#he's tried to kill himself 3 times in the intervening years | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

emepe · 2 months

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— Pairing: Eren x Reader, friends to lovers

— General info: series, 18+, modern AU, serial killer AU, smut, fluff, angst, hurt/comfort

— Summary: Fate is a tricky thing. Certain situations can’t be avoided as much as certain people’s lives can’t be kept from intertwining. With a serial killer on the loose, and unexpected relationships blooming, how will the universe intervene?

— Chapter summary: A journal entry. Meanwhile, Armin does what he can to help Eren out.

— Content warnings: mentions of murder and torture of a woman, misogyny.

— Notes: Hello, hello! Thank you to everyone who liked and reblogged chapter 1 of this series. I really appreciate it <3 Happy reading, bubs!

Links: Read on AO3 | Chapter guide | Masterlist

just friends

September 8, 2024

There’s nothing I hate more than arrogant women. That’s why I had to kill her.

All I wanted was for her to smile at me. She wouldn’t. I filled her room with all her favorite things and even loosened her handcuffs. But she was so fucking hard-headed it drove me crazy. The little bitch even dared to spit at me. I had to teach her a lesson. I had to let out my anger somehow.

For a while, it was exciting to watch her writhe in pain. I can’t even begin to describe how thrilling it is to see how much a human can tolerate until they break. I told her it was compensation for the look she gave me the day we met. She kept lying and saying she didn’t even remember having bumped into me on the street.

I really wish she could’ve bounced back this time. I’m so lonely without her now. I miss her.

Humans are social by nature, it's what all the books say. When one is young, we need protection and love from our caregivers. As we grow, our world gradually expands and we bond with other people — friends from school, teachers, neighbors, coworkers. If one must stick to tradition, there's bound to be a romantic relationship to develop at some point. But for some people, that imposed path doesn't come naturally. Or rather, there have been blockages throughout the years that resulted in stunted social growth.

That's where you find yourself. It's not your fault. When one grows up forced to believe she's nothing but a burden, it's only natural to try to take up as little space as possible. But again, it's not your fault. One doesn't acquire those thoughts on their own.

You ruined my life!

As much as wellness and self-help gurus will preach there's a place in the world for everyone, self-awareness keeps you from blinding yourself toward the baggage you carry. It wouldn't be fair to lay that on anyone else.

So you've shrunk yourself. No making yourself seen, no making yourself heard. No talking outside of what is strictly necessary to survive. No inserting yourself into other's lives. For the most part, it's worked. Albeit, you've been deemed unlikable, weird, and rude. It's better this way. There's no use in putting yourself out there if there's so much to feel ashamed of. It's too much to trouble others with your pitiful self.

Who in the world would want to put up with you?

After the usual snarky murmurs and judgmental glances, you're rarely acknowledged save for when someone — usually a man — tries to “take a crack” at you and the whispers float in the air for another while. Other than that, you're at peace with yourself. You're almost convinced you've developed invisibility powers.

That is until Armin came along. At first, you sighed at the prospect of going over your routine yet again. Cementing boundaries and erasing any hope that it just takes the right guy to “loosen you up”. It was disgusting to have your quietness be misinterpreted for arrogance by the men at work. Even if that were the case, who was anybody to assume you needed to be knocked down a peg through sexual advances?

But Armin proved himself to be different. He tore away at your skepticism by simply being kind with no ulterior motives. Men can be so stupid. They'll believe a girl can't pick up when they're being slimy. It must've shocked them when you started having lunch with Armin more frequently.

It was thanks to him that you slowly expanded your world's limits. It was because of him that you began to question the voice that rang in your ears. After receiving the housewarming party invitation, you wondered whether to step forward or back. There was no denying Armin's expansion had awoken something in you. You wanted company — craved it — but you didn't want to risk bringing trouble into the group. What if Armin was an anomaly and the things that echoed in your head were true? Maybe Armin wasn't an anomaly at all, he just didn't know enough about you. You certainly didn't let him in enough.

In the end, your heart overruled your brain. You wanted more. With a hopeful heart, you went to the party.

A heavy sigh slips past your lips as you pick at your dinner on Sunday night. Your hair is still damp from the shower and it rests uncomfortably along your neck. Your phone lies next to your plate, buzzing every few seconds to match the texts that come into the group chat — arrangements are taking place for the next get-together with Armin and his friends.

After your moment of realization on the balcony, you faked a yawn and went back inside to pretend to fall asleep.

This morning, you avoided being alone with Eren. Not out of fear of something happening, but you needed to sort out your feelings on the situation.

There's no denying Eren is an attractive man — but that doesn't faze you.

Catching Eren's eye wasn't something you planned. Your world suddenly expanded outside of your will — out of your control. You're not annoyed, just overwhelmed.

Being the center of someone's attention means more expectations, more to live up to — he has no idea you're not the kind of girl he needs. Nobody needs someone who's a burden. It's not as if you're open to reciprocating any special attention, anyway.

If history has taught you anything, it’s that love isn't in the cards for you. It's best not to entertain any silly ideas.

Friendships are tricky, but no more than romance — or whatever crossed Eren's mind each time he looked at you. Keeping to oneself is easier than either one. But with the latter idea being too late to return to, you'll have to nip this problem in the bud.

The few hours before lunchtime seem to drag slower every Monday. Given that sparing time to eat was nothing but another task to check off your to-do list, you never used to pay much attention to the clock. But since Armin, lunchtime means more than bringing food to your mouth, methodically stretching your pace to fit the length of your lunch break.

Now it means meeting with a friend, having someone fill in the silence with tales from the accounting department, and occasionally going on quick drives to Kuchel.

So when you venture off to his cubicle, only for him to tell you he's swamped with work and won't have lunch until later, you're mildly disappointed. You don't let it show. After all, work trumps your trivial need for company.

So you wish him good luck and return to your desk. Without any conversation to fill in the minutes, you finish your food fairly quickly. When you glance at the time on your phone, barely fifteen minutes have passed. Your fingers tap rhythmically against your desk before you decidedly stand, grab your bag, and head for the elevator.

The coffee shop on the corner of the street has been your go-to spot since you started working here. You've been there alone and with Armin. It's where your feet take you on the rare occasions when Armin is too busy. There's nothing wrong with the in-house coffee kiosk from your office building, but you find more comfort in being surrounded by strangers who keep to themselves than bumping into someone who doesn't like you.

The early September days serve as a transition into cooler temperatures. A light breeze has added to the warmth leftover from summer. The leaves have yet to develop a clear change in color, but some yellow streaks are popping up here and there. The beginning of autumn pushes you toward all things cozy. By the time you reach the shop, you've got your heart set on having a warm cup of cinnamon tea.

You settle at a table, place your order, grab a book from your bag, and wait. Before you can reach the second paragraph of your read, a shadow casts over your left side, forcing you to look up in confusion. It's too soon for your tea to be ready.

You're met with striking green eyes and plump lips that pronounce a bashful hi.

It's a strange coincidence. You wish you could say you've never seen him around here before, but you've never bothered to commit any face to memory if it's not necessary.

“Eren, hi.”

The tint on his cheeks you remember so well from two nights ago resurfaces. A nervous swallow pulls at your throat. You never did map out a plan — then again, you weren't expecting to see him again so soon.

“I wasn't sure if it was you. Are you here with someone?” he asks, taking a second to look around the shop.

You shake your head.

“No. Armin's busy so I came here alone,” you explain.

He nods, rocking his weight on his heels. A question seems to linger on the tip of his tongue as his gaze flits between you and the floor. It takes him a moment for him to find his voice, though. In spite of yourself, you have to admit it's actually a bit endearing. It's different. It's refreshing.

“Is it okay if I sit with you?” His eyes are overflowing with hope.

You nod. He sits. The book in your hands is put away.

For a while last night, you debated the validity of your theory. Maybe Eren wasn't interested in you in the way you thought. After all, it was your first time meeting and he might’ve been nervous. You know enough about the way you present yourself to acknowledge you're not the most approachable person. Maybe all he needs is time to get used to you.

“Do you want to order something?” You ask, prepared to wave over a server. He stops you with a dismissive hand.

“It's okay, I already had some tea.”

Your eyebrows rise in surprise.

“Not a coffee guy?”

He shakes his head, sputtering a nervous chuckle.

“Not really. I don't like bitter things.” His nose scrunches as if he can savor it on his tongue.

A server brings over your tea along with a small tray of additives. You thank them before returning to Eren's statement.

“You can always add sugar,” you point out with a shrug.

He shakes his head again. This time you're relieved to find a playful smile dancing on his lips.

“Nothing can beat tea with honey.”

Your hand pauses mid-air on its way to pick up the wooden wand half lost in a jar of golden syrup.

You hum in thought as you reach for the sugar spoon instead.

“Really?”

“Yeah. That's how my mom made it for me when I was little. I'd get a stomachache or a cold and it was the first thing she'd make for me. I feel like a kid each time I drink it. It makes me think of her.”

The corners of his lips tug into a smile. You find yourself mirroring his expression as you look down at your hand stirring the sugar into your tea.

“Your mom sounds nice,” you murmur.

“Oh, she's the best. I love her.”

Eren's shoulders relax. He feels at ease talking about his mom. He feels even better knowing he's successfully carrying out a casual conversation with you. In the light of day, everything is less scary. There's less to worry about. That carefree feeling blankets over everything. Suddenly, the motive he walked into this coffee shop for seems doable.

Then a sinking feeling comes over his stomach.

“Sorry.” The word bounces off his tongue without thinking.

“What for?”

He doesn't want to say it, but he hopes his apologetic gaze is enough to convey an explanation.

Your eyebrows shoot up in realization at his hesitance. Then they furrow as you press your lips into a fine line and shake your head dismissively.

“Oh, that.”

The recall of Saturday night when you drunkenly talked about your mom causes your cheeks to flare with heat.

Guilt settles in Eren's stomach. He didn't mean to bring up his mom. He also didn't mean to be so quick to apologize. It just made things worse now that you know he's tiptoeing around you. That's probably the last thing you want — to feel purposely pitied.

Flustered, he rummages through his brain for a solution — a way to get back on the track he was on.

You fix your gaze on him. It's obvious he feels troubled. It's a foreign experience having someone worry so much about if they've caused you any harm. You're unsure of what feelings to associate with it other than guilt. He's not at fault for your crappy family life.

“So you and your mom are close?” you ask.

The crease in his forehead smoothes over.

When he shyly reconnects with your gaze, your eyebrows raise ever so slightly in encouragement. The movement is so subtle it's hard not to miss — but not for Eren, who takes in every detail of your face with so much care. For Eren, the small shifts in your features are so interesting to look at. You express so much with so little. And yet there were times when you would accentuate your expressions as much as you could. What you held back vocally was compensated tenfold through your face. It's fascinating to him.

“Yeah.”

His voice is soft — a trace of his withering embarrassment.

“She's my best friend,” he adds with a little more confidence.

You take a sip of tea. The drink warms your stomach, mirroring that of your chest elicited by Eren's words. The fondness in his voice taints him with a childlike innocence.

Eren Jaeger isn't worried about looking cool. He's honest and clumsy. It's charming.

