I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again!!!!!!!

I don’t understand why everyone in the 100 fandom hates Finn???????

he was a kid raised in an incredibly hostile and violent environment (death penalty for any breaking of the rules. Solitary confinement if under 18, with likelihood of being sentenced to death upon turning 18) and you know what this kid wanted??? PEACE. He wanted to change!!!!

“bUt he chEAteD on RavEN!!” he was a dumbass 17yo who had been practically living with Raven for his whole life, and was very happy with her (he was willing!!! to take the punishment for her spacewalk!!!! he wanted nothing but happiness for her!!!!) but do you think this boy ever had a chance to know anything else? Of course not!! And so then he meets Clarke, who is also amazing, and Finn realizes that while he loves Raven... he loves Clarke!!! He was 17!!!! He didn’t know what love was!! He probably still didn’t when he DIED!!!!

“But hE DIdn’T TeLL ClaRKe!!” of COURSE HE DIDN’T!!!! Life on the ground was insane!!!! They all expected to die like every 30 seconds, and were being attacked by strange people AND each other AND he was trying to change an entire society of people and figure out just what peace/non-violence looked like when he himself had never actually known it, other than the fact that he wanted something different!!! So why on earth (pun intended) would he throw a wrench between him and Clarke??? 

I fully believe he intended to tell Clarke about Raven, just as he fully intended to end things with Raven, but these kids were literally dodging near-death on the regular and terrified out of their minds, so sorry he wasn’t absolutely perfect??? Sorry he wasn’t “cool” or “edgy” or “willing to be violent” like every single other character. Sorry he tried to do better!!! And sorry he failed!!!!!

I don’t even think Finn is in my top 10 fav characters on this show, but I have nothing but sympathy for him and what he wanted to achieve. 

[there’s another post in here about how Finn and Lincoln are incredible characters for how they defy their societies conditioning for violence/rejection of the unknown, and their mutual longing for peace.]

Think About You (The 100)

Summary: Y/N struggles after a break up with Bellamy.

Pairing: Bellamy Blake x reader, John Murphy x reader

Title Reference: Think About You x JoJo

Word Count: 1.4k

Warning: mention of sex, alcohol, breakup

✤  ·  ✤  ·  ✤  ·  ✤  ·  ✤

It had been nearly six months since Bellamy and I parted ways. The three and a half years of relationship we had felt like a waste, as if those times I spent with him were pointless.

I just need time alone to think

A stupid fucking excuse in my opinion. He hadn't had the balls to tell me he was over the relationship, that he was bored with me. That the thrill he had with me was gone. The love he had for me was gone.

Six damn months since my best friend took off and I can't seem to get rid of him. Doesn't help that our friend group mesh together but you'd think that someone that betrayed you would be easy to forget.

It wasn't. Not at all.

I missed the jokes he'd tell me whenever I was down, when Bellamy told me he hated seeing me sad. The times when I'd wake up in his arms, when he'd plant kisses on my forehead before we got up in the morning.

The random breakfast in bed he'd make for me and the only reason was that it was because he loved me. Cute surprise dates he would plan for me, all because he wanted to do something nice.

Was all of that an act? Was it all a lie? I don't even fucking know, because he dropped me as if I meant nothing to him. As if we weren't best friends before we became lovers.

Of course it hurt, probably one of the worst pain that I've dealt with in a while. Bellamy never considered how I'd feel and that maybe that was the worse part of it all.

That he turned away and never looked back

Raven and Clarke told me that everything would be alright, that I had them and they'd give him the piece of their minds. They hated what he did to me, they were as angry as I was.

They knew how much he meant to me, they were there with me when I started to grow feelings for my best friend. I even hid my feelings from Bellamy, afraid that I'd ruin the friendship.

I wish I never spoke about it, never told anyone about my feelings towards him. I wish that I just kept my mouth shut because now, it ended up like this.

"The best way to forget a breakup is to fuck someone new" was what Raven told me. I'd hesitated, a part of me wasn't ready to move on. Holding the hope that maybe, just maybe Bellamy would come back to me.

He never did, I waited two weeks and I got nothing. The days that went by just hurt more, pained me as I repeated the memories of him over and over again.

So I told myself to do it, have some fun and forget at the same time. Push all my angry feelings towards that and let it all out. But it never worked, I just kept thinking of Bellamy.

The sex with Murphy was pretty good, I didn't think I'd enjoy it as much as did. The multiple nights that he held me never help me forget about Bellamy but it was quality time that I desperately needed.

Clarke thought it'd be a mess, said that it wouldn't end well. Murphy and Bellamy already were on not-so-good terms, they always butted heads for as long as we known each other.

I didn't care at all. I wanted to do whatever the hell I wanted to do, do whatever made me feel better even if it was only for one second. Anything was better than feeling that pain again.

Raven decided we'd go out to make ourselves feel better, even insisted on bringing Murphy with us. I wasn't sure how I felt about bringing him into a social gathering, giving that the only time we've hung out recently was on the bed.

My friends then suggested on bringing Finn, Jasper and Monty to make sure it wouldn't be as awkward. It probably would help considering the four were good friends, so I agreed.

The weekend came quick, I was honestly looking forward to spending time with my friends without having to worry about my feelings. It felt nice to look forward to something, taking my mind off of everything that had been happening.

The girls and I had a few drinks while we got ready, then took a taxi to our favorite place and met up with the boys there.

Not going to lie, Murphy looked really good. Really really good. He even looked better when we were on each other on the dance floor, our sweaty skin touching as we moved to the beat of the music.

This was fun, watching Murphy bite his lip as he enjoyed being all over me. Me enjoying having his eyes and attention only on me. Him and alcohol were a good combo, made me forget about everything that happened before tonight.

Until I saw him.

Bellamy dancing with another girl, or should I say practically fucking each other in the middle of the club. Her dressed were thin, very very short to where I can kind of see her ass. His hands all over her while he grinned widely, the smile I haven't seen from him in a very long time.

But it couldn't be, why would I see him again here out of all places? Bellamy wasn't the type to go to clubs, he said and I quote "I was too old for that now" but here he was.

Next thing I knew, our eyes met. Bellamy looked over at me, blinked for a bit as the lightbulb flashed above his head as he recognized me.

But that was it. He kept on dancing as if nothing happened. As if he didn't see his ex girlfriend, his ex best friend, the girl that he claimed that he loved so much.

Sadness and anger flushed over me, I came here to have a good time, to forget about him. Of course something like this happened right?

I pulled Murphy closer, our bodies touching now more than ever. I was stupid to think forcing this would make me forget Bellamy, but I had no other choice but to distract myself.

He smirked, enjoying every bit of attention he was getting for me. It was the heat of the moment, the anger, the alcohol and Murphy standing right in front of me; I grabbed him and kissed him.

Murphy didn't hesitate, sharing a sloppy, drunk kiss as his one hand held onto my hip and his other hand on my cheek. I was honestly surprised, considering that we weren't "out" to people about what we do. I guess it didn't matter to him, and I was glad.

'Trying to make him jealous right?' Murphy whispered in my ear, 'I don't mind pissing him off.'

It didn't occur to me that that was it; making Murphy mine for the night to make Bellamy aggravated. I was calling for his attention, anything to make him look my way again.

I wanted him to know that I knew he was there, I needed Bellamy to see that I was getting the attention from someone new. I didn't care if it was anger or guilt but I wanted him to feel something towards me, anything.

Bellamy had to get over his pride and come talk to me, pull me away from Murphy and tell me I shouldn't dance with him. Tell me that he was better, that I wouldn't get anyone else better than him.

At this point, this could be the last time we'd be together again. Angry breakup sex or a last quick bathroom fuck that I'd get from him, I wouldn't mind. As long as I can get him in my arms again.

But there was nothing, Bellamy's focus was on the girl that was grinding on him. He didn't care about me, not even the slightest bit. He saw that I was there and that was it. I was just some stranger that was at the same club with him for that night.

He didn't hate me enough to come yell at me, shout at me about the stupidest reasons he could think of. I didn't have the worth to be in his mind or feelings at all, I was just there.

And even knowing that pain all over again, I couldn't move on from him. All I could do was think about him. Over and over.

Now we live

Previous chapter

Chapter: 0.07

Nova stood watching as Kane tried to blend his people with her own. It was a disaster waiting to happen. She was surprised her commander had agreed to it.

“Monin.” Kane said cheerily. “I thought we'd start with a reception then move on to training. We have a lot to learn from each other. Weapons there, please. Only Ark guards are here.” Indra along with other grounders threw their weapons into a box. “Thank you for agreeing to this, Indra.”

Indra looked him up and down, before replying with a snarky comment. “We're here on the commander's orders. I agreed to nothing.”

The council meeting room quickly became full of grounders. Kane looked uncomfortable as he spoke to Jaha in a low voice. Nova tried not to smirk as she heard Octavia telling a guard to stick his tongue up his ass. She sighed listening to Kane deliver a speech about their common enemy, the mountain men.

Nova’s eyes landed on Murphy as one of the other grounders started to square up to him. She bit down on her bottom lip as she decided what to do. With eyes on them Murphy had suggested they kept a low profile with the aftermath of Finn’s death still being raw, and a part of that was not jumping in to defend each other unless it was necessary. Nova did as Lexa said and stayed away from the ceremony, but now Nova wasn’t sure if she could go back as whispers about her involvement had started to spread. Thankfully it hadn’t reached the ears of the sky clan yet.

Murphy glared at the person in front of him, “you got a problem?”

“Yu stood der watching while Ai village was massacred.” ‘You stood there watching while my village was massacred.’

Nova couldn’t hold her tongue. “Penn hod op. Yu get in em wasn’t em.” ‘Penn stop. You know it wasn’t him.’

Murphy shrugged, “sorry man. I don’t speak grounder.

Penn stepped even closer to Murphy, causing him to push the grounder back. Kane stormed over to them. “Mr. Murphy, apologize to that man.”

“For what?” Murphy asked. “He started it!”

Kane shook his head. “Two days' work detail.”

“Work detail? I just told you I didn't do it-” Murphy challenged him.

“Care to make it three?”

Penn glared at Murphy, “you can burn just like your friend.” Murphy clenched his fist but ignored the comment. He was trying his best not to take the bait.

Penn smirked, “Hei nova? ha does Ai feel bilaik a skaikru slut nau? everybody get in Yu turned bilaik bakon ona bilaik gada in kru gon Disha. cockroach. Ai wonder chit bilaik sister would fig raun taim she could-”

Penn was cut off by Murphy punching him in the face. As a riot broke out between sky people and grounders, Murphy ignored Kane who was yelling at him, and grabbed Nova’s hand and dragged her out of the room with him.

______

Murphy closed the door behind him and spun to face Nova. Who looked bewildered by what just happened. “Are you okay?”

She nodded, “I’m fine.” Her fingers trailed over the bruise appearing on his knuckles. “I can’t believe you punched Penn in the face.”

“He had it coming,” Murphy’s eyes were glued on Nova’s fingers. He wasn’t used to somebody worrying about him, she gently pressed a kiss to the back of his hand before rubbing her thumb over his swollen skin. “What did he do to you anyway?”

‘Hey Nova? How does It feel to be a Skaikru slut now? Everybody knows you turned your back on your own people for this...cockroach. I wonder what your sister would think if she could-‘

Nova shrugged, pretending the comment didn’t hurt her. “Nothing important, just that I’m a slut, a traitor, and he was starting to talk about my sister when you punched him.”

Murphy gritted his teeth. He would have done more than punch Penn in the face if he had known what he was saying. “How do you say I’m sorry in grounder?”

Nova chuckled. “I’m fiya, why? Are you thinking of apologising for causing a riot?”

Smiling Murphy shook his head. “Hell no. I just wanted to say...I’m fiya Nova.” He brushed a loose strand of hair behind ear, “you could have gotten hurt in there.”

She closed her eyes. “I’ve been through much worse, and so have you.”

Murphy gulped down, his eyes had trailed from her fingers to her pink lips. His feelings towards the grounder confused him. From the moment he let her escape the drop-ship something changed. He had never put his neck on the line for anyone before, let alone a stranger. The grounder girl who helped him live quickly became his only friend. But now? Murphy wasn’t sure if friendship was the only thing he wanted.

Nova opened her eyes to see Murphy gazing down at her. The look made her stomach tighten, her lips parted slightly as he leaned towards her.

The door to the room swung open, as Clay, a young grounder stood sheepishly rubbing his neck. “Kane en indra are lufa au Yu both. Ai heard chit happened fou, Skai boy punched penn gon defend Yu?” ‘Kane and Indra are looking for you both. I heard what happened before, Sky boy punched penn to defend you? Causing a massive fight to break out? ’

A wide smile spread across Nova’s face as she nodded, “he don dula.”

Murphy frowned as the grounder raised his eyebrows and left, “what was that about it?”

“He was asking if it was true if you punched Penn, and caused riot.” She laughed, “Kane and Indra are looking for us.”

Great, just great.

______

“Good, Fio. Who's next?”

“I am.” Octavia stepped forward, “We're supposed to train together right?”

A few grounders tutted as the sky girl argued with Indra that she should train with them. Kane stood beside Nova who was leaning against the wall. “Aren’t you going to train?”

She shook her head, “I’ve never been much of a fighter.”

“What is your skill?” He asked curiously. Kane wasn’t dumb, every grounder he had came across had a specialsed skill.

“Archer...” memories of the promise she made to Treyton came flooding back. “Let gyon au kom foutaim.” Kane raised his eyebrow at the grounders mumble. Nova cleared her throat, “We should all try our best to let go of the past. I can teach your people how to use a bow and arrow if they are interested. And Indra says it’s okay.”

He smiled, “thank you.”

______

“I take it you don't approve.” Murphy did his best to Ignore Jaha. “I asked you a question.”

Murphy stopped mopping and turned to face Jaha. “Who cares what I think.”

“I do. That’s why I asked.” Jaha looked back at his people and grounders training together. “So what do you think?”

“I think the grounders can go to hell.” The moments the words passed his lips he regretted saying them. Murphy didn’t hate all grounders, he was pissed at them getting special treatment. “Most of them anyway.”

The chancellor waited until the hallway was clear before following John further into the camp. “I got you off work detail.” He watched as the teenager screwed his face up. “You knew my son and I'd like you to take me to his grave. Now that there's a truce, it's safe for me to go see the body.”

“Then get somebody else to take you,” Murphy spat.

“I'm told the graves are unmarked. You can show me which is his.” Jaha offered Murphy a gun, which he accepted. “You can hold a mop, you can hold and gun.”

______

Murphy scoffed as he watched Jaha kneeling at Wells grave. He had no sympathy for the man who killed his father. “Are we about done? We got to be heading back.”

Jaha didn’t take his off Well’s grave, “How well did you know him?”

“Well enough to be hung for his murder.” Murphy paused, “Clarke sugarcoated it for you didn't she?”

“What happened to my son?

Murphy sighed, he didn’t want to relive one of the worst days of his life. “Twelve-year-old girl stabbed him in the neck with a knife she took from me”

Jaha shot his head up. “Why would she do that?”

“She couldn't kill you,” he shrugged. “Yeah, so you got a lot of blood on your hands, Chancellor. Every single one of them including your son would still be alive if you hadn't sent us down here.”

Jaha stood up and clasped his hands behind his back. “ If I didn't send you, they would've died on the Ark with the rest of us and we would've never known that Earth was survivable. Their sacrifice is why we are here. Good can come out of even the darkest acts, John.”

Murph groaned as Jaha started to walk the wrong way, “Camp you is that way.”

“We'll rest at the dropship for a while.”

“Suit yourself.”

______

Murphy shook his head as Jaha continued to offer him food. “You sure? You must be hungry?”

“No one gives anything without expecting anything in return.”

Jaha looked at him with a blank expression on his face. “That's a cynical way to go through life, John.”

“You pull me off work detail, you offer me food. Why are you being so nice to me.”

The chancellor cleared his throat, as if was getting ready to deliver a speech. “Everyone deserves a second chance. That's why we sent the hundred to the Earth in the first place.”

“What a load of crap. You didn't give a damn about us. You still don't, that's why you're not fighting for those kids in Mount Weather.”

Jaha gave him a disapproving look. “I have to think of everyone. I know you don't want to hear this but sometimes you have to sacrifice the few to save the many. Like I said, good can come out of even the darkest acts.”

Murphy shook his head. The only person who treated him like a human was Nova, she showed him kindness when nobody else did. “Then you can take it from me, I was pardoned, slate wiped clean I'm still treated like dirt.”

“You made mistakes, so have I.”

Murphy glared at him, “I'm nothing like you, Chancellor.”

“No, we both should have died several times over. We both suffered at the hands of the grounders. We both have been betrayed and imprisoned by our own people.”

“So there's no place for us,” Murphy said sarcastically. “Great thought you were supposed to be inspiring.”

“There is a place for all of us. When I first landed on Earth I met a woman who spoke of a place beyond the dead zone, a place where everyone is accepted, a city of light.”

“Sounds like a fairytale.” Murphy continued to listen to Jaha’s rambles about a better life, while trying not to think about what could be happening back at camp.

______

Murphy awoke in the drop-ship to the sounds of others talking. What the fuck? He jumped to his feet, “Hey what the hell is this?”

Jaha stepped to the side to reveal a small group of people standing outside. “We're going to the City of Light.”

“You're going now? There's a million ways to die out there.”

“If it's not your time, nothing can kill you. If it is your time it only takes one.” Murphy opened his mouth to reply when Nova came into view. What the hell was she doing here? Jaha smiled at the young man’s expression. “I thought you might want some company Mr. Murphy.”

Nova quickly hugged her friend before turning to face the strange man who had asked her to join them. “Do you even have a map?”

“Nope.”

Murphy wrapped his arm around Nova’s shoulder. “Then how do you know where you're going?”

“I don't, but I won't be moved by fear. You want to stop being treated like a criminal. You gotta stop thinking that's what you are. Take this leap of faith with me, John Murphy and let me show you there is so much more for you than this.”

Jaha started to lead his ‘people’ away. Murphy and Nova watched as the group started to fo further into the forest. “Why did you come?”

“Jaha...your leader said he knows what I’ve done...he apparently knows how to make the pain stop.” She blinked away tears, “I feel so guilty. Every time I see your people...I see his face everywhere I look.”

“So you want to go?”

Nova bit down on her bottom lip. “I-I don’t know. I’m not going anywhere without you, if you stay I stay.”

