What if Marisha’s new character is actually just Keyleth. Like just for a few episodes. Just as a little treat. 

sometimes people will say “going dark” and then what they’re actually talking about is just people no longer presenting a carefully constructed version of their emotions and experiences.

like. emotional turmoil is not the same as darkness. laudna in this Fictional Universe that has tangibly different stakes wrt to death and killing than our own, is at best like . morally neutral for what she just did like. man has been secretly trying to kill you, and then just tried to do so again, killing him back is a fair choice. and even if i was someone who is excited by delilah’s inability to escape from the narrative, this shit isn’t about delilah. laudna made a choice. if delilah is back or whatever it’s a choice that laudna made because something in that grants her more control than her existing conditions did. this isn’t some Delilah Takes Over, it’s Laudna Expressly Makes The Choice To Call Forth Something within Herself to remedy the lack of control that’s been thrust upon her. if y’all want to Continue to limit Laudna’s agency (as the cr fandom is so, so want to do when a female character makes a choice that isn’t Good according to some weird system of virtue ethics) go ahead.

likewise with orym. little guy is not “going dark” because he has finally made direct action about his emotional turmoil in dealing with a situation which has similarly left him without control and has also placed him in a position where his stalwart conviction towards protecting and honouring those he loves and has lost alike is constantly met with other people he cares for going well.. what if they had a point/we are killing other peoples loved ones/etc. which like . yeah that might be frustrating and in fact might lead him to go, actually, i can’t afford to try and maintain some abject morality where I carry a locket that will literally only provide guilt. orym is completely committed to his beliefs, the locket and what it represents has never been a limit to what he will do, only a reminder of the consequences of what he might cause in those actions. but they Are at war and orym has a billion things on his plate. he can put down the locket. especially when bor’dor is the explicit manifestation of that locket’s symbolism. the subtext rapidly became the text and orym doesn’t need a reminder. it’s there in the fact that team issylra is walking away with two friends, not three.

these are character who have at every turn denied their own emotions in various forms while still being acutely aware of what they deny, whether that awareness was/is fully realized or not. many of laudna’s early convos with ashton show us that there is some awareness to the lighthearted spooky goth girl and how that persona fades when she thinks too much about what has led her and maintained that reality. likewise the entirety of orym’s story thus far is defined by his grief in a very literal sense, it Has extended from that grief to also the commitment he had to the purpose of figuring out the assassination attempt on keyleth but as we have seen, that purpose has fallen apart. paired with the quasi-reopening of his grief that was getting to see will again only to have to turn away, i don’t think there’s a lack of awareness in orym of how much he hurts. but between his actions and 4SD, that hurt tends to get buried under guilt or Responsibility.

and now, finally, both of them have admitted to that Not in the safety of small introspection or one-on-one conversations but with actions that they cannot shy away from or deny. laudna killed bor’dor and orym encouraged her to. and it Is a complex situation but truly I don’t really think it’s a “going dark” one. because they’re not giving into some overhanging Darkness of Morality™, they’re admitting that they are hurt and have long been hurting.

or, y’know, tldr for those who continue to deny laudna and orym agency or fully villainise them for whatever weird reasons . you could listen to laudna and ashton’s conversation that pretty much lays it out explicitly. laudna claims she’s weak for having chosen to kill bor’dor. ashton denies that and affirms instead that, no, she’s hurt.

Ashton Greymoore we need to work on your charisma because there's only so many times I can mentally yell "KISS HER GODDAMMIT" at the screen

Okay I've talked about the tragedy of Laudna now let's talk about the tragedy of Imogen.

It’s been a while, but her moment in the Feywild truth exercise where she says "I think I’m tainted. I don’t know if I want to save gods that don’t love me" has really stuck in my mind. The thing is, I don’t think she’s specifically talking about the gods here, but rather summing up and projecting her entire experience as a ruidusborn. She isn’t thinking "Why aren’t I the gods' special little princess? Why haven’t they come to save me specifically?? You better love me or I'll let you die" (which we have seen does seem to be a common attitude in the Vanguard) This is her fear of being against her own will tainted by something evil. Her fear that, despite knowing how wrong it is, part of her longs for the power and belonging that comes with giving in to Predathos. It’s knowing that this thing is the antithesis of the gods, and that no matter what she does and how much she opposes it, it is still part of her. And because of that, the world doesn’t love her. Her mother left, her father can barely look at her, her own body will betray her with feelings and powers she doesn't understand, her community ostracized her, her allies view her with suspicion, the gods will not lend a hand in their own rescue when she asks despite Imogen putting herself and her loved ones in danger for their sake.