A light shake of your head keeps your thoughts from drifting further.

“So not a coffee guy but a mama's boy, for sure. Got it.” You nod along with an overly serious expression painted on your face.

He laughs, the sinking feeling in his stomach now dissolving into nothing. Had he not been on the receiving end of your bluntly spoken teasing the other night, he might not have laughed so easily.

A blush spreads across his cheeks.

“Come on, don't tease me,” he mumbles.

You bite your lip to keep yourself from smiling. Eren falls back into his previously relaxed state.

The conversation continues to flow in between every sip of your tea.

“Do you come here often?” you ask as you prepare to take another sip.

Your eyes are locked on his. He struggles with the intense eye contact. At least, it's intense on his end.

“Not really. Armin mentioned it to me so I thought I'd try it out.”

The pads of his fingers drum a nervous beat on the table.

You nod, relieved. You'd feel silly if it had turned out he was a frequent customer and your disregard of the people surrounding you kept you from noticing him. It would've piled onto your embarrassment from the Kuchel incident.

“Ah, so are you on your lunch break, too? Do you work around here?”

“Um, kind of. I do media production and marketing for a museum, but I do a lot of hours at home. My place is just a few minutes by car.”

“That's so cool.”

The amazement in your voice in addition to its sudden turn up in volume is enough to make him blush.

“It's nothing special. I'm definitely not raking in the big bucks like Jean.”

“Still, it's cool. It's a lot more interesting than being an office manager.”

Your eyebrows scrunch together with newborn disdain for your job before you finish the remainder of your tea.

“Well, I can't argue there,” he says, imitating the sliver of bitterness in your voice.

You gasp in mock hurt.

“Hey, only I can say it.” Your tone is serious, but he knows you're joking. He can tell by the twinkle of amusement in your eyes.

He laughs.

“How long until you have to get back to work?”

You peek at the clock on the wall across the room.

“I still have some time. It's a short walk back, anyway.”

Despite your wording, your answer triggers his nervous antics. You're bound to part ways eventually and he swore to himself he would get the words out. He runs a hand through his hair to distract himself from the anxious flutter in his stomach.

It's no big deal, he thinks. She's just a girl.

He regrets not ordering something else when you asked him. It would give his hands something to do. Then again, he can't keep them from shaking as he gathers the courage to pronounce his next thought. So it's better he doesn't have any breakables in his hold.

He pronounces your name carefully. His heart skips a beat when your eyes meet his. It's strange to think that you hold so much power over him within just a couple of days since meeting. He wants to get closer — he needs to. Again, that feeling of wanting this moment with you to stretch farther squeezes at his chest.

“Do you want to hang out sometime? Just the two of us?”

He can feel himself growing numb to his surroundings as he awaits your response. It's similar to the feeling he gets after stepping foot off a rollercoaster. The adrenaline is pumping furiously through his veins while his mind goes blank. It's a weird moment of chaos and bliss all at once.

You clear your throat.

“So… a date?”

He swallows thickly and nods.

He watches you contemplate his proposal. Your lips are pressed in a fine line, your gaze low and brow furrowed.

It's too much to hope you're equally attracted to him — he's aware. But he hopes you like his company just enough to say yes. Or at the very least, you're curious to know more.

Your mind is in conflict. This is more than you've bargained for. All you wanted was to get along with Armin's friends.

“I'm sorry, Eren. No.”

He instantly deflates to your firm tone.

“It's nothing personal,” you explain. “You're a really nice guy. Really. But I'm not interested in dating… at all.” You sigh, dreading the pending words on your tongue. “And I don't really see you that way. I just want to be friends.”

He remains quiet, chewing on the inside of his cheeks as he processes your words.

The situation is uncomfortable for you, but his defeated form weighs heavier on your heart. He looks so small. It's definitely worse for him.

“Eren?”

Your voice grounds him.

“Sorry, I really spaced out there,” he nervously laughs. “Friends, though. Yeah, friends is good. Friends is perfect, actually.”

The word leaves a bitter taste on his tongue each time. He can pat himself on the back for shooting his shot later but, for now, his senses have been blurred by the disappointment of being turned down.

“I really like talking to you, Eren. Really.”

Your attempt to lighten the defeat on his shoulders works — a little. It's a relief you're not entirely opposed to having him around, at least. Eren finds comfort in that. Maybe it'll suffice while he fights away at his attraction.

“I like talking to you, too.” His voice carries a tint of helplessness.

Your eyes soften.

“I should get going.”

You pull out a fresh bill from your purse and place it under the empty teacup before standing.

He stands with you and holds the door open. It's not until you're both out on the sidewalk, bidding each other goodbye, that he forces a smile.

“I'll see you around.”

“Bye, Eren.”

“Sorry I couldn't make it to lunch,” Armin says. He leans against the edge of your desk with his hands in his pockets.

It's been an hour since you got back, and you've been typing away, replying to emails.

You shrug, tossing a small reassuring smile his way before focusing back on your computer screen.

“It's fine. I wasn't alone this time.”

He perks up.

“Really?”

You hum in affirmation.

“I went out for tea and bumped into your friend Eren.”

Armin's jaw falls open.

“Huh. Well, what do you know? That's a crazy coincidence.”

There's something suspicious about Armin's theatrical tone, but you're too engrossed in going over your email for typos to notice. You only manage to murmur a simple uh-huh.

“What'd you talk about?”

You send off your email with a satisfied click and look up at Armin as you lean back in your chair.

“Just this and that,” you reply nonchalantly.

His lips press into a dissatisfied line.

“Well, what do you think of him?” His eyes light up expectantly.

“He's…” You lose yourself in thought for a moment. Images of blushing cheeks, boyish smiles, and shimmering green eyes flash through your memory. You remember the honey and his simple confessions. “... like a little kid.”

Armin's face bears a mix of confusion and amusement.

“What do you mean by that?”

A soft pensive hum vibrates through your throat.

“Dorky,” you reply firmly.

Armin snorts, readying himself to come to Eren's defense, but you continue.

“He's… honest, like a little kid would be. And he's a little clumsy with his words but it's… Kind of endearing. He's a sweet guy.”

Armin nods along, his face serious. Finally, he smiles.

“Sounds like you had a nice talk, then.”

Date proposal aside, your moment with Eren was enjoyable. Even taking your rejection into account, you didn't sense any resentment directed at you and that just further proved your pure perception of him.

It's not the first time you've been asked out. It's certainly not the first time you've said no — that's always been your response, albeit for different reasons. A few guys in the office have tried getting closer to you but, even if you were open to dating, you can always tell it's nothing genuine from their approach. Their overly kind performance just makes it easier for you to decline. Once that's been done, their creepy narcissistic truths come to light — you're stoned with sexist slurs and disgusted looks. It'd hurt more if you were still the kind of person who craves approval from the wrong people.

There's a clear difference between them and Eren. So even though you rejected him, you still wish to be close as friends. He's a nice person to know.

“I did,” you tell Armin.

There's a shimmer in your eyes he manages to catch. Your features are soft and serene as you prop your chin on one hand while you mindlessly scroll through your emails with the other. Your lips are shaped into a discreet smile. Like a kid.

On his way back to his cubicle on the opposite end of the floor, Armin hums a cheerful tune to himself. There's a proud bounce in every step he takes.

“Armin, check your phone. It was buzzing like crazy a few minutes ago,” a female coworker says in passing before grabbing a manila folder from her desk and rushing off to a meeting room across the hall.

“Thanks, Mina!” he calls after her.

Armin taps the missed call notification on his screen and brings the phone to his ear, grinning expectantly.

“You suck,” Eren's voice comes through the speaker after the first ring.

“Woah, woah, woah. What did I do?” Armin laughs as he steps out onto the empty smoker's balcony.

There’s a groan on the other end.

“What do you think? I crashed and burned.”

Armin’s face contorts in confusion. From what he could gather on your end, the coffee shop incident went well. You were smiling, and although the things you said about Eren didn’t seem like it, you meant them fondly — Armin knew you well enough to confidently confirm that. At the very least, it meant you weren’t completely repulsed by his company. Even if there are different sides to every story, the discrepancies shouldn’t be anything major.

“What are you talking about?” Armin sighs.

Another groan on Eren’s end. If Armin wasn’t so patient, he would’ve hung up.

He really is like a little kid, he thinks.

“I asked her out and she said no.”

Armin’s eyebrows shoot up in surprise. How could you keep that part out of the conversation you had earlier?

His shock doesn’t stem from your rejection, but rather because of Eren’s unexpected bravery. Although Eren was tough on the playground when they were kids, he grew up to be a fairly meek guy. When it comes to a girl he likes, he’s never been the bold type. Armin found it a bit strange at times. Eren’s had a track record of being popular among women, so his confidence should be over the roof and his personality, unbearable. But if he’s honest, it’s a good thing he doesn’t pay much attention to those things. It’s easier to root for a friend who only acts on more honest feelings. Even if that confidence didn’t stick with him.

“This is all your fault, Armin. So much for having my back.”

Even through the phone, Armin can tell his best friend is pouting. He has to hold back from rolling his eyes — it feels deceitful to do it behind his back when he has to play the role of a sympathetic friend right now.

He rubs at his nape, unsure of whether he should feel proud of Eren for making a move or apologetic for not contemplating what seemed like a far-fetched risk.

“To be fair, buddy, I didn’t send you over there to ask her out. I just thought you would like the chance to talk to her and get to know her a little better.”

“You couldn’t tell me that before? I don’t think I can ever face her again!” Eren half-yells.

Of course, Eren chooses to focus on the negatives. Armin cherry-picks the situations he meddles in. Even if it’ll serve as a confident boost to reveal to Eren what you said about him and how you said it, it could do him some good to bounce back on his own — and learn to pace himself.

“First off, you have to relax an—”

“I can’t.” Eren’s voice is reduced to an embarrassed murmur. “She makes me nervous. I can’t help myself.”

There’s a long moment of silence.

It’s been obvious from the start that Eren is attracted to you, but the near confession pulls at Armin’s heartstrings. It’s times like this when he’s reminded how cute Eren can be.

“That bad, huh?” Armin smiles down at the people walking on the street.

“Don’t get me wrong. I’m not in love with her or anything but…”

There's a long pause on Eren's side, only disturbed by some light rustling as he moves his phone around.

“... I like looking at her… and I like hearing her talk. Do you ever notice how soft her voice is? There’s just something about it… There’s this thing with her eyes, too, it’s crazy.”

“Well, as long as you’re not falling in love with her.”

Eren releases a third groan.

“Armin, please. I just want to get closer to her. And I don’t want to make myself look like an idiot each time we’re alone. I wish there was something I could do to make her like me.”

“I don’t think she dislikes you if that’s what you’re thinking.”

“She said she doesn’t see me that way. She just wants to be friends.”

Eren’s desolation is seeping through the phone now.

“Maybe I jumped the gun by asking her out so quickly.”

When Armin suggested Eren find you at the coffee shop during your lunch break, he figured it would help him get used to you. So that when the time came, he could ask you out without being more anxious than he needed to be. Had everything gone accordingly, Eren wouldn’t be moping now and wondering what would have happened — if anything was meant to happen — if he had just given you a little more time.