For the first time in hours a smile pulled at the corners of Murphy’s mouth. He weighed up their options, they could return to camp Jaha and risk others finding out what Nova had done, or take a chance. “What the hell,” he shrugged. “My people hate me, and Lexa has practically banished you. Let’s see what this place has to offer.”

Nova leaned up and kissed him on the check. Murphy locked his own fingers with hers, as they started to catch up with the group searching for the city of lights.

No one asked this and no one cares, but here’s my personal opinions about every glee ship:

Finchel: they had their cute moments, but in general I really dislike them as couple. They brought the worst out of each other when they were together, Finn made Rachel insecure and was also incredibly possessive of her (not in a cute way) and Rachel pressured Finn too much. She wanted to control him and often tried change him, they’re too different and not compatible. I think Rachel needs someone more simalar to her or someone who can understand her, because Finn really didn’t get Rachel.

Klaine: I’m neutral about klaine, I don’t hate them, but simply I’m not invested into this ship. They aren’t toxic, but I think their relationship has many issues and is a little unhealthy sometimes.They had a good start, but as the show went on they got worse. I love Blaine, he’s my gay son, but he was too jealous and controlling about Kurt. Kudos for the gay representation, i acknowledge their huge impact on the lgbt community

Brittana: wow what can I say about them ? They’re everything, best friends to lovers excellence. Brittana had a rough start, but their dynamic became a beautiful and mature relationship in which they always supported and loved each other. Even when they dated other people, Santana and Brittany respected each other. It had and still has a huge importance for the sapphic community, it is good representation and one of the first big teen wlw couples. Brittana are the definition of soulmates

Quick: absolute trash, Puck got Quinn drunk on wine coolers and then had sex with her while she was still drunk. There was nothing consensual about that. The fact that rib never acknowledged this is disgusting. They had very little interactions, their relationship was not developed. Puck and Quinn have literally nothing in common, they’re not compatible in any way and them getting together at the end always irked me because in s3 Quinn said she didn’t care about all the boys she dated in the past. If you ship them idc it’s fine, but I hate this pairing. It’s a huge no from me, I think Puck liked Quinn only because she was hot.

Faberry: THEY’RE MY RIDE OR DIE YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND HOW IMPORTANT THEY ARE TO ME. Enemies to lovers excellence, I know faberry was queerbaiting, but I still ship them after all these years. They have chemistry, lots of yearning and sexual tension, impossibly high angst level. This is the only pairing in which I will accept the trope “homophobic jock falls in love with the person they bully”. At first they were terrible to each other, but they managed to built a nice relationship and I seriously think Rachel was the only one for Quinn because she was the only person who always showed Quinn love and support even when they were enemies. I also think that Rachel felt something more than platonic for Quinn at some point (always ranting about how beautiful Quinn is ? That’s gay)

St berry: I like them, I know they had little screen time and they weren’t even supposed to be a thing according to rib (bc they planned on making finchel endgame), but I think they’re compatible, Jesse is probably the only person who could keep up with Rachel. They have many things in common and even though he was shitty to her at first, he redeemed himself. Rachel and Jesse have good romantic chemistry and excellent musical chemistry, their duets are amazing. I’m happy they got together in the end.

Pezberry: oh boy they’re so hot together, lots of sexual chemistry, they could have been enemies to friends to lovers excellence or at least friends with benefits, but ryan murphy is a coward. I enjoy their scenes, they’re hilarious together and always make me laugh. I think they’re a pretty explosive duo, pezberry has great musical chemistry, all their duets are iconic and there’s a lot of sexual tension between them, they’re definitely compatible in bed but idk if they would last in a long term relationship.

Quinntana: this pairing was very random in my opinion because Quinn and Santana lowkey hated each other and always wanted to destroy each other, BUT they are very hot together, they’re probably the most gorgeous couple on glee because both dianna and naya are insanely attractive. Quinntana gave me my sapphic!quinn rights and I’ll be forever thankful about that, they’re compatible in bed, but I like them only as friends with benefits. I don’t see any romantic chemistry between them, mostly because they were always competing about who was the hbic of the school. I don’t think they would last as a stable couple. I wanted to see more of quinntana though.

Fabrevans: if Quinn had to end up with a man, the only heterosexual Quinn ship I tolerate is fabrevans because Sam was really kind, sweet and good to her. Sadly she wasn’t very interested in him, he was just the hot new guy soon to become quarterback and I think she dated him for popularity. I don’t think they would have lasted in a long term relationship, they were cute together romantically speaking but I don’t ship them.

Samcedes: should have been endgame, definition of wasted potential

Tike: should have been endgame, even though I don’t care about Mike and Tina they were really good together, the love was genuine. Tike is one of the few heterosexual couple I don’t mind

Artittany: is a huge no from me, they had zero chemistry and he treated her like trash, artie deserved to be cheated on lol (I’m joking no one deserves that but I really don’t like artie because he’s sexist, misogynistic and he also treated all his gfs like crap)

Seblaine: I honestly don’t see it, Sebastian was definitely interested in Blaine, but Blaine always only had eyes for Kurt. Still I think they should have dated in s6, it would have been fun to see Kurt jealous about his nemesis dating his ex bf. I like the idea of Seblaine having a one night stand, but I don’t ship them as a couple. I also don’t like Sebastian very much, sorry.

Fuinn: A HUGE NO, they were aesthetically pleasing together, but that’s it. They didn’t have sexual tension, they just had tension. Fuinn is a little dysfunctional in my opinion, they get together, they break up and then start dating again just like finchel. I honestly don’t think they were in love, but they cared about each other in a platonic way. Finn wasn’t a good boyfriend to Quinn and Quinn constantly manipulated him. I don’t like them as a couple, they’re too messy.

Blam: best friends to lovers excellence, lots of wasted potential. I’m not saying they should have been endgame, but Sam and Blaine should have dated. I like the idea of Sam discovering he’s bi or pan and exploring his sexuality with someone who cares about him. They have chemistry and I like their dynamic. I also fancy their duets and I think they could have fallen in love with each other.

Hevans: ok if I squint I can see it, they had potential, Kurt was definitely attracted to Sam and Sam was kind of curious about him, I’m sure he admires Kurt and cares about him, but I don’t ship them together

Sebtana, Finntana, Pucktana: ABSOLUTE TRASH DON’T SHIP CANON LESBIAN CHARACTERS WITH MEN, IT’S INCREDIBLY HARMFUL AND INVALIDATING. There are so many heterosexual ships, why do you have to take away from the gays the few lgbt characters we have ?

Quinncedes: i don’t ship them romantically, but I ship them as best friends. I wished their friendship was more developed, Quinn and Mercedes were so good to each other.

Quinntina: have they even interacted with each other ? (Lmao I’m joking again don’t get pressed, you can ship what you what). I don’t ship it, they’re cute and I lowkey like Tina, but it’s not my cup of tea. Still it’s a wlw ship, so I don’t have anything against it.

Wemma: no

Artie x Tina: I don’t even know their ship name, imagine how much irrelevant they are to me. Again I don’t like how artie treats women, I don’t ship them and Tina deserves better than him.

Samchel: underrated af, i’m not saying they should have been endgame because they wouldn’t have lasted in a long term relationship, BUT they were cute together. Sam was really good for Rachel, he made her more humble and helped her to heal after Finn died. They deserved more development and had a lot of potential. I don’t remember what happened in s6, but I liked samchel dating, I don’t mind them as a romantic couple, even though they’re not very compatible.

Brochel: it was not as bad as rib tried to make us believe. I don’t ship them but they have sexual/romantic chemistry and also musical chemistry. I’m neutral about Brody and Rachel, he was hot, but he was also incredibly boring and one dimensional

Julyberry: the sexual tension between them is so high, i loved it when they did all that jazz, I think they should have been fuck buddies or had a one night stand. Lots of sexual and musical chemistry, i lowkey ship them bc milf!kate hudson rights. Maybe after Rachel graduates at nyda, they could date

an interview with @easilydistractedbyfanfic (she/they)

what are you working on right now? I don’t typically take prompts, but after finding out about the Bellarke Writers For BLM Initiative and how their goal is to raise money for BLM via various fandom prompts that are requested by readers and written & illustrated by various writers and artists, I wanted to get involved. I’ve finished two prompts and am working on my third, which is a Murphy/Raven smutfic set during their years on the Ring. It’s definitely an idea I can work with - it’s over 10k at this point with a lot more to say, so hopefully the anon who requested it will end up pleased! Go check out the tumblr page and the ao3 collection - there’s various t100 pairings/ratings and you can choose the cause if you want to request a fic!

what is the fanwork you’re most proud of? I struggled with this question! My stories are all like my kids, and even if some of them could use a bit of improvement with pacing or dialogue or whatever faults I see when they age, ultimately I do love them all and I’m glad I wrote them. I do sometimes play favorites but that often depends on what I’m in the mood to read myself. That said, I really do always feel proud of my story called What You Need. It’s a darker version of Raven & Murphy, but one that I don’t find unrealistic under the circumstances of the fic. I surprised myself with where my head went on this one. In a good way, because it was really fascinating to dive into the minds of who these particular versions of the characters were. 

I’m also pleased that I have over 500k on ao3 at this point. I never expected anything like this when I started writing, and it kind of blows my mind that this is my hobby now. It’s so strange to me that there are stories in my head at any given moment now.

why did you first start writing fic? I started writing in June 2018. Never wrote any fanfic before that, ever - though I did read plenty! I wrote three stories super fast, posted them all on ao3 on the same day and haven’t looked back. I think I started writing out of a combination of just really needing more content for my faves, but also I wasn’t in fandom before s5 and was quite desperate after s4 to talk to other people about Raven & Murphy. So I needed to get the stories out but also I had this hope that it would invite conversation when I didn’t know anyone in fandom.

what frustrates you most about fic writing? Just because I want to write doesn’t mean I can. Having prompts on my plate right now, I feel a real responsibility to finish them, but even when I carve time out to write, sometimes the words just don’t feel right. The muse doesn’t always strike when I have the time available. Also, it’s super ridiculously important to me that scenes and dialogue FEEL right based on the characterization I have in my head in any particular story. I can look at a scene I’ve written, especially an emotional one, and sometimes it’s just not resonating with me the way I know it could or should. It’s tough not to just push through and post it as-is, but I know that would never satisfy me, even if it means a much longer turn-around time on a story or chapter update. Often I will find that I get an a-ha moment that cracks open a better understanding of why a scene isn’t working for me, but this can take time and I have to trust in this process.

Not to preach, but it’s also frustrating when something you spend a lot of time and effort on doesn’t get much in the way of comments. I see posting fic on ao3 as a sort of conversation, so when there’s mostly silence even as the hits (and hopefully kudos) tick upwards, it can feel really...disheartening to feel like you’re talking into a void. And I say this as someone who has been fortunate enough to have regular readers who DO give feedback! I think every writer understands that they need to write for themselves first and foremost, but I wish more readers understood that feedback and enthusiasm will absolutely result in MORE CONTENT! I try very hard to follow this guideline myself by supporting and commenting on everything I read as time permits.

what are your top five songs right now? I listen to a huge mix of songs & my childhood influenced me a lot. 

Some floating in my head include - 

Chris Cornell’s live cover of Nothing Compares 2U Indigo Girls - Romeo & Juliet The Decemberists - Once In My Life Tori Amos - Silent All These Years The Chicks - March March 

what are your inspirations (books, songs, other fic)? I find inspiration in a lot of things, which I think is lucky. One of my biggest is the characters themselves. I love getting deep into understanding who I think they are, what their motivations are and why they’d make certain decisions, whether in canon or in an AU. What parts of their personalities do they keep when they aren’t tortured and under trauma on the regular? What would happen if I change this one scenario in their lives? I could probably go on forever just based on these sorts of thoughts, but I do also find inspiration in simple things like tropes, or song lyrics and the lore of the show itself. Quite a lot of my ideas in my inspiration notebook have sci-fi themes too. A few of my stories have already touched on sci-fi topics, and I absolutely plan more of them because I love how creative that can be. I also love the idea of suspended belief - can I have sentient plant life from an alien planet that can mindread & communicate by projecting thoughts into characters' heads? Yes, yes I can! (I wrote this story, fyi - Flora Incognita, part of a series) 

what attracts you to Murven? what first attracted you? Hey, do you have all day? Ha! Seriously, I could talk about this until everyone wants to strangle me! I loved Raven immediately - not so much Murphy! But I really disliked Finn, so ep 1x10 when Raven finally broke up with him had me interested. In that ep, you can see that Murphy is present, awake & nearby in the Dropship and probably overhears everything Raven says. Then he gets up and looks at her to make sure she’s still sleeping before he carries out his revenge plans. I’m not kidding - that one look absolutely and completely hooked me! Murphy was still awful then but he was so much more interesting than Finn, and back then I remember thinking how I’d really like to see them interact as two stubborn, strong personalities, because no doubt sparks would fly. And then when they did interact more, their dynamic was exactly what I’d hoped for and then some! 

I love that they’ve seen each other at their worst and at their weakest and most vulnerable, yet they’ve built a strong foundation of trust, faith and understanding. They have so much in common but they’re also different sides of the coin in some ways too. Fandom talks about Bellarke being the head & the heart, but to me Raven and Murphy are the intellect & the instinct - they complement each other, provide some of the qualities that the other needs, their differences improve each other. For me, nobody gets Raven like Murphy & nobody understands Murphy like Raven. Maybe not a lot of people notice, but Raven & Murphy check in with each other a lot - Raven tends to say “I got this” but Murphy is the only person who replies to her “Do you?”. And Raven listens to Murphy’s ideas and suggestions and plans even when she’s known as the genius because she knows that he has valuable things to say. They have fun together, make each other smile and enjoy each other’s company, which is in such short supply in this show! 

I know there’s parts of fandom that don’t ship them because Murphy shot Raven in s1. I have a lot of thoughts on it and have had quite a few tumblr posts about it. This is a fictional show - it does not reflect reality. I’ve been on the fringes of fandom for a long time and I know shipping doesn’t always mean yes, I want to see this relationship in real life. For me, I think it’s absolutely fascinating that someone Raven should hate has become one of her closest and most trusted friends. That she forgave him, and we as the audience get to see this dynamic change and grow, and that Murphy has always felt guilty about it even though he was being presented as selfish and out for himself - it’s such a huge, huge part of each of their character’s journeys. This is getting rather meta, but I don’t think either of these characters would have survived this long or evolved to the extent that they each have without specifically being around each other. 

And I absolutely can not discuss my love for Raven & Murphy without mentioning the whole way these two LOOK at each other! OMG have you SEEN it?!?? How could I not ship them when they look at each other like that! LOL! Also, I want to keep talking about this but I’ll stop now because I truly could go on forever and anyone who follows me already knows I’m wordy.

BESIDES Murven, what’s your favorite ship in t100? Honestly, nothing else comes close to Murven for me, but I did like Kabby before the show just eviscerated their characters. I like the possibilities of Niytavia still. I can see why people ship Murphamy in the earlier seasons. Definitely think Echo/Roan could’ve been something intriguing. And I’ve got this weird thing going right now where I wouldn’t hate Murphy/Russheda, but admittedly that’s mostly about the aesthetic! I tried really hard to like other partners for Raven & Murphy since they’ve always been my faves, but I’ve been meh about all the possibilities except Luna as a partner for Raven or as a Luna/Raven/Murphy threesome. At some point I might write that. Otherwise I’d say I tend to like the friendships more than the ships.

what are some things you’d like to recommend? I always hesitate to recommend other stories & authors because I can’t stand the idea of people feeling left out if I forget to mention them! But I would like to say that I really and truly love my fellow Murven shippers who read & support my stories and who create content like fic and art and gifs and fanvids. I find so much inspiration in them even though sometimes I can’t get through 30 seconds of a fanvid before I have to pause it because the angst is too much for me!

Since you’re kind enough to ask me this question and maybe a few people will read this answer, please - I recommend that everyone educate themselves on social justice and climate change and Black Lives Matter and capitalism and unions and what intersectionality & solidarity truly mean! Vote like your lives depend on it because THEY DO!

ed’s note: compiled a few resources -Rebel Well: A Starter Survival Guide to Trumped America -Jacob and Al’s Intergalactic Intersectionality Adventure -Get involved in your local chapter of DSA -Join Your Local Mutual Aid Group -Keeping Yourself Safe Online In This Capitalistic Hellscape -Angela Davis’ book Are Prisons Obsolete? -Resource about defunding the police

You can find @easilydistractedbyfanfic here on Tumblr, on Twitter, and on AO3. You can also a request a fic written by her via @bellarkefic-for-blm!

Banished (Part 15)

*Not my Gif*

Summary: When the 100 was sent to the ground, Y/N Y/L/N was one of them. Having been locked up for almost 8 years, how will she react to surviving on Earth? Especially when she gets banished…

Post Date: 9-14-19

Paring: Bellamy Blake x Reader

Word Count: 2.4K

A/N: Sorry it’s late!

~Banished Master List~

~Master Lists~

Based off episode 2x02 of the 100 “ Inclement Weather”

You followed the man throughout the building, taking in your new surroundings. This wasn’t normal, people don’t just almost die then wake up in white room in a new place. You were worried. What if they weren’t here? What if he isn’t here? You were in a bunker, that much you guessed by the fact that it was wall after wall and you hadn’t seen a door that led you outside. You were about to bring up that fact to the man before he stopped.

“This is where you’re all staying.” He told you before swiftly marching off, leaving you completely confused over him. You pushed aside the arguments in your head that told you this place wasn’t good and opened the double doors into a room of bunk beds. Delinquents were scattered around the room all chatting as you felt a rush of relief flood you. Here they were, they were alive, and that meant Bellamy could be here.

Jasper was sitting on his bed next to Monty as Harper planted herself on the bed next to them, Miller sitting on the foot of it. He was laughing as his eyes lifted to the door, seeing a new figure standing there. “Y/N? Oh my god.” Jasper was off the couch in a matter of seconds, wrapping his arms around you in a hug as you stumbled back and patted his back, doing the only thing you could do in this position. Murmurs of the kids caught your attention as they all stood up and came closer to the door. Jasper pulled away letting Harper and Monty hug you as well. You return the gesture before seeing Miller standing there as well. He didn’t move in for a hug, instead opting for a small smile you ignored. You shouldn’t have been mad at him, but you were. If he hadn’t suggested banishing you, you wouldn’t have said they could if you killed and maybe they would’ve let you stay. Blonde hair stepped out of the crowd, pushing her way through the front with wide eyes.

