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#he'd never
doctordiscord123 · 2 months
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Can I request the stupid bestfriends moment with Dark and Host? Not necessarily what anon shared, but just give me silly shenanigans of these two usually straight laced egos. XD
Dark and the Host sat at the kitchen table in the manor, talking quietly, conspiratorially. They'd been whispering most of the morning, drinking their respective teas, and occasionally one of them would laugh before going back to whispering.
It was, frankly, making the rest of the house nervous.
Bim, of course, was one of the few who had the balls to directly ask what was up. Marching into the kitchen, he sauntered right up to the pair, and opened his mouth. "What --"
He didn't even get the word out before he was gone, teleported to the other side of the manor by a simple muttered few words from the Host.
Dark burst into laughter, and he leaned back in his chair, a little bit of a mischievous glint in his eyes. "You owe me now, Host. I knew he was going to be the first to ask."
Somehow, the Host conveyed the motion of rolling his eyes, though he was smirking slightly, and a $20 bill appeared on the table that Dark slipped into a pocket. "...The Host thought for sure it was going to be Wilford. He doesn't usually go this long without needing his cotton candy stash."
Dark grinned, and winked. "He doesn't~ But you said nothing about delivering it to him~"
The Host's mouth fell open. "Now that's cheating."
Dark made to reply, but then Bim came storming back in, hands on his hips, and he made an affronted sound. "Now what in the Hell was that?! You can't do that to a man! What are you two doing?!"
"Nothing." The reply was instantaneous, and unison.
Bim threw up his hands. "Great, thanks. Helpful. Fuck off." And he promptly left, muttering darkly under his breath about blind bastards and monochrome morons.
Dark and the Host immediately went back to their whispering, grinning at each other and listening close. "Anymore secrets you're willing to divulge, Host?"
"None that wouldn't make Darkiplier's head spin~"
"Oh those are the best ones!"
"Fine, fine. But if Darkiplier says a word to Google about what the Host is about to say, he will personally find a way to kill Darkiplier permanently."
"Oh don't make promises you can't keep. Now spill."
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thedummysdummy · 1 year
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Given the Opportunity...
A request of a request. You know who you are ;)
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At no point in the year would more fame and fortune be found in a single room. Soft music floated from the string quartet in the northeastern corner of the room and over the guests, mostly ignored and definitely underappreciated. Smartly-dressed waiters carried trays of tiny hors d'oeuvres and cocktails in and amongst the glittering, glistening, and glamorous guests. A low level of chatter lay like a blanket over the scene, as warm and inviting as the golden lighting. 
Victor really didn’t care for any of it. 
The businessman sat at a table in the corner, welcoming those who approached, but making no moves to approach anyone else. He’d been invited as one of the sponsors of this year’s entertainment awards; duty got him through the door, but little more than that. If the girl had been there he might have actually managed to enjoy himself. However, she currently stood behind a camera in Bali. Without him. 
“Have fun, okay? Maybe not as much fun as you had last time I told you to have fun, but I don’t want you to just sit in the corner and pout the entire party. Goldman swore to me he’d get you home safely.” 
His sweetheart’s words echoed through his mind and Victor began to chuckle. She sure did know him, didn’t she? He stood and forced himself to approach the center of the room where most of the party was occurring. A waiter wandered past with a tray of scotch, which Victor happily reached out and obtained. The fiery liquid rolled down his tongue into his belly where it warmed him from the inside out. 
“You’re Mr. Li of LFG, aren’t you?” an unfamiliar voice called out. Victor looked up from his drink and found the voice attached to Ms. Elnora Vaughn, one of the most highly acclaimed actresses of the year. He nodded and her face lit up. “I thought so! My, you are even more handsome in person, I must say.”
Victor lifted his cup to hide the eye roll. He recognized blatant attempts at flirtation when he saw them and had no intent to give anyone the wrong idea. “I’m in a permanent relationship. But thank you for the compliment.” He finished his drink and placed the empty cup on a passing tray, then disappeared into the crowd. 
