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whumpsday · 9 months

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my unhinged rant about the whumptober discourse, below the readmore for the benefit of ppl who dont wanna see that crap. im just gonna go insane if i don't say this somewhere bc i feel like i'm losing my mind

this drama is genuinely so mind-blowingly stupid it's unreal, and it's been bothering me so much that i just HAVE to talk about it or i'm gonna go insane, if for no other reason than to get it out of my system. i honestly never expected the whump community to go on the kind of bad-faith tirade that's taking place.

disclaimer right here that i do not support AI scraping creative works without permission (like chatgpt and a whole host of AI art programs do) or these AI-generated works being passed off as legitimate creative works. obviously that stuff is bad, and literally everyone on all sides of this agrees it's bad. i used chatgpt exactly once one week after it came out, before i knew how shit it was, and haven't touched AI stuff since. because it steals from creators and it sucks.

now:

saying "whumptober supports/allows AI" when their official policy says plain as day:

"we are not changing our stance from last year’s decision"

"we will not amplify or include AI works in our reblogs of the event."

"we discourage the use of AI within Whumptober, it feels like cheating, and we feel like it isn’t in the spirit of the event."

is bonkers! whumptober is a prompt list, there is nothing TO the event other than being included in the reblogs. they literally cannot stop people from doing whatever they want with the prompts.

someone could go out and enact every single prompt in real life on a creativity-fueled serial killing spree and the whumptober mods couldn't do shit about it. it's not like it's a contest you submit to. it's a prompt list! someone could take every single prompt from the AI-less whumptober prompt list, feed it into chatgpt right now, and post them as entries. and the mods of THAT wouldn't be able to stop them either. because it's a prompt list.

the AI-less event have also made just... blatantly false claims, like that grammarly isn't AI. grammarly IS AI and they openly advertise this. hell, this is grammarly's front page right now:

and this is a statement from grammarly about how its products work:

its spellchecker / grammarchecker is AI-based! claiming it's not AI is just... lying. saying "this is an AI-less event" and then just saying any AI that you want to include doesn't count as AI is ludicrous.

and you know what? whumptober actually pointed this out. they said they don't want to ban AI-based assistive tools (like grammarly) for accessibility reasons. this post has several great points:

"AI is used for the predictive text and spellchecker that's running while I type this reply."

"Accessibility tools rely on AI." this is true and here's an article about it, though the article is a little too pro-AI in general for my tastes, there's nuances to this stuff. it's used for captioning, translation, image identification, and more. not usually the same kind of AI that's used for stuff like chatgpt. THERE ARE DIFFERENT KINDS!

"But we can't stop that, nor can we undo damage already done, and banning AI use (especially since we can't enforce it) is an empty stand on a hill that's already burning, at least in our view of things."

and people were UP IN ARMS over this post! their notes were full of hate, even though it's all true! just straight lying and saying that predictive text isn't AI (it is), that AI isn't used for accessibility tools (it is), that whumptober can somehow enforce an anti-AI policy (they can't because it's a prompt list).

in effect, both whumptobers have the EXACT SAME AI POLICY. neither allows AI-generated works, but both allow AI-based assistive tools like grammarly. everyone involved here is ON THE SAME SIDE, they all have the exact same opinion on how AI should be applied to events like this, and somehow they're arguing???

not to mention that no other whump event has ever had an AI policy. febuwhump, WIJ, bad things happen bingo, hell even nanowrimo doesn't have one.

and you wanna know the most ridiculous part of this entire thing? which is also the reason why none of the above events have an AI policy.

no one is doing this. no one is out there feeding whumptober prompts to chatgpt and posting them as fills for whumptober cred. it's literally a hypothetical, made-up issue. all of this infighting over a problem that DOESN'T EXIST.

to the point that people are brigading the whumptober server with shit like this:

saying "everyone who participates in whumptober is a traitor, you should go participate in this other event with the exact same AI policy but more moral grandstanding about it" is silly. every single bit of this drama is silly.

in the end, please just be nice to people. we're ALL against the kind of AI that steals from creators. the whumptober mods are against AI, the AILWT mods are against AI, whumptober participants are against AI, AILWT participants are against AI. there is no mythical person out here trying to pass chatgpt work off as whumpfic. let's all just be civil with each other over this, yeah?

#txt

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lucy90712 · 10 months

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Hey can u do something with Gavi

He falls in love with a singer but they can’t be together because she’s going on tour.. and he can’t let go easily😅🫣

WC: 2.1k

Being a singer has always been my dream since I was little so I worked tirelessly taking singing lessons for many years and now I've made it. I was lucky enough to have one of my songs blow up on tiktok and since then I have only grown in popularity. As much as this is something I wanted growing so much fame in such a short amount of time and only at the age of 18 is a lot to handle, I have had to grow up really quickly as everyone always expects so much of me and I don't want to disappoint. It all means I don't really have much of a normal life I am always away from home and I don't have any friends anywhere near my age as I just don't have time for them and don't even get me started on relationships my love life is literally nonexistent.

As much as there is a lot of pressures in my life there are times that I really enjoy myself and the last few weeks has been one of those times. I have spent the last few weeks in Barcelona exploring, writing and recording songs for my next album. My management suggested that I go somewhere more peaceful than busy London to write so I chose to go to Barcelona as I've always wanted to go and I thought that being somewhere new and exciting would help inspire me. Being here really has helped I've never written such good songs so quickly it's like just being in the city has got my creative juices flowing like never before. I wrote so many songs I had to have multiple meetings to decide which ones to actually put on the album, which ones to save and other ones we could offer to other artists as there is no way I could use them all.

Sadly now my quiet time has come to an end as I am doing a whole load of interviews to promote my new album and the new single from it which is due to come out first. As I didn't have any say the schedule is pretty hectic so my alarm woke me up at 6am this morning to be ready for my first interview on morning tv at 7. From there I had a few radio interviews before finally getting a bit of a break to eat lunch which I desperately needed. On my break I went on tiktok like I often do but my for you page was just filled with edits of Barcelona players. It is partly my fault as I keep liking them but still they started popping up as soon as I got here without me even doing anything. I must admit some of the players are definitely hot but watching the edits has got me into watching the games on tv at the weekend and I'm really enjoying them.

