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— Pairing: Eren x Reader, friends to lovers

— General info: series, 18+, modern AU, serial killer AU, smut, fluff, angst, hurt/comfort

— Summary: Fate is a tricky thing. Certain situations can’t be avoided as much as certain people’s lives can’t be kept from intertwining. With a serial killer on the loose, and unexpected relationships blooming, how will the universe intervene?

— Chapter summary: The news of the recent murder takes a toll on everyone, leaving each to cope in their own anxious ways.

— Content warnings: mention of murder, mention of self defense weapons.

— Notes: Hello, everybody! Welcome to chapter 6 <3 Thank you so much to everybody who has shown support for this story, especially those who have joined the tag list. If anyone else would like to be added, lmk. Happy reading!

Links: Read on AO3 | Chapter guide | Masterlist

conversations on love and fear

The next morning at work, you're surprised to find Armin leaning back in your chair when you arrive at your desk.

“Shouldn't you be crunching numbers somewhere?” you tease, shrugging off your jacket.

“I'm here for our daily gossip session,” he pouts.

You laugh softly and gesture for him to follow you to the break room. He jumps from your chair and eagerly follows your lead.

“Since when do we have those?” you ask, taking out your mug from the cupboards to fix yourself a cup of tea to have while you go through your morning to-do list.

A sly grin is plastered on his face.

“Since you started dating Eren.”

Normally, you're good at hiding your emotions. A neutral expression and an unfazed manner are your go-to for any situation. A blunder at work, a rude client taking out their anger on you, misogyny, unwanted flirting — you handle everything with grace and composure. But normally, you're not as emotionally invested in someone as you've quickly come to be about Eren.

You're quick to hide your face, embarrassed by how easily shy a name can make you when just a few weeks ago you were still your stoic self.

You understand their friendship dynamics well enough to figure Armin wouldn't be kept out of the loop for long, but this is fast.

Armin chuckles airily. It's cute, this new side of you.

“I didn't mean to keep it from you,” you murmur, your cheeks burning as you bob the tea bag up and down in your mug before sweetening your drink. “It just kind of happened.”

“No, I get it,” he grins. “I'm happy for you two.”

You bite back a smile but nod appreciatively.

“Eren really likes you.”

“I know,” you murmur, heart fluttering at the memory of Eren's honesty. You bring the mug to your lips, blowing into it before taking your first sip.

“And you seem to really like him, too. I've never seen you like this.”

The tea gets caught in your throat, eliciting a brief fit of coughs.

Armin can't help but laugh once you're out of immediate danger.

“Oh, you really really like him, then. Way to go, Eren,” he teases.

Your face burns tenfold.

Worried that someone might overhear you, you usher Armin onto the smoker's balcony on your side of the floor. It's too early for anyone to be out there, so it's the perfect spot for you to be honest.

“I… I really do.”

Your entire body is burning up now. Much so that the warmth emanating from your mug overstimulates your senses and you've no choice but to set it down on the concrete railing.

Gaze low, wandering eyes, fidgeting hands — Armin's surprised.

“You're serious about this,” he concludes.

Peering up at him through your lashes, you nod.

“I don't know what to do,” you murmur. “I didn't expect to like him so much and now every time I think of him I feel like I'm about to pass out.”

Your voice quivers but your eyes shimmer brightly as his face inevitably comes to mind. His warm hands, his gentle voice encouraging you to trust him, his boyish laugh, the blush on his cheeks whenever you praise him. You're always so confident when acknowledging his fondness of you, and you kept joking about having many admirers but now it gnaws at your brain to think about someone else looking to get his attention. It's all too much.

“Goddamn, that must've been one hell of a first date,” he exhales.

Armin's choice of words pulls an amused giggle from you, easing the tension that squeezes at your heart.

“It was.”

Your gaze wanders off as you lose yourself in thought.

Eren hasn't left your mind since he dropped you off at your apartment door yesterday evening. The carefully planned date, the honest conversation and the kisses you shared even found a way to sneak into last night's dreams, your subconscious further feeding into your swooning frenzy and leaving you to wake up unusually happy.

But as life has taught you, having something good doesn't mean you get to keep it forever, and if you want Eren to stick around you have to be more open about the things that haunt you — for both of your sake. You want to keep talking to him, to know him, to see more of his face, and to witness every side there is to him. You haven't outright said it because though you might appear to be, you're not as brave as he is.

So hearing him say he wants to know you just as much leaves you thinking his wish might be twice as strong as yours, for him to express it so many times in so many ways.

“You okay?” Armin's voice pulls you back.

Your lips part for you to spill what's heavy on your mind, but you fumble to find the right words without feeling more shy.

“Hey, Eren's my best friend but if you need to talk shit about him, I can listen. You're my friend, too.”

You giggle. He smiles.

“Though, I guess now I've lost you both to each other,” he theatrically sniffles as he pinches the bridge of his nose and shakes his head. “I really didn't think this through when I introduced you to each other. What am I gonna do with no friends?”

You laugh.

“Actually,” you softly call for his attention. “Is it okay if I ask you about some things? About Eren… and about myself?”

His head tilts in confusion at the last part, but he smiles and nods nonetheless.

“Shoot.”

Nursing your mug between your hands, you carefully take another sip of your tea before speaking.

“First… um.”

You blink nervously as the uneasy warmth starts crawling up your neck again.

“Do you know if Eren is talking to other people? Aside from me?”

The question feels stupid once it falls from your lips, but Armin gives off no indication that he views it the same way.

With a firm shake of his head and furrowed brows, he clicks his tongue in disapproval.

“Eren? No, definitely not. I love the guy but even if he wanted to, he can't flirt with multiple people at a time for the life of him.”

You nod, letting the information sink in.

“Don't get me wrong,” Armin continues. “He has a line of people wanting to get close to him. It's been that way forever.”

Your heart sinks with dread. You figured as much. After all, Eren is an attractive guy and his personality makes for someone desirable in all aspects.

“But he's never been one to give in to any attention just because it's there, you know?”

You nod slowly, though you don't fully understand what that means.