The first drink had him feeling quite pleasant and Victor soon reached for another. And another. He had a high tolerance, after all. And a few drinks definitely made a room full of high-and-mighties much easier to bear. There was no way he would over drink. 
Such were the thoughts of someone more concerned with avoiding a certain Ms. Vaughn than with keeping track of how much alcohol he had consumed. Each went down easier than the last until he had to sit to avoid becoming better acquainted with the floor. 
This had the unfortunate consequence of making him a sitting duck. 
Within minutes, Ms. Vaughn seated herself in a chair only inches away from Victor. “Mr. Li, you are a hard man to keep track of! Glad to see you’re finally stationary for a moment. I wanted to get to know you a little better!” She scooted her chair a little closer to Victor as if testing his limits. 
He scooted his chair a little farther away. 
“Why don’t you tell me a little more about yourself, Mr. Li? It’s so rare that you’re available for conversation! What kinds of things do you like?” 
Victor turned his head a little slowly, feeling like his brain was sloshing around in his skull. It probably was, honestly. “I like my girlfriend. She’s the most beautiful woman on the face of the planet.” His words held just the slightest fuzzy edge, but really didn’t reveal the extent of his drunkenness. “I love my girlfriend. She should be here, not in Bali. She should be here with me where she belongs.” 
A slight sigh of frustration slipped from Elnora’s lips and she seemingly felt the need to try another tactic. She scooted closer to the table and hiked up her chest just enough to ensure her assets were displayed to their full size. She then leaned over toward Victor and looked up at him through her lashes; he didn’t even glance at her display. “I hear you’re quite the romantic. That girlfriend of yours better appreciate you! You’re the entire package, you know.” Elnora fluttered her lashes and smiled, though her eyebrows narrowed when this still seemed to have no effect. 
A vacant smile spread across Victor’s face and he closed his eyes, picturing the girl behind his eyelids. “She deserves the entire world. And I’ll give her the entire world. She’s the only person in the world.” 
“Isn’t she just some producer or something? You deserve more than that, Mr. Li. You could have any woman in the world. Why settle for some…nobody?” She reached out and placed a hand on Victor’s arm, which he whipped away with a scowl on his face. 
“Don’t touch me! My girlfriend is perfect. You should meet her. She would make your life better. She does that. Even though she’s a dummy, she makes life better.” Victor leaned forward in his chair and scowled, his soggy brain processing whether he had enough sobriety to stand up without making a spectacle of himself. Even in this state, he had the sense to get out of this situation. “Good night, Ms. Whoever. I need to go find my girlfriend.”  Elnora watched Victor stumble into the crowd, her eyebrows encroaching on her nose’s territory with how low they scrunched. Never before had a man so blatantly refused to give her even the time of day! Especially when they were as unsteady on the drink as Victor seemed to be. Was she losing it? That thought only made her more annoyed. She slammed the rest of Victor’s abandoned drink and wandered off into the crowd herself to make sure he was the problem in this equation.
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phantom-of-the-501st · 9 months
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Remember that this is not the proof that they love each other
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That was a last-ditch attempt from Crowley to get Aziraphale to stay
This is the proof that they love each other
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Their love wasn't just made real because they kissed
It always existed
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tryhoney · 6 months
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hs4 punk album PLEASE
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canisalbus · 4 months
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I love the duo, both the historical setting and modern AU. Does Vasco ever go to confession while Machete is running it, just to 'confess' to something they did before as a way to tease?
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lovely-v · 2 years
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I do genuinely believe that the Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild (and arguably the Zelda franchise as a whole, though i myself have played literally none of these games) is closer to fitting the description of ‘Tolkien-esque Fantasy’ than most other movies/shows/games/books etc that claim that label
Like, compare this post by tumblr user wufflesvetinari, which makes an important point about Tolkien’s worldbuilding, and also lives in my head rent free:
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and then these quotes from Jacob Geller’s “Every Zelda is the Darkest Zelda”
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and his conclusions about the messages in Zelda games are thematically very similar to the through-lines about friendship and love in LOTR, and what a lot of authors miss about what makes a fantasy story personal and memorable:
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“A world without joy and humor isn’t a compelling world to fight for” is exactly why there are so many pieces of fantasy media out there that just feel like carbon copies of each other (i’ve seen many posts that explain this better than I can though I can’t find any specific ones at the moment, just know that I didn’t invent this thesis). You’ve got the cool swords, you’ve got the wizards and the spells and the battles, but first and foremost you need the LOVE.
