Genuinely don’t know who will be taking home AOTY at the Grammy’s.

raider and lincoln x lana

I love getting song comparisons. 🖤 ik there are some i haven't posted bc i don't know them and wanna check them out first to add context like @javier-penas-wifexx420 has done here.

Raider Joel Joel saves you from his men but claims you as his own and takes you with him. Left in Lincoln (dbf x virgin) He's a neighbor your dads trust to look in on you while they seek treatment for Frank.

@javier-penas-wifexx420 asked:

DUDE ok so I remembered what someone said abt what lana songs the jolkemons are. I feel like specifically Raider and Lincoln are so lana coded. Raider is ultraviolence and Lincoln in honeymoon.

I feel like Raider being Ultraviolence is pretty understandable bc of how he his and how he treats the reader. Songs that really remind me of him are

ultraviolence- “he hurt me but it felt like true love.” “Loving him was never enough”

shades of cool- “I can’t fix him, can’t make him better”

Sad girl- “but you haven’t seen my man…he’s got the fire and he walks with it”

Pretty when you cry- OFC RAIDERS DACRYPHILLIA HE THINKS WERE SO PRETTY WHEN WE CRY

old money- “those summer nights seem long ago, so is the girl you used to call the queen of New York City” reminds me of how sweet pea is really disconnected from her old self and her old life, she belongs to Joel now so that’s like her only identity. Sad but also kinda hot🤪

“If you send for me you know I’ll come and if you call for me you know I’ll run.” Sweet pea is at the point where she’ll listen to anything he says and will do whatever he wants, she’ll follow him anywhere and honestly same.

And NOW, Lincoln and honeymoon. I feel like this one isn’t as obvious and some ppl might disagree with me but NO. Lincoln IS honeymoon. Honeymoon is one of Lana’s most treasured albums and if you really listen to it and focus on the subject matter it can be argued that it’s darker than ultraviolence. And while Lincoln Joel seems really sweet and loving, just like how honeymoon comes across, he’s actually really dark and just as dangerous, if not more than Raider. The album honeymoon describes intense and passionate love, kind of IRRATIONAL you could say. The album outlines just wanting to get away with your lover and be together forever *cough lincoln*

I feel like honeymoon displays a sort of desperation and a willingness to do anything one needs in order to be with their lover and I think that’s reflective of both Joel and peaches. Also in the music video for one of the songs on the album lana drinks kool-aid which is a reference to heaven’s gate and i feel like the whole expression of “drinking the kool-aid” is very accurate of left in Lincoln cause peaches is def drinking that fucking kool-aid.

Also honeymoon takes a lot of influence from older music styles, older aesthetics (the art deco aesthetic from the 20s) and in general older references and since Lincoln is almost 60 i feel like it fits him. Honeymoon is rlly jazzy and I’m p sure you said he likes jazz lol. Lana mentions Billie holiday in one of the songs and Joel would def play Billie holiday for peaches.

THE SONGS

honeymoon: “we both know the history of violence that surrounds you, but I’m not scared there’s nothing to lose now that I’ve found you”

Freak: “life makes sense when I’m with you. Looking back my past it all seems stranger than a stranger” THIS IS SO PEACHES BRO LIKE WHAT. Honestly freak is very much a left in Lincoln song. Anyway.

Religion: “you’re my religion, you’re how I’m livin…when I’m down on my knees you’re how I pray” very them, Joel is in charge of everything, peaches answers to him, looks up to him for everything. He’s her whole life now

The blackest day: “ever since my baby went away, it’s been the blackest day”

This song is one of the most left in Lincoln songs, I imagine this part references jessie leaving and her being all alone without him.

“Because I’m going deeper and deeper, darker and darker, harder and harder. Looking for love in all the wrong places.” After she was left in Lincoln™️ she was all alone and things got a lot darker, causing her to look for love anywhere she could find it.

24: “there’s only 24 hours in a day, and half as many ways for you to lie to me my little love” there’s a lot more lyrics in this song that are relevant but I think especially this one because it’s like wtf is Joel doing when he’s not with peaches?? And he’s obviously lying to her and I think she’s started to gain more suspicions (at least I hope so bc homegirl is IN TROUBLE)

Swan song: this one is the second to last song on the album and I think it is very relevant of left in Lincoln. The song basically says that all the two lovers need is each other. If you think about it, Joel just desires an eternal honeymoon with peaches, just the two of them together FOREVER

“Nothing could stop the two of us if that’s what we want, we could just get lost”

I feel like this could even be something Joel says to peaches. Like he’s just like as long as we’re together it doesn’t matter what happens. Also the “if that’s what we want” reminds me of Joel manipulating peaches and tricking her into thinking it’s all what she wants and she has a choice🤩

And I feel like a lot of the songs are very peaches coded: Terrence loves you, god knows I’ve tried, music to watch boys to, don’t let me be misunderstood

ANYWAYYYYY sorry for writing so fucking much I’ve j been thinking abt this for awhile esp the Lincoln honeymoon connection bc it’s so interesting and I love lana and your fics ❤️

-------

Toxic: This is amazing!! Thank you so much for the thoughtful analysis. 🖤 also it is killing me not to spoiler.

He’s so Lana Part One

Austin Butler x Female!OC (Presley Lane)

Summary: Presley, a record store owner meets Austin one day when he comes in the shop.

Warnings: None! Just fluffy:)

Word count: 1,014

Let me know if you’d want a part 2!

