in honor of 10 years of welcome to night vale
[ID: A grayscale WTNV comic. Cecil’s narration floats over panels, bolded here and also placed at the end in a solid paragraph. He is a tall, thin white man with an eye on his forehead and two below his eyes. Cecil looks scared or surprised as he stands against a white background with a narrow black strip behind him. A tapping noise sounds out as Cecil, back now facing the viewer, looks through a thin white strip between a black background. He says, “My existence - is not unlike a tomb.”
Cecil moves forward with an upset expression, indistinct black rising and twisting around him. From the black, the white outline of a three-eyed tall and thin person outlined puts their hands on his shoulders, startling him. Then the black recedes when the Cecil from the Narrow Place collapses onto Cecil, who looks upset. “Every choice I never got to make - resides with me.”
“I lost agency-” A panel of multiple silhouettes--one with two eyes, one with three, and one with five like Cecil’s. Then a low angle looking up at the NVCR radio tower as speech bubbles asks, “Who are you? How did you get here?” Cecil supports the other Cecil through the streets, who is sketchy and clad in dark clothes. Cecil looks up with apprehension at the radio tower as the sick-looking other Cecil clings to him and radiates black. “- The moment I left the womb.”
“I don’t know if I’ll ever come to terms-” A series of panels: Cecil and Abby talking with sad, resigned expressions at a dinner table with a third plate set out for their absent mother. A close-up of Cecil’s torso as he holds papers with an intern badge on his shirt. A barn owl looking at the viewer against a black background. A hand clinging from below to a bathroom sink, above which is a broken mirror that has dropped shards into the sink. A case of Cat Ballou held in front of a DVR. A cockroach with “Huntokar” written on it. A hand withdrawing a paper from an envelope that says “Lot 37.” “-With this path-”
Cecil’s hand pushes the door to the recording booth. A view of the booth is shown, and Cecil leads the deteriorating other Cecil in to sit. The other Cecil says, “Carlos. Carlos? Carlos!” as he turns into starker, smudgier black streaks. Cecil looks at him with sorrow and sympathy, then withdraws his hands when the other Cecil disappears when they reach the chair. “That I’ve been forced down.”
“But I do know two things.” A view of the crescent moon shining. Then Cecil unlocks the door to his house, and a frowning Carlos notices a “thunk” from behind him. Carlos is a short, muscular brown man with long hair. He turns on the couch and calls, “Cecil? Is that you?” Cecil strides past him with clenched fists, face not in view, and Carlos stands and asks, “Ceec?”
Carlos peers nervously around a wall as Cecil looks into a dark room with a frown and crossed arms. A dim view of a sleeping Esteban, a young brown child in bed. Cecil’s clenched fist trembles. “I have them-” Carlos puts his hands over his chest, a soft smile on his face, and then moves behind Cecil, shown through their torsos and Carlos’ hand reaching for Cecil. Cecil smiles gratefully as he leans back, and Carlos looks at him with a gentle smile and says, “I’m here if you need me.” “- And they have me.”
The full narration reads: “My existence is not unlike a tomb. Every choice I never got to make resides with me. I lost agency the moment I left the womb. I don’t know if I’ll ever come to terms with this path that I’ve been forced down. But I do know two things. I have them, and they have me.” End ID]
ID lovingly created by: @princess-of-purple-prose
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HEY THIS IS THE FIRST CHAPTER OF MY WIP “The Fall of the Raven”
TW: mental health fuckery, su1c1d3 mentions (please read safely i promise it gets less sad later on)
tagging @niallermybabe bc ik you were interested :]
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The Beginning
For once, or the hundredth time, it was in fact a dark and stormy night. The thunder rolled and rumbled in the dark sky, lighting illuminating the Earth for a second before vanishing. Revon listened to the hard pattering of the rain on the roof. Staring out into the night they wondered what they were doing here. A voice called after them but they didn’t hear what it said.
The pain will end. The pain will end. The pain will end. The voice echoed around the walls of their mind. A firm hand gripped their wrist, forcing them to face the figure.
“Excuse me Mx, it’s just- it looks like you’re about to jump. I wanted to make sure everything’s alright.” It was dark enough that Revon felt no need to study the figures' features. The grip on their wrist loosened and they were gently pulled from the ledge. The top level of the parking garage was high enough, they figured.
“Everything’s dandy.” They snapped, tearing their arm back. The figure calmly stepped back.
“Do you have a ride home? Or someone to call? It’s not smart to drive in your condition.” Revon gritted their teeth at the condescending tone. Instinctively their hand flew to their knife, and their knife at the figure’s chest.
