#he would Kill for one of barnaby's jokes | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

diorsluv · 4 months

Text

feather , part 20

“ you fit every stereotype ”

series m. list previous chapter next chapter

( socialmedia!au )

lhughes_06

liked by yourusername, edwards.73, mackie.samo, and 94,256 others

lhughes_06 u said don’t get too attached but ur attached to me 🤷‍♂️

view all comments

username22 IS THAT A HEAVEN SENT LYRIC??

→ username7 she said dont get too attached but she attaaaaached to me

yourusername you joke too much it’s not her fault if she can’t tell 🙄

→ lhughes_06 no i don’t 🙄

→ yourusername LITERALLY YES U DO

→ lhughes_06 OK THEN I’LL PROVE IT

→ yourusername FINE

→ lhughes_06 FINE

→ colecaufield couple fights

username46 he really crossed out her name thinkin we wouldn’t know exactly who he was texting 🤣

missseraphina omg stoppp i didn’t know u were gonna post me

→ lhughes_06 that’s mb

trevorzegras damn moosey ur a player

→ lhughes_06 nah

→ markestapa he only got one girl on his mind and it isn’t this one 💀💀

→ lhughes_06 fr markestapa

luca.fantilli don’t tell me hughesy got the girl before i did

→ lhughes_06 bro u were never gonna get the girl

→ mackie.samo his girl****

→ lhughes_06 yeah my girl****

→ luca.fantilli damn i could’ve sworn she wanted me more 🥱

→ yourusername don’t instigate luca 😑😑

→ lhughes_06 my girl yourusername

→ yourusername no moosey 🙄

→ username65 HIS GIRL?!?!?!?!

_quinnhughes don’t get too cocky now little buddy

→ lhughes_06 i’m taller than u.

→ _quinnhughes u got lucky

→ lhughes_06 IN MIDDLE SCHOOL MOM SAID I WAS TALLER THAN U WERE WHEN U WERE 12

→ jackhughes but mom also said she loves quinn the most so we know she lies to us sometimes

username37 which girl does luke even want

→ username24 lil drizz obv

→ username5 seraphina!

→ username98 trick question none

username22 ARE THEY TOGETHER OR NOT ITS KILLING ME

→ username37 i think luke and jamie’s sister are talking rn

→ username81 but i thought he was talking to that seraphina girl

dylanduke25 thought u and her were official after that third date

→ yourusername damn

→ edwards.73 DONT SAY THAT SHIT

→ adamfantilli DUKER 😭😭

→ lhughes_06 IT WASN’T A DATE

→ jackhughes DATE?????

→ trevorzegras DAMNNN MOOSEY

→ rutgermcgroarty DUKER WHY WOULD U SAY THAT

→ jamie.drysdale um what.

→ _quinnhughes i did not know about this HELLO???

→ _alexturcotte not one not two but THREE dates.

→ markestapa YOU TOLD ME YOU WERE JUST MESSING AROUND lhughes_06

→ lhughes_06 WE WERE ITS NOT SERIOUS

→ mackie.samo didnt think u were gonna treat a rebound like that fr

→ colecaufield wtf

→ luca.fantilli cmon luke u can do better than this

→ yourusername what do u have to say for urself lhughes_06

→ lhughes_06 she and i were just messing around, u know how i feel 🙏

→ username16 SHE KNOWS HOW HE FEELS???? WHATTTTTT

username57 luke is literally my quickest method of finding drama

yourusername

liked by mackie.samo, lhughes_06, trevorzegras, and 71,129 others

yourusername felt like a rich girl 🤍

view all comments

lhughes_06 no go ahead tell them who took those pics for you

→ yourusername mm but i don’t feel like it

→ edwards.73 it was me thanks for the creds 😍😘😋

→ lhughes_06 bro 💀

lhughes_06 and tell them who drove you there too while you’re at it

→ yourusername still don’t feel like it

→ _quinnhughes thanks for reminding me u owe me gas money

username24 MY GORGEOUS GIRLLL

→ username18 LUKE’S*** gorgeous girl

username67 barnaby’s fault for breaking up w this stunning woman frl

username22 dryshughes is back 💪

→ username2 war is overrrr

rutgermcgroarty mackie broke his phone but he wanted me to say U FINALLY POSTED URSELF

→ yourusername tell mackie he needs to stop obsessing over me

→ mackie.samo my phone got fixed and i would never obsess over my friend’s girl 🙄🙄

jackhughes he’s giggling

→ yourusername GIGGLING??

→ _quinnhughes kicking his feet and all

→ trevorzegras going feral

markestapa wtf did u to do luke and why did he come back all red and blushy

→ yourusername i didn’t do anything 😭

→ lhughes_06 she did everything

→ yourusername DON’T LIE

→ jamie.drysdale EVERYTHING? lhughes_06

→ lhughes_06 everything

→ yourusername NO TF I DIDNT

username23 they my mom and dad fr

→ username89 theyre not even together 😭

_alexturcotte so fancy

→ yourusername wore the dress u bought me just for this occasion 🥰

→ jamie.drysdale u spoil her too much 😒😒

→ _alexturcotte no i don’t 🙁 jamie.drysdale

→ jamie.drysdale she says she wishes u were her brother instead.

→ yourusername NO I NEVER SAID THAT (if turcs was my brother he wouldn’t spoil me as much)

username30 i’m in lovee ❤️❤️

edwards.73 okay lil drizz go get ur man

→ yourusername shut up

adamfantilli just caught him openly staring at your post

→ luca.fantilli yeah i think his jaw dropped when he saw she posted

→ yourusername mhm.. i’m sure he did

next chapter notes ) sooo dryshughes is back and better than ever (kind of) HOW ARE WE FEELING?? i missed my babies too much to strip them of such love butttttt they’re not getting together just yet 🤭🤭 also i feel like it wasn’t that clear but the first post was entirely just luke and seraphina pics.. and u may ask why? bc he messes around too much 🙄

tags: @aliaology @hockeyboysarehot @absolutelyhugh3s @jackquinnswife @freds-slut @love4ldr @blueeyedbesson @43hughes @v1olentdelights @dancerbailey3 @random-human02

#luke hughes fanfic #luke hughes fic #luke hughes x reader #luke hughes x y/n #luke hughes #quinn hughes #jack hughes #cole caufield #alex turcotte #trevor zegras #jamie drysdale #mark estapa #dylan duke #ethan edwards #mackie samoskevich #rutger mcgroarty #luca fantilli #adam fantilli

355 notes · View notes

jacenotjason · 6 months

Text

ALL 'SECRET' VIDEOS IN THE OPPOSITE AU!

These aren't offical for anything! These are fake scripts for 'secret' videos found on the WH site, but for my AU!

FRANK AND EDDIE

[The scene is a mess of crafts paper, glitter glue, and stickers.]

[The audio opens with a loud, sudden ear-piercing scream from Frank.]

FRANK: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!EDDIE: [throws the door open, huffing as though he ran there. His voice is uncharacteristically worried.] Frank!? What’s going on!? Why.. [his voice relaxes as he sees Frank, returning to montone. He sighs.] ..why are you on your crafts table? FRANK: That!! THAT!!! [Frank seems to be pointing at something.] EDDIE: … That? FRANK: YES YES!! GET IT AWAY!! EDDIE: ..the tiny little beetle right there? FRANK: MHM!! It flew into the window and tried to KILL ME!! EDDIE: … Alright, whatever- FRANK: NONONONONO!! EDDIE: What!? You said get rid of it! FRANK: DONT STEP ON IT!!

EDDIE: Well, what do you want me to do!? FRANK: just- get it out!!! EDDIE: mmh.. Alright, give me that. The construction paper. FRANK: give you what- wha- [Frank lifts his shoe as Eddie takes some paper he was standing on.]

EDDIE: [Eddie grunts as he crouches down, pushing the beetle onto the paper] C’mon, on the paper bud.. [Frank whines] EDDIE: [Eddie takes the beetle outside, flapping the paper] Go on.. Go go go… C’mon get off- [The buzzing sound of a beetle flying away] There it’s gone- huff! FRANK: [Frank jumps off the table and hugs Eddie suddenly, his squeaker making a little squee] You’re my herooo!! EDDIE: yeah, I- okay- sure, [Eddie clears his throat and pats Frank’s back.] You’re welcome.

FRANK: You saved my life! EDDIE: I just put a bug outside! They ain’t even that scary! FRANK: but-but those pinchers!! EDDIE: Its for grabbing things its size! Like– food! EDDIE: Ugh.. you’re not scared of them, are you Wally?

FRANK AND JULIE

FRANK: Well I think I'm plenty funny, Julie! Barnaby thinks I'm a hoot and a half!

JULIE: Only a hoot and a half? What happened to the other half? [Mean laugh]

FRANK: [frustrated hmph!]

JULIE: That’s not even an accomplishment. Barnaby wouldn’t know a good joke if it walked up to him, introduced itself, and slapped him in the face.

FRANK: [Said with a pout in his tone] yes he would! You know, Julie, you’re not the only funny one in this neighborhood!

JULIE: Oh yeah? You might be right, cloud head! Eddie’s a pretty funny guy too-

FRANK: Not Eddie! Me! I have a joke that will knock your boots off! I’ve been working on it all week!

JULIE: [‘tch’s] Oh good.. all week? It took you that long? [her voice is a little louder as she turns to Wally] You hearing this, creeper?

FRANK: I’ll tell you, listen to this one! [Clears throat] What did the number three say to the number two after beating him in a game of checkers?

JULIE: Oh my lord..

FRANK: I One!

JULIE: [Pretend grunt of pain] Oh my god! That was worse than listening to Howdy explain economics!!

FRANK: Oh it was not, Julie! It was a good joke! Don’t you get it? One is a number but it also sounds like won! You know, when you won a game!

JULIE: [Another gasp of anguish] Now he’s explaining it! Oh- When will the agony stop?! [the sound of Julie falling to her knees, the grass squishing beneath her] Feed me to my venus flytraps, I’m going into the light! Augh! [dramatic gasp as she flops onto her back]

FRANK: Oh Julie, you just don’t understand comedy that isn’t hurting others! It was a funny joke! Wasn’t it, Wally?

HOWDY AND BARNABY

[The scene is what appears to be Barnaby’s desk. Theres two books, a gramophone, and a delightful faint sound of old music] HOWDY: so.. you don’t charge anythin’ for your products!?

BARNABY: well.. they’re not products, Pillar, they’re just books! People return them, anyhow, why would I charge for something I’m going to get back?

HOWDY: [talking incredibly fast, spouting off his business nonsense] A quick fee! People come by all the time and check out books, 50 cents for each checkout! 50 cents for each book, someone comes by and checks out 3 books, boom, a dollar and a half for you and thats just one person! You can start a library card business, too! More like a subscription, free books! But they have to pay 10 bucks a month to keep the card!-

BARNABY: Pillar! [Barnaby cuts him off, but he continues]

HOWDY: [interrupting, continuing to spout] Would if a book gets damaged?

BARNABY: [gasping, as if Howdy talking fast exhausted him] Well, I-I don’t mind at all! I replace it on my own, sure it takes a bit to find and purchase to replace but-

HOWDY: [astonished, interrupting] It comes out of ya own pocket!?

BARNABY: well- yes! Accidents happen, Pillar, I wouldn’t charge for a simple mistake.

HOWDY: How much does a book cost to replace?

BARNABY: Well I dunno… aah, 40 dollars on average-

HOWDY: 40 whole dollars!? You’re killin’ me, Barn!

BARNABY: I’m sorry my business model is hurting you, Pillar, but that’s how I run things.

HOWDY: If I was in your place I would not run it this way.

BARNABY: You are in my place! [He chuckles, amused. He straightens himself and talks sweetly again] You run that charming bodega.

HOWDY: Well, yes, yes I do!

BARNABY: Quite well, might I add.

HOWDY: [still speaking in his astonished tone] Thank you!

BARNABY: You are welcome!

HOWDY: Yeah- I- what were we fightin’ about?

BARNABY: I don’t reckon we we’re fighting, Pillar.

HOWDY: I was sure we was! I was angry.

BARNABY: I wasn’t! I thought we were having a creative discussion about my business.

HOWDY AND JULIE

[The scene is a close up of Howdy’s products.]

[The bell above the door rings, and the sound of Julie’s heels can be heard as she walks inside.]

HOWDY: Julie! How are ya?