I had been sitting behind the counter of my record store “Lucy In The Sky With Records” when a tall man with jet black hair walked through the door. He looked a little lost as he looked around and quickly approached the counter. “Hey there, do you have any Elvis records?” He asked. “Presley or Costello?” I asked. “Sorry. Presley.” He smiled. “Follow me.” I smiled as I walked out from behind the counter and started towards the Elvis section.

I stopped and turned to look at him. “Have you ever listened to Lana Del Rey?” I asked. “Oh. No I haven’t.” He said. “Well then I’ll just have to hook you up with some Lana. You remind me a lot of a Lana record.” I said, tilting my head as I spoke. “Thank you?” He said, confused. “It’s a compliment, I promise.” I smiled. “Well then, thank you very much.” He said.

“All of your Elvis is going to be right here-” I said before I was cut off. “Daisy!” My new employee yelled from the back. “I’ll be there in a second, Jim.” I yelled back. “Sorry, as I was saying, all of the Elvis is going to be here and I try to put all of the records in alphabetical order by titles. I can guarantee that none of the records are scratched or warped, and all prices are on the sticker on the top right corner of the plastic sleeve.” I smiled. “Thank you very much for your help.” He smiled. “Of course..?” I said, waiting for his name. “Austin, Austin Butler. And may I have the pleasure of knowing yours?” He asked. I shook his hand. “I go by many names. Call me whatever you want.” I smiled as I walked away.

I cautiously watched as he dug through the records, looking at every one and putting them in a pile. Something about him just seemed so familiar. I googled his name and there everything was, he was an actor and there were rumors of him playing Elvis Presley.

Now when I looked, he had probably about 20 records stacked up and was still looking. I left the counter and walked to the R’s to grab a Lana Del Rey record and I immediately decided on “Born To Die”.

“Since it looks like you’re buying a lot, I’ll give you a discount, Mr. Butler.” I smiled. “Thank you. And you can call me Austin.” He said. “Ok, Austin.” I said.

I continued logging new arrivals into the system and pricing them until Austin came up to the counter bring what looked to be 3 stacks of 15 records each. “You bought me out of all of my Elvis.” I laughed. “Oh, I’m sorry. I’m just a huge fan.” He laughed. “Oh don’t apologize sweetheart, people like you keep me in business.” I said. I started separating the records and put a stack of 10 aside. “So I’ll give these to you for free and go ahead and grab like 5 CDs and I’ll throw those in too.” I said. “I’m not sure I need any CD’s, I think I’ll just get the albums.” He said. “They’re free. At least take a look?” I said. He nodded with a smile and started looking through the CD’s in front of the counter.

“Who’s that?” He asked, looking up at the picture on the wall. “That is my mama and dad when they met at Woodstock.” I smiled. “Woodstock, how neat. How old were they?” He asked. “My mom was 15 and my dad 17. My mom had written her number down on a piece of a napkin but with all the mud it got lost and they didn’t meet again until 15 years later.” I said. “They must have been meant to be.” He said, setting 3 Elvis and Beatles CD’s on the counter. “Oh a Beatles boy.” I smiled. “Thats me.” He smiled. “My dad loves the Beatles and my mom loved Elvis. That’s actually how they picked my name.” I said. “Well now I have to know your name.” He said. “Presley Lane. It was a very close tie between my name, Eleanor Rigby, Lucy Skye and Penny Lane. Of course mom being the Elvis fan made the final decision.” I said. “Presley Lane.. has a nice ring to it.” He said. “Well, thank you.” I smiled.

“Ok, Austin, the total is going to be $350.00 even.” I said. “You wouldn’t believe the record prices I’ve seen around town today. Its crazy! I really appreciate your pricing.” He smiled as he swiped his card. “Well of course, Mr. Presley.” I smirked. His head shot up. “You looked so familiar so I had to google you. Congratulations on the role. I’ve been watching you since you were on Zoey101.” I laughed. “Thank you. I’m nervous but I have a good feeling about it.” He said.

“I wish you luck and here.” I grabbed one of my business cards and started writing my cell number on the back. “I don’t want to make the same mistake my parents made and have a lot of lost time together.” I said, sliding him the card. He grabbed it and looked at it before putting it in his pocket. “You have a great day.” He smiled as he picked up all 5 of the bags. “You as well, tell me what you think of Lana.” I waved as he pushed to door open. “Will do.” He smiled before the door shut.

It had been two days since I met Austin and he never text or called and I began losing hope until I was opening the store one day and my phone buzzed.

Unknown Number

Hey, I’ve just listened to the Lana Del Rey record and I love it but I would love to hear your ideas on it. Dinner at my place at eight?

Sorry, this is Austin btw.

Sure! I’d love that. I’m glad you enjoyed the record.

I couldn’t hold it my excitement as i jumped and shrieked like a teenage girl.

Do y’all want a part two of this story?👀

Taglist:

@Purejasmine

@violetdaze25

@maddiemunson333

@Shelbygeek

@ABloversblog

okay so.

i have a random question

i think you'll know who i am but. because the words always come to you and you can't stop jfkdkdkjfkf

what songs do you associate with your mutuals bestie. i'm curious <3

ok ok let me TRY idk how accurate i’ll be 😭 also i really couldn’t do everyone!! i tried!!! i’m sorry to everyone i missed i love u!!!!!

@ikigaisvt — circles (seventeen). sammy is the most comforting person ever btw. love her to pieces & love this song to pieces.

@etherealyoungk — backyard boy (claire rosinkranz). the song is v bubbly & comforting, like skye!!

@yoongiphoria — no.2 (rm with parkjiyoon). FULLY aware and in support of mj’s love for this album (and same) 💗

@wheeboo — wish on an eyelash (mallrat). I DONT EVEN KNOW WHY. it fits.

