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foreverrandomwritings · 11 months

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Leah Clearwater with Imprint- Headcanon

Summary:This is a headcanon of Leah Clearwater having an imprint. I love this misunderstood wolf so fucking much.

Pairing: Leah Clearwater x afab!Reader

Warnings: Death, swear words, smut at the end MINORS DNI 18+ ONLY!!

Word count:903 (I really love her okay?)

Masterlist M’s PMC Masterlist

~It had been both surprising and unsurprising when Leah imprinted on a woman.

~Surprising because they didn’t realize that female wolves could imprint(even though they didn’t really have any knowledge in the female wolf thing anyhow)

~It’s unsurprising however because they had all imprinted on women and had never heard of a wolf imprinting on a guy before.

~She imprinted on you after you had gotten done telling off a couple guys for being inappropriate with a group of high school girls at the diner you worked at.

~You had kicked the guys out, made sure the girls were okay then turned around to tell her she could sit where she likes when you made eye contact and your life completely changed for the better.

~Leah had been ecstatic to finally have an imprint.

~She does hesitate to tell you that she's a werewolf and that vampires exist.

~She’s terrified of something happening to you if she involves you in her life.

~But when she does tell you you are completely understanding why she hesitated.

~You never give her any shit or grief or anything about her having to stay out late and patrol.

~You actually make sure to schedule meetings in good spots while she’s patrolling so you can give her dinner or lunch or sometimes breakfast.

~She is extremely reluctant to bring you around the guys, other than Seth of course.

~You and her younger brother get along like two peas in a pod.

~It makes Leah extremely happy to have someone care for Seth as deeply as she does.

~You always make sure he is fed as well and that he isn’t overworked with patrols.

~When she does bring you around the guys, you are tough as nails.

~They try to make fun of Leah for the fact she was so pouty after Sam left her for her cousin. You fly right off the handle.

~Seth and Leah have had to hold you back from physically attacking Paul and Jared for their words.

~You also absolutely obliterated Sam and Emily one night, giving them a really long lecture about how much they truly hurt her and they apologized to her profusely.

~She had never had anyone in her life stick up for her the way you did.

~The love she held for you showed in every look your way, or the sparkle in her eyes when your name was mentioned.

~She had always hoped to have the heartache of Sam and Emily patched up and you did just the trick.

~You were unwaveringly patient with her even if you were her imprint she was still scared of another heartbreak.

~You guys moved in with each other pretty quickly. Finding a small two bedroom apartment.

~The thought of not living together made you both sick so it made the most sense.

~Though separate bedrooms quickly turn into one.

~She enjoyed having you wrapped up in her arms too much while she slept.

~You enjoyed being wrapped up in her scent while she was gone too much to stay away from her bed.

~You also were one of the only things that soothed her nightmares away.

~Whether they be of her fathers death, the eclipse battle or what could have happened in the breaking dawn confrontation.

~You reassure her everyday that you will never love anyone the way you love her.

~You reassure her in the way you kiss her, slowly and passionately letting all unspoken words slip between your lips between her own.

~You reassure her with the way you start a shower for her when you hear her slip through the front door.

~You reassure her with the way you always have her favorite snacks stocked in your pantry, your bag and your car.

~You reassure her in the way you stop by and talk to Sue on a daily basis.

~She reassures you of her love with the way she throws your towel in the dryer so it’ll be nice and warm after your shower.

~She reassures you in the way that she hums your favorite songs while she’s doing chores around the apartment.

~She reassures you with the way she takes you to some of her favorite spots she’s found during patrols.

~She reassures you with her intimacy and vulnerability.

~She loves cuddling with you, she’s always the big spoon, she loves the way you hold her hand and wrap it around your middle or lay it on your chest right over your heart.

~Or she likes when you lay your head on her chest above her heart and tangle your legs within hers.

~She likes when you braid her hair for her. She also enjoys braiding yours in return.

~She's obsessed with the way you always seem cold without her. You’ll be wrapped up in 4 blankets, have on fleece pants and a hoodie with fuzzy socks and still somehow be freezing but then she wraps you up in her arms and you are perfectly content.

~When you guys have sex it’s pretty much always soft. She is terrified of going overboard and hurting you.

~However if you liked it a little rough she would indulge you a little.

~She keeps her thoughts of you very very private. She does not want the guys to see you in an inappropriate way.

~Overall this woman loves and worships you undeniably.

~I am desperate to be her imprint.

A/N: I am a complete sucker for this gorgeous woman.

Tags(open): @wkndwlff @sylviebell @dingusteveharrington

#m's pride month celebration #leah clearwater headcanon #leah clearwater x reader #leah clearwater #twilight headcanon #twilight #new moon #eclipse #breaking dawn

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lastchancestardomm · 19 days

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TF2 Mercs Headcanons

That's it. That's the post. A long-ass post about my headcanons for the Mercs + Miss Pauling. Just a brain splurge, if anything, so cringe warning.

Also, FYI, Miss Pauling's segment might be shorter than the rest. I admit I don't have as many ideas for her.

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Scout

~ His full name is Jeremy Elbertson-René.

~ He is 23 and 5'10.

~ He was born in Boston, Massachusetts. He grew up in the Quincy area, mainly surrounded by his seven older brothers and ma.

~ As a child, he was in little league baseball.

~ Most definitely has ADHD.

~ Pansexual (Bisexual this, gay that; where's the frying pan in this equation?? Not only is it a reference to a joke, but also ironic).

~ Most of his older brothers became unkempt once they graduated, and some of the younger ones started to smoke; to push boundaries, or something. On the Quincy street corners, they could be spotted huddled together like estranged raccoons.

~ He has a rocky relationship with his oldest brother. The two rarely saw each other. Despite all the teasing and bullying he faced for being a runt, he loves his brothers. But him and his oldest haven't talked in a long while.

~ His ma loves him like no other. The Youngest Child Syndrome is very strong with him. Nowadays, he still gets letters all the way from Boston with cheesy nicknames and hearts drawn all over them from his ma, which he loves despite how much it embarrasses him.

~ Ticklish.

~ Hopped up on caffeine, he somehow biked all the way from Quincy, Boston, to New Mexico before unceremoniously collapsing on the side of the street to take a three-day nap, just to take the job of a Mercenary. He hates mentioning this, for some reason. Is it the "collapsing on the side of the street" part?

~ He can read at about a 2nd-Grade level. Any sentence more complex than "The cat chases the bird" will look like a foreign language to him.

~ He only took the job because bashing heads in in exchange for cash sounded incredibly amusing and fun to him. Other than getting into street fights as a kid, he has no real qualifications.

~ He stims quite a lot. He wrings his hands, bounces his leg, if he has access to gum he tends to chew the whole pack at once for the texture; and as he usually has a spare baseball on hand, he'll toss into the air and catch it or bounce it against a wall.

Soldier

~ His full name is Johnathan Harold Doe. After an incident, and thanks to outside hands, he now goes under the alias Jane Doe.

~ He is 44 and 5'11.

~ He was born in South Dakota.

~ Even as a child, he was extremely patriotic for America, despite his classmates jeers. He became very familiar with the dean's office.

~ He was raised in an extremely conservative household, and was taught to tote guns at a young age.

~ Had a terrible father.

~ For his teenage years and young adulthood, he spent most of his time in military camps and other youth academies, where he has seen and done some things he'd rather forget.

~ At the height of World War 2, he had attempted to join the army, but was rejected by every branch of the U.S Military. In a burning state of defiance, he bought himself a ticket to Poland and started blasting villages his gut told him were Nazi-owned, only returning in 1949. He is now a war-criminal in all of Europe.

~ He paces often; when and when he's not talking, when he's bored, or simply to stim. At first, it was somewhat stress-inducing for the rest of the Mercs; waking up to see him marching up and down the hallway and such at night.

~ The only way he can sleep at the base is if there's a fan on. If there is not a fan on, he will lay stock-still but never sleep.

~ Has an incredible sweet tooth. The only other way to convince this stubborn man to do anything other than to exclaim it's for America, is to lure him in with candy or pastries.

~ He created his own rocket launcher. He's a tad nutty, but he can be damn smart when need be.

~ He can read, though whatever note it is must be drenched with military jargon. The same goes for his writing; broken grammar and inappropriate use of military slang.

Pyro

~ He shed his full name and goes by only Pyro.

~ He is 32 and 5'9.

~ He was born in Italy. (I got this idea from the fact Italy is in the Ring Of Fire.)

~ Pyrovision is just for shits 'n giggles. It turns his favourite activity, burning people alive, into something ridiculous and silly that makes it all the more fun and enjoyable. He is sociopathic, but hides it surprisingly well under the guise of absurdity.

~ Autistic.

~ He was raised by his Nan after both of his parents died in a fire-related incident, caused by him. He accidentally set the drapes on fire, and then sat starry-eyed as he watched the flames spread. Before he knew it, he was on the curb, watching the smoldering ruins of his home crumble to the ground.

~ Despite much of his youth being bent over a chair and getting whacked with a wooden spoon, he loves his Nan like no other, and can be spotted calling her throughout the day.

~ Similarly to Scout, this full-grown child stims often; rocking back-and-forth, bumping his knees, fiddling with his own or another Mercs fingers, flicking a lighter on and off, ect ect. He especially has a certain hatred for textures; while he loves textured rubber to naw on or bend, things such as velvet fabric or Engineer's oil rags freak him out.

~ Even more ticklish than Scout.

~ A sweets-lover through and through, but he especially loves Italian pastries. They have an aftertaste of nostalgia and actually accidentally burning them when trying to bake them with his Nan that is irresistible.

~ The wiggliest sleeper ever. It's not that he's violent, it's that he goes to bed normally and ends up on the floor turned into a human pretzel when he wakes up.

~ He can't read, preferring another Merc to read to him.

~ As a man-child to the core, immature pranks are something to look out for if you stalk around the base at night.

~ His favourite movie is The Wizard of Oz (1939).

Demoman

~ His full name is Tavish Finnegan DeGroot.

~ He's is 44 and 6'1.

~ He was born in Ullapool, Scotland.

~ He rarely saw his father when he was young. His father is practically a fable to him.

~ Monoculus and him have a co-worker relationship. It's a wonder how he manages with the voice of his haunted eye narrating his life.

~ Where most children would want to become pilots or policemen, Tav wanted to kill the Loch Ness Monster. During his time as a Mercenary, he actually managed to. It's still one of his greatest achievements, he believes.

~ Him and Miss Pauling have a pretty close relationship, bonding over going to wine tastings.

~ He started to drink to cope with the death of his father, and impending doom of getting a job. During this time too, he also started to busk (perform music on the street in exchange for money), where he'd play the bagpipe.

~ Tav had two sets of adoptive parents. His first adoptive parents sent him away, as they were terrified of his nack for bomb-making. His second set were accidentally blown up while he was trying to craft Loch Ness Monster-killing explosives. He's kind of ashamed about what happened to his second set.

~ He has long, dark hair that is indeed greasy, but nonetheless he has developed a habit of twirling it or running his fingers through it.

~ In 1968, when he first met the others, he was the judgiest of all of them. He was almost hostile towards them, but he came around in the end.

~ He can read and write perfectly well, though his handwriting does tend to go all over the page, even with lines.

Heavy

~ His full name is Mikhail "Misha" Orlok.

~ He is 43 and 6'7.

~ He was born in Moscow, Russia. Though, his current residence is in the Dzhugdzhur Mountains in Siberia.

~ His father was a prominent Counter-revolutionary, and a loud voice against the Soviet rule. So, in 1941, he was shot dead during a Soviet raid. Following the traumatic event, his family was traced and imprisoned in a north Siberian gulag.

~ His family was trapped there for three months, when a fire had been started by other prisoners. In the chaos, Misha led his family to safety, despite the yelling and gunfire surrounding him.

~ It took two months for his TF Industries "For Hire" letter to reach him by sled dog, and he only agreed if he was allowed to send the paycheck to his family.

~ When he had met the others for the first time, while Demoman was the judgiest; he was the most secretive. In fact, even now, most don't know his full backstory.

~ Other than Engineer, those Mercenaries who seek someone to confide to will come to Misha. He is the group's best secret-keeper, after all.

~ He has a PhD in Russian Literature, and is the second-best Mercenary at math-related subjects.

~ His favorite film is The Dirty Dozen and first 20 minutes of Rocky IV. Other than that, he doesn't watch movies. He generally prefers books.

~ He can read and write Russian perfectly, maybe a bit too grandiose, but he can do it quite well. English is where he struggles, and English documents are nearly indecipherable.

Engineer

~ His full name is Dell Conagher.

~ He is 48 and 5'6.

~ He was born in Bee Cave, Texas.

~ Most of his childhood was spent working under the hot, Texan sun on his father's oil fields. Sometimes, he would manage to con his friends into helping him with the hard labor.

~ He was a troublemaker as a child and frighteningly creative, but he thankfully mellowed out as he got older. Dell has seen and done some crazy, mad, and downright absurd things in his youth.

~ He has Ophidiophobia; a fear of snakes.

~ Dell's father is the TFC Engineer, Fred.

~ He has 11 PhDs, and cut off his right hand to use the Gunslinger.

~ His mother and father loved him as a kid, despite his father being gone often for work and such. On the weekends, though, he'd get a heartfelt letter from his dad.

~ While he himself doesn't consider it a stim, Dell has a tendency to rearrange things to occupy himself. Ranging from simply moving something to another shelf, to completely flipping his workshop upside-down.

~ When he was twelve years old, him and his friends were dicking around at an old ranch. His comeuppance for the tomfoolery? Getting kicked by a horse, right in the jaw. He's a proud Texan, and will gladly jump onto a horse rodeo-style, he will look just a tad uneasy.

~ While another Mercenary is the designated "Mother-figure" to the rest, Engi is the designated "Father-figure" to them.

~ A teacher's pet. He was "A pleasure to have in class", despite attempting to teach the much younger kids, whom couldn't understand, calculus and possibly mouthing-off a teacher once or twice.

Medic

~ His full name is Ludwig Humböldt.

~ He is 45 and 6'0.

~ He was born in Rottenburg, Germany.

~ He is Jewish.

~ Autistic (Fighting the Eric Cartman "Three strikes, Kyle!" quote rn).

~ He came from a long line of both doctors and chemists, and the bulk of his medical knowledge came from reading his father's books.

~ While his mother and father loved him, though possibly weighing him down with high expectations, his classmates were the worst.

~ He was a crybaby and easy to annoy, which made him the target of many of his classmates pranks and jeers. It didn't help he had both glasses and braces, and was somewhat baby-faced in highschool.

~ From pails of water being dumped on his head, to having his things tarnished; he hated school in his youth. Still, he managed to scrape by, and successfully earned his medical license.

~ He ran a pharmacy for a while in Stuttgart, at least until Nazi soldiers had raided the establishment and taken him to unwillingly join the Nazi armadda.

