have i played splat toons before? no. did that stop me from putting larry in a paint battle game? not remotely

so cool that fanfiction won anne rice’s war on fanfiction

Bungou Stray Dogs fans watching s5 ep 11:

i think, for trauma survivors, especially those who were emotionally abused, invalidated, or gaslit, it is really important not to underestimate the significance of speaking bluntly about what happened to you. Forcing yourself not to beat around the bush, not to downplay what you went through with your words. say what happened, without any caveats, without any “but it could’ve been worse”, “but i might just be being overdramatic”, “but it wasn’t really THAT bad,” and so forth. sit with the discomfort until you can begin to let yourself realize that it WAS that bad, you WERENT being overdramatic, and even if it could’ve been worse you still didn’t deserve it. It’s almost like a form of reclamation, taking back your memories, taking back your life, even the difficult or gross parts, and refusing to let anyone change the narrative or tell you how you should feel anymore, even yourself. and it hurts and it’s scary and it feels weird and awkward and sometimes you want to convince yourself you’re lying, but i think sitting in those weird feelings and letting yourself admit that you really did go through trauma puts the power back in your hands to process things and be compassionate to yourself while you heal

pokemon stuff

The Watchers in my AU are meant to be complicated and confusing. It’s part of why Grian stays for so long, why he’s so conflicted and why it bothers him to the point of venting to Mumbo.

They can be very kind, they do love him, they compliment him on everything. He gets gifts and everything given to him.

But on the other hand, bc they love him, they can be critical, telling him why that and why this, not that not this, they have pretty high standards for Beings that have seen everything already, not easy to genuinely impress.

They give him food, as parental figures should, anything he asks, but that’s sorta the problem, he always has to ask, there’s no way around this, no independence. He can ask for ingredients to cook by himself, but they’ll watch him.

He’s given clothes to wear, always within Watcher standard, dark and loose garments, open for his wings. He’d honestly prefer brighter colours, but that’s not rly a choice.

They tell him he’s special, he was chosen, better than the rest, a champion, a hero, and while it pets his ego, he feels pressure, they went out on a limp for him and he still can’t do enough. There is so much guilt.

Being here in the end messes with his psyche a bit, he’s much shorter than everyone, he has to rely on everyone, they all treat him like a kid, petting his hair or moving him via his shoulders instead of asking. He accidentally leans into this sometimes as a subconscious coping mechanism, he cries easier than he thinks he should. Tantrums where he has to press his face into his hands, or grumble and stomp off. He always has to apologize.

Despite being treated like a child, he is a Watcher child, so he studies a lot, he trains a lot. If he throws up from training, that’s no excuse (well by Flora’s standards)

He does feel a sort of comfort or safety around Aether, She’s lenient with him, but they’re definitely still not equals. She still hides things from him She thinks is too serious, She’s still overtly positive. He thinks abt Her sometimes, in hindsight he knows it was a family dynamic, and he feels guilt abt this too.

The Watchers love him, but they are ultimately overbearing, overwhelming, and frankly quite scary if you don’t play by their rules. Grian has reason to be cautious, the silent threats that hang over his head, never directly said to him, but traitors are cast out, if you’re not worthy you don’t deserve these gifts of wings or eyes. I think he’s convinced if they ever find him they’ll rip his eyes out with talons.

He won’t admit that he likes the attention sometimes, when his efforts are acknowledged and/or praised, when his hair is brushed. He wants their approval.

However, this is the only ‘human’ contact he gets. He doesn’t have anyone else, so it’s taken with a grain of salt how genuine his feelings are abt the attention.

HEY- UHM----

Im sorry but the writers did not show Ed cleaning things up after he shot Izzy as a parallel when he started cleaning up after Stede left him so people could still say that he was healing and actually fine in s1ep10

Whenever I think about your Keir I think about Bethany telling Anders he reminds her of Malcom. I’m sure that won’t ever affect Keir ever.

bethany is my favourite mage bc she never misses with that psychic damage

but really he and anders aren’t even a thing in act 1 so it’s less like “PLEASE stop comparing my crush to our father” and more like “oh fuck off i spend my entire life trying to act like our dad and one (1) mage rolls up and suddenly he’s dad??”

Since we're both as unwell about him as we are I consider you to be someone who knows a fair amount and what do you genuinely think the real James Fitzjames would feel if he saw the Terror's depiction of him? (As in watching the whole show)

HUH good question. first of all i think he'd be a little discombobulated by the very experience of watching a tv show but personally i choose to believe he'd at least be happy he was made into one of the main characters?? and that so many cool and sexy insane people are obsessed with him now <3

having said that. as much as i love show!fitzjames they did nerf him down A LOT. they robbed him of the joyous whimsy that was such a characteristic trait of the real jokester supreme fitzjames (show!fitzjames also has little to no relationship with his irl lieutenant buddies which. sad.)

we also know now that. most probably. he was actually fully english so i can only imagine he'd be Not Pleased about the cairn scene to say it lightly lmao imagine you and your adoptive family making significant efforts throughout your whole life to disguise the fact of your illegitimate birth and then 150 years later some people make a high rating show where they babygirlify you not only spill your secret to the millions of people watching (or secrets, plural, and make you call yourself a fake as a cherry on top lol) but they also get it wrong and make it Even Worse (from a victorian englishman's perspective) like stop guys he's already dead lmfao

having said that. he would have loved the britannia costume and the your nails are a terror line. i know he would.