@eoieopda — take me to church (hozier). fully aware of jade’s love for hozier (same) and idk it just makes sense to me. (alternatively arabella by arctic monkeys?)

@glowunderthemoon — go go (bts). because it’s such a funny chaotic song & so are our dms 😭

@seokminkisser — surf (mac miller). been listening to this song on repeat ALLL day & it’s just v comforting like lia!!

@hannyoontify — stargazing (the neighbourhood). it makes so much sense to me but i can’t explain it.

@userjuyo — godspeed (frank ocean). why is explaining these so hard 😭 they just make sense to me.

@toruro — diet mountain dew (lana del rey). we haven’t actually interacted much but the vibes are there can’t explain it just trust me.

@rubyreduji — red (the rose). this is honestly me just making a very bad joke pls feel free to ignore.

@blue-jisungs — seven (taylor swift). a very gentle sweet song!! like axe!!

Soundtracks for threads @myriadxofxmuses

Have you ever come across a more Lana Del Rey coded pair? I haven’t. Oh my god I have been listening to her album Born to Die and so many of her songs fit our two lovebirds so well.

When I did up the moodboard for them a few weeks ago I used Taylor Swifts Style lyrics which also suits them but I think more for their modern verse. But Ethan definitely fits the “James Dean Daydream” and Felicity the “red lip classic and a tight little skirt”

But back to Lana…

When I listen to Born to Die I can picture their 1920s thread so well, Ethan zooming in some fast car, Felicity running to their hide away, all the speakeasy’s, the gun fights, the rivalry, the kisses when they are alone, the first night they met, everything everything I think it just fits them perfectly.

“Come and take a walk on the wild side

Let me kiss you hard in the pouring rain

You like your girls insane, so (louder)

Choose your last words, this is the last time

'Cause you and I, we were born to die”

Also then Dark Paradise, very similar vibes but more from Felicity’s perspective I think. It really gives me the images of Felicity being unhappy in her life, and wanting things to change, and falling so hard for Ethan. “There’s no relief I see you in my sleep, and everybody’s rushing me, but I can feel you touching me”… I think that really captures how much she adores him.

“Every time I close my eyes, it's like a dark paradise

No one compares to you

I'm scared that you won't be waiting on the other side

Every time I close my eyes, it's like a dark paradise

No one compares to you

I'm scared that you won't be waiting on the other side”

And then of course summer time sadness, definitely one of her most iconic songs. Everything about this reminds me of Felicity and Ethan. If they make it to California, and she starts her new life by his side there I can see them living it up. Cruising down the coast…going out together…living on the edge, Ethan still working in his mob, with her by his side. I love it!

I love to think of how smug he’d be once he gets Felicity, on one hand because he bested James and won his game, but on the other because he does genuinely love the girl.

I'm feelin' electric tonight

Cruisin' down the coast, goin' about 99

Got my bad baby by my heavenly side

I know if I go, I'll die happy tonight

Oh, my God, I feel it in the air

Telephone wires above are sizzlin' like a snare

Honey, I'm on fire, I feel it everywhere

Nothin' scares me anymore

Kiss me hard before you go

Summertime sadness

I just wanted you to know

That baby, you the best

I hope you liked this!! I just had to get my thoughts on paper lol!

Hi! Do you like Taylor Swift?

You like Lana but idk how far off that is from Taylor, I like both.

But every time I listen to The Great War I just think of Obikin, that’s all🤗

hi !! idk how to answer this bc on one hand i really don’t care about taylor swift as a person at ALL and know next to nothing about her, but folklore is one of my favorite front to back albums ever. a LOT of the songs remind me of obikin. other than that, her song state of grace is one of my favorite obikin “au where they lived happily ever after” songs. so i guess i am a mild fan ? like there’s stuff i love but then i haven’t even touched her most recent album.

be controversial. rank midnights. <3

well since you asked <3 i like to group them into categories. 1) overhyped and quickly lost their shine to me. 2) overrated by swifties because they’re specific to miss taylor’s life. but can’t be related to anything else, you know, the way you’re supposed to do with music :/ 3) hidden gems everyone overlooks. and 4) grew on me like a strange mold or fungus

high infidelity- everybody knows i love this song and i love cheating and infidelity. literally your picket fence is sharp as knives. do i really have to tell you how he brought me back to life…. insane song. if julian fellowes heard this he’d spontaneously explode (<- guy who has normal feelings and no resentment about british drama downton abbey and it’s creator voice)

the great war- literally i didn’t appreciate her in the beginning i was so foolish i was so naive… literally all that bloodshed crimson clover uh huh sweet dream was over my hand was the one you reached for all throughout the great war… i love that she compared fighting with your lover to world war one. someone should make a riverdale core four amv to this

snow on the beach- i love this song right now. it’s simple it’s nice it’s a lovely little love song and lana del ray is doing her moan-singing in the background what’s not to like! also it makes me think about merlin and morgana which causes my brain to short circuit. i overlooked her when the album first came out but i’m back now i should never have left her…

question- i swear to god i’m not being biased because this one also makes me think of merlin and morgana. however it does. anyway i actually always liked this one but i forgot about it for a few weeks there and now i want to listen to it on repeat…

glitch- i love glitch. everybody hates glitch idk what y’all’s problem is i think glitch is fun. also it’s about my buddy kit herondale. if you even care. i don’t however like it as much as i did before i started listening to the above songs again. but i’ve always been a glitch defender

sweet nothing- i think it’s a nice and lovely little song <3 however i hate the parts that are Taylor Specific. but in general i like this song a lot, i remember saying when i first heard it it was a jabitha song and like. so true me it IS a jabitha song… they said the end is coming everyone’s up to something but all that you ever wanted from me was sweet nothing…..