~ During his time as a Nazi field medic, his sanity decreased substantially. At the end of the war, he retreated to Stuttgart. Between the end of the war and losing his medical license due to stealing a man's skeleton, he came in possession of some Prime Minister's wedding doves; giving him Archimedes and the rest of his dovery. He was going to preform experiments on them, but the birds somehow won his heart.

~ We all are familiar with Archimedes, his beloved second-in-command, but he has ten total doves. Euclid, the food-stealer; Eratosthenes, a talkative, perky one; Hippocrates, a charmingly dopey thing; Aristotle, flouncing about and prone to bullying the other doves; Thales, a kleptomaniac; Eudoxes, blind and as Archimedes is to Medic, Eudoxes is to Demoman; Galen, mischievous and a trouble-maker; Socrates, likely the eldest and loves cozying up in one's shirt; and Xenophanes, who is noisy, demanding, and prone to scratching and biting.

~ He's the designated "Mother-figure" to the Mercenaries; who'll heal their injuries and not mock them for whatever crazy or embarrassing way they got said injury. God, they drive him up the wall sometimes, but something's holding him back from snapping (most likely the fondness he has for the others, but don't tell him that; like Spy, he's trying to keep it a co-worker relationship).

Sniper

~ His full name is Michael "Mick"/"Mickey" Mundy. But his name also is Mun-Dee.

~ He is 27 and 6'1.

~ He was born in Dunedin, New Zealand– which is underwater, of course.

~ He spent his childhood in Adelaide, Australia; where he was picked on by other kids.

~ Plenty of jeers were thrown his way, by both adults and children, as he grew up. Everything from "beanpole" to his very own nickname of "Mick-Stick" he had memorized.

~ Most of his youth he spent high in trees, away from his bullies and teachers and other adults who would no doubt spit in his face and step on his achievements. As he got older, with pinpoint precision, he made rocks and sticks rain from the sky and onto his tormenters as their comeuppance.

~ His adoptive parents loved him, of course; and he loved them back, but they did not care for his blossoming profession. His father did actually teach him how to hunt, though, which probably didn't help.

~ As a teen, he took up a small gig as an animal exterminator. As a novice exterminator, he had faced giga-sized crocodiles and kangaroos twice his height. He'd stab mothballs onto the points of his arrows, and launch them into parks overrun by spiders and their webs. He'd pull gluttonous, bitey fish out of lakes with his bare hands. It was definitely much more fun than his current "extermination" gig.

~ He has a peculiar ability to crash like a wreck anywhere; simply getting too comfy leaning against a wall could cause him to start snoozing. On the other hand, any small noise will startle him awake, and prevent him from falling back to sleep for the next few hours.

~ The amber-tinted sunglasses he's iconic for actually are his dad's, which he keeps and continues to wear for sentimental reasons.

~ Every few years, the zit-faced mail boy brings him an algae-covered glass bottle with a wet letter inside, always starting with "My dearest son...". He always throws out the letters, because he knows what they contain isn't sincere.

Spy

~ His full name is Jacques bon René.

~ He is 43 and 5'11.

~ He was born in Marseille, France.

~ For a rather large portion of his life, he was a foster kid.

~ Most of his childhood was spent on trains going all around France, with a service worker holding his hand until they reached their desired destination. He doesn't remember how many homes, or other miscellaneous places, he has been to.

~ He used to be a prolific bookworm, and at each house he moved to, he would always be seen tucked away somewhere with his nose in a book. As his job became more intertwined with his life, though, downtime to pick up a book became scarce.

~ Adding onto that, he is one of the best to go to for book recommendations. While many of his most common recommendations are French literatures, he has read a fair few English books he can lend over.

~ He had to have been around sixteen or seventeen when he had ran away from what would become his final "real" home. All he can really recall is a rude exchange of words, and himself storming off in a huff; never to be seen again.

~ Beautiful emerald-green eyes.

~ He's... kind of made a vow to himself to never rejoin society again. He doesn't exist, and he pretends to like it that way. So, having a son frightened him; and he ran away, fulfilling other contracts until he either died or forgot about it. Neither happened. So each time he sees Scout, there's still some lingering guilt.

~ Medic is not the only Mercenary in ownership of a feathered companion; as Spy owns a very spoiled, somewhat creepy raven known as Sophocles. The black bird stalks around his owner's smoking room like a shadow, but retreats to a golden cage to sleep in at night.

Miss Pauling

~ Her full name is Faith Pauling.

~ She's 22 and 5'8.

~ She was born in Bristol, England.

~ Ever since arriving in the States, she's managed to hide her accent very well. Only a few who've either caught her early in the morning, or are the Mercenaries, have heard her real voice.

~ Lots of her childhood is completely voided in her memory, and with how busy she's kept by The Administrator– her life, to her, is first being born and then working under The Administrator. She hardly has a minute in her schedule to think about her past, and I don't believe she'd care about it if she did.

~ She's forgotten her past for good reason, as it wasn't the prettiest or kindest childhood one could have.

~ For brevity's sake, we can just say that she was shipped off to The Administrator's at twelve years old for her own family's greedy ideals.

~ Lesbian (I can't stop thinking about the moment in the comics where she foregoes joining Scout in getting to safety just to oggle at naked Zhanna).

~ Miss Pauling no longer has any official personal records. She legally doesn't exist nor is remembered by anyone who has once known her; similarly to Spy.

~ She has a variety of small ways to keep herself occupied; fiddling with a pen, whistling or making clicking sounds, tenting her thumbs, and notably, organizing things. Unlike Engineer, she simply tidies things up to pass the time rather than fully rearrange a room.

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gardenschedule · 1 month

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Perceptions of Paul as calculating & John's paranoia

“McCartney’s mistake, which he now admits, was to seem invulnerable. […] And yet, he says, the contrast between himself and Lennon, so assiduously cultivated by journalists, was a fabrication. “I wasn’t brilliant at school. I was trouble, just like John. I got caned practically every day, and the only exam I ever passed was Spanish. John and I weren’t black and white, although people took John, for all his aggression, to be the good guy, because he showed his warts. I’ve only just realized, after all this time, that people like to see warts. It makes them sympathetic. I’d always though that, in order to be liked, you had to be unwarty.””

Living with The Beatles’ legacy, the smears that Lennon left behind… and the battle to win my babies back, The Times Newspaper, Monday January 4, 1982.

Paul was the easiest to talk to. He had such energy and such keenness and, unlike John, enjoyed being liked, at least most of the time. I don't see this as a criticism; John himself could be very cruel about Paul's puppy dog eagerness to please. The irony was, and still is, that John's awfulness to people, his rudeness and cruelty, made people like him more, whereas Paul's genuine niceness made many people suspicious, accusing him of being calculating. Paul does look ahead, seeing what might happen, working out the effect of certain actions, but he often ends up tying himself in knots, not necessarily getting what he thought he wanted. I think there is some insecurity in Paul's nature, which makes him try so hard, work so hard. It also means he can be easily hurt by criticism, which was something that just washed over John.

Hunter Davies, Western Mail: The Beatles. (April 9th, 2004)

Even Paul’s immaculate manners could not thaw her. ‘Oh, yes, he was well-mannered–too well-mannered. He was what we call in Liverpool “talking posh” and I thought he was taking the mickey out of me. I thought “He’s a snake-charmer all right,” John’s little friend, Mr Charming. I wasn’t falling for it. After he’d gone, I said to John, “What are you doing with him? He’s younger than you… and he’s from Speke!”’ After that, when Paul appeared, she would always tell John sarcastically that his ‘little friend’ was here. ‘I used to tease John by saying “chalk and cheese”, meaning how different they were,’ she remembered, ‘and John would start hurling himself around the room like a wild dervish shouting “Chalkandcheese! Chalkandcheese!” with this stupid grin on his face.’

Philip Norman, Paul McCartney: The Life. (2016)

“He always suspected me. He accused me of scheming to buy over Northern Songs without telling him. I was thinking of something to invest in, and Peter Brown said what about Northern Songs, invest in yourself, so I bought a few shares, about 1,000 I think. John went mad, suspecting some plot. Then he bought some himself. He was always thinking I was cunning and devious. That’s my reputation, someone who’s charming, but a clever lad. “It happened the other day at Ringo’s wedding. I was saying to Cilia [Black] that I liked Bobby [her husband]. That’s all I said. Bobby’s a nice bloke. Ah, but what do you REALLY think Paul? You don’t mean that, do you, you’re getting at something? I was being absolutely straight. But she couldn’t believe it. No one ever does. They think I’m calculating all the time.

Paul and Hunter Davies, 1981

In the wake of his death you didn’t tour for most of the ‘80s. People suggested that you were scared to go on the road. Was that true? No. People speculate about anything. They always credit me with motives I haven’t even dreamed of. It’s interesting, the way they sort of perceive my life and analyse it for me. In that case, I never thought about touring much. People used to say, “Oh, it’s 10 years since you’ve toured.” I’d go, “Is it? Y’know, I’m not counting.” That’s all that was, really. I don’t know why. Maybe I didn’t fancy it.

The Q Interview, 2007

Astrid in Germany was always a bit suspicious of Paul at first, though his relationship with Stu was also bound up in this. 'It used to frighten me that someone could be so nice all the time. Which is silly. It's ridiculous to feel at home with nasty people, just because you feel that at least you know where you are with them. It's silly to be wary of nice people.'

The Beatles (Updated Edition) (Hunter Davies)

Paul is the easiest to get to know for an outsider, but in the end he is the hardest to get to know. There is a feeling that he is holding things back, that he is one jump ahead, aware of the impression he is giving. He is self-conscious, which the others are not. John doesn't care, either way, what people think. Ringo is too adult to think about such things, and George in many ways isn't conscious. He is above it all.

The Beatles (Updated Edition) (Hunter Davies)

Paul today is still the public Beatle, giving interviews at fairly regular intervals, being open and honest about himself and his past, his worries and his pleasures. Naturally, as ever, there are people who suspect his motives, putting him down for being too charming. Paul may be a bit of an actor, acting the part of Paul McCartney, the charming superstar, still loved by every mum, which can make him sound rather prissy at times, but I believe he does tell the truth about himself.

The Beatles (Updated Edition) (Hunter Davies)

“My problem is to me, I come over as this very together guy, always got his finger on top of everything: the man with no problems. School – a doddle, got all the exams. This is the sort of image of me. Actually, I had murder getting through exams, like I was saying about being on tour during my GCEs. I was like the kid who was getting the cane. Just like John was, but he [Phillip Norman] makes me the very shrewd, always-going-to-succeed guy, and John is the kind of cute, working-class hero. In actual fact though, John was just as shrewd and ambitious as I was. What does me in is he adds to this image I’ve got; I resent that, because I know I’m not that, and I know I’ve never been that.

Paul McCartney’s thoughts from 1983 on Phillip Norman’s ‘Shout!’

The funny thing is, when Apple [started], everything was laid out on the table, it’s like a Monopoly game. We saw who had what. I suddenly had more Northern Song shares than anybody, and it was like, oops, sorry. John was like, “You bastard, you’ve been buying behind my back.” John saw everything like a Harold Robbins movie, you know, which it was. He’s not incorrect. I couldn’t get over the fact that we were really involved in all this. I think to this day, he’ll not understand. I don’t think he would accept right now, my naïveté in it. I think he still suspects me of trying to take over Apple. He still suspects that when I offered the Eastmans as [managers] instead of Allen Klein, he naturally assumed that I would be taken care of better than the others, and that the Eastmans could never be moral enough to be equal in their judgment and do the Beatles’ thing rather than Paul’s thing. I think they still suspect to this day.

The point I was trying to illustrate is that it wasn’t so much John being a bastard as it was his being suspicious towards me, always being suspicious towards me. There was Northern Song shares. And I swear on any holy book you want, I know he won’t believe it, but I know for sure that I didn’t buy them with the view to— If I was really trying to do it, I could have bought an awful lot more. So it does hurt a little bit that there’s someone who still thinks, like, I’m out to get them, or that I always was. That’s one of the nice things about it— It’s a pity [I never said to John, “Fuck off, I’m not trying to do it”—and never was]. But he knows I was kind of— We were behind the scenes, and we did a few little [things] that we had to do, and our ambitions, and it was never a kind of terrifying skeletons in the closet. It was always just normal—but, uh, they …

All You Need Is Love – Peter Brown & Steven Gaines

SG: Were the other Beatles anti-Linda? PMcC: Uh, yeah. I should think so. Like we were anti-Yoko. But you know John and Yoko, you can see it now, the way to get their friendship is to do everything the way they require it. To do anything else is how to not get their friendship. This is still how it is with John and Yoko. I know that if I absolutely lie down on the ground and just do everything like they say and laugh at all their jokes and don’t expect my jokes to ever get laughed at, and don’t expect any of my opinions ever to carry any weight whatsoever, if I’m willing to do all that, then we can be friends. But if I have an opinion that differs from theirs, then I’m a sort of an enemy. And naturally, paint myself a villain with a big mustache on, because to the ends of the earth, that’s how they both see me. They’re very suspicious people [John and Yoko], and one of the things that hurt me out of the whole affair, was that we’d come all that way together, and out of either a fault in my character, or out of lack of understanding in their character, I’d still never managed to impress upon them that I wasn’t trying to screw them. I don’t think that I have to this day.

All You Need Is Love – Peter Brown & Steven Gaines

I was never out to screw him, never. He could be a maneuvering swine, which no one ever realized. Now since the death he’s became Martin Luther Lennon. But that really wasn’t him either. He wasn’t some sort of holy saint. He was still really a debunker. “For ten years together he took my songs apart. He was paranoiac about my songs. We have great screaming sessions about them.

Paul and Hunter Davies, 1981

SALEWICZ: Oh, he was presumably very paranoid. PAUL: I think so. I mean, he warned me off Yoko once. You know, “Look, this is my chick!” ’Cause he knew my reputation. I mean, we knew each other rather well. And um, I felt… I just said, “Yeah, no problem.” But I did sort of feel he ought to have known I wouldn’t, but. You know, he was going through “I’m just a jealous guy”. He was a paranoid guy. And he was into drugs. Heavy.

September, 1986 (MPL Communications, London)

Miles says, “I think Jane was always a bit irritated by John. Because he was so acerbic and difficult to get on with. And paranoid. He didn’t make life easy. I suppose it’s a sort of rapier wit, but it was usually just plain ordinary rudeness. There was nothing special about it.”

Paul McCartney profile for FAME Magazine (March 1990)

“They [Lennon & McCartney] saw each other again in 1977. The Lennons and McCartneys ate dinner together at Le Cirque, Paul’s favourite French restaurant in New York. John regretted going; it was a loathsome night. Paul and Linda blathered on and on about how perfect their lives were, how they had everything they’d ever wanted, and how they were as happy as they’d ever been. Something very paranoid suddenly occurred to John. Maybe Lorraine Boyle was spying on him for the McCartneys! He woke up the next morning still feeling disturbed; he consulted the Oracle. Swan assured him that Paul and Linda were frustrated and unsatisfied. Their marriage was in trouble, he said, predicting it would break up within the year. Lately Swan’s visions had been astonishingly accurate. Relieved, John began composing a song—a little ditty, really, that would never be released—in praise of the Oracle’s powers. But he still couldn’t understand why Paul and Linda had been together for as long as they had. There appeared to be a psychic connection between John and Paul. Every time McCartney was in town, John would hear Paul’s music in his head.”