“Maybe,” Armin echoes.

“Do you think I blew it?”

Armin shakes his head even though there’s no way for Eren to tell.

“I think you just got a little excited. You never know how she might feel later on.”

“I don’t want to make her uncomfortable. I hardly think she’ll like me any better if I act like those guys who can’t take no for an answer. I should just try being her friend.”

Armin wants to beg him not to feel discouraged — that there’s a reason why he was so excited to introduce you to each other, and why he teased him at the housewarming party after he caught him blushing while doing the dishes with you.

It didn’t start that way but, the more he got to know you, the more he thought you and Eren would be good together.

Soft-spoken girl who keeps to herself meets the most dependable and kind-hearted boy.

Armin would be lying if he said he wasn’t swayed by the promised satisfaction of playing matchmaker in the fantasy playing out in his head. Not that he felt you absolutely needed to get together. But he could feel it in his gut. You and Eren could do each other a lot of good. He already knew Eren would feel a pull upon meeting you and, if there’s anything he gathered from both sides of the coffee shop incident, it’s that you like Eren enough to let him stick around. It was a good call on your end, though he may be biased.

If you happen to fall in love along the way, then so be it.

“You’re a good guy, Eren. Everything will turn out fine.”

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heartinajarofpickles · 8 months

Text

Dinner Is Not Over

Part 1

You say something's wrong

The engine finally stops after 4 hours of driving carelessly through the London streets, Crowley doesn’t seem to know how, when or why he arrived at their apartment.

— “Life must move on right?”

No one answers.

The boxes in the backseat have started to lose stability, the more the moisture of the plants is in contact with them, the worse they get, as soon as Crowley notices this he takes them out, one box at a time since he doesn’t have help this time, it’s very tedious really but at least it keeps his mind occupied, although not for long, once all the plants are secured in the second floor of the building he starts spiraling again, thinking about the confession, the kiss, but above all about Aziraphale, they have never been not together, maybe he should’ve gone to heaven, be holy again, just to be with the one that he had forever loved; but then again how could he go to that place after all he had seen, they were the ones that punished him oh so badly just for questioning god and not following her blindly, but wasn’t that the reason that he got into such a high position in the first place? And even worse, didn't god make her that way? Why was she responsible for being the way she was if another person made her specifically that way?

NONSENSE

Worse than all, heaven tried to kill the angel, HIS angel, destroy him forever just for saving life, why if he was so good did Metatron not intervene then? What if they hadn’t changed their bodies? Both of them would’ve died.

Ever since the fall Crowley didn’t care that much about his own life, he never really admitted it, but he knew that god could take anything she wanted away from them, at any given time, that's why they restricted themselves from feeling, from caring, from getting attached, because they knew that if they did it all could be destroyed, it had been once and nothing guaranteed him that it couldn’t happen again, but here on earth they had so much more that she could ever have anywhere else, they were loved and cared but above all they were needed, and that was his mistake, letting his ward down, and allowing themselves to feel, to care, to love, and just like thousands of years ago, all of that was stolen from him, ripped in seconds leaving his word shredded.

But none of that was important anymore, he had all the time in the world just for himself, and he sure could use it.

First thing Crowley did after having such a sad revelation was getting into the Bentley and driving to the closest liquor shop, what a nice sound it was the one of bottles clinking against each other and how nice did it felt to not make the right choice for once, to behave the way that everyone expected him to, to live up to all those nasty comments and beliefs, it was clear as day that the little man chasing him since 3 blocks away was never going to be able to catch him, of course Crowley had the money to pay, but he just needed some thrill, although not positive he surely was feeling something, call him whatever you want but at this exact moment he was doing 1000 times better than when Aziraphale left.

After arriving in an absurdly short amount of time to his flat Crowley decided to get right at it, apparently in such a hurry 3 bottles have broken leaving irregular shards of glass both big and small, sharp and flat; and whiskey splashed all over the suitcase, Crowley’s cold hand starts digging into the bag where the bottles are, hurting himself with a few of the smaller shards, when he manages to take a hold onto one of the bottles his hand were already bleeding, it was such a twisted picture to saw the creature that had once saved the earth and guarded it for so many years from gods oddballs, thrown on the floor drinking a disgusting mix of the red liquid emanating from their hands mixed with the liquor coming out of the bottle all while watching the sculpture that looked so different than him, so ethereal, so triumphant,so elegant, and for that same thing to felt the same way that he did, cold, hard and inert, if u would’ve been there at the time you wouldn’t have been able to differentiate which one was which, same pulse, same temperature, same tint, in fact with each gulp Crowley lost more and more of his humanity until they were nothing more than a bunch of bones and skin, muscles and blood held together by something that didn’t let him live nor let him die, the weight of those 6,000 years began settling in, all those years they had been with the angel, they had felt him sometimes so far that it was very faint, some other times so close that he believe that with a wrong movement they will merge together becoming the same energy, but as of now he couldn’t feel anything it felt lonely, it felt empty, it felt WRONG.

Crowley’s thoughts weren’t stopping and neither was his drinking, more and more time passed and with each minute more empty bottles were filling up the flat, the initial cuts on their hand had already stopped bleeding but with each bottle that he take out new cuts surface his skin, tiny red drops decorating the view with tiny red splashes, some of them were in the floor, some others in the top of the bottles, a few of them in their arms and face, but the majority were mixed with the liquor giving it a new rusty taste.

The booze had made up effect and the flat felt so quiet, she could quickly fix that, she got up and take the first vinyl that she could grab it was one from Maggie’s shop, rightnow, there were not that many people that know what they sell, but that girl had at least an idea of what she was charging for, her previous generation wasn’t as enthusiastic as her, the dark circle started spinning just like Crowley’s head when he stood up to turn on the music, his head is such a cruel mean place that with just a few sound waves is already thinking of someone, someone that it’s not here, someone who won’t be here.

He gets up and stops the music, almost falling to the ground due to the fast movement, but that is not enough, soon enough the smell of burnt plastic has filled out the entire apartment, Who even needs music? Or company? Or love?

Crowley takes another sip of the bottle, he feels so tired, this body wasn’t built for this, and after all he’s been through just this day alone he finally sleeps.

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malachiexists13 · 1 year

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Ive already seen some people getting angry over this so thought I'd give my take <3

Ive already completed lesson 11, so now Im just waiting for lesson 12. But shit really starts to go down in lesson 11. So spoilers for that.

Lesson 10 is when the demon brothers (minus Beel and Satan) find out MC is a human. I blame Diavolo because he practically forced us to reveal ourselves. Lucifer and Belphie are pissed, while Mammon, Asmo, and Levi seem a bit more conflicted. Before things can escalate, Solomon shows up and helps MC escape.

Lesson 11, MC and Solomon have fled to Thirteen's cave. More specifically, the Fountain of Knowledge, a room that belongs to Solomon and not Thirteen despite it being apart of her cave. The only rule being that you cant make promises, with the reason yet to be revealed. But it isnt long until the demon brothers (minus Satan, Beel, and Belphie) show up in search of MC.

MC runs into Levi, Asmo, and Mammon first, who warn them that Lucifer is also searching for them. Shortly after, Thirteen shows up to inform MC that Lucifer is in the Fountain of Knowledge. MC decides to go and try to talk things out with Lucifer. But considering this is Lucifer, it doesnt go accordingly.

Lucifer immediately goes on the offense. Despite MC saying they are not an enemy, Lucifer doesn't believe them. He's suspicious of them, and conflicted. Its implied here that Lucifer tries to kill or at least badly injure MC, using his power to inflict a feeling of being squeezed so hard your body may be crushed. Eventually, Thirteen intervenes, claiming that she "likes MC more than Solomon" because of MC's soul. So she chooses to give MC a grimoire, one that can supposedly control the demon brothers. This may be the same grimoire they keep in the tomb beneath the House of Lamentation in the future. But the rest of what happens isnt important here, just the part about Lucifer being hostile.

Ive already seen posts going on the defensive about how terrible Lucifer is and that they'll never forgive him for this, etc.. Like ok. Is this new? Absolutely not. He tried it twice in the previous game. I honestly don't care if you hate Lucifer. But before you cast such harsh judgement, please try to understand his actions.

Lucifer is not some cold-hearted individual. His motive in Nightbringer is the exact same in the previous game. He viewed MC as a threat to him and his brothers. Probably even more so in Nightbringer due to them having the Ring of Light and being able to draw power from the brothers.

By this point, Lucifer has seen MC knock Satan out and subdue the others and himself with a simple command. He has seen MC draw power from his brothers and himself to knock Beel out. His brothers claim to have seen MC do the same thing to send someone to the Celestial Realm. In his eyes, MC should not be able to do any of this. They shouldnt even have the Ring of Light. Yet they do have it, they can do these things. And that worries Lucifer.

Imagine for a moment- its been approximately a year since the Celestial War. A war in which you were rebelling, primarily to protect your sister from death. Yet she died anyway, making the war ultimately meaningless. And you dragged all your brothers down with you. As a last ditch effort to save her, you promise undying loyalty to the Prince of Demons. And after a year, a random demon shows up and is appointed as attendant for you and your brothers. And they start helping, and things start getting better. Suspiciously better. You dont understand this demon's motives, what could they possibly want? They're the apprentice of Solomon... And seem to hold intensive power.

Suddenly, you witness them wearing the Ring of Light. A ring that once was yours, back in the Celestial Realm. But they shouldnt have that. They use it to draw strength from you and your brothers to use as their own, and you hear this is not the first time they've done this. That at one point, they managed to send someone to the goddamn Celestial Realm. Only for you to now learn that they are a human. Meaning they've been lying to you this entire time. What else could they have lied about?

You cannot fucking tell me that you wouldnt be paranoid. From our perspective, yeah its a bit terrifying being attacked by Lucifer. But from his? Its makes a lot more sense once you think about it.

If you still dislike Lucifer after reading this-- thats fine. Its your opinion, after all. You dont HAVE to like him. But understanding his actions can at least lessen the anger.

#obey me shall we date #obey me #obey me one master to rule them all #obey me nightbringer #obey me!#obey me! shall we date #obey me! one master to rule them all #obey me! nightbringer #obey me lucifer #obey me! lucifer #om lucifer #om! lucifer

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nonsensical-gashi · 10 days

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Season 4! Single part!

• There's another 1 year jump between season 3 finale and season 4 begining.

• I forgot to mention, Lancelot met Kilgharrah, and knows that Merlin is a dragon lord.

• Morgaus is still alive, and she's sacrificed on chap 1.

• Morgana went to the isle of the blessed, and opened the veil between worlds. Merlin heard the voices of the death, Dorocha, and fainted.

Also this was the moment someone told Morgana about Emerys, and his destiny to defeat her.

• Merlin was so cheerful and happy at the beginning of season 4. There's a huge contrast on chapter 1, it jumps from a cozy happy scene of Merlin in the castle (with satured colors) to a gray scene with Morgana.

• Merlin "if things were different we could've been friends"..... What do you mean by that! Arthur already told you that he sees you as his friend in season 1 and 2!

Note of Chp 4. Arthur told him that he was a loyal friend.