“What I'm saying is, Eren's the kind of guy who doesn't care about that kind of thing. He only pursues someone he genuinely wants to know. And once that happens, he's all in. Other than that, he just keeps to himself.”

With more clarity on the situation, you nod with more certainty. But Armin's not done.

“He hadn't liked someone in years until you came around. That should tell you something,” he smiles.

You flush in embarrassment.

“Oh, but don't feel pressured!” Armin exclaims. “I just meant you shouldn't have to worry about this sort of thing.”

He throws an arm around your shoulders, squeezing your frame affectionately.

“Anything else on your mind?” he asks.

You hum as you go through the ideas in your head.

“It's not really a question,” you say. “And now that I think about it, it probably doesn't make sense to bring it up because I haven't been exactly open about it with you, either.”

You shrink into yourself, wincing at the memory of Armin's fallen demeanor the night he found out about your parents.

“That's fine,” he reassures you with a smile, petting your back in a comforting manner. “I know some things are hard to say sometimes. It's not really my place to call dibs on who you should trust.”

“But still,” you murmur. “We're friends, right?”

He nods.

“I just don't want you to be disappointed by my lack of honesty.”

He frowns.

“I wouldn't call it that,” he sternly replies. “You don't have to tell me more than you already have for me to understand you had a rough upbringing. And you're not being deceitful or purposely hiding things… but it doesn't come easy, that's all. Some things are better kept private, it's your call.”

Tears prick at your eyes as your body releases tension you weren't even aware of. For the longest time, you've tried your best to avoid being a liability. At the same time, once Armin came into your life, you struggled to reciprocate his open nature. Once Eren was in the picture, so desperate to know you, you scrambled to cement boundaries. But truth be told, you were consumed by the anxiety that he might walk away from your stubbornness and you'd lose his affection. Being told you're not an awful person for being closed off brings peace to your weary heart.

“That being said, I promise it wouldn't be the end of the world if you chose to let someone in. Have it be me, Eren, or anyone else. We're all here for you as your friends. I don't think it compares to professional help but for a support system, we're pretty solid. You can trust us.”

Quietly, you nod with a serious expression.

Armin contemplates your pensive features for a long, quiet minute.

“Is that what you're having trouble with, with Eren?”

Meekly and with your bottom lip between your teeth, you nod.

“I've told him some stuff. Nothing too serious, just pretty surface-level things but… he keeps saying he wants to know everything about me.”

Armin smiles crookedly.

“Is that a bad thing?”

The question echoes in your ears as you force yourself to contemplate it.

It's not a bad thing for someone to be so willing to figure you out because they care. But the never-ending worries always slip through the cracks. Will he be okay dealing with the weight of your past? Will it somehow change his mind and push him away? Will he somehow empathize with everyone else's point of view and ultimately decide you're difficult to love? Not worthy? That you're too much trouble?

“I want to be good for him.”

Armin’s gaze softens. It’s inappropriate given the tone of the conversation, but he can’t ignore how much more adorable your demeanor has gotten in such little time. Eren must have saved a country in his past life to have you so smitten.

He pats your head affectionately, like that of a father comforting his kid.

“What makes you think you’re not?”

Your bottom lip quivers as you open your mouth to emit a string of fearful but honest whispers.

“Eren’s so nice… I just worry I have too much baggage and he’ll feel obligated to stick around. I don't want to be a burden.”

The mug of tea has grown cold in your hands and the autumn wind sweeps away your confession, carrying it to unknown destinations while its ghost lingers between you and Armin.

It’s a long, painful silence before Armin’s voice slices through it with the wisdom you’ve come to admire.

“Listen. I think you're a pretty remarkable person. And nobody gets to pick the cards they're dealt. I don't think you have to conceal parts of yourself and if someone makes you feel like you do, then you leave. There’s no perfect right person but a right person for you will stick around because they want to… baggage included.”

Eren’s computer screen is littered with multiple tabs and video-editing software. The fan practically sounds like it’s about to lift the CPU into a different dimension. It doesn’t help that his mind keeps straying from the workload before him by conjuring the headlines he saw earlier this morning.

Normally, he’s so efficient. He loves his job so much, it’s basically a fun time. But not when someone he cares about is in potential danger. Now, it’s just work.

“Just two months ago, our city was struck by the brutal murder of twenty-six year old Ilse Langnar. And now another woman was murdered? What is going on?” a comment on a public forum read.

His knee bounces incessantly as his eyes aimlessly wander his screen through his glasses, and he’s continuously forcing himself to go through the same clips over and over again because he keeps forgetting what’s been done and what needs to be.

For the umpteenth time, he huffs in frustration, running an anxious hand through his hair.

He simply cannot focus today.

As if someone out there can sense his lack of discipline today, they come in with an easy distraction. Eren’s phone buzzes on his desk, promptly pulling his attention from the loopy chaos in his head.

“Is mace the same thing as pepper spray?” a masculine voice comes from the other end.

Eren pulls the phone from his ear just long enough to get a look at the name on the screen.

“Jean?”

Normally, Jean would quip a comment about how offended he is that Eren can’t even recognize his voice through the phone. But not today. His words are rushed and there’s plenty of movement from his side.

“I’m at a store buying some stuff for Mikasa but I can’t figure out which one is better. I think Mace is the brand? Because it says pepper spray in the description but there’s also one that says water trainer… what the fuck is that?”

Eren’s already pulling on a jacket before Jean can even finish venting his frustrations on other confusing terms.

“Which store?”

“Huh?”

“Which store, Jean?”

“Ammo. It’s on Reiss. Why?”

With his phone snuggled between his ear and shoulder, Eren clumsily pulls on his shoes and snatches his keys from the small dish in the foyer.

“Send me the location. I’ll be right there.”

He hangs up the call, trusting Jean to fulfill his request as he walks out of his apartment and to the parking garage.

Eren walks into the shady-looking shop. There’s an arrangement of weapons everywhere his eyes fall, the most dangerous ones displayed behind hefty locked glass doors on the other side of the counter.

Upon entry, Eren’s hit with several once-overs from the clientele scattered through the aisles closest to the door. He nods politely at the buff man in his immediate view, hoping he doesn’t seem too lost.