And Imogen is tired. Tired of being the bigger person, tired of resisting. Logically she knows the gods don’t hate her specifically but it ads up, and as the lure of Predathos does promise love and belonging part of her wants to give in because why should she risk so much to save a world that has never once tried to save her.

And that’s where she, as well as Laudna, get so interesting. They have deeply sympathetic reasons for their doubts and flaws, as well as for why they value each other so much higher than the entirety of Exandria (tl;dr because they have only ever gotten genuine understanding and unconditional love from each other). But that doesn’t mean it isn't flaws. It doesn’t mean Imogen, if she hadn’t met Laudna and the Hells first and realized the harm the Vanguard is causing and that their promises are ultimately lies, couldn’t have been drawn in by the Vanguard's ideas. It doesn’t mean they aren't wrong in blaming gods for bad things in their own lives, or in demanding special treatment. But it’s deeply understandable, which is the very reason they and people like them're such excellent targets for the Vanguard to convert. And once in the Vanguard, it doesn’t matter how tragic and sympathetic you are, you are still doing evil.

Let's talk about ep 49 and the 8 min scene.

There is something that fellow shippers and haters miss. And maybe it's my background or because I'm old as fuck - details. Also: bear in mind that I'm still on 39 but love spoilers.

The entire 8 mins highlights empathy. Everyone before came with judgement and their own baggage and agenda. Not saying that what they were saying was wrong. Laudna however approaches it with understanding and no judgement whatsoever. (Not particularly certain that Imogen wanted to discuss the god eating god at that point but that's a discussion for another day). She acknowledges it's attractiveness, and basically does a thought experiment.

They dance around the subject of her potential death and potential consequences.

Laudna continues empathising and goes to the root of it. How Imogen basically wants a quiet life and how that's very much on the table.

She expands on choice. How it is in her hands.

Then conversation lulls. It could have ended here.

Instead Laudna, takes a different direction to one of vulnerability and openness and instead circles back to how they haven't talked much.

Laudna says: You'll always have me. I'll always be there to support you. No matter what you choose. And you don't have to make those choices alone.

Imogen breaks.

Those are words of unconditional love. Unconditional love is so rare and precious. Everyone around her wants something out of her. Laudna just tells her that she is not alone and that she is there, to share the burden.

Imogen has never experienced that. Not even from her parents. How much does she crave it? How much in particular did she want to hear that from Laudna?

And the better halves part. Was it done for shits and giggles? Yes. I also think there's more to it. Eight now Imogen is a bit all over the place. I think it's Laudna saying that right now she's willing to step up for Imogen and be her better half in terms of clarity and objectiveness, and the things they discussed.

Love needs boundaries and conversations. But not all need loud confrontations with ultimatums. Some need the other to take their hand, and say that they'll get through it together.

laudna calling “chetney, you look like you had something to say!” and chetney startling “ah!” and trying to climb and fresh cut grass saying “he’s climbing away from his problems.” 🤣

I'm so glad we're at the point of FCG's character arc where the cracks are starting to show enough that people are calling him out on his shit and he's starting to realize he DOESN'T know shit, a bit. I knew I would enjoy it more once we got past the first waves of true believer evangelicalness and it feels like we're there, now, and it grates me soooooo much less.

Ngl I suspect every single person who thinks VM wouldn’t want to res Laudna either hasn’t seen the first campaign at all, or hasn’t for a really long time

The fucking Guilt Patrol?

The same guys who Never let Keyleth live down accidentally killing a kid before they ever recorded the show?

They were fucking wrecked by how many innocent people were killed retaking Whitestone

The whole point of the Sun Tree was to horrify them with the representation of what the Briarwoods would do to Vox Machina, and that they killed innocent people to do it

Put a chance to restore the life of someone they failed in the hands of Professional Guilt Magnet Keyleth of the Air Ashari?

An extra way to flip Delilah off from beyond the grave by giving Laudna back her agency?

The people who EXPLICITLY KNOW Delilah is a necromancer and actual dead corpses are actually her most useful resource?

