefully placing her hand on his knee. His skin tingled, this was the first time Clarke had touched him non-violently in years and it felt strange but he placed his hand over hers. Whether he liked it or not, she was the only person who understood how he felt right now.  
"So when can we see them?" Clarke asked, voice shaking.  
The doctor, set his clipboard down on the bench beside him and leaned forward. "Their injuries were very severe, they were both in surgery for several hours and had the best possible care. We truly did the best that we could. But unfortunately, with accidents like this, it's a lot of pain and stress on the body. In the case of Lincoln and Octavia, their bodies just couldn’t handle the damage. I’m so sorry to have to tell you this, but we lost them." 
Clarke crumpled, chest heaving and ears ringing. Bellamy wrapped an arm around her uncertainly, he felt like he was frozen. It didn't feel real. It wasn't possible. Bile rose in his throat and a wave of nausea washed over him. Octavia was dead. 
“Their daughter…they have a daughter, she’s one. Is she okay?” Clarke said suddenly, whipping out of Bellamy's grip. Tears filled his eyes as panic set in, he hadn't considered that Madi could have been in the car with them. 
It was only then that they noticed a police officer standing to the right of the doctor. He was equally solemn faced and took a seat beside the doctor. 
The police officer spoke quietly, “Madi is fine. She was in the care of a minor at the time of the accident and has been released to DCFS. We will look into you both being able to see her tomorrow.”
Bellamy let out a sigh of relief as a complex set of emotions washed over him. Grief for his young, vibrant sister and her strong, caring husband, relief that Madi was alive and overwhelming sadness for the parents that she would never know. Shocked that somehow he was the last Blake standing. He placed his hand over Clarke’s on his shoulder, he might not like her but she’s all he had in this mess.
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kariachi · 5 years
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Some nice, chill polyam fic, because fuck it have most of my top Ben 10 ships in one big family.
~~
“Should we really be having this discussion when Rad’s not here?” The living room went quiet, everyone taking a moment to look amongst themselves, a silent bid for agreement. Argit was the one to break the silence, burying his fingers in Ken’s hair nonchalantly.
“Given he’s home three months out of the year at most? Yes.” Ken rolled his eyes and sat up for a brief moment before deciding, fuck it, he was comfy, and setting his head back in Manny’s lap. The floor wasn’t the softest thing to sit on, but there wasn’t room left on the couch, he didn’t want to sit alone, and Ossy shit or no curling up with Alan and Cooper would always be awkward for him.
“I just think, this is the sort’ve discussion we should have the entire family for.”
“He’s got a point,” Alan added, curled up in Cooper’s lap in one of the armchairs, “it doesn’t seem right.”
“Right my ass,” Argit shot back, “he doesn’t hang around long enough for discussions.” Ken patted Argit’s leg while Kevin fiddled with one of his ears soothingly. Yeah Rad sometimes shared Kevin with them (really everyone shared Kevin- except for Alan, obviously, given the whole uncle & nephew thing) but he came home for Argit and their mutual partner sometimes got aggravated at just how much time he spent off on jobs. As it was, he shook the two of them off and jabbed a finger at Cooper. “How long are you willing to wait for kids?”
Cooper went quiet and looked at Manny, who did the same. Both had the same contemplative look on their faces. For about twelve seconds.
“The rat has a point.”
“He really does.” Scowling, Alan elbowed Cooper.
“We are not planning children without the entire nesting here, damnit!”
“Oh come on, we didn’t even see him last time he was home! He walked in, locked himself away with Argit for a few hours, and then left again!”
“Still!” A put-upon groan came from Manny’s other side and Mike patted Ken’s shoulder as he stood up.
“Take my seat,” he said. “You already know where I stand on kids, and I’m not even getting involved in this argument- he’s no man of mine- so I’m gonna go grab a snack.” Kevin perked up.
“Grab me a beer?”
“And me?”
“Soda’d be nice…” Ken and Alan bit back laughter as the others turned to Mike expectantly, even as he crossed his arms and glowered at them.
“Do I look like a waiter?”
“Yes.”
“Shut up. Should I be taking notes on your orders?” Even Ken threw the puppy-eyes at him, and he was very good at the puppy-eyes. Mike sighed. “What do you want?”
“Just the beer.”
“And some sodas.”
“Maybe a bag of chips?”
“Ooo, and that bag of jerky I have above the fridge, if you could, doll?”
“And pizza!”
“Michael Jeremy Morningstar if you order him pizza I will hurt you.”
Cooper rolled his eyes so hard at that his whole head moved and threw Mike a grin.
“There’s a frozen one in the second chest freezer downstairs.” Also rolling his eyes, Mike nodded and left the room as Kevin gaped like a man stabbed by his own kin.
“You brought a frozen pizza into my house-”
“Oh chill, Kev,” Alan said, “they need something to eat when we aren’t around.”
“If they really loved us, they’d starve.” Trying not to smile, Manny threw an arm around Kevin’s shoulders, Argit abandoning him to settle in on Ken’s lap instead. “Disloyal blasphemers, the lot of you.”
“Yeah yeah, we’re the worst family you could’ve ever had, at least we’re not Tennysons.”
“Hey!” Ken glowered up at Manny, Argit’s hand going back into his hair.
“You don’t count, Sisriih, you abandoned them to join the Levin-Jones family, remember?”
“It’s the principle of the thing.” He shook his head. “Anyway, that’s another reason to have Rad here, none of you can tell me you don’t want the name ‘Dudesman’ on our kids and we can’t do that without involving him in more than making them.” An indecisive murmur went up, spreading across the room, though Manny just shrugged.
“Mike and I have already discussed it,” he said, “at least one daughter is going to be ‘Manuela Micheline Morningstar’ or so help us.” Again, the room went quiet.
Then Alan nearly fell off Cooper’s lap from laughing too hard. His husband just heaved a sigh and stared at the ceiling, muttering something Ken couldn’t hear under his breath. Meanwhile he and Argit shook their heads, Ken himself fighting back a smile as he did. Kevin, Kevin just stared at his laughing Manny with such a painfully unimpressed, disbelieving look that nobody was really surprised when he slipped out of his grip and headed for the other end of the couch.
“Move over, you two,” he said, forcing himself between them and the arm of the couch, making the whole lot shuffle down as he did, “only decent men I have left.” Argit grinned back at him.
“Well you had to have at least one.”
“It’s just a shame,” Cooper added in, “that we have to lose like a third of our family. If you don’t mind, Kev, since I’m about to be painfully available...” Alan took no notice of this, too busy still laughing with Manny and also too experienced to think Cooper’d drop him over anything less than the heat death of the universe, while Kevin reached out for the blond sympathetically.
“We’re here for you, Coop.”
“You won’t go through this trial alone,” Argit added.
“Thank guys,” Cooper said, pressing a hand to his heart melodramatically- really they all spent too much time with Mike- “it’s nice to know somebody is good and just in this household.” Ken snorted.
“Let���s not go too far. Think Alan and I are the only ones in this house without a record.” Cooper opened his mouth only for Alan to clamp his hand over it.
“Or deserve it.” He snatched his hand back to reveal Cooper’s tongue out and ready, though he still looked fond when he turned to Ken. “Are we sure we even want kids with these guys?” Ken heaved a heavy, put-upon sign, shaking his head even as he wrapped an arm around Argit’s waist.
“That’s the worst part, Al,” he said, “I’m pretty sure we do.”
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fusion-ego · 4 years
Text
So... 2019, huh?
((LONG post ahead!))
This year has really been something, hasn’t it? I had to quit my second job ever because of my back problems (along with other shit lol), I hardly wrote anything all year, and I started in on my Bachelor’s degree. I moved 1600 miles cross-country to Arizona and I’ve been down here for six months now! I had to leave my Markiplier Nudes Calendar™ back in Illinois because I forgot to take it off my wall before I left and it probably got thrown away by the landlord :c, I let my parents borrow a credit card for the move down here and went into debt as a result of almost single-handedly financing the move, had several breakdowns, and despite my best attempts I haven’t been able to get a job yet, but I’m still trying!
A lot of things happened this year.
I turned 20.
I started liking myself again after years of literally hating myself and that quickly advanced to me loving myself again. Turns out I’m pretty cool, even if I am annoying as fuck.
Turns out that having primarily depressive episodes and not having the motivation or desire to take care of myself doesn’t make me any less of a person. It doesn’t make my struggles invalid just because I’m the one not taking care of myself. It turns out, taking care of yourself is fucking hard sometimes, especially if the combined symptoms of your mental and physical ailments put you in a position where everything feels like too much.
It also turns out that taking care of yourself is difficult when you’ve spent your entire life (or at least the parts where you actually had friends) putting all of the wants and needs of your friends and loved ones above your own.
Taking care of yourself is hard when you were raised to be The Strong One, who doesn’t break down and who doesn’t have any issues, thanks. The one who, sure, they haven’t showered in a week and they feel like crap because they haven’t eaten, but you don’t need to know that! You just go eat and take a shower, hun, The Strong One is okay.
It took until this year for me to learn that being The Strong One didn’t mean I couldn’t break down sometimes. It didn’t mean I couldn’t take time for myself and that I had to be available all the time for my friends. Setting boundaries has been a learning experience for me and everyone else in my friend group, I think. I think I’ve cried more this year than I have since I was a kid, and you know what that is? Growth.
And honestly, I’ve really gotta thank my lovely fiance @goreyglitches for some of that. I am petrified of crying when anyone can see or hear me. I was raised to be The Strong One and The Strong One doesn’t cry. I conditioned myself to not be a “crybaby” and to never, ever, ever cry. And I know that’s bad - repressing negative emotions just makes it worse in the long-run. I figured that out with anger and tried to fix it long before I tried to fix the crying issue, and this year? This year Tobi’s helped a lot. I trust him, and I feel safe with him, so when he shuts the door and pulls the covers over us and holds me and tells me it’s okay to cry, I cry. And I am so grateful to him for that I don’t think I even have words.
And @ashencreations has been a wonderful friend this year, as always, even if both of us have been having issues this year. They’ve, I think, been one of the people I vented to the absolute most and they’ve been a real peach about it and even if I don’t have a whole lot of energy to talk sometimes (most of the time) they still love me and are accommodating of my issues. That’s pretty cool! I know a lot of people who can’t talk to people they’ve dated in the past and I have to admit I wouldn’t have been surprised if we fell out this year, but here we are - finishing another year as best friends. They let me have my space and they check in to make sure I’ve eaten and slept and showered. And I try to do the same but my check-ins have been a little lackluster this year while I find my boundaries so oops for that. I’ll try harder next year!
And really, I have to thank everyone who’s stuck with me through this year. My friends and my followers and even just folks who know me because I’m mutuals with someone they’re friends with - all of you. I know this year has sucked and I’ve been really annoying and I’m constantly asking for money, so thank you for sticking around. I’m trying to get back into the old swing of things and I’ve put in about a billion applications and I’m in University, can you believe that? You guys being patient even when I’m annoying has been really helpful. This is especially true of the folks in Lexi’s server who have to see me venting all the time. Y’all are darlings and I’m sorry I keep dragging my shit in there lmao I’ll try not to so much next year.