“Y/N? How-How are you here?” she asked as she put a hand on your upper arm. You shrugged it off, letting your eyes wander around the room.

“Bellamy?” Clarke’s face dropped and you let out a soft scoff. You shouldn’t have hoped he’d be here; it was dumb. Of course he wasn’t here. “Wait,” You looked around at all their faces, seeing the surprise and shock written all over them. “None of you knew I was here?”

Everyone shook their heads making you confused. Wallace said he got your name from your people, but they didn’t know you were here. What the hell were you missing?

Bellamy banged his foot against the ground again and again, staring daggers into Murphy’s face. Murphy just stared at the ceiling to avoid Bellamy for however longer needed better they could be let out. The door opened and Bellamy and Murphy watched Kane enter through it, checking behind him before closing the door and standing over the two.

“You were friends with her? Y/N?” Kane asked towards Bellamy. Kane’s eyes were desperate but Bellamy didn’t say anything and chose to stare up at him through hooded lids. Murphy on the other hand…

“They were friends, alright. Could’ve been more too if she hadn’t died.” He muttered as he pushed his lips into a thin line, watching the way Kane’s face hardened, but more importantly he saw the way Bellamy glanced his way before looking at Kane again. Murphy knew that look, that meant Bellamy had a secret. Kane asked a few more questions relating more to the rest of the group and the grounders before leaving once again. “Okay, what’s going on?” He sighed, letting his head roll onto his shoulder until he was looking at Bellamy. “Bellamy.” He said when Bellamy hadn’t answered.

“She’s still alive.”

“What?” Murphy couldn’t tell if Bellamy was in denial or truly felt that way. “What do you know?”

“There wasn’t a body where Y/N fell. No bones or anything.” He seemed so hopeful that Murphy almost believed him. But there was no way.

“That could mean anything. She might’ve- she might’ve been too burnt. There wouldn’t have been anything left.”

“No, she’s alive. I know it.” Bellamy finalized as Murphy gulped. He messed up a lot in his life but for some reason he couldn’t help but feel guilty when he thought about you. He didn’t really know you, and you both hate each other but he knew you were strong. Bellamy saw the gears shift in Murphy’s head, trying to figure everything out before a scream came from another room. Neither one of them needed to say anything to know those were Ravens scream they heard.

“That was me with the Grounders. I did everything I could not to scream but-“ Murphy started before Bellamy cut him off, a sharpness in his voice that would’ve sent most of the delinquents in the group running for the hills.

“You broke and told them everything about us.”

“And you wouldn’t have?” Murphy spat, shifting in his spot to look at the older boy better. “Oh that’s right, cause you’re better than me, is that it?”

“Damn right! I’m not a traitor and tell them where to find us.” Bellamy thought the conversation was done but then Murphy kept talking and he tried to tune him out.

“I did. After they tortured me in their prison camp for 3 days, but go ahead. You just keep believing, even if you are in here just like me.” A beat of silence passed, Bellamy hating the fact he was locked in here with Murphy of all people and Murphy mainly thinking of one thing. Being locked in here with Bellamy was worst then being locked up with you. At least you had the decency not to get into an argument with him. By then that’s when it hit him. You couldn’t really get into an argument with him. He gave into the grounders, every time they tortured him he gave them information. He knew you didn’t because you’d always come back barely breathing, so many cuts, bruises and half the time you’d be on the verge of unconscious but you never said anything. And you didn’t talk to Murphy afterwards because if you were talking to them they were going to be sure you wouldn’t talk to anyone. ”Y/N wasn’t a traitor.”

Bellamy’s head dropped at the sound of your name in this conversation and the rawness in Murphy’s voice. He blamed himself when he learned you were with Murphy in the Grounder cage, he couldn’t imagine you giving away information hit he didn’t know how they tortured you. Murphy matched Bellamy’s silence, waiting for someone else to come in and distract them as they thought about you.

Mount Weather wasn’t at all what you expected. There were families here and kids running about practically every time you turned the corner. Your friends seemed happy, all of them the complete opposite of you. This place sickened you, you had been out getting your ass beaten and killing people and they had been in here eating cake? It seemed way to good to be true, and as it turns out you weren’t the only one who felt out of place here.

Clarke has been acting weird since you met with everyone and Jasper has told you about what happened that morning with her trying to see someone from mount Weather with a gun shot. You started speculating in your head how that was possible after Clarke told you that they claim there’s no one left out there, but that just didn’t settle well with you. You looked around the large bunker for Clarke, seeing her staring at a piece of paper in her hand you realized was a map of the facility.

“You don’t trust them.” You stared as Clarke tried hiding the paper. She looked up at you with worry but you pulled a chair over to sit in front of her. “Good. You shouldn’t.”

“Why not?” She asked, removing the paper from its hiding spot. Taking a cautionary glance around you leaned closer to Clarke. “That map doesn’t have exits, I haven’t seen any and I don’t think you have really either, they claim that no one besides us survived, but I wasn’t in the drop ship. Bellamy, Finn, and I weren’t in the drop ship and yet I’m here. They’re not dead. Otherwise I would’ve been as well.” You explained as she nodded, taking in this new information she hadn’t even considered. “I still don’t understand how I’m here. There had to have so many other kids around me, so why am I the only one here?” Clarke crumpled up the map, throwing it behind her as voice caught your attention.

“Langston! Where you going? It’s movie night.” Someone said as you turned over your shoulder, seeing a man covered in scars and burns coming your way. He walked right past you and Clarke as you both kept an eye on him.

“Langston. That was the guy they brought in.”

“How’d he get better so fast?” You asked as you and Clarke were immediately to your feet and heading out the door. You rounded the corner, seeing Langston enter the medical as she grabbed your arm.

“Only patients are allowed in medical.” You furrowed your brows, letting them drop to her arm, more importantly, her stitches. You placed a hand on your stomach where your own new stitches laid and smirked.

“Oh, I have a bad idea.”

Finn entered the makeshift prison cell was not something Bellamy expected to take so long, but when he and Monroe finally came to their rescue and unlocked him he sighed in relief.

“It’s about time.” He mumbled as they all turned to the door.

“Hey, wait what about me?” Murphy asked as Bellamy looked at him and Finn before picking up the clippers. Finn quickly came up to him, trying to stop what he was doing.

“What are you doing?” He asked as Bellamy flipped the room in his hands and freeing Murphy.

“He’s been to the Grounders camp.”

Murphy grunted as Bellamy pulled him to his feet. “He’s right. I can take you there.” Finn and Murphy shares a look before Monroe warned them about Sterlings signal. Finn nodded beginning to turn around. “Let’s go find your girlfriend.” He turned around to Murphy, expecting to see him staring at Finn but instead his eyes were locked on a certain clenched jawed Bellamy. Bellamy ignored Finn’s curious look and Murphy’s smirk as he gave Murphy a push towards the exit. They managed to get out of camp unseen and headed to the edge of the woods. Finn lead the group, stopping when they came up to Abby and a guard.

“You’re late.” Abby said as she shined the flashlight over the faces of the scared kids.

“Bellamy decided to bring company.” Finn said looking back towards Murphy and glaring. Bellamy argued his stance before Abby handed him two guns and the guard handed them another telling him to find his son who was apparently Nate Miller. They nodded and began their trek in the night to find everyone. Finn fell back a little, walking by Bellamy’s side as he pushed Murphy a head a little.

“What did Murphy mean about ‘your girlfriend’?” He whispered as Bellamy’s face remained stoic staring at the tree line.

“She’s alive.” Finn stopped walking as He grabbed Bellamy’s arm.

“How do you know that?” He asked as they picked up their walking to catch up with the others.

“She can’t be dead.” Finn decides not to push against Bellamy, knowing that right now he needed to believe that you were still out there even though they both saw you get stabbed and fall. He was convinced you were gone but the others, the ones who were in the drop ship were alive, and Grounders had them.

You and Clarke didn’t say anything as you let the nurses stitch you both up again. Your great idea to get into medical had involved finding something sharp to open up your stitches on your stomach and the stitches on Clarke’s arm. Unfortunately you didn’t really think about the drain it would take on you to get an already throbbing place re-stitched. As soon as the nurses were gone you both stood up, you groaning a little at the fact you hadn’t thought about the one on your shoulder until you were already bleeding. You made sure the band aid wasn’t coming off before joining Clarke over by Langston. He was looking even better than he had not even this afternoon and it scared you.

“What are they doing to him?” You whispered as Clarke took a step back, walking around his bed and staring at the ceiling. You knotted your brows, following her and looking at all the other patients before you noticed the red tubes sticking out of all of them. Clarke ended up in front of door, beckoning you over to help push it but it didn’t budge. You gave up, moving away until an air vent caught your attention. “Clarke.” You pointed to the air vent as she smiled and soon you found yourselves on the other side of the door.

You didn’t know what you were expecting when you entered, but strung up grounders begin drained for their blood wasn’t it. Clarke stared them, mouth agape as you noticed the several hundred cages filled with people. They had prisoners they were draining for blood. You started walking down an aisle as they starting moaning, making you have to duck away from their grabbing hands. You looked at each one of them, seeing the energy being drained from their faces until a familiar one stood out. You crouched down, letting her look up at you as you realized who she was. She was in charge of your and Murphy’s torture. She was the one who ordered Clarke’s and Finns death sending you all scurrying into the reapers tunnels. You let out a low growl as Clarke joined you in your position and gasped.

“Anya?”

What did you think?

All Taglists Open

(Strikeout means I couldn’t tag)

Permanent: @literal-fand0m-trash @just4muggles @saturn-aka-six @nathaliabakes @whyamihere-bro @colored-confetti @wiseeggspickleslime @sadn0va @btsiguess-kpop @galacticstxrdust @independentgirl @wellhellotherelovey

Banished: @jodiereedus22 @kawennote09 @iamaunicorn4704 @im-a-stranger-thing @elsie2018 @kaelyn-lobrutto24 @strangerliaa @frederikkeborup @a-sweet-little-fangirl @divadinag @1-800-juniper @peter-parker-tony-stank-trash @travelnottogoanywherebuttogo @poisoned-girl @cxddlyash @captainam-erika-trash @waitingtobeimpressed @annoylinglyaries @purple-alien-monkey @peqchynero @buckysjuicyplums @somethingdawn @nerdbookish @spxcekru@yessii-i @amongthewildthingss @angelenemies @itsanallygator @your-typical-giggle @jelly-bean8383-blog @im-a-writer-sometimes @thelastdragon6 @hippieballls@savannah0111 @mckeeee-1 @rhyxn @disneychic8 @hyperion-moonbabe

Bellamy: @jodiereedus22 @nyxxxwtp @danielabetancourth

miasswier’s ultimate glee ranking: no 15

15: The Break-Up

Written by: Ryan Murphy Directed by: Alfonso Gomez-Rejon

Overall Thoughts: This is one of the strongest episodes Glee ever did. It’s also one of the most emotional. It’s kind of strange, ranking it so high, though, because I actually rarely watch this episode since it makes me both furious and so, so sad. Let’s get into it.

What I Like:

My absolute favourite aspect of this episode is Brittana. We’ve seen Brittany explicitly missing Santana for three episodes now, and it all culminates in that scene at Breadstix. When Brittany tells Santana that she left her behind and it really hurt, I think it’s one of the most honest and emotional things Brittany has ever said. Although she didn’t want to break up with Santana, I think Santana was right in doing so. She didn’t shift any blame, she didn’t try and play the victim, she didn’t even excuse herself. “I haven’t been a good girlfriend to you” and that’s that. She isn’t what’s best for Brittany right now, and so she’s not going to keep dragging Brittany down. I think this is also one of the greatest character development moments for Santana; the Santana we saw in “Prom Queen” would never have thought of Brittany’s desires before hers. They’re growing up, and they’re doing what’s right. But, oh, god does it hurt to watch.

That scene between Finn and Rachel at the end is one of Lea Michele’s best acting moments in the entire show. Not that she’s a bad actress most of the time, but the emotion of it all is so real. It’s no secret that I’ve never been a big Finchel supporter, but I feel for her. I sobbed while watching this scene, just as I do every time, because she just blows me away.

The scene between Finn and Kurt is another personal favourite. We rarely got any scenes between these two, and it’s nice to see the comradery that they have.

Someone pointed out when this episode first came out that after “Don’t Speak” Blaine is always seen alone, sectioned off from the group. Even his first shot in “Don’t Speak” is him alone, the camera zooming in on him. Now, I really hate that Blaine cheated, like, more than anything, and I hate that they then spent the rest of the season focusing on his emotional journey rather than Kurt’s, but, that being said I think the imagery of this is lovely. It really shows his isolation, his loneliness, his state of mind. It also builds up in the next few episodes, and culminates in “Dynamic Duets”. It’s interesting how they can show so much about a person’s headspace with just cinematography.

Brody isn’t a douche. He shows up to Callbacks, and he greets Finn first. He’s nice to Finn, and he doesn’t ask Rachel to sing with him, only agrees to do so when Finn suggests it. He respects the boundaries that have obviously been raised by Finn being there, and I really appreciate that. Honestly, I feel like they could have done so much more with Brody if they hadn’t decided they were tired of him mid-season and offed him in one of the worst ways possible.

Kurt is so genuinely excited to see Blaine. It’s hard, because you know what’s coming, but it’s also refreshing to be reminded that even though Kurt is caught up in his new life that he still loves Blaine just as much as he did before he came to New York. It just sucks that the only nice scene we got between Klaine in this episode lasted .02 seconds.

Emma standing up for herself, and making it clear to Will that just because he didn’t get his way doesn’t mean the conversation isn’t over makes me so happy. People rarely talk about Emma’s character development, but she’s seriously come so far since season one. She made it very clear to Will that she wasn’t just going to bend over and do whatever he wanted, which is such a far cry from the Emma we met in the pilot who was basically following Will around like a lost puppy.

I know I already said it, but seriously. Brittana. They blow my mind.

What I Don’t Like:

The way the Klaine story plays out has always bothered me, and will continue to bother me until the day I die. They set it up so perfectly in the previous episode, and the beginning of this episode plays the same way: Kurt is too busy, and Blaine feels alone and neglected. THAT WAS ENOUGH OF A REASON FOR THEM TO BREAK UP. If a significant other made me feel the way Blaine was obviously feeling throughout this episode and the last one, I would break up with that significant other. He would have been completely justified in doing so. But no, apparently Kurt’s not allowed to be the bad guy (I love Kurt, I do, but he wasn’t being a good boyfriend), so instead of just going with what they set up, they pulled a cheating storyline out of thin air that made zero sense and honesty almost made me give up on Klaine. I just… ugh. I hate that they did that, and I will always hate that they did that.

The whole Kitty/Jake/Marley thing was stupid and unnecessary, as were most of their storylines throughout season four. Cut them out and give Brittana and Klaine, or even Wemma for fuck’s sake, more screen time. Please and thanks.

That being said, I really don’t understand why they tried to shoehorn Wemma into this episode as a “potential break-up” thing, when really all they had was a fight. By doing that, they basically brought them back down to high school level, like they’d been all throughout the first season, which isn’t what their relationship has been like for ages. It felt wrong and unnecessary, and I wish they’d played it more like the fight it was than as if it was some huge relationship ending drama that was literally never mentioned again.

While having all three main couples break up in one episode packed a huge punch, it was also frustrating because Finchel got the A plot, while Klaine got the B plot, Brittana the C, and then Wemma + Newbies a tiny D plot. Yeah, they tried to act like Klaine and Finchel got equal screentime, but most of the time both couples were on screen Finchel was touching, and cuddling and kissing, while Klaine were either in different cities or standing ten feet away from each other. Also, Finchel gets like a five-minute break-up scene at the end (which don’t get me wrong, I love that scene, I do) but we don’t even know if Kurt and Blaine are broken up. It just doesn’t seem fair to break every couple up in one episode if you aren’t going to give every couple their dues.

In “The Scientist” when they show Finchel and Wemma’s first kiss, and then scenes of Klaine and Brittana barely touching. WE GET IT FOX, YOU HATE GAYS. Jesus Christ.

Songs:

Barely Breathing: What I like about this song is how Blaine and Finn are in total different headspaces, but somehow this song manages to portray both perfectly. They sound awesome together, too. Plus, I love seeing Kurt in his fake Dalton uniform. Cutie.

Give Your Heart a Break: If I had to cut one song from this episode, it would be this one. I like it, don’t get me wrong, but it feels unnecessary. Every other song packs such an emotional punch, whereas this one is just sort of… there. I don’t know.

Teenage Dream: Although it breaks my heart, I really do love this version of the song. Slowed down versions of pop songs are my kryptonite, and Darren sounds so incredible singing it. Plus, again, the cinematography really does a good job of showing how isolated and claustrophobic he’s feeling. There’s also the crack in his voice when he says the last “let you put your hands on me”, which breaks my heart. He’s clearly thinking about Eli, and how desperately he wishes he hadn’t done it. All that being said: WHY DID YOU FUCKING CHEAT (im literally forever mad about it).

Don’t Speak: Again, emotional. Great harmonies. They all sound fantastic, and it’s really heartbreaking to watch. The one shot that always gets me is the one where Rachel and Blaine are alone at the fountain. Ouch.

Mine: Seriously, Brittana in this episode. Holy fuck. The first time I watched it I didn’t even ship Brittana (I didn’t really start shipping them until season five), but I still sobbed when Santana sang this, and I’ve sobbed every time since. It’s so fucking raw and emotional. So beautiful and amazing. I love it.

The Scientist: This is an awesome finale, and a really strong song. My only issue is how it’s pretty evenly split until right at the end when Rachel comes in and literally takes over the entire fucking song. I hate when they do that, it drives me crazy. But other than that, a great song to conclude a really strong episode.

Final Thoughts: Klaine is my otp, and I nearly lost faith in them during this episode. I’ll never forgive Glee for that. I still think that Blaine cheating was beyond unnecessary, and I will continue to think that until the day I die. That being said, it’s one of Glee’s strongest episodes ever, and that can’t be discounted. And seriously. Brittana. Holy fuck.

top five worst clarke moments

5. Her Apology 

We’ve all had times where we were bad at giving apologies but I promise you that no one fucking sucks at apologies like Clarke Griffin. Clarke, when presented with the chance to apologise after leaving Bellamy to die in a fighting pit, getting Raven and Shaw tortured, siding with McCreary and you know...all the other villainy shit she did in season 5, instead used it to thinly veil her trying to manipulate her people. She then turned her “apology” which was basically just ‘i did some bad things’ like she shit on the carpet, she did not, she almost got one of them killed and got two tortured and this isn’t the first time she fucked up either but she turned her apology around to say ‘you guys have done bad things too’! She really, uh, Uno-Reverse-carded them there 

And yeah, they have done bad things but their bad things didn’t include killing one thousand people (guys I checked her wiki and did the math, she has killed over one thousand people I-), calling themselves the Commander of Death and traipsing around in a black cape - seriously guys, what the shit was that??? 

