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carrotkicks · 9 months

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Fugitives arc - Abridged vrs.

(part of the sends them to school au)

hehe so guess what! I took my insanity to new heights and I actually tried to write (horrifying) do tell me how it goes for you

It took exactly 9 seconds to find the extra bandages. Dr. Mori was always reliable about keeping medical supplies ready on hand but Dazai counted anyway. It’s a habit she’s grown over the years. Her eyepatch had gotten rather grimy after a long day on the run, and the bacteria that may have collected could give her another infection, so she might as well change it, right?

Right! That’s a good start. Redoing her bandages is an excellent next step in her plan to somehow get herself and Chuuya out of this debacle.

Speaking of, Chuuya was currently in the bedroom, trying to find something to wear that was left lying around in this safe house. Dazai had helped her take a bath earlier, and it took a lot of effort on her part to not freak out. Not that Chuuya noticed, of course. Chuuya might have a second special ability to be completely oblivious to some things. Like when someone’s putting the moves on her, or when she’s in pain. It’s as though she entirely lacks self-preservation. Does she have a death wish or something? Oh wait –

Dazai freezes that horribly ironic train of thought to remind herself she’s in a bathroom surrounded by puddles of Chuuya’s blood and tattered clothes. After the bandages, I’ll clean this mess. That’s a good next, next step.

Chuuya had gotten injured, somehow. A deep gash on the back of her neck, like a creature sunk its claws in her and pulled something out. Dazai frowned at the thought as she pulled her patch off. Chuuya hasn’t said a word about why they were hiding but after the events of the past few days, Dazai’s overactive mind was starting to paint a bleak picture.

Chuuya wasn’t at school for the past few days. On the third day of her absence, her literature teacher pulled her aside with a packet of coursework in hand.

“I know you’re close to Nakahara-chan. Perhaps you can deliver her the materials she’s missed this past week so she doesn’t fall too far behind. And check in on her too, okay?”

Of course, Dazai readily agreed. Their Sensei has always shown exasperation towards Chuuya’s poor attendance habits, but today there was a strange tightness in her smile that made Dazai’s stomach settle uncomfortably.

Kunikida decided to join her to deliver the notes – “Not that I don’t think you’re capable of it on your own. I’m putting up with you because it’s a dangerous location, and I would like to see how Nakahara-san is doing” he declared. Naturally, Dazai had cheerfully wrapped an arm around his waist and accepted his chivalrous offer. Kunikida may give the pretenses of aloofness but he worries too much for the act to hold any weight. That’s how Dazai managed to figure out what happened after that disastrous mistake on her part last Friday.

Kunikida and Yosano both agreed to this story: Chuuya looked very pale when they entered the club room. She claimed she was ill and decided to leave after minutes in. That’s where it ended, frustratingly enough. At yesterday’s Detectives Club meeting, Ranpo mentioned to her briefly “I don’t think things look very good at home for Chuuya-kun.” Dazai nodded.

I figured as much too.

That’s why when she and Kunikida stepped up to a ratty-looking apartment unit in a ratty-looking apartment complex in the Suribachi neighborhood on the outskirts of Yokohama, she had Hirotsu in a van full of Mafia guards parked two blocks away. Her security detail was also following close by but she’s not supposed to know about them, so if anyone asks, what security detail?

“This is the right place?” Kunikida asked, looking back at the surroundings. The area didn’t seem safe, at least for a couple of kids wearing uniforms for one of the most prestigious private academies in Yokohama. Even if those kids were ability users.

“It’s the address Sensei gave me,” Dazai responded in a relaxed fashion. She gazed back to where Kunikida was looking. An armored truck hidden under the shade of a tree.

“Supposedly there’s a military base nearby,” she rationalized. Kunikida only nodded uneasily.

Dazai grinned and began ruffling through her bag for the handouts. “Hey, if Chuuya answers the door, she won’t be in her school uniform.”

“Hm.” Kunikida stepped forward and knocked. Three times.

“I bet she has an awful fashion sense. She seems like the type, right?”

“Anything Nakahara-san chooses for her style will be an improvement to your bandages, Dazai-chan.”

“Tch. Rude.”

The door opened. The timer starts.

Standing there was a tall man wearing a lab coat and a gentle smile. “Hello. Can I help you?” He has glasses and graying hair. He’s keeping his hands in his pockets, one of which seems to be holding something. 6 seconds.