Note of chap 6(?). They called each other friends.

• They're so worried about Merlin.

• Morgana killed Uther with her spell. It isn't the first time that Merlin's plans turned wrong, after his surroundings told him to not intervene, but this time the consequences were terrible.

• After Uther's death, Merlin felt that he will never be able to tell Arthus about his magic. That can be an important point for writing inspiration.

And it's been so long since last time Arthur defended someone with magic.

• Arthur is King since end of chapter 3.

• It's not a coincidence that the chapter after Uther death is the one with the egg of the dragon.

• Saving the dragon egg is maybe the first nice thing that Merlin does to Kilgharrah.

• Aithusa means the light of the sun. "Every dragon is born for a reason".

• Dragons are unable to hatch without a dragonlord. They'll hatch once named.

• Gwen spoke in front of Camelot court, with confidence and wisdom. And they heard her. It was a good starting point to see her as a queen.

• They have told Arthur that he was saved so many times by Magic. Once by old Merlin, and once by Gaius.

• Gaius told Arthur that the wizard didn't kill Uther. He was already dying, and he wasn't able to avoid that, even with Magic.

• "I don't know what to do, what should I do Merlin?" Arthur to Merlin.

• Every time that Arthur called Merlin wise "I don't know if you are wise or stupid", It seems that Merlin does something clumsy that reassures Arthur he's, indeed, stupid. At this point can be a headcannon that Merlin does this on purpose, even if he wants recognizing, he's aware of the papers he has to fill.

• Chp 11. Gwen was transformed into a deer.

• Gaius tries to thanks Merlin in the name of everyone for everything he does, every so often.

• I was chap 12 when Merlin opened the new hole in Arthur's belt. I remember this joke so much, I'm not sure why.

• This is a hard season for Arthur. He was betrayed by Morgana, Lancelot died, Uther died, Agravaine filled his mind with distrust, Gwen betrayed him, then Agravaine betrayed him. Merlin was tense last season, this season was Arthur's time.

• Morgana wasn't afraid of Emerys, she was terrified.

• Merlin killed Agravain without using a spell. Just instinctive magic.

• Merlin told him that he was the one destined to reign in Albion. I think this is the first time he heard the name.

• His people already knew that Arthur was a good king, multiple times he proved to be a good leader. The sword in the stone just proved that one more time.

• Merlin proved to be a great sorcerer at the season 4 finale. He turned himself old and attacked the guards without a big effort. He defeated Agravain without any problem. And he made a plan to attack Morgana and executed it in a single night!.He can stop swords and throw away people without even looking at them (and without a spell).

• "Not even Emerys will be able to save you" Morgana to Arthur. This is, maybe, the first time that Arthur hears the name.

• Merlin neutralized Morgana's magic with a spell and a voodoo/leaf doll under her bed. As a headcannon, maybe he learned this spell a long time ago, as a precaution against Morgana, to be used in the right moment.

• Morgana was about to slay Gwen, and then she was pushed away (by Merlin magic who was hiding just behind her). She was confused and then Merlin came out, protecting her....... She asked what happened and he answered "I don't know"...... Another writing idea, This will be an interesting point to be a step so Gwen can connect the dots, and discover that Merlin has Magic.

• Gwen married Arthur at the season 4 finale. And was crowned Camelot's queen.

• Aithusa saved Morgana. That was her only contribution in this season.......

If Morgana was destined to kill Uther, and he was already dead, then something else was written to be saved by the dragon. There was something else that she has to do before she can really die.

• Also this last thing is what I was talking about in season 1, maybe 2, about Kilgharrah being so entertained with Merlin and his worries. Arthur can't die (not really) until the prophecy is complete, and Albion is created.

Well, season 4 has one part only. I'm going to start season 5 this week. Hope this is helping someone.

And have a nice night!

Also, you can read more here!

Season 1 part 1 part 2 part 3

Season 2 part 1 part 2

Season 3 part 1 part 2

Season 4 u're here

Season 5 part 1

Sorry for the delay, I forgot to anex the photos and post this.

#merlin #merlin bbc #bbc merlin #arthur merlin #morgana merlin #gwen merlin #Kilgharrah #Kilgharrah merlin

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daenaera-t · 14 days

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The False Wolf

1/?

warnings:mentions of death violence child birth blood lots of blood It was a cold day colder then usual in the north the sky was darker and snow was starting to fall from the sky when screams could be heard from one of the many rooms in the Stark castle screams of agony and pain the Lady Of The North had gone into labor at early hours of the day it was now well past mid day and she was still in labor this was her 4rd pregnancy but still no one knew why she was having more trouble this time then the orders. Lord Rickon was starting to worry for his wife's life he did not care if the babe survived or not he already had 3 healthy boys an heir thought he was pacing back and forth right outside his wife's chambers his boys had been sent to there chambers as it was past there bed time. soon one more scream was heard from lady stark then silence lord stark couldn't take it anymore and barged into the room and was followed by cries of a babe as the warden of the north made his way to his wife as one of the midwifes started to clean up the babe and the she spoke.

"Congrats my lord its a healthy babygirl" said the midwife.

As the warden of the north heard that he couldn't be happier he finally had a girl but his happiness was soon cut short as he was being ushered out the room and the door was closed in his face but not even a few moments later one of the maids came out to hand him his daughter and then walked away he was then let inside the room where he saw his wife's body only she wasn't moving or saying anything her eyes were closed her face lost all color her night dress drenched in sweat and blood that had also stained the entire bed as he saw that the warden of the north felt as if his heart had just been ripped out of him he held his new born daughter closer as he tried not to cry and composed himslef.

He then order the maesters to get the silent sisters to ready his wife's body for the funeral he then turned around and walked out the room and made his way to the nursery once there he then put the girl in her crib. he then looked down at the her and right there and there he let his tears fall he let himself mourn his wife the love of his life was now gone taken from him but what he didn't know with her she took her darkest secret the one she hoped would never see light of day ever.

By the next morning Lord Rickon and the children were dress in black and now stood in the crypts as there mother had just been buried there silence was then cut short by the babes cries as Lord Rickon sight and took the baby from her wet nurse and held her in his arms his oldest son ivarr then looked at his father and asked .

"Father what is her name" asked the cuories boy your father then looked down at you and awnserd " Lyanna...Lyanna stark" he said with a small smile on his face as he looked into your eyes the same eyes your mother had.

7 YEARS LATER.........

Lyanna now stood in the crypts yet again this time holding her older brother Torrhens hand there father was now dead killed they were now all alone in the world or so she thought to her self.

After the funeral had been held lyanna was being escorted back to her chamber or so she thought instead she was lead to the throne room where her uncle awaited along her 3 brothers and her 2 cousins confused she asked.

"w-what's going on uncle" she said a bit confused still dressed in her black dress her pale cheeks now red and stained with dry tear her uncle scoffed and yelled at her.

"DON'T YOU EVER CALLE ME THAT AGAIN YOU BASTARD" he screamed at the 8 year old girl.

He then procided to slap her across the face which caused the girl to fall down to the floor drawing blood from her lip as her brothers tried to run to her aid there uncle order the guards to hold the boys as to not intervene.

He the spoke again "I don't know why my brother didn't kill you when he had the chance you should of died along your whore of a mother.." he told you and smirked when he saw how angry and confused your brothers looked at him then ivarr yelled at his uncle clearly there uncle knew something they did not then everything happened to fast the next thing you saw was your older brother on the floor bleeding to death while your other two brothers were being dragged out the room by the guards as your uncle made his way to drag you away by the hair himself you screamed for your brother .

"IVARR-IVARR-NOOOO PLEASE NOOO SOME ONE SAVE HIM" you screamed which caused your uncle to kick you in the stomach and tell you to shut up he continued to dragged you to your chambers and tossed you inside then looked the door and left. That was the last time you had seen the outside after the death of your brother and father your uncle kept you locked up in your chambers occasionally allowing you to join him and his sons for diner but that was it you didn't see your other brothers or the outside world and the maids and guards would not speak to you at all slowly the once happy little girl you were started to disappear now in her place was a shell of she was all your were now was something to entertain your cousins and uncle a toy they can do what ever they wanted to when ever they wanted too.

#fanfic #house of the dragon #fanfiction #oc #hotd #aemond one eye #aegon targaryen x reader #hotd aemond #prince aemond #aemond targaryen x reader #stark family #lyanna stark

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scaryhaven · 8 months

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The first three episodes I found Ed's struggle extremely relatable, hard to watch, and upsetting, but with a little time I was eventually able to process it, and analyze what happened, and the trauma he's gone through. But, you know who i can barely allow myself to think about right now? Izzy. I acknowledge i am biased, but i cant even imagine the amount of pain he is in by the end of episode 3. Ed and Stede knew each other for a fraction of the time that Izzy and Ed knew each other. He's dedicated most of his life to this man who ended up abusing him, belittling him, and essentially tried to kill him, but despite that, Izzy was not able to end Eds life, it wasn't until the crews lives were in danger that he finally allowed Ed to be "put down" without intervening. Even though he didn't kill Ed himself, the amount of guilt he must feel for letting the love of his life be killed right before his eyes, unable to protect him, for having been unable to stop Eds erratic moods in the first place, having been unable to make him happy, and in general, was not enough for Ed, when Ed was all that Izzy ever needed. He's a failure in every way that matters to him. Now, imagine the amount of agony he must be in, loyalty to Ed has been such a big part of Izzy's character, and probably even a measure of his self worth is found in his ability to stick by the greatest pirate ever known, and having the mental fortitude to wade through all the hardship that comes with that. i fully believe that without Edward, Izzy isn't certain of who he is. (Stede is Ed's lighthouse, and Ed is Izzy's anchor) He's an unmoored ship at this point. I've always felt like Izzy's real job is less about being a pirate and more about being Ed's protector specifically. And if Ed's dead, then he doesn't have a job anymore and for someone like Izzy, who is always focused on work and doing it properly, if he has no job, he has no purpose; his life is already over. We saw him attempt to end his life, whether it was because of the emotional or physical pain, its clear that he is dealing with suicidal thoughts, and that breaks my heart.

But the real part I'm struggling with is the way that Ed and Izzy differ in how their suicidal thoughts are exemplified. Ed was showing everyone just how bad it was, he was abusing and scaring everyone, until of course it all manifests in that final ride into the storm, where its clear he's serious, its very loud, and ostentatious, and he's begging for an end, or even help, if possible. But Izzy, Izzy keeps it to himself, he drinks alone, he cries silent tears, and when the others do see him cry, he tries to brush it off as if its not happening at all. He doesn't seek comfort from others or from warm soup, he doesn't attempt to hurt others, he curls up in on himself, and tells Stede "Go on Bonnet, give me your worst" fully expecting to be further abused, rather than empathized with. on top of it all, he's also a heartbroken man, who now fully understands that Stede and Ed are actually in love, and all these years, he never had a chance. Despite all that turmoil inside, he doesn't make a show of his trauma, or how broken he is, he doesn't make it as plainly clear as Ed did, that he actually does need help, he does need love, he doesn't even try because he doesn't think he would receive any, nor does he think he deserves it. To me there's nothing sadder than someone suffering in silence while surrounded by people that could and would help if asked. Izzy has instead put himself in a box away from others, and all I want is for him to get to a place where he can accept the love that is exactly what he needs, rather than being loved as best as one can.