4. Leaving Murphy behind 

Hey, hey, guys, you remember that time where she and Murphy apparently bonded when being held captive by Ontari? As all you Clorke stans claim? No, no, they fucking didn’t. Because when she had the chance to leave, she left without even considering Murphy - oh yeah, other than telling Titus, who hates Murphy, to “take care of him” who then later slit his throat rather than take care of Murphy so, good job Clarke, your plan is shit - and knowing full well that she left him with Ontari, who is a rapist and a known mass murderer with a temper! Clarke knew he could have died and when he had literally been taking care of her, treating her respectfully and helping her grieve??? Y’all claim he’s the one who fucked up their “friendship” in season 6? no, she left him with a woman she knew could and probably would kill him with the thinnest veils of “protection” She also then doesn’t tell anyone he’s there and let’s be real, that moment seeing him in the tunnels is probably the first moment they know he’s alive (also after all of this shit, Murphy still pumps his rapist’s heart to save her life, Murphy my boy you’re too good) 

3. Left Bellamy to die 

NO YOU DON’T YOU LEFT HIM TO DIE 

She left Bellamy to die in that fighting pit; at that point, she knew how far Octavia was gone and that she may have actually killed Bellamy and after slapping him, which stop fucking romanticizing her hitting him, as she’s leaving him to die, Madi literally asks her about it and she said, “They made their choice.” implying that she doesn’t give a shit. 

But when Echo is mad and hostile in front of her, she backtracks and claims she always cared! Liar! She’s like this one White Feminist acquaintance I had back in grade 9 who claimed that she was bullied for her race a lot, our POC friend called her out and she said ‘no, it wasn’t for my race! Just my appearance!’ 

Clarke really is That One Bitch who can’t tell the truth no matter what, huh? 

2. Got Murphy hung 

You remember that time that Murphy was minding his own business, pissing on random guys and Clarke tried to kill him? Okay, I may have sort of oversimplified it. So, Murphy’s a dick; we all know that and some of us accept it and love him for/despite it more than others and Jason purposefully set these scenes back-to-back, Murphy doing something disgusting that only a teenage boy would do and having something horrifying happen to him, but why it happens to him? Oh right, Clarke Griffin! Clarke, without proof, ignores Bellamy’s pleas to wait a goddamn second, talk to Murphy on the side and discuss it like they rationally should, and instead waltzes up to Murphy and accuses him of murder in front of a group of 100 known criminals. They already don’t like Murphy, they have a reason to try to kill him now; she knew they would take it. There’s no way she couldn’t have. 

And I’m already ready for all of the protests on this one that say ‘she was full of rage’ or ‘she was grieving and not thinking clearly’ but, uh, she was thinking clearly when she saved Charlotte’s life or when she banished him - reminder that she was the one who made them banish Murphy, which would most likely lead to his death - or when she, just two episodes prior, told Wells to go kill himself by walking through acid fog. Oh, you know, #justbestiethingz 

No, Clarke fucking set that plan in motion and what did she do when they started hanging Murphy? What? Stand in place? Scream a little? Basically say ‘no’ like, three times? She doesn’t do jack shit; the only time she does something is after Finn comes up the hill (oh, isn’t that an ugly look for her? Him seeing his “Princess” hang a man? How much do you want to bet she lied her ass off to Finn about the details of how the hanging started?) and Charlotte admits what she did. And what did Clarke do to Charlotte? Protected her until the end. Weird fucking shit, Griffin. 

Clarke wasn’t mad or grieving. She was trying to get Murphy out of the way. 

1. Shock Collared Madi 

I... don't know how you look at this scene and don’t think it’s child abuse. She electrocutes her “kid” but I guess the only way you could look at it not being child abuse is if you don’t consider her Clarke’s kid which is true, she’s not Clarke’s child, thank god, but any other ways, it is still child abuse. If I see one (1) more person excuse it with “she was protecting Madi!1!” I'm gonna lose my shit. You don’t protect her by hurting her, Jesus Christ, Clarke is an abusive “mother” and yall are gross. 

Bonus: 

Told Wells to kill himself 

You remember that time in like, season 1, episode 2 or 3 where she told Wells “if you really loved me, you’d go out there” as they all sat in the little bunker thing as the acid fog rolled through and Finn was just awkwardly sipping his alcohol? Finn was a mood but hi, fuck Clarke for telling her “friend” to go kill themselves. 

Got Raven and Shaw tortured 

Whether y’all like it or not, she teamed up with McCreary, leading to Raven and Shaw to be tortured. AKA I feel no pity for her when Raven has been mad at her all season, Bitch had it coming. 

Chained up Emori and Murphy 

She chained them up and was willing to use them as rats to test her experiment. She only stopped because Murphy threatened to kill her and Clarke Griffin only cares about her own life, haven’t you heard? I’m so fucking tired guys 

Leaving Bellamy to actually bear it all

You remember when Mount Weather was just fresh? You remember when Jasper was drinking himself stupid as a coping mechanism? You remember when Clarke helped him - oh wait, she fucking didn’t! 

Actually, she fucking left them and went for a walk, for an adventure and left Bellamy to actually bear the guilt of Mount Weather. Fuck her ‘I bear it so they don’t have to’ bullshit, they all bear it but you like to pretend to be the savior! Bellamy even bears most of your fucking crime 

I’m too tired to have more, it’s 1:30am, this was mostly coherent and I hate her goodnight. 

Surprised by your answer to the fave murven moment! Thought itd be something like that scene in s4 when they're under fire from drones and Murphy goes back for Raven on the beach. What are some of your headcanons for raven/Murphy? (As a couple or as individuals).

LOL! Well, I said it could change in ten minutes for a reason! Listen it is soooooo tough to pick a favorite, because I think so many of them are meaningful in different ways! S4 had some truly fantastic scenes - I could watch their argument in Becca’s lab and the fallout of that over and over again. Heck, I *have* watched that scene over and over again! And I love how in that drone scene Raven is so, so confused by Murphy’s help. She’s surprised and almost disturbed that her opinion of him has been upended but then she makes a serious point to thank him for it afterwardsI love that about her.

Sooo...how long do you have for these headcanons? A few hours? Because I could probably go on that long! LOL! I’ll put a few here but I really do have quite a lot of thoughts about them, and I both love and hate that we get to fill in so much ourselves - only hate it because I desperately want to see more of them & their stories onscreen!

~ I think Raven & Murphy hung out on the Ring more than anyone knows about. Six years is a long time, neither one of them like having nothing to do, they have similar senses of humor, and they came out of those 6 years much closer than when they went in, and that’s not just because they lived in the same place. I have fic ideas about this (what a surprise). I think Murphy is more interested in some of Raven’s work than he lets on - he sure tends to have a lot of opinions on what she’s doing and he thinks his sarcastic comments & suggestions keep her on her toes. Begrudgingly, Raven secretly agrees.

~ Maybe an unpopular opinion, but... I don’t think Raven ever truly hated Murphy, even soon after he shot her. Partly because I don’t think Raven tends to focus on hate or revenge, but also because she didn’t tell the adults that it was Murphy who shot her, and because I think canon shows us that she feels guilty when she tries to hand over Murphy instead of Finn to the Grounders. Her interactions with him after her injury tend to be more full of annoyance rather than hate. I do think she understands where he’s coming from even when she’s angry about what’s happened to her, and she feels empathy towards him even if she doesn’t want to. And even though she yells that she hates him during her breakdown in Becca’s lab, a lot of that is influenced by her strokes and her not being completely herself. To me in that moment where Luna gets Raven to calm down and she looks up at Murphy with a ton of regret, I think Raven fully understands that she lost control in the same way Murphy did in the past. That’s the moment, right there, where Raven lets go of her past resentment towards him, IMHO. Not that she doesn’t have reason to hate him after it all, of course, but I just don’t think she did, and I don’t think her canon behavior showed that she did either.

~ I think Murphy’s character is not well understood at times by fandom - not that I am suggesting that I am the best judge of him, fyi. I think he’s very smart, though in a different way than some of the other characters, and I don’t think he’s as selfish as people tend to believe. He’s no saint but I have read some takes that paint him as mean, selfish or ruthless and I don’t agree at all. With him going into the Sky Box so young, I like other opinions I’ve read about him being in solitary a lot. Also I think he read a lot during this time, and he does seem well-versed in past pop culture, so I’m going to assume movies were available in the Sky Box too, so I think he ate those up. I like to consider that Murphy isn’t a bad speller but wrote that message on the Dropship and spelled die wrong on purpose. To me this fits with his ability to influence & manipulate people, but he’s gotten much better at this since S1.

~ Of course we didn’t get it in S6, but there were a LOT of potential missing scenes between many of the characters, especially since they were just “off screen” at times. So I headcanon that Raven definitely had a chat with Murphy about how often he’s been getting himself drunk on Sanctum. It’s impossible for me to believe that she’d stand back and watch him do that to himself with both of their shared pasts with drunken parents. Their mothers both drank themselves to death - there’s no way Raven would let Murphy go down that same path without speaking up. But I think it would be the version of Raven that’s gentler with Murphy than she is with others, because even if she doesn’t approve, she gets why he’s doing it and she doesn’t blame him for wanting an escape - she just thinks he’s being too reckless with it.

~ This is a bit random and out of nowhere, but I think that on the Ring, while Echo and Emori were trying to teach everyone Trigedasleng, I think Raven & Murphy were the worst students. Not because they didn’t think it was valuable, but because Murphy rarely felt like taking things seriously up there, and because Raven was often mentally focused on repairs and ideas for getting them home, so she’d zone out during whatever lessons they had, her head caught up in something else. Eventually they both realized their inattention was hurting Emori’s feelings and they tried harder after that.

~ Alright, last bit! I tend to think of Raven as “the intellect”, and Murphy as “the instinct”. It’s the essence of their characters but also why they work so well together, because each of them brings something the other needs to the table. So to me in S5 when Murphy says he’s staying on the E-IV with Raven because she might need backup and it’s the ‘survivor’s move’, I don’t think he’s reacting just out of anger. Murphy can be impulsive but he’s also calculating - he doesn’t just make this choice on a whim, IMHO. As he says later, at first he thought he made the choice for one reason, but then he realized that wasn’t it. I think in the moment when he walks out of the shuttle and back onto the E-IV to stay with Raven, I think there’s a lot going on in his head that urge him towards this choice, including his memories of leaving Raven behind to die at Becca’s Lab. Maybe for the countdown to S7, I will finally write up the meta that bounces around in my head about Raven, Murphy and how their survival is often tied together, but to me it all IS tied together and I have a lot of examples to point to, LOL.

Okay, per my usual, I am a wordy bitch! I hope you aren’t sorry you asked! Thank you for the question! Ask me a ship question! 

The 100 6x07 analysis - putting the mind at ease

I absolutely loved this episode, the attention to detail, the explanations, the tone, and pacing. It was definitely my favorite of the season so far. And, climbing the charts to the best of the series but you’d have to work really hard to top a The 100 finale. This season is shaping up to be the best, the stories they’re exploring, the sci-fi content, the unpredictability, everything is top notch. Well done Jason and the writers, are you good friends with Elon Musk?

Ready to take a trip down memory lane, buckle up, it’s a long ride, ready, let’s go! I’m breaking this up into Clarke’s encounters with her ghosts since it takes place solely in her mind. It’s fitting for Clarke to wake up in her prison cell given that she’s literally trapped in her subconscious. Also, if I had to picture the inside of it, I’d see drawings everywhere too.

The safe space - daddy’s arms

To me, it seems like the images and voices she encounters first are those she’s lost except for her child. Finn, Wells, Lexa, and of course her father. When Clarke realizes she’s dead, she’s glad her fight is finally over but regrets not being able to say goodbye. To Madi and mom. I’ve seen some people upset that she didn’t include Bellamy, that’s because she did greet him in a certain way when she apologized and told him he was her family.

Now, the weather is a direct product of her mood. When she encounters Jake, the sun is bright in a place she was once happy. Then, the thunder starts when she gets upset. I would have liked it to be Jake himself letting her in on the heartbeat and the fact that she’s alive but he’s only a figment of her imagination. Meaning it’s the way she would have wanted it too. 

I imagine this scene as the life Clarke pictured living. Content, with her father alive and Madi going to school while she draws and farms.

A.L.I.E to the rescue

Those words make no sense. Funny how she instantly transforms into Wanheda in the presence of the AI. I had some other theories on why Clarke survived and then I watched a Youtube video by the Theorizer before the episode aired which explained this fact and it made complete sense. A.L.I.E saved Clarke.

How does this work? I found an article in Techworld that explains it as follows: “At its most basic form, neural lace is an ultra-thin mesh that can be implanted in the skull, forming a collection of electrodes capable of monitoring brain function. It creates an interface between the brain and the machine.

To insert neural lace, a tiny needle containing the rolled up mesh is placed inside the skull and the mesh is injected. As the mesh leaves the needle it unravels, spanning the brain.”

To remove the neuro mesh from Clarke’s brain, they would have to EMP her. In other words, remove Josephine from the brain, drain the last of the neuro mesh and re-insert the body-snatcher.

Furthermore, I’d like to touch on the subject of there is no joy without pain. Believing this is tragical. Sure, life does include unpleasant bumps and hurdles but joy can certainly exist without pain. A glimpse into her trampled heart.

Then, A.L.I.E tells her the painful memories aren’t present. This boggles me somewhat because like I’ve said her most prominent drawings are those she’s lost. Isn’t that painful enough? Is that why she moved on to Mount Weather and the fighting pit or is there something even more agonizing than those? Something Josephine encounters by herself later?

Encountering the parasite

So, Josephine describes why both minds cannot survive simultaneously. I’m not a neurosurgeon but I gathered that the brain does not have the capacity to maintain both, which will lead to cerebral hemorrhaging and a stroke.  

A power struggle between two badass female characters is always a delight to watch. Clarke Griffin is not someone you wanna mess with, told ya! The hypocrisy in Josie calling Clarke selfish and dumb is amusing. Check the mirror, sweetie.

She’s not stupid in the literal sense, obviously, she only overestimates her own causes and abilities. But the “when I tell you not to think of an elephant, what do you think about” move is smart. Unfortunately for her, our blonde hero is one step ahead.

Unlike the prime princess, who lives in a peaceful castle on a moon, Clarke has fought her fair share of battles and easily kicks ass in a physical fight. Just as she thinks she’s won, the parasite shows up again with the news that she can’t die in the mind space. Dramatic sigh.

On being haunted by Bloodreina

“Even your projections hate you, Clarke.” In episode two we already see that she is her own worst enemy. She hates herself more than anyone for the things she’s had to do. 

1) Letting the bomb drop on TonDC

2) Stealing the bunker while Octavia fought for it

3) Leaving Bellamy to die in the fighting pits

Oh and now we learn why we don’t see Bellamy. He’s the one person she cannot face. In 6x04 she acknowledged leaving him to die is her deepest regret. In 6x01 she tells him he kept her sane during the six years alone. Clearly, she’d rather go up against Bloodreina, a controversial monster, than him. Why is that?

Bellamy has forgiven you, Clarke. Go ahead and forgive yourself.

Mount Weather

The place responsible for creating Wanheda. Now, it’s common knowledge that Clarke blames herself for what happened to Mia and Jasper. But seeing her question the godly decisions to save those she loves is heartbreaking. Yes, she’s made some bad choices in the past but this shows just how remorseful and compassionate Clarke truly is. War made her a monster, though that’s not who she is, at all. At least it led to the realization that she’s still in control of her own mind.

Finn’s death and Jasper’s cage

Sneaky, Clarke. Hiding the memory in one of the places you’ll never wish to revisit. But sadly, Josephine doesn’t mind exploring the place where you had to mercy kill Finn or dig into Jasper.

As if it’s not bad enough that the devil lures her to the last place she’ll want to see, she uses the one self-loathing thing about Clarke to manipulate her into giving up. Amusing how the final turning point is learning that Bellamy’s willing to sacrifice her for saving everyone else. Is it the comprehension that Bellamy no longer cares that causes her surrender or the fact that it’s the only way to save her people? A bit of both I assume.

The lock sequence was awesome - 0100. “You forgot about Bellamy and Raven - 0102. There’s only 6 of the 102 left now if I’m right. Seeing her cry in Lexa’s throne though, was so, so sad. 

They definitely saved the best for last with Monty

I cannot express my gratitude for this unexpected return enough. I’ve had some terrible Monty, Harper and Jasper depression hours over the last week and this made my day. So, Mr. Cockroach Murphy, this is not what Monty would have wanted. Letting them get away with killing innocent people for immortality does not fall within the definition of doing better. 

If only Clarke knew how much Madi needs her right now. She’s trudging on dangerous ground and could use some serious motherly guidance.

Who better to light the way to victory than the man who saved humanity? Six seasons and his death down the line and he’s still picking locks. Hate to be the one to say this, but Raven, Monty is purer than you are. 

Applause for using Josephine’s own tactics against her by controlling her through the no-go-zone.

Crossing the sociopath's threshold

That door looks so much like a blissful suburban family home over Christmas, which I’m sure Josephine had back on earth before her tragedy. Oh, and the library is amazing, I must say. I imagine my own mind looking much the same, I love books.

But in that perfect little head, the most horrific things are hidden. Why are the primes so afraid of dying? Is it only power and narcissism that causes Josephine to resort to oblation?

Clarke learns that she offered the nulls to the trees, hence banning them from their society because they hinder the nightbloodline. But Isaac, Kaylee’s lover, gave them to Gabriel to build an army, instead. I’m certain Clarke will use this info in the future.

Gabriel loved Josephine once, I’m sure we’ll still get to this story but I can’t wait to see the face-off between the two. His last host was already 95 at the time of the memory, meaning now, six years later, he’s 101. Which is why I assume he can only exist within the anomaly where time is altered. And like I’ve said many times before the trio in the woods will turn out to be Sanctum’s saviors.