Nah, slam some Pelor up in there, lets consecrate this bitch while we’re at it and pee on Delilah’s grave

(Matt said that putting Laudna’s body in stasis prevented something from happening to it For A Reason)

Like yeah Vox Machina fucking hate Delilah Briarwood but it’s not like LAUDNA likes her either and they’re not going to blame the young woman THEY GOT KILLED when they can just go to the astral plane or wherever she is and kick Delilah’s ass directly

If nothing else, Laudna’s an excellent distraction while they hunt her down

when someone asks what the difference is between warlocks and clerics:

FCG HEAL OUR GIRLFRIEND

Man, the contrast of M9 getting Molly back in the form of Kingsley, versus BH potentially getting Laudna back in the form of Matilda? With tm9, Kingsley was quite possibly the kindest way they could have gotten any semblance of their friend back. It had been a year without him and none of his friends existed as he would have remembered them anymore, and he would have been faced with the struggle of trying to find his place in their group again, coming back a contrast to the person they built him up as while he was dead.

And furthermore, he came back into a time of newly-won peace, after they had managed to defeat the threats that had been building up since his death. They got him back specifically because of their success, and gave this fresh-memoried person a world ahead of them to reclaim themself the way molly never truly had. But Matilda? If the soul they pluck from the afterlife is the girl who died and stayed dead on the tree, instead of the one who spent 30 years living in the aftermath of it, they’re essentially dragging up a girl who has long-since been at rest, to thrust her into the deep end of the biggest threat any of them have ever faced, and inevitably expecting her to be able to swim and keep up. A girl who died without having any grasp of her powers, nor life experience beyond what she knew at the outskirts of the briarwood’s rule. Plucked up and dropped into a group of strangers who are dealing with some pretty intense grief, and the weight of the world on their shoulders. 

Laudna has, of course, gone through a lot. There’s no reality in which she isn’t deeply fucked up by what happened before, upon, and after this second death. Reckoning with the sudden loss of Delilah over her shoulders and what it means for her going forward is going to be a journey, but she’ll have her family by her side through all of it. She’ll have the knowledge she’s gained through 30 years of unliving and a grasp on what’s at stake in the world she’s coming back to. The world she seems to want to come back to, as shaken as she is.

If the soul they reach out to is Matilda, there’s no guarantee that anything they could say will appeal to a stranger that’s been dead and at rest for decades. And even if they do, i can’t help but feel like uprooting and forcing a soul they don’t know into a life/burden they have no way out of is also one of the crueler outcomes in all of this.

can i say something about this battle that might make some people hate me

I just caught up with ep 63 and I'm fucking vibrating. The difference of the Bor'dor reveal and the Dusk reveal! Dusk spending their entire time with the party stirring up drama, once caught out still openly provoking and trying to find an angle to straight up kill Fearne's parents, and the party still struggling to find every reason to let them go, let them live. And Dusk never gave a shit. Why would they! They were a fey assassin! And still the Hells fought and argued for them and let them walk away despite openly remaining a threat.

And then we get Bor'dor, wet paper tissue of a man, tragic backstory up to the gills, genuinely spending time to bond with them, having his little practice session with them being his proudest moment, sharing vulnerabilities. And though he drew first blood, he did it trying to run away, not kill! He did it having seen these people murder his friends and drag their dead bodies out of the hole! He was helpless on the ground, all but begging them to end him because he saw no reason to keep going! There was enough turmoil and doubt in him that he could probably have been deradicalized! He hated them but he loved them too!

And had this been early campaign, in all likelihood they would have let him live. But this is a Bell's Hells who have already been betrayed once by an ally, who lost Eshteross to the Ruby Vanguard, who lost half the fucking party to the Ruby Vanguard, who went on a grueling journey to get Laudna back, who struggled and struggled and still failed to stop Ludinus and ended up separated and scared and not knowing whether the world is about to end or not, whether their friends are alive or not.

And they were done. They did not fight for him. This is war. Were Dusk to show back up now, I doubt they’d survive the encounter.

laudna saying “I don’t know anymore what’s my opinion or desires or feelings… or hers.” has reduced me, a bitch living with debilitating ocd, to tears

watching this group fight is exhausting (in a great way)

ok 2 things

1) if i see ANY marisha hater say anything about being happy, it is ON SIGHT. dont try me demons.

2) Idk i disagree w everyones takes about raise dead/revivify/resurrection etc not working or bringing back a 20 year old laudna? like i think its clear either way that the spell will work- it would be hostile to players to not allow that, in a way matt just... doesnt seem to be. furthermore like... i didn't like the kingsley thing w/ molly and while i know its not 1:1 comparison I just do not want laudna to be a similar case at all. I want her to remember her friends, I want her to come back /as she was/. like it feels almost antithetical to her character for her to come back """fixed""" and without any connection or love for the people around her.