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2.12 Chimney Begins - 2.09 Hen Begins - 2.16 Bobby Begins Again - 7.04 Buck, Bothered and Bewildered
Tommy's family arc
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hailsatanacab · 6 months
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A Persuasive Argument - dpxdc
"Great!" Danny says, clapping his hands together to get everyone's attention. The dinner table falls silent as everyone looks towards him. It's a full house today and, honestly, Danny's a little nervous. "I'm sure you're all wondering why I gathered you here today."
"It's dinnertime. In our house." Duke mutters, while doing a very bad job of concealing his yawn. He holds his fork poised over the braised beef, but, just like everyone else, still looks towards Danny before tucking in. It's intriguing enough to wait.
"Yeah, no one misses Alfie's dinner." Dick says, with a brilliant smile that Danny can't help but return.
"Precisely! What better time to talk to you all than when you're all actually here!"
"Wait, I thought you came round to work on our English essays?" Tim asks, blinking owlishly.
"I'm afraid I've lured you here under false pretences, Tim."
"This is where I live."
"I would still really appreciate help on that essay though, I mean, what the hell is Hamlet even about? I just don't get that old time-y language, like 'Hark! A ghost hath killed me!' - absolute rubbish, what does that even mean?"
"The ghost never kills anyone in Hamlet, he's there to tell Hamlet that he was murdered. Have you actually read it?"
"No, but it sounds like you have. Tim, I want this guy to help me with my essay instead. I know for a fact that you haven't read Hamlet, either."
"So? We don't need Jason, I've read the Sparknotes."
"Hi Jason, I'm Danny, pleasure to meet you, summarise Hamlet in three sentences or less."
"Am I auditioning to help you write your essays? I can't believe you’ve gone through your whole school life without reading it, it’s good!"
"Hamlet, along with a number of other classics, was banned in our house because it portrayed ghosts as intelligent and sympathetic beings rather than evil, animalistic beasts. I didn’t even get to see The Muppet's Christmas Carol until last year with Tim! It was surprisingly good, and I hate Christmas because everyone always argued and it sucked. But we're getting off topic. I—"
"No, no, please go back to that, because what the fu—"
"Boys, please." Bruce interrupts, looking to the world as if he wants to hang his head in his hands. "Danny, you were about to say something?"
"Oh, yeah, Mr. Wayne! Thanks!"
"Please, call me Bruce."
"Well, that very succinctly brings me to my point, because I'd actually really like to call you dad."
Nobody says a word. Nobody even blinks, all as shocked as the other, watching open-mouthed as Danny pulls his laptop out from beside his chair. Bruce can definitely feel a headache coming on.
"Before you say anything, I've prepared a 69 slide PowerPoint presentation on why you, Bruce Wayne, should adopt me, Danny Last-Name-Pending. Please save your questions, comments, and verdict until the end, thank you."
