#he strikes me as the type to steal the stage and then act all shy afterwards | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ataraxiies · 4 years

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✶⋆｡˚☆ﾟ✦ ︴boyfriend material

synopsis: round one of headcanons concerning the hq boys as your boyfriend!

★˚｡ —⌇characters: kageyama tobio (181.9 cm of bf material) , sugawara koushi (174.3 cm of bf material), akaashi keiji (182.3 cm of bf material), oikawa tooru (184.3 cm of bf material), & tendou satori (187.7 cm of bf material)

★˚｡ — ⌇ genre: fluff

★˚｡ — ⌇ warnings: n/a

★˚｡ — ⌇ author’s note: i know this prolly has been done a dozen times before (i rlly hope these aren’t repetitive), but this just seemed like the proper headcanon set to start off with! so voilà: my first series of headcanons! hope you enjoy! \(*´꒳`*)/

✶▐ kageyama tobio ↝

✦ even if he’s a socially awkward boy, a bit rough around the edges, kageyama could make such a sweet boyfriend (i mean having you as his s/o makes him softer alright). he’s passionate about the things and, in this case, person, he cares about, and it shows through his actions more than his words.

✦ now i’m not saying he’ll write you love poems & serenade you in the night or anything crazy like that . . . as i definitely headcanon him as the type to be a unintentionally mean to his s/o.

✦ but hear me out! those nicknames he calls you may be a little mean in spirit (“dummy”, “idiot”, “stupid”, etc) but the way he says it-- it’s more on the endearing side than mean-spirited. you’re his adorable dummy, okay?

✦ he’s the classic case of “if the boy is mean to you, he likes you”— basically a tsundere lol. he has probably accidentally made you cry once, but since then, it’s been his priority to never make you cry again. his apology to that: it was very sincere & short, and you could tell by the grim look on his face that he felt bad. all is forgiven-

✦ he’s very shy about physical affection especially in the early stages of your relationship; the boy just tenses up whenever you initiate a hug or even hold his hand. you’re prolly worried about how rigid he is tbh. but... not to worry! over time, he’ll ease up & melt into it. maybe even initiating it himself for once (yeah step up, kags).

✦ not gonna lie, he’s gonna be a bit clueless at times. also- insensitive, dense & just outright awkward (*cough* “the course of true love never did run smooth” *cough*) . . . but the reason for this is you’re probably his first significant other, so this whole concept of being your boyfriend is foreign to him.

✦ he still puts up A+ effort because he really does want you to be happy. he’ll be good at remembering some of the small details (your birthday for one). besides, he’s straightforward, so if he’s unsure about what he’s supposed to do, he’ll ask.

✦ kageyama definitely is more chivalrous than he appears! if you’re shivering from the cold, he’ll gruffly inquire, “why didn’t you dress better?” ... while he takes off his jacket to cover around you gently.

✦ this just goes to show his love language is most definitely either: acts of service or quality time. later on in the relationship, as your bond deepens, his love language may change to physical touch. he’s just never been one for words, so i can’t see words of affirmation for him.

✦ he’s not sure how to handle you or comfort you if you’re sad, but he probably ends up listening quietly & giving you his full attention. you’re taken aback by his level of concentration on you.

✦ by the way— he can be brutally honest, so if he ends up telling you a compliment then you know it’s genuine.

✦ kageyama has a habit of looking... kinda surly all the time?? but that’s just his face! he’s always content hanging out with you, be it tossing a volleyball back and forth or walking around town on a date.. but truly, the boy adores volleyball dates... like if you don’t play, he’ll try to teach you even at the risk of being made fun of by his upperclassmen (looking at nishinoya and tanaka specifically...). but, if you do play, practicing together regularly is lowkey a thing between you two.

✦ unfortunately, he’s bad at texting. the world’s dryest texter... the king of one word replies: “okay”, “sure”, “no”, “yeah”... even the dreaded “k”. it’s gotten to the point when you’re surprised if he answers back with more than a single word.

✦ communication may be a bit tough at first— but as long as you guys are equally honest & open, there is no such thing as a problem you two can’t solve.

✦ one more thing: steal his sweatshirts!! he’ll be so flustered at how cute you look in his sweatshirt. the boy ofc won’t admit, but yeah you doing that makes him so soft & makes him want to hold you in his arms.

✶▐ sugawara koushi ↝

✦ this boy would make such a god-tier boyfriend— the type that even your dad would have to approve of because sugawara is that attentive & supportive.

✦ of course, he does have a mischievous side to watch out for... but honestly that makes him ten times more dateable in my book.

✦ i get the sense that he once joking called you princess.. and then it just kinda stuck?? like, he probably has a plethora of endearing nicknames for you, but his favorite is princesss. he treats you like one, too.

✦ he, for sure, does cute good morning & good night texts like: “good morning, princess! ☀️ hope you have a good day & i can’t wait to see you on our date later ” & “good night!! 😘 i wish we could spend more time together... but make sure you have 8-10 hours of sleep so you’re fully rested ! ”.

✦ he’s so loving & he really looks out for you... he’s responsible and sensible by nature. so yeah, that’s probably why your mom is looking at you with those eyes that basically say “you picked a good one”.

✦ however— as mentioned before, sugawara... isn’t as angelic as he may appear. as much as he loves doting on you, he adores playfully teasing you, too! your flustered expression just makes him feel some kinda way.

✦ he probably lovingly teased you even before becoming a couple. why? to grab your attention of course. you appreciate that he never crossed the line, and that he kept it lighthearted.

✦ his love language?? why not all? i mean, i can definitely see words of affirmation (the boy can whip up some really smooth words okay) & physical touch being his main ones. he just can’t help but say what he feels about you; it’s no surprise it’s all good things. but he also adores soft touches... like he may be a bit needy in the sense that he adores holding your hand, or softly pulling you into an embrace just to have you close to him, or giving you a soft head pat—

✦ he may come off as clingy & protective (sugamama—), but he means well! plus, he’s selfless to a fault & always puts you first. problems in your relationship may stem from the fact he neglects his own needs (which adjsdeheh so flipping bittersweet).

✦ he definitely is so touched/moved when you essentially try to pay him back. for example, something as simple as initiating a hug, or giving a meaningful gift, or just hyping him up when he’s feeling down... like JUST seeing his beaming smile is more than enough for you to fall in love with him all over again.

✦ suga doesn’t strike to me as the jealous type, but he does have natural instincts that may make him protective?? like, in his mind, he rationally knows that he’s the one for you, but at the same time, he can’t help but occassionally let others overtly know you’re taken! catch him giving you a surprise kiss when he’s listening to his instincts-

✦ on a different note, your dates with sugawara are especially cute! like, sugawara works to make things run smoothly. you probably go on all the typical dates like movie night or dinner date (he without fail offers to pay), but doing so with sugawara makes it so more fun!