My break didn't last long as I had to head to film a few videos with a company the first of which was just a little Q&A which I've done plenty of so I pretty much know what will be asked. When I arrived I was asked if there was anything they weren't allowed to ask so I said no as I don't mind sharing most things. They fit me with a microphone and then we got started pretty much straight away. To begin with it was all just simple things like how I got started in music and things about my life but then we moved on to more juicy questions.

"So everyone wants to know are you single?" The interviewer asked

"Yes I am despite all the rumours I'm still single now is just not the time for a relationship as I'm so busy" I said

"Then what do you think about what Barcelona player Gavi has said about you?" She asked

"I haven't seen what he's said actually" I replied

"In an interview yesterday he was asked who his celebrity crush was and he said you" she explained

"I don't think anyone has ever listed me as their celebrity crush so that's pretty cool and being honest Gavi's pretty attractive so it feels good that he likes me" I admitted

"So can we expect to see the two of you together at any point?" She asked

"Well I've never spoken to him but I'd love to go to a game before I leave so maybe one day we will meet each other" I said

I was asked a few more questions but the whole time I was thinking about the fact that Gavi actually knows who I am and called me his celebrity crush. Out of everyone he could pick he chose to say me which makes no sense to me but I can't lie I quite like it.

Gavi's POV

Just as I got out of the shower after training I had about 5 phones shoved in my face and all the boys were talking at once so I couldn't understand a thing they were saying. Eventually they stopped freaking out and Pedri handed me his phone so I could see what had them so excited. In front me me was a video of y/n being asked about me after I stupidly said she was my celebrity crush in an interview but to my surprise she said that she thought I was attractive too. That's when I started freaking out just like the boys I mean it's not every day that the most attractive girl you've ever seen says she likes you too especially not a famous one. All the boys were trying to encourage me to dm her and I wanted to but what do I say and what if she never sees it I mean she must gets thousands of dms a day.

"Come on bro just do it what could go wrong" Pedri said

"What if she never sees it and even worse what if she sees it and ignores it that would be so embarrassing" I said

"You have to dm her this is your chance she's here in Barcelona and she just said you're attractive in an interview this is your chance to get the girl" Ansu encouraged

"Ok fine I'll do it but what do I say?" I asked

~~~~~~~~~~

Pablogavi: hey I know you are in Barcelona at the moment and you said you wanted to attend a game could you make it this weekend I'd love to show you around

Seen

~~~~~~~~~~

Your POV

When I first saw the dm from Gavi I freaked out for ages before being able to think of a reply that didn't sound wrong but eventually I managed it. That weekend he got me tickets to their game and then afterwards we met so we could actually speak to each other for the first time. He was so incredibly sweet and even more attractive in person which I didn't think was even possible. After talking for a while he showed me around the stadium quickly before inviting me out to celebrate their win with the team.

Since that day we have spent quite a bit of time together, when I can I go and watch his training sessions and then at the end of the day I go to his place and we spend the evenings watching movies together. I have had the best time but sadly it must come to an end as I leave to head back to the UK in a few days to continue doing more media. The worst part about it is that Pablo has an away game this weekend so when I leave he won't even be here to say goodbye which means today is the last time we will see each other until one of us has some free time. Even the thought of leaving him is making me really sad as I've really enjoyed every second I've spent with Pablo but that's not it I've really developed feelings for him over the last few weeks and to leave that behind and just forget about it will be hard. Part of me wants to confess my feelings tonight but the rest of me knows it's a bad idea because us being in a relationship could never work as we would never get to spend any time together.

As it's my last days here I made sure I had nothing to do so I could actually enjoy my time plus Pablo has a free day too so we can spend the whole day together. Even though I wanted to sleep in I got up as Pablo said he wanted to go for breakfast together so I dragged myself out of bed and into the shower. By the time I was ready I already had a text from Pablo telling me he was on his way to the apartment I've been staying in. Having got to know Pablo I knew he would be forgotten to text me and would've text while stopped somewhere so he was probably almost here so I grabbed my bag and shoes and waited by the door. Just as I finished tying my shoes the doorbell rang and the second I opened it Pablo engulfed me in a hug. As he pulled away he quickly kissed my cheek which I learnt is just something he does as the first time it took me by surprise but it still makes me blush every time.

After breakfast Pablo took me to back to my apartment so I could get changed as he wanted to take me to the beach. Once we arrived we walked along the waters edge together until we found a spot to sit that was quiet and where we would hopefully not be disturbed at all. Just as I finished putting on sunscreen and went to lay down in the sun Pablo picked me up over his shoulder with ease and ran towards the water. Before I knew it Pablo had thrown me into the cold water but luckily my reflexes are quick enough to allow me to grab onto him so that he came down with me. As we came up from the water we were slightly further in than I anticipated so my feet didn't reach the floor which meant I went back under the water for a second but before I could begin to keep myself afloat Pablo put his hands on my waist to hold me up.

Blood rushed to my cheeks in an instant and butterflies formed in my stomach as I felt Pablo's hands on my skin. Time seemed as if it was standing still as our eyes were locked together and a pink tint was evident on our cheeks. I have never felt so strongly for someone like I did in that moment it just felt right having Pablo's hands on me and I couldn't picture being in that moment with anyone else on earth.

"Y/n" Pablo whispered bringing me back to reality

"What is it?" I asked

"I know you are leaving soon and I can't let you go without telling you that I've really fallen for you in the last few weeks" he admitted

"I've fallen for you too but it's never going to work out" I said

"Why not?" He asked desperately

"Because we are never going to see each other my management are already talking about a tour and you are always away playing and I don't want a relationship where we only see each other when we happen to both have a spare moment" I explained

"Then it won't be like that I know any chance I get I would come and see you wherever and any breaks you get I know you would come and be with me plus we can talk on FaceTime everyday in the meantime" he said

"Please I've never felt like this before and I can't just let you go you can't tell me you don't want to at least try and give it a go" Pablo practically begged

"You're right I need to not be so scared and give this a go, so does this mean we're dating now" I said

"Absolutely it does I don't want another second to go by where you're not mine" he said

As soon as he finished talking Pablo pulled me in and pressed his lips against mine in the most magical kiss I think I've ever experienced. In that moment I knew I made the right decision as when something feels so right I don't see how it could go wrong. I trust the universe to make sure things work out for us and to help us get through the hard times that are bound to arrive. Who knows maybe soon I'll be able to write a love song that actually means something to me about the unexpected romance I have found myself in.