JULIE: Same as always. [Her heels continue as she approaches Howdy’s counter] I’m looking for something to make for dinner for me and Sally.

HOWDY: I was unaware she ate.

JULIE: You’re not funny.

HOWDY: Gotta make sure whatever it is is small enough to fit up her nose.

JULIE: [The sound of her heels walking away as she leaves to explore the aisles]

HOWDY: Oh come back! I got one more!

JULIE: [At a distance] Die!

[Some beats pass, Howdy taps on the counter lazily]

HOWDY: Okay, what are you looking for?

JULIE: Just something that smells good. I don’t want to force Sally to eat, I’m thinking about cooking it while shes on her computer, so she smells the food and comes to eat on her own accord-

HOWDY: So-

JULIE: Make a joke about her snorting it and I’ll tear your antenna off.

HOWDY: Damn, jeez…

JULIE: Hm.. [Julie speaks to herself as she takes items off the shelf] Ah, sweet, here we are.. I can make some fried rice.. Oo, Mackerel.. [She speaks to Howdy] Do you have any jarred Romesco?

HOWDY: Probably.

JULIE: Whatever, I’ll make it myself. [She grabs more items, followed by the sound of her heels walking to the counter]

HOWDY: Right, [beeping sounds as he rings her up] Total comes out to 176 dollars and 32 cents.

JULIE: [Groan] Here.

HOWDY: Thaank you.. Have a nice day.

JULIE: Uh huh. [Julie grabs her bags and leaves the store]

HOWDY: [Howdy hums and taps the counter.] ..Oh! Hey, didn’t see ya there. What do you need, Wally?

POPPY AND BARNABY

[The scene is a close up on a bookshelf, Wally’s hand is visible resting on the edge. The usual sound of delightful old music can be heard faintly]

POPPY: [Distant] Barn? Ya home?

BARNABY: Over here, dear!

POPPY: Ah, whatcha doing?

BARNABY: Oh, I was just in the middle of finding a book for him.

POPPY: Oh- didn’t seeya there. Well, I just thought I’d check on ya. Haven’t spoken to you in a good minute. [Poppy takes a seat. Barnaby joins her.]

BARNABY: I’m doing just fine. How are you?

POPPY: I’m good. Julie’s birthday is in a few weeks, I’m planning for that!

BARNABY: ..it’s not for another two months?

POPPY: Yeah, and Julie likes expensive wine.

BARNABY: Ahah!

[There’s a few beats of comfortable silence.]

POPPY: …You sure you doin’ okay?

BARNABY: Hm? Yes? Why do you ask?

POPPY: I’m just worried about you, that’s all. Y’know me.

BARNABY: I do.

[The comfortable silence melts away, a bit of tension filling the air.]

POPPY: Let’s talk about something else.

BARNABY: Let’s!

POPPY: Whatcha readin’ lately?

BARNABY: Lots of historical fiction, mostly.

POPPY: Ooh!

BARNABY: Are you reading anything?

POPPY: Aah.. eeeh…

BARNABY: Haha.. It’s alright. I know it’s not for everyone.

POPPY: Haha. I’m glad to see you’re doin’ alright, Barn.

BARNABY: Thanks for being concerned about me, Partridge.

POPPY: Of course. [Poppy stands.] Never be afraid to call me, Barn.

BARNABY: See you..

[A few bits of silence. Eventually, Barnaby takes in a breath]

BARNABY: Always nice when she visits! How are you doing Darling?

POPPY AND JULIE

[The scene is a table with a cake. The cake has “HAPPY BIRTHDAY JULIE” in pink icing, as well as a glass of wine.]

JULIE: I’m so happy you’re letting me throw my birthday at your place again, Ma!

POPPY: Of course! Why wouldn’t I?

JULIE: Ahaha! Ma, you’re delightful. Seriously, what did we do to deserve such a delightful neighborhood mother?

POPPY: Ya don’t need to do anythin’! I’d do this for anyone. Anyway, let’s talk snacks!

JULIE: Let’s! [Julie is incredibly cheerfully and sing-songy]

POPPY: What ya thinkin?

JULIE: Ooh! [The sound of crumpling paper as she takes something out of her pocket] When I took that quick trip out to the cave, I managed to grab some of my moms old tapas recipes! [She hands the paper to Poppy] It would make me so happy if you could-

POPPY: recreate them?

JULIE: Yes!

POPPY: I’d be delighted! These sound delicious, too! Your mama made these?

JULIE: Mhm! My mom loved cooking, she cooked every chance she got! Any of our birthdays, the-day-after-your-birthday day, the-week-after-your-birthday day, its-a-celebrites-birthday day, fuck-it-I-just-wanna-cook-for-my-kids day.. Any reason!

POPPY: Sounds like she meant a lot to ya.

JULIE: Ah, she did.. She was so sweet. You would’ve loved her, Ma!

POPPY: If it ain’t a sore subject, can I ask how she passed?

JULIE: Natural causes.. She died peacefully in her sleep, and doing what she loved! She made us a delicious feast before she did.. My siblings and I have this joke.. We say she was supposed to die the night before, but asked the angels to give her just one more day to give her kids one last meal.

POPPY: That’s so sweet, Julie.

JULIE: [A small hum as she smiles]

POPPY: I’ll do my best to recreate your moms recpies.. And I’d be happy if you helped me!

JULIE: Oh- Ma! I’d love to!

POPPY: Sounds like a plan. Oh, hey, you wanna help too, Wally?

JULIE AND SALLY

[The scene the outside of Sally’s house. A close up on the chipped purple paint, and a window just barely in view at the top. All the voices are slightly distant]

JULIE: hup- hup!!

SALLY: Huh..?

JULIE: Hey! [Strained] Sorry! I wanted to surprise you, but it is hard to break into your house! Ugh! [A thump is heard as Julie falls inside]

SALLY: [Sally giggles] Are you okay?

JULIE: Perfect. [Julie stands up and poofs her skirt] Okay!

SALLY: What’s in the bag..?

JULIE: It’s a surprise! [She says sing-songy]

[There’s a few beats of tension, Sally’s breath tightening]

JULIE: [Julie rushes to speak again] ..It’s just some ingredients! I wanted to make you some dinner.

SALLY: Oh! …Can I see?

JULIE: Yeah! [Theres some heel clicks as she walks over to Sally, opening her bag and showing her the ingredients]

SALLY: What’s this..?

JULIE: Oh! That’s for me. It’s a Trinidad moruga pepper.

SALLY: What’s this…?

JULIE: Mackerel. You like fish, yeah?

SALLY: I.. think so.

JULIE: How about I cook up a quick sample right now and you can try it?

SALLY: Oh, okay.

JULIE: Mhm! I’m sure you’ll love it.

SALLY: Hehe..

JULIE: Alright, let me go see if you’re oven still works and- Hey!! [Julie’s heels are heard as she approaches the window and looks outside] Get out of here creeper!!

SALLY: wh-whose there!?

JULIE: Don’t worry! It’s just Wally!

BARNABY AND SALLY

[The scene is a wooden floor.]

[Barnaby can be heard singing.]

BARNABY: Heartaches.. ~ Heartaches..~

BARNABY: My loving you, they're only heartaches~

BARNABY: Your kiss was such a - oh! [He’s interrupted by the phone ringing. He answers.] Good evening. Barns books!

SALLY: ..Hello..?

BARNABY: Hello? [Barnaby is just as confused] Whose this?

SALLY: M..mm…my girlfriend gave me your number..

BARNBAY: [An sound of realization and relief] Hello. You must be Starlet.

SALLY: ..yes..

BARNABY: It’s nice to meet you. My name is Barnaby. Julie has told me a lot about you! What do you need?

SALLY: I just.. I was… I think I’m sick.

BARNABY: Oh! What are your symptoms? [Barnaby pushes some things around his desk, finding a notepad. He clicks a pen.]

SALLY: I just uhm.. M..my heart is beating really fast.

BARNABY: Mhm.. [Barnaby writes it down]

SALLY: and.. I feel really warm..

BARNABY: Mhm.. [He writes it down]

SALLY: and I.. I.. Don’t want to sleep.. Or eat.. Anything..

BARNABY: … [Barnaby stops writing] ..I apologize if this is invasive, but Julie informed me you are an addict.

SALLY: Oh..

BARNABY: Are you currently under the influence?

SALLY: ..why?

BARNABY: You just described very common symptoms of cocaine abuse.

SALLY: …

BARNABY: ..? Hello?

SALLY: Sorry.

BARNABY: No need to- oh. [Sally hangs up on him] Ah.. Well, she hung up.. I hope she calls back. [He hums in worry] Anywho.. Sorry for that.. Do you need anything, Darling?

EDDIE AND JULIE

[The scene almost looks like a spa. There is nail polish, makeup brushes, an ash tray, and bottle of wine.]

EDDIE: So, then he tells me that the money isn’t enough!

JULIE: [gasps in offense] It’s all you had!

EDDIE: It’s all I had, exactly!

JULIE: What did he want

EDDIE: You’re never gonna believe this.

JULIE: Mm?

EDDIE: He tells me.. He can sell my left arm.

JULIE: No!

EDDIE: Yes!!

JULIE: What the fuck!

EDDIE: Yeah!

JULIE: That’s when you jumped on him?

EDDIE: That’s when I jumped on him, yeah.

JULIE: Mm, absolutely deserved.

EDDIE: Mhhhm..

JULIE: Want more wine?

EDDIE: Yesss..

[The wine bottle is taken out of sight]

JULIE: Here you aree..

EDDIE: Mm.. Thanks for inviting me to your girls night.. Even though-

JULIE: Girls night is for anyone, babe. Besides, I wanted to hear the story of you making Howdy your bitch again.

EDDIE: [A shocked laugh, the sound of him playfully hitting Julie] Jules!

JULIE: Ah! Haha! You ass I almost spilt my wine!!

EDDIE: Hah! [Eddie snort-laughs]

[They laugh together for awhile, before calming down]

JULIE: so… Why’d you bring him with you?

EDDIE: Huh? Him? Oh.. Frank couldn’t make it and he seemed like a nice substitute.

JULIE: Awwh.. Why couldn’t Frank make it?

[A pink cigarette comes into view and is flicked into the ashtray]

EDDIE: Some sorta lesson with Barn.. I don’t know.. Can I get a cig?

JULIE: Hm? You smoke Rose Butts?

EDDIE: I know, I know, it’s a [Eddie puts on a mocking tone] “Girl Cigeratte”..

JULIE: No, no, you do you, but I’m more surprised you smoke. Here..

EDDIE: God, in this neighborhood? Who doesn’t?

JULIE: Frank.

EDDIE: I- well- that’s fair

JULIE: Wally.

EDDIE: Okay. So the two innocent guys don’t smoke.

JULIE: Barnaby doesn’t smoke.

EDDIE: Okay, shut up.

[Julie giggles, Eddie chuckles with him]

EDDIE: Mm.. Anyways, you wanna do his makeup or something?

JULIE: Ooh! Yeah! Wanna get your makeup done, Wally?

FRANK AND HOWDY

[The scene is Howdy’s store, once again. This time its a view of an apple display.]

[The sound of Frank humming the tune of ‘There Was An Old Woman Who Lived In A Shoe’]

FRANK: Howdy..

HOWDY: What is it, Nuvola?

FRANK: Do you think Eddie has feelings for mee..?

HOWDY: Hun, I don’t think Eddie has feelings.

FRANK: But- like- do you think he.. Like likes me?

HOWDY: He certainly cares about you more others. [Howdy walks away and begins shelving as he talks to Frank]

FRANK: I mean like.. Like.. if you think I asked him to hang out.. Like hang-out hang-out! He’d.. say yes?

HOWDY: Why are you asking me? Not only have I not been on a date in 12 years, [he sets something on the shelf] but Eddie also despises me, almost as much as I despise him.

FRANK: I know! But you know him super well and you spend a lot of time together! I figured he must’ve told you how he feels about me!

HOWDY: We spend a lot of time together, yeah, but we’re not being all buddy-buddy. He spends time in my store because he’s either blacked out drunk, or in the process of getting blacked out drunk. [He sets another item on the shelf] Or threatening me.

FRANK: Hmm.. [Frank pouts]

HOWDY: Eugh.. Listen, if you wanna know if Eddie likes you, why don’t you just march down to that Pot Office and ask!