✦ he treats you right: he walks you home, he listens to you with no distraction, he happily lends you his jacket/sweatshirt, and he even gives you piggback rides (even if you’re like “no, no i’m too heavy—”, he’s quick to say “nonsense! besides, i’m pretty strong you know.. i do work out, y/n)”.

✦ by the way, daichi & the whole karasuno volleyball squad totally approve of your relationship. it’s so touching how they support you and sugawara (even if it’s by whistling when he innocently pecks you on the cheek or something)-

✶▐ akaashi keiji ↝

✦ akaashi keiji . . . you mean the epitome of boyfriend material?? i’m not biased i swear.

✦ given that he’s blunt, i can imagine a decent amount of girls turning him away as a potential boyfriend. . . even if he’s such a pretty boy.

✦ but you?? the one who insisted on being with him because of his overall personality & being? not just his looks?? yeah, you better believe he does treat you right.

✦ i just have to say it: STUDY DATES.

✦ akaashi is very smart, so i feel he’d make such a good peer tutor like you don’t even know! he’ll be great at explaining certain problems in a way that even the teacher may fail at doing, and more importantly, he knows how to motivate you to study.

✦ whether you yourself are a smart bean or not, he will cunningly offer sweet rewards to get you to study & retain the needed information. he’s a little more sneaky than you give him credit for— he knows what he’s doing, playing this game.

✦ of course he just wants an excuse to hug & maybe even kiss you - but he swears that he’s doing this for your own good, which technically isn’t a lie.

✦ bokuto definitely helped orchestrate you two getting together. he’s the ultimate wingspiker as well as wingman if you know what i mean. bokuto often made plans for the three of you, and uh, coincidentally he had other things come up the day of those planned meetups (but he didn’t really fool akaashi-). even so, bokuto also somehow expedited the process of akaashi opening up to you, and you’re just... hella grateful.

✦ akaashi is quiet & reserved; it takes a decent amount of time for him to let down his walls... but it’s worth it! once he opens up to you, you find there’s more to him than meets the eye. i mean that could be said for anyone, but akaashi is more protective & sweet to his s/o than people have guessed.

✦ he’s not overly doting or affectionate, but it’s the small things he does that show you he cares. he regularly texts you to see if you’re doing okay or if you got home safe. he makes sure to hover a little closer to you in a way that’s shielding you if he senses someone eyeing you with ill intentions. he doesn’t hesitate to buy you a snack or a drink if your stomach growls (to which you may blush profusely for) or if you look particularly parched. he’s quietly attentive and only the super observant people can catch on to that fact.

✦ acts of service may just be his main love language! he’s ALWAYS looking out for you & doing things that, in retrospect, is really thoughtful & heartwarming.

✦ even his gifts reflect how much time he spends on thinking about you. for example, you’ll be like “akaashi how’d you know i wanted this?” and he’ll simply reply “i remembered seeing you eye this in that one shop we passed by, so i bought it the other day-” and you’re just like “akaashi... that was like eight months ago how did you remember—” “ . . . ”

✦ it’s not to say he’s perfect (imeanifeellikeheisbutthat’sbesidesthepoint) ! he does have moments where he just can’t help but feel a little clingy especially if it’s just the two of you?? like there are moments where he’s very vulnerable around you, and just needs you close to him. it’s moments like these where he’ll pretty much be desiring cuddles and soft kisses— he’ll die if you end up telling bokuto about this side of him though. it’s like a secret side only you get to see, alright?

✦ he gets a bit flustered with pda though... like small pecks and hugs and hand holding is all good, but full on making out is a rare occassion (perhaps when he’s feeling a bit possesive??).

✦ also- just one more thing... akaashi can have sarcastic humor, but in your relationship, you can tell when he’s being serious or if he’s simply teasing you. in fact, the two of you joke around quite a bit?? his laugh is so beautiful. which is so wholesome because that means you’re at that level where akaashi isn’t closed up!

✶▐ oikawa tooru ↝

✦ we all know oikawa got dumped by his girlfriend due to him being “obsessed with volleyball” (cue that scene where it’s nighttime ‘n he’s watching volleyball film with intense concentration)... so the fact he’s got a significant other who accepts how passionate he is about this sport makes him happy beyond words!

✦ so happy that he makes it his obligation to rub it in his teammates’ faces. it makes his teammates royally pissed off especially iwaizumi. of course when it’s on the volleyball court, he’s dialed in, but off the court, he excitedly rambles about the cute or maybe funny things you do. he just loves bragging about you.

✦ if he ever hears about you bragging about having him or hyping him up, he’ll catch all the uwus. it just makes his ego swell ngl. but if you ever hype him up in front of him?? hoo... he’ll combust; it’ll move him so much. he’ll sheepishly say “thank you” because it just caught him off guard.

✦ he pulls you in for cute selfies & pictures literally everywhere you go. it may get old, but the pictures serve as visuals for memories. plus, they always come out good because he knows how to work a camera- his go to pose is the peace sign with his boyish smile.

✦ oikawa’s social media ends up consisting of three things: volleyball, family & you... but ever since you guys started dating, you make quite a lot of appearances on his social media. as such, his teammate tease for this; “it’s basically a fan account for y/n” — kunimi probably.

✦ unfortunately, you may have to deal with some jealous people given that your boyfriend is hella popular. and it’s tiresome because where do people get off?? but, part of the reason why oikawa is so open with his romantic gestures is to show the others that you’re the only one for him. it’s not a question; he’ll choose you over a fan anyday.

✦ oikawa... can be lowkey childish, and i can imagine him being pretty touchy-feely (his love language being physical touch or words of affirmation most likely??). again he’s a bit of a show off, so pda may be a prevalent thing. he’ll probably sit close to you, and he’ll urge you to lay your head on his shoulder if you’re feeling lethargic. or he may give you a surprise kiss when he think you look cute- he can’t resist. but i can imagine him backing off if it makes you uncomfy! he does prize your comfort above his own needs!

✦ he’ll also be much like a puppy in a relationship?? he especially likes it when you initiate those cute couple things- it’s usually him taking the lead, but he’ll adore it when it’s you for a change who wants the affection- it may go two ways: a) he teases you and eventually gives you what you want or b) he just gives in because you’re too cute!

✦ oikawa is an avid texter, responding back pretty quickly (unless he’s at volleyball practice)... anyway, he doesn’t hesitate to send you funny things he found or articles that affirms something he said in turn proving him right about that or just checking in on you. he uses a decent amount of emojis, too, so it’s always amusing to see his barrage of texts. he probably saves texting “i love you” after saying it aloud rather than doing so on a screen first.