#izzy hands #israel hands #ofmd #ofmd s2 spoilers #ofmd spoilers #meta #i hope this doesnt come across as hate for ed or something cuz thats not it at all! his pain and the crews is very real #i just have a soft spot for characters like Izzy <3 i havent been looking through his tags yet cuz i cant see him. it hurts too much Q.Q

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hubristicassholefight · 3 months

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Hubristic Asshole Tourney Round 1 Part 1b

Gale of Waterdeep (Baldur's Gate 3) vs Sinbad (Magi: The Labyrinth of Magic)

Propaganda below cut (Spoiler warning)

Gale

Tried to steal ancient very dangerous magic to give back to his lover, the goddess of magic. Did not work. Now has a bomb in his chest; Didn’t like him at first. Then I found out he’s implied to be a victim of grooming and then I was like. Ah. That’s why you’re like that

Unintentionally) upset Mystra (the Goddess of Magic) by bringing a piece of raw magic to her to prove his love. He didn't realize it was the Karsite Weave, and as a result she dumps him without explaining this to him. The piece of magic embedded itself into him, and began to eat away at his magical ability. He has to consume magic from magical items or else the Netherese Orb would destabilize and would ultimately detonate with enough power to rival a nuke. He later believes he can use the Crown of Karsus to ascend to godhood, most likely as a means to cope with his inferiority complex, and possibly to get back at Mystra. In his bad ending, his ascension causes so much chaos that he’s doomed himself and the rest of the world. In his good ending, he learns to accept his place in the world as a mortal man, returns the crown to Mystra for safekeeping, and she cures him of the Netherese Orb. He also comes to accept that she never truly loved him and that he was just an object to her; ES. So, Gale may come across as arrogant but he’s not downright impolite. He seems to hold a great deal of guilt towards his actions. However, in his bad ending where he becomes the God of Ambition, his mother (who he loved dearly and had a very close relationship with) and his familiar (who had helped him through some of the toughest times of his life, and pulled him out of a depressive rut) both say that he’s become completely unrecognizable. Mystra (I believe she says this? I might be mistaken) also warns that he’s bound to abuse his power as a lesser god and suffer HUGE consequences for it, as gods are forbidden from directly intervening in the lives of mortals. Raphael, a (very powerful) Cambion, also warns that the chaos caused by Gale’s ascension grants him the unforeseen opportunity to try and take over the Material Plane. Also, the BG3 wiki sort of says Gale tries to help people achieve their ambitions with his godly powers, and while that isn’t entirely untrue, he seems to be a very chaotic and arrogant god and it’s clear that he’s just as terrible and flawed as the rest of the gods in the Forgotten Realms—which aren’t unlike the Greek Gods.

This man was dating the literal goddess personification of magic and went, "Hey I found a missing piece of your magic Weave so I'm gonna grab it for you!" Except it wasn't her magic at all. Actually it was the opposite. So she dumped him and he has a potential nuclear weapon in his chest and lives alone with his cat. Despite all this the moment he finds another magical artifact he says "THIS TIME WILL BE DIFFERENT!" and wants to take it so he can become a GOD in his own right. Sir last time you almost died; He's also a dork who likes his cat and books and really needs to stick with that instead of constantly trying to grab divine power.

He hubrised his way into a situation and then decided he could totally hubris his way out. He found and used a tome of dangerous, unstable magic to try to convince his goddess/lover to grant him access to knowledge and power beyond mortal ken. The unstable magic almost killed him, took away his wizard powers, and turned him into a walking bomb. He couldn't leave his house for a year due to trying not to blow up, after the goddess became his ex-lover and cast him out of her circle entirely. Then plot happened to him and he ended up encountering an even more powerful dangerous, unstable magic item, which made him go, "I could use that to ascend to godhood. And if I did, I would be way better at being a god than the current gods, who are all cold and unconcerned with mortal life. I'd totally retain a mortal conscience and use godly powers for the good of all if I had it." If you get the ending for him where he pursues this, he does in fact become a god--but in the very way he sought to circumvent, turning into a mockery of his former self as he becomes the god of ambition and exhibits all the coldness and moral ambivalence he'd objected to in the established gods; He uses the word hubris to describe his own first category five hubris event, and then backslides. Gale himself literally tells everyone the historical story about how the guy who made the magic items that he used to meddle in magic beyond his understanding almost destroyed the world and his empire fell out of the sky. And then he goes and does it again like "RIP to Karsus but I'm different."

Sinbad

Sinbad can see the flow of destiny, because of this he is quite arrogant and believes he is unbelievably special compared to everyone else (to be fair he is exceptional considering he has 7 metal vessels but is more his attitude about it and the way he looks down on other people). His hubris can be seen throughout the series, but I think it is at is greatest during the last arc where he reviles his plan to use the Sacred Palace to rewrite the Rukh into his vision of a perfect world. He believes that because he could see the flow of destiny he has a right to be the one making these big decisions and being the singular ruler of the world. This all comes to a head in a big final battle with the main characters (sans Morgiana for whatever reason) where he dies (?). There’s more to it than that but I really don’t want to reread the series to get the facts exactly right. Long story short, this he tried to become god and kill everyone, which is a pretty big asshole move; I’m really bad at explaining things, but he is a very interesting character that started out as very idealistic and optimistic about the world. He had big plans on how he could help to make the world a better place and make his own country. He’s always been seen as a singularity, he was the first person to conquer a dungeon and then went on to conquer six more (he only stopped because the Djinn decided 7 metal vessels was way more than one person needs). After all he experienced he became less naive and understood that if he wanted to realise his dreams he would have to get his hands dirty, unfortunately he took this lesson the worst way possible and became more underhanded over time. Even during the prequel his arrogance and pride is still very present, it’s just a bit more well meaning. At one point he bets everything on him winning a gladiator battle (something he was explicitly warned agains) and has the shock of his life when he looses. It is a very important part of his arc, and he nearly gives up on his dreams altogether when he thinks he has become a horrible person after doing something a bit underhanded while trying to help people. Ja’far, always the voice of reason despite being like 12 here, tells him is a less than kind way that he is being stupid and that believing he could build a whole country without doing a few dirty things way unbelievably naive, if Sinbad ever truly stays from the right path and does become the type of person that they’ve been working against he will kill him. What a good friend. It gets to a point in the last arc where Ja’far, his closest friend, tells him to his face that he is being dumb and needs to stop worrying about the distant future and whatever wars might break out then, because they aren’t in that future and they never will be, that’s for the people of the future to sort out. Sinbad hears this genuinely good advice looks over to his friend and says ‘oh yeah you’re right I was being so silly’ and they have a happily little moment together. Then when he’s alone Abra pops up and asks Sinbad if he’s going through with the plan and he obviously responds with yes, because who cares if you lie to your oldest friend and then immediately betray them. I don’t want this to just sound like I’m hating on his character, I’m not I thing he very complex and interesting, but I am still a bit mad at his terrible life decisions and the fact that the last conversation Ja’far and Sinbad ever had was a complete lie, but in the last chapter Ja’far is still waiting for Sinbad to come back. He did not deserve that that, he was so loyal to Sinbad, that was his entire world for 20 years and it ended in the worst way possible. That’s a bit off topic, but also slightly relevant since it does show the lengths Sinbad was willing to go to for the sake of his arrogance. Also he always looks so smug and I find that annoying.

#gale of waterdeep #gale dekarios #baldur's gate 3 #sinbad #magi: the labyrinth of magic #hubristic assholes tourney #poll #official #round 1 #round 1 part 1b

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maddymoreau · 1 year

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Gentleman for the ask game!

My Favorite Things About Gentleman -

(⸝⸝⸝ ᵒ̴̶̷ ꇴ ᵒ̴̶̷)◞♥︎ I really admire how despite his circumstances Gentleman is trying to spend his final moments on his terms!!!

As Henryk he always wanted to be anything but an average joe. Trying everything (and failing) until discovering his talent and passion for cooking.

Now that he’s been moonscorched and transformed into Gentleman he knows his time is limited and his fate is sealed. So he’s going to indulge himself in all he’s ever wanted (•̀.̫ •́✧ )!!

Giving himself a powerful important position: Pretending to be the mayor.

Having in-depth discussions on art: Forcing the player to dine and use their imagination to describe his cooking.

Creating art: Cooking (questionable) meals.

(ී ؀ී ) Gentleman is quick to violence if you don’t play along because you’re destroying the illusion he’s created for himself.

I find the way cooking soothes him to be so sweet. It makes sense that’s how he’d want to spend his final moments (′͈∨‵͈♡)!!!

To him the kitchen is where he feels useful, confident and at home.

THE WAY HE GETS SO HAPPY WHEN YOU COMPLIMENT HIS FOOD IS ADORABLE!!!!

Another thing is the way he stands up to Caligura.

We’re given very little information on Henryk’s connection to Caligura. For context Caligura is a pure scum mob boss whose done unforgivable heinous crimes (ᇂ_ᇂ ‘).

While we don’t know how. Henryk has been affected by Caligura. When you first attempt to intimidate him as Gentleman it doesn’t work.

He’ll respond, “Acting like a big mob boss, are we!?”

lf Henryk isn’t moonscorched he will later try to kill Caligura. This conversation happens.

Henryk: “I know what you’re trying to pull! You’re a fool if you think I’ll just watch from the side while you turn everyone against each other.”

Caligura: “Aren’t you clever. So whatcha going to do about it big guy?”

Henryk: “You might have gotten this far by just intimidating people into submission . . . But I spit on your puny scare tactics! The likes of you would get laughed out of an average kitchen.”

HES SO LAME BUT HES TRYING </3 !!!!

Unfortunately he fails. Caligura will immediately kill him unless the player intervenes. If the player does kill Caligura then Henryk will thank you saying that you did everyone a favor. Along with:

The final line “He’s had it coming for years I’d guess” has me like hmmmmmmmmmmm 👀👀👀👀

Either way the fact he tries to be a hero and kill Caligura (and fails miserably) is admirable.

I WANNA GRAB HIS WAIST (⸝⸝⸝◉⸝⸝⸝◉⸝⸝⸝)♡!!! His design is SO HOT!!!! SERIOUSLY LOOK AT HIM!!!!

Also I think the reason I prefer Gentleman to Henryk (despite them being the same person) is that outside REALLY liking Gentleman’s design. There’s something extremely interesting about a character attempting to escape the reality of the situation they’re in through lies.

While his mind has been damaged from being moonscorched (being a cannibal isn’t something he’d normally do as Henryk). Gentleman is aware enough to know the situation he’s in. He also knows there’s nothing he can do about it.

So he’s going to instead indulge in what brings him pleasure and comfort because it gives him a false sense of control and makes the situation far easier to cope with.

My Least Favorite Things About Gentleman -

That as Henryk he will cat call Abella. Saying, “would you look at that behind.” To which she rightly threatens him with a wrench. Made me want to reach through the screen and ‾��͟͞(((ꎤ ˋ��̫ˊ)—̳͟͞͞o!!!!