#dpxdc#batpham#i forget - can we tag the parent fandoms? w/e#immediately alfred's like: while i do appreciate your initiative may i suggest it wait until after dinner?#and danny - who has barely eaten proper homecooked food ever - takes one bite and then absolutely wolfs down the whole lot#after he's finished he's like 'bear with - I've got to add that to the 'Reasons I Would Like to Live Here' section'#danny's powerpoint has tailored sections for each batfam member with lists of reasons why they'd get along#my au thoughts on this is that the fentons disowned danny when he told them he was phantom#and that this is after the ultimate enemy - wherein which he allied himself with the JL to fight against dan#(which didnt really work at all - BUT he knows some of their identities now INCLUDING batman's)#so one of the main reasons why he'd be a great fit is that he knows their vigilante status anyway so they don’t need to worry about secrets#dick just turns to tim like 'he’s your friend. he learnt this from you.'#tim: 'i didn't tell him our identities!! i would never!!'#dick: 'no i know that. it's the stalker tendancies. it's baby tim all over again'#tim: scandalised gasp#they all eat dinner in silence just super subdued and in shock and sending glances to bruce and danny#duke like: 'so i know I'm the last one in the family but like... this isn't how it normally happens right? did any of you make powerpoints?#tim gets all shifty because he absolutely did make a powerpoint he just never actually showed it to anyone#everyone stares at tim because they all know. it was in one of bab's blackmail files she has on him#damian's slide has danny offering to throw down at any time. 'tim says you like to prove yourself with your skills?#how about a real challenge? if i beat you then you have to vote yes to adopting me!'#damian is in two minds about accepting because... 1) look at him damian could take danny in his sleep! but#2) on the off chance that he does win... damian does not want any more brothers#(he takes the bet and its a suprisingly fun fight - and while he'll never say this... he would vote yes even without the wager)#on one of danny's slides there's a picture of ellie: you'll also get my clone sister! two children for the price of one!!#uhhh.... thats it now - I've been having fun with this haha#spent all day with the 'ive lured you here under false pretences' 'danny i live here' line in my head haha#anyway enjoy!!!!!! this was fun#i wanna make these slides so bad
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turtletaubwrites · 27 days
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My greasy boy 🥰🔥
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reineydraws · 8 months
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kyojuro corruption arc
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raepliica · 11 months
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Heartbeat
[image description: A grayscale Trigun comic featuring Vash and Wolfwood.
Against a black background, child Vash floats in Ship 5, curled up and with his thumb pressed to his mouth. Heartbeat noises sound around him, and he looks at peace. The background shifts to white and shows adult Vash, sitting shirtless with his knees pulled up to his chest. The heartbeat sound continues only to be interrupted by knocking. Wolfwood, from outside the bathroom, asks, "Hey blondie! You fell asleep in there?"
The scene expands to reveal Vash sitting curled up in the bathtub, shower spraying on the back of his head. His clothes are left aimlessly on the bathroom counter and floor. From outside the bathroom, Wolfwood, shrugging of his jacket, continues, "… The sand steamer leaves at dawn tomorrow so don't take all night. I'm not waking you up gently if you're late." Vash's eyes continue to look downward, glazed and unfocused. Step sound effects and a yawn sound from outside the bathroom before Wolfwood says, "'m going to bed…". In the tub, Vash sits curled up against a dark background, before eventually lifting his head and unfurling himself as the background grows lighter.
He twists around to turn off the shower and then looks at the floor, going, "Ah." He sits, thinking, before calling out "Wolfwood?". A sleepy Wolfwood replies, "…yeah?" from offscreen. "I forgot my towel!" Vash exclaims. "Ugh, look under your change of clothes… Knew you'd forget so I left it there…" a grouchy Wolfwood replies. "Gee, thanks!" Vash replies, a cartoony doodle of him saying "so reliable!".
Vash, shirtless but with sleep pants on, opens the door, towel draped over his head, to see Wolfwood, reclining on the bed. Wolfwood's smoking and holding his rosary, lit by the light from the bathroom. Vash climbs into bed next to him, towel still around his shoulders, and rests his head on Wolfwood's chest. His eyes close and then open to see Wolfwood watching him. Vash exclaims, "Oh! It's speeding up!, and Wolfwood bonks him on the head before saying, "Get on here since ya wanna be so up close 'n personal!". The two tussle briefly and Vash laughs before Wolfwood tucks the blanket around them. Wolfwood continues to smoke as Vash curls up against his chest and listens to his heartbeat, the background turning black once again as he smiles, content. /end id]
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konigsblog · 1 month
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brain rotting away with thoughts of simon riley and his somnophilia kink...
cw: somnophilia (consensual & previously discussed) MDNI 18+
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Simon appreciates the trust you have to allow him to slide into your gummy, spongy walls and use your pretty, slick cunt for his release. His breathing quickens at the pleasure against his meaty cock. The sound of a branch hitting against the window and the sound of the light rain pattering against the glass soothes you to sleep. Your breathing is shallow and quiet, along with the sound of your snoring.