His eyes search for a familiar tuft of ash-brown hair over the aisles. As soon as he finds him, he makes a beeline.

“Jesus Christ, Jean. Why’d you pick this place?” he hisses. “You couldn’t have gone to a sports goods store or something? The grocery store, even. They have stuff there, too.”

Jean dismisses him with a wave of his hand and instead shows him the collection of items in his basket.

“Look, I got some pepper spray for the girls.” He holds up a package with two different colored products bound in plastic and cardboard. “Turns out the water trainer is just a cartridge with water so you learn how to use it without wasting any product.”

Eren peers into Jean’s basket, making note of every product he’s picked up. Pepper spray, tasers, and personal safety alarms — all in sets of three.

“What?” Jean asks, looking back into the basket on his arm upon noticing Eren’s wandering eyes.

“There’s three of each,” Eren simply says.

“Well, duh,” Jean scoffs.

One by one, he raises three fingers, listing off a name for each — Mikasa’s, Sasha’s, and yours.

“She’s gonna need this stuff, too,” he adds.

Eren’s lips curl inwards, but he follows up with an appreciative smile.

“Thanks, buddy.”

Jean mirrors his expression, tying it off with a brotherly pat on Eren’s back.

“You can pay me back in installments, I don’t mind.”

Jean walks off toward the cash register, leaving Eren to contemplate the nearly endearing exchange with pursed lips.

The men go through the line and exit the store together.

“So you saw the news, too, huh?” Jean asks as he absentmindedly swings his keys around his index finger on the way to the consecutive spaces where both men’s cars are parked.

“This morning,” Eren murmurs. “I haven’t been able to focus on work.”

“Me neither,” Jean mutters. “I drove over to Mikasa’s at two in the morning to make sure she was okay because I kept freaking out every two minutes.”

“How is she?”

“She was a little annoyed I woke her up but she let me stay the night.”

Eren chews on the inside of his cheek as he contemplates whether or not it’d be weird for him to show up unannounced at your apartment like Jean did with Mikasa. If he had known about the recent murder the night before, he would’ve definitely raced back to your place. But he supposes you’re not at that place in your relationship yet.

They reach their cars but neither makes a move to part ways. They both lean against the trunk of Eren’s car.

“Has Levi said anything, though?” Eren asks.

“Nah, just keeps telling her to stay safe,” Jean replies with a shake of his head. “It’s a little weird, though. You think it’s the same person from September?”

Eren shrugs but Jean sees right through his dismissive behavior.

“I do, too, to be honest. It’s pretty scary shit,” Jean’s voice shrinks with every word.

“Yeah, it is,” Eren admits. “And if Levi is being so cryptic it’s probably because he has to.”

Both men stand together in silence for a moment, unsure of how to part ways on such a somber note but finding too much comfort in each other’s company to bid goodbye.

Eren sighs heavily as he mindlessly traces the line of a crack in the asphalt with the tip of his foot.

“Hey, congratulations, by the way,” Jean says.

Eren looks up at him, eyebrows knit in confusion. It’s not until Jean pronounces your name that he understands what he’s referring to.

“You guys are going out now, right?” Jean grins.

Eren blushes, a smile instantly working its way onto his face upon hearing the words from someone else’s mouth. It’s a good feeling, to be reminded of this new beginning in his life.

“Thanks,” he laughs. Then pauses. “Wait, how did you know that?”

Jean nervously scoffs as he avoids Eren’s piercing emerald gaze.

“Um… you told me? How else?”

Eren’s eyes narrow; Jean gives in easily — partially.

“Fine, Armin’s been yapping away about it but he made me promise I wouldn’t say he told me. He’s a huge blabbermouth, you know?”

He discreetly breathes a sigh of relief when Eren doesn’t press further, seemingly accepting his word as the truth. After all, Armin was supposed to be the only one to know the details so far.

“Figures,” Eren mutters with a shake of his head, but a pleased smile threatens to tug on his lips at the thought of everyone else finding out.

“You think she's the one?” Jean abruptly asks, already preparing to tease him.

When Eren turns to look at him, he's got a shy smile playing on his features.

“Come on,” he says.

Jean throws his hands up in the air.

“Come on, what? It's a valid question. We're on our way to thirty.”

“We've only been on one date,” Eren replies, as if that's an answer in itself.

“So? You were into her from the start, weren't you?”

Eren blushes, still embarrassed that everyone was aware of his crush.

“Yeah,” he meekly replies.

Jean looks off into the distance, smiling over Eren's bashful demeanor. Though not blatantly obvious about it, he cares for Eren like a brother. It's just a lot more fun to bicker and annoy each other. That's not to say he lacks appreciation for heart to heart conversations like this.

“I knew Mikasa was the one pretty fast,” he confesses.

A chuckle escapes Eren's lips.

“Well, yeah, but you guys were years in the making.”

“Even so,” Jean murmurs. “I knew she was the one since we were kids.”

“Jean, she used to bully you in fifth grade,” Eren reminds him. “She beat you up because you wouldn't stop following her around like a lost puppy.”

Jean bites back a grin, cheeks dusted with pink at the memory.

“What can I say? I have a thing for pretty girls with a killer punch.”

The two men share a laugh.

It's moments like this, that break the chaotic pattern in their dynamic, that reminds them their relationship goes beyond eye rolls and snappy comments.

“You know I'm proposing soon?”

Eren turns to look at Jean, eyebrows raised in surprise.

“Seriously?”

Jean glances at him proudly.

“Mhm… This December. I've got the whole thing planned. We're spending the holidays at her family's cabin. I'll do it then. I already talked about it with her parents.”

An immense sense of pride swells in Eren's chest at the news. He always figured his friends were on their way to forever, but the admission to something concrete makes him incredibly happy.

“What if she says no?” he teases, dipping into his usual ways out of habit.

“She won't,” Jean firmly states without missing a beat. “I love her and she loves me. It's like you said, we're years in the making.”

He throws his head back to look at the cloudy pale blue sky.