Kunikida must have picked up that Dazai wasn’t willing to talk, and took over. “Hello sir, is this the residence of Nakahara Chuuya-san?”

“Yes, I’m her father. She’s not well right now, so I’m afraid you can’t see her.” 18 seconds. From what Dazai could see there wasn’t any furniture other than a sofa, coffee table, and coat rack. Chuuya’s signature boots weren’t by the entrance.

“That’s… alright. We just came to deliver some of the notes and homework she’s missed. We’re classmates.” The blinds in the apartment were drawn, and there was something in the shadow that Dazai couldn’t make out clearly. 23 seconds.

Chuuya’s “father” accepted the offered papers swiftly without a second glance. “I’ll see that she gets these. Anything else?” 31 seconds. A glint of metal, that looked the shape of –

“Nope, that’s it! We’ll take our leave then. Please tell Chuuya we hope she feels better for us, sir” Dazai cut in. She nudged Kunikida’s foot Come on, time to go.

Kunikida gave a courteous bow. “Thank you for your time, Nakahara-san.”

At that, a strange smirk crossed over the man’s face, as if he heard the world’s most ironic joke. “Of course.” He made eye contact with Dazai for a moment and she really hoped she was giving him a polite smile because her eyes felt far too wide to be anything other than manic. Then the door slammed shut.

The entire encounter lasted 42 seconds, and Dazai already figured out more than she wanted to. “Chuuya wasn’t there. That man wasn’t her father” She tells Kunikida when they’re far enough away from the building. Her friend gave her a sharp look, but it wasn’t an "I don’t believe you". It helped the tightness in her throat clear a little.

“How do you figure?”

Dazai furrowed her brow, “That apartment isn’t lived in at all. None of Chuuya’s possessions were to be found. And…” She halted. Kunikida stopped beside her. “Inside I saw a glimpse of a rifle, a military-grade one. There was definitely an armed soldier hiding in the back, and likely the rest of their squad too.” Soldiers, a military base, a man in a lab coat, and a missing ability user. A terrible combination.

Kunikida muttered what was absolutely not a curse. “We need to find Nakahara quickly.” He says, not wasting a moment to pull out his phone to dial who she thinks is Ranpo.

Dazai nods, already feeling more confident. But Yokohama’s a big city, how are they supposed to find one tiny person like –

***

“Dazai. Dazaiiiiiiii! Are you- oh!” Chuuya rushed out about as quickly as she entered. Dazai had scrambled to throw her hands up to hide her uncovered eye. She exhaled heavily as she tried to suppress the irritation that flared up in her chest. That was terrible timing on her part, and she should have accounted for Chuuya being her spontaneous self.

“Seriously, Chibi? Didn’t anyone teach you to knock first?”

“Sorry. I didn’t expect you to be indecent.” Dazai isn’t naked, just bandage-less right now. Oh, Chuuya’s trying to be funny.

“Humor isn’t your thing Slug-chan. Hhh, tell me. Did you see it?” Dazai doesn’t know why she’s feeling so self-conscious. Her eye healed a long time ago, even if seeing out of it is still quite blurry, it looks perfectly fine. But in the year since the … injury … Dazai has only been able to bear looking at her own unobstructed reflection for only a few minutes at a time. The only other person who could be comparable was the Good Doctor himself.

There’s a silence behind the door. Then, Chuuya says, “I saw you, Dazai.”

Dazai doesn’t know how to respond to that, and it seems like Chuuya may have realized because there’s a hesitant turn of the door handle. Dazai puts her hand over the right side of her face for good measure.

The door creaks open and the redhead shuffles in. Literally shuffles, Dazai realized, those clothes were huge on her, practically swallowing her frame. The sleeves of the collared shirt she found were rolled up to her elbows and the black slacks she was wearing must have been cuffed 3(?) times. They must be Dr. Mori’s, a little voice in Dazai’s head supplied. She looks cute in them, an unhelpful one adds. She looked cuter covered in blood, to be honest, another, more unhelpful, eviler voice continued. Hold on, has Dazai ever seen Chuuya wear long pants before?

Whatever. It didn’t matter because obviously, Dazai laughed out loud at the sight. Maybe overcompensated even, she really needed this chance to tease Chuuya. Any chance she’ll get. For her part, Chuuya must have anticipated this reaction because she just huffs out in annoyance and drags herself closer. When her giggles died down, she realized that Chuuya had grabbed her hand and was looking directly into her eyes, and a self-satisfied grin settled on her face.