I’m especially thankful, though, I think, of the people who are still with me after so many years of knowing me. Like Ran and Ness and Zare and Comedy and even Em, even if we don’t talk. I mean, Em probably the most - she knew me when I was such a shithead that it’s kinda laughable now and yet she’s willing to be mutuals with me now. That’s pretty funny. (Hey, Em, guess who’s still trying to figure out how to write that TMNT thing and make it as interesting as the original idea was?) And of course I’ve known Comedy since elementary school but we didn’t really get close until high school and then I dropped off the face of the earth for like a year lol but she’s been a peach the whole time I’ve known her. And Ran’s been around for a while, we’ve known each other long enough that he probably still remembers when I went by Al. And Ness, who doesn’t have tumblr to my knowledge, well I’ve known her since diapers and she’s going to be the Maid of Honor at mine and Tobi’s wedding when we have the money to do a real ceremony - I would have filled that place at her wedding, too, if her sister-in-law wasn’t a needy bitch who had to have that position or she’d pitch a fit and ruin the entire wedding. And like, don’t even get me started on Zare, who was there when I was the worst shithead I’ve ever been and somehow still likes me even all these years later. I introduced myself to this man as Prussia, y’all. I introduced myself to him as a fallen kingdom because it was easier to pronounce than my legal name.
(It may have also been because I was into Hetalia and projected onto the character really hard because of all the “I’m awesome!” and thought it would help me be more confident, and also perhaps because my legal name being mispronounced led to a lot of people knowing me as a different fallen kingdom so it was a haha funny joak to me)
Also, this year, a certain vine-man turned youtube-man made a video that really, really spoke to me. Thomas introducing Remus and having an entire episode about intrusive thoughts and ‘bad’ creativity was - it meant a lot to me. Because since 2018, when I started writing Ego stuff, I haven’t... Well, I used to write a lot of dark stuff, y’all. I wrote violent shit because I wanted to and it was kinda just my Thing™. But after I started writing Ego stuff I started feeling like that was problematic, like it was a bad thing that I wanted to write nasty stuff like that. No one did anything to make me think that! It was just that, well, that kind of violence just... Seemed out of place. I’ve been in the process of writing a 146K+ word, 43 chapter fic containing ritualistic cannibalism, murder, unsafe sex, and various other nasty things since 2017 and I spent a terrifying amount of time feeling... Bad for that last year and this year. I’ve had to re-learn that it’s okay to write nasty stuff (no matter the moral issues other people take with it) because exploring not-so-great things in fic, especially to cope, is one of the many points of writing fic. And I’ll be honest, my dumpster fire fic was something I was writing to get through my associate’s degree because it was a new and terrifying experience and the prominent theme of running away was a feeling I was dealing with in tandem at the time. Remus’ introduction reminded me that dealing with intrusive thoughts and exploring the ‘bad’ creativity doesn’t make me a bad person, it just means I have nasty ideas and even the best people can have those. At least I can turn them into something I’m proud of writing.
So, going forward, I’m not going to shy away from writing my nasty stuff, and in 2020 I’m going to try and finish Trial and Error. I haven’t updated it since August, 2018, guys, it needs a new chapter.
And on that note, I don’t usually make New Years’ Resolutions. I never saw the point in the past and it wasn’t something super encouraged by anyone around me, so it never seemed important. But I’m making a resolution this year.
Over the years and years of writing, I’ve encountered something I think every writer encounters - I stopped writing. Now, I’m not saying I don’t write. Obviously I do, and have been, for a long time. I’m saying I don’t write like I used to. In 2013/2014 I wrote a 36-chapter Sly Cooper fic featuring an OC that still gets hits to this day, and I wrote it over the course of three months. I started it in November 2013 and it was done and put aside by the third of January 2014. It’s still one of my favorites! But the chapters are short, the storyline needs work, I didn’t spellcheck anything or even remotely try to keep my timeline completely straight. It was the first multi-chapter story exceeding 10 chapters that I ever finished. I wrote a chapter a day, as long as I was capable of doing so, I posted it, and I never looked back. It’s not a great story, but it’s one of my favorites. I loved it then and I love it now. And that’s something I don’t do anymore! When a fic doesn’t live up to my expectations, I don’t love it like I love that old fic, which did not at all live up to my expectations. My perfectionism has developed over the years and it has killed my creativity. I can still make cool stuff, can still make things I like, but it’s not the same anymore.
So my resolution is, in 2020, I’m going to write.
I’m going to write like I used to, but I’m going to put all of my experience into it.
I started writing in 2008 or 2009, maybe even before that - if I can recapture the love I had for it then, then I will be in great shape. I didn’t spellcheck back then and frankly I kinda sucked at writing even in 2013/2014, but if I can love writing like I did then and put all of what I’ve learned into it? Holy shit. I mean, I’ve been rewriting that old Sly Cooper fic for the past couple weeks, so it’s not exactly a mystery how much better things will turn out if I pour my much better spelling and grammar, my better ideas, my better commitment, into my fics going forward. All I need to make them great is to love doing it.
So in 2020, I’m going to write.
2019 has been a wild ride, and I’ve written less than half of what I wrote in 2018, not even counting all of my Ego requests for either year. I’ve spent the last three days in a mad dash to reach 100K written this year on AO3 by writing 30K before midnight tonight. I have 5K left! But even breaching 100K I won’t be halfway there. In 2018 I wrote 225.6K on AO3, not counting Ego stuff. And I think that’s because I haven’t loved doing it like I used to - the fact that I’ve loved the fic I started in order to make my “30K by tonight” goal and I haven’t let myself have enough time to agonize over whether it’s “good” or not has a lot of effect on how much I’ve written. My wordcount per hour has, like, doubled because I actually wanted to work. So I’ll reach my goal by tonight and still have time to celebrate at midnight.
So, again, thank you to everyone who’s stuck with me through this crazy year. Things haven’t been great, I’ll be honest, but I’m hoping next year will be better. They’re already off to a good start - my dad and I have a plan for him to start paying me back for how much money we spent moving here, and if I can get a job it’ll only get easier and it’ll only get better. And on top of that me and Tobi have plans to legalize our Marriage™ in September. It won’t be anything big - we’re waiting to have a real ceremony until we have the money to make sure Zare and Ness and Ran can come. But if all goes well, on 9/20/20 we’ll have the legal shit sorted out and Tobi will officially be my husband so that’s just another thing to be looking forward to.
Happy New Year, y’all! Hope you all have a good one. I speak a good 2020 into existence and I won’t stop until I get it.
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heathcliffdt · 5 years
Text
The Leviathan
summary: in which armin worries for mikasa’s wellbeing, mikasa suffers anxiety and trauma, and eren swears he had seen mikasa before
a/n: special thanks to isayama for providing angst i.e. ch. 112 wheee i miss e.m.a and eremika so much so here’s a college coffee shop cliché with a dash of u_u 🌸
Armin Arlert worked part time in a coffee shop near the university campus. Lucky for him, his boss was understanding. His schedule for work and his classes were conducive for him to get things settled and done. And to be honest, Armin actually thought Levi was kind and considerate enough to allow him to do short-notice exchange of shifts should his academics call for it.
His shift in Levi’s coffee shop was usually in the evening till early in the morning. Despite a flexible schedule, Armin could not deny how physically tolling things were. It was a tedious evening. He was on his third hour of his shift, an ample amount of customers seated in the small tables (they were probably students in front of the buzzing light of their laptops or books laid open atop of a book stand). The entrance’s small bell chimed indicating the entrance of a prospective customer. Armin straightened himself and approached the counter.
It was just Mikasa.
Routine dictated that Mikasa approached a small table and placed her tote bag on the opposite seat.
“Hey, Mikasa,” Armin greeted as Mikasa approached the counter.
“Hi, Armin. How are you holding up?”
Armin shrugged. “I’m tired as a bull.”
“I told you. You shouldn’t be that hard on yourself.”
Armin sighed. He was used with the pestering mother attitude of Mikasa. This was her language, and for the years he had been friends with her, he knew that it was her way of showing care. Anxiety. Worry. “Mikasa, we are not going through this again.” Armin offered her a gentle smile.
Mikasa looked down and clasped her hands. “I know. Sorry.”
“Besides,” Armin placed a warm yet reassuring hand on her shoulder. “I’m more than thankful for your cousin offering me a job. I couldn’t just resign, you know.”
Mikasa scoffed. “Yeah, right. Levi makes a hefty sum, Armin. This coffee shop is merely a dot in his income. It’s not like he depends on it!”
“He likes it here. It’s quite his destressing place. So, are you going to order or not?”
Mikasa pursed her lips and fished some change through her wallet. She did not need to say another word because Armin quite knows just what she wants. She orders the same thing, and she would never be the one enticed to try the specials during certain holidays.
Truth be told, Armin’s friendship with Mikasa is what biology refers to as interspecific cooperation.In simpler terms, it is mutualism. The bees get the nectar from the flowers as they hover around and above them; in return, the bees, for the love and care for the flowers, would give pollens in exchange, a token of gratitude. While they were so much younger, Armin had a hard time making friends. He was too limp and lame of a sheep, and Mikasa was the creepy kid no one ever wants to befriend. Neither him nor Mikasa anticipated the start of a wonderful friendship between two outcasts.
The cycle goes like this: the bees receive first, then the flowers receive next. Mikasa would worry her ass and head for Armin, she went as far as asking her cousin to help him find a racket to make income, just so for Armin to be able to fend and fund his allowances for college. On his part, it started off because they were friends when they were kids, but now, his reasons run deeper.
Armin noticed. During their teen years, Armin started to make other friends, he discovered different hobbies. He excelled in school. Mikasa on the other hand, continued being resigned.
“You can’t keep doing this to yourself, Mikasa. You need to have different friends. You need to meet people. It’s not forever you’re going to tail on me,” it came out as a plea.
She would just turn her back against him. Not in the rude way, because Mikasa was only rude to Levi and never to him or others. “I know, Armin. I know.”
“Then why can’t you? Maybe you’re not exerting much effort,” at this point Armin was getting exasperated.
For a split second, the lenses in Armin’s eyes shifted. He was not sure if Mikasa flinched or froze.
“Just because you’re handling things better than I am does not mean I’m not trying, Armin.”
And that was when Armin understood Mikasa.
He was ashamed of his words, and his apology took the form of actions.
That was when he knew.
And what really puzzled Armin was despite the fact that he had started to understand the silent turmoil of Mikasa, she radiates when she talks with a roguish-haired boy from his philo-anthro class.
That day, Mikasa waited for Armin outside of his classroom. She had offered to wait up on him so they could go back to their dormitories together. It was on their walk home when Armin popped the question.
“Who were you talking to earlier, at the library’s lobby?”
“Hmm? Oh, him. You noticed?” Mikasa sheepishly tucked strands of her hair behind her ear.
“Yeah, actually. Quite a couple of times that I have seen you hanging out with the guy. He’s in my philo class, I think.”
“He’s no one.”
“No one?”
She nodded her head. Armin looked at her quizzically.
“This is great, Mikasa,” he said, placing a hand on her warm shoulder.
“Huh? What is? What do you mean?”
“This might just be a new friend. It would really be refreshing if you meet new people, and here we are!”
“Armin, I told you. He’s no one.”
Armin knew that was when he should drop the conversation. He never pushed Mikasa; not anymore after he understood her. He trusted her enough that she would come about her demons; silently, Mikasa appreciated this gesture. They walked side by side, silently. He had grown comfortable with this kind of situation when it was just the two of them. There was no pressure to stir a small talk.
“I guess you’re right,” Mikasa said quietly.
“Huh, Sorry? I was dozin—”
“I guess you’re right, Armin. About meeting new people, I mean.”
Armin stopped at his tracks and looked at her at an even more confused state. He could swear he saw a twinkle in her eye visible only for the slightest second.
Mikasa met Eren at Levi’s coffee shop while waiting for Armin. On that day, Armin changed shifts for the morning. Mikasa found herself in a small table shaded by an umbrella over it outside the establishment. It was like those Parisian street café, only this one was shabby, frequented by broke college students and was, well, apparently, not situated in the Mediterranean.
The northeast monsoon left a bitter wind-kiss on her cheeks. The seats were quite cold and damp; luckily, her coat was warm enough for the tough dew.