“I'm gonna give her her dream wedding. It'll be the event of the century,” he gushes, then side-eyes Eren with a smirk. “I'm sure someone will invite you as their plus one.”

Eren rolls his eyes.

“Haha.”

“I'm kidding,” Jean laughs. “But with all this… what I mean to say is, when you know, you know.”

Eren thinks for a moment.

Has he ever known?

He certainly feels something — a very special way about you. There's not many experiences to compare it to but it certainly feels different somehow when he recalls his last and only girlfriend so far. His caring persona has always been present. The blushing cheeks, the shy confessions. But was instant nature enough to call your situation different? He's never been so eager, never felt so hurt at the thought of someone in pain, never felt so inclined to embrace someone with everything he has, never felt so fascinated by someone.

But that's normal in the honeymoon stage, is it not?

Jean slices through his thoughts.

“And you don't have to think so much about it because it really just hits you out of nowhere. One day you meet a girl and you just can't bring yourself to stop looking at her because she's the prettiest human you've ever seen. You'll come up with excuses to spend as much time as you can with her. You'll want to know everything about her, see every side to her there is — the good, the bad, the ugly… you won't want to miss a single thing. You'll feel yourself falling so deeply in love it drives you crazy. She'll be everything. Your world will start and end with her. It sounds insane but trust me, it's the best feeling ever.”

Eren peers at Jean's expression. He's got a ditzy air about him, a lazy smile stretched across his face. He meets his gaze, suddenly serious.

“I know Armin's your number one for everything but… if one day you decide this girl is the one… call me up first, for once.”

Eren's features soften.

“I'll fucking blow up a thousand balloons to celebrate.”

He laughs at the offer, recalling an image of himself rushing to blow up the balloon letters for the night Jean made things official with Mikasa.

“I will.”

An accomplice's smile is exchanged between them. Jean is the first to stand.

“Kay… well, I should really get back to work,” he says, fishing his phone out of his jacket to look at the time. “My boss is gonna kill me if I go over on my lunch— dammit!”

Eren watches amusedly as Jean rushes to the driver's seat and starts his car, throwing a hasty goodbye over his shoulder.

Before he can peel the car from its spot, Eren walks over and taps on the window, calling Jean's name.

“What?” Jean huffs, annoyed at the delay. But Eren only smiles.

“Just wanted to say thanks.”

Jean's features twitch in surprise, but he's quick to replace it with an amused eye roll.

“Anytime, Jaeger.”

Armin's back at your desk at the end of the day, hands in his jacket pockets and waiting in silence.

“Give me a minute,” you say, briefly glancing at him in between placing an order for office supplies before you leave.

He nods, wandering off to a cluster of cubicles and slumping into the chair of an empty desk, spinning around a few times while you finish up.

Several clicks later, you head to the building's lobby together. As the elevator goes down, Armin turns to you with concern.

“Hey, you want me to ride the bus with you?”

You tilt your head in confusion.

“Just to make sure you make it home safely,” he explains.

You wave your hands in front of you, dismissing the idea.

All day, the office has been rattled by the news of the Halloween party murder. It started with a simple ‘Did you see the news last night?’ and went on to become a trending topic amongst your coworkers.

It was a bit off-putting that everyone seemed so eager to talk about it, like they'd been waiting for someone to bring it up first so they could go through the details of the story over and over in one morbid loop, until they could feel themselves growing numb at the tragedy.

It's true you're still a bit rattled from last night's news, which is likely to be the same reason Armin's offering to do much more than walk with you to the bus stop, but you don't want to give him any trouble.

“I'm good,” you say. “Besides, by the time you get back it'll be dark out.”

Armin parts his lips to ask if you're sure, but his question is cut off by the sound of your phone buzzing in your pocket.

He catches a glimpse of Eren's name flashing on the screen.

“Hello?”

Armin watches you exchange a brief series of quiet words into the call. When you hang up and he asks you what happened, you seem mildly flustered.

“Eren's waiting for me in the parking lot,” you murmur.

The two of you make your way out the building, searching for Eren's navy blue sedan. It's a quick task, given that Eren's standing right in front of it, looking out for you as well. He waves you over once your eyes meet.

Armin and him share a brotherly handshake before he steps closer to you and murmurs a gentle hey.

“What are you doing here?” you ask, taken aback by his sudden appearance.

“I thought you could use a ride home,” he explains nonchalantly.

You hesitate, a hint of guilt gnawing at you from the inside. You're grateful for the offer, but it bears a weight on your shoulders that he went out of his way to pick you up. It's the same as if Armin had kept you company on the bus. He doesn't have to do that, it's out of his way and it would only get him back home later than he needs to be, while you're the only one who ends up benefitting.

Eren senses your hesitation and glances at Armin for clues.

He's quick to recall the conversation you had this morning, where you let it slip through the cracks that you don't want to be a burden to anybody.

“Come on,” Armin smiles at you. “He's dropping me off, too. Right, buddy?”

Eren's quick to follow his lead, nodding with vehemence.

“Yeah, of course.”

Your gaze flickers between both men, who just smile at you — one with concern, the other with encouragement.

Finally, you nod and slip into the copilot seat as Eren holds the door open for you.

The ride is quiet on your end, save for when Eren asks about your day and you briefly tell him it was fine and ordinary, leaving Armin to do most of the talking.

Armin's the first to be dropped off, as he lives a mere five blocks from the office. But the journey to your apartment building is much longer than a couple of minutes, and it's consumed by silence most of the way there.

Eren allows you to keep to yourself during the ride, though he can't ignore the concern that weighs his stomach down at the idea that showing up so suddenly might’ve caused you discomfort.

But if it means you'll for sure make it home in one piece while there's a criminal running wild on the streets attacking women of your likeness, he'll bear the uneasy consequences.

“Here,” he says, holding out a plastic bag for you to take once you're both at your apartment door.

“What's this?”

You peer into the bag, eyes widening slightly at the self defense weapons inside. When you look back up at him, he's got a stern air about him.

“It's dangerous right now. I want you to be safe.”

“You didn't have to spend your money on this,” you murmur, brows furrowed. “I'll pay you back for everything.”