“Mind your own damn business and we won’t have any more issues.” They growled. Surprisingly calm, the figure lowered Revon’s knife and cleared their throat.
“Seriously Rey, not your best move.” Upon hearing their nickname the voice of the figure was familiar. Revon groaned.
“Jesus Christ, Lukas. Why are you here?” They put their knife away. Lukas chuckled.
“Well, I’ve been coming here every night. For my own reasons of course but also because this is your fourth suicide attempt in the last month and someone needs to care about you.” He said, smugly. Revon’s jaw clenched up again but they knew better than to draw their knife on Lukas purposefully.
“I don’t need to be cared about. I can handle myself just fine.”
“Not if you’re lying dead in front of the parking garage. Don’t argue with me Rey you’ll never win. Let’s go.” They silently obliged, fists clenched at their sides as they followed Lukas to his car.
“What about my car?” Revon asked, hoping Lukas would realize they drove themself here and let them go. Another tension filled car ride with Lukas was the last thing they needed right now.
“I’ll drop you back here tomorrow morning. You’re coming back with me. Now get in the car.” He passive aggressively opened the passenger door and they angrily plopped down. Lukas started up the car and the vibrations rumbled in Revon’s core. The drive to Lukas’ was familiar, even while the city was blanketed in the dark of night. It didn’t take long to get there but time passed slower in the car.
“Home sweet home!” Lukas sang as they pulled into his driveway. Revon rolled their eyes and slithered to the guest room, slamming the door. Crawling onto the bed, shoes still on, they fell asleep.
A knock came at the door causing Revon to jolt awake. Danger. The person behind the door is dangerous Revon. Grab your weapons. They reached for their knife. Slowly slinking toward the door they assumed their position. The door swung open and Revon thrust the knife at the person behind it. Lukas ducked down and dropped the mug in his hand.
“Good morning to you too, Revon.” He groaned. Revon put their knife back away and stepped back.
“Yeah yeah, just take me back to my car.” They ordered, stepping around him and the mess on the floor.
“Chill dude, now I need to clean up the coffee I so graciously made for you.” Lukas grabbed paper towels and the broom, slowly cleaning up the spill. Revon anxiously tapped their foot, itching to get out and back home. When Lukas finally finished Revon nearly ran to his car.
“What’s the rush hm?” He asked smugly. Revon angrily cracked their neck, trying to avoid another fight with him. It never ended well.
“I just want to get back to my goddamned car okay?” They practically growled.
“Alright whatever dude. Don’t pop that vein in your forehead.” He laughed which made Revon more pissed off. Lukas took everything too seriously but covered it up with a laugh and a joke. The air in the car was thick with anxious anticipation. Lukas slowly circled all the way to the top of the parking garage, parking next to Revon’s car. They leaped out, slamming the door without another word.
Revon drove off, Lukas didn’t follow. They clenched their hands around the steering wheel. It’s a good thing he didn’t try to follow them. Despite his stupid sarcasm and shit attitude Lukas cared a lot about Revon. They knew he really had gone up there every night. He knew them well, and he was genuinely scared for them. It’s not like it’s the first time Revon had gone through a spell like this, it happens a lot actually.
Revon and Lukas met at camp. It was a summer camp for troubled kids. Revon was forced to go by the state after they had been arrested at fourteen. Revon had beat up a kid at school, and ended up breaking their ribs. It punctured the kid's lungs and he died, they didn’t necessarily mean to kill him. Lukas was there for petty theft, going to camp was an alternative to community service once school started. Revon isolated themself and Lukas was appointed by the counselors to talk to them. They hated each other at first but one day Lukas found Revon by the lake, they made a truce after he offered them a cigarette. They never really split up after that.
Before they knew it, Revon was home. Their hands ached from gripping the steering wheel so tight and they cracked their knuckles. Calmly, they walked into the building. Susan, who works the front desk, looked up over her glasses.
“You didn’t come back last night dear, you know I have to alert parole correct?” Revon just grunted in response and stomped up the stairs to their apartment. Their neighbor, Lindsay, was smoking outside in the hall.
“Good going, your officer is already here.” She warned, pointing toward Revon’s door.
“It wasn’t a choice, I was taken.” Revon stated blankly. Lindsay’s eyes went wide.
“Really? What-”
“My… acquaintance. He uh- found me last night and insisted I went with him.” They corrected, not sure why they wanted her to worry.