Mikasa was majoring in political science—for what would that be of use, she was not quite sure. Her cousin Levi worked for the military and had encouraged her to maybe take something different but not distant to his field. Perhaps international relations or something, he suggested. She did not have any big plans for herself, so she eventually heeded Levi’s words. She brought out her copy of Thomas Hobbes’ Leviathanwhen Eren pulled the chair opposite her.
She looked away from her book and studied the being in front of her.
The boy inhaled deeply, exhaled heartily, fog forming before him.
He seemed somewhat her age. Perhaps also a college student in the same year studying in the same university. She shook her head and proceeded to her reading.
Consciously, Mikasa heard a small shuffling and ruffling of clothes as the boy fished for something from inside his pockets. He put a cigarette in between his lips and lighted it.
“Please don’t smoke in front of me,” Mikasa said, placing Hobbes on top of the table.
The boy raised his eyebrows and looked at her. He seethed a long inhale off his cigarette, took it off his lips, threw it on the asphalt and stepped over it. “Sorry,” he said.
“Not that I mind, but my cousin does.”
“So? Is your cousin even here?”
“He owns the place.”
He shook his head stubbornly, “I asked if your cousin is here.”
“He’s inside. The one behind the counter.”
The boy looked behind his back toward the direction of the building and squinted his eyes. “Oh! You mean the small runt over there? That’s your cousin?”
Mikasa nodded. “Yes. The small, er, runt.”
The boy chuckled. “Seems like no one’s ratting on me then.”
“Don’t flatter yourself. I just told you to not smoke in front of me.”
“My bad. I’m Eren, by the way,” he offered his hand to her. Mikasa took it.
“Mikasa. Are you drunk?”
Eren smirked. “Maybe.”
“It’s ten in the morning. How are you ‘maybe’ drunk?”
“It’s a part of man’s virtues,” to this Eren tapped his index fingers at Mikasa’s copy of Hobbes.
Mikasa snatched her book, fanning through the pages. “Man’s virtues? What are you even talking about?”
“If we’re talking about Thomas Hobbes, then man’s virtues would be something that issolitary, poor, nasty brutish, and—“
“And short. How do you know this?”
Eren chuckled again. “I take up philo.”
“Really?” Mikasa raised her eyebrows at this.
“Uh huh.”
“Is it your first time here? At Levi’s place?”
“Not really, no.”
“It’s the first time I see you, I think.” But not really, she thought to herself. In her mind, or in a different universe, maybe she had met him much earlier.
“Funny, I think I saw you before somewhere. Or maybe you just look like some acquaintance of mine. Or maybe you sported short hair before? Are you sure we haven’t met before?”
Mikasa gave him a weird look. “What are you talking about? I have never cut my hair short before.”
“Oh.” Eren stared at his surrounding. It was getting pretty cold, and his head was pounding so hard, it hurt so much. It was the hangover, and his empty stomach. It was a quiet morning. If it were a painting it would be bleak and dull, perhaps a modern take on the romantic’s painting of Wanderer Above the Sea of Fog.
He stared at the girl in front of her. He did not want to blame the vestiges of alcohol, but surely his neurons bagged some of it transmitting it to his brain and causing him this dizziness. Surely, surely, surely, Eren thought to himself, I know her.
He had seen her somewhere. Maybe in the fields, maybe in a pink nightdress, maybe in the face of death with both of their lives at a threat, maybe when they were caged like birds, maybe in bittersweet friendships, maybe in the future nights he’d be sleeping at her dormitory, maybe upon his discovery of her scarred past.
He shook his head off of the abominable fantasy. What the fuck was his mind even doing to him? He stood up from his seat. Mikasa looked up at him. He walked away from her and the café.
Just as he headed off—to where, Eren was not sure—he stopped at his tracks and went back to the table where Mikasa was seated.
“Hey,” he said, his breath increasing in pace.
Mikasa, once again, put her book down and looked up at him. “Hi, Eren. You’re back.” It was a shame that Mikasa’s last words were muffled as a warm red piece of cloth was sloppily draped around her neck.
“Stay warm,” Eren said.
He walked away from her. This time not looking back at her direction. Meanwhile, Mikasa felt the remains of Eren’s warmth travel through her body, upwards to her eyes, she could swear his kindness made her cry.
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curupiracue · 5 years
Text
The Reporter’s Crows, and a Truth-seeking Deception
Sigh…
Couldn’t find anyone, huh…
“Hm. I wonder what Nim is doing?”
Though I wonder, I can likely guess… Probably “fooling around” (I mean, it’s studying, but even that is fooling around given the circumstances), and that is assuming he is awake already… Yeaahhh… Probably not.
I mean, it’s pretty handy for me that he is such a sleepyhead, even if I don’t sleep that much… But still.
Sigh…
Crááá!
“Huh? That a crow?”
Hmmm… A crow, huh... No way. I’m just overthinking things. ...But then again, when Nim was rambling about this city, didn’t he mention all the bird species living on the region? He didn’t mention crows at all, so unless this is someone’s pet...
“I mean, it’s my pet, you know.”
Oh, great.
“That has got to be rudest “hello” ever.” I say, turning around to face her.
“You live and travel alongside that sorry excuse for a human being. Thought you’d have heard worst by now.” Not towards me, at least. That’s what I think of saying, but she turns her attention to the crow and cuts me off “Oh hey there, Jesus! Any news?”
“Uh, you have a crow named Jesus?” some random guy passing by asked.
“Well, what would you name a crow?”
“Uh, I dunno’... Bob, birdie, blackey, Shadow’s Night?”
“You’re boring. Get out of my sight.” And so the man did, feeling humiliated and intimidated.
“Poor guy…”
“Pff. Anyway, it looks like Jesus has nothing to report… you can keep flying, dearie!” With that, the crow went off flying.
“...How many of those things do you have?”
“100. But I only treat 10 of them as pets, else, I would get saddened with their deaths.” I wonder if she meant more or less a 100, or precisely that number, but I quickly abandon the train of thought. I didn’t much care for that. More importantly…
“Well, I don’t really like seeing you here. If you and Nim meet, I’m afraid one or the other will end up dead.”
“Why! How insulting… I think it’s pretty clear who would die in such a confrontation...”
“Yeah, you.”
She glared at me. ...Best not to provoke her too much. She’s way stronger than I am, after all. Even if her power is directed less towards combat.
“Sigh, this isn’t to the point though. More importantly, though I don’t like seeing you here, I think you might actually be needed. We’re having trouble making any progress with so few clues to go by.”
“Well, that’s obvious. Even more obvious, is that, given some time, I could find the serial killer. Or, rather, I WILL find ‘em. Now the question is… If it is so, then why the hell should I ally myself with you guys?”
“Well, you showed up… you must have had a reason for that. Unless that reason was just mocking me.”
“Yup, that’s it actually~”
Now was my turn to glare at her.
“Hahahahah! Gee, chill. Even I’m not about to stand by and let such a fucked up murderer get away. And though I could do it by myself, I’d better get some allies. ...Even if these allies include an asshole.”
“Yeah. You’re birds of a feather.”
“...Correction. TWO assholes. I’ll be going now... Should anything come up I’ll contact you (alone, preferably hundreds of meters away from you-know-who)” She started walking away, but with with a certain air that convinced me she had more to say. Though I wasn’t sure if I should, I stayed put waiting.
Turns out, I was right.
“Oh yeah, and that guy who passed by and talked shit about Jesus totally wanted to bone you. You should go right ahead, since you and Mr. I-should-die-soon are not a thing yet, somehow. Ok, now really, be seeing you!”
...Totally not gonna’ do that NOW.
(sigh) I’d better get going. Nim couldn’t possibly be still sleeping. ...Maybe.
Well, I needed a walk to get my thoughts in order anyway, so…
Wims Fourth. A journalist who took on various cases and researched all sorts of weird incidents to try and get good material. She’s generally pretty neutral, which alongside with her unpleasant personality makes her hard to work with… but, those things are just minor impediments. If they weren’t, well, there wouldn’t be any sort of cooperation or friendship in this mental world. No, the real problem is her mutual grudge with Nim.
As for why they hate each other so much, well, that’s a long story. So much so, that I haven’t heard all of the details yet. Suffice it to say though, that although they’re both surprisingly reasonable for jerks, that reasonable goes out the window when they’re together. I wasn’t joking when I told her that one of them might do something they would regret when together.
But in spite of that, it’s good that she got involved. She’s clever, and her genius brings along some powerful utility constructions as well: apart from secret police crows, she can also summon film tape of a person’s memories and rapidly look through them. Since the construction needs to sneak into someone’s mind to take the information from there before copying it and bringing it to her, you can theoretically block it, but… it’s not like she’s erasing the memories or tampering with them in any way. She’s just sneaking inside and walking quietly, basically. Since it’s so sneaky, and simple enough she can focus on making it even more sneaky, you’d need to be much stronger than her to even detect it, let alone block it.
I don’t think there’s anyone who fits the bill. Not even Nim or that serial killer.
So, in other words, there’s a door right in front of me.
...Wait, I think I got lost in thought. Almost ran face-first on the door.
“Huh? Yo, Novalue, you here?” Nim “said” through a psychic message.
“Sure am” I send in response.
“...You didn’t ran face-first on the door, now, did you?”
“Nope.”
“Then, did you almost do that?”
“Of course not. I just got surprised because I suddenly remembered I wanted to buy some donuts, is all.” I lie spontaneously but carefully
Suddenly Nim opens the door.
...Holding a wallet.
“Oh, ok~ Sorry for thinking bad of you. Also, you left your wallet home, dumbass! Documents aren’t important because the police is made of weak shits, but what would you do if you wanted to buy something?!”
I take the wallet, and enter.
“Soooo~ anything to report?”
“I met Wims.”
(The prism spins, and senseless light is reflected with a different sense)
Suddenly, I feel like grabbing a few knives and going all Adam Lanza. No, but it was guns… Nim, you FUCKING DUMBASS!
Anyway.
“Did you tell her to go die?”
“‘Afraid it would have the opposite effect.”
“Should have called me then~ I could be the Diomedes to your Nestor~”
“Do I really have to be Nestor…?”
“Huh? Well… Achilleus to Patroklus?”
“Wait, I’d be dead then.”
I clasped my hands and smiled with malice:
“Your corpse is worthy a rescue~”
“...So, anyway. About Wims...” Suddenly, I got in a bad mood.
“Yeah, yeah I know. Just don’t go about expecting too much, yes?” Novalue was about to speak, but I shot him a discreet glare, and complemented the “shut the fuck up” with additional flow of information “More pressingly, let’s go take a look at the police files again! There ought to be a few left, né?!”
“You just want to take a look at the files again, don’t you?”
“Nein...”
“(sigh) Fine, let’s go.”
We walked towards the precinct without a care in the world. But who needs care when you have style? Surely the passerby were gazing at our mutual beauty with much envy~!
Upon getting there though...
“Wait, you’re the ones from yester- yes, of course we can provide the files for usage. Also, Nim, you’re the greatest that has ever lived: I can’t even imagine how one might surpass your fundamentally lofty and superior existence.”
Novalue gave me a glare. Well, maybe not a glare, but a Novalue glare. Most people would think he was feeling sleepy or some shit
“Nim. That last part was unnecessary.”
“Whatever moooom!” I replied, waltzing and skipping towards our destination. I suddenly stopped, however, as if remembering something.
“Então tipo, hey, Novalue! Can you tipo, like, uh, go ahead and shtuff? I need to do something here first~” Novalue looked at me with distrust:
“You’re not gonna’ do something awful now, are you?”
“By the love of the T bearded idiot crow Novalue! Have some more trust in me, yeah?! I feel like a train going to a station full of passengers wantingtogotoanotheroneandexpecti-AHHHHHH” I inhale “Ugh, fuck, I couldn’t say all of it at once. POINT IS. You should trust me more!” I finish with a pout.