lavender haze- i didn’t like this one initially because it felt too self referential but the “i’m damned if i do give a damn what people say” line goes crazy. i love how she sings that line i love the play on words i love how real it is. we literally are all damned if we do give a damn what people say….

vigilante shit- VERY much suffers from being too much about taylor’s life however it grew on me and EYE think it’s fun. also i am going to make a morgana amv to this. sorry i’ve literally mentioned morgana so many times already but what can i say midnights is a very morgana album to me

mastermind- mal descendants swag… i haven’t listened to this one much since the early days but i didn’t grow to dislike it at all it’s fine it’s just not my favorite

paris- i hate this song. i also am obsessed with it. it’s so complex. all i really know is that i actively seek out listening to this more than most on the album.

you’re on your own kid- has some good stuff going on but in general this is another Specific To Taylor’s Situation song and i don’t like that!!! i hate that so much of her music is unable to be applied to anything but her life it’s narcissistic and masturbatory and ridiculous. and swifites eat it up because they’re functionally in a cult. however the first couple lines of the bridge make me insane so.

karma- i don’t mind this song but i rarely seek it out to listen. also i hate when she says “spider boy” girl what are you even talking about there and are you sure there were no other words you could have used?

anti-hero- very much a taylor swift lead single in the sense that it is bad! i loved it at first honestly but i think swifties and tiktok made it so annoying and insufferable it ruined it for me and now i’m like ughhh yeah girl i get it you’re the anti hero whatever. i don’t hate it it’s a fun song. it’s a very blorbo song to me also obviously, but it’s also kind of annoying and also there was a period of like two weeks where i kept getting this ad on spotify with this song but it was just the part where she repeats it’s me hi i’m the problem it’s me and it just kept repeating and it made me lose my mind a little. i considered starting to pay for spotify because of that ad.

bejeweled- i liked this one and then taylor made it a single and i kept hearing it on tiktok and now i think it’s mildly annoying. it’s fun don’t get me wrong i still like it but. well you know what i mean

bigger than the whole sky- kind of a nothing song tbh. i remember really liking it back when it came out but what the hell was i thinking… i skip it so fast now…

midnight rain- kind of a nothing song to me. what the hell are you even talking about taylor. also jack antonoff’s production here pisses me off. it feels like she named the album midnights and THEN wrote this song to fit the theme and i don’t care if that’s true that’s how it feels and i don’t like it.

maroon- i. don’t like maroon. it’s lame to me. i liked it at first but the shine wore off now it’s just like. what the fuck does it even mean? outside the obvious red reference it’s a nothing meaning and it’s lame. i love that it features cheating tho!

would’ve could’ve should’ve- TERMINAL Specific To Taylor’s Situation disease!!! also i really don’t like the way the transition between the pre-chorus and the chorus sounds. i like the beginning when she’s singing in a deeper voice but as soon as she jumps to the higher pitch i hate it so much. i also don’t vibe when taylor tries to write religious metaphors. she’s not good at it and i can tell she didn’t grow up going to church every sunday and is mainly just culturally christian. taylor you’re not ethel cain stop trying to do religious references in your lyrics.

labyrinth- i literally listened to this once and i never want to do it again. boring! lame! i literally don’t even give enough of a shit to try to remember what it was even about. all i know is that when it comes on i press skip

dear reader- i don’t think i ever listened to this all the way through. it bored me to my core and it just immediately felt like a Specific To Taylor song and i didn’t care to find out. idk what the songs even about and i never want to because i don’t care <3

sabrina carpenter, lana and taylor are all great artists; you have taste :-) I‘m sure you have, but have you listened to paris by sabrina? It‘s really good! also, a swiftie since you were 6 years old? please tell me you‘ve been to her concert before at least once — you deserve it because damn, 15 years of being a swiftie 🙏 embodiment of loyalty

pink reminds me of your energy and awh 😭 I‘ve never met someone who had raccoons as their favorite animals. they really are cute though

staying up is fun, I don‘t blame you and no problem! ♥️ I was curious :D

i haven’t listened to paris! i just got into sabrina with her new album, i definitely need to go back and listen to her older stuff!

also i haven’t gotten to see taylor yet 😭 idk why but as a child i thought concert tickets were like at least 10k LMFAO and she hasn’t been on tour since 2018 🥺

raccoons are the cutest things ever and i’m a cat person too so in my head they are the same!! <3

okay i'm gonna play a usual ask game with you except in this case you have to explain WHY you picked your answer

i'll start!

🍔 What's your favorite food?

my favorite food is and i know that that's "basic" BUT LET ME EXPLAIN WHY, pizza is literally the most perfect thing humans have ever invented. because it is a MARRIAGE of everything that's good in food, FIRST THE BREAD, it's not just ANY BREAD, it's bread made specifically for cheese and tomato sauce, it's fluffy, it's more of a stretchy flat bread, but it doesn't TASTE like flat bread, in other words, the pizza dough is PERFECT, NOW ONTO THE SAUCE, THE TOMATOES, THE GARLIC, THE VEGETABLES, THE OIL, ALL OF IT COMES TOGETHER TO FORM A HEAVENLY TOMATO SAUCE, AND WHEN THE DOUGH AND THE TOMATO SAUCE COMES TOGETHER? *chefs kiss* BUT IT GETS EVEN BETTER WITH THE CHEESE, OH THE CHEESE!!! IT'S A MARRIAGE MADE IN HEAVEN, THAT'S WHY PIZZA IS MY FAVORITE FOOD.