But we also see the good side of Josephine, the person she once was. PTSD probably morphed her into becoming a sociopath and the mind-drives enhanced the trauma. I feel bad for what happened to her but it does not by any means justify the person she’s become.

Why is she looking to Bellamy when she says, “I know how to kill her once and for all.” Did she see the memory of Clarke telling Roan, “I’ll do anything, I’ll stop fighting. Just, please, don’t kill him?”

Bellamy Blake, you genius

I knew it, I called it. Bellamy was the first to figure out that Josie’s not Clarke and of course the first to deduce that she’s still alive. That was some big soulmate energy right there!!! Thank you for being a big ol’ nerd and paying attention in Earth Skills.

That smile, a stark contrast to the tears that rolled last week. His princess is not gone and he’ll swim the Atlantic to bring her back. He’s gonna reel in everyone’s help on this project but be careful Bell, Josephine does not go down easy.

Just a side note. I appreciate Miller and his standoffishness in this scene since no-one seemed to mourn her last week.

One last thing, I may have been wrong about Abby, she might know something and it’s possible that’s she’s planning on taking Russel’s body for Kane. An eye-for-an-eye?

That’s all folks. As usual, you’re welcome to disagree with me. I love hearing I’m wrong and why.

Debunking

We’ve talked about this scene before- the Kurt rant given by Santana. Naya just said she was uncomfortable and she mentioned that Chris was upset.  sugdendingle just posted that Chris “liked” her Tweet where she called out how much she didn’t like it.  She added a second comment that includes: 

sugdendingle

None of the other cast were personally attacked in the ways Chris was and to the extent Chris was. I don’t know what Ryan Murphy’s issues were with Chris but he clearly he had some....I’m talking about real life here. About how Ryan Murphy and his writers used the character of Kurt to personally attack Chris Colfer on a regular basis and it’s clear Chris agrees to some extent as he liked my tweet.

That scene in season six was one of the worst examples but hardly the only one. Chris not being traditionally masculine was like a running joke on that show. As was remarks about his voice, his appearance, his sexuality, how he danced, etc. Yes other characters faced insults but it never got as personal as it did with Chris and it wasn’t as extensive either. The insults to Kurt went on right to the end of the show you can’t say the same for the other characters. It’s just really sad that Chris had to endure a work enivorment like this especially considering he was bullied when he was younger.

Abby adds: 

My opinion. The poor treatment stems from extreme jealousy. For many, many reasons. And of course c’s refusal to do as he’s told.(X)

Debunk #1 

None of the other cast were personally attacked in the ways Chris was and to the extent Chris was. Was Chris harassed by the writers “more than any other character”?  I spent a few minutes looking at Santana’s rants-and Santana seems to be the ranter on Glee. I don’t believe her rants about Chris’s failings is any worse than she she said about Finn’s weight. Rachel or really Lea’s nose being too big had an entire episode-and several comments through the years- and Kurt staged a flashmob at the mall to talk her out of plastic surgery. Sam was called Trouty Mouth as a running joke including a song “Trouty Mouth” sang by Santana. 

“Every time you open your humongous mouth to do an impression or to moisten a enormous stamp for a lazy giant you take on step closer to everyone seeing that you’re actually a dork” (X)

“I just heard the news that Trouty Mouth was back in town. I’ve been keeping a notebook, just in case this day ever came. Welcome back, Lisa Rinna. I’ve missed you so much since your family packed their bags, loaded them in your mouth and skipped town. Can’t tell you how many times I’ve wanted to enjoy a crisp pickle, but couldn’t find anyone to suck the lid off the jar. I assume you’ve been working as a baby polisher where young mothers place their infants’ heads in your mouth to get back that newborn shine. So glad you’re back. I haven’t seen a smile that big since the acclamation abominable snowman got his teeth pulled by that little gay elf dentist. Love, Santana” (X)

This gets loooonnnngggg so under a cut 

This one she also hit at Tina’s Asian eyes and Rachels nose- though I didn’t include that part. 

Santana: Hold up, could we all just get real here for a second? I hear that Rachel has a bit of a schnoz. I mean I wouldn't know because like Medusa I try to avoid eye contact with her. But can we all just stop lying about how there aren't things we don't want to change about ourselves? I'm sure that Sam has been at the doctor's office and riffled through pamphlets on mouth reductions. I'll bet Artie's thought about getting his legs removed since he's not really using them anyway. And I'm definitely sure Tina has looked into eye de-slanting. Tina: That's extraordinarily racist. Santana: Just keeping it real. Tina: Sorry Santana, I'm a beautiful person. I'm in love with myself and I would never change a thing. Mike: Is that why you're wearing blue contacts today, Tina? [whispers] Self hating Asian. Tina: Not too many Asian sex symbols, Mike. I'm just trying to mirror what I see in magazines. Finn: My dancing kind of bothers me. It almost killed Rachel but I like the way I look. Santana: Oh please. You have weird puffy pyramid nipples. Sam: [tries to look at Finn's nipples] Finn: [slaps Sam's hand away] Santana: They look like they're filled with custard. Or you could dust them off with powdered sugar and pass it off as some sort of dessert. Look, maybe Rachel is fine with having an enormous beak. Maybe she needs it to crack hard seeds. All I'm saying is if you look in the mirror and you don't like what you see, you should change it.”(X)

“I’ve kissed Finn, and can I just say… not worth a buck. I would, however, pay a hundred dollars to jiggle one of his man boobs”. (X)

Santana: “Please stick a sock in it or ship yourself back to Scotland. I’m trying to apologize to Lumps The Clown. I am sorry, Finn. I mean, really, I’m sorry that the New Directions are gonna get crushed by the Troubletones. And I’m also sorry that you have no talent. Sorry that you sing like you’re getting your prostate checked, and you dance like you’ve been asleep for years and someone just woke you up. Have fun riding on Rachel’s coattails for the rest of your life, although, you know what, I would just watch out for her come holiday time if I were him, because if I were her, I’d stick a stent in one of those boobs and let the Finn blubber light the Hanukkah lamp for eight magical nights.” (X)

Santana: “Why is everyone staring at me like I’m Finn and I just won a butter eating contest” (X)

She even hit him during The Quarterback “Okay, I know that Finn had his doubts about God but I am convinced that Squishy Teets is up in heaven right now plopped down next to his new best friend Fat Elvis helping themselves to a picnic of baby back ribs smothered in butterscotch pudding and TaterTot grease so this is for you Hudson” (X)

She also did a combo Finn/Sam rant “Not only am I giving you full visitation rights to the set of rambunctious twins that live on my rig cage, you get the chance to show that pastry bag Finn that he can’t mess with Sam Evans. And not just because you can unlock your humongous jaw and swallow him whole like a python…” (X)

The Kurt rant 

“Kurt I took what you said to heart, and I thought long and hard about it, and it occurred to me that you may have a point. Okay, maybe Brittany and I are too young to get married. I mean, after all, that's why it didn't work out with you and Blaine, right? Or maybe it didn't work out because you're a judgmental little gentrophile with a mouth like a cat's ass. Maybe Blaine got tired of hearing your shrill, self-aggrandizing lecture about how you felt the two of you were at the very apex of the gay rights movement every time you so much as cooked macaroni and cheese together or farted. Maybe Blaine didn't want to be with someone who looks like they just removed their top row of dentures every time they smile or someone who doesn't dress like an extra out of one of Andy Dick's more elaborate wet dreams. Maybe Blaine grew weary of dating a breathier, more feminine Quinn Fabray. Maybe he finally got freaked out about your strange obsession with old people that causes you to skulk around nursing homes like one of those cats that can smell cancer. Maybe he got tired of watching you drape yourself on every piano you happen to pass to entertain exactly no one with, say, some song that Judy Garland choked on her tongue in the middle of or some sassy old Broadway standard made famous by another dead alcoholic crone. Maybe Blaine woke up one day and said, "You know what I don't want to marry a sexless, self-centered baton twirler. Maybe I need someone who knows more than three dance moves: "the finger wag", "the shoulder shimmy" and the one where you pretend to twirl two invisible rainbow-colored ribbons attached to your hips. So, you know what, maybe that's why it didn't work out. Maybe it has nothing to do with me and Brittany. Maybe it's just that you are utterly, utterly intolerable. Maybe that has something to do with it."(X)

Conclusion: Chris was not attacked more than other actors on Glee.  The writers were pretty vicious about the physical characteristics of Rachel’s nose, Finn’s weight and man boobs and Sam’s nose. They also wrote about Damian’s height referring to as Leprechaun. All are very personal attacks about the actor; not the character.  Finn’s boobs were used as fodder for humor after he died so the idea that no other character was humiliated throughout the show is untrue.  

Debunk #2 

I don’t know what Ryan Murphy’s issues were with Chris but he clearly he had some. Ryan didn’t write Santana’s vicious lines-Brad Falchuk did.  I spent enough time researching this and finding late-season interview is hard but earlier interviews show that Ryan really respected Chris and Kurt.

Ryan did an interview with NYT in 2010  Q:Is this story in any way autobiographical or a reflection on your own experiences growing up?

A:It wasn’t really true to my experience at all. But I know so many people that it was true to. It was very true to Chris Colfer’s experience, and working with him for the past year, he would tell me stories. It’s amazing to me — last year when we did the “Glee” tour, every time Chris Colfer came out on that stage for his bows, 100 percent, he got the loudest cheers and applause, from all groups of people. Little girls, parents. A lot of people have embraced him and he’s part of their television-going family, so to see an episode in which he’s physically threatened is very upsetting for people, I think. But it puts a face on it. 

Q: It’s still rare to see gay characters on prime-time network programs, let alone one who is out in the way that Kurt is, and at a young age. Is there ever any pressure on you to tone down the portrayal of that character?

A: No, surprisingly not. Three episodes into the series last year, when we did the “Single Ladies” football number with him, he became an audience favorite and people started to write about that character and Chris Colfer. I think that character is in many ways the most important character on television, particularly for kids. When I was growing up, there was nobody like that. I think that character changes lives. I think that character launches conversation, both good and bad, and that’s a very powerful thing. I’ve done shows where if a character is a little bit controversial, the network and the studio are like, “Could you please tone that down?” They never did that at all with this character, and they were all very supportive of the story line. (X)

“Growing up in Indianapolis, Murphy sang in his church choir and immersed himself in high school musicals. His father was a semi-pro hockey player who was baffled by a son who requested a Vogue subscription when he was 5 years old and performed in his bedroom, holding a hairbrush in front of a mirror. He may not have understood his son, but he accepted him, even when Murphy revealed that he was gay at 15″.

“Having a dad that loves you as a young man is a very powerful thing that you carry into the world,” Murphy said. “Because no matter what you do, in some weird, unconscious way, if you’re a guy, you always try to please your dad. I think it’s a great thing to put on television. You’ve seen the gay character that gets kicked out of the house or is beaten up. You haven’t seen the gay character that is teased a little bit, but wins and triumphs.”

“The scene in which he tells his father was taken verbatim from Murphy's own life. Murphy felt that the scene was "a great thing to put on television", because, while gay characters are often isolated and attacked, audiences have rarely seen an openly gay character who "wins and triumphs". He further explained, "The show is about making you feel good in the end. It's about happy endings and optimism and the power of your personal journey and making you feel that the weird thing about me is the great thing about me. I've done other shows with gay characters, and I will say that in many of those cases, the gay characters didn't have a happy ending. And I thought you know what? Enough."(X)(X)

We also know that Ryan created the role of Kurt specifically for Chris. 

We don’t know what happened with the fall out(s) on set. Chris said he wouldn’t work for Ryan and 

“To this day, I'm devastated by everything that happened with that show." (X)

Other interring things I found:

“Over the course of six seasons of Glee, which petered out earlier this year, there was plenty written about backstage drama, fractured relationships and the death of star Cory Monteith from a drug overdose. All Murphy will offer are his own misgivings about his role on the show. "I was there with them all day long, and then we'd finish work and we'd go out and have fun all night, and I guess in a weird, twisted way, I was trying to relive the childhood I never had," he says. "I thought they wanted a parent, and they didn't. They didn't want me to tell them what to f—ing do. They didn't want me to tell them how to treat each other or what the world was like at the end of the day. I wish I could go back and do that differently with a lot of those actors. Some of them I'm still very close to: Lea Michele, Chord Overstreet, Darren Criss — but there were some that didn't work out well, and I regret that. I guess I just wish I had been able to let them figure it out for themselves."(X)

Conclusion: Ryan is a grown man and didn’t have it out for Chris. He respected Chris and used the Kurt role to tell his story of being a gay boy in small midwest town.   

Debunk #3

The poor treatment stems from extreme jealousy. For many, many reasons. 

Abby has claimed Ryan is jealous of Chris many times over the years-it still isnt’ true.  Ryan is a very successful producer, writer, creator.  I found a few quotes to back that up.  

“It's a peculiar thing to be asked by Murphy, 50, the closest thing the TV industry has to a proven hitmaker, save, perhaps, for Shonda Rhimes. Over the past decade and a half, he's made pop-culture juggernauts out of plastic surgeons on Nip/Tuck, high school misfits on Glee and witches, nuns and nymphomaniacs on American Horror Story. And in that time, he's become a name brand himself, more famous than all but the biggest stars in his sprawling casts. The showrunner, both pop savant and provocateur, has one of the richest eight-figure deals in television and a coterie of loyalists that includes Gwyneth Paltrow(with whom he's about to pitch a musical dramedy), Julia Roberts, Jessica Lange and now Lady Gaga. He's hosted President Obama at his home for a $40,000-a-couple fundraiser, and when he mentions his friends Norman, Barbra and David, he's referring to Lear, Streisand and Geffen.(X)

"There's a limited number of creators in film or TV where if you put the title plus their name — if you say, 'Steven Spielberg's blah blah blah' or 'Marvel's blah blah blah' — you're going to get a different answer than if you don't," Landgraf says, "and Ryan is one of those guys."(X)

Chris is a successful writer and if he is successful in writing and directing the TLOS movie, he could be a power player in Hollywood. But right now- even with his Time 100 award, he isn’t anywhere near Ryan Murphy.  I suppose Ryan could be jealous of something other than Chris’s success but I have seen no evidence of that. 

Conclusion: Nope. 

bellarke but clarke and murphy have a weird understanding slash ride or die friendship that they don’t admit to

according to my notes, this also coincidentally fulfills @pepperf’s prompt for Bellamy in makeup, so although tumblr will not let me tag you I hope you see this anyway

Before Clarke and Murphy became friends, Clarke didn’t really think Murphy had friends. He was the kid who sat in the back of every class and made sarcastic comments and never seemed to really interact with anyone else. If someone had told Clarke that he just ceased to exist when he exited her line of sight, she would have believed them. He certainly never seemed to do anything with a lasting impact.

And then, he shows up at the first GSA meeting of tenth grade.

As someone who joined thinking she was on the “straight” side of the alliance, Clarke does get that not everyone who joins the GSA is gay, but she has trouble imagining Murphy just showing up to be a supportive ally. Even if he is somewhere on the LGBT+ spectrum, Clarke is still kind of shocked he’s showing up. She didn’t think Murphy participated in groups of any kind.

Not that he really participates in GSA either. He introduces himself only as “Murphy” every time they go around the circle for names/orientations, and then he sits in the back and cracks quiet jokes when the opportunity arises. It’s like having another class with him, except that no one is forcing him to be there. This is what he chooses to do with his time.

“It’s weird, right?” she asks Finn. He doesn’t belong to the GSA, but she gives him the updates.

Finn shrugs. “I guess. Why do you care what Murphy does?”

“I just don’t get it.”

“You don’t have to understand everything, princess,” he teases, and Clarke just rolls her eyes. Obviously she doesn’t have to understand, but she still wants to.

Sign-ups for the group trip to Pride happen in May, and Murphy is behind her in line, so he’s there when Taylor asks, “You’re coming, Clarke?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?”

“Pride is for LGBT members, not allies.”

“I’m bi, remember?” It’s still new, saying it out loud, a word that tastes clunky in her mouth, but it feels right. After she and Finn break up, she’d like to date a girl. That’s an experience she wants to have.

“Oh, well, still,” says Taylor, like that’s somehow all he needs to say.

Clarke’s eyebrows shoot up. “Still what?”

“Well, you’re with Finn. I feel like it doesn’t look good for straight-passing people to be in the group.”

Clarke’s jaw drops, and she’s glad it’s anger that floods her veins and not humiliation. Taylor’s never been her favorite person, but even from him, this is a lot.

Defenses crowd her mind, but so do the inevitable counterarguments. She’s had this debate with herself so many times, if she can really be bi if she’s never kissed a girl, how she can know, how she can consider herself a part of the community when she’s dating a guy. She got through all of those things for herself, but if Taylor doesn’t think she’s bi enough for Pride, she doesn’t have any better argument than “I think I am.”

Unexpectedly, Murphy pipes up. “Hey, dipshit, she’s bi, that means she can go to Pride. What’s the holdup?”

“And whybare you going, Murphy?” Taylor shoots back. “I still don’t know why you’re here in the first place.”

“You don’t get to vet people’s sexual orientations,” Clarke says. “We all heard Pride isn’t for allies, so anyone signing up is queer. Like me.”

“I’m asexual,” Murphy says. “Is that good enough for you? I’m genuinely curious,” he adds. “If you think bi girls with boyfriends don’t belong, I’m guessing you’re not real big on letters that don’t even make the main acronym.”

Taylor’s jaw works. “Obviously, if you think you should come, I can’t stop you, I just think you should consider that it’s not entirely appropriate for–”

“You know what? Fine. I’m not coming with you.” Clarke grabs a sharpie from the bucket on the desk, crossing her name out so hard it’s probably going to bleed through to the table. “But I’ll see you there. Because I belong there.”

She’s out of the classroom before she realizes Murphy followed her.

“If I stayed there I was just going to have to talk to Taylor,” he says, with a small shrug. “Didn’t seem worth it.”

Clarke smiles with half her mouth. “Yeah, I guess not. You want a ride to Pride?”

“If you’re driving, yeah.”

And just like that, they’re friends.

*

Junior year, motivated primarily by spite and a mutual dislike of Taylor, Clarke and Murphy start a Queer Student Union, open to everyone who identifies as queer. To Clarke’s surprise, Murphy not only cares about LGBT issues, he’s actually shockingly informed about them. He identifies as biromantic asexual, although he admits the biromantic part feels a lot more theoretical than the asexual part, mostly because he has yet to meet anyone he likes enough he wants to be romantic with them. But he’s theoretically open to it. He’s done a lot of reading on not only sexuality stuff, but feminism and general activism, mostly because he seems interested in it. Academically, he’s not the greatest, but he’s intellectually curious, likes learning when he’s engaged.