“Oh, well, don’t get yourself hurt, Revon.” She put her cigarette out on the wall and went back into her apartment. Revon tried to shake the conversation away and unlocked their door. Their parole officer was lounging at their kitchen table.
“Hello there Revon, take a seat and tell me where you were last night.” Revon complied, of all of the parole officers they had, they liked Officer Santez the most. She was scary, took no shit and striked a compelling fear in them.
“I went to the parking garage.” They replied. Santez immediately rubbed her temples in frustration.
“Been taking your meds? I know for a fact you haven’t missed counseling because I take you there myself.”
“Yeah I’ve been taking my meds. Sometimes, the voices win Santez.” They spat. Santez glared at them and they cowered, lowering slightly in their seat. “Lukas found me again, he just didn’t want me driving this time. I was at his place, you can call and ask if you feel so compelled.” Revon said, softly.
“Well, I believe you. Lukas is a good friend, I hope you know how lucky you are to have him.” Officer Santez loosened up, she always likes when Lukas comes up. It’s the one thing Revon hates about her.
“He’s not my friend.”
“Remind me again, how long you’ve known him?”
“Uhm…” Revon counted on their fingers. “Eight years.” They muttered.
“And how many times has he found and saved your life?” Officer Santez asked, rhetorically.
“Every time.” Revon slumped lower in their seat.
“Sounds an awful lot like friendship.”
“I don’t make friends.” Revon rolled their eyes. Friendships meant caring about other people. They lost that ability at a young age.
“What about that poor girl Lindsay next door? Every time I get here she’s anxiously smoking and always asks me if you’re okay.” Santez smirked. Revon stopped, their blood running cold. What? It had to be a lie, no one cares about Revon just like Revon doesn’t care about anyone.
“You’re lying. No one gives a shit.”
“Well this is running in circles and I don’t have time for this shit. You didn’t die or break any laws so my work here is done. Take care of yourself Revon, soon you may not have anyone who will do that for you.” With that, Officer Santez left. Revon heaved a sigh of relief. Things always got all mushy gushy and they weren’t in the mood for that today.
Their day was as usual, they sat around until dinner time, ate a half assed meal, showered and went to bed. Laying in the dark of their bedroom Revon’s mind wouldn’t quiet down.
All of what Officer Santez said this morning is true Revon. Lukas and Lindsay both care for you. What would they do if you killed yourself? Lukas wouldn’t be able to live with himself, Lindsay would probably start drinking and ruin her sobriety streak. It would be all your fault. You’re so selfish.
Unable to fall asleep with the never ending guilt trip in their head, Revon stepped onto their balcony. Next door, Lindsay was smoking.
“Evening.” She muttered to them.
“Why do you smoke?” They asked bluntly. Lindsay exhaled a puff of smoke out of her mouth slowly.
“It’s a good stress reliever. Want one?” She reached over the balcony, Revon took it and lit it with the lighter they left next to the door.
“Officer Santez was all mushy again today.” Revon sighed. Lindsay chuckled.
“What now?” She was used to Revon’s late night shenanigans by this point, they’ve been neighbors for four years. Revon hesitated, not sure how much of the conversation to share. They realized they don’t actually care.
“Oh the usual, how lucky I am to have Lukas as a friend. She did have more to say though. I tried to convince her I don’t have friends but she told me I do. Not only Lukas who has been there to save my life every time for eight years but also…you.” At that, Lindsay raised her eyebrow and lit another cigarette.
“Why does she say that?” Her hand seemed to be a bit shaky but Revon didn’t care to question it.
“Apparently every morning she’s had to check in, you’re out in the hall, stress smoking and asks where I am and if I’m okay.” Revon looked over and Lindsay let out an exasperated puff of smoke.
“Well yeah Revon, suicides are hella common here and I never know if you’ve actually done it. I know you like to think you’re this stone cold bitch. Don’t get me wrong, you totally are but that doesn’t take away the imprint you leave on other people. I’ve been here, talking to you for four fucking years. I can’t imagine how horrible it is for Lukas either, he’s known you longer. Despite how much you hate it, people care about you, Revon.” Silence followed. Lindsay catching her breath and Revon processing what they just heard.
“No. No one can care about me. I don’t care about anyone else, that means no one can care back. Why care about someone who doesn’t care about you?” Revon said finally. Lindsay scoffed.
“Sometimes our brains are fucked up. Love isn’t conditional.” With that Lindsay left. She never leaves first. No one’s ever told Revon they loved them. Lindsay didn’t either, she really just made a statement poorly timed for the context of the conversation. Revon looked down at their phone, shaking slightly in their hand. They made a decision.
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