✦ why do i feel like you guys go on fun dates?? like take his interest in aliens! for one date destination, you guys probably have visited a site where aliens allegedly landed! and after, you just watch cool sci-fi movies together with plenty of snacks & blankets to cuddle up in. and perhaps on a different date, you guys go to a haunted house (catch oikawa screaming louder than you lol).

✦ he loves it when you support him at his volleyball games!! like, he’ll feel fired up to show off for you because you’re there & he wants your validation okay? (not sure if he’s the type to point to his s/o in the crowd after a good play but maybe??) he’ll also return the favor, supporting you in whatever endeavors you pursue!

✦ speaking of support... his teammates, despite teasing oikawa for being, well, oikawa, definitely support you guys! like, someone who can keep up with oikawa & his antics?? they’re impressed there’s someone like that out there.

✶▐ tendou satori ↝

✦ tendou satori as a boyfriend?? actually more boyfriend material than you’d initially think. like sure, he’ll mess with you a little to evoke cute reactions, but where it counts, he’ll treat you so well.

✦ given that tendou has been bullied & made fun of for his appearance (and name), i feel like he’d never go as far as to make you feel the way he felt when he was branded as a “monster”. he keeps his teasing pretty lighthearted, and he’d never want to seriously degrade you ever.

✦ i feel tendou does have his moments where his confidence is at an all time low. and he naturally seeks you out for reassurance & comfort because your very presence calms him and gives him a mood boost. he visibly lights up if you offer to come over to his dorm room for much needed comfort huggles. it’s times like those that he really feels lucky you’re his and he’ll make sure to return the favor tenfold!

✦ speaking of huggles, tendou’s hugs tend to be pretty tight i’d imagine. like the kind that squeezes you with all the love he wants to show you? he just loves you so much, and he feels his words won’t be enough to convey that. i think he’d love to pull you in for hugs at spontaneous times; not that you’re complaining. also- if you run your hands through his hair during hugs, it drives him crazy—

✦ he’s probably into pda — he’d gladly show you off because he truly believes he struck gold when you became his s/o!! but, he may be receptive to the offhanded comments about you deigning to date someone like tendou. at which point, if you pull him in for a kiss then & there, his spirits would be quite lifted. he doesn’t mind being caught off guard like that, and he’ll definitely try to get one more kiss-

✦ his love language is for sure physical touch! he enjoys the hugging & kissing component of dating a lot; he can’t keep his hands to himself. catch him tryna initiate tickle fights. besides, he practically lives on your physical affection, and he gets a lil’ greedy, wanting more. of course, if you’d ask him for affection, he’ll be lightning quick to give it (well maybe after teasing you for your openness, not that he truly minds it ofc)!

✦ on a totally different note! tendou does enjoy drawing out fun reactions from you. like, he’s the type of boyfriend to scare his s/o for the fun of it... for example, you’re casually waiting around for tendou, and the next thing you know he totally shocked you with his tight hug from behind. it’s sweet & you weren’t expecting it but man that scared you when you didn’t realize who it was at first!! you probably become more alert of your surroundings due to this. of course, he apologized for scaring you, but couldn’t help his chuckle.

✦ he definitely texts you about the randomest things... like, you’re always kept on your toes because you just don’t know what to expect from him when he’s texting?? like, one day, he’ll text you a really cute good morning and the next day, he sends a random meme without any context. by the way, there’s no pattern- you start to think he just texts you randomly because he’s curious on how’d you react.

✦ for some reason i headcanon that he likes to say “i love you” in a sing-songy voice (and ofc he means it), but when he’s in a serious mood, he’ll just come out & say it without any sing-song cadence. it just hits different i’d say because his serious expression matches what he’s trying to convey.

✦ oh for dates?? you guys could literally go anywhere, and it would be so much fun! like— amusement parks are a go... aquariums... hikes... petting zoos... internet cafes... you name it! you two can find fun in any sort of date because you both knows it’s always the companion that matters more than the actual activity. tendou definitely holds your hand a lot on a date— squeezing gently now & again because he doesn’t really want to let go (tendou your protective side is showing skdueus).

✦ tendou’s teammates actually like you a lot by the way... you make tendou really happy (which is something semi noticed right away). at first, they were a little surprised someone would genuinely date him, but given your wholesome interactions with him, they give you two thumbs up— even if they’re slightly envious tendou’s got a girl.

#haikyuu headcanons #hq headcanons #hq hcs #haikyuu headcanon #hq headcanon #hq hc #kageyama tobio #sugawara koushi #akaashi keiji #tendou satori #headcanons #haikyuu #hq #lily writes

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yodawgiherd · 5 years

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Sharing is Caring

Rating: T

>>>Read on AO3<<<

Life is pain, time is short, you know how we roll. On a more positive note, I'm really enjoying the JeanHitch thing, aka the ship which I still have no idea how to name. Jetch!

Enjoy!

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“Should I like, strike a pose or something?“

Petra, standing with the camera at attention, only shrugged, looking over at Jean who was tapping his chin.

“Maybe do the thing like you are about to hit the bag? That would give the photo a bit of energy.”

Following his instruction, Mikasa walked over to where the training bag was hanging, and pulled her hand back, as if preparing to punch it.

“Like this?”, she asked.

But while Jean nodded, Petra shook her head at the same time.

“No, this looks way too staged.”, she pointed out, “Why don’t you do the moment when your fist hits the bag, that will be way better, trust me.”

Holding in a tired sigh, Mikasa did as told, extending her arm until her glove covered knuckles rested against the material of the bag. This thing was honestly the most tiresome photoshoot she did up do this date. In theory, it was supposed to be easy, snap a few pictures for the viral promotion of Levi’s gym, a few shots of the interior, few of her training inside, and boom, done. But then the reality happened, and she came to realize just how important it is to have a single experienced person as a leader of, well, anything really. Why just one? Because while both Petra and Jean had the experience to be in the lead, with her being professional photographer and him having a vast history in marketing and management, they simply couldn’t agree on anything.

When Mikasa was working with Dot, over at the studio, he always had everything firmly in hand. Things happened when he said it, how he said it, and no one questioned him, ensuring the smooth progression of his work. But here, she was running around like a headless chicken, from one place to the other, while Petra and Jean endlessly argued over lighting, poses, attire, and anything that they could legitimately bicker about. Even the simple act of Mikasa changing into her workout clothes took about fifteen minutes, because Petra originally wanted her to wear something else, new, but Jean thought that she should stick with her usual routine, and the first problem was born. Finally, just as Mikasa was about to lose her mind, Petra conceded, and the real work began. Snapping pictures left and right, the photographer directed her one way, and Jean the other, Mikasa doing her best to satisfy them both, exhausting herself in the process. That’s why now, standing next to the bag, she was already silently dreading the next exchange between the two, which was bound to happen. Yet to her surprise, Jean just nodded.

“I agree, this one is great.”