Robert Rosen, Nowhere Man: The Final Days of John Lennon, (2000)

JOHN: […..] And he’s (Jagger) goin’ on about “he never calls. Do you think he ever calls? He never calls me. And he keeps changing his phone number all the time… And he’s hiding behind the kid.” I was hurt by it! You know… The fact that… A, I never call anybody. It’s not pride, it’s just that I never, ever have. REPORTER: Why? JOHN: I never call the other Beatles, I never call anybody. They always call me. REPORTER: Why? JOHN: Cos I’m self-involved! I’m paranoid, too. I don’t like phones… There’s nobody on this earth ever got a call from me that isn’t related, probably. Or a very old friend…

Sept 1980 – John

“Yoko was an extremist and was even more intense than John taking any idea or comment of his to the limit. If, for example, he complained about any of his fellow Beatles she would hint that that Beatle had always been an enemy implying that John should never deal with that person again. Her extreme positions fascinated John and help him take his mind off himself but when she became self-involved and paranoid herself -her paranoia usually dealt with her career, her fame and the fact that even though she had always been famous everyone conspired to keep her from getting even more famous- he had no place to turn. His insecurity about his solo career, his childhood, his relationships with the other Beatles, the way the public perceived Yoko overwhelmed him and he became more and more involved with drugs.”

May Pang, Loving John (1984)

John was lucky. He got all his hurt out. I’m a different sort of a personality. There’s still a lot inside me that’s trying to work it out. And that’s why it’s good to see that wedding-funeral bit, because I started to think, ‘Wait a minute, this is someone who’s going over the top. This is paranoia manifesting itself.’ And so my feeling is just like it was at the time, which is like, He’s my buddy, I don’t really want to do anything to hurt him, or his memory, or anything. I don’t want to hurt Yoko. But, at the same time, it doesn’t mean that I understand what went down.

Paul McCartney: An Innocent Man? (October, 1986)

Some three year later, during the making of Abbey Road, Lennon installed a twin bed in the studio so that Yoko, recuperating from a car crash, could survey proceedings and pass comment though a mike he had suspended over her. The other Beatles positioned themselves around the room as best they could. Yoko would later tell Paul that if, for any reason, he’d seemed to be standing too close to her, all hell would break loose when John got her home. Lennon, she said, was ‘very paranoid’ like that.

McCartney by Chris Sandford

But we were actually quite supportive. Not supportive enough, you know; it would have been nice to have been really supportive because then we could look back and say, “Weren’t we really terrific?” But looking back on it, I think we were okay. We were never really that mean to them. But I think a lot of the time John suspected meanness where it wasn’t really there.

Paul McCartney, interview w/ Chris Salewicz for Musician: Tug of war – Paul McCartney wants to lay his demons to rest. (October, 1986)

#the beatles #paul mccartney #john lennon #mclennon #i wonder how much of their issues were due to john suspecting paul of things that just weren't true #then again maybe paul is secretly an evil mastermind #can't put it past him

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jamisonwritestf2trash · 4 months

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In the spirit of Valentines Day, I come bearing headcanons. Specifically, the mercs favorite flowers, plus how they'd react to getting said flower as a gift! Also, bonus Miss Pauling because I like her too.

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Demo- Buttercups

I'd like to think that when Demo was younger, he lived in a house near a field that had wildflowers. Like he could look out his window and just see flowers, and out of all of them, he found himself being drawn to buttercups. I think yellow is his favorite color, so he was naturally drawn to them based off color but something else draws him to them that he can't describe.

He will cry if he gets a bunch of these. He knows that buttercups aren't a traditional flower to get in a bouquet which means, the person giving him them had to, not only remember whatever one off drunken comment Demo made about his favorite flower, but also had to go out and spend time picking flowers for him.

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Engie- Hyacinths

I think he’d be a big fan of hyacinths because they were his mom’s favorite flower and now, seeing them reminds him of her. He may have not had a great home life growing up, but something about seeing small things to remind him of his old home does make him very happy. He likes blue hyacinth more than any other, which do represent loyalty and patience, so that’s fun!

If he receives flowers he’s immediately a little pink, the whole, “Aw, you shouldn’t have.” schtick, he is very happy to have received any gift at all. Not happy about how out of the way this must have been, but knows better than to argue when presented with a gift. He likes how they, at least a little bit, brighten up his work space.

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Heavy- Marigolds

I genuinely think he just really likes how they look. No deeper meaning. He just thinks that they are one of the prettiest flowers he’s ever seen, and he adores them. I think he really just likes flowers in general, and it’s hard for him to pick a favorite. This man just appreciates the beauty of the world! I think he is a little drawn to the color and shape, he thinks it's such an interesting flower. Something about it is unique in a mundane way. I also just think he’s read a lot of books on flowers and plants and has always been drawn to them.

If he got flowers as a gift he would be very appreciative. I think at first he wouldn’t really realize someone put the effort into buying him his favorite flowers. I like to think that his sisters would pick wildflowers for him when he was younger and he would always be appreciative of the “Thank you for thinking of me, this is the eight time this week you brought these, where are you finding these.” type of way, so he’s conditioned to feel that way at the sight of flowers as a gift, but is genuinely very happy when he realizes that someone remembered his favorite flower and bought them for him, small things mean a lot to him.

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Medic- Chrysanthemums

Similar to Heavy, he is also a big fan of plants and flowers! I think he definitely minored in botany at one point after developing an interest. I think he actually grew to love chrysanthemums specifically because when he was going to college, he found that there was a small patch outside his dorm window, and he would occasionally watch the flowers moving, the life around them just living. He used watching the flowers as a break, a distraction, so his mind just associated them with good times.

He is posed with a… situation. He appreciates the gesture immensely! But… he does have birds, and as smart as the birds may be, they are still a little stupid, and he would prefer his plants NOT to be eaten. Also, he can’t risk coating his gift in blood, despite how much he loves the stuff, he knows that a blood bath probably isn’t the best for flowers. Fret not, however! He most likely keeps them in his room, or in a common area. He is very meticulous in caring for them, if he puts them out, the gift giver may see him watering and caring for the flower as often as he can between his other work. Maybe a bit more stress than originally worth it, but he definitely appreciates the effort!

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Scout- Roses

Scout is a fan of roses, like his mother actually. He isn't aware of the symbolism of the color of roses though, he just always knew orange was his favorite color for roses, for some reason. It's just interesting that orange roses can represent energy and pride.

If he finds himself on the reviving end of these roses, he will get very defensive. He totally doesn't like them, why would you get him these, he doesn't want them, no, no no wait don't take them back- He keeps those flowers around until they rot, and even then he doesn't want to give them up, he loves the gesture.

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Sniper- Tiger Lilies

Sniper likes flowers well enough. He’s more of an animal fan than anything, but he can appreciate the beauty of nature in all forms. I wouldn’t say tiger lilies are 100% without a doubt his favorite, I think he just likes seeing them a bit more than others. They represent prosperity and positivity, and he’s fine with having a little bit more of that in his life at any given time. Might give a half smile at the sight of one,

Hey, no, no no no, HE is the gift giver! Very uncomfortable receiving gifts. He’s appreciative, yes, but it;s just very hard for him to express that! People remembering things about him is very…new. He’s already very quiet and reserved, so the fact that someone managed to remember something so insignificant (in his mind) is confusing, but not entirely unwelcomed. He’s not very good with plants, so hopefully the gift giver won’t take offense to the fact that they might already be wilting by the next day.

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Spy- Lily of the valley

A mix of a few things makes this Spy's favorite flower. I think Spy became attached to them after receiving them a couple of times. He attaches to them because any time he's given a gift, it changes a little part of his brain. Also!! Lily of the vally are symbolic of rebirth, and maybe Spy has always been ready for change.

If you managed to find out his favorite flower, you are instantly a threat (/hj) Spy does NOT like people knowing about things he likes, nor does he like them being “used against him” (<- having to feel an emotion one time), He’ll take them with the promise of not keeping them, so your money was a waste and you’re stupid for even doing this- he keeps them in his room along with the other plants he keeps. He loves the gift, like Scout, would rather die than admit that.

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Soldier- Forget Me Nots

Calling these his favorite flower is almost a stretch, I don't think he particularly cares for flowers. I just don't think he really pays attention. But if he finds himself sitting on the ground, most likely with Demo, his eyes will be more focused on these than anything else.

If given as a gift, he doesn't really understand what the sentimental value is supposed to be, but he is grateful for the present. He most likely keeps them on his nightstand or somewhere where he can see them regularly. He enjoys looking at them and reminds him he's being thought of.

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Pyro- Daisy

If given as a gift, immediately joy! They will definitely reciprocate with flower crowns made from the daisies. Just enough for it and the gift giver to have matching ones. They definitely like being given flowers to make crowns with, but much like Soldier, probably doesn't exactly understand the sentimental value of someone remembering/gifting it's favorite flower

It adores daisies! Something so simple but so beautiful makes them really happy. It really enjoys them and definitely always has some laying around either in a vace or just lying around. Gives them in all forms as gifts regularly, either by leaving them in the places each other merc is at the most, or by giving them it directly.

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Miss Pauling- Lilac

Probably not the most original, but whatever! I think her favorite time of the year is a mix between spring and summer already, and when it's just getting hot enough to have warm, breezes and flowers blooming, she KNOWS lilacs are going to come out and she is so excited!! She loves the smell more than anything, the sights are also beautiful and make her very happy.

She never really gets flowers as a gift, who would have guessed, but she is overjoyed if someone gets her a bouquet of lilacs. Something about people remembering her favorite flower makes her feel... cared for and just a little less stressed out. She will smile at those flowers each time she sees them.

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Went heavily on the symbolism, hm?Anyways, I am SO glad I finally wrote something and that I feel motivated again. Hope you guys liked them! Now, I'm going to bed.

#tf2 #team fortress 2 #tf2 demoman #tf2 engineer #tf2 heavy #tf2 medic #tf2 miss pauling #tf2 scout #tf2 sniper #tf2 spy #tf2 soldier #tf2 pyro #tf2 headcanons #tf2 hc

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bambi-kinos · 3 months

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McLennon male/female AU

So way back in June 2022, I was talking with some friends including @dovetailjoints about this Paul McCartney manip where his face was converted to a woman's:

I promptly lost my mind on account of being a huge d*ke so I started spinning up a McLennon m/f AU about it. I still think about it a lot but I also don't know if I'll ever write it or not. Looking at @erinarigby's beautiful rendering of John and Paula reminded me of it, so I am publishing these notes for the pleasure of the reading audience.

I might still return to it at some point but I am currently waist deep in my longfic and have different projects lined up after that.

John and Paula are at the fete together but Paula is being crowned the Rose Queen or whatever it was that was happening in the background. Her best friend is Dot and her closest guy friend is Ivan and she's too busy basking in the attention of winning a competition to give a single fuck about John Lennon. She already knows her worth so who gives a fuck about that guy? They do NOT have a fateful meeting at the church hall.

(The secret is that she quietly follows him on the bus and has his route memorized. Light stalking of the teenage girl kind and I bet Dot has been helping but they treat it as a big joke.)

Ivan and Len both know Paula from school before they went to gender segregated academies or whatever. Paula actually finishes her education here because her dad wants her to do it and I bet she would have been a daddy's girl through and through. Mike is still her little brother and she vacillates between doting on him and bullying him. (Older sisters can be really mean to their younger brothers, I've noticed.)

Ivan still sings her praises to John but John does not take this in the slightest bit seriously. He and the rest are convinced Paula is Ivan's secret girlfriend (it's actually platonic between them, George is the one who carries a torch for Paula) and that Ivan wants her around so that he doesn't feel lonely at Quarry Men practice.

Things finally come to a head when Paula helps Ivan carry his tea chest bass to a QM band practice. The mythical J. Paula McCartney! (She won't tell anyone what the J stands for because it's embarrassing.) Paula's face definitely catches some unwanted attention so she deliberately plays up being Ivan's girlfriend to escape it. I imagine she's pretty cold about this kind of thing and probably much more ruthless than AMAB Paul because she has to play for keeps to be taken seriously.

Then she notices John playing with banjo chords. She says something. This goes very, very poorly.

John could take direction from an AMAB Paul who showed off his skills but Paula just rocks up and makes fun of him to his face. "She doesn't even play! Ivan, muzzle your bitch and get her out of here." Doesn't help that John is immensely taken with her but he doesn't like this at all.

Years of slapslap (no kiss) ensue, Paula eventually does make her skills known to John in someway but he's able to put her down for being a girl and therefore not a threat. I have no idea how they would both develop musically but I imagine that any attempts at a collaboration between them would go immensely poorly at this stage. John would not be able to put aside the sexism and Paula would needle him mercilessly.

Eventually though they come to a sort of détente which means that their two social spheres get some measure of peace after some 2 odd years of them screaming at each other during house parties. Everyone else can tell they want to fuck each other's brains out but they both frequently declare their public loathing of each other. For some reason John makes it his business to know what the guitar girl from Allerton is doing with her time and who she is spending it with. As she gets older this might even become a more reasonable proposition as Liverpool is still a rough neighborhood and she insists on walking home by herself after dark. Eventually she and Ivan stage a public break up so that John realizes its "over" (lol) between them and stops bothering poor Ivan about it.

George is more territorial about Paula which is cute coming from a pipsqueak that John easily has 30 pounds over. Unfortunately Paula does not see George that way.

At some point Paula becomes a bit of a woman about town and starts seriously dating men. John muscles his way into this, for some god forsaken reason, and makes a nuisance of himself running off Paula's dates. More screaming matches ensue but John seems incredibly agitated about something that Paula doesn't understand.

At some point in the détente John makes it into art college. Paula makes sure to mock him to his face for being an academic failure and reminds him that he'll never graduate because he doesn't have the guts. To this end John does in fact buckle down out of pure spite. I don't know if he would actually finish but I think he'd actually develop as a painter and a sketch artist just to show her up. I don't think John Lennon of all people could bear a beautiful woman mocking him for his inadequacy.

John might go on two dates with Cynthia but I think she would be a little unsettled at how he manages to insert Paula McCartney into every single conversation, but not in a jealous way. Cynthia tracks down Paula at some public gathering and asks her if she's being bothered by John. A trio of Dot, Paula, and Cynthia forms. SLEEPOVERS etc. John settles down because Paula isn't actively dating anyone here, she has her galpals and they are extremely epic friends.

Something happens that triggers Paula and John running off on their own. I'm imagining John stealing a college teacher's keys and they drive out to get some lunch somewhere. It's an unexpectedly good gesture from John Lennon who Paula usually dismisses as a cad.