#pablo gavi imagine #gavi imagine #gavi imagines #gavi #pablo gavi imagines

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destinyc1020 · 2 months

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sorry destiny, i am huge tom fan believe me, but i agree with what the anon said, i understand that u can like a movie that others dont thats not what i am saying but out of the MCU and throw in uncharted, tom's acting skills aside because we both hes fantastic, his projects have been misses, in terms of overall quality, reviews & numbers, TDATT, CW, Cherry, TCR. yes u may have liked some of them but numbers were bad, in a sense they flopped. most of these projects he chose when he was still pretty young and green and the only project he chose post covid was i think TCR and it was amazing but people weren't patient and it was slow at first. and i think since then he has grown a lot more and u can tell, its obvious the way he views things and the way hes picking his projects are diff now so hopefully things go well for him in the future in terms of success outside popcorn movies.

I mean, we can all have different viewpoints on films or actors, and that's fine! 🤷🏾‍♀️ I don't think anyone doubts that Tom is talented.

I understand some fans haven't enjoyed his projects in the past several years. I know for me personally, I've enjoyed 90% of Tom's films....whether they were successes at the box office or NOT. Most of his work I didn't even see in theaters. I saw at home.

The only films of Tom that I've actually seen in theaters are The MCU films (of course), The Current War, The Impossible (before I even knew who Tom Holland was lol), Uncharted (of course lol), and Spies in Disguise! Everything else of his, I've seen at home.

RE: TCR....

I actually enjoyed TCR, but if I had one critique, I would say that Akiva took a little TOO long to get to the point and kind of treated us as viewers like we were too dumb to get the "twist". Most of us knew or got the twist w/in the first episode lol. He really could have spent more time focusing on other things imo. Don't get me wrong, I actually think Akiva had a very ingenious, sympathetic, and creative way of showing what's actually going on when someone suffers from DID (and why they may end up having it), and it was done in a way I'd personally never seen done onscreen before. But I just feel like he should have given us as the audience a little more credit. We could have known from the very beginning that he suffered from DID, but maybe not know who exactly his alters actually were. There were many things that could have been done differently. And I think some of the critics purposely gave TCR LOW reviews to spite Akiva, because apparently he didn't even want DID or "multiple personalities" to be written in any of the early reviews coming out for the series, in order to preserve the "twist". But umm.... Everyone saw it coming a mile away bro lol 😅

So...I really think his tactic of trying to keep the audience in the dark felt a bit laborious after a while, and it's like, "WE GET IT man... we've already figured it out!" We didn't need several episodes prolonging things. But hey, I still enjoyed TCR Summer last year lol, and it was very enjoyable to watch Tom in a series (for a change) every single week! 😊

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amberautumnfaebrooke · 10 months

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idk you guys i think you may just not have a full grasp of the complexities of getting audiences to watch movies

i have seen a lot of posts reading some variation on "studios are going to learn from barbenheimer to release two DIFFERENT movies concurrently when they should be learning to release two GOOD movies," a take i find absolutely infuriating. like, just to begin with, people don't often... choose to make bad movies. movies are really really hard to make, and it's famously impossible to know whether anyone will like the damn thing until it's already basically done. if you're a studio exec and you're planning your slate for next year, do you go with the weird experimental movie made by an up-and-coming with few-to-no features under their belt? sometimes you end up with a gem, but at least as often it flops and ends up costing you a bunch of money. what about established directors who regularly give you good stuff? sometimes nolan will give you his most well-received work since the batman stuff, and sometimes olivia wilde will turn in don't worry darling and audiences will turn their noses up. "make good movies" is not actionable advice.

not that being a good movie is actually any guarantee people will see it. in my opinion, the best movie released so far this year is past lives, and i'm not alone in that. the reviews are unanimously glowing, the letterboxd for it is basically all overwhelming praise. and that movie made barely 10mil. how much have you heard anyone talking about that movie? how many people do you know who've seen it? it wasn't an especially limited release, it's probably still showing at your local amc.

now how many people do you know who have seen the dungeons and dragons movie?

that's not a dig on the d&d movie, i like the d&d movie! i'm just saying, the truth is, there are few sure bets in this business. the success of a movie is a combination of its quality, its marketing, pure dumb luck, and yes, i'm sorry, star power and brand recognition.

we've all seen and made a thousand posts about how hollywood has no new ideas. complaining about reboots and sequels has been a stale observation for decades. but i also haven't seen the "no sequels or reboots" crowd get as excited any anything this year as they have about across the spider-verse and barbie. two excellent movies! which, be really honest with yourself, you would have been less likely to have seen if you weren't already excited about the property! barbenheimer isn't just two good movies. it's two good movies audience members already have reference points for.

i think this is a really human reaction. there is so much media at this point in history, constantly competing for your attention, and you can't possibly pay attention to it. so, as a heuristic, you look for reference points. i don't pay attention to AAA video games in general, but you bet your ass that when they announce the last of us part 3 i'm going to take notice, because i connected so strongly with the second one, but if they released basically the same game with a different name i might not ever hear about it.

there's that post where craig mccraken says he pitched cartoon network like seventeen original shows and they rejected everything until he suggested a powerpuff girls reboot, and everyone went "wow, the horrible studio execs are stifling creativity," and i just... i mean, are you really convinced you would watch those original shows? that your cousins would? that caitlin, a 32 year old single mom in michigan would put that on for her kids?

this isn't me saying "i don't care if movies are good" or "i'm glad they make so many sequels and reboots." this is me saying "you are not immune to branding" and "audiences have some share of responsibility for how things are" and "find a way to seek out media you're less familiar with."

i do that by seeing a movie in theaters once a week, but you can do it by giving yourself themed prompts when deciding what to watch, picking an album of the week, joining a book or movie club, or just asking friends for recommendations.

there is so so much out there that is exactly up your alley, that is weird and different and fresh, but the niche stuff won't come to you. you have to find it.