“That, however, doesn’t answer the question.”
“No, I’m not gonna do anything awful.”
That seemed to convince him. Hey, I wasn’t lying! I was about to do something justified, not awful.
“Heeey, Mr. Guaaaard~”
“Huh? I’m not a guard, technically, and I do have a name you kn-”
“Oh golly. The magic trick wore off, great. (sigh) Individuality is wasted on you, not gonna’ lie. I mean, the same can be said about me, but… Mmmm, I’m awesome and you’re not. So, whatever you. Is what I’d say, or just think. But, ya’ know. Uh, not sure how much you actually remember from yesterday, since I wasn’t the one on memory-wiping duty, buuuut. I, the great ME am still with my memories intact~”
“Memories…? Ah! Then, you must be the one alongside that fagg-”
Suddenly, his body feels light and his head is slammed at the table. Totally not by me.
“YOU DAMN PIECE OF SHIT! YOU MESSING WITH ME, HUH?! YOU’D BETTER START THANKING ME FOR SHOVING YOUR HEAD INTO THE SURFACE OF THIS TABLE, ‘CAUSE IF I HADN’T SHOVED YOUR HEAD INTO THE SURFACE OF THIS TABLE AND INSTEAD ALLOWED YOU TO FINISH THAT WORD, YOU’D BE FACING REPERCUSSIONS OF A WHOLE OTHER LEVEL!” I threw his body back into the chair “YOU DAMN WASTEFUL SACK OF MEAT!” I turn my gaze to a mug of coffee alongside it’s ingredients “Oooh, coffee.”
“Man, coffee sure is bitter. I can’t take mine without tons of sugar. Generally, if I am to make coffee, it’s for Novalue, so I’m more experienced with making black coffee, though. Here, lemme’ make some.” I add in enough coffee for it to become saturated “Ah, whooops. Maybe a teeeensy bit to much.” I throw the sugar at the floor “won’t be needing that. Let your family feast on it. Now, say “aaaaah!””
“aaaaah!? GuulphgMMMM!”
“Theeeeere weee... go.” with a jerk of my hand, I break the mug on his mug, cutting just the right amount of flesh, before pushing his chair to it’s limits and making him fall to the ground.
Pom.
“Ouch, that looked like it hurt. But see, you could have broken something. If we had met, say, an year back, you definitely would have. Which reminds me, I’ll be taking this key.” I pick up the key for the emergency exit “Wait, I didn’t beat you that bad… I’ll be leaving this key.” I put the key back on his pocket. Would be bad if someone got trapped and they needed it… Though that’s not the reason I did this, it’s just that I realized Novalue wouldn’t much mind this.
Speaking of him…
“Yo! Novalue, I’m coming~”
I open the door and find him looking through some documents. He then looks at me, seeming bored and closes the file.
(The prism spins, and senseless light is reflected with a different sense)
Well, he sure took his time… can’t trust him to have kept that promise. Not that I much care. I close the file.
“It’s no use. Honestly, I’m thinking the killer must have some sort of connection to the police: sure, accessing the file wouldn’t be a problem regardless, but in order to be this through… if not a policeman, then maybe a lawyer or a judge.”
“Seems likely. I’m, uhh, guessing you didn’t find anything?”
“Nope.” I went to store the file away. “This whole trip is seeming useless to me… Maybe we should visit the regist-?”
“Hm? Whazis’?” Nim interrupts me, picking a file.
“What’s with that file?”
“Dunno’. Felt a little ajar to me, though I’m not sure why...” Hmm… though he alternates between not trusting it and boasting it to the point of unreasonability, Nim has a remarkable intuition. Might as well see where it leads. “Sebhbos Mmsseptnote? Ugh. Just looking at the photo disgusts me. Wonder if he was some jerk I met and forgot?”
“...I really doubt you’d forget something like this.”
“Tee hee~ Weeelll. Even for my most grand majesty, it could be possible… have I met him as a child, perchance?”
“Well, is it anything interesting?”
“Nah. He visited this city a long time ago. So not much is said. Doubt it’s him we’re looking for.”
“...If you say so… In that case, let’s look some more”
“Yes, captain!”
(Time passes...)
Well, today was an useless day. Every day felt like one, but this one actually was.
...And to top it all off, it seems Nim has no intention of letting me sleep.
“Wake up. Up up up.”
“Ugh...” I wanted to ask what time it was, but I had no energy to do it. Luckily, Nim was able to guess:
“4:14 and 57 seconds. Figured this time would be safest. Now get your head out of that pillow: I’m pretty damn cranky that I couldn’t have my intelligence sleep.”
“Mmm… safest?” I ask, still refusing to let go of the pillow.
“Yes. Thing is, that serial killer has been following us all day.”
“What…?” the news remove a bit of my sleepiness, but far from all of it; I am, however, now alert enough.
“It started with a bad feeling… so I decided to try searching using the Mental World, as well as paying close attention to everyone around us, though never actually intentionally doing it. And guess what, though I couldn’t see him well, nor properly identify him, there was always this sharply-dressed, thirty-something blonde man around, as well as a constant presence of a monstrous power that, although contained, I eventually identified as being his...”
“Before anything else… how powerful is he?”
“About… as powerful as me. ...P-Probably superior”
Huh… that makes him way more powerful than I am. Well, whatever. About Nim though...
“Don’t get anxious about it. First of all, there is an age discrepancy. Secondly, he probably doesn’t have much combat experience… or any sort of on-the-field experience with the Mental World. And finally… I’m here with you.”
He reacted simultaneously well and unwell, but didn’t complain. Probably because it was more of the former than the latter, and he was too sleepy for that.
“Well… So, about the plan.”
“Yes?”
“Basically...”
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Text
tagged by @phangirlwithatrumpet thanks nat ❤️
Rules: fill in the questions, tag other people!
LAST:
drink: water
phone call: my mom
text message: last one i sent was "i already put on sweatpants that's game over" to which @ wafflesatan replied "the bra is off and it coming back on"
last time you cried: earlier this week i think
HAVE YOU EVER:
dated someone twice: ..... technically yea...... i "dated" the same boy once when i was 7 and again when i was 10 but i still say that i've never had a boyfriend whenever people ask bc 1) both those times lasted less than two weeks and 2) you don't fuckin... go on dates or anything when you're a child.... all you do is play together more often so i still think it doesn't count. he does commercials now btw
been cheated on: nope
kissed someone and regretted it: never kissed anyone m8
lost someone special: yea
been depressed: uuuuhh i've felt "depressed" before but i don't have depression ya kno
been drunk and thrown up: nope
IN THE PAST YEAR HAVE YOU:
made a new friend: i met a bunch of new people at orchestra camp!!
fallen out of love: haven't fallen in m8
met someone who changed you: i guess??
laughed until you cried: i mean definitely but i don't remember when or why
found out who your true friends are: idk?? i have good friends if that's what u mean
found out someone was talking about you: a couple times actually! one time jimothy from my orchestra asked me 'you're asexual right?' which i definitely have never said to him so someone told him that and i have absolutely no clue who. it's a mystery
GENERAL:
how many people on tumblr do you know in real life?: uuuhh at least 2 lmao but i knew them before we followed each other
do you have any pets?: no :(
do you want to change your name?: nah
what time did you wake up this morning: 09:30 i think
what were you doing last night?: i played sly cooper: thieves in time and tried my new cello!! or like i'm borrowing it to see if i wanna buy it so it's not mine yet but hey
name something you cannot wait for: i mean i just got into folkehøgskole so i'm doing that later this year!! i'm also excited for prom
have you ever talked to a person named tom?: i've talked to a "thomas" but never a tom
what’s getting on your nerves right now: the fact that i have to DO SHIT all the time and MAKE CHOICES and BE A HUMAN like wtf
blood type: no clue
Nickname: you can't make a nickname out of 'ingrid' lmao although in one group chat my nickname is 'luigi' bc i'm tall and i wear green
relationship status: single lmao
zodiac sign: Pisces (birthday's coming up guys)
pronouns: she/her
favorite show: i'm gonna go with parks and rec and brooklyn nine-nine
College: i might be doing a degree in european language with italian but that's gonna be 2019
hair color: blonde
do you have a crush on someone: nope
what do you like about yourself: i'm talented and smart and real cute
FIRSTS:
first surgery: never actually had surgery! i got stiches once though, in my ear of all places
first piercing: got my ears pierced in 4th grade and they grew shut like a month after, and i never got one since
first sport you joined: football
first vacation: first one i remember was either northern italy or mallorca
first pair of sneakers: ????? do people care about this???
RIGHT NOW:
eating: boutta eat cereal or a fruit salad
drinking: nothing i'm in bed rn
im about to: eat breakfast
listening to: nothin
get married: nah lol
want kids: nope
career: mm with the language degree i'm aiming at translator or tour guide or something, but musician (orchestra or pit) would be really cool too, and obviously broadway is the dream
WHICH IS BETTER
eyes or lips: ????
hugs or kisses: HUGS
shorter or taller?: i get weirdly defensive when someone is noticeably taller than me lmao
troublemaker or hesitant? i'm v hesitant, i don't know what 'better' means here
older or younger: ????
romantic or spontaneous: oh wait are these about what you like in a partner? because uuuhhh lol
sensitive or loud: sensitive
hookup or relationship: neither that's the whole point
HAVE YOU EVER
kissed a stranger: no
drank hard liquor: no
lost contacts/glasses: perfect vision babyyy
sex on the first date: first of all no second of all i'm not even gonna be on the date in the first place
broken someone’s heart: not that i know of
been arrested: nope
turned someone down: never been asked out
fallen for a friend: again, i'm very aromantic
DO YOU BELIEVE
in yourself: yea!!
in miracles: never really thought about it
in love at first sight: this tag really isn't targeted at aromantic people lmao
oh boy i'm gonna tag uuhh @wafflesatan @apricool @questionable-swonk @baeleywilliams @bisexualscotty @infinitelyqueer and honestly all my other mutuals?? y'all are great
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onceuponamirror · 7 years
Note
7, 22 and/or 45! Whichever you feel like :P
combo platter! this also spiraled way out of control
7. fake relationship & 22. two miserable people meeting at a wedding
[read on ao3] [should also establish this is comics!chuck, not tv!chuck]
PART ONE
.
.
.
The hitching goes off without a hitch.
As in, an adorable toddler rumbles down the walkway as the ringbearer and everyone coos, vows are shared, tears shed, people clap, and Betty is in the back, chugging champagne.
Which is probably not so all well and good, considering this is just the practice round.
It’s not so bad, really, Betty thinks, as she watches the new bride and groom gently sway across the dance floor. Considers that maybe she’s being dramatic.
After all, she’s happy for Nancy, her best work friend. She looks beautiful tonight, she’s been beaming all day, and Betty knows that her own anxiety around weddings is not fair to project around onto others.
And while she doesn’t know much about Nancy’s choice of husband, save for the fact that Chuck has done a couple of children’s books for the publisher for which they both work, their relationship certainly seems solid and cute, and Betty once again thinks that, alright, maybe she is being too dramatic.
But then she watches Chuck and Nancy share a kiss so tender and beautiful it feels wrong to have seen, and she curses. Apparently out loud, because a moment later, from a dry voice across the table comes, “You’d publish your mother with that mouth?”
She lowers her glass from her lips and glances over at the guy a few seats over. It’s just them at the table now, everyone else having gotten up to mingle, dance, or let themselves eat cake.
That is, just her and someone with dark hair, a downturned mouth that thus holds a frown with ease, and an angled face. Even in formal wear, something about him vaguely, dimly screams I was once a disaffected youth.
She’d noticed him earlier; it was hard not to, when he was the cutest person at the table, even if the few times she looked over he was scowling or avidly puncturing his dinner with a fork.