Ah, Dazai’s mouth felt dry again, so she lowers her head. Chuuya took that as a cue to start talking. “It’s only fair, Dazai. You got to see all of me, so I deserve some leverage on you too.”

Leverage? Oh… Dazai thinks she gets it. Chuuya’s at Dazai’s mercy right now. Dazai’s father owns this safe house, Dazai’s people are guarding the perimeter, and Dazai’s the one who can treat her injuries. Chuuya’s asking for some control over the situation. She’s asking for trust in return. Dazai can handle that.

She looks up, but Chuuya’s already turned her head away, cheeks a faint red. She detaches her hand but Dazai grabs it before it can retreat further.

“Hey.” Dazai brings Chuuya’s hand close to her face. Chuuya meets here eyes. She seems confused. “A while ago I got into an accident.”

“An accident?” If Chuuya doubts her, she wouldn’t show it.

“Yeah. It really messed up the right side of my face. It used to look really bad so I always bandaged it. It became a habit.”

Dazai hesitated on the next part. “And when I see myself without the patches, I get reminded how human I look.”

Chuuya’s gaze was unreadable now.

Shit. Don’t say more. Dazai found herself stuck explaining, “And it makes me a fraud because I’m not a human. Not inside. Not where it matters” Stop oversharing! She can feel her heartbeat going faster “Ahh ~ that part’s not really a big deal, though. How’s my face, Chuuya-kun? Is it cute?”

“What the hell are you saying, Dazai?” When she’s upset Chuuya’s voice goes down an octave from her usual high throaty pitch. It seems that’s the case here. Dazai stayed transfixed to the anger brewing in her eyes, and didn’t noticed that Chuuya’s hands landed themselves on either side of her face, cupping it gentler than her expression would have let on.

“Don’t you ever say that to my face again! You're not human? That’s complete bullshit.” Who taught Chuuya how to curse, anyway?

“Chuuya I-”

“Shut up. Don’t you understand, Dazai?” She really doesn’t understand. Chuuya’s expression melts into something Dazai can’t recognize. Her thumb strokes her right cheek and then Dazai is being pulled closer to the Earth. At some point her eyes close. Some muddled thought about trust floats around her head.

“You’re the most human person I’ll ever meet.”

Something soft and warm. Right under her eye. Dazai snaps back into awareness as Chuuya pulls away, red-faced, like a shrimp. A shrimpy color on a shrimpy person. Or the color of crab. Dazai loves crab. Dazai loves- Chuuya squirmed under her gaze. Oh, right. How much time did she just lose?

“You took me by surprise last Friday,” Chuuya confesses, looking away in embarrassment. “And then I got scared, because I felt so good in that one moment with you, and then I had to go back… Home.” She shuddered. “And I’ve been trying change, you know? Because I didn’t feel alive until I met you, and then suddenly I wanted to feel alive for you.”

Dazai didn’t know how to respond, so she wrapped her hand around the back of Chuuya’s neck, carefully over thick patch of gauze that protected her injury. Chuuya looked breathless. “And then last week, I realized that my freedom had run out, so I took a chance and escaped. And now we’re here. And it’s all your fault Dazai. I did it because of you.”

There’s something dark and stormy in Chuuya’s eyes.

“And that stupid goddamned kiss. It was fucking incredible .”

Dazai closed the distance between them again. And again. And again. And again and again and again and again and again andagainandagainandagainandagainandagainandagainandagainandagainandagainandagainandagainandagainandagainandagainandagainandagainandagainandagain –

***

So their night went peacefully after that. Dazai never ended up rewrapping her eye, just for the sake of savoring that adorable flustered look on Chuuya’s face. Cleaning the bathroom was a more irritating chore. Dazai had nudged the pile that was Chuuya’s blood-soaked uniform and a random set of green and yellow gardening gloves she somehow acquired. (“Hey you sure you didn’t go and murder anyone, Slug?” she had taunted. Chuuya ominously didn’t answer.) Dr Mori had kept a huge stock of spicy instant noodles in the pantry and the two of them held a contest to see who could handle the spice better. It ended in a tie because Dazai refused to admit she had a runny nose and tears in her eyes.

And now they were in bed, in each other's arms. Dazai hugged her… girlfriend? partner? … closer. Chuuya was so warm. Like a human furnace. Dazai could happily die right now. Until Chuuya spoke up.