💿 What's your favorite song?

I DON'T HAVE A SINGULAR FAVORITE SONG SO I WILL SHARE 5 OF MY FAVORITES

Wallows- 1980s horror film

Lana del Rey- Radio

Someone New- Hozier

Phoebe Bridgers- Scott Street

Tyler the Creator- See You Again

🎃 What's your favorite Holiday?

CHRISTMAS IS OG BUT HALLOWEEN IS SECOND ALSO THANKSGIVING, ALSO VALENTINES DAY BUT ONLY BECAUSE SHE'S HALLOWEENS GIRLFRIEND

HALLOWEEN AND VALENTINE'S DAY ARE LESBIANS.

🧛🏻‍♀️What's your favorite Horror Movie Character?

CARRIE!!! I DON'T CARE WHAT ANYONE SAYS SHE DID NOTHING WRONG!!!

🍿 What’s the last movie you watched?

ENOLA HOLMES!!! I LOVED THAT MOVIE ALSO I AM IN LOVE WITH TEWKESBURY

✈️ What’s a place you’d love to visit?

THE WORLD.

OMG HEY ok i literally hate making decisions about anything but i’ll do this for u bestie <3

fav food

I LOVE UR REASONING AW AND UR SO RIGHT PIZZA IS AMAAAAAZING i would say my fav food is sushi? i haven’t had real sushi in a while and we were SUPPOSED TO GET SOME LAST WEEKEND AND NEVER DID but my family does make these kinda deconstructed sushi bowls for lunch sometimes and they are one of my comfort foods bc i always know what i’m getting and what i’m getting is sO GOOD. first sushi rice slays and then i have like seaweed avocado cucumber sometimes smoked salmon soy sauce tomatoes and YUM

song

omg music makes me soooo happy ahhhh but my fav song literally changes based on the week because i go through a life cycle of ‘find new song, plays in background, hear it someplace —> gets stuck in head —> plays it literally 24/7 SO KUCH GOOD DOPAMINE FEELS OMGFNNDJFJ —> slowly start to get less dopamine and it sort of morphs into a comfort song where not the same dopamine but i know it so well and it makes me feel happy and safe and good memories’

rn i am binging 1989 because i have recently discovered the rampant queer coding in taylor swift songs and omg listening to taylor swift in a homosexual way is just so YES but i’d say out of that album i am ADDICTED to i know places rn

but overall i’d say one of my fav songs no matter when is you might not like her by maddie zahm bc1) the lyrics omg and 2) the chorus ESPECIALLY THETHIRD CHORUS OMFG I COULD LIVE ON THAT SHIT

and my third more comforty song would prob be 1994 by cavetown (always) or maybe my soulmate died by iamnotshane (rn)

OMG AND I KNOW SOME OF YOUR SONGS/ARTISTS AND YES APPROVED!! and the others i def will go listen to!!

holiday

first off YOU ARE SO RIGHT ENDNDBDNHE VALENTINE’s DAY AND HALLOWEEN ARE SO WLW CODED DNNDJDJDJJE

i’ve never really understood the hype around halloween bc i hate social interaction but i love how excited it makes gay people online and i love how people get excited to dress up and i love the vibes mostly like autumn vibes are so elite

plus idk what other holiday id say?? ig i’d agree i like christmas but i hate receiving gifts because i never know how to react so neurotypicals know i actually rly like it 💀💀 also there’s always drama that goes down in my family rip but i do love having a lazy day and having winter break! and i love making other people presents!!!

horror movie character

omg this is such a fun question except i literally do not watch horror 💀💀💀 besides st that’s the exception bc i do it for the queer found family and to be in the loop so i’ll say willel <33 my loves did NOT deserve any of the shit they’ve been through i want to give them a hug

last movie

uhhhhh.. i think? OH WAIT NO I DID JUST WATCH DUNE WITH MY FAM i finally forced them to watch by showing my brother how stacked the cast is with marvel characters 💀 i’ve always been super intrigued by dune but i cannot stay focused for the amount of time needed to read it and the audiobook narrator is so. omfg. but i do want to read it one day so i thought watching the movie would’ve a good intro so i could visualize all the words and names in the book so my brain could keep track and i did like it! i had so much commentary during the movie skjskdkdjjd i am a movie talker but i mostly do it in internal monologues so i don’t annoy my family but omg now i have so many predictions ahhhh IM SO SAD THAT ONE LADY DIED I DID NOT SEE THAT COMING AND I SCREAMED. SHE WAD SO COOL 😭😭 idk if it was my fav movie ever but i’m waiting for the other installments for passing judgment

i do want to watch young royals 2 and the dragon prince s5 but i have sm going on rn so i’m waiting for my fall break ahhhhhhhh i’m so excited

visit

OMG I LITERALLY DONT KNOW so i shall also say. THE WORLD!! we should do a gay gap year or something together and sEE THE SIGHTS

omgggg ty for doing this w me it was so fun!! i loved seeing ur answers u are so right for all of them <33

The Sunday Times, October 2, 2011

The mysterious Lana Del Rey is behind the song of the year, Video Games. Does it matter who pulls her strings?

Even by the breakneck standards of the digital world, Lana Del Rey’s year has been a fast one. The 24-year-old New Yorker, real name Lizzy Grant, started generating interest in Britain in the spring, when her song Video Games and, more important, the video for it that she subsequently posted on YouTube began to create a stir. In the five months that have followed, Grant’s pseudonym has been dropped so many times, and the hype/mythology machine stoked so vigorously, that, inevitably, a backlash has begun. So far, so virally predictable. What is refreshing — or plain insane, depending on your viewpoint — is that a backlash against the original backlash is now rapidly gaining support. And what is easy to forget, amid all the hubbub, is that Video Games is quite simply the song of the year. Yes, it’s that good.