Eren shakes his head, holding your wrist down to keep you from pulling out your phone.

“Just take it,” he sighs. “Please.”

Eren's pleading gaze scans your features, heart shrinking at the detection of a hint of discomfort on your behalf. You blink several times, a sign that you're nervous about something. But you murmur a strained thanks in the end as you hook the bag on your wrist.

He exhales a sigh of relief.

“I better get going,” he says, brushing a hand through his hair before leaning closer to kiss you goodbye, but you turn your face at the last second, letting his lips press into your cheek instead.

Eren steps back, embarrassed by the exchange but choosing not to say anything. Just worriedly searching your face, hoping you'll meet his gaze with the same tenderness you granted him just yesterday.

But you don't. You keep your gaze low, so he can't even try to get a read on you, and murmur a solemn goodbye before shutting the door behind you.

Eren's parked in front of your building when you walk out the main entrance the next morning.

He calls your name gently, careful not to startle you when you nearly miss his presence.

You slide into your designated seat without a hint of protest this time, but you keep to yourself, much like the night before.

Eren keeps glancing in your direction at every red light, racking his brain for a way to get you to talk to him. It's just the two of you in the car, after all.

His mouth opens a few times, only to be promptly shut when he fails to find any words.

Surprisingly, you're the first to speak.

“You really don't have to do this.”

Normally, when people make such a polite rejection it's because they secretly want the other person to stop — because their actions make them uncomfortable or because it's annoying — or simply to seem polite because, truth be told, they enjoy being tended to.

But you actually like that he wants to take care of you this way. You like it so much it scares you that you'll start relying on his kind nature too much. The guilt that stems from his willingness to do things for you is suffocating. No matter how pleasant it is for you, you're far more worried about robbing Eren of his time and energy. Even if it's his idea, you don't want him to think you're spoiled.

“I'm doing it because I want to,” he murmurs, stepping on the gas pedal as soon as the light turns green. “There's someone out there attacking women… You're safer this way. You don't have to take the bus anymore.” He smiles. “Think of it as one of the many perks you get out of dating Eren Jaeger.”

The reminder of a criminal freely roaming the streets you've walked on sends a shiver down your spine.

Eren spares quick glances at your troubled expression.

Why do you seem so conflicted over him trying to keep you safe?

“I'm allowed to worry about you, you know,” he gently expresses, his voice as warm and comforting as ever.

It only makes the knot in your stomach tighten.

“And I'm saying you don't have to.”

You didn't mean to sound harsh, but Eren's upturned eyebrows tell you otherwise.

“Why are you so upset over this?”

He doesn't mean to raise his voice the slightest bit out of frustration, but it makes you shrink in your seat anyway.

Eren's features shift from upset to defeat. Neither of you exchange a word until he pulls up in front of your office building.

“I'm doing this because I care,” he murmurs, voice falling back to the gentle tone he reserves for you.

“I can take care of myself.”

You intended to sound confident — defiant, even. Like some rebellious teenager who refuses to be taken as a child.

“I know,” he says. “But that doesn't mean I can't.”

Your bottom lip is caught between your teeth, which chew nervously on the skin while you find a way to retaliate.

“I don't want to burden you.”

Eren's heart sinks, gaze softening as he reaches over the center console to lift your chin between two fingers.

“You could never.”

You shake your head.

“Saying that doesn't mean anything to me.”

“I'll show you I mean it, then.”

There's so much warmth in his cool-toned gaze. He looks pained almost, silently pleading through his eyes to allow him to do something as simple as drive you to work. To him, it's far from a bother. In fact, it brings him peace. Not to mention he enjoys the extra minutes he gets to spend with you.

An annoyed honk from the car pulling up behind you startles you from Eren's warm stare, forcing you to pull away from his touch to gather your things.

Eren's hand latches onto your wrist before you can open the door to get out.

“Wait.”

You look back, ready to remind him someone is waiting behind you. But his upturned eyebrows and the concerned glassiness in his eyes stop you from uttering a word.

“Are we good?” he murmurs, voice laced with helplessness.

It's the look of a kicked puppy that has your stomach churning with guilt.

You nod, quickly leaning over to press a kiss onto his cheek, but without the bright expression that would calm his nerves.

“I'll be back at six,” he calls behind you before driving away, still confused and anxious.

The hours of your day go by slowly, consumed by the exchange in Eren's car.

All too overwhelmed by the idea of potentially becoming a nuisance to him, it never occurred to you that you could cause him equal distress by refusing any act of service he offers. Being good for him also means granting his wish to take care of you.

You're such a jerk, you think to yourself. What happened to craving his care?

There's a fine line between relatively good traits morphing into negative ones. Devotion can transform into obsession, loyalty can turn into blind foolishness, confidence can evolve into arrogance, and so on.

There also comes a point when one's insecurities evolve into genuine fatal flaws if you don't do anything to handle them with care. So much concern over being a liability might just end up costing you your relationship with Eren before it even reaches the good part. If you keep pushing him away and make him feel as though there's no room in your life for his kind-natured feelings, you may as well continue living in solitude.

The ride back to your apartment at the end of the day is as silent as the last time.

There's no flirty banter, no teasing, no laced hands as you find the way to your apartment, no shy smiles.

Eren waits for the lock on your door to click open, as per usual, before stepping back and forcing a smile.

He murmurs a goodbye and you helplessly stare at his back as he takes the first couple of steps down the hall.

But just as he's about to take a third, he turns on his heel and makes his way back to you.

“I know you're mad,” his voice is weak, and a nervous stutter slips through but there's a determination lacing every word. “I get that it might be weird for me to show up out of the blue at your job and insist on driving you wherever you need to go, but I already told you that you can't stop me from worrying about you, I want to make sure you're safe an–”

You desperately wish to hear everything he has to say, but the need to kiss the sadness from his face outweighs it.

Your lips slot carefully between his, your guilt relieved by his sudden call-out. You hate being scolded. It makes you feel small and worthless, drained of any confidence that would allow you to defend yourself. But he's done it so kindly and while wearing such a vulnerable expression, it makes your heart soften.