“Dazai, why did you tell me I would look cute in a cage right before you kissed me. ” Death needs to arrive a little faster. Dazai is a little spent from the embarrassing and soulbearing conversations earlier.

“It. It was a dog joke Chuuya. Because you’re my doggy.”

“Likely story. You just want me to have no freedom under you instead.” Dazai pointedly didn’t wrap herself around Chuuya more, to prove her self restraint and respect for Chuuya’s autonomy.

“Please drop it. You don’t understand my prodigal mind.”

“Hmm. How about never?”

A comfortable silence settled over them again. Chuuya pushed herself deeper into Dazai’s hold. She was wearing a pair of oven mits that she found in the kitchen, and Dazai didn’t bother to ask why. What did matter was that this moment never ended.

“Dazai.” Chuuya started. “I’m…”

“Hm?” Dazai shifted her position so she could see Chuuya’s expression. It was horribly vulnerable.

“I… don’t think I’ll be sleeping tonight.”

The unspoken words rang clearly in Dazai’s mind. She smiled and ran her hand through the short red hair. There was a light shining in Chuuya’s eyes. If they were going to pull an all-nighter, then Dazai better start counting.

“Yeah. Me too, Chuuya”

***

Dazai woke up to the barrel of an assault rifle pressed to her temple and a tall man in a white lab coat holding Chuuya in his arms.

#i never actually written like. normally non-essay context b4 so sorry if it doesn't work well.#but here lemme ramble a second.#i skipped around a bit like where dazai actually finds chuuya. or this part where black lizard fights the military fight to let skk escape #i've always had this fixation with dazai timing things to the second. whether it be for plans or to help him analyze things quickly #or just a habit #i'm obssesed with flipping the script for these two in the au. chuuya get's to be 'ur literally peak human' to dazai this time #minor headcanon abt dz's right eye #I wanted to put a little effort into Kunikida and dazai's friendship here too! he's such a reliable bro. putting an emphasis on trust yknow #you can ask about the oven mitts but i can't really give you a response #no apologies for the ending :3 #anyways. escalate escalate escalate escalate #no more school! time for the Horrors #what's next on schoolkoku trauma hour?#dazai finally gets the bigger picture and then it becomes sends them to jail au.#fukuzawa and mori must team up to post bail.#and the return of Coach Frankenstein???#bsd #bungo stray dogs #dazai #chuuya #kunikida #mentioned: yosano ranpo mori and hirotsu.#skk #fem soukoku

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iamumbra195 · 13 days

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How different of a person would Ashlyn be if she had a sibling?

Would she have an older, more sociable sister who she bickered with constantly and was constantly dragged around by because her sister hoped she'd make at least one friend?

An older brother who followed in his parents' footsteps and joined the military, coming back every once in a while to show her cool things he learnt how to do?

A younger sister who tried to be just like her and learn ballet because it looked cool only to find it kinda boring and was much more interested in learning kickboxing or any of the self-defence their parents tried to teach Ashlyn?

A younger brother who was super invested in anything insect-related and liked to ramble about all the stuff he learnt to her or anyone that would listen?

How would she change as a character with an older sibling or a younger sibling?

#I was totally projecting with the older sister one #school bus graveyard #school bus graveyard webtoon #sbg #sbg (webtoon)#ashlyn banner #ashlyn sbg #siblings #sibling dynamics #I like the idea of her having a military older brother #who comes home from deployment to an empty house after everyone was kidnapped and no one was answering his calls #he tries to call the police #but then they tell him that his family along with five others were infected with a disease and quarantined elsewhere #they refuse to tell him anything else and he's just freaking out #oh #I think i just made an OC #lmaooo #didn't even realize

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high-voltage-rat · 2 months

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Actually I'm still thinking about it. Another interesting way in which RvB is anti-war is the way that the Director fills the role of a villain and antagonist (especially in the Recollections trilogy, where he's a faceless villain we never see but is responsible for everything that happens).

In his memos to the Chairman, the Director emphasizes his sense of duty and obligation to the military- he becomes irate for the first time when he feels that it's being implied that he was derelict in his duty... or that the work he did out of that duty is being criticized for being against the military's interests. He also talks about Allison's death in a way I find... interesting.