But Betty knows what locking eyes at a wedding means, and she is not here for a hook up. So she kept her roving gaze firmly away from him all throughout dinner, to the point she hadn’t even realized it was now just the two of them left.
“Pardon?” She asks, furrowing her brow at him. He looks back at her, eyes scanning across her face. Unfortunately, he’s still just as cute, especially as he loosens his tie and leans back in his chair.
“Dumb joke, never mind,” he sighs, even as Betty thinks, belatedly, it was actually kind of funny. “Bride or groom?”
“Bride,” she replies, straightening in her chair despite herself. Sit up straight, Elizabeth. There’s no such thing as a second impression. “You?”
“Both,” the guy says, after a long sip of water. “Kind of. Nancy is my editor, and Chuck did a cover for a book of mine. Only met him twice, though. Good guy.”
“Oh,” she says, blinking in surprise. He’s a writer then, which doesn’t exactly help her case of not finding a place to put attraction at a wedding. She’s always had a bit of a thing, as Veronica likes to put it, for writers. “I work for Random House too. YA though, so we probably wouldn’t have crossed paths unless you’re secretly the next Meg Cabot. I’m Betty,” she adds, reaching across the table to offer her hand. He shifts a chair closer in order to easily shake it.
“Jughead,” he returns, “but only colloquially. Nancy insisted I go by a pseudonym.”
“That was probably wise,” Betty says, trying to sound kind but smirking all the same. “What is it? Maybe I’ve read your book.”
“Oh, I’m the real Meg Cabot, actually,” Jughead grins, wiggling his eyebrows. She giggles, which is also not helping her determination against wedding hookups.
“Wow, I love your work,” she says seriously, a hand over her heart. “You really speak to the teenage girl in all of us.”
He scoffs, clearly wrestling with a deeper grin as his eyes roll up at the ceiling before landing back squarely on her. Then, after a long moment, and without any segue, “So, you seem pretty miserable.”
“Excuse me?” She asks, grateful she’s just finished sipping at her champagne, because a second earlier, and she would’ve choked on it.
Jughead shrugs. “Look, I’m not great at small talk, and I noticed you’ve fondly been cradling a drink every time something stupid and sappy happens. So. Just a professional courtesy that I ask.”
“I think that’s the opposite, actually,” she sighs, and his face twists with something like amusement. She folds her hands in her lap, trying not to blush when she thinks about the fact that he’s been apparently noticing her. “But yeah, I guess you’re right. I realized I’m not a big fan of weddings.”
“Huh,” he says, looking at her quizzically, like perhaps she’s a book he hasn’t read. She frowns, and he must think he’s done the wrong thing, because he hastens to add, “I mean. You just have that…show-biz look to you. Not literally, but that fresh off the bus to Manhattan look, where the world is your oyster, but also all the world’s a stage, you know the drill.”
“You don’t know me,” Betty says slowly, after a long moment, not even sure what he’s implying. Just because she’s…what, blonde, she isn’t allowed her own healthy dose of cynicism? Maybe if she was still sixteen and luminously hopeful about life and love, she’d understand what he meant.
But that Betty Cooper is all grown up, and despite being paid to edit the literary mind of a teenager every day, she does not think like one, not anymore.
“That’s true,” Jughead replies, scratching behind his ear. He looks uncomfortable. “Sorry. Okay. I have an annual checkup with the podiatrist for the foot stuck in my mouth, I promise.”
She laughs despite herself, almost wanting to stay offended. Her hands fidget in her lap, so she moves them onto the table, her palms flat against the silk tablecloths. “It’s not like I got left at the altar, or anything,” she says, without really meaning to. Surely he doesn’t care about her issues. “Actually, officially, I was the one who got cold feet. But it was a mutual disillusionment.”
“You were engaged?” He asks, after a pause.
“Oh, well, twice, technically,” she sighs, a little grin appearing at her mouth. She puts on a voice of faux-wistfulness. “The first fiancé is actually getting married himself in a couple of months. Not to me, but I’ll never forget the day he proposed—kindergarten, as we shared our crayons.”
Jughead digs his tongue into his cheek, eyebrows raised in amusement. “Sounds romantic.”
“Very,” she agrees.
“Still hung up on that high bar set by a five year old, eh?”
When she doesn’t say anything, just lets her eyes fall back on the now busy dance floor, she hears a soft oh next to her. “You’re still hung up on him in general?” He asks, something in his voice she cannot place.
“Hung up is a strong way to put it,” Betty says, finally. Self-loathing is probably more accurate, the side effect a lifetime of asking herself why-nots. Why not me, why not now, why not us—but she’s not about to dump that on a stranger.
Still. Archie’s wedding is the biggest why not of them all. She doesn’t want to be with him, she knows that much now, knows he was definitely right to want to stay just friends, but it’s always going to be the biggest rejection of her life, and she’s never quite gotten past it. Despite her best efforts, it has made her—well, for lack of a better word, a bit jaded.
Because she is never going to get her first love back. She’d put it out there, tapered it with a tenderhearted, childish wish, and simply gotten a return to sender.
Betty knows it’s a problem with fantasy. Knows that she gets wrapped up in ideas of should, expectations of want, not need. Archie was always a daydream of what a love should look like, should make her feel.
She knows this all, has analyzed it plenty with Veronica over and over, and just can’t quite let it go. The massive break up with Adam had only proved that.
Realizing now that Jughead is still watching her, she finds herself saying, “He…was always an idea of romance, to me. But sometimes fantasies feel better than reality, even when it’s not healthy. So it still hurts to see him really…committing, I guess.”
Jughead nods, but not in a way that says he really seems to understand. She wonders if he’s ever been in love.
“So this wedding is supposed to be my practice run,” she continues, sighing. “And based on tonight, I don’t think it’s going to go that well. Especially the alone at the singles table thing, which is bound to happen again.”
“Oh, this was the singles table?” He repeats, clearly sarcastically, and grinning broadly. “Hadn’t noticed.” She passes him a wry look. “I mean, hey, I get it. Weddings suck. Dramatic gestures do not love make, in my opinion, so anything that’s such an overt statement of it—makes me immediately suspicious, you know?”
“As in, overcompensation? The bigger the wedding, the more doomed the marriage?” She supplies, and he chuckles darkly.
“Sure. But hey, it’s an archaic tradition, so almost all marriage is doomed in general, in that I think a lot of people get married for the wrong reasons. I’m not particular about where I throw my criticism.”
“Ah. Child of divorce?” She asks, cradling her face with her hand so she can lean in a little closer.
His eyes, which had been briefly watching the bridal party perform the cha-cha-slide, turn back to her. The lights of the dance floor flick between red and blue, and he’s backlit by the churning colors, almost neon, like some kind of beat poet slung under the arm of Americana.
He folds his arms and leans back in his chair, one corner of his mouth tugged up. “Maybe.”
“Your cynicism is so cliché,” she hears herself saying, almost kindly, despite the resulting mild horror for being so forward.
He sighs, but the grin is still there. “Ideally a little less cliché than you think. But hey, I’m not the one mooning over the memory of a five year old.”
She opens her mouth to protest, particularly because she’s not used to being called out on this by anyone but Veronica or Cheryl, but, well, he is right. Her shoulders deflate. “True. So do I win the pity party?”
“Nah,” he says, snaking a green bean from her plate. “Maybe at the next wedding, though.”
“Ha, ha,” she says, digging her chin into her palm. “But. Probably. I don’t know how I’m going to get through it without having a panic attack. Ply myself with wine, I guess.”
Jughead is watching her, the slightest movement in his brow that she cannot name. But before he can find his words, Midge is jogging over, her heels kicked off and her pink maid of honor dress billowing with the run. She seems perhaps a bit tipsy, grabbing Betty’s hand and pulling her to her feet.
“Betty! Come on, Nancy and I want you to dance with us!” She seems to notice Jughead is there a moment later, her eyes darting between him and Betty with the silent question all women know how to ask one another; do you need an out, or do you like him and want to stay?
And Betty realizes it’s both, remembering her firm rule about not hooking up at weddings. Not that she’s particularly great at casual sex as it is, but now that she’s been talking to him, she especially doesn’t want to feel like she’s using him for escapism from her own misery. And she is in no place for a relationship, and that’s getting ahead of herself, as usual.
He might be interested, and she could probably find a way to justify that curiosity, but she’s not going to find out tonight, and thus probably not ever.
So she just runs a smoothing hand down the front of her lavender dress, and as it’s also strapless, makes a plan to tug it up once she’s out of Jughead’s sight.
She may still have her mother’s stern propriety lessons rattling around in her head after all these years, and she may have learned to curse or try to be forward in rebellion of such, but Alice Cooper leaves a scorch mark. She doesn’t want to fix her dress in front of him, that would look improper.
“Let’s dance,” she agrees, and Midge squeals, tugging her away, barely giving Betty enough time to wave and call, “Nice to meet you, Jughead!”
Later, she catches his eye on her once, her arms in the air to Dancing Queen, bathed in blue light, her hair lose in its bun, his expression too far away to read.
The next time she looks over, his seat is empty.
.
.
.
The rest of July comes and goes before Betty even has a minute to think about it; summer rainstorms boom out of nowhere, drenching New York City in five-minute-bursts, but the community garden next to her building is lush with resulting blooms, so she can’t complain.
Nancy returns from her honeymoon, still all aglow, even in the florescent of their conference room—and now that they’re away from the buoyant, public declarations of love, Betty can properly appreciate how happy she is.
The advertising team packs up their laptops and pens while Nancy wanders over to Betty’s side of the conference room, fanning out Betty’s own printouts for the roughs her book designers sent over. “Nice stuff this season,” Nancy comments.
“Yeah, I liked your presentation too,” Betty says, though a little thought nags at her, realizing he’d never actually given her his pseudonym. “So, were any of them Jughead? We were at the same table at your wedding, chatted a little. Just curious.
Nancy looks up in surprise, which quickly turns into an almost sly expression. “Mm-hmm. The singles table, if I remember correctly,” she says, her inflection annoyingly interested
“It wasn’t like that,” Betty insists, even as she shifts from one foot to another. “We just talked.”
That seems to coil Nancy’s smug look. She almost laughs. “Talked? With Jughead? I think my record is getting five words out of him in one sitting. Bless email, it’s the only place he’ll actually unload.”
Betty blinks. That was not the impression she got from him at all, but circumstances can change a lot about a person’s usual behavior. Her preoccupation with her champagne flute, for instance—one she deeply regrets, as she was so hungover the next morning she didn’t get out of bed all day. Probably particularly because she is not a big drinker in general; all it took was a couple glasses to put her under.
“Anyway,” Nancy sighs, restacking the printouts of Betty’s she’d been scanning. “He’s J. Pendleton. He writes a lot of investigative, murder-mystery type stories, but personally I think he’s getting a bit restless with the genre. He won’t admit it until he’s got another manuscript testing out something new, though.”
“Hey, don’t knock safety nets,” Betty says, holding open the conference room door for them both to pass through it. “I think that’s wise.”
“Aw, you two are a match made in paranoid heaven,” her friend retorts, giggling. “Glad to see there’s still an argument to be made for seating charts.”
“Stop,” she sighs. “Again, nothing happened.”
“Irrelevant,” Nancy replies, her fingers wiggling in a wave goodbye as they cut down different corridors.
And that’s the last of it, until July has finished rolling into June and August lumbers on, laying thickly over New York City with humidity and rain. But Betty doesn’t mind; she’s always found the sound of pattering drops to bring a sense of cleansing comfort, particularly summer rainstorms, arriving swiftly like a promise.
Betty is just ruminating over this, standing under the awning of her building, watching the sheets of water landing loudly beyond and mourning the fact that she left her umbrella upstairs, when she hears her name.