Q: Does Jiujiu ever talk to JL about his maternal grandparents? 

🍋: he speaks of them with respect. but if my jiujiu raised me like my grandparents did, i....

Kinda wanna see MK become more and more scared about who/ what he is, and Wukong is just “:0 omg you’re like me :D”

Road Trip 2/4 🏜️

Absolutely no smoking allowed in the car (cause it's Vince's baby... coffee and fastfood to go are already pushing the limit), but it's important to take breaks anyway when you're on the road for a while, crammed into a tiny, hot space together!

... to enjoy the new sceneries, stretch your legs, and give big hugs to make up for being stupid a little while earlier about something that doesn't even matter in the grand scheme of things.

I got my stress test and had the holt monitor put on today! The good news is my weird heart issues don't seem to be triggered solely by physical exertion (heart was still weird and was dizzy on sitting/standing up just like in previous tests, but my heart didn't get MORE weird when my heart rate increased). Which makes sense since half the time I'll literally just be laying in bed falling asleep or sitting at my PC when I feel it go through a little episode, so it's clearly happening ALL the time and not just when moving around. So that rules a few things out! Now I've got the heart monitor on, and I'll wear it for 5 days (meaning it can consistently catch what's going on) and I have to keep a little diary of what I'm doing whenever I have symptoms. It's progress!

hello can you please elaborate on your nimona post about movie ballister vs book ballister? would love to hear more if possible !

Yeah sure!

So, the post was something like "movie!Ballister who only saw Nimona as a monster for a second ,which almost killed her VS. book!Ballister who refused to ever saw Nimona as a monster, which almost killed her"

I turned the sentence that way to accentuate the "mirror" effect but the situations are actually very different

I'm gonna assume you (or anyone else reading the post) have both seen the movie and read the graphic novel, so of course this post will contain spoilers for both, which will be under the cut

Also if it doesn't answer your question please ask for precisions ^^

So, let's start with the movie, since I think it's the first one most people saw first and because it's the easiest to explain

It's pretty transparent I think, in the movie everyone see Nimona as a monster, they don't even know her but still believe she's evil and should die just for existing. "Monster" is a deshumanizing term, it's violent, and she rightfully hate being called one. Ballister, as everyone does, start by being frightened by her, but he get over his bias and end up seeing her as she is: just Nimona

But then Ambrosius bring him the scroll, and he doubt for a second, for a second he think she's really a monster and she really killed all those people (which she didn't, obviously) and Nimona see it, and she think that AGAIN her best friend only see her as a monster, she think that's all everyone will ever see in her, that she will ever be misunderstood and wished dead, and she tries to kill herself over it

The graphic novel is... less explicit about why exactly she tries to kill herself, and it's been a few months since I've read it last time, but I'll try to remember

In this version everything is much darker, every character is at least a little less of a good person, and for Nimona it means that she kills people. A lot. Nimona in the graphic novel fully start as a bad person and embrace this role. She likes killing and causing chaos, and is absolutely unapologetic about it. She still befriends Ballister who is also a little less of a good person, and doesn't care too much about people dying (he doesn't like it either, but it won't stop him from working with Nimona). They become close, they become friends, and along with Ballister we learn bits of Nimona's backstory, we learn about her traumas, we learn why she's like this and we also see that she can refrain her murder tendancy when asked to

The conflict between Ballister and Nimona start at maybe half the book, but it doesn't escalate into the whole... disaster that it does until the Institution captures her and try to experiment on her. To escape she splits in two, one part being her traumatized inner child, and the other being a violent manifestation of her pain, anger, sadness and rage. And the thing Ballister fail to understand, that he refuses to acknowledge at all, is that this dragon, this monster, IS Nimona. Sure it's not all that she is (which is what she pretend), but it is very much a part of herself, it's an inherent part of herself. She was made this way by years of abuse and trauma she never really tried to heal, she's violent because she's hurt. And while I think Ballister is partially right for refusing to believe her when she says it's her true self, that it always have, it doesn't really matter here because that's what she believes, that's how she see herself, and anyway it is a part of herself

And he refuses to accept it, and even ends up killing the dragon, partially because he didn't have much choice and, I think, partially because he still didn't saw it as a necessary part of Nimona

And then the inner child refused to go with him and prefers to stay alongside the dragon, even if it means dying with it

Knocking out and subsequently saving Minthara was worth it solely for this exchange