When Finn cheats on her a few months later, he eggs Finn’s car, which is one of those things that Clarke would never approve of and would have told him not to do if he asked, but since he didn’t and she had no idea until several days after it happened, she doesn’t have to even pretend to not be happy.

It feels like the kind of relationship that might not survive college, but they both end up in Boston. Clarke’s at Harvard because she’s that over-achieving legacy kid, and Murphy goes to UMass because Clarke pointed out he could actually get a BA in Women’s, Gender, and Sexuality Studies while still avoiding the classes he hates, which is his ideal learning environment.

It turns out he’s a good litmus test for her pretentious Harvard friends, less because he’s a good judge of character and more because it’s useful to see how other people react to him. Clarke doesn’t really care if they like Murphy–Murphy doesn’t care about being liked much–but how and why they dislike him and how they deal with it tends to give her some good insight into whether or not they’re worth befriending. She and Lexa break up in part because Murphy and Lexa never figure out how to coexist, while Murphy and Niylah’s weird friendship is part of why Clarke starts hooking up with her.

“He’s like all the parts of you that you want to pretend you don’t have,” Niylah observes one night, and Clarke frowns.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You’re supposed to be–The perfect princess. Rich, straight A’s, top of your class at Harvard. And then there’s Murphy, your excuse for not liking people. The scapegoat for all your worst instincts.”

“You have a very weird idea of what makes good pillow talk,” Clarke teases.

“I just think it’s interesting. Have you ever heard the term morality pet?”

“No, psych major.”

Niylah doesn’t bother responding to that. “It’s a concept in fiction. You’ve got a bad character you need to humanize, so they have a morality pet, the sympathetic character that they actually treat well, the one who’s there to make you think the villain isn’t all bad. Murphy’s your immorality pet. He’s the asshole you like because part of you is an asshole too.”

“I can’t believe this is what you think about right after sex.”

Niylah grins, rolls over for a kiss. “I just think it’s an interesting dynamic. The two of you simultaneously make each other better and worse people.”

“That sounds about right,” Clarke agrees, and tugs her closer, ending the talking for a while.

She and Niylah never get quite to being in a relationship, so when they graduate, they don’t break up so much as move apart. Niylah goes back to California, and Clarke stays in Boston in a cheap two-bedroom apartment with Murphy.

Sometimes, she thinks about what her ninth-grade self would think about her life: openly and comfortably bisexual, working in a museum instead of going to med school, living with John Murphy. Even her post-college self has trouble believing it’s real. But it’s good.

After six months of largely successful cohabitation when Murphy comes home late on a Saturday night with a giant bottle of flavored vodka and says, “We need to get drunk.”

Clarke never needs to be asked to drink shitty liquor twice. “Okay.”

Murphy roots around the fridge, frowning when all he finds is Coke and green powerade. “I thought we had lemonade.”

“Nope.”

“Well, this is going to taste shitty with the mixers we’ve got,” he says, frowning at the vodka, which is apparently raspberry flavored.

Clarke grabs the Coke. “If we drink the first one fast enough we won’t taste the second one.”

“Cheers to that,” says Murphy, and pours one generous slosh of booze into his world’s okayest sister mug and another into Clarke’s novelty Pikachu glass.

They’re adults.

After a glass and a half of raspberry-Coke vodka, Clarke asks, “Why are we getting drunk?”

“You need a reason?”

“I don’t, but it was your idea. What happened?”

Murphy makes a face, then drains his drink. “I think I’ve got a crush on a girl.”

It shouldn’t be unthinkable; romantic interest has always been a theoretical possibility for Murphy. He’s always said he could like someone, but Clarke sort of assumed he wouldn’t. It was just hard to imagine what Murphy with a crush would look like, and even harder to imagine Murphy’s type. What does he even like, in a person?

She wants to ask about a thousand questions, but she knows better. Murphy would just shut down. So instead she grabs the vodka, pours him more, and tops it off with what’s left of the Coke. “What girl?”

“She works at the pawn shop.”

John Murphy is probably the only person she knows who, in 2018, not only goes to a pawn shop, but goes to a pawn shop regularly enough to have developed feelings for someone who works there. It’s just so painfully Murphy.

“Is she just being polite to you because you’re a customer?”

He snorts. “She’s not polite to me. She’s an asshole. I keep trying to bring in stuff to sell and she tells me to get better shit.”

“That sounds about right, yeah.”

“So what do I do?”

“Can you just ask her if she wants to get a drink sometime?”

He pulls a face. “Pass.”

“Can you figure out a way to see her outside of the pawn shop without actually asking her?”

“I think she’s in a band.”

“So you got me drunk to agree to go to your crush’s concert with you? I’d do that anyway.”

“Isn’t that weird? Like–going to her concert?”

“How do you know she has a band?”

“She told me.”

“And the concert?”

“There’s a flyer by the register.”

“Did she ever mention it?”

“I asked her what it was and she said it was her band and they were decent.”

“So that seems like a pretty normal way to express interest in someone. You can just say you were curious or bored or whatever.”

“And you’re coming?”

“I’m coming.”

“Cool.” He groans and flops onto his back. “This already sucks.”

Clarke pats his shoulder. “You get used to it.”

*

Murphy’s crush’s name is Emori and she plays drums in a band called “Jose Chung’s ‘From Outer Space,’” which seems like a lot of name for one band, but Murphy tells her it’s an X-Files reference, so at least it makes some sense. There are four of them, two other women on bass and guitar, and the lead singer, a guy with messy black hair and sharp black eyeliner who looks too pretty to be a real person. He’s got a decent voice too, deep and kind of rough, an unvarnished kind of sound that Clarke feels down to her toes.

“Do you know any of the other ones?” she asks Murphy.

“Nope,” he says. “She was right, though, they’re not bad.”

“They aren’t.” She pulls her attention away from the lead singer to focus on Emori, taking her in. She’s cute, with a big face tattoo that must have hurt like hell to get, and long brown hair pulled away from her face by a red bandanna. She’s wearing a black tank top that leaves her shoulders bare, showing off more ink that clearly continues under the fabric.

She’s not who she would have pictured for Murphy, but she also doesn’t know who she would have pictured. She’s always thought Murphy’s type was more about personality than appearance.

Jose Chung’s “From Outer Space” are the first of three no-name local bands in the set, and Murphy, being the disaster that he is, wants to just leaveas soon they’re off the stage. But Clarke sees the lead singer making his way to the bar, so she makes a quick decision.

“I’m going to go make friends with the rest of the band,” she says. “If you want to run away, you can go, but you’re own your own.”

She doesn’t give him a chance to respond, but she hears some spluttered protests that let her know he is following her, and bites back on her smile. It’s definitely a little bit selfish, but only a little; Murphy did ask for her help. Sort of.

There’s just enough free space next to the singer for Clarke to wedge herself in, and the guy glances over, mildly curious, but doesn’t say anything. She checks around for Murphy, finds he’s hanging back, and leans in to murmur, “Sorry, I’m trying to force my friend to flirt with your drummer.”

The guy’s eyebrows go up. This close, he’s even prettier, tan skin dotted with freckles, a small scar placed perfectly to bring attention to his lips, the eyeliner the icing on the cake. “I’m not sure how this is helping your friend flirt with my drummer,” he replies, just as low.

“If I’m here, he can’t talk to me.”

“My drummer eats guys alive.”

“I think he’s into that. That seems to be his type.”

“Huh.”

Clarke flags down the bartender and orders a beer. “You guys are really good,” she offers.

“Thanks.”

Okay, so, he’s hot, but aloof, and a little too full of himself, if Clarke is honest. The band is really good, but they’re playing a small venue in Cambridge. They’re not big enough that he should be above talking to people, so it’s probably just a personality trait.

“What’s your friend’s name?” he asks, not looking at her.

“Murphy.”

“He probably doesn’t have a chance.”

Clarke shrugs. “I’ll be proud of him if he just gives it a try.”

“Low standards, huh?” says the guy.

“He doesn’t get out much.”

“So, how long do I have to stay here for this?”

Clarke blinks. “Sorry?”

“You’re hitting on me. How long do I have to stay?”

“I didn’t know you were in a big hurry to be gone. I assumed you were at the bar because you wanted a drink. But I can go hit on someone else. Is your bass player into women?”

That perks him up, because he’s apparently the kind of asshole who thinks girl-on-girl is hot. “Possibly, but she’s got a boyfriend right now. Sorry.”

Clarke cracks her neck as an excuse to look around. Murphy is talking to Emori and she’s smiling, which means Clarke’s work here is done and she can leave the surly asshole alone. It’s always a shame when a hot boy in eyeliner lets her down, but she’ll live. “Oh well. Murphy’s set, so you should have a good rest of the night.”

He looks a little surprised. “Oh, uh, yeah. You too.”

Clarke raises her glass in salute and slides away from him, moving down the bar to a less crowded spot. She doesn’t let herself look back to see if he’s watching her, but she does let herself hope.

It would serve him right.

*

Unfortunately, but not surprisingly, Murphy doesn’t come up with a better way to flirt with Emori than going to her shows, which means that Clarke is also going to her shows, to be a supportive friend, and getting to know Emori and by extension the rest of the band.

Emori, at least, she likes. She’s quick and funny and takes no shit, which is perfect for Murphy, and despite what the surly singer said, she does seem kind of fond of him. It’s hard to get a great read on her, but she keeps coming to talk to Murphy, and Clarke doesn’t think she’s the type to talk to people unless she actually wants to. Their whole relationship seems to be based on talking shit, but that’s got to be Murphy’s type.

Raven and Echo–the bass and guitar players, respectively–are cool too, easy for Clarke to hang out with while Murphy’s busy with Emori. She likes them all, really. It’s not a hardship.

Except that there’s Bellamy, too.

She does want to like Bellamy, but she can’t get over thinking he’s just kind of an asshole. He’s never really as aloof as he was that first night again, seems to warm up once he’s realized that Emori doesn’t seem to be planning to kick Murphy’s ass, but he’s still kind of cold. And part of her can’t help feeling like she should get over it, that it’s unfair of her to hold a grudge for one night, but she just can’t figure out how to get along with Bellamy.

She does try, but from what she can tell, he doesn’t. She asks him about the band and he deflects, talking about how they’re not really that good, it’s just a hobby. She asks what his real job is and he makes a face, says it’s boring. It’s not as if every conversation is like that, but she always feels like he’s not that interested in the conversation, like he’s waiting for her to just stop talking to him.

“So stop talking to him,” Murphy says, with a shrug. “Who cares?”

“Do you like him?”

“I guess. It’s not like I’m making him a friendship bracelet or anything. Does it matter?”

“You’re my barometer, remember?”

His eyebrows shoot up. “You want to date Bellamy?”

“No!” she says, but it’s too late. Murphy’s running with it.

“I guess he’s probably kind of hot? Not my type, but makes sense for you. And you’re pissed because he’s not interested.”

“I don’t know why you’re acting like this is news.” It seems like a safer tactic than arguing. “I told you I tried to flirt with him the first day, it obviously didn’t work.”

“Yeah, but you’re still pissed,” he says. “So you’re still into him.”

“I want him to be into me.” If she can’t tell Murphy these things, what good is he? “I don’t get why he’s not.”

“Okay, but if you’re not into him, who cares? He doesn’t like you, you don’t like him, no harm, no foul, right? Way better than the alternative.”

“I didn’t do anything wrong. He should like me. At least as a person.”

“I think he’d be good for you.”

That actually does surprise her; she’s not sure he’s ever offered an unsolicited opinion on whether or not she should date someone.

“You do?”

“Yeah, probably. He’s a pretty decent guy and we have fun hanging out. Doesn’t take my shit and gives as good as he gets.”

“But he’s not into me, so I don’t know why we’re having this conversation.”

“Because you wanted to talk about him. You started it.”

“I was complaining.”

“You complain about him a lot.” Murphy groans. “Look, like him, don’t like him, I don’t give a shit. But if you don’t like him, stop caring what he thinks, stop talking to him, and let it go.”

It’s exactly what she should be doing; she flops onto his stomach with a groan of her own. “I hate you she says.”

“Yeah, I know.”

*

“So, I owe you an apology.”

It’s a week after her conversation with Murphy and Clarke has admitted, at least privately, that she still wants to make out with Bellamy and still might kind of like Bellamy, despite all logic and reason.

And now he’s smiling at her, nervous and casual in a t-shirt and glasses at Raven’s game night, and she has no idea what’s happening.

“You do?”

“It’s stupid.”

“Why don’t you just tell me what you’re talking about and we can go from there? Because I’m kind of lost.”

He clears his throat. “So, uh–I didn’t know Murphy’s name was John.”

“And you’re apologizing to me for that?”

“The first night we met you said your friend was flirting with Emori, and I knew she liked this customer of hers named John, so I thought you were distracting me so some asshole she didn’t like could slobber all over her. So I was annoyed.”

“And you only just realized Murphy was her customer crush?” she asks, stuck between amusement and disbelief. “It’s been months!”

“I know! I thought he just got lucky and she liked him, but then she said John was coming tonight and I said I hadn’t met him and the rest of the band made fun of me for like an hour.”

“It kind of sounds like you deserved it.”

He ducks his head, smiling sheepishly, and Clarke smiles too. “Anyway, I feel like–I never knew how to explain without telling you I thought Emori was into someone else. And I still kind of thought you were a dick for trying to distract me with your feminine wiles.”

“I was joking!”

He laughs. “Yeah, uh–anyway. Sorry?”

“You don’t really have to apologize for that,” she says. “It’s not like you were–you’re pretty polite mostly. I thought you had a bad night. And didn’t like me much.”

“Yeah. But I want us to do better, so–can we start over?”

It’s strange, because part of Clarke feels like they never actually started. Like this is actually going to be their first try.

Which makes it easy. “Yeah, I’d like that.”

It should fix all her problems, or at least all the problems she’s admitting she has, but less than two weeks later she slams a bag into the island and says, “I bought vanilla vodka and orange juice and I want it to taste like a creamsicle.”

“Won’t work but okay,” says Murphy. “What did Bellamy do?”

“Who says it’s about Bellamy?”

“Can we skip the bullshit and you just tell me?”

Clarke considers. “Drink first.”

They make it through the first round and then Clarke says, “He likes me now.”

“And you hate him?”

“No, I still want to make out with him.” She sighs. “You were right, I’m totally into him, and now we’re getting along, and everything sucks. He’s really cute.”

Murphy takes another drink of his vanilla screwdriver. “So ask him to make out. At least you’re not trying to tell him you’re into him but not into sex and you’ve never actually dated anyone before. Why are you complaining?”

“Have you figured out a way to mention you’re ace yet?” she asks.

“Nope. It doesn’t really come up in conversation. No one’s like, how much does everyone love sex? They just assume the answer is a lot and don’t bother asking.”

“Sorry.”

“It’s fine. Keep complaining about your thing, that helps.”

She flops onto her back. “He’s just so pretty.”

Murphy pats her leg. “Yeah, that sucks.”

*

Murphy’s problem seems easier to solve than hers, especially in early May. Clarke gives it a week and then, when they’re out drinking with the whole band, asks, “Oh, is anyone going to Pride? Do you guys need a ride?”

“You’re going to Pride?” Echo asks.

“She’s bi,” Bellamy says, even though Clarke’s never told him that. “Or pan?” he adds, glancing at her for approval.

“I usually go with bi, but as long as it covers no gender preference I’m good.”

“I’m biromantic asexual,” says Murphy. Clarke didn’t warn him, but he’s pretty quick with this stuff.

“We always go to Pride because that’s how we got to be friends. Some asshole in our high-school GSA told us neither of us belonged there because we weren’t queer enough.”

“Jesus Christ,” says Bellamy. “Well, I could use a ride.”

Clarke will admit to startling, just a little. She didn’t really think anyone in the band was queer, had just wanted to give Murphy an excuse to share his sexuality. It was always possible she’d get a taker, but it hasn’t seemed likely.

But Bellamy wants to join them. If he’s gay, that kind of sucks, at least for her. But he’s bi or trans–into women at all and queer, basically–he might be her dream guy.

“I know it’s shitty to ask why people want to go to Pride, but I still want to know,” Murphy says.

“Also bi,” says Bellamy, so, yeah. Clarke wants to marry him. “I’ve never actually been to Boston Pride, though. I don’t like going alone.”

“Then you should definitely come with us,” says Clarke, and he gives her one of his melting smiles.

“Thanks.”

“Can I come along as a supportive outsider who would happily make out with a girl if the opportunity presented itself?” Emori asks.

“Definitely,” says Murphy. “Just don’t talk about ally pride or whatever and we’re good. And kiss a girl if you can, I hear it’s cool.”

Echo’s interested to learn that he’s never kissed a girl, and she and Emori and Raven get drawn into that conversation, leaving Clarke and Bellamy off on their own.

“So, that first day we met,” she says.

Bellamy cocks his head. “What about it?”

“I asked if anyone else in the band liked girls and you kind of–” She shrugs. “I thought you were one of those guys who thinks girls kissing is hot and for your benefit. But you were excited I was queer.”

He laughs. “Shit, I didn’t know you noticed. But yeah, I always like meeting more bisexuals. I was rethinking you.”

“Where did you end up?”

“What do you mean?”

She smiles. “You rethought me, so–what did you end up thinking of me?”

He bites the corner of his mouth, glances over at his band mates. They’re not paying attention that Clarke can tell, but she knows Murphy still has part of his focus on the two of them. The rest of the band probably does too. That’s the kind of group dynamic they have going.

Bellamy must be thinking the same thing. “You want to get another round?” he asks.

“Maybe at another bar.”

He laughs again, this bright, pleased laugh, at odds with his rock-star makeup. “Yeah, that sounds right.”

Outside, he says, “I thought I should have picked you up when I had the chance. I was kicking myself for–I’m still kicking myself for not flirting back.”

Her own smile creeps up, starting small but never stopping growing. “You still could.”

“We could just get a drink at my place.”

“I’d love to.”

*

“How much do you think Taylor Macdonald would hate us going on a double date to Pride with our straight-passing partners?” Clarke asks.

Bellamy pauses in his application of glitter to Murphy. Apparently he’s as good as makeup as he is because he taught his sister how to do hers, which works out really well. Clarke sucks at makeup; it’s nice that they have complementary skill sets.