I think at some point during this conversation John would admit that he knows Paula is a good guitar player -- its just that he can't really own up to it in public. A unique moment of vulnerability from him and she responds in kind. She tells him she thinks he's the best singer she's ever heard. For the first time things are not shitty between them. John probably ruins this by honking her breasts.

Paula graduates secondary and has to decide what the fuck to do now. It is 1960, they're going to go to Hamburg eventually but not yet. John has managed to establish something with Stu and I think Paula sent George John's way because he needed support that he refused to accept from her because she's female. She's been a loner for all her life, it's not a big wrench now.

George has had a front row seat to John's Paula obsession for years now and he's both intrigued and weirded out and wants to date Paula himself.

I'm imagining some scenario where John finally goes…why not try it. What's stopping him. So he finds her at an outdoor market and he actually tries to be smooth. He catches her eye on the other side of the road and nicks a wildflower bouquet. He trips comically and almost goes down but then appears three stalls later. Paula is laughing, yes yes she thinks it's funny. He waits at the end of the strip and gives her the bouquet and they spend some quiet time together. Nothing sexual, John is just ready to try something he's never attempted before: treating a woman like a person.

Paula reciprocates and buys him something to eat probably. He really is very handsome and very intelligent. She likes him better without the quiff and says so. He succeeds in making her laugh. His hair is so red and he's still the beautiful boy she saw on the bus.

They're watching the sun set over the Mersey when she says "I was accepted to [university.] I'm leaving at the end of the week. I'm studying music."

John goes quiet but doesn't really react except to congratulate her. He knows she will do well.

He goes home and it goes poorly.

Cyn and Dot throw a big good bye party for Paula to celebrate her leaving home. Their pearl is escaping into the big wide world. Paula is deeply unhappy. Something is missing. She gets very very drunk. George shows up and tells her that John and Stu have secured a gig in Hamburg. They'll be leaving at the end of the week too. For some reason John was really, really intent on leaving all of a sudden. Paula definitely locks herself in her childhood bathroom and cries her eyes out.

John notably does not put in an appearance at the party even though Stu and his hot friend Pete Shotton definitely do along with George. Everyone knows that John and Paula have a thing so where the hell is he? Even if they don't like each other they've still been a big part of each other's lives -- John has an arrest record because he punched out the guy who spiked Paula's drink a few months ago and she screamed bloody murder in the police station until they let him go. What gives?

John still does not put in an appearance. Someone sees a creeper by the front door but he slides away before anyone can see him.

Around 4am Paula finally drags herself upstairs upset and wasted and not sure why she's unhappy. She hears the rocks clatter against her window and by the time she pokes her head out John is risking death by climbing up the drainpipe. She almost screams but helps him inside instead.

John is a MESSY PERSON and he promptly goes to pieces in her arms. What am I supposed to do without you, he sobs. Aren't you going to miss me? Aren't you going to think about me? Don't I matter to you at all?

They have another small argument but its not very serious and its clearly flirting at this point. They're both pretty bombed so they just end up stripping and holding each other.

Jim finds them the next morning. It goes poorly.

Paula decides she's going to Hamburg with John. He told her they need a fifth person and he gave her the eyes. She knows what he wants and she knows what she wants and she isn't wasting money on some stupid school. She doesn't want to be a music teacher anyway.

Jim informs her she is not going to Germany in the company of four randy boys much less with the town ne'er do well John Lennon. Paula bides her time and packs a bag and her guitar. She escapes out the window the morning that they're set to leave for Hamburg and shows up at the last second. John hugs her tightly and doesn't let go for several hours. She just blew her uni placement to be with him.

Hamburg happens. It goes poorly but also very well. John suddenly gets a lot more sensitive to their accommodations. If it was all blokes he wouldn't care but now that they're out of the cradle of Liverpool he's suddenly sharply aware of how many people are watching them, and watching Paula, and how vulnerable she actually is. Paula adjusts to the German catcalls and otherwise refuses to appear ruffled. Honestly don't know how to render this particular section except that John would get an early education on how a woman and a bandmate can be treated. This isn't Cynthia being pawed at by a German sailor, this is his bandmate Paula having to dance away from blokes trying to climb up the stage to get to her. "Alarmed" doesn't quite cover it.

For Paula its an education. She's never performed live in front of an audience before; this version of Paul never performed with the QM. Gelling with the band out of no where is a hell of a challenge but Hamburg still makes them. She surprises John by engaging in the loogie races and by being intrigued by the sex workers around town. I think that she and John still wouldn't be having sex at this point because John is still absorbing all the new experiences and it's easier to keep her on a shelf where he can admire her tits without actually trying to fuck her. In John's mind he's keeping the upper hand by not ruining Paula by having sex with her. In his mind he's protecting her from something; he doesn't feel worthy of her and if they get physical he's scared of making her "dirty."

Paula still has ways of unsettling him though. Imagining John's face if she shows him the underbust corset she bought without a shirt to go under it. He's only seen her nipples in the dark before so seeing her dressed up like one of the street girls makes him pretty feral and that's on top of the prellies.

Paula only performs dressed this way once which results in some mass chaos at whatever club they're performing at that night, kek.

Honestly Hamburg is still intensely deranged and Lennon and McCartney's fixations one each other becomes even more pronounced once they start writing songs together. I can't imagine how their music would change once they have access to Paula's vocal range. Probably something more Nightwish-esque as I think Paula being a woman would make John more tolerant or intrigued with operatic styles just because he wants to hear her belt it.

George still gets deported for being underage but I think John and Paula end up staying in Hamburg together because Paula doesn't light a condom on fire this time. She's too busy putting it on John. I like to think they spent Christmas in Germany performing and boning.

They finally make it home after New Year's. Paula is half dead and John is barely a person because he's full up on amphetamines and sex. Mimi won't let John into the house because he had the nerve to take off with a scarlet woman to Germany without asking permission which means…

Jim does not officially let John into the house so Paula sneaks him in through her window. The band recuperates through out January and John gets used to sleeping next to his lady. It's a quiet hibernation period that they think back on fondly later.

At this point Paula is somewhat disgraced for running off with John Lennon and once again John gets to see this up close and personal which is discomfiting for him since its his actions that are visiting these consequences back on Paula's head. He didn't quite understand how intense the judgment was before he saw it aimed her way. It forces him to grow up a little.

But he still takes her to Paris. Common expectation is that they're running away to get married. Neither of them want to get married yet but they're also doing the Lennon-McCartney dance with each other where they become screamingly jealous of anyone who looks at their partner.

Things progress to 1963. They meet Brian, shit happens idk. Beatlesmania kicks off. I have this idea that maybe Paula crossdresses as a man. She is beautiful but she still has a strong jaw and her breasts are small enough to bind without much effort. She is also still the tallest member of the Beatles and she easily has a full inch over John in height (which regularly leads to the best erections of John's entire life.) Being an Amazon has its advantages and this one means she can present herself as a man to secure a unified front with the other Beatles.

I am unable to render how Beatlemania would change if Paula was the single girl in the Fab Four but I can imagine how it would change their look -- 3 beautiful matching boys and the sole female. Lots of color play in my mind going on and of course there's the quiet understanding that Lennon and McCartney belong to each other.

Paula "accidentally" gets exposed as a woman when John loosens her undergarments as a prank and her breasts pop out during a performance. (I don't think anyone would see her nipples, it just be immediate cleavage and a button pops off her jacket.) I am unable to render how this would go, I can't imagine anything except a huge uproar that would send the Beatles into the stratosphere. This would become a moment that gets debated for decades, whether it was a prank from John or if John and Paula came up with it together.

Paula has incentive to do something like this: Brian won't let John and Paula get married because it would disrupt the Beatles image.

1965 - the big one, I think. Paula can be a woman in public now which results in the photoshoot that breaks the world. Referred to only as "the Beatles wedding." It's just too good to pass up.

Paula gets to model a few hundred different wedding gowns (most of these are separate from the boys just because there's so many and she looks good in everything) with various accoutrements anc accessories. There is a portion where the boys will be dressed up as grooms and they'll be getting special sessions with her each.

John is a complete and utter bastard leading up to and throughout the days of this shoot and its commonly conjectured in Beatles fandom circles for decades afterwards that he was seething with jealousy and humiliation -- he should have married her years ago so that this kind of spectacle couldn't come to pass, and he knows it, but he can't change it now and he's furious that she's dressing up as a bride when she's not even really his. And on top of it George and Ringo are getting to see her before he does and they won't tell him what she looks like.

"I hate you and I will never forgive you for as long as I live," is what George tells John when he asks how it went, what she wore, what it was like. John is hurt and confused.

"You're a lucky man John Lennon. Don't squander it," is what Ritchie tells John when he asks about it. "Make sure to brush your teeth and whatnot though."

John is nervous as hell even though its just some stupid photo shoot and they've done thousands of those already. Brian won't let him drink to calm down so John now has to face Paula in her wedding gown while completely sober.

There's a modern trend of "photos of grooms seeing their brides in their dresses for the first time" and I think all 3 of the boys would get these with Paula. It might even be enough to power several magazines, idk. Collectors items and whatnot. The McHarrison issue, the McStarr issue, the McLennon issue…

Photogs definitely capture the moments leading up to the reveal and then the seeing, the shock, the surprise, the awe. George started laughing and flung himself at her and danced her around, Ritchie did that presses-his-fist-to-his-face thing men do sometimes when they're overcome, yes, Paula is an absolute joy. She made sure to insist on having all different dresses per day because she didn't want repeats. Her boys deserve something brand new every time.

John though. Oh, John. Very nervous, trying not to be, clearly hating the camera, he doesn't turn when he's supposed to and he only reacts when she touches his shoulder and calls his name. Honestly I can see them leaning into a beauty and the beast angle with these two.

If there was any doubt before there isn't now. It's love. Everything else fades away and it's just John and Paula being themselves, except they were always in love, weren't they.

The world promptly goes completely insane upon the release of the Beatles wedding photographs. They got what they asked for and then some. Honestly John and Paula probably have one iconic photo spread of just the two of them that day and in that timeline, that portrait blots out pretty much anything else of cultural significance from 1965-1968. The world turns on but the wedding portraits from that day is what ends up being the most iconic part of Beatlemania.

after that IDK, I'm not really capable of thinking past that. I just like the idea of the wedding photoshoot and how John and Paula came from those humble beginnings. I think they'd definitely have children together but I don't know if they could manage a stable family unit or if they'd be able to save the band from the break up. But there wouldn't be any faffing around about "the Lennon and McCartney rivalry" or "they always hated each other." The wedding shoot was too real.

Notably, John and Paula did attend the premier of A Hard Day's Night with Paula in a white dress and John in a black tux. Symbolism.

I think by the time the Get Back sessions happen John and Paula have an almost three year old and Paula is heavily pregnant with their second or third child. Instead of the deadline being Ringo's acting job they're trying to get one last project in because the second baby is due in February.

I think with Paula's height (she would still be taller than John after all and this time she's wearing high heels to make the point) and her androgyny they would also get some mileage out of early boundary pushing by dressing her up in the boys clothes, so the Shea uniforms would definitely make an appearance unchanged except Paula's tits are out to here and John spends a lot of the stadium concert unbuttoning her jacket every time she buttons it back up.

Just occurred to me that Help! would be a much more straight Dr. No parody especially with Paula as the built in Bond girl. AHDN would be more similar as a documentary with surreal comedy elements but Help! would definitely be more ridiculous and Johnny gets his girl in the end haha

-----------------------

These are all my notes from last year. Thought you guys would appreciate. As I was writing this out last year, I remember being caught between two impulses: the "John and Paul would be a pregnant teenagers couple" idea (which I see many other based users have agreed with!) and then the "Beatlemania but if Paul was a woman" idea. In the end I went with the Beatlemania Paula because that's more interesting as a story especially with Paula having to exploit her androgyny for success. That being said I think Paula would absolutely be the Domme to John's sub, there's no way a Beatlemania Paula doesn't have John's balls in a cage and John liked being controlled by a strong woman. He's not allowed to finish until she tells him that he can.

I remember thinking that they would have their first child in 1965, with the idea being that Paula is pregnant during the Beatles Wedding Photoshoot, which would take place sometime in the winter so that the fashion designers could sell their wares with Paula advertising them. IMO Paula would make John wear condoms for years but once Ed Sullivan happens John makes a disturbingly sincere plea to trash them and Paula assents. Two months later she's pregnant after John's been climaxing inside her multiple times a day <3 But honestly, she's rewarding him for being so fucking brave all the time, he's unironically earned it.

I also think that a female Paula is still has full on baby rabies and by late 1964 she's desperate to get pregnant by John so they can finally start their family. There's an element of rebellion too because she'd be furious with Brian for not letting her and John get married and retaliates by having out of wedlock children.

#mclennon #my writing #talktalktalk #thank you for the art #the beatles #fanfiction

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thebearme · 5 months

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Any tf2 headcanons?

I was hoarding this ask for when I have alot of hcs but I now realize that that was an awful idea becuz now there too much going on in my brain. So I'll tell you the ones I can remember rn.

(btw this is gonna be a mess of silly and sad contention into a blender, so sorry for any whiplash)

Everyones business last name is TF2. It's canon, Ms Pauling said so.

Scout and Ms Pauling have one thing in common, they're simps for women out of their league and it's sad.

My current idea of the plot is that Ms Pauling is now the new administrator and the mercs are still working for her but now instead of a war they are now a Hire-A-Merc organization. Why, so they can pay the blood pact that the old administrator got them in from Abraham Lincoln.

The team is a merge for BLU and RED team members.

BLU: Scout, Medic, Soldier, Engineer | RED: Heavy, Demo, Spy, Sniper, Pyro

Engie has an gaming channel.

Engie is a little person. (you can't convince otherwise LOOK AT HIM)

Engie does his own surgery, not that he doesn't trust Medic. He just doesn't trust Medic. He has more trust that in his drunken state he could chop his arm off cleaner than Medic because of his god complex.

Engie says trans rights.

Engie has two moods: Wholesome bumpkin or manic "i am better than all of you".

Medic and Heavy are married. (but to be fair thats just canon)

Medic never had a medical license but he did go to school... for animal care.

Medic has a Doctor of Veterinary Medicine degree and lied ALOT to military when he got drafted to get out safely.

He got a nazi skeleton and dead parents out of that.

Medic burn his documents so now the only people that knows is the people he tells like Heavy.

Medic only have two reasons for being here- 1) to experiment on everyone. 2) Heavy

Medic eats like a cat eating a dragon fruit. And so does Archimedes.

Medic is the definition of "no rules no boundaries he doesn't flinch at torture and sells blood for money. He's your new best friend."

Medic is slowly going more insane with time and can't tell if it's because he sold his soul to the devil or because someone is secretly fucking with him. (it's Spy)

Heavy met Medic before joining the team.

Heavy has a cooking channel.

He's a masochist. (he has too if he's with Medic.)

Heavy will kill Soldier before he starts having kids with Zhanna. He's still not ok with him.

Heavy has lots of cute moles on him. (Medic makes sure to kiss each one and make sure they're not lethal.)