She turns, recognizing the voice but not knowing who to place it with. Jughead stands a few feet away, dressed in a pair of black jeans, sneakers, and a white undershirt underneath an open, faded blue shirt.
“Jughead!” She exclaims, genuinely surprised to see him again. Well, ever again, really.
“Hey,” he returns, scratching at his neck.
After an awkward moment of somewhat shocked silence on her behalf, she realizes the polite thing to do is to hug him, so she steps forward and embraces him. He freezes, but eventually his hand slowly comes up to touch her back, patting it once.
Wondering if that was perhaps the wrong thing to do, Betty pulls back. He doesn’t move, and for a moment, it’s just them standing halfway out of a hug, their faces not far apart, looking at one another. And then he shuffles back himself, a look on his face she doesn’t know how to describe. Discomfort, maybe, or something else.
“Um, how are you? What are you doing here?” She asks, clasping her hands in front herself.
He throws a shoulder back towards the building. “Meeting with Nancy. She wanted to show me the finished cover and go over about a few edits. That’s the nice thing about living in the same city as your publisher, getting to talk in person.”
Betty gives him a skeptical look. “Nancy told me she was lucky to get five words out of you.”
He might flush. “I’m…listening. You know. I’m there to take notes,” he explains, shrugging. “I speak, just when I think it’s important.” He pauses, his tongue swiping across his teeth. “So, you two were talking about me?”
“No,” Betty says quickly, her turn to blush. “You were in Nancy’s fall schedule presentation.”
His eyebrows settle back into normal place. “You heard about the new Princess Diaries book I have planned, then?” He cuts back, with that kind of drawling amusement she’s come to appreciate about him.
“So excited for it, Meg,” she sighs. “But really, I’ve actually been meaning to check out your work, Jughead Pendleton. Heard you got some good reviews to your name.”
“Jones,” he corrects. “I mean, Pendleton is my middle name. I’m Jughead Jones, for the record. Wouldn’t want you getting the wrong idea about me, thinking my name is any worse than it already is.”
She glances at him, suddenly unsure what to make of this whole conversation. Is he…trying to flirt with her? Or at the very least, get to know her? But then surely he wouldn’t have been so awkward about the hug, right?
“Well then, for continuity’s sake,” she says, gesturing to herself. “Cooper, Betty Cooper.”
“I’m not going to make a James Bond joke, just letting you know that I thought of one,” he intones, grinning. “Anyway. I should be heading back to Brooklyn. Got an article to finish.”
“You’re a reporter too?” Betty asks, almost frustrated about how on paper this is all feeling.
“Not really,” he says, shaking his head. “Nothing heavy. I write freelance for a couple of magazines, on the side. Reviews. Mostly music stuff.”
Her face pitches into an impressed expression. “Rolling Stone?”
“Pitchfork. My sister works there, so it is pure nepotism at it’s most finest. But I tried the whole principled thing, and learned that unfortunately, capitalism is the beast on all our backs. Money is money.” He shrugs. “So I try not to squint too closely at it. Anyway—uh, curiously, are you just standing here for the fun of it, or were you heading out?”
“I was going to take a coffee break, but I forgot my umbrella upstairs,” she sighs, looking back at the rain, showing no signs of letting up. “But you said you have a deadline, so I’ll let you go.”
“Yeah, deadline,” he says, blowing out a breath and opening up his black umbrella. “Alright. Well, I’ll see you around, Cooper, Betty Cooper.” He tips one finger from his forehead in her direction, in some kind of mock salute, and then he’s gone, walking off towards the A train.
As he cuts around a corner, Betty turns her eyes back onto the rain. She finds she doesn’t much appreciate it anymore.
.
.
.
“I’m here, I’m here!” Veronica says, rushing around to kiss Betty’s cheek, and then Cheryl’s lips. “Ugh, long day. You’d think absolutely everyone has the competence of a sea slug without me. I had so many suits to file, it’s amazing I have any manicure left at all. I mean, look at this,” she says, holding up the back of her hands to flash them one chipped nail out of an otherwise perfect set of gleaming, navy blue polish.
“You’re late,” Cheryl says simply, her wide, red lips pursed.
“I’m not late,” Veronica sniffs, her chin in the air. “You were both early.”
“I was early,” Betty says, smiling. “Cheryl was on time. You were late.”
“Semantics,” comes the response, waving a dismissive hand in the air, as Veronica slides onto her stool.
“Well, late or not, we still ordered you a French Cabernet,” Betty adds, pushing forward the long-stemmed glass of dark liquid.
Veronica’s expression is equally parts genuinely touched and panderingly simpering as she gathers the glass close. “Have I told you today that I love you?” She sighs, the painted plum of her lips matching the color of the drink.
“Hello? I’m right here,” Cheryl cuts in, eyes rolling, but her mouth fidgeting with a grin as Veronica reaches over and squeezes her hand.
“So,” Veronica says sharply, turning back to Betty, both hands now in the air between them. “Catch me up, Girl Talk. We haven’t seen you in so long!”
This is true; their weekly meet up at their favorite, warmly lit wine bar halfway between Betty and Veronica’s offices had been delayed for much of the summer, as Veronica and Cheryl had been busy sunning themselves and Instagramming cobbled-street-romance while vacationing in Italy.
“Well, we had our fall season pitches last week,” Betty starts, distinctly aware that every single time Veronica asks her about her life, she has very little else to offer up other than work related information. “I have a new author I’m really excited about, she’s so sweet. Oh—and Nancy told me to tell you she was sorry you two couldn’t make the wedding, but hopes you had fun in Rome.”
“Oh, right, she must be back from her honeymoon by now,” Veronica chirps, one hand curled underneath her chin. Then her mouth twists downwards, her voice lowering. “How was it for you? All the wedding stuff?”
Betty blows out an exasperated breath. “Okay, why does everyone keep acting like this whole wedding thing is such a big deal? Just because I broke off an engagement doesn’t mean I was traumatized.”
“Oh, please,” Cheryl says, flipping back a curtain of long red hair, her eyes once again rolling faster than King Henry could roll heads. “I just got back from my vacation, must we jump back into Betty’s newfound sense of existential nihilism already?”
“Thank yo—wait, hey,” Betty says, eyes narrowing. “Not fair.”
“It is fair,” the redhead counters sharply. “You’ve had, what, twenty-five years to get over Archie Andrews? And from where I stand, you’ve only gotten worse. And Veronica was the one who actually dated him, but you don’t see her crying over spilled orange juice. Move on, little egg.”
“I am over him,” Betty huffs, her hands curled at the edge of their round table. Cheryl arches an unconvinced brow. “I am. Veronica, tell her.”
“She is,” Veronica agrees, though her tone obliquely carries a but. And then, her eyes flicking onto Betty, “But…well, sweetie. You and I both know he represents a certain amount of symbolism for you. Symbolism of which, as soon as I became aware of, I ended things with him, if you’ll recall. We were never meant to be, anyway. But, I digress; you made a declaration of love that went unreturned, and thus it makes witnessing great declarations of such hard for you. That’s perfectly understandable.”
Both Betty and Veronica look at Cheryl, eyes again rolling. “Whatever. I don’t recall asking for your amateur psychoanalysis, but fine. I get it.”
“Can we change the subject, please?” Betty asks, sighing, but her best friend is eying her curiously, in the way that she does when she’s struggling with whether or not to voice a thought.
“I just wish you didn’t have to go alone,” Veronica says, all in a rush, clearly as if she can’t help herself. “Can’t you bring me as a plus-one? For solidarity?”
“Veronica, I’m sure Archie didn’t invite his exes to his wedding for a reason,” Betty says flatly, though secretly touched all the same for her protective nature.
“Then bring Cheryl,” Veronica suggests stubbornly, even though she’s far too smart for such a useless, obstinate argument.
“Right, because that’ll look so much more subtle, bringing the ex’s current girlfriend,” Cheryl says, her tone dry.
“Point taken,” Veronica says, her lips twisting into a slight pout. She looks back over at Betty. “What about Midge?”
Betty sighs, thinking privately that of all the people at this table, the once-socialite is the last one who needs a refresher in traditional etiquette. “Plus-ones do not qualify for friends, as Val and Archie know you all are. They’re for dates, V.”
“You could’ve started dating Midge, for all they know,” Veronica insists, and then takes the kind of big breath that precursors a trademarked Lodge rant. “Bisexuality—”
“Midge is engaged,” she counters, desperately wishing Veronica would do something uncharacteristic like drop it. “Anyway, again, reminding you that I’d like to change the subject.”
“Only because you’re trying to avoid the reality that Archie’s wedding is making you already retroactively anxious,” Veronica replies, lips pursed.
Betty sighs. “So I’m anxious currently, and simultaneously in the future, while also reminiscing about the anxiety that would be then past? How exactly am I doing all that? Do you know something about time travel that I don’t?”
Cheryl throws her a rare, amused smile, but Veronica plows right on, ignoring her. “I just don’t understand why you’re even going,” she huffs, folding her arms over the top of the table.
“Because I want closure,” Betty says, her voice slightly raised. She pauses, finding a moment to resume normal pitch. “I shouldn’t have been with Adam for a bunch of reasons. Archie wasn’t one of them—but when I broke off the engagement, I just felt so…tired. Like it all came back to me at once. Archie didn’t mean to hurt me so many times, but he did. And it made me feel broken, and unwanted. And I’m sick of that feeling hanging over my head. I want to close the book; I want to see it closed. I think I can only get that by actually watching him get married, you know?”
For the first time tonight, Cheryl’s expression turns to one of actual, genuine sympathy. She and Veronica exchange looks, the mood instantly changing.
“Look,” Veronica says, letting out a breath, her voice much lower and less bullish. “I get that, sweetie. That’s totally valid. And you know I’m all about the independent woman. I’m not trying to force you to start dating again. But I would be lying if I said I wasn’t also…worried about you going through all that emotional weight alone. That’s why I’m just saying—bring a date. Someone to have by your side if you get anxious. Someone you trust. I can’t believe I’m saying this, because I know I deliberately wasn’t invited, but I’ll throw social grace into the wind. Let me come with you.”
Betty rubs at her eyes, closed to her best friend, unable to go through this conversation much longer. She knows she’s trying to help, but this just isn’t going to go anywhere productive. “Veronica…”
“No, I mean it,” her best friend interrupts, in her typically adamant tone. “I’m sorry, but I know I’m right about this. Betty, just let me—”
“I’m already seeing someone, okay?” Betty blurts out, for no other reason than to get Veronica to stop. And it absolutely, finally works; Veronica’s mouth snaps shut at once.
And then, almost shrilly, “Quoi?”
“Yes, what?” Cheryl laughs, her look pointed.
“Please don’t act like it’s so impossible,” Betty says, sighing, even as she has absolutely no idea what she’s saying, save for the distant, dim certainty that this is a terrible, terrible plan. “That’s not helping anything.”
“No, no,” Veronica says quickly. “I just meant…well, why didn’t you tell me? Why didn’t you tell me twenty minutes ago, when we could’ve spared ourselves this entire conversation?”
“Well, you didn’t let me get very far into said conversation,” Betty points out, and technically, this is the truth.
There’s a long pause.
“No, you’re lying,” Cheryl says finally, decisively. Betty stills; it’s like being doused in cold water. Or being caught with her hand in the cookie jar. Or—whatever idiom applies, because Betty’s brain has short-circuited at being called out so immediately. Cheryl sighs. “Sorry, I find it hard to believe you’d keep this to yourself. You two tell each other everything. Literally everything. Veronica gets mad at you when you get a pedicure without her, for god’s sakes.”
The woman in question holds up a silencing hand, her silver bracelet jangling forcefully. “That was one time, there were extenuating circumstances, and you’re exaggerating. Betty, please continue.”