“Straight passing?” he asks, dubious.

“His words.”

“Dick.”

Murphy grins. “I figure if I’m pissing off Taylor Macdonald, I’m doing something right. I hope every time I’m happy, he feels like someone walked over his grave.”

Clarke offers her hand and he high-fives her; Emori smiles. “I’m starting to see why the two of you are such good friends. It didn’t quite add up before.”

“Spite and stubbornness,” says Clarke.

“Our main motivations in life.”

“Exactly,” says Emori. “It makes perfect sense.”

“I wouldn’t go that far,” Bellamy teases, but Clarke just smiles.

“Whatever. We’ve got it all figured out.”

Thoughts on the way they'll end t100? It's not like I trust him but he's got 2 huge examples (thanks to D&D and Rob Thomas) of what fans DO NOT want. Fans don't want despair or plot twits for shock value that ignore the narrative. Plot twists are supposed to be shocking but believable, not a way to feel superior. Always thought C or BC'd die saving their ppl but now it's like what people? sakjdha so idk. It'd be nice if he let the heroes overcome their trauma. It'd give meaning to the story....

I have never, not once, thought the story would end with Clarke or Bellarke dying. Let’s go back to what the show means, shall we? It’s about the surviving of the human race, through a “future generation”, on which lies every desperate hope possible: one, they’re delinquants/criminals, “lost cause” in the eyes of their governement. Two, they’re sent to die (hence, why they survive). Three, they’re sent on a “dead” planet, by a dying civilization. What we discover in the spam of very few episodes after this beginning is that: our “delinquants” aren’t so bad. They all have a history and a capacity to do better, and they even have excuses and/or explanations for what they did. Clarke ended up in a cell to die just because her father wanted to save the Ark. Bellamy ended up “shooting the chancellor” (*gasp* a killer!) to save his sister and because he was manipulated by someone else. And of all the mass of delinquants we’ve had, Monty, Jasper, Harper, Octavia, Finn, Murphy, all these people have shown an ability to love, to be compassionate, to think about what they were doing, to be brave and be afraid, to make mistakes and attone for said mistakes, etc. I have NEVER felt as if one of the plot twists of The 100 came out of nowhere. I have seen Finn’s death, and Lxa’s death come from miles away. And even tho there are storylines that I didn’t like (them going back on the ring at the end of s4 for example), the hints were there. It “made sense” in an idea of survival, even tho one could argue that it was far fetched and that a bunch of teenagers managing to pull that out is “CW material”. Yeah, it kinda is, but it never shocked me as in “OMG I WOULDA NEVER SEEN IT COMING FROM THIS TV SHOW”. And I will have to say that Clarke being left behind was also heavily “teased”/foreshadowed during this season. There was a reason as to why she became a nightblood, ya kno. Clarke was always the self-sacrificing character who always put others’ lives above her own. It was classic Clarke, like easily. But I mean, how many times Clarke has proven that? Has shown how much she’s willing to give for the others? Is that really the message the show wants to send with Clarke Griffin? “Keep sacrificing, it ends at one point”? No. Clarke’s story is all about redemption and hope and humanity. Humanity doesn’t end with death- especially not on this show as we see the idea of PROSPERITY being a big thing, especially through Becca. Clarke is basically our Becca. She has been hated for some of her decisions and actions and yes, somehow, she is responsible for a great deal of pain for a lot of people (MW especially, for example). But she’s a savior too. She’s someone who is always willing to put herself on the line, to inject herself with radioactive blood and to take chips and Flames in order to save humanity. She’s also someone who hasn’t allowed herself to be happy for a very long time. Thing is, while Becca had to sacrifice a lot - even herself at the end - for her cause, Clarke has to learn and to teach us better lessons. Clarke has to resurface. Clarke pointing a gun at her face in tonight’s episode is NOT the end of her story. It’s the crucible of her life, the pain, the guilt, the struggle. And as far as what Jroth said, the idea is not to condemn humanity through this show. For the characters, it seems that it’s been a long desperate walk among the worst kind of humans possible. But at the same time, they met people they learnt to love, people with whom they’ve mend their differences. Niylah, Lxa, Indra, E/cho, Emori, Maya, Gabriel. Even Clarke and Jospehine have learn to kinda live and work together at the end of this particular journey. What we saw from Clarke, contrary to Josephine, was her ability to SYMPATHIZE with Josephine and her struggles and her sadness (ie, the scene with Gabriel having a cancer and all, Clarke DOES feel for Josephine and Gabriel in this situation). To me, there are several quotes scattered through the entire show that do imply a happy ending. A HOPEFUL ending. “See? There’s hope for us yet” that’s one thing. “Do you still have hope?” “Are we still breathing?” as long as you’re alive, you can turn the page. I know we keep referring to that regarding Bellarke, but it’s much bigger than Bellarke. It’s an idea for the entire show. And you know what? Turning the page is ALSO another quote that has come back through the show. Do better. Be better. And you can’t do that if you’re dead. You can’t even do that, even if you sacrifice yourself for the noblest cause possible. What I’d love as an end for the show, is if Clarke was willing to sacrifice herself, minutes, seconds away from doing it, and that people would NOT give up on her. That her friends would come and save her and help her, and be a unit working to keep living- all of them. No sacrifice, no loss accepted, always the hope to do better. It’s like I said, like Arrow, like Supernatural- after so much struggle, you can’t, you CANNOT end these kind of storylines with the message being “and then you die lol”. I said it, if Oliver Queen dies by the end of Arrow, the show would have been worth NOTHING because there is the “purpose” of your show, and there’s the SOUL of your show. And the soul of Arrow is Oliver Queen, a damaged, depressed, PTSD-ridden character who deserves to see that he has a better chance in life. Who deserves to see that after everything he’s been through, he can TURN THE PAGE and let his weapons down and have a chance at being a better person, living a better life. Now adressing VM and GoT. So coming from Rob Thomas we have confirmation that VM is NOT over. At least, it’s not what he intends, we’ll see if the audience follows. VM losing Logan is not the end of her journey, and even tho yes, it’s shitty what he did, it’s not the “final message” he wants to send with this character (to me… too many “reboots” are too many reboots. He shoulda left the show where it ended with the movie, end of story). We don’t know what will be VM’s final “journey” or the key ending of the character. On the other hand… well GoT. Objectively. GoT has a VERY good ending. “Good” as in very cheesy, very fairytale-like, very lovey dovey boo-boo. Did you really imagine that many characters surviving? That many characters “reaching their dream jobs” like Podrick and Brienne, or Tyrion, the Starks or Samwell, etc? I think that’s one element that has disappointed me with GoT too. That was one show where hope was a tiny tiny thread of light and where I was ready to get WRECKED and lose a lot of the characters I loved, and see from the ashes of it, the survivors rebuild everything. (I had watched videos speculating that EVERYONE would die!) What we got? That’s a freaking miracle, I mean, I hate a lot of things, but hello ma boi Podrick is alive! Davos is alive! No more Starks died! Heck, even Winterfell was still standing after everything! It was even TOO good/too cheesy considering what we got before and that was one of my problems. To be honest, I could not tell what was the message D&D intended with this ending, because I really CANNOT read what they did with it. From ep 8x03 to ep 8x04 it seems like two different shows, where characters have different goals all the sudden, and they have different mindsets, and they just don’t communicate anymore. I swear, words can’t describe how much I hate it. Thing is, GoT is an anomaly. And seeing the way the audience reacted to it, it’s proof of that. GoT’s ending was half-assed, and that’s no secret. D&D were tired of it, end of story. It was obvious that they needed more, if not WAY MORE than 8 seasons to build all of this, they refused it and just did THAT instead. I’m pretty sure D&D had nothing but GRRM’s final “goals” for the characters (Dany dead, Jon NoTW, Sansa Queen etc) and just rushed to these in a hot second without really weighing these “destinies”. For example, I think in the books if Bran becomes King, it will be of a VERY different system than the one Westeros has right now. And I don’t mean “oh the chair is destroyed and now three idiots elect the King instead of it being given by blood”, I mean, no council, nothing of this old, twisted and rotten system that has proven to be wrong from the beginning of the story. Thing is, seeing GoT’s, GRRM’s story is pretty clear and straight-forward and no death and no “plot twist” is shocking. You can see it all coming from miles away (the Red Wedding, Ned’s death, Robert’s death, etc) because it’s so well crafted. And it was so well done during these years of the show as well. But D&D never had the talent GRRM has, and it showed for the rest of the show. I mean, hello, it’s so well done in the books that ever since 1996 people have been speculating that L+R = J. Imagine that if D&D had to do it themselves? I’m just laughing imagining the lack of build-up and then them blurting it out at some point just to “shock the audience”. I don’t think Jroth, despite his flaws, would EVER do that. He won’t turn Clarke into a villain last minute. He won’t have Bellamy kill Clarke after everything they’ve been through. And I don’t think either that was what GoT was supposed to be, because at the end, the story is still GRRM’s, and I don’t think AT ALL that this is what he has in mind (to make it simple: it couldn’t even work considering ALL the storylines there are in the books that aren’t on the show). Going back to The 100, I think the show has always been very consistent, and I think that despite there being things I don’t like (for example, bleggo), the characters aren’t heavily changed to justify these kinds of storyline (Bellamy is not a completely different character, he’s still Bellamy at his core, the problem is that the writers never cared to SHOW us the process of him accepting E/cho and building a relationship with her- which is… at least more acceptable than him becoming a totally different character to justify it). I don’t think Jroth’s goal has ever been to “subvert expectations”, he’s NEVER expressed himself like that, except maybe when he focused too much on his AI plot twist instead of seeing the consequences of his queerbaiting and how the fans would react to Lxa dying (even tho I will ALWAYS say it, her death was HEAVILY FORESHADOWED, but it’s easy for fans to ignore what they want to ignore). And I think he’s learnt his lesson, from that moment. And I do believe him when he says he’s had the blue prints of the show in his mind from the start and that he’s going to committ to it because it’s something he cares about that much. And again, I don’t think the message of this whole story could be “don’t worry at the end you’ll die and that’s it”. It’s not the kind of message this network would send anyway (CW). And I don’t think that’s what Jroth intended and it was kinda implied in this interview he did with Kshum. He does say “WELL KIM WANTED THIS-” as if it was HER desire and not his. His intention is not to destroy everything and kill everyone just to be edgy. He has a desire to express something with this show. Destruction is not a way of expressing anything. So even if he expresses it as “we wanted another Apocalypse at the end of s5″ he still intended SOMETHING (characters) to survive from it. When I worry about these kinds of things, I always think about what JKR said. Dying in a war is probably the easiest thing, surviving it and rebuilding from it and learning from it, is the hardest thing to do. That’s why, to me, as bittersweet of an ending THG’s ending is, it’s THE BEST ending to a modern dystopian series to date. It is as cruel as it is important. It is a redemption for Katniss and for Panem just as much. It is embracing the future and acknowledging the scars of the past too. And I think The 100 is about that too. I 100% think that the moral of this story - The 100 - is hope against all odds. Humanity over inhumanity. Living over dying. It’s always about bringing back life and hope in the most desperate and dark situations. I think the moral of the show can be summed up in the Culling scene from 1x05. You think humanity will fail, but at the end of the day, it’ll prevail, it’ll prove better. No matter what we think after 6 seasons, the heart of the show is still Clarke Griffin, a girl living by the model of her father who died, thinking humanity would do better. Hoping against all odds is kind of a burden, it’s a struggle, but it has to pay off for the story to have meaning. I know Jroth already called this show a tragedy, but I think he meant as this show having “dark” characters, dealing with internal struggles and very humanly basic questions. What is bad, what is good. Who is the good guy, HOW are we the good guys, HOW do we do better, etc. Again it can be confirmed with how his vision with Kshum’s vision of a tragedy that is “everyone dies and the ending sucks”. The story can’t have meaning if you don’t answer these questions by the end of your story. I think this story has more of an Odysseus vibes. The characters are seeking home and are struggling through false hopes and they’re losing their ways. But at the end, Ulysse found his way back home and got his “happy ending”, no matter how dark it got along the way, or how many times he (almost) lost hope.

the 100 ask game

tagged by @viviansternwood​

1. What station on the Ark would you be from?

well, judging by real life, farm station, probably?

2. What would you get arrested for on the Ark?

sneaking past curfew, maybe?

3. Would you take off your wristband when you landed on the ground?

nope. i mean, i can understand why the delinquents wanted nothing to do with the Ark but i was always with Clarke on that one.

4. What would the necklace Finn would make for you look like? (Clarke: deer/Raven: a raven duh..)

don’t think i’d want anything from him, to be honest. i never trusted boys like Finn and they never liked me either.

5. If you could resurrect any MINOR character who would it be?

Anya, hands down.

6. Create a squad of 5 characters to go on missions with. Who are they?

Clarke, Bellamy, Murphy, Emori, Diyoza.

7. What Grounder Clan would you belong to you?

have we met any one living by the seaside? cause that would be me.

8. What would your name be in Trigedasleng? (example: Octavia=Okteivia…just make it up!)

what can you even do with Karolina? and an y somewhere, so it’s more like Karolyna? no idea.

9. Thoughts on Finn? Some people hate him, and others love him, so I’m curious

never trusted him and never liked him. i actually remember watching season 1 and thinking “this is your protagonist? seriously?” he was the boy who didn’t think. he did things without thinking about consequences and couldn’t deal with them when they came. and he felt a little--slimy.

10. Be honest. How willing would you have been to take the chip without knowing all the horrible things it does?

i wouldn’t at all. i don’t even like taking tranquilisers, even when i had to, cause i don’t like how they make me feel like i don’t have control. putting a chip inside my head? that’s like the worst nightmare.

11. What character do you relate to most?

Clarke.

12. What character do you like the least?

of the ones still standing? on one hand, there’s Echo, who i just care about very much. but on the other, Kane and Abby should really get off their high horse. and, i’m sad to say, Raven’s attitude is annoying me quite a bit lately.

13. Describe your delinquent outfit. (Would you wear something like Murphy’s jacket with the spikey red shoulder patch or have a trademark like Jasper’s goggles? Be creative, yet practical)

sturdy boots, loose jeans, hoodies and one of those guard’s jackets, i liked those. i’m not particularly creative, outfit-wise, i’d be more focused on gaining layers, cause in that forest, i’d be so bleeding cold! ooh, Jasper’s “earth day” t-shit was a cool thing, too!

14. Favorite type of mutant animal?

definitely the two-headed deer, still. nothing ever made me gasp like that did.

15. What would your job be on the Ark?

probably something in administration.

16. Would you have willingly pumped Ontari’s heart if Abby asked?

i think so? it’s not exactly something i can judge on my previous experience but at least i’m not squeamish about blood.

17. If Lexa wasn’t Heda, but she was still alive then who would have made the best commander?

well, that’s not an easy one cause we haven’t exactly met all that many decent candidates. it’s probably an unpopular opinion but i think Madi will do well with it, simply because she didn’t want it.

18. How would you act if you ate the hallucinogenic nuts like Jasper and Monty?

try to find a way to sleep it off.

19. How would you have dealt with Charlotte’s crime? A more John Murphy approach or Bellamy Blake approach?

definitely with Bellamy on that one. that was one traumatised kid, she needed help, not punishment.

20. Who should have been the Chancellor, if anyone?

i think Abby and Kane both did a half-decent job but again, there weren’t a whole lotta great choices. i think they had the good idea to have a council and the chancellor shouldn’t have any more power than a deciding vote in case of a draw.

21. Would you have been on Pike’s side like Bellamy or on Kane’s side? Or Clarke in Polis?

definitely Kane’s side. 

22. Mount Weather had a lot of modern commodities. (example: Maya’s Ipod) What is the one thing you would snatch while there?

all those real books and all the medical equipment.

23. What would your Grounder tattoos look like? Hairstyle? War paint?

lots of eyeliner, just like i do in life. as for tattoos, no idea, it’s actually one of the reasons why i’ve never got one before - i can’t decide! as for hair, Clarke’s red streaks were cool. and i already have a colour similar to hers in s3 premiere.

24. Favorite quote?

Bellamy’s “If I’m on that list, you’re on that list“ cause that whole scene still breaks me.

25. If all of the characters were in the Hunger Games, who would have the best shot at winning?

Octavia kinda already won hers, didn’t she? also Murphy, because he’d probably choose a very similar strategy, aided by a little discreet poisoning.

26. Least favorite ship? Favorite canon ship? Favorite non canon ship? NOT INCLUDING CL OR BC OR BE

fave canon - Memori, and by extension, the least favourite i probably Murven, just because i can’t possibly see Murphy with anyone but Emori.

fave non-canon? Raven and Roan.

27. A song that should be included in the next season? If there had to be another guest star like Shawn Mendes on the show, who would you want to make a cameo?

heh, they already had one of my favourite tv songs and i nearly keeled over. if they managed to sneak in some of the Symphony of Sorrowful Songs, i would genuinely die. it would fit so well.

28. What would you do if you were stuck in the bunker with Murphy for all that time?

read every book i could find and finally sleep in (hopefully) warm and comfortable bed

29. You’re an extra that gets killed off. How do you die?

i stumble into a grounders’ trap cause that’s just my luck

30. A character you’d like to learn more about and get flashbacks of?

all those new ones we’re gonna meet this season.

31. A character you’d bang?

Bellamy, duh.

32. Would you stay in the Bunker? Go up to Space? Or live on your own in Eden?

Eden, it felt so peaceful for those five years.

33. In the Bunker, would you follow Octavia? What would you do to pass the time underground?

i probably would at first but only until the point when they reached human pâté. and definitely not when she burned down Monty’s miracle farm and wanted to march on Eden with biological warfare.

34. What crime would you commit in the Bunker that lands you in the fighting pits?

refusing the diet;

35. Up in Space, who would you bond with first? Who would be the most difficult for you to get along with?

i think i’d do best with Harper and Monty cause they were both so happy and positive. then Bellamy and Emori; i probably wouldn’t get along with Echo and Raven at all. as for Murphy, that depends on the mood.

36. How long do you think you would last on Earth by yourself?

probably not very long, i’m definitely not the survivalist type. 

37. When the Eligius ship lands what do you do?

run and hide.

38. Favorite Eligius character? Least favorite?

i’m loving Diyoza more and more with every episode. Vinson was creepy in a strangely entertaining way. McCreary was definitely the least favourite.