Petra, who seemed about as taken aback as Mikasa was, decided not to push her luck and quickly snapped a few photos, before Jean had the chance to change his mind.

“All right, amazing as always.”, said Petra straightening, and looked over her shoulder at Jean, “You think we got enough?”

“Totally.”

“Then I guess we should move on.”, redirecting her gaze at someone, who until now leaned against the wall, casually sipping from a cup, she grinned, “Levi, would you be so kind as to come here?”

The man in question almost spat out his tea.

“What? Me?”

“Obviously.”, Petra rolled her eyes at him, “We already have something to entice the male audiences,”, she pointed at the slightly confused Mikasa, “now we need something for the female part. Now come on, we’re losing sunlight.”

Seeing no real way to get out of this situation with his dignity intact, Levi pushed himself off the wall, exchanging places with Mikasa who, stealing the cup of tea from his numb fingers, leaned against the wall herself, and took a sip, intent on enjoying the show.

“Right.”, Petra nodded, once again raising her camera, “Let’s lose that shirt and get to work.”

Levi couldn’t believe what he was hearing.

“You want me to go topless?”

“Why not? It’s going to look a lot better, and the girls will love it, trust me.”, seeing that he still hasn’t made a move, she looked at him over the machine in her hands, “What’s wrong? Shy?”

“No.”

“Then what are you waiting for?”

Shooting an angry look at Mikasa, as this whole thing was her idea in the first place, Levi took off his shirt, carefully folding it over a chair. There, now he was naked from waist up.

“Happy?”, he growled at Petra.

Instead of answering, she gave him thumbs up, and snapped the first picture. The photoshoot went on, now with Levi as a victim, as Jean finally woke up and started putting in his suggestions again. About hour and half later, when they basically went through the whole gym, getting multiple snaps of the owner around the machines, they finally looked just about done, when Jean snapped his fingers, remembering something.

“We still need that cover photo.”, he told Petra, who nodded in response.

“Totally. Who do you want there?”

“Why don’t we take both?”

“Yea, I guess that would be for the best.”

Mikasa, who had such a nice time relaxing, was rudely called back, and made to stand next to her brother, while the duo of directors started figuring out how to position them both.

“Fighting?”

“No, that’s not the spirit we are looking for.”

“How about one spotting the other?”

“That could work, but it would put too much spotlight on the spotting one, no?”

“Hmm I agree, then what about…”

This went on for some time, as both Petra and Jean had a lot of ideas but could never agree with the other. Tired after the work, Levi leaned back against the ropes of the ring, sighing, and after a few seconds, Mikasa mirrored him, not sure how long will they have to stand there. But then Jean looked up, and seeing them like that, he tapped Petra’s shoulder.

“How about this?”, he asked, pointing at the duo.

“That’s…perfect! We take the photo like this, slap the logo in the middle, and voila, amazing cover!”

Levi, who until now had no idea that his gym had a logo, was just about to ask what the hell are they talking about, but before he could get the first word out Jean interrupted him.

“Mikasa, could you fetch water bottles and towels please, we need to simulate the after-workout tiredness.”

Shrugging, the raven left to get what was asked for, while Petra already had another problem in mind.

“We need more sweat.”, she noted.

Now Levi was supposed to do like what? Hundred crunches or some shit to make himself look tired for a single fucking photo. That’s a deal of the century, right there.

“I got this.”, said Mikasa’s voice from somewhere to his left, and he turned, curious to see what she was talking about.

“What…”

And was hit right in the face by a splash of cold water, drenching him.

“…the fuck?!”, finally managing to finish, he frantically swiped the water from his eyes, eyeing his approaching sister with a murderous intent.

“A bit of artificial sweat.”, she pointed out, duping a bit of the water on herself too. “With no work required. Genial, huh?”

Having really no comeback, Levi just growled, turning back towards Petra who seemed to be holding in a fair portion of giggling. She gave him a thumbs up, apparently satisfied with the “sweat” he had “worked up”, and left Jean to direct both him and Mikasa back towards their leaning against the ropes position. A snap later, they were done, and Petra thanked them for their hard work, leaving the gym with Jean in tow. Outside, she finally exploded in the burst of laughter, and after Jean made sure that they were out of Levi’s earshot, he joined in. After all, the scene of Mikasa drenching Levi out of nowhere was pretty funny, but he would never laugh anywhere where the short man could hear him. Levi was a bit too scary for that.

Inside the gym, the object of their amusement was left to stare at the water drops slowly drifting down his naked chest, while next to him stood Mikasa, who seemed to be completely content as she casually drank the rest of the bottle in a few gulps. But now that they were alone, he remembered that one more thing they had on the agenda, so turning towards his sister, he cleared his throat.

“Hey, brat.”

Her greys swung towards him.

“We need to talk.”, he continued, “Take a shower, change and come to my office.”

She nodded.

Satisfied with the amount of understanding they reached, Levi took his leave, furiously drying himself with a towel. Stupid water gets everywhere.

Half an hour later, they were both sitting in Levi’s office, showered and changed, with the older brother frowning at his sister over the table. Oblivious to his staring, she was looking down at the screen of her phone, tapping away, and judging from the smile tugging at the corners of her mouth, or the way her cheeks colored lightly as she bit her bottom lip, it wasn’t hard to guess who she was texting. Sighing, Levi decided to graciously grant her a moment to herself, using that time to look over her exterior and see how she was doing. Mikasa wasn’t wearing anything special, shorts, black stockings and shirt, combined with her signature leather jacket and combat boots. It wasn’t the parts of the outfit, but the thing as a whole that sold it, the pieces fitting together very well with her earrings, necklaces and the multiple rings on her fingers, the engagement one somehow matching into the whole set. Levi wasn’t interesting in fashion, not in the slightest, but even he could see that his sister’s sense of style was improving at a rapid pace, undoubtedly the influence of her work as a professional model. She always had that inside her, the ability to dress well, to make things match, it wasn’t the lack of fashion sense that was her problem, Mikasa simply didn’t feel like bothering with it, most of the time. But when she did, it was a sight to behold. If he was a different type of person, he would tell her that she looks really good and that he’s proud of her. But Levi was Levi, so clearing his throat instead, he began the conversation with some light ice breakers.

“How’s your fashion work going. Good?”

“Uhm…”, pocketing her phone, Mikasa met his gaze, arching an eyebrow, “Since when do you care what I do outside the gym?”

“You’re family, of course I care.”

“Well, if you’re asking, Kiyomi picked me for the group that will do an Oriental themed collection.”

Levi snorted. Mikasa wearing a kimono? Ha, he couldn’t wait to see that.

“Doesn’t she have anyone better for that?”

“What do you mean?”

“Don’t take this the bad way, but you are, you know, half-breed. Same as me”

She didn’t seem offended by that.