#barbie #oppenheimer #barbenheimer #past lives

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futureworkplace · 20 days

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Progress Update #4

What's Been Happening

To put it simply, I've just been working constantly on my game. I recently put in a couple of imagemaps for a few sections of the game, albeit in a drafty stage, and added more code for specific action and story direction. I've added more to my story tree as well, but I think there still needs to be more done.

What's Next?

More work. Not much more past that and not much less, I basically need to go into turbo mode and turn on all my creative fountains to get things done in time.

More story tree additions, more art, and more programming. Just more of everything at this point.

Hiccups, Hurdles and AHA! Moments

A hiccup I had was a power outage yesterday, hindering a lot of my progress and pushing my update back a day. I recovered mostly from it though.

A hurdle I came across, and may not be able to get around, is how to implement a "buff/debuff" system for the player. After toying around with the code, I have led myself to believe that there is no way to do it properly and it'd take either

A) A stronger, more versatile engine

B) A lot more complex coding

And I'm not sure I can do either of those options. In the end, I decided to remove the system and will be continuing development without it.

My biggest AHA! moment was figuring out how to program moving around the living space a player would be in and what it would look like. I created a floor plan for the area and made some pretty alright first drafts for the areas. I'll be linking a video that shows this.

Where I am on my Timeline

Definitely still very far behind. I haven't gotten ANY playtesting done, outside of my own personal playtesting to make sure code is functioning. As for the player experience, I have yet to find out if players would enjoy this game and the mechanics I have laid out. I'm planning on working hard enough that I will have something presentable at least within the week. If I don't, I think I'm going to have to downscale this deliverable once again to meet deadlines/what I want done, and I don't really want to do that.

Some Visual Documentation

Here's some BTS of me doing speed art for a single interactable background for the game. I can't upload more than one video, so here's what I've got

I haven't done the kitchen yet lol

#game design #game development #remote work #progress update #senior capstone #senior project #python #renpy #crunch time

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thesamoanqueen · 9 months

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The thing that gets me about even bringing up how he was perceived prior to returning in 2020 is HE didn't even like the character and was doing the best he could with what he was given. He was so unhappy that he was going to leave if he didn't get to be the Tribal Chief. People act like the story is what it is because WWE is hoarding all the good writing for the BL and ignoring that Roman finally has creative control of his character. If it could be replicated, wouldn't they have done it already after three years? And that's not to say there haven't been other great stories, there definitely have been, but it's not the same thing as a story where people are so invested that one segment from a weekly show (not even a PPV) will have 20 million views in less than a week.

Also I need people to make up their mind about what the problem with Roman is. Cause he takes up so much time that could go to the rest of the talent and if they had that time they could be as over as him but they also complain he's a part timer so what exactly is being done with all that Romanless time? It's almost like if he wasn't there you weren't gonna get that time anyway which is the booker's fault, NOT his.

Oh sis, but we are talking about two big problems at the bottom of all the controversies born around this storyline.

The first is that the story of the Bloodline is written by Roman, but nobody, not even the WWE (for obvious reasons) admits the truth. WWE writers can't write. They have less talent than me when I decide to give vent to my fantasies, I put aside the rules and logic of this job, to write a fanfiction. They write badly and consequently create badly their characters, the wrestlers. Roman planned in his free time a better story than them doing this job, he took control, he played it smart by calling Heyman and Hayes before convincing Vince, he made for the first time the big voice and he was right. Because in addition he took with him talented people and in whom he had total trust, who helped him unconditionally by adding their own talent and ideas, like the Usos, to his own. And he did it all because WWE was mishandling him and in his opinion, mine too, even mishandling his family.

The second big problem is how the majority of people see this man. Crowds people and the IWC is a thing, but among those who work in their business he has always been seen as a person who gives everything and now, because of this visibility, they too are changing their opinion. And I don't doubt that there's a bad mood about big roster issues, but there are people making serious accusations when during PLEs are sent eight hundred commercials to remind people what they're watching instead of giving them actual matches. There are people who talk about stolen time, when Mr. Rhodes makes three entrances with his entire music in a single episode of Raw even when he only has to say two words. When they give time to Seth, silent in the ring, allowing fans to stop Finn in his in ring promo. And I can go on... But ofc its Roman and his family too, they're better targets and they're on top for years now so the stolen time its their fault and with it, everything else. But the real reason its that they're on top, he is on top, they even getting better month after month, year after year, and the WWE have still not find someone to replace him and them. The sad thing is that now the other talents, unlike a few years ago, are feeling the abyss that came out with this storyline, they feeling how much they are left behind, but if they are there its not Roman's fault or the storyline, because him and the story have it gave momentum to a lot of people and those people now, they're slowly coming back because they're not in the story anymore, not because they're worth less or Roman is stealing their time. Sami and KO are wonderful, unique, but now they're again WWE toys like they were before the story with Roman and they are just the most simple example.

#this riot is awful really and im proud of him and his ass on vacation leaving people talking behind #ask me

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gloomysoup · 2 months

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i'm about to go on a bit of a personal ramble here for a minute. i feel like i have a lot to say and no one to say it to, and i feel like my blog has become this safe space for me to say those things. i've shared pieces of myself (my creative work) that i haven't shared with other people before. so i'm going to get a little more personal. if you want to read, great. if not, that's fine too. maybe we'll all get something out of this. maybe we won't. either way, it's here.

i've lived in the same county, with the same people, for twenty years. twenty years in a small, conservative, god-fearing place. every single household in my neighborhood goes to church every sunday. they have bible study in my neighborhood for the adults that meets every week. i've grown up around a lot of small-mindedness when it comes to social issues. which put a lot of strain on my mental health, growing up different from anyone else. i never really fit in, even in my friend groups. there's this expectation that everyone seems to have.

i always knew i was different. there was something about me. there's a lot of things, actually, but i really just want to focus on one in particular. i never had an interest in boys. not once. i didn't really think much of it until other people my age made comments about it. i never had a boyfriend, aside from once in probably first or second grade. and we were friends, only "dated" for maybe two days. that was that. i don't really ever count it. dating never seemed like a very big deal to me for a long time. i was much more focused on school and sports. eventually i realized i was a lot more interested in girls than i ever was in boys.