"You see; I never had the chance to serve in battle. Nor did fate provide me the opportunity to sacrifice myself for humanity as it did for so many others in the Great War. Someone extremely dear to me was lost very early in my life. My mind has always plagued me with the question: If the choice had been placed in my hands, could I have saved her? [...] But, given the events of these past few weeks, I feel confident that had I been given the chance, I would have made those sacrifices myself... Had I only the chance."

The idea of sacrifice is central to the way he talks about his wife's loss, to the way he talks about the war in general. He talks of sacrifice with a sense of veneration- that it's something he aspires to do, that he longs for. There's a few ways we can interpret "I would have made those sacrifices myself"...

-That in Allison's place, he thinks he would have laid down his life too.

-That if given the chance, he would have given his life to save hers.

But most interestingly...

-That he would have sacrificed Allison's life for the continued survival of humanity, if that was what duty called for.

...And personally, I think all 3 are true.

In most war media, the Director's perspective on sacrifice is very common. Sacrifice is glorious and heroic- to die in battle is an honour- and it's the only way to ensure the group you serve survives. This is a tool of propaganda- nobody wants to go to war just for the sake of it, you have to give them a reason that the risk of dying or being permanently disabled isn't just acceptable, but desirable. Beyond that, most people don't want to do things they think are immoral- you have to convince them it's important, a necessary lesser evil. You teach them to sacrifice their morals, too.

The way they train soldiers to follow orders and to kill, is to convince them that they, and the people around them, and the people they care about, will all die if they don't. It's drilled into your head from day one. It's the way they ensure their commanding officers won't shy away from sending their men off to die. The message is constant- sacrifice is your duty, and duty ensures your people's survival.

In the Director's eyes, the damage Project Freelancer caused was his sacrifice. He never got the opportunity to sacrifice himself during the war- so he sacrificed others, as military brass do. The Freelancers- including his daughter. The countless sim troopers. Any people he considered "collateral damage" on missions. And when the opportunity to do so presented itself, he sacrificed a copy of himself- Alpha- and he sacrificed a copy of Allison- Tex.

The very thing that derailed his life- the loss of his wife- he made it happen again. He put her copy in dangerous situations, let her exist in the position of constant repeated failure, created the circumstances that would eventually lead to her death. He put their daughter in deadly situations that nearly killed her repeatedly, provided her with impossible expectations leading to self-destructive behaviours in the name of duty, implanted her with two AI knowing they could cause her permanent harm. He was confident he "would have made those sacrifices himself" because he did.

The Director is the embodiment of the military war machine. As an antagonist, he is a warning against buying into the glorification of sacrifice. He's a condemnation of the idea that one should be willing to do anything to win a war- that duty to the military is the thing that ensures survival... All the messages that are pushed to ensure recruitment and obedience of soldiers.

He's a reminder that swallowing the propaganda leads to you doing terrible things... and in the end, you're a broken man left mourning the losses that you suffered even as you repeated them, convinced that it was all necessary.

#late nights with ali #ali watches rvb #not video games #rvb #red vs blue #leonard church #the director #director rvb #idk why I'm so fixated on thinking about the anti-war interpretation of rvb right now but I'm apparently going ham #it's just so fucking. wild to me. listening to the director's messages in S6 always has me thinking 'oh man this guy ate the propaganda up'#the OPPORTUNITY to sacrifice yourself??? homedog you sound like the kid in high school who brags he's joining the army as soon as he's 18 #to be clear: a lot of my thoughts on this stem from the fact that I come from a military family. I spend a lot of time with people who...#...bought in to the military propaganda and indoctrination. I see an amplified version of their perspectives reflected in the director.#to the military man sacrifice is the highest calling. sacrifice of your life. sacrifice of your morals. sacrifice of your wellbeing.#the things the director did were all in line with that fucked-up form of sacrifice.#and that they're portrayed for the evil they are is an important protest against the war machine's messaging.