While Im at it Heavy family is cursed to fall in-love with insane men.

Pyro-vision is just Pyro going through a heat stroke.

Pyro is the leader of the hate spy club.

Pyro has kids that live in the ocean with his mermaid wife. Don't ask how, it's Pyro.

Engie and Scout are the only ones that understand what Pyro is saying completely.

Engie adopted Pyro unofficially but that's his son right there.

Soldier and Zhanna are gonna have twins.

Soldier and Demo had kiss once- with their socks on.

Medic did a blood test on Soldier and he actually is not 100% American, he doesn't know and everyone intends it to stay that way.

Soldier and Scout actually know each other from before getting hired by BLU. They were comrade in the 100,000 new men program in Vietnam.

After Scout left in general discharge from a land mine incident he thought that would be the laat time he sees him. He was wrong.

Don't worry they're chill, well as chill as man can be when their hand is somehow a magnet to your neck.

Sniper is a social smoker.

Sniper is like a lizard, he doesn't fuck with the cold.

Sniper is younger than Scout. He just spent too much time in the sun and now he looks like a divorce 40 y/o dad struggling with his mortgage. Or just a brown Adam Sandler.

Sniper got those old man bones AKA my bones. His knees be cracking down the hall.

Sniper hops round different peoples places for the holidays. He spent the most time at Engie's house with Pyro; he had spent a Christmas or two with Scout's family but a "certain someone" doesn't appreciate the bushman there and ruining his holiday with his family.

When Scout has to give directions or details of the area he just draws it. Because NO ONE understands this mans writing.

Scout's life mission is to be Gods greatest gift and not just for the women. Like the bible said "a hole is a hole"... or atleast thats what Scout remembers from church.

Scout while being illiterate CAN speak Spanish, Italian, Vietnamese and French. (but he doesn't remember where he learned french from tho.)

Scout is resistant to radiation at this point.

Before becoming a merc, Scout was working at a diner that fitted him quite well.

Waffle House at the graveyard shift.

Scout's fuckboy attitude comes from daddy issues while Spy slut attitude comes from mommy issues.

Spy came from a rich family until he ran away to help in the war effort and became a spy. He doesn't regret his decision nor miss his home but does wish he did a proper goodbye to his brother.

The reason Spy has teeth capsules in his mouth to begin with is because one time him and a his fellow spy were getting torture by the enemy by having their teeth removed. Now all his teeth are fake.

Speaking of teeth, Scout got his buck-teeth from Spy.

Spy HAS gotten lungs transplanted several times from Medic because this mf refuses to chill out and get help with his smoking problem.

Spy is gender fluid.

Spy is a furry.

Demo is going to kill him one day.

That day is when he finds his DA account.

#ask #team fortress 2 #tf2 #team fortress 2 headcanons #tf2 headcanons #ms pauling tf2 #heavy tf2 #sniper tf2 #demoman tf2 #medic tf2 #spy tf2 #soldier tf2 #scout tf2 #pyro tf2 #engineer tf2

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denimbex1986 · 3 months

Text

'On a recent winter day in New York when the sun was shining, Andrew Scott rushed into a coffee shop between recording sessions for an upcoming series.

“I’m scheduled tighter than a teenage pop star,” he said, beaming.

The interview had been postponed once, and the location was switched at the last minute to save Scott some time in traffic. But he sat down fully engaged and eager to start talking. Immediately, though, a passerby tapped on the storefront glass and asked for a photo. Scott, without a grumble, sprinted out to oblige, even though the gesture seemed more like a command (“You’re under arrest,” joked Scott) than a polite request.

Scott, the 47-year-old Irish actor, is in demand like never before. That’s partly due to accrued good will. A regular presence on stage in the West End, Scott is known to many as the “Hot Priest” of “Fleabag” or the cunning Moriarty of “Sherlock.” Soon, he’ll play Tom Ripley in the Netflix series “Ripley,” adapted from the Patricia Highsmith novel.

But the real reason Scott’s time is short right now is Andrew Haigh’s new film, “All of Us Strangers.” In it, Scott plays a screenwriter working on a script about his childhood. The film is gently poised in a metaphysical realm; when Adam (Scott) returns to his childhood home, he finds his parents (Claire Foy, Jamie Bell) as they were before they died many years earlier.

At the same time, the movie, loosely adapted from Taichi Yamada’s 1987 book “Strangers,” balances a budding romance with a neighbor ( Paul Mescal ), a relationship that unfolds with profound reverberations of family, intimacy and queer life. In a dreamy, longing ghost story, Scott is its aching, shimmering soul.

“The challenge of it was to try to go to that place but not gild the lily too much,” Scott says. “As an actor, I have to be in touch with that playful side of myself and that part of you that’s childish. I was actually quite struck by how vulnerable I looked in the film.”

Scott’s acutely tender performance has made him a contender for the Academy Awards. He was named best actor by the National Society of Film Critics. At the Golden Globes on Sunday (Scott wore a white tux and t-shirt), he was nominated for best actor in a drama.

Scott has long admired actors like Anthony Hopkins, Judi Dench and Meryl Streep — performers with a sense of humor who, he says, “are able to understand what you feel and what you present.” Scott, too, is often funny on screen (see Lena Dunham’s medieval romp “Catherine Called Birdy” ). And even in quiet moments, he seems to be buzzing inside at some discreet frequency. Something is always going on under the surface.

He’s been acting since he was young; drama classes were initially a way to get over shyness. Scott’s first film role came at age 17. He has often spoken about seeking to maintain a childlike perspective in acting. In that way, “All of Us Strangers” is particularly fitting. On Adam’s trips home, he sort of morphs back into the child he was. In one scene, he wears his old pajamas and crawls into bed with his parents.

“So many of the things that are required of you as an actor are a sense of humor and some ability to be able to put yourself in a situation. Because it’s all down to imagination,” says Scott. “For me, that’s the thing you need to keep. That’s the thing — because I started out when I was young — I don’t want to move too far away from. Like when kids go, ‘OK, you be this and I’ll be this.’ That ability doesn’t leave us. What does leave us is a lack of self-consciousness. Our job is to hold on to that.”

Haigh, the British filmmaker of “45 Years” and “Weekend,” began thinking of Scott for the role early on. They met and talked through the script for a few hours.

“He’s a similar generation to me. He’s a tiny bit younger than me, but he’s from the same generation,” says Haigh. “He understands that experience.”

Scott came out publicly in 2013, but his natural inclination is to be private. “I feel like I’ve given so much of myself in the film, you think you don’t want to give it all away,” he says. He describes “All of Us Strangers” — which Haigh shot partly in his childhood home — as personal, but not autobiographical in its depiction of the alienation that can linger after coming out.

“Mercifully, I feel very comfortable for the most part. But it stays with you that pain, and it actually makes you more compassionate, I think. Because we shot in Andrew’s childhood home, that sort of threw down the gauntlet in relation to how much of his own personality he was giving,” says Scott. “I wanted it to be sort of unadorned, unarmored and raw. That’s why I think there’s such tenderness in the film.”

Scott has sometimes recoiled from how sexuality is talked about the media and in Hollywood. He recently said the phrase “openly gay” should be done away with. As of late December, Scott hadn’t yet watched “All of Us Strangers” with his parents, though he planned to.

“The best way to express it is to say I’ll be very sensitive to how they watch it and how they feel about it, and how it makes me feel them watching it,” Scott says.

The tenderness in the film is also owed in part to Scott’s chemistry with Mescal. On-screen chemistry is an amorphous quality that the film industry has long tried to turn into a science with camera tests and marketing that flirts with real-life romance.

But for Scott, it’s something different. He and Phoebe Waller-Bridge had chemistry, overwhelmingly, in “Fleabag,” but that didn’t have anything to do with sexual attraction. Pinpointing that quality is something Scott pondered during Simon Stephens and Sam Yates’ recent staging of Chekhov’s “Uncle Vanya” at the National Theater. Scott played all eight roles, meaning he essentially had to have chemistry with himself.

“Chemistry isn’t just about sexual chemistry. It’s something to do with listening, and I think it’s something to do with playfulness,” Scott says. “Your ability to listen to someone and take note of what someone is doing is chemistry. You have to wait and see what the other actor is doing.”

A few moments later, Scott will have to rush out just as quickly as he arrived. But before that, he leaned back, naturally lit by the winter sun, and pondered whether “All of Us Strangers,” in the nakedness of his performance, had taken him somewhere he hadn’t before been as an actor.

“Yeah, I think so,” said Scott. “Or else to return to something that perhaps I’ve been before.”'

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shelbgrey · 1 year

Text

Next to me(Emmett Cullen)

Chapter 15: the cold ass Beach

Table of contents

The beach was freezing today but Mike and Jessica were suiting up to go surfing. Me, Emmett, and Angela were all snuggled up in blankets and hoodies in Tyler's van. Bella on the other hand was setting up in the driver's seat of the van reading a book and tuning everyone out.

“So I keep thinking Eric's going to ask me to prom, but then he just doesn't,” Angela told me and Emmett. I looked over at her with a smile.. “You should ask him”

Angela got flustered as I continued to talk. “Take control, you're a strong independent woman” I said.

“Yeah, guys dig chicks that take control,” Emmett added.

“I am?” she asked us. Me and Emmett both nodded. It went silent for a while but then Jacob and Paul came over with Sam. They both had big smiles as they said hi to me and my cousin. Jacob smiled and nodded towards Emmett but Paul just ignored his presents

“Hey, n/n” Paul smiled, coming over to sit next to me in the van.

“What's up kid?" Sam said, leaning on the van.

“Not much” I smiled as I pulled my blanket around me tighter and rested my head on Emmett's shoulder.

“Hay Bella” Jacob smiled as my younger cousin crawled out from the front seat to see her friend.

“You surfin'?” Jacob asked us. I shook my head like he was crazy. “Definitely not, too cold”

“You're cold and yet you're cuddling a leach” Paul mumbled. I threw my empty Coke can at the back of his head as I glared at him.

Angela waved at the boys while Eric looked at them with a questioning look. I sighed and pointed the the boys.

“Guys this is my other cousin Sam and our buddies Paul and Jacob” I smiled and introduced the boys to my other friends.

“Keep Bella company, her date bailed on her" Jessica teased. “to be nice” Bella said but I ignored her.

“What dates?” Eric asked. “Bella invited Edward,” Jessica said to Eric.

“We tried to invite Emmett's siblings but they weren't up for it,” Angela said softly.

“Public gatherings aren't my family's thing,” Emmett said.

“well I'm glad you came, '' Angela said. Everyones looked at me kinda shocked but at the same time they all looked happy.

“Wait what?” Bella asked bitterly but she was ignored again. “I think it's nice they invited them, no one ever does” Tyler said softly.

“Because the Cullens are freaks,” Mike joked, totally forgetting Emmett was right there. Eric pushed his shoulder. “shut up, man”

I snapped my head towards the blond trying to fight the urge not to rip him to shreds

“sorry about him” Angela said to Emmett just brushed it off.

I looked over to Jacob and Sam and they both just shook their heads with a frown.

“You know them?” Bella asked the boys.

“The cullens don't come here… Well they're not supposed to, " Paul said bitterly.

Jacob just looked at him with a wary look. I looked up at Emmett as he shook his head.

--------( ....... )--------

"What did your friends mean by the Cullens don't come here?" Bella asked Jacob as we walked around the beach. Bella and Jacob were a couple of feet behind me, Emmett, and Paul. Me and Emmett walked hand in hand trying to ignore Paul's heated stair.

“Oops. you caught that huh?” Jacob asked. I chuckled. “Dude everyone did,” I said, moving closer to him with Emmett behind.

“But why doesn't your family come here?” Bella asked Emmett. Him not knowing what to say shrugged. Bella then turned to Jacob as he sighed and lowered his voice.

“I'm not supposed to say anything,” he told Bella. “me either” Emmett added.

“I can keep a secret,” Bella smiled. Jacob nervously chuckled and shrugged at her eagerness.

“It's just an old scary story” I said before Jake or Paul could let out any information Bella shouldn't know. Bella looked back at Jake and nodded for him to continue . He sighed but still had a slight smile showing he wasn't annoyed with her. Jake looked at me wanting me to continue. He knew I had the story down and knew it better than him.

“Okay, did you know the Quileutes are supposedly descended from wolves?” I asked. Bella nodded her head.

“Wait wolves?" Bella asked, moving closer to Jacob. “So what's your res's beef with the Cullens?" Bella asked Emmett and Jacob. Jacob sighed as their thoughts flooded my head.

'Jake and his big mouth,' Paul thought.

'It's just a story right? It's no big deal they know' Jacob thought.

“Well the Cullens are supposedly descended from this,” Jacob said in a spooky voice trying to scare bella. I Chuckled and playfully elbowed him. “They're supposedly from an enemy clan but they claimed to be different, so we made a treaty with them”

“Didn't you just move here?" Bella asked Emmett. He nodded. “yes we did”

Paul was quick to but in. “Or they just moved back,”

Emmett shot him a glare as Bella looked even more confused. “They just moved her from Alaska, back off,” I said

“So what is the treaty?” Bella asked.

“If they promised to stay off Quileute lands, we wouldn't expose what they really were” Jacob paused as Bella shivered. He was about to tell us but Angula and Eric raced past us screaming.

“Let's get out of here,” I mumbled to Emmett. I pulled him away but Bella stopped Jacob when he tried to follow.

“Wait...what were they really?” Bella asked. Emmett just shook his head. “Bella, it's just a story about our ancestors… Nothing more” Emmett stated as he started to get annoyed.

Bella looked at me with slight fear almost , maybe disturbed. I only nodded telling her it's okay. Something I haven't done in a long time.

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wayward-dreamer · 10 months

Note

Hi! I was wondering if you could write an angst fic taking place in the late 60s where Ben (Soldier Boy) is in an arranged marriage with the reader, but the reader does love him? Also, they’re much younger than he is (obviously an adult though, just a young one). This is oddly specific ig but I have an OC based around this concept 😭❤️

Two Ways To Love Him

Pairing: Soldier Boy x Female!Reader

Word count: 1,709

Summary: There were certain things about the supe she didn't want to accept, they were surprisingly two things love about him.

Warnings: Swearing, angst, implied smut (not with reader), implied drug use

A/N: I wrote this a while ago and just forgot to post it, but hopefully it's what you were hoping for! Also I was intending for this to be a drabble, but here we are at 1700 words lol This is unbetad, so I'm sorry for any errors I've missed.

It was easy to love his exterior personality, the parts of himself that he showed to the public. The parts of himself that Vought manufactured. The charm, the wit, the subtle cockiness, the smirk, the heroic sacrifices he had made over the decades in each war that occurred, the roughness of his voice laced with the rasp of cigarettes and bourbon. It was easy to love him from afar for many years, knowing that was all it would be. Just a silly admiration for an American hero, the world’s greatest supe. What she felt was real but fleeting, something she knew she’d get over whenever she decided that it was immature and she needed a reality check.