“I know, but apparently I’m Japanese enough, according to Kiyomi, the Russian half doesn’t seem to bother her.”

“We do have the narrower eyes.”, Levi agreed, “I guess that you will pass.”

Mikasa shook her head, seeing right through those feeble attempts at deception.

“Thanks. And now that we are done with the heart-to-heart about our family tree, can you finally get to the point big brother? You always sucked at small talk.”

He didn’t miss the jab she took at his height with the “big” brother phrase. If she wanted to get real, time to get real then.

“Tell me, little sister,”, take that, jerk, “how long will your successful streak in martial arts keep going? What do you think?”

“Uhm…”, she frowned, “What are you implying?”

“You see, there are certain factors that could put stops on your, hmm, growth, factors that are hard to predict but tend to happen to people.”, Levi stared at her, hoping that she will get the hint, but all he got was a blank look back.

“Women, specifically.”, he offered, sparking understanding behind Mikasa’s eyes.

“Oh, you mean pregnancy. Children.”

See, she wasn’t that stupid, if she tried.

“Exactly.”

“That’s not really a problem in my case.”, she shrugged, “Me and Eren got that thing covered.”

“Condoms?”

“Nah.”

The feeling of getting rawed was too good to miss out on.

“You on the pill?”

“Nope.”, Mikasa tapped her arm, “An implant.”

“I see….”, Levi paused for a minute, figuring out how to continue.

“But let’s say that some accident would happen, however unlikely and you would…”

Her voice stopped him.

“Please, stop with this going in circles. Just tell me what this is about.”¨

Seems like his persuasion technique still needs some work. Okay then, time to dive in.

“There’s a big tournament, The Coliseum, over at Las Vegas in a few months. A lot of entrants, freestyle, I think snatching a first place there would be a perfect crown jewel for your career.”

“And you tried persuading me by subtly implying that I’m slowly nearing my zenith?”

“More or less.”

Unable to hold back anymore, Mikasa burst out laughing.

“You’re so bad at this!”

“Ye ye, giggle all you want. But what about the thing? You want to try it?”

“When is it?”

“In a few months.”

“All right then, give me some time to think about it. That okay?”

That was most likely the most he could get out of her right now.

“Fine.”, waving his hand at her, to show that she’s dismissed, Levi grumbled, “Get out of my office.”

Standing up, Mikasa stretched, throwing him a cheeky smile.

“Love you too brother. See you tomorrow.”

And with a click of the door, she was gone from the office. Turning towards the wall, Levi looked over the collection of the trophies there, mentally imagining how the cup of the Coliseum champion would look there. Very pretty, that was for sure. Time to earn it.

It felt like years, the time that Jean spent in this particular hotel suite, although realistically it was just a few months, but now, that period was coming to an end. A bag over his shoulder, he scanned the insides of the apartment for the last time, making sure that he didn’t forget anything, and with a last nod stepped out into the corridor, closing the door. Taking the elevator down, he walked over to the reception, to take care of the formalities, handing over his room keycard.

“We hope you enjoyed your stay, sir.”, said the receptionist in a monotone voice, mind probably wandering somewhere far away.

“Yes, I think I have.”, nodding at the man, who probably haven’t even noticed it, Jean allowed himself to smile, “Keep up the good work.”

The large glass door slid open without a sound, allowing Jean to walk out of the hotel and into the parking lot, eyes scanning the vehicles for that one he was looking for. There it was, a tiny Smart, with a woman perched on the hood, large sunglasses covering about half of her face. Hitch did push those glasses out of the way when he approached, blinking in surprise on Jean’s lack of real luggage.

“Just one bag?”, she asked, as if she was expecting him to pull out another one straight out of his ass or something.

“It’s enough.”, Jean shrugged, “Not like I could fit more bags into that tiny little car of yours.”

“Hey, don’t you badmouth Freud.”

“Freud? You named that monster?”

“Of course.”, she looked downright proud of that nickname, running a loving hand over the hood, “Me and my baby here have been through a lot, he deserves a name.”

Not really in a mood to argue about car names, Jean just shook his head and squeezed himself on the shotgun seat, the only one apart from the driver’s, while Hitch took her place behind the wheel. It was nice of her to taxi him to and from the hotel, as Jean didn’t have a car himself, well, he did, but it was back home, not here. The journey to his new place of stay, Hitch’s flat, was silent, filled with some pop music and her singing along, giving him a new information about his future roommate. Hitch is a great girl, but she’s definitely no singer. Reaching their destination, they climbed a few sets of stairs, and finally, here it was. Unlocking the door and pushing them open, Hitch waltzed in, falling down on the couch and kicking off her shoes. Long day.

“What do you think about my kingdom?”, she called at Jean, who followed her at a bit of a more careful pace.

The place was small, messy, but other than that, it was definitely an upgrade from a hotel suite. All-in-all, Jean was more than satisfied.

“It’s pretty.”, he said, coming over to where she was lying, looking down at her.

“Can you tell me where the guest room is? So I can dump my stuff?”

“Guest room?”, she snorted, “There’s no guest room.”

“But… where will I stay?”

She spread her hands.

“Everywhere.”

“And sleep?”

“Isn’t that obvious? In the bed.”, she winked at him, “With me. Unless you prefer this couch.”

From his experience, Jean already knew that Hitch’s bed was comfortable enough to sleep in, all things considered. Much better than a couch.

“I think the bed is okay.”

“Great, go put your stuff in the bedroom then. But don’t touch my clothes!”, she called after him, as he was leaving to fulfill her order and settle himself in his new home.

The unpacking didn’t take Jean long, as he didn’t have much stuff to begin with, so after a few minutes he was back, sitting down next to Hitch who was flipping through the channels absent mindedly.

“So…. What do we do now?”, he asked, watching her turn towards him with a raised eyebrow.

“What, you missing something?”

“Nah, but I just feel that we should, dunno, get to know each other better, since we’ll be living together.”

“Know each other…,”, she repeated after him, thinking.

Then, as a thought apparently struck her, she turned the Tv off and grinned.

“Fine, let’s do some Q&A!”

That did sound like a good idea, as even with the fact that they were meeting regularly over the last few months, Jean honestly didn’t know much about her. But before he could start, she jumped up, moved over to the fridge, and a bit of rummaging later she was back, bottle of wine and two glasses in her hands.

“I thought that you didn’t drink.”, he pointed out, watching her pour.

“I don’t get drunk.”, she corrected him, “I do like the taste of wine, but I don’t overindulge.”

“Smart.”

“I know, right?”

Handing one glass over to Jean, she took the other, putting her feet up on the couch and motioning for him to begin.

“Let’s get started then.”

He learned a lot that evening. As the night slowly progressed, and the amount of wine in the bottle decreased, they talked, about their pasts mostly, their families, everything that came to mind. Hitch wanted to know how the hell he could just pack up and leave his state like that, coming here, and Jean told her that as long as he has his notebook and an internet connection, he can work from anywhere.