39. Would you Spacewalk?

fuck, no.

40. Would you prefer to eat Windshield Bugs, Space Algae, or Bunker Meat?

we’ve already established that the bunker diet would be the deal breaker, same goes for the bugs. that scene still makes my skin crawl.

41. Would you start a war for the last spot of green on earth? What would your solution be to avoid it?

i definitely wouldn’t start a war but i’m Polish, i would absolutely defend and avenge it, no matter how hopeless it would seem.

42. Would you rather dig out flesh-eating worms or stick thumb drives into bullet holes?

thumb drives, for sure. your on your own with those worms, mate.

43. Are you willing to poison your sister for the Traitor Who You Love? What would you do to stop Octavia?

really don’t know what i’d do faced with that particular impossible choice but even pulling Clarke out of the equation, Octavia’s plan of invasion had to be stopped. as for the method, Bellamy’s wasn’t the worst. not a good one, obviously, but there were no good ones.

44. Would you go to sleep in cryo or stay awake like Marper?

well, that depends. i’d stay awake if i had a Monty to have that life with but third-wheeling to Harper and Monty? that would only make me feel desperately lonely.

45. Who are you waking up first to explore the new planet?

Raven, cause someone needs to keep an eye on the machines. Jackson cause they needed the doctor. Murphy and Emori for backup.

tagging, and i’m sure some of you have done it already but oh, well: @nvermindiseeyou @clarkgriffon @sometimesrosy @marvelscaptainss @talistheintrovert @queenofchildren @asroarke @bellamys11thfreckle @bellarkebc @el-corazon-y-la-cabeza @dbundles42 @the-most-beautiful-broom @thehundredtimesobsessed @katchyalater @tracylorde @jasperjoordan @she-who-the-river-could-not-hold @eyessharpweaponshot @pendragaryen @johnmurphysass @clarkgriffon @thelittlefanpire @brienneknighted @ghoulbrothers @hostagetakerandhistraitor @peterstarkss @frecklessbellamy @thegriffin-blakefamily

Short Murven

Hi so @johnmurphysass sent me a list of theirs with angst prompts and I have been agonizing over them. This is a really short Murven ficlet, my first, because I wanted to try to write for them and see if I could. Turns out they are the only ship that I only want to write fluff and cute stuff for. Damn. This is rough to say the least. Also, please ignore the timeline mess up. Set in S2 when Murphy and Jaha leave for the dropship.

@welcometosanctum bc I promised some angst.

Prompt: I’m leaving. Tonight. I’m not coming back.

____________

She catches him sneaking out just after midnight.

Raven watches as Murphy and Jaha speak together, too far to hear anything. They have packs on them and are looking around wearily. Raven hasn’t trusted a damn thing to come out of Jaha’s mouth since he showed up in camp. She doesn’t understand how Murphy of all people had gotten intertwined with him. She waits till Jaha walks off towards where she knows there’s a hole in the fence. They’re sneaking out.

“Murphy.” She calls out. He visibly clenches up and looks towards her. She manages to get close enough that he can’t run away, not without her being even more suspicious. “Where are you going?” They haven’t talked nearly at all. Not since they were brought back from the dropship. Not really since they both thought they were going to die.

“None of your business.” John starts to walk away. But Raven has had it the past few days. Her temperament is just as short and done with as anyone else's’.

“I’ll scream. If you try to leave without explaining why. Guards will be here in seconds and you know it.” They both know she’s playing dirty. Murphy can play just as dirty.

“I’m leaving. Tonight. I’m not coming back.” John looks at her as he speaks. His bag is clutched tight to his back. He looks so tired; more than she had ever seen him before. “This place sucks and everyone wants me gone or dead. Might as well give the people what they want.��� He starts to walk backwards with his arms outstretched.

“I don’t.” The two words stumble out. “I don’t want you gone or dead. I’m sure others don’t even if they suck at showing it.”

John rolls his eyes. “Thanks Reyes but that isn’t comforting at all.” But she won’t let him leave just yet. Emotions that have been locked up tight for the past two days are trying to resurface. She forces them down as she clenches her fists.

“Stop being an ass for a second and think about what you’re doing.” She hobbles after him and tries to match his stride. Her leg feels like fire as he refuses to slow down for her. “Murphy you can’t leave. You can say you don’t care about the camp, or the alliance, or even me,” She grabs his arm as she steadies herself, “but I know you’re lying. You have no idea what’s out there or what the hell Jaha is even talking about.” He looks down at her with something she can only say is close to disdain. She tries to find that John Murphy she saw once, the one who told her it would suck to die alone.

“You know nothing, Reyes. You don’t even know me.” John pulls his arm away; the force he uses causes Raven to stumble. “Shouldn’t you be mourning, huh?” He can see Raven physically shut down. If he tried, he was sure he could see the horror and numbness going through her brain.

“Murphy, don’t.” Her voice is choked and it sounds like she might cry. Or scream.

He’s hit a nerve and it’s just what he needs. “I may not know what Jaha is talking about but I know it’s better than being around someone who couldn’t get over an ex.” Raven grinds her teeth and takes a hesitant step back.

“Knock it off. I know what you’re doing.”

He won’t let up. If it takes her hating him all over again for her to let him leave, he’ll do it. “He’s dead, Raven. Finn. Your ex. Only family you had. He’s dead and your supposed good friend Clarke killed him. God, how much did that hurt to watch, huh?” He knows she’s fragile right now. They had all be stunned when they saw Clarke pull away the bloody knife from Finn. But Murphy had seen what Finn had done. He had been there. “He slaughtered a whole village basically. Killed a kid who was just trying to help. Did you know that? Does knowing that hurt more than him being dead?”

Raven shakes her head and tries to keep herself from shaking. He’s trying to hurt her so she’ll hurt him. It’ll be another reason for him to leave. He leans in close with his next words.

“Does it hurt as bad as when I shot you?” Her hand comes up without a second thought. They’re standing so close Raven could reach out and slap him hard enough to bruise. Instead, she clenches her fist and aims lower. Her hand connects with his gut and knocks the air from his lungs.

“Shut up!” Raven is shaking as she yells at him. “Shut up!” She hits him again. Her fist connects with his mouth this time. She ignores the ache from where his teeth cut her knuckles. When she pulls her hand back, they’re both bleeding. “I could have forgiven you.” Raven feels the sobs in her chest and throat. “If you just stop being an absolute horror for one second and think about someone else. I could forgive you for shooting me and leaving me to die.” She holds her hand and takes a step back. Murphy is staring at her with the worst smile she’s ever seen.

He shakes his head as he stands upright. “No you couldn’t have. You’ll hate me for the rest of your life.”

“At one point, I thought we could be friends.” The admission is nearly a lie.

Murphy shakes his head again. “Hate to break it to you but everyone we’ve been friends with, dies. Everyone close to us dies and that isn’t going to change.” He knows she won’t follow him now. He’s pissed her off just enough that she’ll crumble if he says one more thing to her. Good. It’s an ache in his bones for her to hate him. He should be use to being hated, but it hurts nonetheless.

The 100 rewatch: 2x08 Spacewalker

I’ve always hated this episode, and nothing has changed in that respect. It’s by far my least favorite episode of season 2, and in my top 10 worst episodes of the show. I think that the way it deals with the conclusion of Finn’s storyline is badly done on multiple levels. The only good things about it are: a great quote from Lincoln, one of my favorite lines in the show; and the epic last scene, which sets up the next episode, which is one of my favorite episodes.

Rating: 4/10

The first time I watched this, the moment I saw Finn was getting flashbacks, I realized he was going to die in this episode. Though the title is supposed to refer to Finn, because “Spacewalker” was his nickname, we learn in the flashbacks that Raven was the real spacewalker – Finn never actually walked in space. A pleasant surprise: Flashback!Finn and Flashback!Raven actually have chemistry, which was never the case with Finn and either Raven or Clarke in the present. The flashbacks confirm what we have seen as Finn’s main character trait: that romantic love is his main motivation and that he’s ready to do pretty much anything for the girl he’s in love with (even if she hasn’t asked him to do it – in fact, that’s Finn’s usual MO, he likes to play hero to his love interests), regardless of any other concerns. Which may be seen by some as romantic (?), but can be really irresponsible and damaging - to him, the love interest and other people around them. Raven was the actual spacewalker, but Finn was the one who came up with the idea to let her do the walk, as a way to comfort her for being rejected for the space program in spite of her great results, because of her heart rumor. Which would be really nice, if it didn’t mean wasting 3 months of everyone’s oxygen, and getting them in trouble when it was discovered. Finn then convinced Raven to let him take the fall as the spacewalker, because he was still under 18 and wouldn’t be executed, unlike her.

The best part of the flashbacks is that it sets up the relationship between Raven and Sinclair – he decided to give her a chance because of her talents, in spite of her heart problem.

Anyway, this backstory explains why Raven was so desperate to save Finn, more than anyone else, even to the point of starting a war and risking thousands of lives over him: it’s not just that she loved him and that they grew up together, and that, even now that their romantic relationship is over, she still considers him her “family”. (Which is kind of weird… but not unique on the show – in season 5, Bellamy also referred to his girlfriend as “family”.) It’s also because she thinks (and says so explicitly) that she owes him her life. Except… they were both responsible for the spacewalking thing and it was his idea in the first place, so she kind of does not actually owe him anything. Maybe that was Finn’s special talent – being able to make people believe they owed him because of the things he had done for them?

Which brings me to one of the main problems with this episode. It seems confused what the reason for Finn’s tragedy is: one moment it seems like we’re supposed to think he is suffering from PTSD/that his traumatic experiences in war have changed him and that he isn’t responsible for the mass murder he committed, due to mental health issues. That would explain the extreme protectiveness everyone on the Arker side shows towards him and the fact that most of them seem not to be even consider him guilty. But… they never say it, they never act like he has mental health issues, they never try to help him with it, and it wouldn’t explain why they let him carry guns and go on missions. And then, 90% of the time, we’re instead told that Finn did it all for Clarke. It’s not PTSD but “Love Makes You Crazy”? He constantly seems less upset with the fact he killed a bunch of innocent people, and more concerned by the fact Clarke sees him differently or that Clarke is in danger because of him. Even when he finally decides to give himself up to the Grounders to take his punishment –death by a 1000 cuts – he does it because Clarke accidentally got hurt because of him.

And this makes Finn far less sympathetic as far as I’m concerned – in fact, I’ve never disliked him as much as I did when he told Clarke “I did it for you”. Why on Earth would you say that to someone?! That’s a terrible thing to tell a person, “I killed all these people for you” – unless they’re a pathological narcissist or psychopath who would be happy to hear it (in which case, you deserve each other), they are going to feel awful, even though they’ve done nothing wrong. You’re making them feel indirectly responsible for your crimes that they had nothing to do with. Since Clarke is not a pathological narcissist or psychopath, she, of course, feels horrible to hear that. What’s worse, Murphy explicitly blames Clarke on the same grounds. First Clarke blamed Murphy for not stopping Finn in the village (which is not quite fair) and then Murphy reiterates by blaming her because Finn was looking for her (which is 100% unfair). Hey, how about any of you start blaming Finn for his own actions? Then we see at the end of the episode that Clarke really has started to believe this BS, when she blames herself and offers her life to Lexa to save Finn, saying “He did it for me!” And in season 3, ALIE!Raven taunts Clarke by blaming Finn’s death (and other deaths of people she loved) on Clarke, because she “broke his heart”. How I hate that BS when women are blamed for the actions of men they had nothing to do with – because it’s their “feminine wiles” that caused it all, or something? Urgh.

Now, I get the emotional reasons why the main characters from the Arker side are so protective of Finn here. I already covered Raven and Clarke, Bellamy thinks of Finn as one of their own, remembers that Finn saved him in 1x13, and feels responsible for letting him go with a gun and just Murphy to look after him in spite of knowing he was disturbed and dangerous, Abby thinks of him as a kid and feels responsible for sending him and the rest of the 100 to the ground…but still, they are all acting so irrational, so pigheaded throughout the episode, I find it infuriating. Why are they all acting outraged that the Grounders are asking for punishment for Finn? Of course they are. Why wouldn’t they? He went into a village and murdered 18 unarmed civilians who weren’t posing any threat. Why does Abby ask “War crimes?” when Kane refers to Finn’s act that way? Are she and the rest of the Arkers as clueless about what war crimes are as they seem to be clueless about mental health? But we know from 2x04 that at least some of them (Bellamy) are aware of the moral difference between killing enemies in battle and killing unarmed civilians or prisoners. Now, yes, the Grounder customs are harsh – death by prolonged torture and mutilation. But none of the Arkers, except Kane – the only one acting reasonably – are offering any other solution. Kane may be a bit too naïve to think that the Grounders would accept a trial and ruling by Arkers themselves, but at least he is proposing something that makes sense. Abby and the rest of them apparently just expected the Grounders to be OK with Finn walking around free with a gun and still agree to make peace with them? They could have at least locked him up, hid him away somewhere so he wouldn’t be seen, sent him away – anything other than the absolute stupidest thing they possibly could have done!

While most of our protagonists seem willing to go to war for Finn (even Octavia says “They cannot expect us to give up one of our people”), the only people who aren’t are random extras in the crowd who yell that they should turn him over rather than all suffer and die because of him. And they are portrayed negatively, with all our protagonists being outraged at their behavior. It’s one of those frequent times on The 100 where we’re supposed to be upset at the behavior of the mob and despise the crowds. Bad crowd, bad! Except those people are making perfect sense. Why should they be OK with everyone being at risk for someone they only know as a mass murderer, and someone who previously wasted 3 months of their oxygen? They also remember the life on the Ark and the way people were executed for anything that was deemed bad for the survival of the group. They remember the culling, when 320 people volunteered to die to save others (but would have been murdered by the Ark leaders otherwise), and it was for the lack of oxygen. Speaking of which, why is it that Bellamy’s indirect responsibility for the culling is brought up time and again on the show (because he threw away the radio to protect himself and be there for Octavis)– but Finn’s indirect responsibility for the culling (because he wasted oxygen to give Raven a nice gift for her birthday) is never brought up?

Then again, no one except for the Grounders seem to see Finn responsible for the murders he directly committed, all by himself, either. Raven is even ready to throw away Murphy to the wolves instead. Yes, Murphy was a dick and a murderer and he crippled her and they had every reason to hate him – but throwing him to get death by terrible torture for a crime he didn’t commit is pretty ruthless. (Raven can be ruthless, and extremely partisan and biased. I really like her, but I don’t get why the fandom idealizes her so much, saying things like, she perfect and has never done anything wrong.) Bellamy and Clarke are shocked by this, even though they also still hold grudges against Murphy for very good reasons. But Clarke’s argument why they shouldn’t do it is a worrying sign, in retrospect, of how she is also losing her old moral sense and how everyone including Clarke is getting more tribalistic: “Like it or not, he is one of us” – rather than “Like it or not, he is not guilty of this crime.”

One of the few things I really like about this episode is Lincoln’s quote “We all have a monster inside of us, and we are all responsible for what happens when we let it out” – which is one of the quotes touching on some of the main themes of the show. (An opposing quote from this same episode is Clarke’s “The things we have done to survive, they do not define us”). He was probably not only talking about Finn, but also about himself – because he has all the memories of the awful things he did as a Reaper, even though it wasn’t really his fault.

On the other hand, while Grounders asking for punishment for Finn is perfectly reasonable and justified, we learn here that “Blood must have blood” may also mean something that’s definitely not - indiscriminate killing/genocide as retaliation (the warning to the Arkers that “If you don’t do that, she (Lexa) will kill everyone in this camp”) – which is something to keep in mind.

Interesting thing that I noticed: Kane calls Lexa a visionary, after spending some time talking to her and coming with the impression that she’s a flexible leader. Lincoln seems to agree with this, saying “If it was someone else, you’d all be dead”. This is the start of the rather contradictory way that Lexa’s leadership will be portrayed throughout the show: one moment she threatens to kill all the Arkers, the next she’s portrayed as a leader who will give peace a chance. One moment it seems like her authority among the Grounders is unquestioned; the next, that she is going to be killed by her own people if she doesn’t exact the revenge they expect (Lincoln explains that, even if she wanted to spare Finn, she couldn’t because she would be dead by morning.) In any case, if opting to try to not commit genocide makes you a visionary and unique Commander… I don’t want to know what the other Commanders were like. The bar has obviously been set very low.

Anyway, what she actually does in this episode is very reasonable and one of her best decisions – deciding that Clarke’s mercy kill of Finn should be taken as enough of satisfaction. Her expression was unreadable when Clarke was emotionally begging for Finn’s life. (Clarke’s arguments were a mixed bag, BTW. “Show my people how powerful we are, show them you are merciful” – that’s something I can see appealing to the Grounder Commander. “Show that you are not savages” – mmm, maybe not the best thing to say. It’s not surprise Lexa just replies: “We are what we are”. Not that I think she had any chance of changing her mind anyway.) But she looked surprised and impressed with Clarke when she realized what she had done, because mercy-killing Finn (to save both him from torture, and everyone from war – contrary to Raven’s plan, which was for Clarke to kill Lexa and provoke chaos to save Finn) was both brave and incredibly emotionally tough thing to do.

Whatever else I feel about Spacewalker, the last scene is a great dramatic, heartbreaking moment. Clarke’s relationship with Finn was IMO never something that had future – it was, narratively, always a way to cause her pain, but also to show the strength of her character. It’s also one of her big emotional traumas that shapes her character and her later emotional reactions. It’s very telling that Clarke tells “I love you” to Finn for the first and last time when he is about to die – and that the only other time she has said “I love you” romantically to someone will be to someone who is already dead (Lexa in COL in 3x16). In fact, I think that the only time she’s said ILY in any way to someone who’s not dead or dying is to Madi in season 5, and even that was during goodbyes when they weren’t sure they would see each other again.

Timeline: Present day events take place very soon after the previous episode, which is about a month after the 100 landed on Earth. (Which means Clarke has either already turned 18 or will soon during season 2.) The flashbacks are set “one year earlier”, on Raven’s 18th birthday. This means she’s about 19 now, and over a year older than Finn, who still hadn’t turned 18 in the Pilot (and may or may not have turned 18 in the meantime).

Body count: Finn. The second main cast member to be killed off, after Wells in 1x03, and the third on-screen mercy kill (the first one was Atom, also by Clarke). The number of surviving Delinquents is now 51 (the 47 in Mount Weather, Clarke, Octavia, Murphy, and Monroe).