He melts into the kiss, his hands instantly finding a home around your waist, pulling you closer while he tries not to spill any tears that were already threatening to stream down his face while laying down his convictions.

His eyebrows furrow in concentration as you cradle his face in your hands, tenderly kissing him, absorbing his relieved sighs.

After two days of scarce physical contact, thinking you've been too upset to kiss him as you usually do, this is absolute heaven.

“I'm not mad,” you murmur, as you pull away, brow furrowed and eyes lined with tears.

“Well, I know that now,” he sniffles as he caresses your cheek. “Talk to me.”

You clear your throat, unsure if the middle of a hallway is an acceptable place to have a heart to heart conversation, but unwilling to put a stop to the feather-like strokes his thumb traces on the apple of your cheek as he waits for you to speak your mind.

“Everything between us is so new,” you begin. “You have to give me some time to get used to this.”

He blinks several times as he tries to understand what you just said.

“Dating?” he asks.

“Everything.”

You blink up at him, tear droplets clinging to your lashes.

“When I say you don't have to do certain things it's because I don't want to make your life harder. I don't want to be a nuisance.”

“You're not, baby, I swear.”

The affectionate term slips from Eren's tongue without premeditation.

“Not yet,” your voice cracks. “I don't want you to get sick of me, I already like you too much.”

The tears spill down your cheeks as suddenly as your trembling confession rolls off your tongue.

Your words form a lump in Eren's throat. Though your admission is sweet in nature, no force could keep his heart from crumbling at the sight of your weary eyes, glossy with tears that continuously stream down your cheeks. Nothing has ever hurt so much.

His strong arms envelop you in a warm embrace so tight you're positive he's trying to glue you back together by force. Your childlike sobs are muffled against his chest — hiccups, shuddered breaths, and all.

“I'm selfish and I like it too much when you take care of me but if I start relying too much on your kindness, I'll start burdening you and you'll leave,” you cry into his shirt. You're almost certain you've messed up his clothes with your tears and streaks of your makeup, but Eren couldn't care less.

“That's not going to happen, I'll make sure to prove it to you,” he vows while pressing velvet kisses onto your hair. “I'll be happy if I'm the first person you run to for anything you need.”

Loosening his hold on your frame, he leans back to look at your face. It's full of streaks of dried tears traced with makeup, your eyes puffy from your brief but intense crying, and a ghost of a pout on your lips.

A hushed chuckle bubbles up his throat. His eyes crinkle in further amusement when you accentuate your pout at him for laughing.

“You silly girl,” he murmurs, pressing you back into his chest. “Don't you realize how much I like you?”

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taglist: @erenjaegerwifee@youatemylollipop@okaystopwhore @bakuhoethotski

#icymi <3 #self rb

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emepe · 4 days

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My favorite sex position is when you love them and they love you back.

#I'm simply not capable of having sex with someone unless I have feelings for them sorry 😞#I'm only a whore in theory 😞

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emepe · 4 days

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I will open the fucking TikTok app just to watch this video multiple times

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emepe · 4 days

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No offense but minors will parade around trying to protect a fictional character and then go insert themselves into porn spaces and hard kinks. girl go save yourself you're the child in danger

#!!!

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emepe · 5 days

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— Pairing: Eren x Reader, fwb with feelings

— General info: 18+, modern AU, one-shot, smut, fluff

— Summary: Everyone is suspicious that Eren Jaeger has a secret girlfriend or at least a new body. What they don’t know is that his secret affair is with you.

— Content warnings: nsfw, vaginal sex, handjob, light bondage, femdom if you squint (Eren likes being tied up), role switch, mentions of drunken make out, vaginal fingering, mutual pining.

— Notes: I haven't written smut for Eren in a while, but here you go. Happy reading, bubs!

Links: Read on AO3 | Masterlist

Or at least a secret person who's kept him from overwhelming you with his flirty attitude and incessant date proposals. The change in his demeanor was obvious from the start. Your friends noticed it right away.

Eren Jaeger has a secret girlfriend.

Overnight, he simply stopped trying to persuade you into going out with him.

If anything, this shift in dynamics brings peace to your group. Nobody has to put up with Eren's cringey pick-up lines and you seem more relaxed than ever now that Eren's off your back.

You've always made it clear to him that you just want to be friends, yet that's never stopped him from shamelessly insisting how great you'd be together if you just gave him a chance. But now that he's no longer waking his friends’ second-hand embarrassment by forcing them to watch him get rejected over and over again — they have to give you credit, you've remained incredibly patient — the only explanation is that he's spontaneously over his crush, or he's found someone else to fixate on.

Whichever the case is, he's awfully secretive about it. Nobody has met her and he hasn’t even mentioned a name. All they know is he has a goofy grin when the group splits at the end of your get-togethers and he rushes to his confidential rendezvous. But perhaps that's for the better. If he's not talking about it, then it means whichever poor girl he's lured in isn't a ploy to make you jealous.

As your weekly poker night comes to an end after everyone has come down from their weed-induced high — it's your turn to host — and everyone takes on a different task to tidy your living room, Eren is especially quick to wash glasses and finish off everyone's self-assigned duties so goodbyes can be bid sooner.

Everyone heads out the door and into their cars to drive back home.

Eren lingers in front of your house, as his hands fumble around his glove compartment long enough for his friends to disappear from view. With one last glance over his shoulder, he hurries back up the steps to your front door and eagerly knocks a coded beat.

When the door cracks open, you're looking up at him with a neutral expression.

“I think I forgot my lighter,” he grins.

With a roll of your eyes, you pull him inside by his shirt and shut the door.

A short while later, Eren's wrists are tied to the bed with a silk scarf and he does his best to resist the urge to thrust into your hand, as you jerk him off at the laziest pace you can manage. His torso is littered with the searing sensation left by your lips when you kissed down to his V line minutes earlier.

Eren's bare chest rises and falls heavily as he watches himself grow big enough that your thumb can no longer reach your fingertips.

A soft mewl leaves his lips when your thumb brushes over the head of his cock, the gentle friction sending a tickle up his spine and causing his nipples to harden.