This is more haha but as Gentleman I think it’s a little hypocritical that if I describe the the mushroom dish positioned like coitus as Nudity he gets to say, “The surface of the mushroom is as silky as the butt cheeks of a virgin, yes.” BUT IF I SAY COITUS HE SAYS, “What kind of dirty mind do you possess?”

This isn’t a dislike but I forget to mention one of my FAVORITE SCENES!!!!

He then makes you give him a different answer but the little “Oh . . . But I insist!” I LOVE IT!!!! BECAUSE I KNOW “I dare not say . . .” WOULD’VE BEEN MY FIRST ANSWER. He’s so excited to hear your answer IT’S ADORABLE AND I NEED TO DRAW IT!!!!

What I dislike about Fanon Gentleman -

Fear & Hunger: Termina has a very small fandom and from what I’ve interacted with most people really like Gentleman! My first post just simping for Gentleman had so many fans leave nice replies on how great and lovable his character is (ﾉ ^▽^ )八( ^▽^ )ﾉ”!!!

As for Henryk I wish he received more love! I understand why he isn’t super popular since keeping him from getting moonscorched is a nightmare 💀 I kid you not you need to talk to him seven times in a row to snap him out of confusion. Plus he’s a little lame and has less screen time HIS LAMENESS IS ENDEARING!!! Also I don’t blame people for wanting to see Gentleman instead ꉂ (˃̶᷄‧̫ॢ ˂̶᷅๑ ) I would too.

#THANKS FOR GIVING ME AN EXCUSE TO RAMBLE ABOUT HIM SKUD <3!!!!!#Fear and Hunger Termina #Fear & Hunger Termina #Gentleman #The Mayor #Henryk #Long Post #MaddyMoreauPost

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sallyteeheesblog · 16 days

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The Shocking Case of a 15-Year-Old Girl Who Murdered Her Grandparents: What Led to This Tragic Event?

"My eyes were closed the whole time." - Holly Harvey

In the year 2004, 15- and 16-year-olds Holly Harvey and Sandra (Sandy) Ketchum murdered Carl Collier, 74, and his wife, Sarah, 73, who were Holly Harvey's grandparents. This blog post aims to take a look into the crimes of Holly and Sandra and provide background information on the killer lovers lives before.

Harvey and Ketchum

Let's start with the background information. Holly Harvey, who grew up on the outskirts of Atlanta, Georgia, had always grown up in a bad setting. She was subjected to her mom being a sex worker and forcing her into sex trafficking at a much younger age. She was always a child with too much "freedom" and very little discipline. However, everything changed in the spring of 2004 when her mother was taken to prison. Holly had to relocate to live with her strict Baptist grandparents, Carl and Sarah Collier, who immediately had rules set in place for her. She eventually turned to sneaking out and such later on.

Sandy Ketchum grew up in a dysfunctional household where her birth mother never cared for her. She was severely neglected and never taken care of, even being left in her dirty diapers and having nothing to eat. Her father, Tim Ketchum, had later divorced his wife, and remarried 3 more time. Sandy's first stepmom was wonderful, yet she had suffered multiple brain aneurisms and brain damage from surgery. Her second was the worst, subjecting her to physical and emotional abuse, though Sandy's father never believed her until he finally saw it. His last was who Sandy considered her real mom, she loved her. But as time went on, Sandy hung around the wrong crowd, and started sneaking out and skipping school. Between kindergarten and 8th grade, Sandy has to be transferred more than 10 times. Finally, they transferred her to Flat Rock Middle School, Where she met Holly Harvey.

Meeting

When Holly and Sandy met, it was like they were immediately drawn together. Sandy had gotten along instantly, and soon they were smoking weed, staying out late, and doing everything with each other when they could. Sandy's father had also approved of Holly, saying she was one of the nicest kids he had ever met. Soon, Holly and Sandy began to fall in love with one another, with Sandy being the one to ask Holly out. And the fact that they had lived in an extremely conservative area didn't clash very well with them entering a lesbian relationship, being call "scandalous" and even being called homophobic slurs by their peers just for their sexuality. Soon, they began skipping class even more than what they had been, mostly hanging out in the woods where they would hangout and get high. Holly's grandparents later restricted her from being able to see Sandy because of their relationship, as they also had the conservative mindset.

The Planning and the Crime

The girls had gotten the idea of killing Harvey's grandparents after staying out all night and listening to music in the basement Harvey had stayed in. Ketchum had suggested for them to take the truck "to get something to calm us down," as Holly stated. "We'll have to kill them to do that," Harvey said she responded. That's when they first got the idea.

They prepared for this by taking the biggest knives they could find from the upstairs kitchen, and practiced by stabbing the mattress that Holly had slept on. Once Holly's grandparents had come down to get a suitcase, she stabbed her she stabbed her grandmother, Sarah Collier. Her grandpa, Carl Collier, had tried to intervene, pinning Holly to the ground, but she ended up stabbing him in the chest. He then ran up the stairs, chased by Holly, as he tried to pull the landline phone out of the wall to call for help. There was a blood trail left on the walls from where he tried to keep himself up with the wound.

Their Charges

The teenagers were charged with two counts of felony murder, two counts of malice murder, and one count of armed robbery. The maximum sentence the girls could have faced was of life in prison without the possibility of parole.

Extra

While Holly Harvey stabbed her grandma, she had her eyes closed the entire time.

When asked why she did it, Holly simply replied with "for Sandy, so that we could be together."

Police say they found a to-do list of sorts scrawled in ink on Harvey's arm: "kill, keys, money, jewelry."

There were books written on the case, such as All I Want To Do Is Kill by Dale Hudson and If You Really Loved Me by Kevin F. McMurray.

Below are the sites used for this project

please mrs.denns ive been listening to crack baby by mitski for over an hour please give me and alaina a 100 please and thank you good night gosh

#school project

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true-blue-sonic · 11 months

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Around midnight last night I saw a completely unrelated Twitter post that made me think of a Sonic '06 AU where Espio is also in Soleanna during the events of the game and he's the first person Silver meets instead of Amy. I could imagine Silver being intrigued by Espio telling him about Soleanna's past (and that could also potentially help Silver connect a few dots about Solaris and Mephiles on his own?) and they decide that maybe they could watch next year's Festival of the Sun together (1/2)

(2/2) but obviously because of the ending of '06 where the whole timeline gets reset, that one dream of theirs will never come to fruition; at least not in the way that they'd intended in the original timeline. Perhaps after they meet again in the fixed timeline and eventually get together, they could go visit Soleanna of their own accord without knowing of their lost promise, and both of them could be hit with a strong sense of deja vu, but what would've been the original feeling is long gone.

That's a really interesting idea! Espio and Amy are completely different people, so their whole meeting with Silver likely could not be more opposite if they tried. At the very least, Silver is not going to be jumped on due to being mistaken for Sonic! Hmm... From what I know, Silver goes around asking the NPCs in the overworld about a blue hedgehog, right? Maybe he gets the jump on Espio (more figuratively) to ask him about Sonic, and immediately all Espio's "something is wrong here" senses begin tingling. Perhaps for Sonic's sake, he decides to tag along with Silver and see for himself what is happening? And in that way, he can see that Silver is a good, helpful person at heart, making him only doubt more just what the heck is going on with the whole "kill that blue hedgehog" bit?

Silver 100% would love hearing more about where in the past he ended up at, and Espio is glad to give him some history details like the accident with the royal family. I indeed like the idea that he can mention there is much not known, but suddenly the king died and the Princess became incredibly withdrawn, or something. Silver would be eating up everything told to him eagerly! And I think with that interest and his kindness shown to all the people, Espio can convince himself that Silver does mean well and is simply misguided... until they run into Sonic, that is. Maybe here Silver also managed to sneak off in a moment of distractibility from his companion, and Sonic nearly dies before Espio can intervene? His speech afterwards with Silver definitely will be different than Amy's, and maybe he'll try to see Silver's side in the argument more, but I can't imagine it does their friendship much good. If Espio leaves Silver to his own devices, yikes... But if he is angry at Silver, I can see him want to have some time alone too. Whatever it is, the whole situation is definitely a similar blow to Silver's resolve as Amy's speech was!

And I love the idea that after all is said and done they still manage to find their way to the Festival of the Sun <3 We know from Sonic Channel art that Silver has attended, so I don't think it's a stretch Espio can somehow end up there also, be it deliberately with Silver or just by them running into each other at the festival itself. The deja vu will be strong, but I think they'll be really happy that they are there, together, and all seems to be well with the world🍀

#giving me Strong Fanfic Ideas here haha #silver the hedgehog #espio the chameleon #espilver #sonic 06

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dr-jem-nutcase · 1 year

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Monster vs Aliens OCs

Warning: long post

My h/c is that there were other monsters throughout the years in Area 5X that weren't around as long as the four main monsters when Susan was captured, like the Invisible Man. These are my two contributions to this supposed string of short-lived monsters. This is gonna be a LONG post, so fasten your seat belts!

von Wolfmann

a werewolf from Germany. He was in Area 5X from 1958-1965 and the first monster there.

Abilities & Personality:

His abilities as a wolfman were strength, agility, speed, and moderate resistance to physical harm. In this form, he was muscular and tall (almost as tall as Link). But in every transformation, he lost a lot of his human reason and conscience, and whatever he could remember after reverting was like a fog with faded distorted noises. He slowly learned to retain some amount of human reason and conscience but sometimes he couldn't achieve that. The only thing that could kill him was a silver bullet or another wolfman/werewolf. He was very stubborn and oftentimes serious, so he often came across as crotchety and cold to the other monsters. If you were nice to him, he'd warm up to you in due time, even if you didn't speak German. He LOVED music, especially anything that reminded him of home. He learned to play an instrument (probably the piano) at an early age but stopped, so he barely remembered how to play it when he came across one several years later. He oftentimes sang to himself, especially in the years before Link, the next monster, was captured. The Invisible Man couldn't carry a tune and Dr. C largely only hummed something while working, so von Wolfmann was pretty much alone in his endearment for music. As a wolfman, his hands-down favorite food was fresh raw meat. His hands were too large for silverware, so he had to use his bare hands and later on a complementary napkin

Backstory:

He was born and grew up in Bavaria (in modern-day southeast Germany, early 1880s). His former name is unknown. He was bitten by a cursed wolf at the age of 6 and, after accidentally killing 1-2 family members within the first transformation, ran away from home and went to live in the forest away from humanity where he was first bitten. Over the years, he fought off other werewolves/wolf-people in that part of Germany and killed them all by the age of 18 in order to protect humanity (turn of the century/early 1900s) and even found and killed the cursed wolf that killed him, perhaps putting an end to its terror and the terror it caused. He was caught shortly afterwards and placed in an insane asylum, sometimes in solitary confinement off and on. He was misdiagnosed as an epileptic, but after each "seizure", anyone who was in the same room as him would be dead or seriously injured. There was little to no belief that he was actually a wolfman. He escaped after 3 years and in the process was shot and almost died (1910s). This cycle repeated itself a couple times throughout the years (capture, asylum, escape) (1920s-30s). Upon his last escape, he knew what the German government was up to in World War II and tried to stay out of the Nazi regime. Unfortunately, he was found and captured again and used as a means of extermination in a Nazi death camp. He could never forgive himself for that. He escaped during Germany's defeat (1940s), found his way back to his homeland, and lived alone as a hermit (1940s-50s).