FRANK: Because I’m nervousss!! [Frank whines]

HOWDY: You ain’t gonna know unless you ask! Just go down to that damn office, grab Eddie by his ugly face and say, ‘Hey! I like you! You wanna go on a date sometime?’ if he says no, move on! You probably doged a bullet! If he says yes, good for you!

FRANK: But I’m nervous!! [Frank reiterated, his voice cracking]

HOWDY: Then stay nervous! If you ask, you’ll know! If you don’t, you’ll be in a perpetual state of non-closure.

FRANK: [Frank whines again]

HOWDY: Just go! Go ask him!

FRANK: But would if- Hey!

HOWDY: [Howdy pushes him out] Go go! Just go ask him, stop bothering me!

FRANK: Okay okay! I’m going!

HOWDY: Good!

FRANK: Aah! [Frank runs out of the bodega and seemingly towards the Post Office]

HOWDY: Eugh.. Finally!! Damn cloud.. How do you deal with em, Wally?

EDDIE AND SALLY

[The scene is the gravel path, seemingly in front of Sally’s house]

[The sound of Eddie’s military-grade boots approaching]

EDDIE: Hm? Oh, hey bud.. ‘Scuse me..

[The sound of the mailslot opening]

EDDIE: Sally?

[Theres some shuffling inside of her house before Sally appears]

SALLY: hey.

EDDIE: There ya are.. Here, got this for you. Oh- [the sound of a paper bag being snatched]

SALLY: Thanks.

EDDIE: I uh.. I put a sandwich in there for ya.

SALLY: Oh-!

EDDIE: I know you like your noodles.. Thought it would be nice to have.. With the noodles, yknow?

SALLY: Thanks.

EDDIE: Course.. Uh.. Take of yourself, Sally..

SALLY: wait, wait,

EDDIE: hm?

SALLY: You.. Take care of yourself too!

EDDIE: Hah.. yeah, I will.

SALLY: I mean it! You always tell me to take care of yourself but I know you don’t.

EDDIE: …Yeah but I don’t care about me.

SALLY: I care about you.

EDDIE: ..yeah.

SALLY: Okay, you eat a sandwich today.

EDDIE: I will.

SALLY: and I’ll eat mine.

EDDIE: Okay.

SALLY: Okay.. Bye.

[The mailslot closes]

EDDIE: Seeya..

[Beats of silence, some sounds of Eddie kicking the dirt.]

EDDIE: Poor girl, right? [He says, speaking to someone else] ..Do you regularly sit outside her house, Wally?

POPPY AND SALLY

[The scene is some grass, Wally’s hand can be visible laying in it]

POPPY: Saallyy.. Sally? [Poppy’s voice approaches, a small squawk as she almost steps on Wally] Sorry, dear, didn’t see ya. Sally! Ya home?

SALLY: Hello..? [Sallys voice is distant and muffled]

POPPY: Hello!

SALLY: ..[Her voice is closer as she approaches the window. It’s still slightly muffled, as though shes behind a curtain] Whose that?

POPPY: I’m Poppy! You can call me Ma, sweetie. Julie tell ya about me?

SALLY: ..yeah, she has.. What do you want?

POPPY: I was comin’ to invite you to a party-

SALLY: No.

POPPY: Wha? I just figured it’d be nice! Get ya out of the house, meet new people-

SALLY: No thanks.

POPPY: You sure? You just wanna stay inside all day?

SALLY: All my life, actually.

POPPY: Ah.. I.. uhm.. Well. We’re gonna have snacks!

SALLY: Cool..

POPPY: Nachos and chips, and I’m gonna cook dinner for everyone and.. Eh..

SALLY: …Can you bring me some?

POPPY: Wha?

SALLY: I have.. A window in the back, that doesn’t have any glass or a screen or anything.. Can you bring me some food to that?

POPPY: Sure! I’d be down!

SALLY: Thanks… Ma..?

POPPY: Thas the spirit! Sorry I tried to make ya come outside.

SALLY: It’s okay.

POPPY: Well, I’ll see- eh.. Well.. I’ll talk to ya later!

SALLY: Bye. [There’s shuffling inside as Sally leaves]

POPPY: What a sweet girl. You know her, Walls?

POPPY AND EDDIE

[The scene is the floor of the post office. Letters are scattered about, along with pens, pencils, highlighters, and two vodka bottles]

POPPY: Eddie? [Poppy’s voice is overlaid with her claws against the floor] You here?

EDDIE: mmgnnm…

POPPY: Ah, there you are.. What ya doin’ under the table..?

EDDIE: Headache.. [he hiccups]

POPPY: ..so you got under the table

EDDIE: Yup..

POPPY: C’mere dear..

EDDIE: Nooo…

[Some struggle as Poppy attempts to help Eddie to his feet. Eddie sits on the table he was sitting under]

POPPY: You alright?

EDDIE: I’m.. peachy…

POPPY: You need’a throw up?

EDDIE: …no…

POPPY: Alright.. Well.. [Poppy sighs] Let’s see if I can get ya to bed. C’mere..

EDDIE: Nooo..

[Poppy helps Eddie away, theres some struggle and shuffling and Eddie complaining, but they make it eventually. There’s a small ‘pomf’ as Eddie lands on his couch]

POPPY: [her voice distant] There you are hun.. [her voice returns with her claws hitting the floor] Well.. I got em to bed.. Let’s just hope he stays there.. Let’s see if I can get this place cleaned up. Ya mind helpin, Wally?

BARNABY

BARNABY: Ah, then I told Pillar he needed to apologize to poor Dear! But he just went on and on about how he was the one that deserved an apology!

HOME: [Sounds of banging can be heard, sort of like agreeing]

BARNABY: I know! I told him that I couldn’t stay with him- i-in the room, I mean, unless he went and said he was sorry!

HOME: [Shutters creak]

BARNABY: Augh, I know, it’s such a heavy ask.. With how much they’re at each others throats! I don’t even understand what could’ve possibly caused such hatred!

HOME: [Lets out an inquisitive door squeak]

BARNABY: I agree. I think I need to sit down with them both and see what on Earth happened- eh

HOME: [Opens and closes its door judgmentally, cutting Barnaby off]

BARNABY: Wha- What do you mean it’s a bad idea?! I’ll keep them off each other, and-and I’ll make sure Dear leaves his pocket blade outside the library. And-

HOME: [Windows open and shut, a bit like laughter]

BARNABY: Wha!? Oh c’mon! Eddie can survive without his knife for one day! And PIllar won’t be allowed to bring that darned shotgun into the library either! He never has been! I’ve never allowed weapons or-or anything of the sort into the library! In fact, he knows all about it! Don’t you?

…Hello? Little one? Pal?

…Hey, y-you stopped painting..

…Everything alright, Darling?

#welcome home #welcome home au #welcome home opposite au #howdy pillar #eddie dear #frank frankly #julie joyful #sally starlet #barnaby b beagle #poppy partridge #wally darling #script #scripts #welcome home puppet show #welcome home arg

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luis-block · 11 months

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What the welcome home neighbors do during a 'Color Day'!

This is inspired by the Hindu festival of Holi but interpreted as not religious for the cast. But the meanings of welcoming spring and the color returning to the neighborhood still are in the theme! Everyone takes the day off and play with the color powders!

Warnings: None!

Wally Darling

Will be one to get the least color powder on themselves, as he has the sneak attach down to a T.

His hair is also immaculate somehow? No one is quite sure how, but they don’t question it.

Loves to see his friends having so much fun! It makes the curse of his self-awareness easier to deal with.

Barnaby b Beagle

Unlike Wally, has the most color powder on him than anyone else. But he is living for it!

Has the most fun chasing everyone and miss-matching the color powder with everyone’s color scheme to the colors are more prominent.

This is one of his favorite days of the year! Loves to joke about everyone getting to dress up as rainbows.

Eddie Dear

He is very casual with his color powder throwing, but don’t take it the wrong way, he always has so much fun!

Will still do his mail route, everyone waits until he’s done delivering the mail to nail him with color powder, so the mail doesn’t get messed up.

Tries to get frank out for it more, mostly succeeds at his goal.

Frank Frankly

Tries to hide in the house for most of it. He doesn’t mean to be a buzz kill, but he doesn’t want to get his clothes dirty!

Won’t come out until Eddie comes to grab him and insist it will be fun!

Once he gets out of the house, he will have fun! Just needs some encouragement to come out of his shell.

Julie Joyful

Is arguably having the most fun out of everyone! (Besides Sally)

Her hair has so much color powder in it, it really does look like a rainbow! (Thus Barnaby’s rainbow jokes)

Will have a color war with Sally, the winner is still undetermined. But both parties agree it was still fun!

Howdy Pillar

Will take the day off to be able to talk to everyone without being behind a counter at the shop.

Has the craziest aim with all four arms and can do it in all different directions, so be aware when challenging him to a duel.

Overall is so happy to talk to everyone hand have some fun!

Poppy Partridge

Is the one who gets to make the color powder every year, and also uses the day to talk to everyone and check up on everyone.

Everyone knows how tricky it would be for her to get the color out of her feathers, so they aim for her umbrella instead!

Makes sure everyone gets their share of color powder, will sit in the middle of town in the ‘Safe zone’ and hand out more powder while checking up on everyone.

Sally Starlet

Will run all day surprising people, (mostly Julie and Barnaby).

Will make lots of games surrounding the day so everyone can participate!

Her war with Julie may still be ongoing, but she still has so much fun with the color powder it more than makes up for the tie!

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man-down-in-hatchet-town · 6 months

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Karma Police

IT'S THE MID-SEASON FINALE BEFORE THE HIATUS! As always, spoilers for The Case of the Greater Gatsby episode 14 under the cut!

So, after the information onslaught that was the previous two episodes, "Karma Police" was a little bit of a breather—at least up until the end. Just lots of cannibalism jokes and character moments as both Ford and Fig start to show the strain of the case in their own ways (Ford’s increasingly surfacing anger, Fig’s anxiety and fainting spell). Which means that you guys get a relatively shorter essay after the absolute monster I posted earlier.

To start with, Fig’s line about the stress of working multiple jobs and how they keep you from keeping up with life events? Too real. Really, Fig’s whole unraveling physical and mental state throughout the entirety of this episode was the perfect encapsulation of my experiences over the last couple of months.

Meanwhile, either TD is way smarter and more conniving than we’re giving him credit for (possible; after all we have yet to receive confirmation of his admittedly convincing alibi) or he is innocent. His issues with blood certainly don’t remove him from the suspect list, but if he had known that Fitzgerald didn’t bleed a drop he probably wouldn’t have passed out thinking about it. But then that brings us back to the question of Mo and just who he’s reporting to. If Mo was on the lot telling Mel about Fitzgerald’s death, wouldn’t her husband/assistant know the details? Or did she kick him out? Regardless, I continue to be fascinated by the Hammermeister marriage. I have so many questions I don’t think I actually want the answers to; you know those two have either never taken so much as a sock off in front of each other or else are the kinkiest bastards you could ever possibly meet.

On the Ford side of things, what fun to get Dylan again so soon! But Shipwrecked better not think I didn’t clock Donald not telling Ford where he was on the night of the party. I’m pretty confidant that Donald did not commit the murder—on a meta level he’d just be a strange choice—but his obfuscation and successful derailing of Ford is suspicious, though that might not have even been intentional. After all, he didn’t know that Vivian was about to show up.

Speaking of Vivian, the PHIGHTINGALE OF IT ALL! Ford’s anger at her lies feels deeper and more personal—you can just taste how strongly he resents their inescapable attraction and connection. And Vivian continues to walk all over him. Her story makes good enough sense, I guess, but I’m still not sure she’s telling the truth, as it’s a little too early in the story to conclusively point the finger at Barnaby. Though I suppose he could have shown up without actually being the murderer…. Meanwhile, after a whole episode of being grilled over his use of the word “grill,” Ford learns that Vivian uses it too, and judging by her tone has met many of the same reactions as her favorite employee. I love everything about their toxic, magnetic, inescapable dynamic. It’s noir perfection. Or, as @its-short-for-jackalope put it, “I think Ford & Vivian are actually soulmates 😂.”

Which sucks for Ford, because Viv’s pulled a fast-one over on Bixby! Whatever his other designs with Mel or Fitzgerald’s murder are, this plot against Bixby seems to a major card up Mo’s sleeve. But while I can see why taking over Bixby’s would benefit Mo, but what does Vivian get out of it? Higher pay? Let’s not forget that Mo made up her alibi on the spot for the night that Fitzgerald was killed. Was he protecting her as part of his takeover? Or is blackmailing her with knowledge of the night Fitzgerald died as part of his coup? I have so many questions about these two and why Vivian’s chosen to tango with this cop in particular.