A reality check that came in the form of Vought calling her into the executive offices. It was in the form of them needing her for something that she wasn’t ready for, especially with someone she didn’t know. She knew his public life, yes, but she had no idea what he was like in the privacy of his penthouse apartment at the top floor of the building.

“There’s no way I’m fucking doing this,” he argued, taking out his third cigarette in the span of fifteen minutes they had both been in the CEO’s office.

“You don’t have a choice, Ben,” Alan from talent relations countered. “In light of all the papers reporting your… alleged ties with the mafia, we need to present you as the wholesome, all American hero that you’ve always been.”

“By marrying me off to some bird I don’t even fucking know?!” Soldier Boy pointed towards her, his eyes never even meeting hers. “Not to mention she looks like one of the Brady fucking Bunch kids.”

“I’m 25,” she finally added, her voice meek as her legs shook under her boring brown skirt.

“Yeah, that’s a lot better,” he scoffed, placing the cigarette between his lips and lighting it. He took a long drag as he dropped down in the leather chair across from the table, leaning his head back as he closed his eyes. “Fuckkkk.”

“There’s an image we need to protect here,” the CEO, Paul Roberts explained, leaning forward on the table as he clasped his hands together. “Vought can’t have its number one supe acting out and causing more trouble than he was initially trying to prevent. This arrangement is going to show a level of maturity to your supporters. Think of the popularity points and keep your attitude in check.”

Soldier Boy glared at him, shifting forward and putting the cigarette out in the ashtray. “Fuck you, Paul.”

He stood up from the chair, adjusted the tactical vest over his suit and turned towards the exit, sending those same daggers towards her before he slammed the door shut. She gulped as she turned to the two men in the room, nervously twisting her fingers.

“You’ll be compensated fairly,” Alan informed her, handing her a pen as he pushed the contract across to her.

“What about-” she started as she gestured to the door that Soldier Boy just walked through.

“You let us handle him,” Mr. Roberts added, his tone having a sickening finality to it.

They didn’t leave much room for choice, and she knew better than to argue with a fast-growing corporation like them. With a flurry of the pen, she signed her life away to Vought and to being Soldier Boy’s wife.

There was barely a ceremony, and no exchanging of rings. They gave their forced “I do’s” to a minister hired by the company in one of the offices, standing side by side and never once looking at each other. Vought had people remove her belongings from her parent’s house, her childhood home and move it into the spare room in Soldier Boy’s apartment. A knock on the door alerted her to the envelope left outside, her wedding ring inside that she slipped onto her finger herself. This was never something she thought would happen so abruptly. She always imagined herself falling for a wonderful man, both of them declaring their love for each other before they promised to spend the rest of their lives together.

Being married to Soldier Boy wasn’t what she had pictured for herself.

Being the wife of Vought’s most valuable asset was nothing like having a crush on him. She spent most of her days alone, either crying her eyes out, muffled by the down pillows on the large bed she slept in by herself, or staring out the large, floor to ceiling windows and wondering what the tiny people down on the ground were doing with their lives. She was only ever in close proximity to him when the media outlets wanted to speak with them, now that Vought had officially announced the nuptials of the great Soldier Boy and his childhood sweetheart, as the story cooked up by PR suggested. They fake smiled and “aww, honey”’d their way through every interview, their looks barely lingering on each other for more than a few seconds. They went their separate ways after each one, resuming the routine they had found themselves in.

She kept quiet as she watched him go off to meeting after meeting, commercial after commercial, and party after party, every single day and night. She never said a word as he came in, late at night and blinding drunk, a loud guffaw waking her up as she heard the hysterical giggles of the women he was sneaking into his room. She kept her mouth shut as she watched him consume every pill, snort every kind of powder and drink everything in sight. She ignored him as he did what he was used to doing, showing no interest in that life. She never wanted it and she was even more certain of it now that she had witnessed him in all his glory.

She had seen behind the curtain, she knew what he was really like now, and it wasn’t easy to love him without the guise of his public persona.

In fact, it was incredibly difficult to love him for who he actually was.

Until one day… it wasn’t.

It started with a simple gesture. She had come back from spending her day shopping with the money that Vought was giving her in checks, completely caught off guard by him being there, pouring himself a drink. Their eyes met for what could possibly be the first time in weeks, but exchanged no words. He slid the tumbler across to her, pouring another for himself before he walked away and closed the door to his room. That was the most time they had spent in each other’s vicinity within the apartment, but she appreciated that he actually acknowledged her presence, even if it was for just a mere moment.

She quickly noticed the other little things he started doing, things that he probably hoped she wouldn’t realize was him, but she did.

He would leave for the day just before she would wake, and always had a bagel and coffee waiting for her when she reached the dining table. He usually arrived back at the apartment in the wee hours of the morning, and on more than one occasion she had fallen asleep on the couch. She remained still, making no sudden movements as he covered her with the blanket that was draped over the back of the sofa. After the first time, she had to make sure it wasn’t just a part of her dreams, and sure enough it happened again another two times. She tried not to read too much into the night he picked her up and carried her into her bedroom, or the next night when it happened once more but his large hand delicately tucked a lock of hair behind her ear as she continued to feign sleep, before he promptly left the room.

All of it was a side to him that she never expected once she saw who he really was, and she knew not to take it for granted despite the twinge of longing in her heart that it would be an everyday occurrence that could be acknowledged between them. A stepping stone into a better relationship with him.

But he didn’t want that, and he proved it as he continued his usual activities as if those nice things were just fleeting, so few and far between that it began to feel like a part of the PR stunt. Even if it was behind closed doors.

And yet, she hung onto those moments. They may have been rare, but they were a part of him that she had begun to yearn for, another part of him that she had begun to love. A part of him that she wished he would just fully embrace rather than hide it away as if he was ashamed and disappointed in myself for doing it.

She knew she couldn’t change him. He was too embedded in Vought’s infrastructure to ever be a different person, and his only outlet to escape their grasp was to do all of the things she was forced to pretend didn’t happen.

So she resigned herself to the fact that there were only two ways to love him. Only two aspects of him to love.

One was his public life, the persona he put on for the people that adored him. That sexy smirk, the ability to melt hearts with just a wink and his heroic efforts in the wars - WWII, Korea and Vietnam - that all followed his initiation into Vought. The public didn’t need to know that was all for the photo opportunities.

The other was all of the little things he did for her, things that he didn’t know she had noticed. They were little gestures, not nearly enough under normal circumstances for someone to fall in love with, but she needed those in order to survive this situation she had found herself in. The money promised to her would never be enough to make it through that.

Those were the only two ways to love him, she told herself. Reminded herself every day of the fact.

And everything else, everything she had chosen to ignore… well, those were all things she would learn to live with.

Join my taglist(s)! If you’re crossed out I couldn’t tag you :(

Forevers: @hintsofhoney // @makeadealwithdean // @writercole // @flamencodiva // @440mxs-wife // @sexyvixen7 // @foxyjwls007 // @maliburenee // @waynes-multiverse // @weepingwillowphoenix // @kyjey // @leigh70 // @savagemickey03 // @all-alone-he-turns-to-stone // @agentorange9595 // @buckybarnes-1917 // @lunarmoon8 // @stoneyggirl2 // @hobby27 // @sweetcyanidemilkshake // @envyaurora95 // @jassackles // @ircngirl //

The Boys: @lacilou // @kazsrm67 // @smellingofpoetry // @krazykelly // @nancymcl // @quincessimus //

Soldier Boy: @emoryhemsworth // @spnwoman // @akshi8278 // @katelyn--renee // @candy-coated-misery0731 // @deans-spinster-witch // @deans-baby-momma // @mariaenchanted // @globetrotter28 // @pink-sparkly-witch // @lyarr24 // @stephv213 // @perpetualabsurdity // @lessons-of-red // @redbarn1995 // @xlynnbbyx // @recoveringpastaaddict // @maggiegirl17 // @rebeccathefangirl // @ladysparkles78 // @sl33pylilbunny // @smolone88 // @chernayawidow // @deansbbyx // @ultimatecin73 // @solariklees // @curlycarley // @losa12308 //

#Soldier Boy x Female!Reader #Soldier Boy x Female!Reader One Shot #Soldier Boy Angst #Soldier Boy One Shot #Soldier Boy Fanfiction #Soldier Boy #The Boys Fanfiction #the boys tv

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livingdeadmlm · 1 year

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Bro, my man, dude, buddy, compadre.

Mr. Saul Sugar Daddy Goodman happend right? Now, how about Jesse Pinkman with a Sugar Daddy Male Reader huh? Can that happen? Is that wigity wack for you?

A sugar daddy is all he needs in the show tbh. Most of it doesn’t even go to drugs at this point he finds so many other things to fill in whatever time he has before dedicating to whatever substances he got his hands on

In the way that Saul takes his sugar baby to the mall for clothes you take Jesse to radio shacks and game stops and let him go crazy

He begins to stay with you if things go belly up with Walter. Cause now that he doesn’t need to sell or work with Walt he distances himself from that life

Other than Pete and Badger ofc they’re his besties he’s not gonna leave them behind

At first, he got flack for taking it up the ass for cash but when they saw the amount Jesse got as an allowance from you they got quite real fast

He has a room in your house as well decked out with whatever a 20-something man in the late 00s/10s would ever need

One day you surprised him with a craft room stocked with supplies for woodworking.

Jesse had never felt so seen before, spending so much time in his craft room working away

And you’re sure to show off the fruits of his labor by having whatever he’s made on display

there are different styles of chairs around your table many small boxes and animal wood figures spread around the shelves

when it comes to the actual 'sugar' part (is the sugar in sugar daddy supposed to represent money or sex??? idk here is means sex) he's a younger guy so he's more liking to put out.

plus its cannon Jesse owns a butt plug (thank you Aaron Paul) so do with that what you will

He's not embarrassed to go out and around with you after a long night

sure he's not showing off any marks but any looks he gets he brushes off because at the end of the day, everyone that sees you guys knows who is paying, and understands the special privilege he's getting from you and it does something to his ego that he really likes

#jesse pinkman x male reader #male reader #brbaxmalereader #breaking bad x male reader

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dc-polls · 6 months

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"That Really Happened?!" DC Comics Tournament Entry #31

"Not Exactly Romeo": Gorilla Issues and Other Tales

[ID: The cover of Azrael number 8 which is a close up of Azrael with half the mask torn away, revealing a crazed looking Jean-Paul Valley wide eyed and bearing his teeth. /END ID]

What Happened? (Clarification from other readers)

#im not even joking he canonically has a human mother who was human pregnant with him #then he was taken out of her womb and raised in a tube where he was nourished with gorilla fluid #hes not actually half gorilla but he thinks he is. denny might’ve retconned the extent of the genetic tampering #but he very much had a human mom.

Tags from @azbats

"azrael receives nutrients from a gorilla, was periodically tortured as a fetus" Yes the gorilla thing was inaccurate but it was hiding and even more wtf event Explanation in link HERE

Extra info from @fancyfade

What Happened? (Original Entry)

his mom is a gorilla. no joke. and not even a smart one from gorilla city. his mother is a regular gorilla. direct quote from mister jean paul valley herself: "my genes were intermixed with those of an ape to make me as savage as possible... so you're right. i'm not exactly romeo. i'm not even fully human. sorry." by the way he said this to talia al ghul. because ra's wanted him to marry her. the only reason he didn't is because of the aforementioned gorilla genes. also right after he found out his mother was a gorilla he accidentally killed his younger brother. who wasn't actually technically born or alive yet so i'm unsure if that counts as killing. does it cancel out? like PEMDAS? i am unsure. moral of the story. HIS MOTHER IS A GORILLA. i swear this situation is crazier than i could possibly make it sound. read azrael: agent of the bat #1-7

Tournament polls will be posted after all entries are up. As always you can find all posts related to the tournament using #dc-polls-trh

#dc-polls-trh #dc comics #azrael #jean-paul valley #edited to directly include clarification since accuracy was taken into question #also edited to take 'mommy' out of the title

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man-moth-hook-hand · 1 year

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Welcome to My Nighmare Ch. 2

I absoluty clown on david in this and my scrunkly boi deserves it. Also, I fully believe that Paul uses the most cheesy words/phrases in his speech. He’s pulling no bitches, he’s hypnotizing women to convince the boys he has sex appeal.

Master list

Chapter Two: The Freaks Come Out at Night

There was a dead guy on the porch of my new residence. Jesus-fucking-Christ, I’m with crazy people.

“Dad?” Lucy checked on the old man on the steps. “Dad?” She asked sounding more worried.

“If he’s dead, does that mean we get to go home?” Sam excitedly asked. Lucy gave him a stern look but was brought out of it by the dead guy.

“Playin’ dead. And doing a damn good job of it!” The old man finally spoke. Lucy hugged him, laughing off the encounter. She then told us to go inside and unpack.

“So, you’re living with us now?” Michael asked.

“Sorta,” It was kind of a complicated question, “I’m only staying until I can afford another place. Don’t get me wrong, you guys are nice, I just, Uh, want somewhere else to live. Plus, I’m sure it’s kinda weird for you guys. I mean you did just move states after your mom got a divorce and now you got some homeless kid in your house.”

“I guess.” Michael left it at that. “Well, it’s still nice to meet you. It’ll be nice having someone other than Sammie around.” Same gave him a dirty look for that.

Lucy introduced me to ‘Grandpa’ which I guess is what I was supposed to call him, the brought me to the attic. “It’s not very big, but,” she trailed off. I cut her off saying it was fine and that I was more than happy to have somewhere to be. It wasn’t really an attic anyway; it was more like a small room that had a few steps above the rest of the walkway. It overlooked a field in the back, I gazed out of the window and noticed some horses playing with Nanook. Horses are a symbol for total freedom from everything. I think maybe I finally got that freedom, even if it’s a little unorthodox.

In the room was a full-sized bed and an old chest of draws that came up around to my chest. At least there were sheets on the bed; however, they most certainly weren’t my style. It looked like someone’s grandma died and became the bed. It didn’t help that dust covered every corner of the room. I decided to unpack the few things then sweep. All my clothes fit in one of the five drawers. On top I set my Walkman, wallet, book, and new pair of sunglasses to give it a little bit of a homey feel.

“Here,” Mr. Emerson gave me some kind of taxidermized animal, “As a welcome gift.” He smiled at me. I smiled back and said thank you. At least it was kind of cute, it was a fox. I think. Maybe it was a janky coyote.

/|\^._.^/|\

Later that night, we clamored into the car heading for the boardwalk. It had such a different feel to it at night. I’ve always been a bit of a night owl, but oh my god this was beautiful. The lights, the salty air, the music, everything felt so alive! It wasn’t like during the day where kids rounded every corner crying and parents gave you dirty looks for wearing a crop top. No, at night, it was when the real freaks came out. Goth kids, weird surfer guys, bikers, and drunk teenagers flooded the area. They infected every corner, crevice, and as much surface area as possible. It was intoxicating.