Back to the chatter, though, for it is deafening. Every constituency involved is manning the barricades. Fans acclaim Grant as one of the best new singers of her generation. Detractors, meanwhile, post poison about her rich dad, self-mythologising back story, mysteriously deleted debut album and suspiciously voluptuous lips, the last presumed by the doubters to be surgically enhanced. (Grant has, surely unwisely, entered the debate herself, responding on one website: “Right — I didnt get surgery whoever the f*** u are — i didnt even have a house to live in let alone $ to f*** w my face.”) Behind the scenes are management, label executives and publicists whose air of micromanaging secrecy communicates not confidence, but anxiety. That’s a pretty rich, not to say putrid, brew. 'I haven’t listened to anything new for 10 years, because, you know, I like what I like'

Yet, and it is important to remember this, the main bullet points of the marketing plot are working with a smoothness beyond the wildest dreams of any team tasked with launching a new artist. Radio is hugely supportive (Video Games is predicted to rise to the Radio 1 A-list this week); other influential tastemakers are jumping on board. What this at once ideal and fractious scenario says about the new lines of communication between artist and fan, and the obstacles that — the democracy and egalitarianism of the web notwithstanding — are placed in the way of them, is about much more than Video Games or Lizzy Grant.

She just happens to be the most recent and glaring example of this new commercial culture. She also happens to be very pretty. Does that make her a fair target? Well, let’s ask her.

Sitting in a London hotel room, her fake-nailed fingers clamping a succession of cigarettes, the singer is easily identifiable as the retro femme fatale who stares expressionlessly at the camera in Video Games, yet utterly different: one minute hard-eyed and verbally robotic (ending some answers with an abrupt, and terminating, “Um, yeah”), the next seemingly unsure of herself, inarticulate or unedited. Some of her replies are so hair-raisingly, well, wrong, almost Miss World-like, you wonder why she was ever let loose with an interviewer.

Talking about the failure of her debut album, and her musical influences, she says: “When I started listening to people I consider to be musical icons, my tastes were sort of confirmed in my own mind. And that’s why, you know, even though nothing good ever happened, I was deterred from trying to be a noteworthy artist. But I wasn’t deterred from making things that I thought were beautiful. In fact, I haven’t listened to anything new for 10 years, because, you know, I like what I like. I mean, sometimes I find things that strike me, but in general I have names — I like, you know, Jeff Buckley, he was a show stopper. When I see footage of him live, I just think, ‘He’s unbeatable.’ Kurt Cobain, just his face alone was, like, enough. He didn’t even have to sing, his presence was scary, sick. Elvis, Frank — and Bob Dylan.”

Then there are glimpses of another, much clearer and less bewildered or regal person, as when she returns, again, to the shelving of her first album. Overseen by the Paul McCartney and Regina Spektor producer David Kahne, and either self-titled or called Nevada (the internet is unclear on this), the album was preceded by a well-received EP in late 2008. A few tracks can still be found online, and songs such as Kill Kill, Kinda Outta Luck and, especially, the blowsy, strings-drenched pop-noir of Yayo are audibly the work of the same artist you hear on Video Games and its double A-side, Blue Jeans: woozy, nostalgic odes to glamour with a murky underside, to love on the wrong side of the tracks, and as visually evocative as anything seen on Grant’s own videos, which feature grainy Super 8 footage spliced with television news snippets, the Stars and Stripes swaying in the wind, and the singer herself, dressed in vintage clothes. If these songs are anything to go by, it must have been a remarkable record. So, presumably, the shelving of the project (and Grant’s management seem determined to sit on it, preferring to big up her new material) must have been devastating. And have made her wary?

“Oh, I’m wary,” Grant agrees. “Incredibly wary. But I’m not jaded. I’m nervous, definitely — probably more than most people you might meet this year. I don’t think I’ve really left anything [behind], stylistically; my new songs are still autobiographical and cinematic. Having the record just shelved for two years, that’s difficult for anyone, especially when you’re younger and you make it with a famous producer, which David was.

“It was an exciting time and, making the record I thought... it’s not that I wanted anything to be larger than life, I just thought, ‘Well, here I am, I’m on my way to not having to do anything else in life.’

And to have absolutely no reaction, and no recognition, and no nothing, after you make a record that you think is perfect, you definitely start to think, ‘Well, good try, but you’d better go find something else to do that works.’ Because, if you keep chasing something that isn’t working, you’ll drive yourself insane.”

The precise reason the album was shelved is as much a mystery as why anybody around Grant felt it was okay for her to enter the publicity fray with stories such as her time spent living in a New Jersey trailer park (albeit, apparently, an unusually bohemian one). Her father is a multi­millionaire domain-name entrepreneur and philanthropist. Then there is the effort to market her as an indie artist — her new releases are coming out on a small label, Stranger Records — when even cursory research reveals that she has major-label dollars behind her, and that she is working with a small army of the usual bespoke-songwriter suspects.

Such nervousness and sleight-of-hand tactics are baffling — who cares if she’s not totally “authentic” (whatever that means) or bears traces of manufacture? Yet neither Grant nor her handlers are forthcoming about details they consider awkward — and they are a little too energetic with the opposite, with results that are what would be politely described as bearing signs of embellishment. (I’d say enhancement, but let’s not go there.)