i fought thru a lot of internalized stuff before i came to the conclusion that i was absolutely 100% definitely a lesbian (along w a lot of trial and error in the form of awkward college experiences). i had a lot of issues throughout middle and high school that i don't particularly need to get into. all that really matters is now.

this year, i made a vow to myself. id do more to truly love myself. to be who i am, unashamedly. i made a few changes to my diet (eating healthier, listening to the advice my doctor gave me ten years ago that i should have listened to back then, actually eating regularly for the first time in years). i got a new job, which i actually really enjoy despite how tired i always am. i love the kids i work with. my coworkers are amazing. which brings me to the latest decision i've made in an effort to keep my promises to myself.

i'm done hiding. i don't want to feel ashamed of who i am just because it doesn't fit the mold. up until recently, i've been pretty selective about who i tell that i'm gay. i never wanted it to get back to my family. i didn't want them to know. i'm still not sure i do, but it's time i stop trying to walk on eggshells all the time. i'm not sure i'll be able to say anything outright, but i don't want to hide it away anymore. i don't want to pretend to be someone i'm not. i don't want to put up more masks every time i leave the safety of my room.

i'm going to a concert in june. pride month. the concert is for my favorite queer artist. i don't want to hide my excitement at finally getting to see her live just because i'm afraid of what people will say. i don't want to carefully think through every little thing before i say something or do something, just in case it's a little too gay to brush off.

i think this is finally the year i embrace myself for who i am. maybe i'll even finally go to a pride event and post pictures. i don't want to be afraid anymore. i don't want to hide anymore. maybe this will backfire on me. maybe it won't. i guess i won't know unless i try.

#gloomysoup #gloomysoup rambles #personal rant

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itstimetodrew · 3 months

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A tag meme! Haven't done this in a long time :o

15 questions

Tagged by @gaycey-sketchit :3

1. Are you named after anyone?

Nope! My parents couldn't really agree on a name and then one day just went "How about Natalie?" "...hm yeah okay". I narrowly avoided being 1 of millions of Emilys.

2. When was the last time you cried?

I cried pretty bad when I saw All of Us Strangers a couple weeks ago. Would recommend lol

3. Do you have kids?

Drew.......is my child.....

But no and I don't really plan on it. I do think I'd make a good mom tbh but I'm not gonna just run out and adopt a kid and be a single mom. MY mom could raise me herself but that wasn't a choice, and certainly not one I'd choose for myself either 😭

4. What sports do you play/have you played?

DDR is the closest thing I have lol I'm getting back into it this year! Finally busting in my metal pads and revisiting my many many games :)

5. Do you use sarcasm?

Very much, yes

6. What is the first thing you notice about people?

Voice maybe? I've never really thought about it 🤔

7. What's your eye color?

Gray!

8. Scary movies or happy endings?

I guess happy endings? I mostly avoid horror as a genre because movies scare me easily even if it's dumb 😭

9. Any talents?

I guess just a general sense of creativity. I've always liked to draw since I was a kid, then the video editing came as a teenager lol

10. Where were you born?

Ohio, and they don't let me out except on certain occasions

11. What are your hobbies?

It seems like my hobbies come and go in waves. Art has been on the back burner for a while, I've been editing a bit more lately. Movies became a big one, I watched over 150 movies last year. 👀

12. Do you have any pets?

TOMO!!! He is 10, got him from a humane society when he was 4. I love him very much. 🥰

13. How tall are you?

5'7"! well......nearly.

169cm for the metric crowd

14. Favorite subject in school?

I loved chemistry in high school but a lot of that probably came from having a crush on the teacher lol. NOT a biology fan. English and math classes were also good (but not geometry yuck)

15. Dream job?

Idk if I have one? I'm happy with what I'm doing now! My goal is to just keep a job that feels good and then focus all those dream goals for when I'm not at work. I want to travel and eat well and spend time with people!

Tagging @ellcrys @red-dyed-sarumane @thebearemoji @ikari-cat but it's optional lol and feel free to sub any question your heart desires

#tag meme

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struggle-but-its-all-ocean-floor · 7 months

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You asked: “If Jungkook didn't impress you, and you already knew of BTS and had a positive impression of them yet that wasn't enough for you to become interested, how did you become Army?”

To answer, I’d like to recommend an article from “The New Yorker.” I can’t include links in an anonymous ask, but you can search for “How BTS Became One of the Most Popular Bands in History,” by E. Tammy Kim in the June 21, 2022 issue. The author is Korean-American, so she has a connection to Korean culture that I don’t have, but a lot of this article paralleled my feelings. Her premise at the start of the piece is just curiosity: “To continue ignoring the BTS phenomenon was to risk missing something bigger than Beatlemania.” By the end of the article, she’s Army.

After the Good Morning America show this summer, I went back to watch that 2019 BTS performance on GMA. I don’t know why I suddenly became more curious about them this time, when I haven’t before—maybe I just couldn’t escape the cascade of BTS content that YouTube recommended after I searched for “BTS GMA Central Park.” But like E. Tammy Kim, I had a feeling like this was something I couldn’t ignore anymore.

People talk about going down the rabbit hole, and I went down it—hard. There’s just SO MUCH. When Kim started writing her “New Yorker” piece, a friend warned her, “This is the hardest story you’ve ever done,” referring to the sheer volume of BTS material she’d need to explore. I was astounded by the bottomless depths of it. But about a week into this deluge of content (which I was consuming in no chronological order), I came to an inflection point: the video of this “Black Swan” live performance from 2020: again, can’t include a link, but it’s on YouTube: BTS (방탄소년단) - Black Swan [Music Bank / 2020.02.28].

Up until that point, I’d still been thinking of BTS as a pop group. An extraordinarily prolific and astonishingly charismatic one, but still, within the bounds of the everyday. Something about that performance brought me to a hard stop. Suddenly I realized that…*BTS* was a work of art. Not “artists” in the literal meaning of “people who make a living in the arts.” Something bigger than that: BTS *itself* is the art. It’s the music, it’s video, it’s live performance, it’s livestreams, it’s freakin’ Run BTS, it’s Bangtan Universe, it's who they are as themselves, it's their relationship with each other and with Army...it’s *all of it.* I got so emotional about the whole thing that I had a sudden fit of sobbing. The less said about that, the better.