I quickly remembered that I needed a job, fast, so I looked anywhere for a help wanted sign. I went into that bookstore from earlier, but the man just looked at me with pity. He gave some excuse of not being able to afford more people besides himself. Then there was a burger joint, the manager looked at my low-cut crop top before saying no. Seriously, what gives? I looked at a few other places and almost gave up, but a jewelry store had the sign saying HELP DESPRETLY WANTED, WILL HIRE FELONS. Couldn’t hurt, right? Every other place rejected me.

“Hi! How can I help you?” A girl a little younger asked me. She had long, straight, black hair and wore what some would consider too much blush. She was tan wit freckles, so I guess it events it out.

“Actually, I saw the sign for help wanted. Who should I talk to?” I asked as polite as I could. The girl yelled for a woman in the back.

A woman who looked like blonde Joan Crawford came out from behind a beaded curtain. She had dark purple eyeshadow and dark purple lips to complete her look. “I’m Ms. Brenda Cheney. I heard you’re looking for a job?”

“Yes ma’am,” I shook her hand and said It was nice to meet her. “When can I start?” It was a little bold, but damn I needed a job.

“Tomorrow!” she smiled while chewing her gum. “I like you kid. Be here by nine am, Jennifer will show you how to open.” Thank God. I introduced myself to Jennifer and spoke for a little bit. The rumbling of my stomach brought me out of it. I told her goodbye and that I would see her tomorrow.

After I ate probably a too processed hot dog, I noticed a really sweaty guy playing a saxophone. I didn’t usually go into crowds for fear of pickpocketing, but why the hell not? I literally just packed up and left home and I’m doing pretty good so far. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a dude that looked like Billy Idol got his shit rocked and was washed out from fame. He looked disgusting, it was a little hot. The other looked like a tall, punk Shaggy, with longer hair. I think I would have been put off by a Scooby with him. They made eye contact with me. It was kind of creepy how much Billy Idol was into it, so I decided to lose him in the crowd.

I saw a familiar glimpse of black hair in the crowd and spotted Jennifer with a guy. “Hey!” I said. “Do you remember me?”

“Of course!” She said “You’re that girl that came in earlier, it’ll be nice to have someone other than Brenda and James around. This is my brother Adam,” She gestured to the guy beside her.

“Hey,” He was a little taller than me, freckles, dark brown curly hair, and best of all he had a nice ass. I noticed from when I walked behind them to catch up. “It’s nice to meet you.”

“Nice to meet you too, do you guys mind if I follow you for a bit? I’m not from here.”

“Sure! I know all the best places here. Let’s do the Ferris Wheel, ice cream shop, then I’m thinking the movie rental. Sound good?” she asked.

“Sure, you seem like you got a plan.” I laughed. I scanned the boardwalk trying to locate where Jennifer was talking about, spotting the Billy Idol guy. He was just watching me. It was creepy instead of mysterious now.

“Oh, she’s bossy.” Adam piped up. I laughed, damn was he cute. Once we got to the front of the Ferris wheel they split us up into groups of two, I told them I’d catch the next one.

“I could be your rider.” The shaggy guy from earlier said, “I’m Paul, sugar."

“I’m not sugar.” I hated men like that. He apologized and asked if he could ride with me. I caved; he was weird but sadly I liked weird. I had to admit, he was decently interesting and had a good face. “And if you look over there, there’s a bridge that I jumped off of.” He pointed to a bridge not too far from here. He had been pointing to almost every location and telling me tid bits of his ‘adventures.’

I laughed, “It’s like when your mom asks, ‘if your friends jumped off a bridge, would you?’ I’ve always like falling from really high places, which is ironic since I have a fear of height.”

“Nah, it’s like flying,” we reached the top. “So, you looking to hang our with some cool cats?” Paul finger gunned me. “Oh, by the way, the coaster goes higher.”

“How charming, but no thank you.” I did consider it, only for a moment, “You’re really cheesy, ya know? And maybe I’ll ride the coaster with you.” I peered down into the crown and spotted that white haired guy again, Jesus Christ he’s persistent.

“Hey, that’s what draws the babes!” Paul said bringing me out of my daze.

“I don’t think it does Paul.” I had noticed we reached the bottom when the attendee pulled the safety bar off. I thanked Paul for riding with me and suggested the coaster again, he said he had to get going. Just when you think a guy’s into you.

“Who was that guy?” Jennifer asked.

“Uh, Paul. He rode with me, so you guys didn’t have to wait.” I explained.

“Oh, ok.” she said. I spent the rest of the night with the both of them. The ice cream was good, Adam is a strawberry guy. I noticed a glimpse of white hair in the distance. I should find Lucy and go home before it’s too late. What if he’s stalking me? Is he gonna kill me?

“What’s wrong?” Adam asked. He noticed I had been acting a little weird.

“At the concert that happened earlier, there was a guy and I made eye contact with him. I started noticing him at the Ferris Wheel and at the ice cream shop. It’s like he’s stalking me.” I felt weird explaining it to Adam, maybe it was all a coincidence.

“That guy got kicked off of the boardwalk a couple of days ago, that night, the security guard that kicked him off went missing.” Adam said. I guess I was making a weird face since he said, “Well, maybe it was just a coincidence, ya know? I don’t think he wants to kill you.”

“Ok.” I didn’t really believe him. “I think I’m gonna find my ride and head back home. It’s been really nice to get to know you guys.” I waved my goodbyes and made my way to find Lucy. I spotted Nanook about 30 feet away.

“Hi Lucy, are you about to leave?” I asked her.

“Oh, yeah. I was looking for Michael, but Sam said he wandered off with someone.” She dug in her purse for her keys. We clamored into the car and mentioned her new job at the video store.

“That’s nice, I also got a job to help pay for some rent. It’s at a jewelry counter here on the board walk.” I felt bad for what I was about to say. “My job starts at nine tomorrow, it’s ok if I can’t, but could I borrow your car to get here?”

“My shift starts at ten tomorrow, so I’ll just drop you off and wait for Max’s store to open up.” She explained.

“That’s great, thank you.” Thank God. I didn’t want to have to walk like 12 miles to get here.

Once we made it back to the house, everyone started to settle in for the night. Lucy gave me some pajamas and hygiene products. It was a set she was gifted and never used. They were still in date and actually smelled pretty good. After peeling off the clothes that reeked of other people, I scrubbed every inch of my body. My mind wandered to that man from earlier. I couldn’t understand why he was watching me.

I stepped out and dried off, thankfully Lucy’s pajama’s fit me. They had hearts all over them, it was probably also gifted in the bathroom set she didn’t use. I made my way into my room and began to close the window. A man with white hair. I quickly shut the curtains and went to bed. There’s no way he knows where I live. Even if he did, we would’ve seen headlight following us, right? Eventually, I found a way to calm myself enough to fall asleep. That’s a problem for tomorrow.

#the lost boys #the lost boys 1987 #the lost boys david #the lost boys paul #the lost boys marko #the lost boys dwayne #david the lost boys #paul the lost boys #david x reader #david tlb #paul x reader #paul tlb #dwayne the lost boys #dwayne tlb #marko the lost boys #marko tlb #david x rear

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rabbitbites · 18 days

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i got an ask about my harkonnen paul au and i wrote a bunch more for it, but the post got hidden so im gonna repost it here

basically, i was just delving deeper into paul’s relationship with each of the harkonnens

starting with feyd, paul and feyd’s relationship is honestly really cute. they start of as best friends in the childish way where they literally can’t function without each other. oftentimes when Paul is training with the Reverend Mother, Feyd will sit outside the door and wait until they’re done. as they get older, they lose the freedom with which they express their affection. although paul still follows on his heels, feyd begins to shy away, fearing that their friendship makes him look weak. he’s still incredibly possessive of paul though, insisting that they only spar together, getting jealous when paul talks to anyone else, and this possessiveness is reassuring to Paul, it’s the only way he knows that Feyd still likes him. eventually feyd matures, takes a step back, and realizes “dang, Paul is kinda hot”. and paul, who’s been dreaming of this for years, takes it in stride working to rebuild the physical proximity they had when they were younger. soon they’re back to their old routine, sleeping in each other’s beds, sparring daily, letting touches linger for more than a few seconds. it isn’t until Paul comes to Feyd after having a nightmare that they finally kiss

as for the baron, he is completely enamored with paul, the way that he exists in realms both masculine and feminine, his youthful demeanor, the ways he freezes up, trembles like a fawn. because of his affection for his grandson, the baron lets paul do whatever he wants and paul absolutely uses this to his advantage. the baron primes paul from a very young age to give him sexual favors, he frames it by telling paul he needs his help then later treating it as a transaction, something paul owed him “i’ve helped you so much, can’t you do this for me?” as much as it scares paul, makes him feel sick, the reverend mother prepared him for this and he knows it’s a necessary evil. he also knows that the baron is obligated to keep him alive and well and is willing to hold that over his head if need be, purposefully putting himself in danger until the baron folds and gives him what he wants

and finally rabban, paul doesn’t have much of a relationship with rabban, they’re interactions are clipped and stilted, but cordial enough. most of the time rabban just argues with feyd and paul does his best to stay out of it. rabban’s feelings towards paul are complicated, he generally views paul as intelligent and severely underestimated, he doesn’t really trust paul despite him being pretty universally loved. he envies the sway paul has over the baron, but at the same time he recognizes that paul is just doing what he can to survive, and even feels some level of pity for him when he shows up to breakfast with glassy eyes and shaky legs

#paul atreides #dune #dune part 2 #feyd rautha #feyd x paul #feydpaul #paul x feyd #glossu rabban #beast rabban #vladimir harkonnen #baron harkonnen #tw implied sa #tw implied csa

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cinemaocd · 3 months

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Jenny's ongoing list of films watched 2024

February

January list, here.

Inland Empire (2006)*** It took three attempts to get through this long, confusing film. Like Mulholland Drive or the Season Three of Twin Peaks, Lynch films improve on repeat viewings even if meaning remains elusive. That is part of the joy-- sometimes you just vibe with it.

Death of Stalin (2017)**** One of my favorite films of the last two decades. A harried farce with the bloody-mindedness of Macbeth. Like the Scottish Play, we know how its going to come out, but the fun is in watching the articulate villain, played with delicious malice by Simon Russell Beale being outdone by a team of bumbling, petty bureaucrats and one very bad ass soldier. The Boyfriend (1970)*** Ken Russell's surreal tribute to the burlesque musical genre makes the most of its setting in the 1920s by putting his star Twiggy in iconic psychadelic reiterations of the flapper dress. If you opine the fact that drop waist dresses come back into style every 15 years or so, then this movie is as much to blame as anything. Poor Things (2023)*** Emma Stone gives a wild and convincing physical performance as Bella, a baby's brain in the body of her dead mother and Mark Ruffalo as typical 19th Century Rake Getting His Comeupance iscasting I didn't know I needed. I loved the yearning Godwin (Willem Defoe in truly amazing Frankenstein's monster makeup) and though I haven't read the book, I was drawn into the grotesque, ai generated world of the film. The aesthetics of this movie are as engrossing as the story and characters. Adventures of a Dentist (1965)** The Soviet version of the live action Disney comedies of the 70s, where a humble person is given magical power. Here a dentist is given extraordinary, almost magical abilities to perform dentistry without pain. He becomes a celebrity and his fall from grace involves him giving in to the decadent trappings of being a popular dentist. The humor has a darker edge than Disney though I wouldn't go so far as to call it a black comedy. Adolf Hitler: My Part in His Downfall (1973)** This Spike Milligan film plays like a double episode of Dad's Army, not least because of the presence of Arthur Lowe who plays practically the same character here as he does on the tv show. That is not the end of the world however and this is easy to like farce with Milligan's ascerbic, anti-authoritarian bent that is grittier than anything on the sitcom. The Master (2012)** I had high hopes for this, one of Phillip Seymour Hoffman's final films and his last collaboration with director Paul Thomas Anderson is loosely based on the origin story of Scientology. Joaquin Phoenix plays a shell shocked veteran who drifts into the path of the cult leader played by Hoffman. Amy Adams gives a chilling performance as his much younger, controlling wife who is the real power behind the cult. I think I would have an easier time with this film if Anderson hadn't gone around giving interviews saying that Scientology and it's founder L. Ron Hubbard had "helped a lot of people." Of course, this is PTA and Phoenix's character isn't helped at all and he makes the cult worse by being a violent enforcer for the leader's enemies. The levels of whitewashing involved in making a deeply misogynistic cult into a secret matriarchy is just...ugh. However, the homoerotic tension between Hoffman and Phoenix makes the film worth looking out. Murder of Quality (1991)** Made for TV adaptation of John Le Carre's second novel. Denholm Elliott plays Smiley as more doddering and anti-social than Alec Guinness' iconic version of the character. This early Smiley story is more a traditional English village murder mystery, ala Miss Marple, with Glenda Jackson playing Ailsa, Smiley's war buddy that runs a women's magazine. Christian Bale plays one of the students at an elite prep school that forms the economic backbone of the town. Le Carre is merciless in his portrayal of the toxic, petty characters, the wealthy and wannabe wealthy swamp dwellers who run rings around the local constabulary until Smilley steps in and withstands their slings and arrows long enough to solve the case.

The Private Life of Sherlock Holmes (1970)*** Sometimes you sit down to watch a movie with such low expectations that you are pleasantly surprised that it doesn't totally suck. The excitement of things not being as bad as you feared can blot out some of a movie's excesses. At the end of the day this is Billy Wilder, physically incapable of creating a boring movie throwing the whole bag of tricks at this faux biography of Holmes starring Robert Stephens and Colin Blakely. There's farce and physical comedy, verbal gymnastics and exotic locations. Holmes' possible homosexuality is tastefully hinted at and attempts to create a sensationalist account of his drug use, amount to little before the mystery gets rolling. One of the big delights is Christopher Lee as Mycroft whose scenes with Robert Stephens are bitchy queen pissing contests. Genevieve Page does a turn as a would be damsel in distress who turns out to be a worthy opponent to Holmes similar to Irene Adler.

Irma La Duce (1963)*** For some reason between this and Poor Things I ended up watching two movies about Parisian brothels this month. Billy Wilder based this pastiche of 1950s travelogue adventure films like To Catch a Thief and Charade on a French stage play. A strange attempt to weld the success of the Apartment with Some Like it Hot, reconfiguring a Marilyn Monroe vehicle as a reunion of Jack Lemmon and Shirley MacLaine. Like the Apartment, Irma LaDuce is tinged with melancholy while avoiding a lot of the cliches about sex work that wind up dating so many films on this topic. The main complaint I have about Irma LaDuce s that it's about 45 minutes too long, a common complaint about many films of this period. (Damn Lawrence of Arabia and all who sail in her).

Witness for the Prosecution (1982)*** A made for tv adaptation of the classic courtroom drama, which credits Billy Wilder's screenplay of his film version. Ralph Richardson and Deborah Kerr star in this remake and honestly their chemistry is just off the charts and we're left to wonder how they never managed to make a film together before. Wendy Hiller, Diana Rigg and Beau Bridges round out the amazing cast. Lacks the tension and edge of Wilder's film but I'm having too much fun with Ralph to care.