Her team cannot, however, be solely blamed for such distractions, although these seem at best unnecessary and at worst counterproductive. We are all culpable, and perhaps need to refocus on what really matters — and, for starters, ignore the dafter end of the hype and airbrushing. You sense that Grant is becoming aware of the pitfalls of her current situation. Talking about some of the comments posted beneath her videos, she says: “Obviously, you’re not going to enjoy ones like ‘Oh, look at the hype’ and ‘This will all be over before it begins’.” Then, forlornly, she adds: “If I could do it over, I think I would just post the song.” Ah, “just” the song.

Well, perhaps that’s the point. Listen to Video Games’s incredible bridge, on which, as harp and piano ascend, the singer captures the rapture/wistfulness one-two of love, singing, almost sighing, “It’s you, it’s you, it’s all for you”, then tell me you’re still bothered by her lips or her parentage. It will say far more about you than about Lizzy Grant if you are.

Originally published on thetimes.co.uk with the headline Who’s in the driving seat?, and in the October 2, 2011 print edition of The Sunday Times.

I dreamt i was back in high school and it was the first day of school that year. Me and a bunch of others were sat in the cafeteria waiting for the first bell. And for some reason i was showing off old school gaming consoles like a nintendo advance sp gameboy, a green one. And my silver psp. But then someone had snatched them off my table and i stood up to retreive them. But the guy who stole them is a fricking criminal, like i actually was afraid of him in school. And i went to get them back but he was hanging on to them with metal tongs and so he scratched and tore a bit into the design, fucking asshole. I could tell by his expression that he was pissed that i stole his property, as if. And his friend group was scaring me so i did the one thing i thought would help me and that was snitch. I walked to the secretary office just across from the cafeteria and told them what happened. I think i didn’t even get the change to say it all when suddenly i hear all this ruckus in the main hall just next door. And a whole group of people is coming my way. Led by some giant russian looking dude holding my dad and my sister in a chokehold. Threatening me that i shouldn’t tell the secretary anything or my dad and sis would be hurt. And i believed him. And the rest of the group felt like a whole maffia gang that was backing the russian dude. On top of that Dimitri or whatever hands me a small recorder thingy and asks me to listen to the recording, and then my dad said “probably not at a high volume”. So i make sure to lower the volume and hold the speaker holes against my ear and listen to the recording. At first i didn’t hear much but then it faded into a Lana Del Rey song. One from her latest album. Ok weird. I fast forward and i seem to hear some heavy breathing and female soft moans until i realize it’s MY voice. MY moans. I freak out inside. I continue the recording. It’s me singing a Lana song accapella like i often do in my room. Then it’s conversations between me and my uncle that i don’t like, and it sounds like he was trying to do some unthinkable nasty things to me. But i had no recollection of this ever happening. Then it was just me singing under my breath, moving around in my room, opening my wardrobe doors and stuff like that. Talking to my sister. I didn’t understand. How did they get this fucking recording. Based on the quality of the sound, they must have put a small microphone somewhere in my room without me knowing it. They must have broken in our house. So they were obviously threatening me to keep my mouth shut or they would release the tape i guess. The worst thing was that my dad and sister too probably had listened to the recording and had heard me masturbating and being assaulted by my uncle. How mortifying. Anyways. I fast forward and it’s another Lana song. And this time it plays synchronised with the music playing in school from the speakers. And i thought “how the hell did you do that? To make it play at the same time?”

Anyways that was my creative but weird ass dream. I haven’t been assaulted by my uncle in real life by the way. At least not that i remember but it wouldn’t shock me if he did and i repressed it. His youngest son assaulted my sister when they both were small kids.

thing # 20, Wednesday, August 9, 2023 4:42 pm

okay so life update haha

got a boyfriend, yes the tinder guy from before.

we’ve been together for eight months now.

probably gonna die early from vaping cause i got into it oops

i’m on antidepressants now

listened to the new lana album, cried

saw the little mermaid, cried

saw barbie, cried

i have yet to watch oppenheimer, but i don’t really give a fuck about that movie

there was a lot of crying since i last wrote here, but like in a good way. The hopeful kind. I’ve been so much better ever since I actually reached out to get help. I actually have to get back to the psych for another appointment but I can’t afford that yet so maybe next time. My boyfriend is the best, he’s almost too good to be true. I’m not gonna rule out the fact that he probably is, but so far, I have no reason to. He’s like actually husband material, and I’m not talking barebones here. He’s gone above and beyond the bare minimum. He’s kind of the reason i haven’t been posting here as much. He gives me so much comfort and I feel so safe and loved around him, I feel so at peace. My social life has gotten better I actually made new friends. I went with them to pride last June. Grades are still shit, might actually change my major but I’m not sure yet. My washing machine broke. There’s something wrong with the drain or something and it’s starting to stink. I took out the sheets I was washing too many days later and now I’m trying to get the stink out, so far no luck. I bought some bleach from a store nearby so hopefully that’ll help. I’m just gonna let them soak or something. I have about four bags of laundry piled up and I’m too lazy to walk over to the laundromat. Maybe later tonight when it’s not so hot. It was raining so much last week now I feel i like I’m in an oven. I want the rainy weather back.

I never realized how much I loved doing nothing. I mean, cleaning the house and doing chores is fine, but schoolwork? projects? yeah fuck that. I don’t know something about setting a deadline to make or answer something about something, even if I am actually passionate about that something, ugh i just don’t like it. I feel like if humans didn’t come up with this learning as fast as you can so you can make money shit, I would actually feel like doing something with my life. If all we’re doing in life as all about getting money, then what’s the point? If we’re working for money instead of like, I don’t know, happiness? It’s waste of time. Spending a big ass chunk of my life miserable so I can horde shit? No thank you. I mean, of course it’s good to have a purpose in life, but if that purpose is forced upon you by a system that fucks you over in the end then what the fuck? Plus, all that shit corporations earn, a big part of that goes to one probably white guy in a big house while people at the bottom of the food chain can barely afford to eat. I can’t even afford meat.