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brookiidookiii · 4 months

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Brick is so mischaracterized it’s obnoxious. Anytime I see a headcanon where he’s forced against his will to go to military school it’s soooo,,. How can you say that. This man LOVES the army. He is obsessed with the military like a little boy is obsessed with joining the military. This man has a tank nightlight, he loves military shit. It is his proudest accomplishment. The first thing he does when he gets on the island is brag about his medals, and all he talks about in his biography is the military. His best memory from childhood is going to boot camp for fucks sake. He can like fashion AND the military lmao. Why chose one

#td brick #if brick was smart he wouldn’t waste his money on fashion school and would take online courses for much cheaper instead #but whatever live out your best life king #he’d bedazzle his uniform for war #anytime I see that fake backstory where brick was forced by his dad to join the military so he could man up or whatever I just UGHHH #plus it’s canon that his issues came from being teased a lot as a child #idk too many of the revenge boys are given sad backstories like bro enough #I can elaborate more on bricks mischaracterization #he’s too woobified by fandom. he’s also a bit of an asshole lmao

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shitty-fate-merch-daily · 6 months

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just discovered that my oldest friend is now engaged to her lame-ass military wannabe-cop boyfriend

#i know this is not a personal blog but i was filled with such despair #that i had to post somewhere #he is currently in the military and wants to be a cop after he finishes his service #not sure if that's better or worse than a cop who wants to be in the military #girl you have had a bad history with men since elementary school he is not different i promise u #not merch

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grishaverse-chaos · 1 year

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following up on my post from earlier, I'd like to remind all darkl!ng stans that Nikolai faced all the same problems as king (in the kos duology) that the darkl!ng did, as well as several other new problems (the demon, having to find a wife, etc) and committed ZERO mass murders. your fav could never

#grishaverse #mayhem.txt #mayhem grishaverse originals #more was done for grisha rights and Ravka's problems in the kos duology than darkles EVER DID let's be real #and yes i have receipts on this btw #nikolai changed the little palace from compulsory military service to a SCHOOL!!! and made it OPTIONAL!!! again: your fav could NEVER #everything nina adrik + leoni did in fjerda!! the darkl!ng could never!!!#negotiating peace with shu han and fjerda!!!#anyways i am and always will be an alina stan first and foremost BUT i am considering becoming a nikolai fanblog to piss off darkl!ng fans #because honestly. he did so much more in TWO YEARS than the darkl!ng did in two MILLENNIA #nikolai lantsov #anti darkling #it WAS possible to fix Ravka's problems without committing any mass murders. the darkl!ng just chose violence at every possible opportunity

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batsarebetterthanpeople · 1 year

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And another thing! Literally any queer story that takes place during the colonial age would have a huge gaping hole in it if it didn't have anticolonialism as a theme. Especially one that centers indigenous people. Like the reason that every culture had their own concepts of gender until something happened and then suddenly the gender binary was ubiquitous is because western European colonial powers made their view of gender the only acceptable one as part of christianizing and colonizing the world. You're not gonna have a show set in 1717 in the Caribbean where the love interest is a gay Maori man and the main deuteragonist is a non-binary mestizo catholic and just skip over colonialism. Like these are exactly the people who western gender roles are being forced on at fucking gun point during this era. Jim and Ed are both mixed race characters who's gender and sexual identities are in active defiance of the colonial powers that be. And this is the fucking Stede Ed and Jim show.

And there's something to be said for the fact that Stede's toxic masculinity plot line is internalized and Ed's struggle with toxic masculinity is largely external in the form a white guy who rubs elbows with the British Navy when Ed doesn't behave to his standard of masculinity. That choice didn't come out of nowhere and it shows a deep understanding of where homophobia comes from. That's not to say that precolonial communities of color were paradise for people that we today would consider queer but the rich tapestry of sexual and gender expressions that existed in those communities were erased in the name of colonialism. That's going to affect literally any queer person at the time when OFMD is set. These two things are inextricably linked.

Like when David Jenkins says a lot of what we're taught about being men is wrong, motherfucker who taught us what a man was. Who taught Ed what a man was? Who taught Stede what a man was for that matter? It's the white dad with the English accent who is violent (derogatory) and overbearing.

Like you get what I'm saying right? Like it's a silly little rom com but also it must necessarily be that deep because of who these characters are and when and where they exist.