And a moment of applause for Matthew Mercer’s evil laugh at the end of the episode! What a way to go out. Matt is absolutely incredible in everything he does and Greater Gatsby is no exception. I’m so happy that MK’s brought him into the fold.

Well, that’s it for the time being! I hope Fig and Ford come back soon (have they announced how long the hiatus will be?) but in the meantime I will be re-listening and you can bet your ass I will blog any new revelations that come to mind.

This is man-down-in-hatchet-town, reporting from Tinsel Town, signing off (from these responses, not from the blog).

#shipwrecked comedy #the case of the greater gatsby #fig and ford #ford phillips #fig wineshine #vivian nightingale #bixby crane #mo beats #td hammermeister

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ultimateswagger · 11 months

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(this is OLD, just ignore it bbg)

so i figure if everyone else is making a welcome home au I might as well

This au is called the Porcelain Doll Au or PD

I absolutely suck at drawing so I’m going to describe it and you can use your imagination to do the illustrations

In this AU, all of the puppets are now porcelain dolls being possessed by the spirit of the unfortunate children that decided to come across home

Also, the dolls can move but their bodies are very stiff and heavy, so it’s extremely tiring to move

Home is still possessed in this au and is basically a ghost house (a land ghost ship) that lures people, mostly children, inside to get killed. I would like to mention that all of the furniture inside is alive and it basically looks like a torture dungeon, there’s so many sharp objects and ways to kill someone in there it’s wild. Anyways, home basically lured them inside, shuts the door and locks it so they don’t come out, and they have 60 seconds to pick how they want to die or home picks for them, and you can tell who has picked their death and who hasn’t. Anywho, now onto the victims

Wally was the first victim, ofc he was Mexican and had a very colorful outfit on, and dark black hair that everyone said looked blue, he died by getting his eyes pierced (that’s why he stares, sometimes his eyes on the doll leak), he also died in the living room, the room that you see as soon as you walk in. He was 5 years old when he died. Wally stumbled across house after wandering off with his friends, eventually loosing them and coming across home trying to find them again. Wally was the first one to find out they they could move, because of how badly he wanted to draw. He usually scoots over to corners that haven’t been dusted (which is every corner) and makes lines with the dust on the floor/wall.

Julie was the second victim and also Wally’s friend, she had long blonde hair and a white dress on, she encountered home when was picking flowers and so she died holding flowers, and she died by being stabbed in her heart so her dress is a bright red and there’s a crack In her chest (her doll has a flower in her hair) She chose her death, trying to do the least painful thing possible. She was 6 1/2 when she died. Sometimes, in the middle of the night she remembers that she never got to give the flowers to her mother, and begins to cry. Water drips down from the painted glass eyes and the soft sound of weeping echoes through the halls. Home uses her weeping to an advantage however, he mimics the sound and lures people in with the weeping. She died in the upstairs bedroom. Also an unimportant detail but she has very mesmerizing blue eyes.

Sally was the third victim, she is a Hawaiian with short blonde hair, wearing an overall skirt and a white t-shirt, she died by having her head set on fire, so she has the sun for a head and her Temperature is always warm. She died in the bathroom In the tub, trying to put out the fire, but she had one dilemma, home didn’t have any plumbing. Although she is a doll now, she likes to sing songs from various musicals in the middle of the night. Because of that, Sally has a voice draw string that she can only talk out of when it’s pulled. I forgot to add this, but she was 7 when she died.

Barnaby was the fourth victim, he’s a Mexican (quite like wally) and wore a blue polkadot t-shirt and the same pattern pantsc he was a little chubby and was walking his dog when he found home, his dog began barking and ran towards home, to which he followed. He found his dog strangled in the downstairs bathroom before he died. he died by getting his head cut off, and so his head is always loose and sometimes falls off. He died in the downstairs bedroom. He chose his fate and figured that decapitation would be the quickest and least painful. He still likes to tell jokes, and sometimes thinks of a really funny joke and begins to burst out laughing in the middle of the night. He was 7 when he died.

Poppy was the fifth victim, she is Caucasian and lived on a farm, she ran into the woods to avenge her chickens that were eaten by a fox, she wore a rainbow dress and had rainbow highlights in her hair, she died by getting skinned, and so the paint slowly chips away on her doll. She died on the balcony, so closed to freedom but just a little to late. She was 8 1/2 when she died. She usually comforts the other kids when they feel homesick of they’re just starting to get used to their new bodies. She is the most responsible next to Frank and is like a mother to all of the other children. She sometimes dusts the walls and floors, making sure to keep at least one corner for Wally!

Howdy was the Sixth victim, he helped his father work at his job and was taking a hike in the woods on his break, he had black hair and had a love for caterpillars. He died by getting his ribs torn out, making it look like he had multiple arms, and so his other set of arms are a little off than the other. He was 8 when he died, and he died in the kitchen trying to grab a knife to protect himself. He is mature and organizes the torture devices when he’s bored. His arms sometimes fall off, and have to be put back on by home, when home feels like it of course. Other times he is found talking about how much he misses his dad and the shop he helped out at. He tried to refrain from talking about his dad, to try and not get homesick. He once tried to break everyone’s dolls to set their souls free, but failed and was punished by having his arms off for a week. After that, he didn’t try and free himself again. Sometimes however he tries to climb on top of tall objects, but always gets put down by home.

Frank was the Seventh victim, always a grumpy and never did anything fun, he wore a black suit and had full black hair, he was always bullied and was dared to go inside of home, despite all of his instincts he went inside. He died by getting his hands cut off and surgically replaced by bleeding out, and so the hands on his doll are more detailed and slightly discolored, they are also always loose and slightly damp. He is the oldest, he was 9 when he died. One time Frank tried to burn down the home, to release him and his friends from this hell (their spirits can only be freed if the dolls are destroyed) but when he lit the house aflame, and closed his eyes to embrace death, he realized the humidity from the flame awww was gone, he opened his eyes to find the fire gone, And although everyone else excepted their fate, Frank still tries to break his and Eddie’s doll to free their souls he always fails and whenever he does home punished him by locking him in the room he died in for a day. Frank and Eddie were best friends, and eventually more, that didn’t last long however, for Frank died on the same day him and Eddie had their first kiss. Frank tried to be clever and tell home that he wanted to die of old age, but instead Home chose for him. Frank also died in the library upstairs, I’d like to mention how Frank and home are enemies, if home could he would banish Frank to relive his death everyday, alas that isn’t possible. A little thing I’d like to add is that Franks doll is coated with pollen and nectar during the spring and so all throughout spring/summer butterflies doesn’t completely cover him but a whole lot of butterflies like to land on him daily

Eddie was the eighth and final victim, he was a mamas boy and always listened to his parents, but after his family dog ran away his mother was devistated, trying to cheer up his mourning mother he ventured off into the woods. He was Caucasian and had bright red hair with freckles and a gap between his teeth, he died by getting his legs cut off and died of shock. His legs are always falling off and severely cracked. He was 8 1/2 when he died and died an exact week after Frank did. He did try and chose his death, but home couldn’t understand him through his stuttering and sobbing and so home chose for him. He died in the hallway trying to crawl to freedom despite the unbearable pain he felt. Eddie didn’t want to be a mail man, but he did help out in the post office to gain money to give to his mother.

However, after Eddie died the deaths seemed to come to a sudden stop, at the same time tho, Wally seemed to start acting a little different..bad different.

That’s all folks, if u got any questions feel free to ask, I’m happy to answer them ^^

#welcome home #welcome home au #wh au #eddie dear #frank frankly #wally darling #howdy pillar #sally starlet #sally starlight #julie joyful #poppy partridge #barnaby b beagle #angst prompt

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misterier · 2 years

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some quick hcs for dating Barnaby bc there's literally 0 x reader content out here for t&b </3

reader is gn or male as Barnaby is considered to at least swing in the same direction in this, so fem alighted dni

—

- earlier into dating, he's quite unsure about your relationship, he has constant battles with himself because he has a hard time telling the difference between platonic and romantic feelings

- probably a pubic relationship, wither you guys want it or not

- I hc he really likes strawberries so that's probably what his apartment smells like, aside from really harsh mint

- he always makes his own food and doesn't let you make him anything because he's a really picky eater and doesn't want to hurt you feelings

- really good at reading your facial expressions and can almost always tell when somethings wrong

- he sings to you sometimes when your going to bed, like when you guys are cuddling, he'll sing in the softest voice he can muster

- he's really cautious with his s/o because he's afraid of ruining what they have

- every night is home date night because he never has the time to go out

- if your a hero like him he feels both relief and fear, it's good you can understand the troubles he goes through and the two of you can easily bond over things and help eachother heal but at the same time he's sacred that he's going to lose you by some criminal and he's going to be completely oblivious to it just like his parents

- probably takes strolls on the park in the fall and spring because he likes the smells

- has a love-hate relationship with his birthday, and prefers it small if anything gets planned at all, he doesn't do candles though but will settle for sparklers

- can read you like an open book the longer your with him

- probably gets caught staring at you

- ( if your a hero) he literally swoons if you let him make the arrest

- if your not a hero, you probably get in loads of trouble one would be surprised your not

- if you ever metion your favorite flower, it's suddenly added to his collection

- you have a favorite smell?? he's got you three different oils that smell exactly like that

- if he doesn't out right tell the heros you guys are together, Nathan is quick to realize and tell everyone, ( probably makess joke about sense Barnaby swings that way the reader should watch themselves and keep him close )

- probably tried baking for you once and almost burnt down the apartment. never again.

- he's probably tried to jokingly take credit for making food when he got it at some random shop down the road

- he's touch starved when he's tired, but any other time he doesn't like to be touched at all with out permission and privacy

- he never wears contacts because the last time he did he almost fell asleep, he took them off and looked up what's happens if you do and got traumatized

- not many arguments at all, if you do argue it's because one of you guys put yourself in danger/ almost got killed for some dumb reason

- probably gets burnt out allot with work and needs constant reassurance even if he won't admit it

- before he was a hero you probably had to constantly give him a reason to live, weather it be a plant to take care of or going to Samanthas to look at pictures of his parents, so he won't completely shut down

- he hates candles

- drags you into his 60+ step skin care routine he got from Nathan and Karina

- he was in a dark place for a while so now he trys to keep his days either busy or distracting so he doesn't get lost in his own thoughts

- confides in you often about his feelings and expects you to do the same

- he won't vent to a s/o who won't vent back, as he feels it's unfair

- he doesn't understand jealously and never feels it when your hit on because he trusts you, if you get jealous he'll explain to you that if he trusts you, you should trust him

- he's the exact opposite of claustrophobic and prefers small rooms rather than big open rooms, it makes him more comfortable

- he keeps his apartment freezing but keeps tons of blankets on his bed just so he has to snuggle with them at night

- he smiles allot more around you.

#tiger and bunny x reader #barnaby brooks jr x male reader #barnaby brooks jr x gn reader #headcanons #how tf do you tag this

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hogwarts9 · 2 years

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Aladdin the musical

Act 1, Scene 2

"go...go.." Chiara signals carweyn to run starting the next scene as Finn Jafar and eliaza iago enter backstage.

" GET BACK HERE WORTHLESS STREET RAT!" Merula playing as guard one with ben and Barnaby as guard 2 and 3.

" THAT'S MISTER WORTHLESS STREET RAT TO YOU," Carweyn Aladdin said before jumping over ben who slides under her

" THAT BOY HAS BEEN STEALING MY APPLES...he is a public menace," Andre said being shopkeeper 1.

Carweyn Aladdin pops from a window high above the stage and merula in another window as ben and Barnaby are on stage

" come guys let's not do anything drastic alright.... you will not kill a guy for stealing a measly piece of fruit now would ya?" she asked and the trio draws their swords. " I see that they do...take it back I don't want it anyway" she tosses the apple to ben who catches it.

" HEY, HE IS GETTING AWAY!" Ben yelled as he and Barnaby vanish backstage.

Chiara comes to Andre as shopkeeper 2 holding a basket of bread " They should lock him in the wild dungeon and throw away the key."

" Somebody stop him!" Andre said as the curtain lifts revealing the streets of agraban and the dancers along with a few of the team get to positions and freeze as carweyn appeared on stage and starts singing.