Capture & Imprisonment:

In 1958, he was found, arrested, tried (amazingly, had to do it at any time other than a day with a full moon), and sentenced to death for his crimes against humanity (before, during, and after the war), but the USA intervened in his death sentence, took him into custody, and brought him to Area 5X to lock him away from humanity and turn his death sentence into a life sentence. Being 2 miles underground, he was perpetually stuck in mid-transformation: the abilities and height of his full wolfman form but now fully retaining his human reason and conscience. He REFUSED to learn English when given the opportunity, but he was so relieved and a bit happy that he wouldn't be a full fledged wolfman anymore. These final years were some of the better years of his life. But despite being directly away from full moons, he got a bit irritable and short during the days of a full moon, not much different from the PMS moodiness a lot of girls get. Link came in 1960 and fought with von Wolfmann for a couple days until the wolfman put him in his place. After "taming" Link, he took him under his wing, taught him German as a first language, and sort of had a father-son relationship with him. He talked with Link during most of his imprisonment, and Link, after learning English from the Invisible Man, became a crude translator between the rest of the monsters. von Wolfmann called the Invisible Man "Unsichtbare", the German word for invisible, and Dr. Cockroach "Kakerlake", the German word for cockroach.

Demise and legacy:

He died of old age in his sleep in 1965. Reverted back into a human when he died. His body was never sent back to Germany, not only because whatever family he had left couldn't be identified and found but because he was and still is regarded by the German government as a war criminal. His cell is completely sealed off and serves as his tomb, never to be opened again. Link was pretty devastated at his passing and Insecto sort of filled that void in his heart. He's forgotten most of the German by now but remembers some if something in German pops up like in someone else's conversation or in a movie/TV show.

The Cyberian

(pronounced like Siberian), also known as Cy, an unfinished cyborg from the former USSR. She was in Area 5X from 1981-1985 and the second female monster in the facility's history.

Abilities and personality:

Her left arm was a power cannon that could shoot power beams when her wrist was fully bent downward and her fist was clenched. Her eyes lit up in the dark and could be a projector of her memories like a video. She was resistant to most physical pain and her longevity was expected to be longer than the average human's, maybe even longer than Dr C's. She couldn't be suffocated but she wasn't waterproof due to her cyborg-transformation being incomplete, and her body, like most electronics, would begin to shut down after half a minute of being submerged in water. If rescued within that time frame, she was drowsy and weak but eventually recovered. Ultimately, the only thing capable of completely destroying her was herself. She was brutally honest, didn't believe in flattery, told something like it was, and had to be trained in the art of discretion. Like, she wouldn't be afraid to slap a Karen across the face and tell her to shut up. But down to the bottom of it, she was sweet, gentle, and friendly. In cases of strong emotions, she absent-mindedly spoke more Russian than English, oftentimes forgetting that no one else understood her. She LOVED chocolate and wasn't expected to share, even if she got a giant bag from Costco.

Back story:

She was born in October 1962 in Yekaterinburg [in modern-day Russia] and raised there. Her former name is V.P. Telegina. Her parents divorced when she was 2. She was raised by her dad and paternal grandparents, and her mom hardly had anything to do with her. At the age of 18, she, an aspiring engineering student, was kidnapped and partially transformed by her uncle, a scientist unofficially and secretly working for the Soviet government, to be not just a cyborg--a walking, talking weapon disguised as a human being--but the link and key to a weapon of mass destruction. He was going to use another subject but after having a fallout with her father--his brother and also a scientist, he decided to retaliate. Her father, trying to help her, was framed for assault and imprisoned. She was taken into custody by the government until her uncle could get her back and complete her.

Capture and imprisonment:

She was rescued and smuggled out of the country by USA spies within the following two days of her being held by the Soviet government. At this time, her transformation was only in progress and would be permanently halted. She was the only monster who chose and agreed to have her name changed and be locked up in Area 5X. Her "capture and imprisonment" were a coverup to keep her hidden from the Soviet government. However, she wasn't told that her fellow inmates were monsters when she brought to Area 5X, so she was definitely afraid when she met them but, after learning they weren't gonna kill her or anything, she came to love them and referred to them as her boys. She actually could've left the facility in 1992, shortly after the USSR collapsed. She was proud to be Russian and always would be. However, she didn't approve of needless violence and attacks against humanity (like what's been going on in Ukraine. She would've HATED Putin), especially since she was transformed against her own will for the sake of assaulting innocent people. She spoke only Russian when she arrived but learned a good amount of English from the Invisible Man and Dr. Cockroach as time went on. She and Link taught each other English and Russian swear words. She was only monster who didn't call Dr. C "Doc" (other than von Wolfmann); she had always called him "Doctor". She was present when the Invisible Man died in 1984. The two had bonded in a father-daughter relationship over the years as he kinda reminded her of her own father, so she was pretty upset. Throughout her "imprisonment", she put up a front of toughness sometimes, especially when she first arrived, but really felt overall vulnerable and often uncertain, sometimes afraid, of herself. She had quite a bit of pent up anger and depression about her transformation, who did it, some post-divorce childhood problems courtesy of her mom, etc., but she couldn't express or confide them well due to her poor English skills. She was never happy about being a cyborg. The only way to make her happy about it was to either revert her back to her fully human form or put her to good use.

Demise and legacy:

She committed suicide in 1985 (in her cell after excusing herself from the common room) by shooting her head off when she learned via newspaper that her father, the only person who not only knew how to restore her to her original human body but was willing to do it, was executed [this was when Monger allowed the monsters to have copies of their formerly local newspapers] and that she would always be a cyborg, a means of death and destruction, forever. She was 22, the same age Susan was in the movie. This type of parallel pulled a lot of heartstrings for the rest of the monsters, especially since Link and Dr C briefly saw the aftermath of her suicide right before Monger sent them away to their cells. The two unnecessarily felt responsible to some extent for what happened and, when Susan came, Dr C vowed to never let that sort of tragedy happen again. Cy never shared what she read in the newspaper, and none of the monsters could read or understand Russian, so only Monger, via a Russian translator, knew why. Her suicide was the main reason Susan had that "Hang In There" poster in her cell in the movie. Another part of Area 5X has participated in a few different experimentations since the 1950s, like nuclear weaponry, aquamation (cremation with heated alkaline water instead of fire) and whatnot. Robosapien's body was used in cryonics testing shortly after her death and so far she's still intact and well-preserved to this day. Only Monger and a few long-time personnel in the Monster Containment Facility know. However, with the advancement of technology and modern science, some scientists in Area 5X have contemplated reviving her as a semi-artificial human, and it would be possible because she's a cyborg. It's a morbid, disturbing concept that a handful of people are uncomfortable with, but overall her future is unknown.

BONUS - A/U if Cy was still alive by the timeline of the movie

She chose to stay in the facility after collapse of the USSR in 1991, which the news totally blew her mind. Fast forward...she was a bit apathetic towards Susan's case at first, believing that her size was irreversible, and for that reason is the only monster who doesn't call Susan by her human name. It's either "Ginormica" or "Ginochka" (first 1 [or 2] syllable[s] of a name + "-ochka" is a Russian take on nicknames/terms of endearment for people). The only time she called her Susan was when the monsters were trapped in Gallaxhar's ship and urging her to leave. Nevertheless, Cy cares about her and is protective over her like the cool streetwise older kid mixed with a mama bear; their relationship isn't a besties one. She finally embraced herself as a cyborg because her being finally has a sense of good and purpose: saving the world. She wants the rest of her transformation completed in order to better help Team Monster. She was introduced to alcohol shortly after her release and LOVES hard liquor. She and Monger are the ultimate rivals in a drinking game. A couple of the monsters want a wifi hotspot to be one of her transformation features, but she has already said a big NO. She's been regarded as beautiful, like Susan, probably being featured on the cover of Vogue at least once. Russians hailed her as a hometown hero, and the Russian government tried to claim all the credit for saving the world.

#monsters vs aliens #mva #monsters vs aliens oc #mva ocs #wolfman #von Wolfmann #cyborg #the cyberian

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actualhumancryptid · 1 year

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I am doing my obligatory yearly rewatch of The Wire early, this year. And one thing I always really love about this show is the way it asks and answers its own questions over the 5 seasons.

In Season 1 we have D’Angelo Barksdale’s main arc. He reaches a turning point towards the end of those 13 episodes, with the decision to co-operate with law enforcement and live a different life in witness protection. This turning point is familiar to viewers as The Right Thing To Do, from countless other movies and shows on law enforcement.

But D never does get to follow through with his police co-operation, because his family get to him last minute. His mother turns him by stoking a deep fear of loss and the unknown in him. What would his life even be, without his family? His people? And so, D’s run on the show finishes with his own syndicate killing him, while he is in prison.

His arc is mirrored in Wallace’s that first season. In Wallace, we see that same fear of loss of self/home that comes with being a protected police witness, and the return to the familiar that leads to his death.

The viewer might observe this and think, ok, neither D’Angelo nor Wallace got to follow through on witness protection/police co-operation. Maybe this was a missed opportunity for them? Did they miss out on the chance to survive and lead a better life?

But in Season 2 the show gives us this answer in Frank Sobotka. By the end of his Season 2 arc, Frank is determined to tell the police and FBI every detail he knows of the criminal enterprise he was working for. But institutional failures in the FBI, due to corruption and information leaks, get him killed before he is able to tell the police anything at all.

Ok, then, the viewer might think. But what if there were no leaks, what then? And the show immediately gives us his nephew, Nick, who does co-operate with the state and live. But he experiences the thing that D’Angelo’s mother used to turn him in Season 1. He loses his connection to home and his self-identity. And it is a hollow kind of survival.

Right, the viewer might think next. So law enforcement obviously can’t be trusted. Maybe the real trick for these characters was that they should have kept their mouths shut. Stayed a good soldier, and remained loyal to the criminal syndicates they were part of?

The show is way ahead of you there. In Season 3, we are given the example of Cutty. One of the loyal soldiers who worked for the Barksdales back in the day. He did his time in prison, fourteen years of it, and never wavered from his loyalty to them. Then he is released from prison and finds himself utterly out of time, and lost to himself. He tries to go back to his life before prison, but that doesn’t fit him. He ends up moving on from ‘the game’. And all he has to show for his loyalty is time served, and trauma, as he works to find something to build a new life with.

Ok ok, the viewer might say. So maybe, if there is no escape from ‘the game’ once characters have gotten involved with it, the answer lies in the children. What about education? Surely intervening early will give these characters a chance? They can graduate, go to university, and do ‘anything [they] want’, like the fixer says of his own children, to Frank Sobatka in Season 2.

Season 4 pulls no punches on this one. It follows a group of children starting their school year at a Baltimore middle school. It shows us how they are set up for failure, due to poverty and an absence of any real social safety-net, the lack of support in their home lives, the financial draw of the drug trade or other systemic failures.