His calloused, rough hands touch your body, and his firm and tight hold on your hips leaves indents along your skin. Your eyes are tightly shut, and Simon's lengthy, veiny dick throbs at the tight confines of his boxers, feeling a couple sizes too small for his achingly hard cock. You look so peaceful and relaxed, while Simon is dying for his release. He admires the sight of you before he begins to lift up your his t-shirt to touch your hardened nipples. Simon coos at the softness of your breasts, and your pants dampen with your arousal as he grinds himself against your cunt slowly.
Simon's hung cock springs from his boxers, smearing his thick and milky arousal along his muscular abdomen. He huffs and puffs as he begins to rut against your folds slowly, the wetness of your creamy stickiness causing Simon's eyes to roll to the back of his head. He heaves at the sensation of your pussy pulsing around nothing. He can feel the wetness and warmth of your beautiful, swollen cunt, with each thrust leaving Simon even more desperate.
His growls and grumbles are hushed as he bites his bottom lip hard, throwing his head back as he feels his veiny dick throb and twitch. Your juices coat his shaft, smearing along his lengthy dick that oozes his white release from the tip. He can smell your sweet juices, and it's only driving him closer to his orgasm. Each thrust leaves Simon even more delirious than the other as he pumps and grinds himself against you, his core tightening as his orgasm inches closer and closer. The sight of you like this leaves Simon feeling almost possessive—how perfect you look when you're asleep, how vulnerable you are. He couldn't imagine a world without you, his head spinning as he felt himself throb and pulse, his tip beginning to weep pre-cum as he rolls his dick against your pussy.
Your hole drools with arousal and the sweet juices that Simon dreams of tasting and fantasies about. You plague his every thought, his calloused and scarred fingertips against your hardened, perky nipple, causing your body to shudder and his muscular hips jerk and twist as his orgasm comes down on him all at once. He throws his head back, letting out a deep, hoarse growl at the feeling of his tip leaking all over you. Although he's light-headed and dizzy, he can hear the sounds of your confusion and the bedsheets rustling, alerting Simon of your awakening. You mumble, sucking in a sharp breath at the sight of your pussy covered in white fluids, his semen still dripping from the tip as his chest rises and falls, still trying to catch his breath.
Although instead of rolling over or falling back asleep, Simon feels your hand grasp at his firm cock, spreading your slit and pushing him inside. Simon immediately grunts out praise, telling you what a good girl you are, as he begins thrusting slowly. His thrusts are sloppy and messy as he cups your jaw, his forehead pressed against yours, blood running down his chin from biting his lip so hard. He huffs and puffs, barely able to contain or control himself as his pace quickens. Simon gazes down, rolling his thumb over your sensitive clit and watching as your body shakes with pleasure. The sweet smell of your arousal is leaving Simon almost addicted, as he feels himself inching closer once again.
This time, it doesn't take Simon very long. He's already heaving and panting like a dog in heat, and his thrusts get quicker and deeper at the tightness of your gummy walls around his hard dick. The sounds of your whimpering and moaning cause Simon to reach his orgasm; the feeling of Simon filling your hole causes you to squirt against his abdomen, coating him in the glossy shimmer of your release.
Just two horny fucks laying together, breathing heavily and getting off for hours, until the sun rises and the birds begin chirping.
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vypridae · 3 months
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silly thing i doodled of @sleepykittties fic 'Clerical Error' (link here) because i cannot get enough
don't ask how val found out what vox looked like in heaven (vox doesn't wanna talk about it)
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ruporas · 1 year
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good mornings throughout the travel
[ID: Two comics of Vash and Wolfwood from Trigun Maximum. The second is underneath the read more.
The first is in four panels and follows Vash and Wolfwood through hotel rooms. First, Vash and Wolfwood exit adjacent rooms, and Wolfwood has sparkles floating around him as he exclaims, “Rise and shine! Ready to go?” Vash frowns, displeased, and says, Urk— Good morning to you too.”