Gotta keep One jump ahead of the breadline One swing ahead of the sword I steal only what I can't afford (That's Everything!)

she jumps on a cart pulled by Bill.

One jump ahead of the lawmen That's all, and that's no joke These guys don't appreciate I'm broke

she steals a bread from chiara

Riffraff! Street rat! Scoundrel! Take that!

she gets kicked down by merula and holds her bread up like begging.

Just a little snack, guys

she jumps and doges the trio sword and signing and goes to badeea , penny and tonks who changes her feature to a brunette

Rip him open, take it back, guys can take a hint, gotta face the facts I could use a friend or two, true!

the three girls dance and sing as carweyn aladdin hids behind Aishwarya who is dancing on a tiny stage . Oh it's sad Aladdin has hit the bottom He's become a one-man rise in crime

I'd blame parents except he hasn't got 'em

tulip sang this from the window

Gotta eat to live gotta steal to eat Tell you all about it when I got the time!

All the people head to the tiny stage trying to catch her but she slid out and grabs a feather from the basket the people are distracted and go behind a building set as merula founds her.

One jump ahead of the slowpokes One skip ahead of my doom Next time gonna use a nom de plume One jump ahead of the hitmen One hit ahead of the flock I think I'll take a stroll around the block (HEY!)

the people sing

Stop, thief! Vandal! Outrage! Scandal!

ben and Barnaby hold her in the air bring her back and placed her on the ground

Let's not be too hasty

the dancer 4 sang as Aishwarya puts a basket on merula head as the word "wrong" is sang!

Still, I think he's rather tasty Gotta eat to live, gotta steal to eat Otherwise, we'd get along Wrong!

One jump ahead of the hoofbeats (Vandal!) One hop ahead of the hump (Street rat!) One trick ahead of disaster (Scoundrel!) They're quick, but I'm much faster (Take that!)

Carweyn goes backstage and hids as Deigo comes in her place and does a huge jump with wires on him as everyone followed him to the other side backstage. Here goes, I better throw my hand in Wish me happy landin' All I gotta do is jump!

Carwyen appeared behind a set and the audience cheered.

youtube

she looks around carefully and nearly bumped into Paula. " Oh sorry," she said " or second thought maybe I am not..." she said as Paula left to see a basket offered to her by Chiara. as she said no, carwyen Aladdin offered her an apple.

" Hungry?" she asked

" You stole that didn't you?" Paula said

" With the way the sultan tax his people we have no choice to steal....The name is Aladdin"

" and do you always give your food away Aladdin?"

" only to the less fortunate or else the more beautiful.....or else to the guards who call me..."

" STREETRAT!" Merula said and both crawyen Aladdin and paula tried to run

" look he has a friend," ben said before pushing Paula to the ground as she held her shawl.

" how could u all treat him like that he is a person like you and me." she said

" look at her talking like she is the princess ." ben said and everyone but aladdin laughed and paula relieved herself.

" I AM THE PRINCESS OF AGRABAH!" She said and everyone bowed including carwyen who bowed immeadilty " and I demand u set thus poor pesant free"

" a hundred apologies your majesty " merula said " we were just following the law and its ur father who makes the law"

" it's alright princess...I understand " carwyen Aladdin said before bowing again

" U do nothing to him till I speak to my father" Paula jasmine said before going to carwyen aladdin " I promise no harm will come to you" She said as they look at each other as she leaves.

" your in my way..." She said as merula moves aside " a thousand apologies...your majesty" She said as Paula goes backstage and the villagers laugh before merula tells them to leave and the curtain for scence 3 falls and Ben and Baranby holds carwyen tight and holds her hand out. And merula was about to Chop it but then finn stop them disguise as a peddler.

" Oh thank god u found him his mother is worried sick...." finn said " U boy better be grateful I am helping you...I am the boy's father."

" He is the boy's father" carwyen aladdin said before finn giving the guards money and they left. " say why did you help me?"

" Well my boy one good deed deserves another."

" I had a feeling." She said

@carewyncromwell @theguythatdraws @annabelle-tanaka-official

@immagrosscandy

#Youtube #hphm musical #carwyn #finn mcgarry #eliaza #aishwarya mehra #merula snyde #paula

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unlimitedhorsepower · 1 year

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It's funny that in Blue Golden Ryan has to be the responsible one in some ways bc of his seniority and uh, just in general his wealth of life experience in comparison to Karina

Not only has he traveled across the world and done great many things, all Karina has to show for her teenage years is... a crush on Kotetsu which is kinda sad to me because it's not like she even has time to get to know herself. She's working all the time!! That's why she'd get a teenager crush on some geriatric guy from work, bc she also has to hide her hero stuff from her peers do it's not like they can get to know her too well

Ryan would joke abt something that's obvious to him that you did already when you were like 16 tops, eg.sneaking out to go to a party to meet your gf there and pretending you like the taste of beer and Karina's like what's wrong with you?..

Guy abt to be hit with a realization Karina hasn't ever had a partner so obviously that's crossed out and she hasn't ever been to a single house party so that's crossed out too plus she listens to her parents and they kinda support her despite not being perfect. It is devastating when your experiences aren't universal. He is gonna bring this up to Barnaby for peer support and he's actually literally almost the exact same as Karina and now constrained by his fame like she is

Anyway it's just funny like some canon buddy hero pairs can more rely on each other but Blue Golden is one of those where it's kinda impossible as canon is now (even if they made it a point in 1st cour that it shouldn't be like this).

Like how could Ryan ever talk to Karina abt what happened to him with Gregory Sunshine like ugh... Karina hasn't ever been to a simple house party how could she even begin to understand that he could've killed himself with his own powers and collapsed at least one whole building and definitely at least injured several civilians.

He can be there for her and he understand the gist of her struggles bc he's had similar or he can extrapolate. But Karina can't really understand his cringefails (the narrative gives her no tools for this). There is for example a line to be drawn to Maverick using his power on all heroes to make then fight Kotetsu, not really the same but if Karina was given More, it could be a part of it.

However all Blue Golden got was teasing me they'd be more important than they were despite Karina arguably being one of the protagonists since the start with more focus on her but all she got was a rehash of old shit and minor character development forced to center around Kotetsu, again, with the added inclusion of Ryan to steal more of her character time. Plus all Blue Golden buddy duo development was explicitly undone in cour2 it was fucking wild.

Entire point was that Ryan was like yeah I'm trying to protect you too much when you can handle shit by yourself, only for him explicitly refraining from breaking the hero moratorium to protect Karina, iirc Robert explicitly hangs Karina's fate over his head in that one scene.

I genuinely think Blue Golden is the only buddy hero duo who got their duo episode entirely fucking undone in cour2?.. It's ofc unfair to Ryan that what seemed to be point of him returning (Gregory Sunshine and the incident) goes without serious acknowledgment but what it does it that to give Ryan something, he gets reshuffled into taking up Karina's screentime and narrative and ends up stealing her moments just by existing

Incredibly unfair to Karina! I also still can't believe Blue Golden didn't win King of Buddy heroes to finally give Karina the credit she deserves...

They could've shown Blue Golden to be Something but nothing they were given really shows anything meaningful and wholly new about them. They got a bunch of screentime that essentially meant Nothing bc neither's character arcs got anywhere in a meaningful way.

Yeah Karina got over her crush or w/e but you have to be shitting me if you think it's an arc she deserves with how much interesting stuff could actually be said about her and her position as an overachiever who is horribly treated by the hero industry especially bc she's an idol too and not only a hero. Nothing about why she still does this, what she thinks about it, how it deeply affects her. Ryan helps her to go to her friends concert and it's presented without much fanfare and kind of solely occurs to show that Ryan is a decent insightful dude lol when the real intrigue lies in Karina not being able to usually do that sort of thing and the music career she dreams of in a way that's totally different from the idol Blue Rose...

Meanwhile Ryan got over his cringe fail issues in their buddy hero ep but its pretty distinctly related to Gregory Sunshine and his personality driving him into a corner of him literally not having cities left to turn to. It makes him seem younger and childish bc he's paired with Karina and the issue isn't touched upon but to me it's more of the stupidity of a guy who's abt to experience a premature mid-life crisis bc heroism is his only career and due to the Gregory incident and his flippancy/short-sightedness like straightup leaving Sternbild in the Rising (why lol.he didn't have to) is gonna cause him to be out of a job, which is touched on in the manga...

There's something to be said about their careers and the hero industry and how Ryan started in heroism only bc he got scouted and I imagine Karina was scouted to be an idol too in the sense that someone suggested it. Not like any of that matters though all they got was some flippant quips and funny moments and stuff and all serious moments are so mistaken on what should be the gist of their characters...

Ryan should've been used almost as a narrative device to show how much there is to Karina bc she deserves that and his character could've still received development and retained meaning. But no, tnb2 said fuck you.

Blue Golden neither of them rly meant Anything. Like their characters just kinda lost all prior purpose they had for some surface-level attention on them. I'm malding every day

#blue golden #tnb #forcing everyone to look at this etc #gabriels ramblings

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shinyrockalaska · 3 years

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Hogwarts Mystery characters as quotes from Percy Jackson and the Olympians

The quotes are either a description or something they would say/think

MC: “We only came close to dying six or seven times, which I thought was pretty good.”

Rowan: “Evil is easy to fight. Lack of wisdom… that is very hard indeed.”

Ben: “Where's the glory in repeating what others have done?”

Penny: “A kind act can sometimes be as powerful as a sword.”

Bill: “Exquisitely painful isn't it? Not being sure who you love and who loves you? Oh, you kids! It's so cute I'm going to cry!”

Tonks: “Knowing too much of your future is never a good thing.”

Tulip: “I was pretty sure if I tried to sing, all I would cause was an avalanche.”

Barnaby: “Nothing like watching your relatives fight, I always say.”

Andre: “Seriously, who has monogrammed pajamas?”

Charlie: “Ever come home and found your room messed up? Like some helpful person (hi, Mom) has tried to "clean" it, and suddenly you can't find anything? And even if nothing is missing, you get that creepy feeling like somebody's been looking through your private stuff and dusting everything with lemon furniture polish?”

Liz: “I will not have a sea creature destroyed, if I can help it. And I can help it.”

Jae: “If you have never been hit by a flying burrito, count yourself lucky. In terms of deadly projectiles, it's right up there with grenades and cannonballs.”

Badeea: “You might as well ask an artist to explain his art, or ask a poet to explain his poem. It defeats the purpose. The meaning is only clear through the search.”

Diego: "He had a crush on a blueberry bush once."

Merula: “With great power... comes great need to take a nap. Wake me up later.”

Ismelda: “I gave her my deluxe I'll-Kill-You-Later stare.”

Talbott: “It's hard to enjoy practical jokes when your whole life feels like one.”

Chiara: “Suspecting and knowing are not the same.”

Beatrice: “Am I a troubled kid? Yeah, you could say that.”

Jacob: “Don't feel bad, I'm usually about to die.”

Skye: “Deadlines just aren't real to me until I'm staring one in the face.”

Murphy: “My mother says looking is the nature of wisdom.”

Orion: “Remake the wild, a little at a time, each in your own corner of the world. You cannot wait for anyone else, to do that for you.”

Face paint kid: “Go on with what your heart tells you, or you will lose all.”

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judediangelo75 · 3 years

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Unpopular Opinion: A Selfish MC

Honestly, mainly my mutuals read my posts and I appreciate the likes and occasional reblog so here’s another unpopular opinion.

There’s a lot I can say here. So here it is:

MC should be more selfish.

Because really think about it here.

They came into this school with almost everyone expecting the worse of them because of their brother.

They’ve been targeted by a girl who looked like she felt threatened by us when they came here trying to mind our business.

Been breaking curses from the age of 12, even though the adults were telling us not to (and what have they been doing to stop these curses?).

They found the opportunity to find missing their brother and made it our goal to find him. FOR YEARS.

In the midst of this quest, we were still trying to enjoy the life of a student. Make friends, play Gobstones, go out for a Butterbeer, maybe date someone, learn magic...

They deal with their friend’s issues. Not saying this is completely bad. But again think about it: MC helps other people deal with their issues, but who really asks them about how they feel about EVERYTHING they’re going through. I’ll wait.

While I can’t really recall from the previous years, the one person who did was Bill before he graduated from Hogwarts in our fifth year. When MC was trying to cheer him up about graduating.

When he asked them about how they’re feeling, MC quickly deflected the issue.