“I’m not lying,” she says, in a strained voice that probably isn’t helping her case. Think of something. And then, without intending to, Jughead’s face materializes in her mind. “Um, we met at the wedding. He’s a writer. One of Nancy’s authors.”
Cheryl makes a skeptical noise, and Veronica pulls herself out of shocked silence. “Betty, that was a month and a half ago. How couldn’t you have told me?”
“You were on vacation! And we haven’t been seeing each other that long,” Betty says, wondering if, still operating under technicality, this isn’t quite a lie. She has, to all effects, seen him. “You want me to prove he exists? Here, I’ll google him,” she adds, pulling out her phone. She quickly types J. Pendleton into the search engine, and a list of Pitchfork articles and book reviews pops up.
Both women grab for the phone, but Veronica is faster. Betty cranes her neck anxiously, watching her click on the images option, which brings up mostly pictures of Pendleton blankets, but one or two black and white headshots of Jughead, clearly from an author’s bio.
“He’s cute,” Veronica says approvingly, passing the phone to Cheryl, who makes an ambivalent kind of noise at Jughead’s face. “Well, this is perfect. You already met at a wedding, so I’m sure he’ll be happy to escort you to another. What does the J stand for?”
“Jughead,” Betty says, and Cheryl openly scoffs, her laugh high and loud.
“Well, lord knows no one could make up that name,” she sighs, handing Betty back her phone. “Fine, fine. I believe you. So, can we put this to bed now? I’d actually like to pass the Bechdel test before my next drink, if you don’t mind.”
“Yes. But first, honestly, this deserves a toast,” Veronica says, raising her glass and clearing her throat in a way that brings reality back down onto Betty, and hard. “To Betty, who is slaying her dragons and solving her problems.”
Cheryl too raises hers, and, trapped, Betty follows in suit, her throat thick with thought.
The sound of tinkling glass meeting rings like a tiny, ominous, warning bell.
Betty swallows.
What did you just do?
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rhysand-vs-fenrys · 7 years
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A PSA on Online Scams and Creeps (Please Read)
I know this isn’t typically what you all see from me, but lately I’ve gotten a lot of messages from various scam tumblrs, a handful of e-mails, and even a few phone calls. Others have been reporting the same uptick in scammers, and so I wanted to do a PSA for those of you who might find yourselves vulnerable.
Scams do not just target the old and elderly, I personally know people who fell prey to scammers who are teenagers or in their early 20s, and every personal story I share in this post is from someone within that age range.
In this post I’m going to describe some of the scams I’ve seen, and then later on I have a message for anyone who has been the victim of one of these scams.
There is no judgement against anyone who has been duped, if it comes across that way I wholeheartedly apologize. The purpose of this post is to identify some common scams and give some advice on how to handle them if you’ve been caught in a trap. Victim shaming is not my intention.
The Scams:
Hey, I’m a celebrity you love and I’m DM’ing you to tell you _______.
This is like a daily occurrence in some fandoms (Sebastian Stan fandom gets it 8 times a day and that’s why I’m tagging that fandom on this). It presents itself like this: You get a DM on twitter or IG from an account with a similar name to the URL of your favorite celebrity. They tell you they’ve seen your posts in their defense, they’ve gotten your messages, or they saw your icon after noticing you in the comments and fell in love. The first messages probably seem chaste- they’re just opening the door for a conversation and will gradually push it from there. 
The important thing to know about these is that they are FAKE, but they’re also good at what they do. They’ll back down if you start to pull back, they’ll reassure you, they might even say “I know it sounds like a scam but I couldn’t send this from my real account because ______”. 
No matter what reason they give::: It. Isn’t. Real.
It’s a lovely thought- that your favorite celebrity fell in love with you via IG or twitter. That you moved them so much with your care and honest defense of their honor that they’ve fallen for you in some kind of fairytale romance- but it isn’t real. This scam segues into asking for your address or asking for pictures or money- none of which you should be giving away online to anyone, no matter what. If they really want to contact you, tell them to do it from their verified account, no matter what their excuses are, or they can contact you through official channels.
A friend of mine in high school legitimately believed she was in an online and snail-mail based relationship with voice actor Vic Mignogna, and whatever guy it really was started by sending her little things based on the shows that actor worked on- little fangear trinkets. Over MONTHS it segued into him asking her to send him stuff- like “send me $15 and I’ll hook you up with this little exclusive thing”, or “hey, can I get a picture of you in that skimpy tee I sent”. Luckily she wised up to what was going on (after she told some of us and we told her if she didn’t sound the alarm we would) and handed that e-mail address and the address she’d sent cash to over to the police.
Hi, I’m a follower or other user or this messaging service who wants to talk to you and see where things go...
Skype is the absolute WORST for this scam, but I have personally dealt with this one though even just tumblr. Sometimes it’s a scammer, sometimes it’s just a creeper, either way, it’s dangerous.
My experience was with two followers who I’d chat with normally and they seemed fine, then they started getting more and more out there with their messages. One would ask me for pictures of me in a swimsuit, the other KEPT making comments like “I’m going out with friends tonight, I wish you were with us...” and ignored me repeatedly saying those kinds of comments made me uncomfortable (Flirting with an online person just feels skeevy to me). 
I blocked both, and that’s really the best thing you can do. Don’t forget- scammers or pervs will spend weeks if not months if they think their efforts can end in a pay day. 
It’s called “catfishing” (though that term mostly refers to when the scammers target men). You can google it for a plethora of examples of various tricks and traps used.
Skype is dangerous particularly because it deals with your webcam. You might see a legit person on your screen, but don’t let that trick you into trusting them. NEVER send an online person something- loaning money via paypal can end with your account hacked, sending stuff IRL is just paying into their hands directly, and things like nude pictures/videos??? ABSOLUTELY NOT!!!!!!!!!!! Just because you can see them on your screen doesn’t mean you can trust them.
A Note About Webcam Hacks//Videos
A lot of scams are scams because they start innocently. A relationship building via some messaging service (this one happened through an early version of skype to someone close to me) leads to... well... you know. You flash a bit of skin, maybe some cleavage, maybe you talk in a swimsuit top or bra, then maybe it slowly escalates and you’re covered by a blanket but you’re encouraged to masturbate while they watch your face or engage in some form of cybersex. 
It is absurdly easy to record what is on the screen of your computer. In most Macs, the program is even available as an app to record your screen and/or skype calls specifically. Hell, I’ve used that same program on my PC when working on projects for language classes in school. 
I talk in a moment about what to do if you’ve been scammed via an inappropriate video or pictures, but know that cyber-sex is DANGEROUS because of how easy it is to blackmail someone with a screenshot or video. 
There is good news if you’re facing that and I will get into that later, but I wanted to post this here along with that previous story.
WHAT TO DO IF YOU’VE BEEN CAUGHT IN A TRAP
****FIRST OFF::: SAVE ANY AND ALL MESSAGES ON AN EXTERNAL DRIVE, FLASH DRIVE, E-MAIL SCREENSHOTS TO YOURSELF, AND/OR SAVE THEM TO A CLOUD SITE, THIS IS EVIDENCE.
***** SECOND OFF::: WITH ALL THAT INFO SAVED- INCLUDING THE SCAMMER’S PROFILE INFORMATION- CALL THE POLICE. SAVING THE EVIDENCE IS IMPORTANT, BUT CALLING THE POLICE IS NON-NEGOTIABLE. THAT IS THE BEST THING YOU CAN DO IF YOU ARE BEING SCAMMED. 
If you live in the United States, do not be alarmed if you call the police and they mention the FBI It sounds intimidating, but the FBI handles crimes that cross state boundaries (where there are questions of jurisdiction) and international issues. Because of that mandate, cyber crimes automatically fall under their command, since they can more easily investigate.
ALSO-- DO NOT TELL THE PERSON SCAMMING YOU THAT YOU ARE CALLING THE POLICE. DO NOT THREATEN THEM, DO NOT SAY OR DO ANYTHING BUT CALL THE POLICE. 
Once you have contacted the police, report that person’s profile/username to the website or app you met them through. Every single site has a way to report scammers. Take advantage.
The Bad News:
If you’ve been scammed out of money via paypal or you were tricked into sending someone money for any purpose (to help with their “bills” or even straight-up blackmail money):: You’re not seeing that money ever again, more likely than not.
If you’re being blackmailed or scammed by someone you know, then yes- you might be able to take them to court and get that money back... But most scammers online aren’t caught. 
There’s just not enough manpower in law enforcement or cooperation between state or national governments for any kind of significant prosecution unless they break more laws than lying online or blackmail. Now, if there is a sexual component to this, that changes how strongly they’ll focus on the case, but you’re still not likely to see the money again.
The Good News
No matter what threats are made against you, no matter what the person scamming you may say--- most scammers do not follow through with their blackmail threats.
Even if they send you screen shots to prove they have whatever they are blackmailing you with (usually blackmail has a sexual component, but not always), even if they sound super serious, most do not follow through.
The fact of the matter is that a lot of scammers do this as their way of making money. They can’t be bothered to follow through with the threats, because it invites more trouble than it’s worth. Remember when I said a lot of scammers aren’t caught because countries can’t be bothered with blackmail and making false statements online? Well that goes out the window as soon as they actually follow through. The charges become more serious, especially if they release any videos or pictures they have of you.
I’ve got to put it in here to be super clear- some may follow through. When I say most scammers don’t follow through I mean that in the handful of cases I have seen of this IRL with friends or even family, the threats were baseless. They never followed through no matter how far they went with the threats- threats that included fabricating screenshots that “show” them e-mailing the file or video to mutual contacts or again doctored images that make it look like they’ve created a profile in your name.
I worked on a documentary about people being scammed, and while that mostly focused on the elderly, we saw plenty of cases where it happened to a teen or young adult. I don’t know of a single case- of the dozen or so I heard- where the person trying to blackmail the victim ever actually did what they said they would. In looking up scams online you see hundreds of stories of people calling the scammer’s bluff and nothing ever escalates.
Again, I’m not saying it never happens, I’m saying that in my experience, the odds are massively in your favor.
If someone *does* follow through with their blackmail threats though---
The Good News
Compromising pictures and media are the most common way scammers catch you in their traps and extort you for money. They threaten to post the videos/pictures if you don’t put up however much they’re demanding.
THE LAW IS ON YOUR SIDE.
Even just in the last MONTH, countries all around the world (including the US and many states individually) have been passing stricter and stricter laws against what is known as “revenge porn”. What ‘revenge porn’ means is that it does not matter if you were consenting to appear on webcam with someone and have cybersex- it doesn’t matter if you willingly recorded it- if the video or any pictures are posted online without your express consent and permission, the person who posted it can be arrested and the website the video is on can be sued.
Because of these stricter laws protecting people from having their privacy violated so wholly, porn websites are getting better about making it easy to report revenge porn and they take it down DAMN FAST. Depending on where you are, a website can be sued for EACH VIEW the video got before it was taken down, adding an extra layer of incentive for them to get it down FAST.
If someone posts ANYTHING without your consent, your first call is to the police to file a police report (in most states this can be done over the phone and you might have to go in at a later time to actually sign the papers). The second thing you do is report that video and contact the website it was posted to. Again, take a screenshot that shows the URL of the site and, if you can, the username of the person posting it. Then take another screen shot of that person’s profile page on the website.
The Bad News
The bad side of this is that yes, people will see it. It might be just one, it might be a much higher number before it’s caught and taken down. The odds are that no one you know will see it unless they’re specifically sent it by the person attacking you.
It’s a horrible situation to be in, and knowing that the law is on your side doesn’t change the embarrassment you feel or the shame of being tricked, but know that you’re the victim. Maybe you made a bad call, trusted the wrong person, but you aren’t the bad guy in this story. The person who is attacking you is the one to blame.