“I’ve reached the level of management where all I have to do is send out e-mails to my underlings, and things happen.”, Jean wouldn’t deny that he felt a pang of pride, laying it out like this. It did take him many years in the same company to reach this high, but now that he had it, he wouldn’t trade it for anything.

Hitch saluted him with her glass.

“Convenient.”

He tapped her glass with his own.

“Very.”

Later, when the bottle emptied, Hitch was left staring into the remnants of the wine on the bottom, strangely melancholic for a change. She wasn’t drunk, but she was a bit tipsy, and in need to talk about something serious for a change, something real.

“Say, is there something you regret in your life?”, she asked, keeping her eyes on the amber liquid.

“Something I regret?”, Jean repeated, taken aback by the turn this so far rather light-hearted conversation just suffered. And he had something, a mistake in the past, one that he didn’t usually share with anyone. But watching Hitch, seeing her circle the last drops of the drink, there was just a pull inside him, inside the heart, to just go ahead and share it, a voice that told him that she will appreciate it, that she will understand.

“There is something.”, Jean took a deep breath, and continued, “I had a friend, back in high school, very good one. His name was Marco. We did a lot of things together, you know, the classic, we were basically blood brothers at one point. But, as it usually goes, something went wrong.”

“What happened?”, Hitch whispered, eyes trained on Jean’s face.

“His little brother died.”, he shook his head, the memories stinging, even after all these years, “It broke Marco’s family apart. His parents divorced, and anytime I talked with him after the incident, it just felt like… felt like half of him was missing, you know, that Marco wasn’t really there anymore.”, face twisting into a grimace, he continued, “And I didn’t give him time to heal. I didn’t support him through these trying times. Instead, as the asshole I was, I just stopped being his friend, because he was no longer fun to be around.”

“You were a teenager…”, she whispered softly, but Jean shook his head.

“Doesn’t excuse me. I should have been there for him, have a little empathy. Instead, I never talked to him again. Hell, I don’t even know if he’s alive now!”, a bitter laugh left his mouth, “Here, you wanted to know something I regret? This is it.”

Reaching out, Hitch put a hand on his shoulder, squeezing it lightly.

“Thank you for telling me. I appreciate it.”

They fell silent for a time, with the moonlight giving the room an eerie feeling, illuminating the scenery.

“I think that now is my turn to share.”, said Hitch, making Jean look up.

“My regret doesn’t come from high school, but college. I met a guy there, Marlowe, we clicked, and before I knew it, he was my boyfriend.”

“Damn, he must have been quite a catch.”

“He was funny, great to talk to, overall an amazing person to be around. And everything was great, until one day he met some off-duty soldiers at a bar.”, now it was her turn to dig out painful memories, and she didn’t like that feeling one bit. Yet, she pushed on. “They talked, and somehow managed to push the idea that serving your country is the greatest thing in the world. Week later, and Marlowe was joining the army. We tried to keep in touch, although it wasn’t working very well, with my studies and his training, but we still didn’t break up. And then, out of nowhere, he told me that he was getting deployed, leaving the country.”, she took a shuddering breath, “I begged him not to go, to stay here, with me, but he wouldn’t listen. Said that it was his patriotic duty. That I was worrying about nothing, that he would be okay. When he left, he promised to take me out for a dinner after. And when he returned,”, clenching her teeth, Hitch forced the words out, “when he returned, it was in a body bag. A stray bullet, they said, something that shouldn’t have happened. But it did, and he’s gone. Forever.”

Now it was Jean’s turn to offer his condolences.

“That’s terrible, I’m so sorry.”

“And the thing that I regret? That I didn’t manage to convince him to stay. That I couldn’t make him listen. Because if I did, he would still be alive.”

Out of words to say, Jean just kept his hand on her arm, doing his best to offer as much of a silent support as he could.

“Do you want to talk about it?”, he asked, but Hitch shook her head, resolutely.

“I said everything that I wanted to say.”

Drying her eyes, she stood up, taking Jean’s hand and pulling him to his feet.

“I’m tired.”, she said, a certain longing in her eyes, “Let’s go to bed.”

It would seem that her way of coping with what happened was a physical one, but if it was a way to help, Jean was more than willing to go along with it. Following her to the bedroom, he wondered just how many secrets does this girl carry inside her, and if she will ever let him share the burden.

For now, all he could do was wait, and hope.

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Audrey Hepburn: The Secret WW2 History of a Dutch Resistance Spy

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In stories of doomed World War II gallantry, little is as romanticized as Operation Market Garden. A technical failure by the Allied Powers to defeat the Nazis in 1944, this invasion of the Netherlands left British paratroopers stranded around a bridge in Arnhem, far too removed from their tanks to hold the line. Nevertheless, the bravery of those Airborne “Red Devils” has lived on in pop culture, as have the Dutch resistance fighters who sheltered them. What has been largely forgotten is that among those courageous souls was… a teenaged Audrey Hepburn? For about a week, in fact, the future movie star kept a Red Devil hidden in the cellar.

This image, of wartorn tenacity, is hardly the type associated with Hepburn in the popular imagination. To this day, she’s remembered as the ultimate Givenchy girl, an ethereal presence who took her breakfasts at Tiffany’s, and always in a little black dress. Even when she was heartbreaking on screen, she was luminous—a woman who appeared to glide through a charmed, effervescent life.

That illusion had little to do with the real-life fires which forged her identity, or the experiences of a Second World War spent almost entirely under Nazi occupation. In the autumn of 1944, she and her family kept a British paratrooper in their basement, the latest act in a series of defiances (after initial appeasement). By the following winter, they too would be living down there, wary to even crawl out of “bed” as the bombs fell on their small Dutch village of Velp.

Remarkably, much of that story’s been omitted from history, not to mention the books written about Hepburn and mid-20th century Hollywood. Not until the recent publication of biographer Robert Matzen’s Dutch Girl: Audrey Hepburn and World War II did the Hepburn family lore about the Red Devil even become public knowledge. But then not many were asking.

“I was researching my book on Jimmy Stewart in the Eighth Air Force, and I was in Arnhem, in the Netherlands, and saw a couple of things about Audrey Hepburn spending the war there,” Matzen tells us. “And I thought, ‘Well, that’s very interesting.’ So when I came back here, I was poking around on the internet, trying to find things about that, investigating what happened to her during the war in Arnhem, and I couldn’t find anything. It had not been well-documented.” That’s now changed.