This kind of escalation, this ask and answering as the plot of the show develops season to season, is just as nihilistic in its depictions of the characters working the Law Enforcement/Political side of things.

In Season 1 we immediately see that the homicide detectives in the Baltimore Police Department only care about clearances, they don’t care deeply for each case, not the way you’re used to being spoon-fed in copaganda shows and films. They would rather a murder not get solved, then be the one stuck with the bad stats.

The viewer might find themselves hungry for the Cop That Cares, and is immediately rewarded because Jimmy McNulty is given to them from the very start. He’s going to fix things, surely. Because this is the narrative progression we have come to accept. One good cop doing right, that’s what will make the difference.

The show wastes no time in showing that he is a selfish fuckup in his personal life. But again, this is a trope we are used to. it’s fine. He will still fix things, he is crusading to go after the Bad Guys after all, when no one else is listening or caring.

The show exists to disabuse us of this notion. And if his arc is Season 1 isn’t enough, it hammers it home season after season, as every level of law enforcement, the legal system (basically every government entity including the media) is shown to be broken in countless ways. Broken due to selfish incompetence, or by design.

And so, what starts in Season 1, as a wish for the police to take Avon Barksdale down, turns into something else looking back. You begin to see how pointless all that work was, how futile. How performative. The show will not let you get away with any form of hope that things might get better, for even the people who push for change, or fight for justice in a broad sense, will fail to follow through as the system they’re working within grinds them down.

Not a cheerful show, on the whole. But at least it feels true. (Though admittedly, Season 5 really beats you over the head with it).

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calliethetrekkie · 8 months

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Triumvirate Prompts: Day 19

#19. Favorite Spock Moment

Because I suck at just picking one thing, I shall give you a Top 5 list, and will also do so for Kirk and McCoy's prompts. So for Spock, going off the top of my head in no particular order...

1. The Naked Time Breakdown

Am I a horrible person for picking this? To me, this is when Spock began to click as a three-dimensional character. Up to that point, he'd been the smart character. The composed, no-nonsense, logical second-in-command who was the smartest man in the room. He'd spoken about being half-human before and how he was able to live with it... but we see here that no, it's not that simple. Upon the illness removing his emotional control, he gets into a conference room, tries to use his usual methods to keep himself controlled, and just... breaks down into tears. It shows us that there is more to this guy. He does have feelings and emotions that he keeps suppressed, and the more that the show goes on, the more we realize why. It really helped open Spock up as a character for me.

2. Climax of The Galileo Seven

My opinion of this episode probably differs from some, since I think that Spock is very much culpable for some of the troubles in the episode and that he earned the mistrust of the crew. He's clung so hard onto his logic and come across as a cold hardass with a superiority complex, and refuses to listen to anything that anyone else has to say or suggest. All that did was lower morale and worsen the situation. But here? With nothing left to lose, Spock is finally able to let that logic go and do something utterly insane by ejecting the shuttle fuel. It's an utterly insane plan that by all means should have failed... but it didn't. It shows us that Spock can make the more, for lack of a better word, human choice and take the risk. Sure, he tries to deny it at the end, so he still has a long ways to go. But it's still a step in the right direction and a great piece of character development that saved the day at the end.

3. Protecting McCoy in Bread and Circuses

Okay, this one might be self-indulgent, but can you blame me? It's such a good moment. He and McCoy have been bickering all episode, even more than normal. But once they're forced into the arena with McCoy hopelessly out of his depth, what happens? As soon as he's down, Spock intervenes and nerve pinches the opponent before McCoy can be harmed. Remember by doing this, he broke the rules and Kirk thus volunteers himself for execution to spare the two of them. That means by saving McCoy, he's condemned Kirk. He tries to play it off as losing the doctor would be consequential to the ship, but McCoy doesn't buy the BS, calls him out on his emotional suppression, and makes it clear that he's worried about Jim also. All because Spock won't just admit that he saved McCoy because he cares about him and panicked. I think it goes a long way into showing that McCoy understands Spock more than he thinks and bringing that to light to him and giving more insight on how ashamed Spock can be when it comes to his emotions. It's a strong scene for both Spock and McCoy, but it goes a long ways in allowing us to better understand Spock.

2. The Sacrifice in The Wrath of Khan

I don't think you can mention Spock moments without bringing up this scene. It's arguably the most famous moment in Star Trek history. With the ship in danger, Spock acts to save everyone. He knows full well that he'll be killed by radiation, but he doesn't hesitate. McCoy tries to stop him and gets knocked out/given Spock's soul as a result. Spock sacrifices his life to save the many. To save his friends. Yes, we all know that he gets brought back at this point, so maybe that undermines the impact a little, but it's still such a strong moment. After watching Spock grow and struggle all these years, it all culminates at this moment. The moment where he says goodbye to Kirk? Yeah, that's... that's a lot.

5. This Scene from The City On The Edge Of Forever

EDITH: [...] You know as well as I do how out of place you two are around here. SPOCK: Interesting. Where would you estimate we belong, Miss Keeler? EDITH: You? At his side, as if you've always been there and always will.

It took me forever to think of one more thing for this list. I'm not even sure if this one really counts. But I thought about this, and it seems like the perfect moment to end on. I am nowhere invested in the Kirk and Spock relationship as the vast majority of the fandom is. I'm sorry, I like them, but there's just nothing worth exploring with them for me. But there is no denying how loyal and devoted to Kirk that Spock is. There's so many episodes and moments that I can point to showing this. But I think that this bit in The City on the Edge of Forever sums it all up perfectly. He's always right by his captain's side. Whether it be to follow him into a mission, keep him focused on his captain duties, throw himself in the way of harm for him, he is always there. He outright calls Kirk his closest friend (as well as McCoy, we are NOT taking McCoy erasure on here) in Amok Time hence why he asked him to go with him to Vulcan. Their trust in each other is so strong and Edith Keller, who has pretty much known them for just a few hours, puts it perfectly.

...also Spock's reaction when Kirk insinuates that working with 30's resources is 'asking too much' of him. Seriously, his face when Kirk dares says that.

It's so beautiful XD

#star trek tos #terms of service-tober #spock

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opoxun · 2 years

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Ken Amada: Character Analysis

Note: the analysis contains spoilers. Suicide and death are mentioned.

The theme of Persona 3 is death. All the characters in the game are related to it, directly or indirectly. To release the persona, the user must expose the brain to the limit between life and death by the guns (evokers) that are fired at the head. That the final boss, Nyx, (primal goddess of darkness in Greek mythology) is an evolution of Thanatos (death) is another important element. It is also no coincidence that the research area is called "Tartarus", the afterlife of the classical world. There are enough details about this for future analysis, but this time I want to focus on one of my favorite characters from the video game: Ken Amada.

Ken Amada is the youngest member of the SEES, being invited by Shuji Ikutsuki as a homeless orphan. Why precisely him? Well, his mother was a member of the SEES, accidentally killed by Shinjiro Aragaki on a mission. Ken saw the perfect opportunity to get revenge on his mother. He himself joins the organization demonstrating the potential of his persona, Nemesis (Greek goddess of revenge). No one knows his true intentions.

Shinjiro Aragaki accepts the proposal to return to SEES when he knows that Ken is inside, perhaps because he wants to fix things, perhaps because of regret. But the fact is that both he and Ken live together without mentioning what happened.

Ken is waiting for the anniversary of his mother's death, on October 4. That night, which curiously coincides with a mission since there is a full moon, Ken asks Shinjiro to meet him in the alley where the accident took place.

Ken fails to carry out his wish. Takaya Sakaki intervenes and explains to Ken how Shinjiro is slowly approaching death due to the pills he takes to suppress his powers.

The night ends with a magnificent plot twist: Shinjiro gives his life to save Ken from Takaya, to which Ken cries with mixed feelings.

These are the events: let us now turn to the psychology of the character.

His mother is murdered, being he a spectator of what happened. Faced with the pain of such a brutal loss, Ken's first thought is suicide. The only thing holding him back is the sadness her late mother would feel knowing that he had taken his own life (but in any case, it is mentioned that he wanted to kill himself after murdering Shinjiro. The bloody thought hasn't left his mind). Lost and aimless, he needs to cling to something to move forward, but the pain does not allow him to think about himself; the conclusion is therefore revenge.

For two years, Ken has tried to fight that duel every day: drawing strength from the rage and hatred, forging a shell both inside and out, fantasizing about the moment of stabbing his mother's killer. And with all this killing him little by little inside him, because hatred, more than harming the one on whom it is projected, harms the thinker himself.

And you will say: well, it is a common revenge story that we can see in many series. But everything gets drastically worse when we remember that Ken Amada is only TEN YEARS OLD. What's more, if his mother's murder was two years before the events of the game, this all started when he was 8.

While his classmates were learning to divide, he was fighting the lost of his mother and also against himself. While his friends were playing tag, he was meticulously calculating ways to assassinate the killer, thinking how he could best honor the memory of his mother.

Ken doesn't trust adults. He mentions (I couldn't find the moment, sorry) that when he went to tell a police officer what had happened, he blamed it on a hallucination due to the trauma of the kid. He understood, then, that he was alone in all this: it was a task that he had to carry out in the most absolute silence. (However, Ken gets along perfectly with Koromaru. The dog will be his battle partner in the later fighting game Persona 4 Arena Ultimax.)

Can you imagine the maturity and strength required to cope with all this on your own? The split between Ken and the other kids his age is obvious: the boy has grown up too fast, and that can sometimes be a real curse.

When Ken understands that he will not be able to kill Shinjiro, he decides to give his own life: his journey has ended here because without revenge he has lost the reason to live. But to add more to the frustration, it is Shinjiro who saves Ken by giving his life for him. How must Ken feel about this? Completely useless and confused. He probably feels that Shinjiro has not only taken his mother's life from him, but also the will to decide on his own life. And of course, he must be lonely. Very lonely

After a few words with Akihiko Sanada, Ken understands that his desire for revenge has been an excuse all this time for not accepting the death of his mother. Finally, he decides to live for his mother and for Shinjiro. This is the moment when his persona evolves into Kala-Nemi, the Vedic god of the wheel of time… (Although the god is a rakshasa, that is, a demon. This could also point to the dark nature that Ken will always keep inside him.)

Therefore, at just 10 years old, Ken Amada has overcome the trauma of seeing his mother being murdered and has learned that hate leads nowhere. For that he has had to suffer the unbridled desire for revenge and suicide. How many adults have been able to achieve this maturity? It would be wonderful if everyone could reach this state of worldview, but every path is different. Although he is a science fiction child, I believe that Ken Amada can be an inspiration to achieve that spiritual wisdom that makes life better.

Death is a sensitive matter for all human beings, and that's why I think it's a game that Persona 3 is a game that touches your heart. All the stories deserve credit, but I think Ken Amada's stands out above the rest. I know that he is a character that can cause irritation (he is a repellent boy, although in my opinion, that makes him even more adorable), but with this analysis I would like you to reflect on his feelings to understand his character a little more, taking into account above all the following: he is only a ten year old boy.

#ken amada #persona3 #persona 3 FES #persona 3 portable #analysis #persona 3 dancing

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