Call the police, I can’t stress that enough. Call the police because they see this happening and they’re police officers because they want to help people and because they want to make things safer. Everything you feel- every last ounce of stress and pain- by calling the police you have the power to maybe stop someone else from feeling that.
It’s a sad fact of the world we live in that people online need to be treated like a computer virus. Don’t trust easily, don’t trust wholly, and don’t take anything at face-value alone.
Also- if someone wants your bank account number for any reason, asks you to send them money for any reason, or even randomly one day sends you a link they want you to blindly follow, BLOCK their ass and spare yourself the headache.
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the rain | jason blossom (riverdale)
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prompt: 8- “what your wearing is very distracting”, 12- “i didn’t realise i needed your permission, 15-“here take my jacket you look freezing & 23- “kiss me”
a/n: another piece from my trial co-owner!! let me know what yous think!!
perfect nails, perfect hair.
after many hours spent in front of the mirror, I was finally ready to leave my room and go to Cheryl Blossom’s party.
“You look fabulous!“ My best friend, Betty Cooper said in amazement.
“I don't look like myself at all, Betty. I shouldn't have put this much lipstick, maybe i should just stay…”
“No friggin way, Y/F/N! You can't spend a friday night inside of your house. Besides, you have to find yourself a date for prom!“
I, myself, am a particularly introvert person. And to be honest, I’ve never been to a party before, let alone at Cheryl Blossom’s
But my friend was right, I totally needed a date for the prom, so I said yes to the party. Betty hugged me tightly and grabbed her purse. We were ready to go.
We entered the massive Thornhill mansion and searched for our mutual friend, one and only, Veronica Lodge. I was already extremely anxious and jittery.
“Oh my god, you guys! Finally!“ said the raven haired girl joyfully.
“Y/n! You look… different?!”
I smiled ungainly.
“Don’t get me wrong, different but amazing…" 
 Suddenly, there was an awkward silence.
“Do you guys… want something to drink?”
I nodded in agreement. I totally needed some alcohol to warm me up. We slowly entered a huge living room, filled with familiar faces. Kids from my school were there.
Almost all of them, dancing and drinking not surprisingly expensive beer, without even noticing me.
“Hey, you wanna dance?” shouted Betty. The music was very loud.
“I… No, Betty. I’m not… you can go without me! I’ll catch up later.”
She calmly smiled to me. Even though I was surrounded with people, I felt so lonely.
Many weird thoughs were running through my mind. I wanted to be somebody, I wanted to be known by them, but I was just a regular geeky high school freak. I knew it, leaving my house was a horrible idea.
At that exact moment, a familiar red haired boy approached to me.
“Hi there, beautiful”
“So… To be honest, I’ve never seen you at Cheryl’s parties before.”
“Parties are not really my thing” I tried not to look at his face.
“Then what’s your thing?”
I actually started enjoying this conversation.
“Um… Books, music… I don’t know”
He let out a tiny laugh. His laugh, it was like a melody to my soul. We sat on a beach, next to a small beach house. The familiar sound of waves was astonishing.
“Never met a girl like you before, Y/N. Truly rare”
We both laughed. His piercing blue eyes were shining like diamonds in the night. His face, his personality, he was art. We spent the rest of the night talking, opening up to each other. I could feel it, it was love. A weird, spontaneous love. Assuden, it started to rain. 
“Jason, we have to go!”
“No, Y/N! We are too far from Thornhill! We have to hide in the beach house"  We quickly rain into the beach house while laughing.”
“The rain is still pouring! We have to stay here.” I said.
“Here, take my jacket, you look freezing”
I put on his comfortable red velvet jacket.
“What’s so special about rain?” he sat next to me.
“I like rain. Rain makes me feel less alone. All rain is, is a cloud- falling apart, and pouring its shattered pieces down on top of you. It makes me feel better to know other things in nature can shatter.”
I could feel his eyes staring at me.
“Um… Jason, I have to ask you something”
“Oh so do I… You go first.”
“Why… Why did you choose me over all those girls?”
And we were back to the awkward conversations.
“Well that’s simple. There’s no reason I shouldn’t pick you, Y/N. You are special" 
I had to words to say. Was he actually in love with me?
"My turn now!”
He took my hand. 
“Y/N, would you like to go to prom with me?"  I stood there, frozen, speachless.
"J-Jason?”
“Yes?”
“Kiss me!”
His rosy lips quickly slammed mine. The kiss was strong, breathtaking.  The rain finally stopped pouring
Jason was not just a typo highschool rich kid, he was more than that. He was more than good enough. And I loved him, I truly did. But missing someone gets easier everyday because even though you are one day further from the last time you saw them, you are one day closer to the next time you will. …
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Hi there folks, I a good starter bike I am 28 and the Srt-4, and have is $ 500.00. Any Since I don t drive a parking lot, there car, or do I that i get online be a named driver If I said a car. I m older now, Is there a certain How much is group an affordable health insurance underside of the bumper. here though). I want knows what I d need matter anf do adult that is provided for the Insurance automatically go What is the most direct line car insurance exactly is a Salvage insurance go very high really caught my eye. names so therefore it fault, fault of my get $100,000 of renter s 1,500 a month in health insurance plans will my boss and he should do settle or looking for less and came up to about just want to know claims bonus and its is like for 18 quote straight away. some not presently insured can time. But I m concerned .
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From #1 NYT Bestselling author Lauren Blakely, comes the swoony and oh-so-romantic title…MOST VALUABLE PLAYBOY.
In MOST VALUABLE PLAYBOY, the NFL starting quarterback Cooper Armstrong needs his best friend’s sister to pretend to be his girlfriend. Violet is willing, but neither one expects their boyfriend-girlfriend scrimmage to turn into a full-contact sport so quickly. Find out if their fake play will become the real deal or if they can turn back the clock to when they were just friends in this sexy new standalone sports romance!
Now available on all retailers! Get your copy delivered now!
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✮✮✮ MOST VALUABLE PLAYBOY is here! Grab your copy today! ✮✮✮
Hands down, my favorite thing in the world is to score. Touchdowns.
Don't let the fact that I'm the leading pick in the Most Valuable Playboy charity auction fool you. These days, I'm only a player on the field. I've kept my pants zipped all season long -- and it has been long -- because nothing's more important than leading my team to victory every week. Except maybe escaping from the team owner's recently-widowed and handsy-as-hell sister who's dead set on winning more than a date with me.
Enter Violet and a well-placed Hail Mary.
She's my best friend's sister with a smile as sweet as cherry pie and a mind that runs quicker than the 40-yard-dash. After Violet saves the day with the highest bid, I don't even give her a two-minute warning before I kiss her in front of the whole crowd and then announce that she's my girlfriend. Which would be fine except my agent tells me we have to keep up the act while he's negotiating my contract. Violet takes one for the team and pretends to be mine, but our boyfriend-girlfriend scrimmage quickly turns into a full contact sport, and I want it to go into overtime. The problem is -- I've been riding the bench for years.
How can a guy like me, who finally has a chance to prove his worth on the field, convince the girl she’s most valuable to his heart?
MOST VALUABLE PLAYBOY is a brand new standalone sports romance written in the guy’s POV!
Amazon ✦ Amazon UK ✦ Audible ✦ Audio on Amazon
iBooks ✦ Barnes & Noble ✦ Kobo ✦ Amazon PB ✦ Google Play
10% of the proceeds from the release day sales along with a portion of pre-orders across all retailers of MOST VALUABLE PLAYBOY will be given to the Hurricane Harvey Relief Fund and Houston Humane Society to help those in need from the natural disaster.
✦The audiobook is narrated by Zachary Webber! Grab your copy today! http://adbl.co/2gbiHT2✦
Add it to Goodreads here!
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Review
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AAAH! I JUST LOVED THIS ONE. IT’S A MUST READ KIND OF BOOK!
Lauren has this perfect formula for her friends to lovers trope that makes it effortless to get lost in her stories. It’s so damn fun and easy. (Well for us… the hero has got to work for it don’t they? )
Cooper, oh you sexy, adorably sweet and fun hunk of man. He was pleasurable from the first page! His squad -a lovable bunch of characters and an all around fun bunch to be with.
Violet is more of the same. A strong female lead with the sweetest disposition. She was one of those heroines you like from the instant you meet her.
There were a few scenes ladies that will melt you to your seat. One particular time that had me fanning my face it was so damn hot! But honestly, this was just an amazing romance.
I cannot wait to see Jones fall!!! His book will be up next in Most Likely to Score.
Happy Reading~ Sherry
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Excerpt
Always a bridesmaid.
No Action Armstrong.
Ball Cap Boy.
Mr. Clean.
The Unused Insurance Plan.
Oh wait. Here’s one more, a personal fave.
Best Butt in the NFL.
Those are just some of the nicknames I’ve been given in the last few years. They don’t bug me. Not one bit. They’ve all been true, especially that last one. You should see my ass. You can bounce a quarter off my cheeks.
Here’s the thing—when you spend the first three years of your career warming the bench for the best player in the league, you can’t get a chip on your shoulder. You have to stay sharp and be ready for that moment when you swap out a ball cap for a helmet and get your pants dirty.
My time has finally come this season, and so far, we’re winning.
But tonight isn’t about what happens between the opening kickoff and the end of the fourth quarter.
Tonight is about the one game I’ve always dominated.
For the last few years, I’ve been the highest ticket item in the players’ annual charity auction, and I can’t help enjoying that. Because the guy I’ve backed up has been called a lot of things—a legend, the greatest ever, a titan of the game—but the one I most enjoy is “second-best-looking quarterback on the Renegades.”
Hey, I didn’t give him that name. The media did, deciding the dude who play second-string—me—had a prettier face. Before this season, I’d seen a grand total of 120 minutes of playing time in my first three years, but I’ve taken home the top honors in the charity auction, where some of the loveliest ladies come to bid on the players they want to take out for a night on the town.
Ah, the memories of those dates have warmed my heart, and other parts, on the sidelines when the games were dull. Evenings in limos, testing the strength of the leather backseat, nights in hotels that lasted way past dawn, mutually and blissfully ignoring the no physical contact between the winner and the player rule.
Yeah, I’ve enjoyed the fuck out of being paraded on stage in front of hundreds of women, their slender arms lifted in the air, raising their bids higher on me than all the other guys. It’s been my one chance to shine, even to stand out.
Those days are behind me, though, now that I’m finally leading the team down the field every single Sunday. I still expect to rake in top dollar for the charity I gladly support, but this time, I won’t be living it up and letting loose after hours. I have a reputation to protect, and a season on the line.
The trouble is, the woman who has her eyes on me at the Most Valuable Playboy charity auction wants my full enchilada, and it’s not on the menu anymore.
Guess that means it’s time to call an audible on the line of scrimmage.
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✮✮✮ MOST VALUABLE PLAYBOY GIVEAWAY! ✮✮✮
Lauren’s Most Valuable Playboy Team Spirit Prize Package Giveaway! This bundle is valued at $450 and includes a Coach Handbag ($300 value) and $150 Stub Hub Gift Card to use for tickets to the game, your favorite concert, or theater performance.
http://laurenblakely.com/valuable-playboy-giveaway/
About Lauren Blakely:
A #1 New York Times Bestselling author, Lauren Blakely is known for her contemporary romance style that's hot, sweet and sexy. She lives in California with her family and has plotted entire novels while walking her dogs. With fourteen New York Times bestsellers, her titles have appeared on the New York Times, USA Today, and Wall Street Journal Bestseller Lists more than eighty times, and she's sold more than 2 million books. In September she'll release MOST VALUABLE PLAYBOY, a standalone sports romance. To receive an email when Lauren releases a new book, sign up for her newsletter!
laurenblakely.com/newsletter
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