#ofmd meta #Our Flag walks the line like a fucking tight rope acrobat and I'm not gonna let fake fans sleep on that #like they depict things aesthetically without actually depicting them sometimes #ill talk about the aesthetics of episode 9 all fucking day #in universe what happens is Ed signs a paper with an x either because hes illiterate or because he doesnt want to sign it #and is resting on the assumption that hes illiterate to get away with not signing it either as longform fuckery or to soften the blow #and he signs it to save his white boyfriend from getting fucking shot #and then he goes to a privateering academy where he does enjoy folding socks and he's liberated from his black beard and hes cool with that #everything is more or less his choice which makes it palatable and doesnt completely take the tone somewhere dark and harrowing #BUT ALSO what were seeing is the British Military forcing an indigenous man to sign a document and he does so with an x #and then taking him to a secondary fucking school ass school away from his community where hes forced to change his appearance #but also they let him keep his hair so that they dont step on that particular trauma #im vibrating what the fuck is this show #how do they do it?#Like seriously this has been a comedy show?????#And don't tell me I'm reading into it too much episode 2 primes us to think about colonialism

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autisticiyami · 1 year

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eepers. peppino has insomnia

#pizza tower #MY LAST POST BLEW UP IM ??? ok #hi guyysssss #peppino spaghetti #pizza tower peppino #pizza tower gustavo #pepstavo #pizza tower comic #peppino went to a military school for context #before actually having to start army training #hes been like this since his early 20s now. no sleep for italian man #my art

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richardcameron · 5 days

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neil perry + all these things i've done - the killers

#dpsedit #dead poets society #tuserkaren #tusersimone #neil perry #deadpoetssocietyedit #mine: gifs #just think of his father demanding him to go to military school and internally he refuses to be a solider and what that represents :))

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maeamian · 7 months

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When I was a young excited physics student I went down to my advisor and asked for a job in a lab. Those of you who are in the sciences may recognize this as exceedingly common, most schools with science departments will hire undergrads for their labs both to give the undergrads experience and to have someone comparatively cheap to do the least skilled labor in those labs.

For me, the lab I was sent to was one doing cool photonics projects and I was assigned to a guy who was doing the theoretical modeling for them and I got put on a side project for them to develop a method to double check their results using Monte Carlo simulations.

Put bluntly, I toiled away in the little cubicle they had me in for about half a year before I transferred to a different school without ever having produced anything of any particular value other than a Monte Carlo simulation whose temperature readings were not taking into account the existence of a heat sink and therefore got overwhelmed by thermal photons in a completely inaccurate and unhelpful way.

Ultimately, many tasks, farmed out like this in a speculative way to undergrads, fail, certainly it's not exceptional that mine did and I learned a lot about the process in the process, so it wasn't wasted time for me, but it produced absolutely nothing the lab could use to further its results.

This is where it turns from a little anecdote about my work history into a morality tale, because what I have thus far deliberately failed to tell you is that the lab I was assigned to is a provider of radar services to the US Military. Had I produced anything of any value whatsoever the work I did would have been used by the US military to help with its capacity to deliver bombs. This is, unfortunately, as those of you who are in the sciences may recognize, also exceedingly common. Luckily, and through no foresight or moral thinking of my own, simply the inexperience of youth, I produced nothing of value but view the path they tried to set me down as a grim warning of what might have been.

I'm not asking for forgiveness, the harm I might have done was not done by me, although I'm also sure was done without my help. They didn't need it to be me they just needed someone with basic calculus knowledge who wouldn't think too hard about the connection between the work and the world, and they were happy enough that particular warm body was me.

So this is my plea, if you're young and getting involved in the sciences because you're passionate about knowledge and understanding our place in the universe. When you go to get that job in that lab that's such a good stepping stone to the next thing you want to do, take a second and look into where that lab's funding is coming from. If it turns out it's the military, maybe then take another second and really deeply consider what kind of thing your work can be used to do and if you would like some of the most bloodthirsty people on the planet to be able to do that thing because of your help.

I got lucky that I didn't help, but I'm hoping that with this warning you might be able to not help on purpose which is a greater moral good than what I managed.

#IDK been thinking about this a lot recently for obvious reasons #I should've known better at the time too to be clear I was just blinded by excitement #If I'd stayed at that school and that lab and got to the level where I could contribute #They would have happily sent me to the Raytheon office down the street #Where I would've been well paid as my soul chipped away at itself #And I will never not resent the structure of the system that had that future in mind for me #I feel extra foolish for having nearly fallen for it considering my grandfather's history as a member of the Union of Concerned Scientists #Which is in part because he didn't talk much about that with us grandkids in large part because we weren't old enough early enough #There's a lot I wish he could've talked to me about now that I'm old enough to really understand it #But back to the point tell your advisor 'I'm not comfortable working in a military lab do you have any other options'#That's what I wish I'd said #Meanwhile my dad (the legend) claims to have cost the military millions of hours of productivity and credibly so

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