Mind you, I can relate to this in real life. My feelings, thoughts and emotions would be on the back burner while I help others. And if our MC was able to truly project EMOTION, if s/he was force to confront how they really feel, it might be extreme. So they deflect the issue.

Especially after what happened in 5th year. Even AFTER what happened in the vault, our MC is still worrying about others and they are just rejecting us to our face as if we’re not already hurt.

Again think about it:

We’re rejected by Merula after all that’s happened, so for those who thought we’ll finally be friends with her, JC said “Sike, you thought.” Then goes on to say that she doesn’t need us.

“I told you I don’t need you, L/N...”

“And I still don’t.”

Ben, whose on a manhunt for Sickleworth, makes a comment implying that we’re obsessed with finding our brother.

MC: Why does my brother-- I mean the Niffler--keep disappearing on us?

Ben: And you think I’m the one obsessed, Y/N?

I’m not gonna lie, I was hot for a good second. For crying out loud, he LEFT us. All of them saw him leave.

Depending on what year your MC was born, they would’ve been 8 or 9 when he disappeared. By the time you find him, they would be 15 or 16. THAT’S SEVEN WHOLE YEARS!

SEVEN YEARS THAT THEY WILL NEVER GET BACK. ALMOST 5 OF WHICH THEY SPENT TRYING TO FIND HIM! All of that for him to LEAVE???

When the whole reason why they dealt with the Curse Vaults was to find him!

Bro, in my eyes, MC is justified to feel this way. I don’t see it as an obsession, I see it was genuine hurt.

They were legit abandoned just after a short reunion. With no way to contact him until later in 6th year.

Depending on if you have a headcanon for your character in the game. Like their family dynamic, personality, attitudes and such: this may hurt WAY WORSE.

For example, my MC lost her dad just weeks after her brother disappeared. She has no real relationship with her mother, who favors her brother over her. Her and her brother were close when he was around. After her father died, she promised over his grave that she’ll find out what happened to him and hopefully bring him home. Then this shit happens.

She would’ve been heartbroken. To hear Ben say that would’ve pissed her off for a few seconds before trying to cool down.

Then 6th year rolls around and our MC is dealing with everyone’s BS and not their one.

Don’t get me started on Merula returning to her old ways and how Ben took on a new identity (personally, I don’t like new Ben. That’s the type of attitude that will cause you to misstep and get your ass seriously injured or killed), Penny and Beatrice’s sibling feud AND ANOTHER CURSE.

Again if I were to write my character how I want to, she would’ve cared way less. Even those with a ton of patience, lose it.

I mean honestly how much shit does our character how to experience before they rightfully explode?

Like seriously. I’ve seen a scene where we have to duel our brother and then he leaves us (again). And Merula says this:

“You can’t seem to hold onto anyone anymore, can you, L/N?

GET. THE. FUCK. OUT OF HERE!

Yo, you can not tell me any different: That was fucked up to say. EXTREMELY FUCKED UP!

And she’s laughing as if this was joke. This is far from funny.

And yet our MC is still trying to reach out to her. WHY

Like at this point, let everyone do whatever they want. Let them fix their issues. Let them deal with their own problems how they choose to.

I much rather hang out with Rowan, Tonks, Barnaby, Andre (worse headache he could give me is my outfit choices), Charlie, Jae, Badeea (let me spend more time with this art queen, c’mon!), Liz, Diego (I’ll take his flirtations ANY DAY), Talbott (Let me spend more time with my husband), Chiara (my Healer sister for life) Fred, George and Cedric (Let me spend time with the cinnamon roll!).

Like every other unproblematic character in the game currently. I’ll even take Professor Snape and his sarcasm (that I grew to love).

My headcanon is that Judith would hide out in the Dark Forest in the Creature Forest or go to the Centaur Camp to get away from the unnecessary stressors at Hogwarts.

I don’t care if it looks like MC is “abandoning Hogwarts” when a curse is out on the loose.

MC didn’t really ask to be a Curse Breaker (if you decided that’s not a career they would take).

MC didn’t ask to be the protector of Hogwarts since they were 12 years old.

They aren’t getting any real thanks for anything that they do.

They can’t be a normal student. Even if they wanted to, everyone would probably be like “Why would you want to give up what you’re doing?”

I honestly wish we could be more selfish. I will never forget the outburst Rowan had in 5th year when they said we only call them or hang out with them when MC needs something.

THEY WEREN’T WRONG! We don’t hang out with our friends just to hang out. It’s always MC needs something or we’re helping a friend in the storyline. We don’t just chill to have fun like a normal student.

Which is bloody sad.

And MC has been told how they really haven’t been taking care of themselves.

For example, Hagrid in Year 4:

“If yeh say so, but I wish yeh’d take care of yerself as much as yeh take care o’ everyone else...”

Or even Dumbledore:

“I am concerned that you are neglecting your own well-being and needs.”

Like it’s literally right there, folks. Right. There.

Exposed. In only two lines.

I know Jam City will never let MC be selfish, even it was for a few chapters. But I wish they did.

This is why we create fandoms and our own headcanons.

Anyways, thank you for coming to my TED Talk.

#hphm #hphm rant #hphm mc #hphm jacobs sibling #jacob's sibling #jacob's sister #jacob's brother #rant post #mc deserves better #they're allowed to be selfish #even if it's just a little #i said what i said #with my whole chest #and i meant what i said #probably unpopular #unpopular thoughts #unpopular opinion

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ramblings-of-a-mad-cat · 3 years

Note

[5/5] I don’t know Barnaby as well, but someone on discord said he asked MC to be patient with Merula, understands her and good with nuances with people. Bill is a more seasoned wizard wary of all sorts of magical shenanigans that could have gone down at the “confession” – and even if it was real, I feel he understands that the upbringing makes the “villain” in one’s eyes, like with his warning about Griphook and goblin culture in book 7.

Barnaby is one of the most patient people in the entire cast. This is why I wish the game would play up his more sensitive side, as well as his unconventional maturity. The jokes about him being dopey are charming and funny, but I’d really prefer it if they gave him more than just that, especially in chapters and quests where he plays more of a lead role. He would actually, I think, be someone who could potentially get through to Merula. She would never expect this at all, but he’d know precisely what to say, he’d reference memories from third year that she probably hasn’t thought about in ages. In the end I don’t see it working, but it would for sure rattle her in the very least.

Bill is someone for whom I think Merula’s betrayal would be far more personal than we might think. That it would hit him harder than we know. Hell, I think Rowan’s death hit him harder than we know. He looked up to Rakepick, and he was already broken by that betrayal. Rowan was crazy about Bill, and I think he kinda knew that. Rakepick killed Rowan. That would have messed Bill up for sure, even if he didn’t show it. But then Merula’s betrayal...seriously, the game doesn’t dwell on this...but 90% of Year 5 was just Bill, Merula, and MC all hanging out and investigating. Bill clearly projected big brother energy onto MC and I see no way that he wouldn’t have done the same for Merula, even if she never gave anything in return.

As far as the betrayal not being real...look, sure. It could have been polyjuice, it could have been the Imperius Curse or human transfiguration. Maybe Mundungus was in on it. Maybe Merula is playing a long game and her true loyalty still lies with The Circle. All of this is possible, I don’t deny it. The trouble is, Bill didn’t see the incident. He’s only going to hear about it secondhand from MC. Which limits his ability to speculate. I wouldn’t be surprised if he wanted to believe the best of Merula, but how can he know?

#Barnaby Lee #Bill Weasley #Merula Snyde #the curse breaker who shall not be named #HPHM Headcanons

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jacenotjason · 6 months

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Sooooooo tw for ending of a life :(

If someone were to kill themselves in the bully au because of Howdy,Barnaby,or whoever.would anyone care?I know you said that they lack sympathy,but I wanna know if they would feel even a little bit bad that their the reason why someone ended their life.Srry if your uncomfortable with the question,you don't have to reply if it makes you feel a certain way!

Don’t even apologize, I was hoping someone would ask this!!

I am going to put a TW for suicide and a very disrespectful look at it.

Okay, they do regularly tell people to commit. That’s like a huge, they write it on desks, scratch it into the insides of locker, tell people online and irl, etc. it’s not something they really care about. I imagine Frank is just casual about it. Someone asks him to delete a photo as hes cleaning his lens and hes just like “mm.. have you considered wipe killing yourself?” Then he shrugs, Eddie nods in agreement.

Anyways, they would be a little shaken up if someone actually took their life…for like a day. For probably about 18 hours after they hear the news they talk very quietly, asking each other if they feel sad. (“I feel like I should be sadder.” “Yeah, me too.”)

Then, one of them makes a joke about it, and their back to normal. Maybe they say “thats fucked up!” While laughing and hitting each other. They treat it so disrespectfully and shit, everyone else in the school is offended on the deceased students behalf.

Home is also fucked up. A student died, but he can’t do anything to those responsible. In fact, he’d probably defend them. Howdy and Barnaby are both legal adults and could be arrested, but Home would defend them so they can continue to stay by Wally’s side. It would destroy his reputation no doubt, defending the kids that caused a suicide, but he doesn’t have choice.

#dark ask woop #tw sui #welcome home #welcome home au #welcome home bully au #howdy pillar #eddie dear #frank frankly #julie joyful #sally starlet #barnaby b beagle #home #poppy partridge #Wally darling

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snowdice · 4 years

Text

Road Trips and Missing Persons (Part 11)

Fandom: Sanders Sides

Relationships: Patton & Virgil, Virgil & Deceit, Logan & Patton, Emile & Remy, Roman & Remus & Janus

Characters: Patton, Virgil, Deceit, Remus, Roman, Logan, Emile, Remy

Summary: Patton was just getting groceries. The next thing he knew, there was a knife at his throat and he was an unwilling uber driver. Virgil’s on the run after the murder of his dad, and it’s not just his paranoia that’s telling him he’s being chased down. He has to get somewhere safe, somewhere he can trust, and all he has is a couple of stories from his dad and a name: “Green Bellow Foods and Dispensary.”

Notes: Secret Agents AU, knives, carjacking, kidnapping, murder mentioned, guns mentioned, pepper spray, blood mentioned, drugs mentioned, explosions (more to be added)

This is a fic I’ve been writing on study breaks that you have probably all already seen at this point. I’ve affectionately named it the Goblin Brain Fic because it’s helping my brain actually get motivated for studying. I’ve slightly edited it for wording and grammar, but not for content from my previous posts. Feel free to send in asks to direct it because I’m not 100% sure where this is going and you can help decide if you feel so inclined! You can see the process I went through to build this at this link.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 My Master Post

Virgil smiled awkwardly at the cashier when he entered the gas station and went straight to the coffee machine. He went ahead and grabbed the largest size cup for Patton because they were going to be on the road for a while.

He… didn’t quite understand why the man was still going to be driving for Virgil when there was no knife involved, but hopefully it wasn’t a trick.

It was probably a trick.

He should probably tell the cashier he’d been kidnapped.

But then the cashier would definitely call the cops and, knowing his mother, Virgil would definitely be screwed. So, instead, Virgil put the lid on Patton’s now filled coffee cup and found that there was one plain donut with chocolate frosting still in the case. He grabbed that and then searched around the candy aisle for a bit. He finally settled on a pack of Red Vines and grabbed a blue raspberry slushie. If he was going to get axe murdered by some guy that kept a stuffed bear named Barnaby in his car, he was going to do so with a blue tongue.

He handed over the 20-dollar bill to the cashier and then gathered up the snacks and drinks to take them to the car.

He caught Patton with his phone in his hands while he was pumping gas. “Hey, what are you doing?” Virgil asked.

“Just sending a text to my brother so he doesn’t worry too much,” Patton replied quickly. Virgil gave him a suspicious look. When it became clear that Virgil wasn’t going to willingly take a step closer to the car after that, Patton sighed and held out his phone. “You can see,” he said.

Virgil set the drinks and snacks down on the hood of the car and took the phone. The phone indeed was open to just a string of emojis sent to someone called “Lo-Lo” in Patton’s phone. The string of emojis read “🛒🧀🧀🧀💵🚙👶🏻🔪🥺🚙🍔🍟🍦📞🤐📻😭😴😱👣🤳🧸⛽️🗺☕️😎👍 ❤️”

“There is… no way he’d understand that,” Virgil said. “I barely understand it and I lived it.” He paused. “I am not a baby.”

Patton snatched the phone back. “I didn’t say you were.”

“You typed ‘knife baby’ in emoji!” Virgil said.