A few weeks later, I found that “New Yorker” article and I was so grateful, because a passage in it perfectly articulated what I’d felt: “…BTS mastered the craft of storytelling across platforms—what contemporary scholars call “transmedia” and what Heidegger called the “total work of art,” or Gesamtkunstwerk.”

The definition of Gesamtkunstwerk is “an artwork, design, or creative process where different art forms are combined to create a single cohesive whole.” See…that’s it. That’s what got me. The *wholeness* of BTS that transcends “pop.” It’s something so few artists have been able to do that it feels uncanny, almost mystical when it does happen. I find it indescribably compelling. I don’t know if that makes me Army or not, but here I am.

Just to bring things down to earth, I also just really, really, *REALLY* adore Suga. Sometimes I have an RM kind of day (as one does) but Suga and the whole Agust D universe? That’s…yeah. I have Agust D fan art in my house now and it’s *beautiful.* So you asked if I had a bias, there it is!

Thank you so much for being curious! I adore your blog and I’ve literally had no one to talk to about any of this, so forgive me for rambling on!

--A Muggle

Thank you so much for writing this. It's beautiful! RM would be proud.

I haven't read that interview, but it's great that it touched you and inspired you! It's funny that it was a music show performance of Black Swan that got to you. When you said Black Swan, I immediately thought you'd bring up the infamous MMA performance! But all Black Swan performances are good performances!

Agust D is my favorite member musically, and I relate to Suga so much! I don't know how you found my blog, but it probably wasn't because of my many reviews of his work?

Thank you for loving my blog, that makes me really happy!!! You can always come rant to me. You wrote so beautifully that I don't even know how to reply, but this ask has to be one of the best I've ever received! BTS *are* art indeed.

And you aren't a Muggle anymore! That can still be your nickname though! You're Army now. Welcome, first time with BTS?

Thanks for the ask!

#ask #bts #text #thanks for the ask!#this is such a beautiful story

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apenvs3000w23 · 1 year

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A Rainy Day...

Before I start, let me paint the picture of what I am doing at this point in time. So here I am, sitting at my desk at the time I have allotted to complete this blog post. I am on my computer staring at a blank word document for what feels like forever. It's raining outside, so I feel comfortable and a bit more reluctant to complete this task. Cars are passing by, but I haven't heard a single soul outside yet, which is strange because it's 1pm. I am reflecting on the fact that throughout the entire day, I always have what feels like 1000 different thoughts in my head at once that don't let me have a moment of silence. But right now. With all the power in the world to talk about anything I wish, my mind is blank and quiet.

It's amusing to me that no boundaries were set for this week, and I have the chance to be creative, but I am at a loss. When I really think about it, I am a bit fearful! Why can't I decide on one thing? Am I too reliant on others or my phone? Can I not think for myself? But then I take a step back and remind myself that we are in a challenging part of the semester. I have assignments like no other, midterms coming up, and my body has been wrapped in stress for far too long. So? It's okay that I couldn't think of something right away. I'm tired, and school has been a lot.

So instead of talking about things that stimulate the brain, let's talk about how powerful weather, seasons and conditions are to us. Because as I look outside on this cold rainy day, all I want to do is stay inside, close my school work and watch a movie. The act of leaving my apartment right now feels like the largest chore. It is so funny because yesterday it was 6 degrees Celsius and sunny, and I was so upbeat and wanted to stay out the whole day.

However, today, my day started completely different because I woke up to the sound of rain. I think that's pretty powerful, don't you think?

I don't know about you, but when the sun started setting at 4:30pm in late November to December, I was struggling. As someone who likes to get things done during the day, trying to get work done when it is dark felt impossible. My roommates and I found each other getting ready for bed at 6pm and would only realize once we checked the time. We felt so tired, and it ultimately affected all of our work patterns and mental states. Seasonal depression is so real. It's hard to stay so upbeat when the day ends so early. Nowadays, the sun is setting at 5:30pm, and things are starting to feel much better. Although I am still anxiously waiting for the warmth of summer and those long summer months when the day doesn't end until 9pm.

I guess I am trying to say is that sometimes you must take a step back to see how often we are affected by nature. It's okay if you wake up feeling down on a cold rainy day with no intention to move. Seasons and weather are so powerful! It subconsciously affects us every day without us even knowing sometimes.

Here is a picture that was taken at 9:07pm in June.

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colorisbyshe · 1 year

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Do you mind if I ask your top 10 favorite characters (can be male or female) from all of the media that you loved (can be anime/manga, books, movies or tv series)? And why do you love them? Sorry if you've answered this question before.....Thanks...

Thank you for asking!!!!! Love a chance to talk about myself.

The way I got this ask and like IMMEDIATELY forgot any piece of media I have ever consumed?? If I forgot any of my faves... sorry to them!!

Also, a running theme for most of my faves is that they have overcome being otherized and/or trauma and came out being pettier and more self righteous, lol.

Uchiha Sasuke from Naruto. Pettiest bitch alive and he DESERVES IT! Should be pettier.

Wei Wuxian from MDZS/The Untamed. Went through hell, kinda literally, and did awful things but still chose to do the right thing, every single fucking time.

Fenris from Dragon Age. Watching him emerge from such an awful place and learn to let people in, while remaining sooo rough around the edges, was lovely.

Spock!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! From both TOS and AOS, less so from Disco/SNW, because he's just so fucking funny and also watching him be so repressed and then be forced out of that repression is fun. I love him. Baby boy.

Joy from EEAAO. Loved watching her anger, loved watching her creativity, and I loved watching her anger make her mother change. I love that she was able to give up the anger because she was finally seen and her hurt was legitimized.

***** ****** from ******* ******** because *runs away*

NGL.... it's still my boy Edward Elric. In many ways, I should let him go. But he was my first rep of atheism in literally the funniest fucking way ("Yeah I've seen God but... nah.") and I still enjoyed his journey, even if I now have major issues with the narrative and apologism and recognize Scar as a far more compelling character than Edward. Sorry to everyone but when I saw Edward at age.... 13, I did not realize what war crime apologism looked like. At least I let go of stanning Mustang. Cause I wanted that man carnally for a long time.