Next, they’re in a room with two beds. Wolfwood is awake and fully dressed. He’s sitting on the bed and smoking, back turned away from the viewer and he says, “Wake up already, sleepyhead.” Vash sits up with his eyes still closed and yawns before saying good morning. After that, they’re sharing a bed, and Wolfwood gets up and says, “Morning, sunshine. Time to get up.” His body shadows Vash from the sunlight. Vash is still lying down with a blanket draped over him as he mumbles good morning.
Finally, they’re embracing in bed, both shirtless. Sunlight shines on them, but their contact allows their shadows to drape over their faces. Vash smiles, kisses the top of Wolfwood’s head, and says, “Good morning, Wolfwood.” Wolfwood sleepily says, “Mph, g’morning, needle-noggin’,” snuggling into on Vash’s shoulder. End ID] ID CREDIT
TRIMAX Vol. 10 Spoilers under read more // bonus comic
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[ID: The bonus comic starts with Vash asleep in bed, fully clothed with his hair half-black. Someone says “Good morning,” and Vash says, “Morning, Wolf—w...” He trails off as Livio, holding a plate of food, stares with abject shock.
Livio says, “I’m sorry.” Vash, smiling but sweating, says, “No, it’s my bad...” Livio repeats, “I’m sorry.” Vash says, “Geez, stop apologizing,” and cuts off Livio’s “I—” with a “Good morning, Livio.” Livio quietly mumbles, “... Good morning...”
Vash sits up from the couch he was sleeping on and looks down, thinking, “... That’s right. I won’t wake up to you anymore... I have to get used to that...” End ID]
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willowser · 6 months
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thinking about you laying in bed with bakugou and lightly tracing the messy edges of the scar in the middle of his chest, hardly able to comprehend how deep that wound runs. it had already been there for years by the time you'd met him, but sometimes you see it and are unable to swallow the fact that—at one time—you were alive and he wasn't.
very quietly, you say, "it's crazy to think how easily i could have missed you,"
because it's not every day you meet and fall in love with a man that's died and come back. if fate is destined and soulmates are real, you imagine the two separate paths of your lives traveling parallel, in sync—and his breaking away for one horrible moment, torn from you before you even knew it.
bakugou is half-asleep, you know, but he shifts until his chin is lightly nudging your forehead, and speaks into your hair. "nah," he murmurs, voice thick and slow and slurred. "would'a found you eventually."
and somehow, you can't find it in your heart to doubt him.
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astrolavas · 1 year
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thinking about the... potential clawthorne woodcarving mentorship.
+ bonus cuz also thinking abt how if hunter ever met dell's palisman and got reminded of flapjack, he'd probably feel bad abt making that association cuz he knows what it's like to be seen only as someone's different version (even though the bird wouldn't mind much so lol)
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#eda having that palistrom seed.. hunter saying he wants to learn how to carve palisman... his relation to clawthornes. it HAS to mean STH js#the owl house#toh#hunter toh#toh hunter#hahaa always thinking abt hunter growing a soft spot for palismen and loving creating and bringing them to life#but never being able to replace flapjack no matter how many palismen for other ppl he carves. I'M GONNA-#:((((( :///#like he's not going to want to replace flapjack just like that rn. cuz he LOVES that bird. it's gonna be so hard for him to just.. Move On#and flapjack's a PART of him.. so very curious where they'll go with this because..... HM. HM like he serves as his disability aid almost#and he can't just REMAKE him. but he cannot also just.... ignore what happened straight away. but it's also important to heal#but whatever he decides to do i feel like he'd love to just............ create. whether it be for himself or others#BUT GAH. ANYWAY XKJSJSK wrote an essay abt this already don't need to write one in the tags TOO. so uh .. yea#little guy.. pls find happiness#my art#fanart#hunter#hunter noceda#hunter wittebane#eda#eda clawthorne#dell#dell clawthorne#dell's palisman#toh art#edalyn clawthorne#also like...... if flapjack and dell's palisman were caleb's and evelyn's palismen...... and knew each other........#and while flapjack was waiting for his new person at the bat queen's cave dell's palisman was being passed down clawthorne generations#OUUHGHHHHGHHHH they were probably friends..... they Knew each other#what's up with you you mysterious yellow bird with eyebrows...... what's your story
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