“Baby with a knife actually,” Patton said unrepentant. He grabbed his coffee and donut off the hood of the car and opened the driver’s door to put the drink in the cup holder and the donut on the seat. Then, he went to finish up pumping the gas.

Virgil frowned, but he did pick up his snack and drink and got into the passenger seat. He’d already thrown his lots in with the possible serial killer anyway.

Patton finished pumping the gas and got back into the car.

“Don’t sit on your…” he sat on his donut.

“Oops!” he said. He sat up and grabbed the donut to take a bite. “Still good,” he declared with a grin.

Virgil rolled his eyes and took a long drag of the slushie.

“Don’t get brain freeze!”

“Whatever da-” He froze, chocking on the word.

Patton looked over at him, his face turning serious suddenly. “Hey kiddo,” the man said softly. He reached over to put a hand on his shoulder and looked at him with warm earnest eyes that made Virgil want to believe his words. “I’m going to make sure you’re okay, okay?”

Virgil looked away from his far too knowing eyes. “You don’t even know me, why would you?”

“I like helping people when I can. A couple hours of driving aren’t much to make sure someone else is safe. I spend a lot of my life driving anyway.”

“What do you even do?” Virgil asked.

“I mostly do odd jobs for my brother.”

“That doesn’t sound like a real job,” Virgil said.

He started the car and began to back up as he answered. “Do you know much about real jobs, then?” he asked.

“Well…” Virgil said. “I mean, no, but… still.”

Patton smiled over at him. “Okay, I answered a question about me-” Did he though? Virgil narrowed his eyes at him. “Now you answer a question about you.”

“Why?” Virgil asked suspiciously.

“Well, we have an hour and a half of driving left and neither of us are kidnapped anymore, we might as well get to know each other.”

“…What’s the question?”

“What’s your favorite subject in school?” Patton asked cheerily.

“Really?” Virgil asked. “Is this what we’re doing?” Patton just smiled over at him and Virgil went about tearing open his package of Red Vines. “English,” he said taking a bite of his candy.

“I always liked History myself, but English was fun.”

Virgil hummed. “You have any family other than your brother?” he asked.

“Lo has two sons. They’re twins.”

“Cool,” Virgil replied.

“Favorite color?”

“Purple. So, you don’t have kids then?”

“Not of my own,” Patton replied. “But I helped with the twins when they were younger, and I like to think of all of my coworkers as my kiddos.”

Virgil’s face twisted up. He didn’t know much about adult workplaces, but… “I’m sure they appreciate that,” Virgil scoffed

“I like to think so,” Patton said, seeming to not even register the skepticism in Virgil’s tone. Was the man ever anything but chipper? “Favorite movie?”

“Ratatouille,” he said on instinct and then felt his stomach drop. His favorite movie was Ratatouille because Uncle Emile always insisted on playing it during movie nights. Dad would complain loudly because he knew that Emile and Virgil would spend the rest of the night making jokes about dad having the same name as the rat.

“I don’t want to play this game anymore,” Virgil said, choked.

Patton glanced over at him in surprise. “Okay,” he said softly. Virgil was thankful he didn’t try to push.

They drove for another 10 minutes. Virgil did his best not to think about… everything, but it got increasingly harder. He tugged on the sleeve of his hoodie, his slushie and Red Vines forgotten. Finally, Patton looked back over at him, his eyes concerned. Virgil curled into himself expecting him to try to needle Virgil into talking.

Instead he just smiled sadly at him. “Why don’t we play a different game?”

“I… sure,” Virgil agreed. Might as well. Maybe it would help. “What game?”

“Ooo!” Patton said. “How about ‘I Kill Your Cows’? Lo always threatens to kill me by the end of that game.”

“And that’s a good thing?” Virgil asked.

“Yeah!” Patton said, “Because that means I’m winning.”

Virgil puffed out an amused breath. “Okay. How do you play?” he asked.

“Well,” Patton said. “Basically, when you see a group of cows you can claim them and say ‘I have 10 cows’ or however many there are. Whoever says it first gets the cows. If you see a church or other place people get married, you can say ‘I marry my cows’ and then your cows double. If you see a graveyard, you can say ‘I kill your cows’ and reset the other player back to zero cows. If you see a barn you can say ‘I put however many cows in that barn’ and the cows go in the barn. When they’re in the barn, they can’t be killed, but they can’t be married either. You have to wait to see another barn before you can take them out again.”

“Alright,” Virgil agreed. “Sure. Why not?”

“Great!” Patton said. “There’s a field of them up there. Since you’re new to the game, I’ll let you grab the first few.”

Virgil squinted at the cows in the field. “I have 6 cows,” he said.

“Nice job!” Patton said.

Virgil rolled his eyes. He didn’t know what was impressive about counting a few cows, but he smiled a bit anyway.

They continued to play the cow game for a while. Patton was obviously really good at this game and obviously trying to not be as good at the game as he actually was so Virgil wouldn’t lose by a million cows.

They turned on the radio after a while. Unfortunately, the conspiracy channel had fizzled out by now, so they turned to a local station that played a mix of music.

“Can I take horses?” Virgil asked after about 20 minutes of play.

“Sure,” Patton replied. “Go ahead.”

“Okay, I have 4 horses.”

“Ooo!” Patton said. “That horsey is a palomino! I’ll trade you two cows for that horse.”

Virgil was pretty sure that’s not how it was supposed to work. But… Patton was 18 animals ahead… “20,” Virgil countered.

Patton glanced over at him. “5.”

“15.”

“10.”

“11, so I’m winning for once.”

He thought about it for a long moment. “Deal,” he finally said.

“Yes!” Virgil said excitedly. “I’m winning!”

Patton smiled over at him. “I have five cows,” he said.

Virgil’s head shot up to look out the windshield. There were, in fact, five cows in the pasture right in front of them. “Dammit!”

Patton coughed meaningfully.

“You can’t murder me like that and then get mad when I cuss,” Virgil grumbled.

“Aw, cheer up kiddo. At least we haven’t found a graveyard yet.”

“But when we do, you will guiltlessly murder all of my cows,” Virgil said. “Because you are truly evil.”

Patton just laughed at him. Virgil grumpily reached forward to turn up the radio so he could ignore him easier.

The song that was playing faded out as he did so, and the radio jockey came on the air. “Quick traffic update, there’s been an accident on I-26. A semi-truck full of cattle rolled over near exit 52 and eastbound traffic has been stopped. If you’re on I-26, we’d suggest you find an alternative route as it will take a while to get all of the cows rounded up.”

“Well I’m glad we got off the interstate when we did,” said Patton.

“Yeah,” agreed Virgil. “It would suck to be stuck in the middle of that.” He paused and listened to the radio jockey continue to explain that the semi had been carrying at least 150 cows. “Hey, Patton, can I claim cows remotely?”

Want to read more? Click below!

Part 12

#sanders sides #patton sanders #virgil sanders #platonic moxiety #logan sanders #road trips and missing persons #adriana writes #janus sanders #remus sanders #roman sanders #creativitwins #emile picani #remy sanders #kidnapping #murder mentioned #guns

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morningstarinwinter · 3 years

Text

Hogwarts Mystery Character Profile : Danique Winter

Template by @hogwartsmysterystory

IDENTITY

Name: Danique Calista Winter

Gender: Female

Age: 15

Birth Date: 21 July 1973

Species: Human

Blood Status: Half-Blood

Sexuality: Bisexual, Demisexual

Alignment: True neutral

Ethnicity: Caucasian

Nationality: British

Residence: Gloucestershire, England

Myer Briggs Personality Type: INFP -The Mediator

THE MAGE

1st Wand: 11 inches hornbeam wand with a dragon heartstring core

2nd Wand: 12 and half inches with a phoenix feather core and surprisingly swishy flexibility

Animagus: White Maine coon cat with pink blushed cheeks

Misc Magical Abilities: She has intuition, not that she could the future like seer. Her intuition just let her know something might happen or she could sense others emotion.

Boggart Form: Her family and her friends look at her with disgusted/disappointed faces and turn their back at her (Fear of being abandoned)

Riddikulus Form: Everyone turns to face her with funny faces and laughing.

Amortentia: (What do they smell like?) : Freesia, peach, and a hint of coffee

Amortentia: (What do they smell?) : Forest, sandalwood, and fresh laundry

Patronus: Siberian Cat

Siberian cats are perfect as Patronuses. Fearless yet easygoing, they seem to always know when their humans need them for support or comfort. They can be quiet, with soft melodic purrs and chirps. While these may not be the cats to chase down a Dementor, they will stay with you, protecting and calming you until the Dementor fades away.

Patronus Memory: When she went to picnic with her family at the lake. Surrounded by wild flowers, making flower crowns with her mom, watching her dad broom racing with 12-year-old Jacob, peaceful life like this is the most precious memory of her.

Mirror of Erised: Her mom is alive and everyone in the family is happy again like before the end of first wizarding war.

Specialized/Favourite Spells: She can do some wandless and non-verbal spells

For wandless: Accio, Wingardium Leviosa, Episkey, Ferula, Multicorfors, Protego

For non-verbal: Colovaria, Scourgify, Depulso, Flipendo, Expelliarmus, Repello Muggletum

APPEARANCE

Faceclaim: Taylor R

Voiceclaim: Lauren Aquilina

Game Appearance:

Height: 5'5" (165 cm)

Weight: 105.82 Ibs (48 kg)

Physique: Slender

Eye Colour: Amber

Hair Colour: White

Skin Tone: Pale

Body Modifications: 5 ear piercings

Scarring: None

Inventory: wand, some snacks, lipstick, handkerchief, Walkman, notebooks, pen, wallet with some money

Fashion:

ALLEGIANCES

Hogwarts House: Hufflepuff

Ilvermorny House: Pukwudgie

Affiliations/Organizations:

Hufflepuff house

Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry

Circle of Khanna

Ministry of magic

Auror office

The Order of the Phoenix

Department for Regulation and Control of Magical Creature

Professions:

Auror (1992-2000)

Work for the Department for Regulation and Control of Magical Creature (2000-Now)

HOGWARTS INFORMATION

Class Proficiencies:

Astronomy: ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ☆ ☆ ☆

Charms: ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ☆

DADA: ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ☆

Flying: ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★

Herbology: ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ☆ ☆

History of Magic: ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ☆ ☆ ☆

Potions: ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

Transfiguration: ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ☆ ☆

Electives: Care of magical creatures, Divination

Quidditch: Chaser

Extra Curricular: Apparition, Muggle Music, Duelling club

Favourite Professors: Professor Filius Flitwick, Madame Hooch

Least Favourite Professors: Professor Severus Snape

RELATIONSHIPS

Brother: Rasalas Jacob Winter

Jacob is 5 years older than her

He was sorted to Gryffindor like father

His first name, Rasaras, means the northern star of the lion head (Constellation of Leo)

Jacob really love his sister, they are inseparable since she was born. When he first saw Danique, as a newborn, he swore to Merlin that he would protect her with all cost. When he went to Hogwarts, he sent a letter for Danique weekly. The letters are about his life in Hogwarts, he even tells her about the cursed vaults. Then there is R situation, he rarely sent her a letter. When she asked about the vault and why he didn't send a letter weekly, he said that he gave up and busy with his school works.

During Summer break, he would show Danique all the spells he studied and broom flying manoeuvres(Without mom and dad knowing). Even she doesn't have wand, she would try to mimic his move. One day when her magical ability is awake, she somehow could cast the spells without a wand. This is the reason why Danique knows and masters a lot of spells and has excellent flying skills.

One summer after Jacob was treated by R, he was a lot quiet and stayed in his room most of the time. Danique was feeling sad about this, but her dad told her that it is normal for teenagers to spend their time in the bedroom. So she tried to understand and playing with herself instead.

Knowing Jacob was expelled is quite a shock for her since Jacob was always serious about studying and had good grades. She was angry at him for ruining family's peace. He and father had never talk to each other again since that. Even she was angry, she sneaked into his room to talk to him sometimes. Surprisingly, Jacob talked to her. He also told her that he may disappear one day to seek for something and if he found it, it might make the situation better. Having thought about Jacob leaving, she cried and tried to beg him not to go. Jacob lied that he changed his mind and promised to stay. One morning when Danique went to his room to show her new achievement of wandless spell, he was not there.