“When can I tell our friends we're together?” he asks, admiring the black lace set that adorns your body. The thin straps of your thong disappear into the crease of your thighs as you rest on your calves before him. He hasn't pointed it out, afraid it might embarrass you if he did, but he's noticed you've gotten into wearing sexier pieces of lingerie as the weeks have gone by.

He didn't mind the plain cotton underwear from the first time you pulled him aside to tell him you'd give him one night and no more — pink bikini cut panties with a little bow at the front— but he's not complaining about your recent style evolution, either.

You raise a quizzical eyebrow.

Eren barely acknowledges your expression, but clarifies anyway in between shallow breaths.

“O-or… you know just t-tell them that we're sleeping together.”

Your lips tug into a smile.

“You want them to know you like being tied up and jerked off by me?”

An airy chuckle leaves Eren's lips as his head falls back against the pillow.

“Yeah… I kinda do,” he shyly admits, blinking up at you through half-lidded eyes.

After the first night you spent with Eren, when you drunkenly made out in his car and you let him finger you to an orgasm after poker at Armin's, you assumed he'd get bored and just move on. His tireless flirting always seemed like more of a joke with how juvenile he was about the matter.

Eren was known to be loyal to none else than the bachelor life, always having fun but never settling down. He went from to girl to guy, to girl again. He wasn't careless about it, but he wasn't one to get attached to his fleeting partners more than he should, either. You weren't a prude, but you learned long ago that sleeping with friends can be messy, which is why you spent months rejecting him countless times. Besides, you'd feel a bit hurt if he just saw you as one more person to conquer.

But one too many shots of tequila two months ago pushed you into a spiral of lust and hazy thinking. Suddenly, giving into Eren's advances didn't seem too bad. And considering you kissed him first, you could at least say you had some power over how you felt about it all. You wouldn't get attached, and you wouldn't expect more than you knew he could offer. It'd just be a friend helping a friend get off.

Only it didn't stop there. Eren stopped by your house the following morning to confess his feelings. It wasn't the first time Eren admitted to liking you, but it was the first time he was so earnest when pronouncing the words.

You remained skeptical. Even now, when he tries to get your opinion on revealing your relationship to your friends, you hesitate. Suddenly, you're oblivious to the pounding in your chest each time he flashes his boyish grin at you, or when he shudders under your touch and you have to hold back from viewing him through a romantic lense. Suddenly, you ignore the fact that he hasn't even talked to anyone else since that night in his car or that he's adamant about repeating how much he likes you each time he gently wipes you clean of his cum. Suddenly, you can't recall the lengthy periods you've spent browsing lingerie, thinking a little too hard about what Eren might like. Suddenly, you're clueless to the absurdly obvious that somewhere along the way, you've developed feelings for Eren and his have only gotten stronger.

“So?” he breathes, a lazy crooked smile plastered on his face.

Your hand pauses as you lean forward to kiss his cheek.

“You're cute,” you smile.

Eren blushes profusely as you pick up your movements, your hand more firm this time as it strokes his cock.

With your free hand, you unclasp your bra with agile movements, letting the delicate cups of black lace fall from your breasts and the straps to glide off your shoulders.

Eren bites back a whimper as his gaze wanders over your pert nipples.

“What was that?” you tease, giggling once Eren throws his head back like you knew he would. You soften your hold on his cock, which elicits another whimper from the helpless figure before you.

“You're getting meaner these days,” Eren mumbles as he returns his gaze to you. “Come on,” he begs, bucking his hips upwards to accentuate his pleading. “Touch me, please.”

A sigh of relief falls from his lips when your hand wraps around his length once more, your thumb brushing over his tip with a ghostly touch that has shivers running down his spine.

He connects with your gaze, refusing to peel his focus from you even when a particular stroke makes him hiss and his eyebrows upturn in pleasure. It's a matter of willpower, to not come undone before he even gets the chance to bury himself inside you.

His eyes shimmer at the image of you bending forward to trace your hardened nipples with his tip. Your nipple brushes with exquisite friction over the slit of his urethra. It sends a pleasant tingle through your chest and has him releasing shuddered breaths, breaking the dam of his mental prowess as warm cum bubbles and leaks from the tip, trailing down his length and pooling in the crevices between him and your hand.

There's no use in toughing it out anymore. You stroke him more fervently, kindly prolonging his high as he thrusts into your hand, his hips clumsy and his whimpers broken as he struggles with his restraints.

Your hand grows sticky as it slathers his release over his length, his cock still hard even after the last of the creamy white ropes finish spurting from his tip.

When you look up at him, he's got a lazy grin on his face and his eyes shimmer as they watch you adoringly. He'll never not be fascinated by how hard it is to hold back when it comes to you. But he tries his best, and it's earned you plenty of hours worth of fun.

You smile back as you press his hips against the mattress before straddling him. His breath hitches when he realizes you're preparing to lower yourself onto his cock.

Your fingers hook under your thong, tugging the fabric to the side as your free hand strokes him before he gets a chance to soften — as if that were possible; the man gets hard just by looking at you. Carefully, you line him up with your entrance and lower yourself in measured movements. Your brow furrows in concentration, your eyes closing as you replay a visual in your head of his length making its way inside you.

A pleasant burn comes from sinking onto him without much preparation beforehand, but the slick gathered between your folds from watching him writhe under your touch eases any discomfort.

“Easy, baby,” Eren murmurs, admiring the way his cock gradually stretches you open and disappears into you until you're flush against his pelvis.

A heavy sigh escapes your lips, your features softening once he's fully inside. It's been a while since you and Eren started exclusively sleeping with each other, and it only gets better each time he carves your insides to be his perfect fit. You've never felt so full, both physically and emotionally.

“Do all the people who've been on this bed get to spend the night?” you teasingly asked the first time he invited you to stay over at his place.

Eren smiled as he continued twirling a lock of your hair between his fingers, his chest still reflecting his heavy breaths as his efforts to make you cum twice that night caught up to his body.

“You're the first.”

You never expected Eren to be so tender. Even when you decided to explore new things together, there was always a moment where he'd just look at you and smile, infecting you with his amusement that ultimately ended with a shared laugh as you collapsed onto bed beside him, or further teasing which led to the most mind-blowing orgasms.