Audrey sits in the hilly Sonsbeek section of Arnhem in February 1942. Courtesy of Robert Matzen / Audrey Hepburn Estate Collection

Why Audrey Hepburn’s Past Stayed Hidden

Throughout the decades, biographers who wrote about Hepburn used what little she would tell the press of her childhood for background—about the horror of the day the Nazis arrived in the Netherlands, destroying a bridge she’d recently crossed, and the elation that came on the April morning when Canadian forces liberated Velp (it was the first time Audrey had a cigarette)—but other than the general knowledge that depravations in the “Hunger Winter” contributed to Hepburn’s thin frame, the events of World War II have gone largely overlooked. This included Hepburn’s contributions to the Dutch resistance as a message courier for downed British pilots, as well as the less romantic fact that while studying to be a ballerina in the early years of the occupation, she danced for fascists.

There are many reasons these details became lost, but most of them have to do with Hepburn’s own personal choice of what to share from those harrowing days.

“She would say certain things that were not controversial, and I mined every single word of hers about the war,” Matzen says. “But she wouldn’t go to certain places, because they were controversial. She spent the war in Arnhem, which is occupied by the Nazis, and she was a ballerina who danced, at times, for the Nazis. It wasn’t that she supported the Germans at all, but if you wanted to dance in public, there were going to be Germans in the audience. After the war, how do you justify that in the press? It could easily be spun.”

Perhaps, more importantly, there was the uncomfortable fact of her parents’ politics prior to the invasion.

Says Matzen, “Her mother and father were pro-German, pro-Nazi supporters up to and through the invasion of the Netherlands. Audrey could never reconcile herself to what her parents represented. It was her darkest secret, really, one that could contaminate the press about her. It could contaminate her career and kill it.”

That knowledge—as well as a lifelong modesty bred into her about never boasting or complaining—caused her to omit those sordid details, as well as stories of her dancing later in private gatherings to raise funds to hide and feed Jewish neighbors as the Holocaust marched on. Both aspects of her youth, her parents’ mistakes and her family’s later resistance, have thus become greatly diminished.

Her parents were indeed fascist sympathizers, with Matzen even calling Audrey’s mother, Ella van Heemstra, a fangirl and “Hitler-chaser” who managed to meet the Fuhrer face-to-face in the Nazis’ Munich headquarters in 1935. Not that Audrey was aware of any of this. In ‘35, Audrey (or Adriaantje as her family then called her) was six-years-old. A year later, the Brussels-born child would be sent to a boarding school in Kent, England, away from both parents. The only meaningful interaction she really had with her father was when he drove her to the last proverbial plane out of Britain before the war started. It was December 1939, and Audrey was a shy 10-year-old who didn’t speak Dutch. After arriving in Amsterdam, her mother had one immediate command: “Now be Dutch.”

The Execution of Uncle Otto

In those early years, what brought Audrey out of her shell were dance lessons; and what brought her mother back to reality was being around her decidedly anti-fascist family, including her father the Baron Aarnoud van Heemstra, and her brother-in-law, Otto Ernst Gelder van Limburg Stirum. In fact, it was the fate of Otto which became a turning point for the entire family, not to mention Holland. Because when Uncle Otto, along with four other Dutchmen from prominent backgrounds, was driven to a forest and executed in a shallow grave, the Germans provoked the exact opposite reaction they intended: mass resistance.

It was April 17, 1942 when Otto was lined up before a firing squad. Audrey was 12.

“Otto van Limburg Stirum was a mysterious character that I had to go find out about, because he was lost to history, and he was lost to Audrey’s history,” Matzen says. “She would talk about this uncle who was shot, this uncle who was a judge, but he was really [more] like an assistant DA. The fact that she would not talk about him at all, except to say ‘my uncle was shot’ really strikes me as proof of how significant he was in her life as a father figure, because her father was gone. She had two replacement fathers, Uncle Otto, and her grandfather, the Baron. Suddenly, Otto is taken away. He’s imprisoned by the Germans and sort of held hostage in case something bad happened.”

When a then-fledgling resistance did invariably do something bad from the Germans’ perspective, Otto and other figures with anti-fascist sympathies were executed.

Says Matzen, “It was a national event, and I think it was highly traumatic for the core members of the van Heemstra family, of which Audrey was a member, and something that deeply affected her, because once again, just like when her father left, now another father figure has been taken away, and it deepened her insecurity, a lifelong insecurity.”

Matzen also describes it as the final straw for Ella van Heemstra’s fascist sympathies.

“She had already become disillusioned by 1942,” Matzen says, “but even as late as the holidays in 1941, she was still staging pro-German events in Arnhem. But when Otto was shot, Ella took Audrey and moved in with Otto’s wife, who was Ella’s sister, Meisje, in Velp… Meisje and Otto were supposed to move in with their grandfather. Otto never actually got to move there because he was arrested and detained, right before that. The house always felt empty because of this.”

Resistance

The war crime that left Aunt Meisje a widow also forced the van Heemstras to be more active in resisting their occupiers. Audrey would speak, on brief occasions, about dancing for the Dutch resistance and raising funds that contributed to sabotaging German operations. What she didn’t talk about was her acting as personal assistant and gopher to the local doctor who organized the operations. Indeed, one of the most intriguing elements of Dutch Girl is how Matzen does what the Nazis never could: reconstruct the resistance network in Velp and the larger Arnhem area.

“I was sitting with some contemporaries of Audrey’s,” Matzens says of his time on the ground in Velp, “and they were young girls during the war. In one case, one of the daughters of this man, who turned out to be the resistance leader [Dr. Hendrik Visser ‘t Hooft], was just a year younger than Audrey… and they casually mention, ‘Oh yeah, our father, the doctor, was the resistance leader in the town, and he used to say, ‘Oh, Audrey was my assistant.’ I almost spit out my lunch.”

Dr. Visser ‘t Hooft, was an enigmatic figure, brazen enough to personally steal a German officer’s motorcycle and talk his way out of it, and also shrewdly adept at rallying all the family doctors in the region into his underground efforts. Visser ‘t Hooft knew medical experts were a precious commodity in wartime, even to Nazi occupiers, just as he knew the Germans paid children no mind.

“The Dutch were crafty enough that they gave the children the messages to run from house to house,” Matzen says. “They gave children supplies, medicine, to take here, to take there. Audrey in particular was running messages and food to downed pilots, because Audrey had spent years in England and when she comes back she’s fluent in English, whereas the other children are not, generally.”

Throughout the war, Audrey would have a series of run-ins with fighters on both sides of the conflict. Some were positive, such as the time a German soldier shoved her under a tank in Velp as a British plane opened fire on the street, killing Germans and civilians alike. It saved Audrey’s life. But others were less ambiguous, such as when she was nearly captured by the German green police and dragged to Germany (a fate her brother did not escape).

“In retaliation for another act of resistance, Audrey was [randomly] rounded up with other girls, to be taken to Germany, to work in kitchens,” says Matzen. “She escaped from that and basically went into hiding after that, because it was too dangerous out on the street.”