Sook-hee from The Handmaiden. Watching her fuck shit up was cathartic.

I need to finish my watch through (bingewatching two seasons in a week was mentally taxing, tbh) but Flint and Max from Black Sails. Again... love a selfish character who has felt left behind by the world and so they take what they can from the world. They deserve it!

Recency bias I guess but I'm REALLY loving Frieren from... Frieren. Watching her learn to value other people while going around with her lil :3 face is nice.

I feel like this list is leaving a lot of faves out--my lovely Sailor Jupiter who I imprinted on like a baby duck and have carried in my heart ever since, Dimitri Fire Emblem, Qifrey, and probably so many more. The characters that I love just for horny reasons (Yae Miko, Kaveh, Tighnari my beloveds). Characters I love for their potential (Finn, Poe, and Rey from Star Wars)(Also Cassian but I guess I could love him more if I watched Andor but I will not be watching Disney+ shows.) Characters who I love now (Louis, Lestat, Claudia from IWTV the show) but haven't finished their arcs yet, so idk how I'll feel int he future. Etc etc.

I will also say that this list feels a biiiiiit swayed by characters who I have experienced more in fandom. There are characters from one off books, video games, comics that I CONNECT with more, maybe idolized more, but engage with less often because there's no fandom, so they come to mind less immediately. And they've been butchered less by fanon, so I don't project onto them as much. Like they are FULLER vessels, which means they have less room for me to go "Oh, yeah, we are exactly the same. Let me into your brain."

This list is mainly of characters I love to play with like bratz dolls in my brain and is less about like... maybe heavily fucking with them while consuming their media and then being able to let them go when I'm done.

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dreambones · 2 years

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hi!!! I love your games and am looking into trying to make one of my own. any tips?

Thanks! And sure, I like helping. These are based on my experience and a couple I got from college, summarized in the 3 I find more useful and important:

If you are making your first game (I'd even go and say your first 1 - 3 games at least) Keep it simple!

I cannot stress this enough, and it is one of the hardest things in game development I keep having to remind myself every, single, time.

I think Jake's Halloween Night is a good example of this. The game is, stripped down to its bare essentials, a game where you find keys to open locked doors, collect 3 items, and that's it, that's the game. And it all happens in a two levels house with 8 rooms, with 1 single character.

I know the temptation to go and make something bigger (that you might not think is big at all cof looks at MegaBite, Lucinda and The Mushroom Killer of).

There is nothing wrong with big projects! They are cool too, but imagine never swimming a day in your life and then deciding next week you will go and swim across a lake.

Chances are you won't have an award winning game that everyone will be talking about, but believe me, a finished game is such a rewarding feeling than looking back at several unfinished projects.

2. There are no "Engines that make bad/good games"

I borrow this one from a teacher in college. Use the game engine that is comfortable for you, the one you know how to use and you have access to. Just because you make a game with RPG Maker, doesn't mean you'll make a bad game, just like using Unreal Engine doesn't mean your game will be good. Sure, some programs will give you things others won't, and some will only work with a certain coding language or graphics, but it's up to you what game you do with the tools you got at hand.

There are a lot of free to try programs to make games out there, and different ranges of price. I haven't been able to try many aside Unity, which I learned in college, and RPG Maker MV, which I picked because I didn't liked Unity. There are others I want to try but I sadly haven't got the time, so I don't really have lots of experience in that area.

The important thing is you pick the one you are comfortable with and that gives you what you want, don't let others tell you your game will be bad just because of the program you picked.

3. Make a game you want to make, don't try to make a game looking for a secret formula to make "a successful game"

This applies to probably all creative work, but make a game you are having fun with, with a story you like, and characters you love. Maybe it's cliche, maybe it's really dumb, but it's easier to keep motivated when you are doing a game you love.

One of the many reasons I paused MegaBite development was because once I was done with College, I realized I was adapting my original idea, to what my professors and classmates seen as a good, normal, commercial game, and that stopped being fun to me, so I've had to take a step back to see what do I want to make with MegaBite.

On the other hand, Jake's Halloween Night is a dumb idea I came up with while hanging out with Popfizzless, and I turned around and told em "I will make a game where you play with a Chad Bro looking guy that at the end turns out to be a slasher" and then I said, "fuck it, his name is Jack O' Lambert because I love puns and I will make all the silly horror movies references I can and that doesn't make sense".

I started on October 5 and ended October 29th, doing a dumb game I was enjoying making, expecting barely anything from it, and next day one of my favorite YouTubers had played it. And I think the best part was seeing him and all the people in the comments having fun with my dumb, cliche, silly ideas. Even seeing YouTubers I didn't knew about, enjoying the game and making jokes about it was so much fun and more enjoyable than if I had made something I didn't enjoy making but got popular.

And to be fair, barely anyone played JHN, but it is still crazy see that bunch of people in MBH commenting theories and finding horror movies references I didn't put there.

Long story short, start with a small, simple game with 1 or two characters, that you enjoy making and are having fun with.

I hope this helps and good luck with your game making!

#Game making #game development #indie games #indie game dev #Dream answers #ask box #anon #tutorial #long post

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beetlesacquired · 1 year

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WIP Update

Hi, between work and uni, I haven't been able to write a lot lately, which sucks, but I graduate in about a month (!!) which means that starting about midway through December, I'll have way more free time and creative motivation to get fics out. In the meantime, here's a rundown of all the wips I've got going through my head that will hopefully get updates/see the light of day soon (warning for nsfw fics)

Published WIPs

Promptober

I'm over a month late and only on day 10, so least to say, she's my highest priority. Currently I'm working on day 11: oviposition, and it's almost done, so that should hopefully get out this week! If you're not into that, day 12 is a cute Padme and Luke fluff, so you can look forward to that one instead.