You stir your hips slowly, getting used to the feeling of him inside you. Eren can only admire from below as your hands fix themselves on his stomach and you start to grind against him.

A lazy crooked grin stretches across his face as he watches your brow furrow in concentration when you're finally comfortable enough to raise your hips and sink back onto him, grinding your clit onto his pelvic bone as you do. Your movements are sharp and measured as your arousal continues to build up and a series of pretty moans climb up your throat.

Your tits bounce to the beat of your skin slapping against his, offering Eren the most perfect view as he grows frustrated with the pink silk scarf that's keeping him from playing with the soft mounds.

“Eren,” you whine, short of breath and too clouded by lust to remember how to pronounce anything other than his name.

“Keep going… You're doing so fucking good, baby,” he breathes, and accentuates his words with upwards thrusts he makes to meet you halfway. “So. Fucking. Good.”

Your head rolls back, your eyes fluttering closed as you bite back the moan that's threatening to escape your lips.

Your hands fall onto his calves and you lean back, pulling his focus from your tits to the wet folds that swallow his cock, coating him with the glossy sheen of your arousal.

Eren continues thrusting up into you a few times, matching your rhythm and doing his best to ignore the pesky scarf that keeps him from reversing your roles and dominating you instead. You haven't reprimanded him for moving so he figures you could use a bit of help — you must be getting tired.

It's oddly fun to be tied to the bed as he grows more and more excited each time you lift your hips and your sloppy cunt is right in his line of view. It's incredibly satisfying for him to witness you fluttering around him, taking him so well as you only grow more needy, too. So he does his best to remain a good tool to help you get off.

Your forehead is lined with sweat, your features are contorted in a mix of concentration and pleasure, your thighs are growing heavier and yet you've never looked prettier in Eren's eyes.

No matter how glad he is just to watch you use him, it's a huge relief when you throw yourself forward with barely enough clarity to undo the knot on his wrists with one sharp tug of the silk fabric, and he can finally dig his fingers into your hips, picking up your slowing pace for a more fervent one.

The sound of slapping skin plays over and over again as you fall forward and bury your face into the crook of his neck, whimpering and exhaling nonsensical noises into his feverish skin as a reward for his patience.

His hands grope your ass, spreading your cheeks as he helps you meet his eager thrusts. Your nails dig into his shoulder and grip the sheets, the satisfying sensations between your legs too big for your body to carry as your breasts jostle against his chest in tandem with his relentless thrusts.

Eren's hand effortlessly wraps and tugs at your hair, forcing you to face him as you reach your high.

Sweet moans and whimpers fall from your parted lips, your half-lidded eyes looking down at him through a glossy haze.

“You're so pretty, baby. Come here and give me a kiss,” he coos, before pulling you by the back of your neck into a searing kiss that overwhelms your body further.

His tongue expertly glides inside your mouth, caressing yours and devouring each of your moans. The kiss is desperate and sloppy, with teeth crashing into each other in his futile attempts to bring you impossibly closer — as if thrusting himself into the deepest parts of you and shoving his tongue to the back of your throat isn't enough.

But it's no surprise. He's always been like this. At least, that's what you learned from day one of this secret arrangement. What you don't know is his desperation was awakened by just you.

Eren's no stranger to being a wildfire in bed, but it's different with you. His usual passion has been puppeteered by his heartstrings since the very first time two months ago. He's been a shameless flirt, it's true. But once you kissed him that night in his car, it was game over. He can still remember the frantic beat of his heart that stemmed from that very first taste of your lips. It still finds its way to him now, even when he eases his rough kiss for exhausted breaths that he releases over your open mouth.

Never before has he held so much eye contact with the person on top or below him, yet he finds a way to always have your face in his line of view to appreciate every little shift in your features. He loves the way your eyebrows knit together when you feel your orgasm coming in, and the way they soften with the washed over bliss of your high. He loves getting to clean you after and getting to hold you while you share pointless conversations as your exhaustion catches up to you — that's probably even better than the actual sex.

So as you cum around his cock and he fills you with hot ropes of white, he exhales a sweet ‘I love you’ against your lips.

Your body shivers and your legs weakly tremble as you climb off of him.

He pads to the bathroom, where he soaks a clean washcloth with warm water and comes back to find you fixing your hair on the bed.

His heart flutters as he goes through the usual motions of sitting beside you, tapping your thigh for you to spread your legs just enough for him to tenderly wipe his cum from the still sensitive spot at the center.

“What was that about?” you ask as you lean back into your hands, admiring his large hands gingerly pressing the washcloth where your thighs meet.

He glances at you briefly before smiling as he continues cleaning you.

“What do you mean?” he asks, still with that sly grin etched on his face.

Your face warms.

“Earlier, when you came,” you explain, circling around the exact words. “What you said… was that from the heat of the moment or something? Some new kink I should know about?”

An airy chuckle leaves his lips as he softly shakes his head.

“I wouldn't say that,” he murmurs. “Let's just leave it there. You can decide what to do with it later.”

You hum in response, trying your best to look composed as butterflies stir in your stomach.

You've spent the past two months being skeptical, but ignoring your blooming feelings is hard when Eren keeps surprising you with things like this. He's sweet and attentive, and cuddling in bed with random conversations is easily earning the first slot in your favorite things to do. You like brushing his hair from his face and burying your face in the crook of his neck. You like hearing him say sweet things and you like the duality of his actions in bed.

You can decide what to do with it later.

It'll be a while before you admit to the cause of the incessant pounding in your chest, but for now the feelings linger in the air as Eren pulls you under the covers with him and he presses a kiss into your hair.

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#icymi <3 #self rb

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emepe · 5 days

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Christmas if Gojo, Shoko and Geto had been able to raise Megumi, Tsumiki, Nanako and Mimiko together (Featuring Nanami)

#jujustu kaisen #gojo satoru #geto suguru #shoko ieiri #pls this is adorable

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emepe · 5 days

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- Shirley Jackson, We Have Always Lived in the Castle

#<3

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emepe · 6 days