Audrey at 13 in 1943. Courtesy of Robert Matzen / Audrey Hepburn Estate Collection

Liberation

By the time German V7 rockets were malfunctioning over Holland and falling from the sky on civilians, or Allied planes passed overhead with itchy trigger fingers, the van Heemstra family was in the same cellar that once housed their Red Devil guest. And slowly, Audrey began to starve. After what was left of their food was depleted, they ate tulip bulbs. When those were gone, they ate the weeds. Like so many Dutch children in this period, Audrey became anemic and edema set in.

The depravations would haunt Audrey the rest of her days, informing her svelte frame and, Matzen argues, possibly her early death from appendiceal cancer. Despite these hardships, she nor many other children living under occupation forgot the jubilation they felt for the Allies, even as stray bombs fell.

“That battle destroyed Central Arnhem, it destroyed the dance studio where she danced, it destroyed relatives’ home, it was a devastating battle,” Matzen says. “But it didn’t matter, because those were the liberators. They were the knights in shining armor, who came to free the Dutch…. and it was the Canadians who liberated Velp, and it was just pandemonium. They saved so many lives by bringing food, bringing relief.”

Given the recent need for historical reexamination of all war efforts, including the Allies, it might surprise some that the same Dutch girl who needed to be pushed under a German tank to avoid British air fire would delight in eating Canadian chocolate until she threw up. But modern eyes didn’t live through an occupation.

“I think history has lost the intensity of that experience, just because of time,” Matzen says. “Time heals all wounds, and we move on. But I thought it was important in the book to reconstruct what they went through, using diaries… It was such a vivid all-encompassing experience that if you talk to these people today, those who lived through it, their memories are undimmed.”

Audrey’s never were.

Audrey meets Fritzi and Otto Frank, the father of Anne Frank, in 1957. Courtesy of Robert Matzen / Anne Frank House

A Roman Holiday After the War

To Hepburn, Hollywood stardom was a fortuitous turn of events, almost a consolation prize for a dance career that never materialized after the war’s hardships derailed her plans and training. Luca Dotti, Hepburn’s second son by as many marriages, even related to Matzen that when his mother wished to impart wisdom to her children, it was always via the experiences she suffered through during the war—never her brief, glamorous Hollywood career. Yet some argue, including Matzen, that the role which brought her to Hollywood and made her an international star was directly informed by those wartime experiences.

Roman Holiday (1953), Hepburn’s first American movie for which she’d go on to win the Oscar, is very much a postwar fairy tale in which a beguiling princess named Ann goes rogue during a trip to Italy, escaping her royal escort and spending a whirlwind 24 hours in the still ravaged Italian capital. A sheltered princess who’s never lived without personal servants seems a far cry removed from the girl starving in a cellar, but they’re one in the same to her biographer.

Says Matzen, “Audrey does come from an aristocratic background, and she brought that to the princess role. But she was also at that time a young girl and, in some ways, very immature and sheltered from the world because of her upbringing and because of her focus on dance at the expense of really her social development. She was all about dance, then she was stuck in her cellar… so in those ways, she really was very Princess Ann-like when Ann escapes from the palace and starts to explore Rome. She’s a babe in the woods, just like Audrey was.”

He adds, “That ingenuous quality of Ann that Audrey brought to it made that performance so real, because Audrey didn’t have formal acting training at all, really. [She was] acting on instinct and bringing her own life experience to the part.”

It would also be the closest her on screen persona came to the war. Hepburn played a variety of women in her short career, from the ultimate good time girl Holly Golightly of Breakfast at Tiffany’s to the cockney Eliza Doolittle of My Fair Lady. But she never made World War II dramas. Most remarkably, she even reluctantly turned down Otto Frank, the father of Anne Frank who personally wanted to meet with Hepburn in the 1950s to play his daughter on screen. Audrey related too much to the fellow Dutch girl, who was murdered in a Nazi concentration camp for her Jewish heritage, to ever be able to “play” Anne. It was a story Audrey had been deeply affected by well before Roman Holiday, too.

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“After the war, Audrey and her mother moved to Amsterdam so Audrey could resume her dance career,” Matzen says. “And they happened to move into an apartment [where] below them lived the editor who was working on Anne Frank’s Diary. And this editor knew of Audrey’s experiences, love of dance, how she had been caught by the green police at one point and said, ‘You know what? This story might really interest you.’ So Audrey read the galleys for the Frank diary before it was published.” It destroyed her.

“This girl was born six weeks after Audrey. Anne Frank came from Frankfurt, Germany; Audrey came from Brussels, Belgium. They both became Dutch girls, and they spent the war 60 miles apart in the Netherlands. They shared the same war being under occupation and fearing the Germans every day. Of course Anne Frank’s diary stops in the beginning of August 1944… Audrey survived, and she didn’t use the word ‘survivor’s guilt’ but she felt it.”

Hepburn politely refused Anne’s father. Hepburn never wanted to make money off the story. In fact, she didn’t openly discuss her kinship with the material until years after her Hollywood career as a UNICEF goodwill ambassador. The new duties allowed Hepburn to do public readings of Anne Frank’s Diary at galas—and also travel into war-torn countries and raise awareness for starving children: a horror Hepburn knew too much about from her own youth.

The Princess and the Warrior

That story of Hepburn as the late-in-life UNICEF work is also the subject of Matzen’s next book, Warrior. And it was Hepburn’s son, Luca Dotti, who convinced him to write it.

“Luca said, ‘When UNICEF signed my mother they thought they were going to get a pretty princess to raise money at galas,’” Matzen recalls. “‘And what they really got was a badass soldier.’ I then got goosebumps.”

The images from Hepburn’s time in UNICEF were those of her in impoverished regions holding starving children. However, what was not shown were the struggles getting to these places, or the war zones she had to evade.

“The first night she spent in Ethiopia was in a hotel in a city under siege,” Matzen says. “There was no running water in the hotel. It had been knocked out by bombs. The only way she was safe with her contingent was because there were armed guards all around the lobby of the hotel. That’s not what you think about with Audrey.”

Indeed, much like her experiences with her own war in the 1940s, it’s a million miles away from the Hollywood fashion icon. Perhaps though the inability to fully reconcile these two sides of Audrey—the princess and what Matzen calls the warrior—is what informed a screen presence unlike any other.

“She was kind of a chameleon, which I find very interesting, because I don’t understand it in some ways,” Matzen says. “She went straight from Quito, Ecuador where she had just been in this incredibly poverty-ridden situation, straight to a Givenchy retrospective in Los Angeles where her dress was brought in by taxi with an hour to spare. Then she all of a sudden would be the princess again.”

When someone asked at the event how she could go from one world to the other, she responded, “I don’t consider it two different worlds. It’s all my life.”

Now fans are at last seeing the whole picture.

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