Higher on the Streets

This is a podracer!Anakin and kind of sugar daddy senator!Obi-Wan fic that currently only has one chapter published several months ago, but rest assured, it haunts me every single day. It's not abandoned! But this was my venture into trying to write a multichap where I post chapters as I write them instead of once the fic is complete, and as it turns out, my brain doesn't like working like that. The second chapter is in progress, though it's kinda low on my priority list.

now there are four of them

Sith!Obikin x canon!obikin. This is my favorite of my posted wips, and I'm already several thousand words into a part two, I just have to have the time to really dedicate myself to writing it, because if you've read my smut fics before, you know they're obscenely long. As a sneak peak for part two, Obi-Wan uses the artifact to visit the sith and gets lowkey cucked. ALSO because I've had people ask me, part three WILL be Vader/Anakin, promise promise promise

Omegaverse Week 2021

YES this is still a wip because I'm the WORST. I've had day 7 almost done for over a year. I just need to finish it. Please give me the motivation to finish it. It's body worship, fluffy, so wholesome, I just have to finish it.

will it feel like the end?

Omega prince of the sith Anakin is betrothed to alpha king of the jedi Obi-Wan after the death of Anakin's mother and father. Not only does Anakin want nothing to do with the Jedi, but he has suspicions that King Obi-Wan is behind his parents' murders.

I really did omegaverse week dirty huh, I said over a year ago that I would turn this one shot into a fic, and I got so many comments asking me to do just that. And Yet. It'll happen. I swear it'll happen. I mainly just need to get my thoughts together for it.

Unpublished WIPs

gather ye children of men

TW: religious trauma, internalized homophobia

I, like all the other obikins, watched that angels and demons movie and felt things. Alas, I don't know enough about catholicism to write a priest kink, so I had to improvise. I give you: southern baptist preacher's son Obi-Wan is asked to be a good influence on local bad boy Anakin, who's fallen away from christ in pursuit of tattoos, piercings, alcohol, and *gasp* homosexuality.

all the skins of a life in this world

TA!Anakin who's in love with professor!Obi-Wan. In order to try to get over his feelings, he joins a BDSM discord server where he meets Mod Ben. Possibly trans!Anakin? Still thinking about that one.

if brokenness is a work of art

TW: child abuse, trauma

Master!Anakin agrees to take on padawan!Obi-Wan as his apprentice after Obi-Wan's master, Maul, is deemed unfit for duty in the aftermath of the Clone Wars. Obi-Wan has some strange habits, however. He only speaks when spoken to, doesn't keep any personal possessions, and has cast off all the friends he'd made when he was a youngling. At first, Anakin puts it down to the stresses of going into the Clone Wars too young and being reassigned to a new master, but as time goes on, Anakin starts to question what really happened to Obi-Wan when he was with Maul.

This is probably my favorite one here, but it's a newer idea, so I'm still working through the planning process to make sure that everything works out the way I want it to. More likely than not, it'll actually probably be platonic Obi-Wan & Anakin rather than shipping just because of the nature of everything.

currently unnamed fic

My newest idea, as is apparent by the lack of title, so I don't completely have a summary yet? But it's modern/magic au, definitely a darkfic, lots of whump for obikin especially but also everyone else they drag into their problems.

Those are my wips! I greatly anticipate the day that I can write about things that aren't ancient scandinavian poetry and the effectiveness of college entrance exams. If you've gotten this far, asks about wips or any of my other fics are always welcome <3

#beetles writes things #obikin #obikin fanfiction #omegaverse #my wips #idk how to tag for stuff like this rip #at one point while typing this up I pressed enter and tumblr posted it instead of moving a line down????? a traumatic experience

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wolf-knights · 15 days

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Going on a little rant here, you can skip if you don't want to listen to a person rant :)

God I hate this subject and the teacher like who in there fucking sane mind gives someone three papers to do like I have told you the website wasn't working... Was it my fault it wasn't working no fucking damit it wasn't so why why why like I haven't done anything creative in 2 weeks and it feels like my brain will be dead before I get done with this stupid stupid subject and this teacher who thinks she is trying to help me here bu fucking overwhelming me 24 fucking 7!!!

Why are teachers so shitty like someone please explain to this to these teachers that students aren't fucking robots we need creative outlits in every circumstance like it's easy saying oh stop writing for awhile or or stop painting for a moment or don't spend time reading you have to study, yeah no shit Sherlock obviously I need to study I know that and trust me it's on my mind when I wake up when I eat when I go to bed or do anything for that matter you don't have to remind me every living second of every single day. It's just fucking exhausting to talk to her and try and explain things to her when she things all I do is lie tell me one time I have lied to you about studying

#eli rants #vent post

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eddiediaaz · 26 days

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It's been 8 months and I still haven't been able to get back into editing, so annoyed with myself. I really want to get back into it, but whenever I open photoshop I just sit there even with ideas. I have a couple of ideas but they are parallel text scenes or just text scenes and no actual..I don't know what you call them exactly edits? haha. But yeah I find that most of my blog is just text scenes or just a scene coloured and up close, all the "same" and kinda boring, I guess? I don't know I'm just so stuck with myself and don't know how to get myself past it and make amazing work like you and everybody else, perhaps it's cause I can't picture things in my mind I have to actually see it first? Sorry this is totally random and out of nowhere just needed to rant lol

hey anon, i'm glad you felt comfortable sharing this with me <3

first things first: parallel & scene gifsets are not boring! people love those. the proof: they ALWAYS get more traction than creative gifs, without fail. every single time! they're absolutely edits anyway! coloring and sharpening scenes is not always easy, there's often a fair amount of work put into it.

i've also been lacking inspiration these past couple weeks/months, to be honest. i have a lot of ideas and even requests, but i've pretty much only done the scene gifs and parallels because it's all i can handle right now. that's all i felt like doing, so it's what i did. if it's what you're in the mood for, absolutely go for it. it could very will spark inspiration for more creative sets after some time, too!

it's really hard to picture something, even if you have ideas, when you're lacking inspiration. so i think if you're in the mood for basic gifs, then by all means make these basic gifs. it's still creating! and the inspiration will come back one day.

also who cares if it's "boring", if you like making them! gifmaking is an art form, whatever kind of gif you make, and you should indulge in whatever sparks ideas and inspiration, even if it's more basic stuff. we should always keep in mind that art is art even if it's basic and simple. basic and simple is valid and important too, and it doesn't mean you won't get back to more creative stuff eventually! good luck 🥰

#alie replies #Anonymous

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