Father: Dilan Sigourney Winter

Pure blood

Former Auror

Sorted to Gryffindor

Charming, persistent, easy going, family man

Curently work for Department of international Magical Cooperation

He loves his children so much. He always spend his freetime with them by playing with them, show them some spectacular spells, and take them to picnic at countryside near London.

Since there was an incident at the end of the first wizarding war, his wife died, he became more strict and protective. He worried about his children, especially Danique since she was young and unlike Jacob that he has a protection from Hogwarts. He quited his job and moved to countryside, far away from London. He even took Danique to work at the department.

When Jacob was expelled, he was really angry on Jacob behaviors and blamed himself for not taking a good care for him.

Mother: Helen Winter

Muggle-born

Sorted to Hufflepuff

Kind, generous, cheerful, dedicated

She was a famous singer in wizarding world, but she has some connections so she could hide her personal life from the society. No one know that she married and have kids, she just disappeared from the spotlight.

On October 20, there are a group of death eaters invaded in her house while her husband were out for work. Lucky for Jacob, he went to Diagon alley to search for a clue for cursed vault. She tried to protected her daughter, Danique, and was killed by one of the invaders. Before they could lay their hands on the poor girl, her father arrived from work and killed them all.

After 1 year of the incident, Dilan can't forgive himself and he missed her a lot. He decided to hire a painter to make a magical portrait of Helen.

So Danique's mom is a magical portrait!

Love Interest:

Artemis Clair de lune

Best Friends:

Penny Haywood

Barnaby Lee

Bill Weasley

Charlie Weasley

Rival : None (While everyone see Merula as a rival, she just think of her as a attention seeker kid)

Enemy: Rakepick, R

Dormmates: Penny Haywood, Nymphadora Tonks, Chiara Lobosca (In my headcanon Rowan is sorted to Ravenclaw)

Pets: Midnight the black cat, Snowdrop the barn owl

Closest Canon Friends:

Rowan Khanna

Chiara Lobosca

Penny Haywood

Tonks

Orion Amari

Barnaby Lee

Bill Weasley

Charlie Weasley

Andre Egwu

Erika Rath

Closest MC Friends:

May add this later👉🏻👈🏻

BACKGROUND/HISTORY (TBC)

About her clan

1st Year:

2nd Year:

3rd Year:

4th Year:

5th Year:

6th Year:

7th Year:

Order of the Phoenix / 2nd Wizarding War:

Post-War:

Old Age & Death:

PERSONALITY

Straightforward

Sarcastic

Flirty : She likes to flirt others as a joke, but if she gets flirted back from the one she interested, she would blush and even stutter.

Super protective and supportive towards her friends

Sweet (only to her friends)

Generous

Thoughtful

MISC

She likes to spend time alone at the black lake.

She always takes pictures with her polaroid and make a scrapbook of them.

Since she has intuition, she would use tarot card to see what's about to happen.

She is a good singer like her mother, she would just sing at the empty corridors or in the forest where no one could hear her. (Only when she feels sad)

Her dad taught her some martial art, so she can protect herself (aka kick some asses)

Also she is good at hide her feeling. No one would see her cry. She prefers to cry on her own at some quiet places around the castle.

Since she is a demisexual, she doesn't like to be touch by people who are not close to her, especially for boys.

On the weekend, she like to go to Honeydukes since she has a sweet tooth.

#this is my unfinished profile #I post this so everyone who wants to be her friend doesn't have to ask me #danique winter #hphm oc #oc info

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lady-plantagenet · 3 years

Text

What hasn’t already been said: The Spanish Princess 2

Episode 3: GOOD Grief! (we finally have a good episode on our hands)

To all those of you keen enough to have come back for another segment of ‘what hasn’t already been said: TSP’, as opposed to have just been scrolling when you see this - welcome back! (Scrollers you too <3)

Drawing of Thomas More’s Son AKA who Margaret Pole at this point wants to be the step baby momma of ;).

To anyone who’s seeing this for the first time: what this is a list of observations, jokes, reactions and criticism which occur to me upon a rewatch. I wait every week until Saturday to do this so that I have had my fill of scrolling through the tag and aggregating what has already been said. I tried doing a whole spoof (here where I gave up 10% in) but tbh a) I don’t know the history well enough b) it’s more time consuming than I thought and c) this series is just not as funny or as crazy as TWQ, so it’s untenable. Having said that: This is not a hatepost. I’m not hatewatching this series and nitpicking on purpose but expressing my honest views and trying to find the good in it as well as the bad.

Without further ado...

First Scenes:

LMAO the way Wolsey suggests they break their alliance with Spain is freaking hilarious because the actor delivers the lines as if he were a high school girl making a personal attack by suggesting the prom change its theme to 70s disco to the chagrin of the peppy up-and-coming rival.

Also @ Henry VIII looking like the peppy up-and-comer’s bff and shy stan with that pencil bite and small smirk when Catherine loses her cool against Wolsey.

I’m sorry... who is Henry married to again?

Also what is Margaret Pole doing at the council meeting?? I’m not saying I don’t like it.

Margaret Pole warning against certain repetitive thinking creating madness :(((

Attempted Naked Twister:

Oh Catherine, what is with you and all the other STARZ protagonists and that weird politcky bedroom talk? Who actually finds this sexy?

‘Catherine you are unnatural’ ooof that line delivery was somehow haunting.

Was the whole ‘I can’t be rushed you are off-putting with your overpowering’ a callback to Arthur and Catherine? Apparently there’s another writer for this episode so I won’t put all subtly past them.

Scotland:

‘Shitey men’ asdkjashd

Look I’m tired of all this ‘my children won’t be safe’ line getting repeated. Look mate, murder of royal infants and children was not exactly a common occurence, even in cases of deposition. The Princes in the Tower are an exception to this but a very infamous case for that reason. Child murder was extremely taboo. In situations like this with an infant kid, no one is going to bother murdering the babies and taking their thrones, the lords will just vie for power and make themselves de facto rulers and oust the queen. It’s not a question of safety but a question of holding power. Stop giving all women characters perma mummy brains.

Maggie being all caring:

‘Barnaby’ *scoffs* ‘Such an English name’ - OH MAN 0_0 is Catherine mocking them for trying to adapt ? Like I know it’s meant to show her envy for Lina, but it’s coming out all messed up.

Our girl Maggie’s smile screams I’m beating your ass in chess.

Anyhow this is the least histrionic we’ve seen Catherine so far.

Chaplain vs Catherine:

I’m interested how Catherine will feel at Stafford’s execution given that I have noticed this show build up to a friendship between them.

Why is everyone laughing at the whole ‘will you delight us with new schemes’ line was not that funny?

LMAO at Thomas Boleyn’s attempted brown-nosing.

You know what? Ruairi is a decent actor. When he says ‘so you admit it? you lost the child because you tried to be a man?” the actor conveys Henry’s troubled mind, lowkey scare towards Catherine and bewilderment all in one. The way his eyes do not move but just widen emotionlessly also gives this sense that he is being manipulated (which I guess they are going for with Wolsey). Then the whole choir music in the background.. I don’t know.. I’m liking this, it’s creating a vibe of a king of haunted and increasingly paranoid Henry. I’m sure they are going for that, so good.

Ursula Pole and Mama:

Maggie Pole say ‘riches don’t keep you safe’ with tears in her eyes :’(. Please tell me how this is not her thinking on her parents and granddad Warwick and what befell them ;’(.

I find Ursula refreshing actually, don’t get those types of heroines often. But they are making her similar to a gold-digger, an exhalted marriage was first and foremost considered a thing of honour. Noblepeople wouldn’t speak in such mercenary terms regarding their marriages.

Post Mary Defiance:

I love the ‘horse’ nickname from Brandon n’awwww

Also just realised what made TWQ so atmospheric - that wierd ‘oooo’ sound effect in the background when a character was being paranoid or worrying. They are using it during Henry’s ‘How is it that I have no sons?’ and it is just... so effective.

Catherine calling them ordinary children... she just keeps striking me as more and more classist. Like ok, I know every royal was... but still, I thought she was meant to see Lina as a friend and equal despite her race and status. To add the race element, this kind of rubs me the wrong way.

Also it is so clear by the end when Catherine states how the king is upset with her, she expects Maggie to ask her about it.. but she doesn’t lmao.

Back to Scotland until Sexy boy fencing:

I love me this soft boi. Angus <3 <3

I like how they address that some men don’t really like killing and that violence isn’t inherent in a man’s nature.

Oh man, are we supposed to look at Lina’s house and deplore the impoverished conditions? It would go for at least 3,000,000 pounds in today’s property market?

Is Catherine being particularly classist again with ‘Why u not becoming a butcher Wolsey, ey?’.

Though I will admit the ‘but giving meat to the poor is also good’ was one of her only smart comebacks.

Just realised, Catherine’s pink dress pretty as it is, looks straight out of the 1570s... why?

Montage and After:

You guys are right, there is this weird longing between Henry and Wolsey lmao. It is actually insane.

So basically Catherine is officially depressed

OOOFF we have Stafford as regent instead of Catherine. (edit: I suppose it’s cause they go to France which they didn’t historically? Also if Stafford is at home then what is his son later doing in France, why would he be there without his father. This show didn’t think this through)

Meg Singing:

An impassionate speech is not too anachronistic. But despite the title of this post (what hasn’t been said) I will reiterate that 16th century and Medieval people’s problem wasn’t that they were ashamed of their grief and didn’t cry. In fact, crying was somewhat more socially acceptable then than it even is now! Even manly men like Arthur were written as crying in literature such as Malory’s Morte d’Arthur. Obviously you couldn’t go overboard, but in truth crying was indeed often too performative rather than hidden too much behind doors.

Pole and More UWUWU in France and after:

I LIKE THIS INTELLECTUAL FLIRTING

It’s nice to see a depiction of romantic feelings between mature and level-headed subjects.

God Mary Tudor is so beautiful in this scene jesus. and the music when she was being presented was also very beautiful.

Maggie Pole getting given ‘a modest income’ yeah... she was one of the wealthiest peers of her day.

Also Maggie’s lady cousin not lady aunt Frost!

‘shaking of the sheets’ lmaoooo

William Compton cracks the hell out of me. I love this guy. He is just so creepy and twisted yet super keen and friendly. ahaha He looks like a riot, I hope we see him more. lmao tiles.

Also this palace feels very anachronistic almost 18th century-ish.

I like the Louis and Mary sequence, it’s nice seeing him trying to make her feel less scared, but OMFG when he lay on that chair.. for one second I thought they were trying to kill him off already.

Scotland: ‘Love is an open doooooorrrrr’ + Last Scene:

I ship Meg and Douglas ahhhh this soft boi x strong woman match is everything Henry and Catherine could have been.

I wonder... why is Lina speaking in Spanish more than Catherine. hmmm Are they trying to foreshadow Lina’s eventual return home and how Catherine become a true englishwoman?

Conclusion:

7.5/10

I cannot in all fairness believe it. This was actually decent. I’ve given up on historical accuracy long ago so by this point I’m focusing more on how it stands as as drama. I mean, TWQ was also a flop when it came to grasping the complex issues of that era but why do I feel compelled to rewatch it every year? Because it had atmosphere when it came to acting, music, certain aesthetics (though the costumes let me down often). It felt adequately gothic and dark, yet bright and jewel-lish when it had to be, sometimes both at the same time. Some one-liners were also memorable etc...

So far TSP 2 did not have any of this. Everything felt way too off and anachronistic. But not even consistently anachronistic. The music was also often very meh (though I just noted the absence of the spanish stringy theme that kept playing in season 1 - I guess I understand why), the dialogue very clichéd (‘alright lads let’s throw in the words: king, crown, power, fight, battle + other buzzwords and we have ourselves Shakespeare’) and so on... but I saw a change in this episode and I couldn’t initially point out what it was.

Upon rewatch, I identified some of the improvements (noted above) but above all: The producer was different! Boy does it show. Unfortunately, I think she is only for this one episode which really sucks. Come back! There is more chemistry between the couples, less predictable interactions, pervy Compton, cinnamonroll Douglas, better music, more scenic shots (e.g Douglas and Margaret in church) e.t.c. I hope it will match the rest of the STARZ productions in getting better towards the end.

Look it’s no masterpiece. But I’ll give credit where it’s due because at least this time it didn’t leave me feeling wanting and unsatisfied (if that makes sense).

#the spanish princess #the spanish princess 2 #lady plantagenet's series reviews #catherine of aragon #henry viii #mary tudor queen of france #margaret tudor #charles brandon #margaret pole

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