The Major and the Minor (1942)**: Billy Wilder's first film as writer and director has some of the hallmarks of his later, greater works: farce, trains, mistaken identity, and queer themes in the form of a lesbian coded sister of Ginger Roger's romantic rival. That all the fuss is about fairly bland Ray Milland is easy enough to overlook as Wilder makes the film about toying with Rogers image as sophisticated, sexy, dancer. Typical Wilder inside jokes about the film industry abound, such as a craze for Veronica Lake hairdos among the tween set and swipes at Hollywood actors like Charles Boyer Rogers' childish masquerade to avoid paying full adult fare is preceded by a series of calamities where she's pursued and objectified by a lot of nasty older men. Hoping to escape their advances as well as the ignominity of turnstyle jumping, she maintains the charade through a long weekend with a lot of handsy tween boys until Milland's fiancee is discredited as a controlling social climber. There is a bizarre side track into her home town where Rogers also impersonates her mother before revealing her grown adult self to Milland. No one ever accused Billy Wilder of being restrained I guess.

The Children's Hour (1961)**** This classic of queer cinema was necessarily a scorched earth tragedy at the time of its release. William Wyler's dreamy, restless camera drags you into the warm, cozy life of this female partnership between Shirley Maclaine and Audrey Hepburn that seemingly has the potential to be a romantic partnership. When nasty gossips and spoiled children start a rumor that they are a couple, the scandal destroys their business and standing in the community. Terrorized by the homophobic townspeople, they are eventually "cleared" of the crime of being gay for each other, just when Maclaine's character comes to the brutal realization that she really is in love with Audrey Hepburn's character. It's hard to watch her grief and shame as she admits that the bullies have discovered a truth about her that she didn't know herself. A fact so many queer people can find relatable. The film is based on a play by Lilian Hellman which used the topic of homosexuality to expose the cruelty of female narcissists who bully their way into power. There is much in common with Hellman's The Little Foxes in that way, but the film, perhaps owing to Wyler's inherent romanticism has more of a Romeo and Juliet quality than the play. One feels that Audrey Hepburn has perhaps realized the truth in the lie, just a few moments too late.

Sweet Charity (1969)*** Directed by Bob Fosse, starring Shirley MacLaine and Sammy Davis Jr and Chita Rivera this classic musical combines the best of Fossee's signature choreography, sixties pop show tunes and the psychadelic aesthetics of the late 60s. This and the Boyfriend have a lot in common, though I think the music in Sweet Charity is more solid and the contemporary setting makes it a tad edgier. MacLaine plays yet another flavor of sex worker, a dancehall hostess and paid companion who seeks to be elevated out of her life into respectability through marriage. The fiancee here is uptight and lacking in appeal and when he finally just flakes out in the final reel it's no great loss to the film.

Thief (1981)** Atypical heist film starring James Caan and Jim Belushi, directed by Miama Vice creator Michael Mann. You can see the beginnings of that iconic 80s TV show, in this movie which favors long scenes of action being edited to music with sparse dialog. Caan squares off against Tom Signorelli a local mob boss who dares to threaten Caan's wife played by Tuesday Weld.

#february 2024 #Jenny's Film Odyssey

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honeybeezgobzzzzz · 10 months

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𓅨 Your Fate is Sealed With Mine: Chapter Twenty-Three

Your Fate is Sealed With Mine: Y/N Burgess is the granddaughter of Alex and Paul, and after having spent so many summers at their manor and always wondering why she was forbidden from entering the basement, she descends the steps into the world of the Order. She broke out the being that had been trapped in that glass cage, but what does he want with her now that he is free?

Warnings: Morpheus is a Pouty/Sulky Boi, Reader Argues with Matthew Over Hotdogs, Hob is Amused by Morpheus’s Relationship with Reader, Morpheus is a Simp for Reader (And Doesn’t Know He’s Showing It).

To Note: Morpheus/Dream x Female!GranddaughterReader, based on Netflix’s ‘The Sandman’, Reader now has long-ish hair for plot reasons (Just so Morpheus can tug on it later).

Word Count: ~2.2k

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Morpheus was picking apart the bread loaf in his hands, flicking the tiny crumbs at the pigeons in front of him, pecking away at the grass. He had a conundrum on his hands. His bonded and consort defied him at almost every corner, constantly picked fights with him, and when you weren’t starting a fight, you were testing every bit of restraint he had to not take off with you and ravish you until the end of time. What kind of woman was capable of such a feat? Y/N Burgess. He had to choose the one human that vexed him to no end and could bring him to his knees with a single look. You had no idea the power you held over him.

He flicked another breadcrumb and watched as the pigeons eagerly fought over the morsel. Then a soccer ball was flying toward his head. Morpheus caught it without effort as a young man jogged over.

“Sorry, man. Nice catch, though.” The man said with a soft chuckle. Morpheus offered him the soccer ball once more. The man took it with another smile. “Thank you,” He turned away and walked passed Death slowly approaching Morpheus. She sat down next to him and rubbed her hands together. They sat in silence for a moment.

“What are you doin’?” Death asked, peering at the half-torn piece of bread in Morpheus’s hands.

“I’m feeding the pigeons,” Morpheus responded drolly.

“You do that too much, you know what you get?" Death questioned, leaning over with a smile. “Fat pigeons. That’s from Mary Poppins. Did you ever see it?”

“No,” Another period of silence. Death let out a sigh. Difficult and solitary as usual. Eons could go by and her brother wouldn’t change.

“Okay, so what's the matter?” She asked, giving her younger brother a look. He had his realm back, a woman who would always love him and be by his side, a loyal subject. What did he have to mope and pout about?

“What do you mean?” Morpheus questioned, taking another morsel of bread and throwing it to the waiting pigeons. The birds fought over the piece as Death snorted.

“I can tell something's wrong. I mean, look at you. Sittin' here, moping, pigeon-feeding. It's not like you.” She said, eying the pigeons once more. Feeding them couldn’t be this riveting, could it? No, not when he had Y/N Burgess as a bonded. No one could get bored with you around.

“No. Perhaps it isn't. I don't know what's wrong, but... You're right. Something is the matter.” Morpheus sighed, looking down at the bread he held. His fingers rotated and picked at it absentmindedly, his thoughts unsettled and unorganized. “When they captured me, I just had one thought. Vengeance. It wasn't as satisfying as I'd expected. Meanwhile, my kingdom had fallen apart. My tools long since stolen and scattered. And so I embarked upon a journey to find them. Which I did. I'm now more powerful than I have been in eons.”

“And yet... Here you are, feeding the pigeons.”

“You see, until then, I'd had a true quest. A purpose beyond my function and then suddenly, it was over, and... I felt disappointed. Let down. Empty. Does that make sense? I was so sure that once I got everything back, I'd feel good. But in some ways, I feel worse than when I started. I feel like... overwhelmed. I don’t know what to do to keep her happy and I fear that I will never be able to keep her safe from those who wish to hurt me. She’s so precious and delicate.”

“You could have called me, you know.” Death reminded her brother. “You’re not alone, how many siblings do you have? Six? And you didn’t ask any of us for help?”

“I didn't want to worry you,” Morpheus spoke in his defense.

“Oh, I don't believe it. Let me tell you something, Dream.” Death snatched the bread from Morpheus’s hands and brandished it at him. “And I'm only gonna say this once, so you better pay attention. You are utterly the stupidest, most self-centered, pathetic excuse for an anthropomorphic personification on this or any other plane. Feeling sorry for yourself because your little game is over and you haven't got the balls to go out and find a new one?”

“I didn't think you—“ Morpheus’s protest was short-lived as Death went off on him again.

“Exactly. You didn't think. Do you have any idea how much Y/N came to your defense when I spoke with her? Do you even appreciate the fact that you will have someone who will love you unconditionally for the rest of time? You have someone waiting for you, at home, and you’re here moping!”

“How do you know Y/N?” Morpheus questioned in confusion. “When did you speak with her? She never mentioned—“

“She was drunk off her arse over you, that’s what. Doesn’t even remember talking to me.” Death snorted in disgust. “Do you know what she said to me that night?” Morpheus said nothing. “She said that we didn’t deserve you, that you deserved siblings that actually acted like siblings. Went right off on me actually. She thinks the world of you, Dream. Don’t take that for granted.”

“I would never,” Morpheus replied quietly. “She has gotten me through many dark times.”

“Then why do you keep yanking her around like she’s on a leash? Do you not care for how she feels?” Now Morpheus was getting angry, how dare his sister insinuate that he would ever care so little for the one he had bound to himself? Had he not done everything he could to keep you safe from his enemies?

“I have many enemies, sister, surely you can understand why I feel the need to make sure that something so precious to me is protected? I can’t do that if I let my guard down,” Death rolled her eyes. “She is new to our world, I won’t let her get hurt any more than she already has. You know not what she has suffered.”

“You’re not getting it, Dream.” She stated, looking at him with raised eyebrows. “Y/N isn’t as defenseless as you think, and neither is she going to break. She’s got balls where you don’t.” His eyebrow went up incredulously. “And your enemies? If they know what’s good for them, they should be scared of her.”

It was about two days after you had woken that Morpheus had tracked you down. You were still giving him the relative cold shoulder regarding his cold feet but tried your best to remain cordial with him. He was complicated and it was probably centuries since his last relationship. He was rusty. Or at least that was what you were telling yourself to feel better. That rejection still hurt. At least you were finally venturing back into the waking world. You didn’t know exactly what you were going there for, but it would be nice to have a sense of normalcy.

Well, at least as normal as one could be with a talking raven and an Endless who couldn’t decide if he wanted you or not. No, that wasn’t right. He did want you, but for some ungodly reason, he did his best to stay as far away as possible. Fine then, you would simply enjoy yourself as much as you could, without him. See how he liked that.

So while Morpheus met up with whoever he was meeting with at a place called The New Inn, you sat outside, taking up a seat at a patio table. Matthew was standing on the table, cocking his head side to side as you stared off into the distance.

“What do you think he’s doing in there?” You questioned after a period of silence. Matthew did his bird form of a shrug.

“Who knows, he doesn’t seem like the type to have friends, let alone make one… but that’s what he told me. It sounds like they have history.”

“Trying to befriend Morpheus is like trying to befriend a rock.” You huffed out, leaning back in your seat and crossing your arms. “You aren’t going to get very far. He doesn’t want anyone even remotely close to him.”

“He cares for you,” Matthew protested like the saint of a raven he was. You let out a wry chuckle and shook your head, drumming your fingernails on the table.

“Hardly counts, he doesn’t have much of a choice.” You said in refute. “Every time I think I’ll get any form of affection, he starts pulling away and I— it hurts. I know he wants me but when he pulls away the sting of rejection puts even more cracks in my already chipped heart. Can’t he see that? Does he not see how much it hurts?”

Matthew hopped a few paces closer to you and picked at the sleeve of the light jacket you had on. Your eyes dropped down to his.

“I can’t say I understand him that well since I’m still new at this… and don’t repeat what I’m about to tell you because he’ll probably pluck all my feathers… but I think he’s scared,” Matthew explained, shuffling his wings nervously.

“What does a being like him have to be scared about? I’m a bumbling human who is now immortal and essentially, has no idea what she is doing.” You said, waving your hand about.

“Y/N, he’s never had a lasting relationship.” Matthew reminded you. “But you? You are what he will always have. You’re something that no matter what happens, he will always have you to return to. You aren’t going to be able to betray him, not in the way he fears. When has he ever had that kind of security?”

“I’m not a goddamn security blanket.” You mumbled out, planting your chin in hand and leaning against the tabletop. “But you have a point.”

“Yes, I do,” Matthew said proudly, his chest puffing out. “Now I’m starving, what do they have to eat around here?”

You looked around the immediate vicinity and didn’t find much.

“No idea, never been in this part of London before, but…” You pulled your phone from your jacket pocket and held it up for Matthew to see. “I’ve got yelp and we can certainly remedy that.”

Huddling over your phone, Matthew hopped closer and peered at the screen as you opened the yelp app and did a search of the area for restaurants that had takeout. Your thumb tabbed through a few listings and you found a highly-rated deli that was only a block or two away. The reviews raved about the sandwiches and by the time you were opening the menu your stomach was rumbling in excitement.

“Ooh, Ooh! I recognize that stand!” Matthew cried out in excitement, airing out a few bird noises as his eyes focused on something in the distance. Your eyebrow went up as your nose wrinkled. Hotdogs? Again!? Most definitely not.

“We’re going to the deli, the sandwiches are rated the best in the city,” You spoke as you scanned the rest of the deli menu, noting that there was a section for hotdogs. That would surely appease the flapping raven, would it not?

“Does it look like I can eat a sandwich Y/N!?” Matthew flapped his midnight wings in exaggerated emphasis. “No, I have wings. Wings which I cannot use to eat a sandwich!”

You pinched your forehead with a heavy sigh. Why did the raven have to have such an addiction to hotdogs? Given the amount he consumed, one would think that he would turn into one.

“The deli has a hot dog on the menu Matthew, we don’t have to go to a hot dog stand just to get one!” You spoke, waving your hand in front of you while opening up the maps app and rising to your feet.

“But the stall has the best hot dogs!” The bird complained. You rounded on him.

“We have had hot dogs for lunch the last three days!! I am having a damn sandwich for lunch and that is final, Matthew!” A movement to the side caught your attention, and turning in place, you saw Morpheus staring at you in amusement. Might as well ask him if he wanted one, he probably didn’t but it didn’t help to be polite. He might be acting like an arse to you, but you didn’t have to be one. “Do you want a bloody sandwich?” He blinked at you in puzzlement. “Do. You. Want. A bloody sandwich!?” Morpheus still looked confused and you finally shook your head, at your wit's end. “You know what, I’m just going to get you one. You are being entirely unhelpful, I’m done quarreling about this with a bird.”

“I’m a raven, thank you very much!” Matthew squawked back in outrage as you started marching your way in the direction your phone said to go. You ignored his irked complaint.

“Come along, Matthew, I’ll explain the hot dog options as we walk.” Matthew flapped after you, soaring down to land on your shoulder.

“Who is that again?” Hob questioned, thoroughly puzzled by what had just taken place. He had learned a little about the woman named Y/N Burgess, but he didn’t quite know what to expect. Certainly not that. Morpheus aired out a sigh.

“My consort.”

“Consort, eh?” Hob repeated looking up at Morpheus with a sly smile. “Never thought I’d see the day where you actually looked at a human let alone got into a relationship with one.”

Morpheus didn’t respond and continued to stare after the receding woman fondly. Observing his long-time friend, Hob was sure that the Endless didn’t even realize he was looking after Y/N with such a soft look. One of adoration. Oh yes, his prickly friend had changed in the years since they last met, and Hob was certain it was for the better.

Date Published: 10/31/22

Last Edit: 8/20/23

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