And can I rant about the horrible urban planning where I live? If you live in a third-world country like me, you know what I’m talking about. Fucking boomers complain about how kinds don’t go outside anymore, nobody goes out and meets with their friends. But have they ever actually looked at the outside their generation built? i get about a foot of sidewalk if I’m lucky. People can’t get anywhere unless they have a car, or unless they’re willing to learn about the mess that is public transportation here, or if they can afford a taxi. Of course, there’s a learning curve every time someone wants to go to a new city, but still. The least they can do is spare some space for people to walk. Also, the air sucks and the rains sucks. In my neighborhood, there is one singular tree. When it rains, it doesn’t smell like rain, it doesn’t smell like petrichor or earth or even wet dirt. It smells like wet garbage. I miss dirt.

But guess what? I can’t go to where the dirt is because I can’t even afford to get a bus ticket to go home. Honestly, I feel like I should just quit school and find an okay-paying job and just do whatever. But noooo third-world country babies don’t have the privilege to choose what they want to do with their lives, not without a college degree, that is.

I should get tested for ADHD. I know self-diagnosing is on trend these days, but like I actually have a problem up top. Even with the antidepressants, yes my mood has gotten a lot better, but I cans till barely function. Something’s wrong, I know that much.

Anyways, I feel like I still have a lot to say but I’m getting bored of typing. I actually just started writing this cause I was bored of scrolling on tiktok. I’m gonna go back to tiktok now

buhbye mwah

March 24 2023, Friday - 9:48am

The goddess, the queen, the absolute living legend dropped a new album today. I stayed up all night to listen to the entire album at 12:00am. Honestly, I’m not too big of a fan of this album. It had it’s good songs tho, I enjoyed the first 3 she released as well as a couple from the album, but I’m a die hard Ultraviolence fan. I love the song Sad Girl and Shades of Cool and Pretty When You Cry and Ultraviolence and…the entire album pretty much. But I do love her unreleased songs, as much as she hates them being “unreleased”. Playing Dangerous and For K (part 2). I’m really hoping Lana does another tour because if I were to be blessed enough to attend one of her concerts, I’d come out of that venue a whole new person.

Also, I think I’m slowly becoming the worst version of myself. I normally don’t talk about this kind of stuff because I find it cringe but I lowkey think I’m turning into some kind of virgin whore. I’ve never done shit with a guy other than makeout with one while blackout drunk at a party, but I know that a lot of guys would love to be with me. Not trying to be cocky or anything, but even if I have self image issues, I can recognize that I can make myself conventionally attractive most of the time.

I’ve been doing a lot of research on this new genre of attitude becoming more and more common throughout social media called femcel or female rage. However, I find it extremely stupid as it’s not some kind of aesthetic or style but instead a mindset or female version of the male sigma. American Pyscho, Donnie Darko, Fight Club, all those kinds of movies would be considered ‘male sigma’, mentally ill men who have some kind of complex that make them feel also they aren’t real, or superior to others. For women, it’s Midsommer, Black Swan, Virgin Suicides, and most importantly, Pearl. Earlier I stated how I find myself to relate greatly to Pearl, but not in the sense that I find myself to be a femcel, whatever the hell that even is. These feelings that women on the internet are grouping into the feminine rage category are all such common feelings, something that comes along with being human. As these women grow older, or should I say teenage girls, they’ll look back at this phase they’ve created and realize that what they were feeling was not some unknown emotion that groups them into the superior race of sigma or mentally ill, but feelings that you come to aquire as you grow older than a child. However, I do find this new genre so interesting that if I ever write a book or direct a movie, I’ll be taking each of the characters related to this genre and creating one character.

On that topic, I’ve been creating a story in my head for a long time now. A very long time. So long that if it doesn’t become published or viewable for the public at some point in my life, I may or may not go mentally insane. Yet, I haven’t written any of it down. I don’t need to. I can picture it all so vividly, so absolutely perfect, that I don’t need to write it down because I can view exactly how I want it to go down in my head. I know each character, I know their appearance and personality, I know the entire soundtrack of what would take part in a movie series of this idea, I know the setting, the plot points, conflicts, everything. Although, it is inspired greatly by other things I’ve consumed from media. Not great enough for it to be a complete copy, but great enough that you could see the similarities if you know what media I’ve taken it from. The story would be a slasher, horror, psychological movie where the main character is the antagonist. The killer. A teenage girl who has this entire genre surrounding her life. She’s seen as fragile, innocent, beautiful, and delicate. This persona she puts on allows her to get away with the string of killings she’s commiting in her small town. Killings of students at the only highschool in town. The title of this is still unknown, but only because I need to great such an amazing, perfectly fitting title for this so it really is the perfect story. The girl is struggling with a bad homelife, living only with her drunken father who sees her for who she really is. She knows she’s not the perfect girl she shows her self as, but instead of doing anything about it to stop her, he punishes her on his own. He has for quite some time, which was one of the main reasons she began to kill. She’d kill anyone who did something wrong, not only to her, but to others in general. She’d kill people who recieved something they don’t deserve or people who brag on and on about something they shouldn’t have. Each time she would kill, her image would breakdown a little bit more. She was losing her sanity. Her fathers punishments would get worse with each kill, he knew it was her. Her only friend, Elijah, began to notice her downfall and began to question her with his girlfriend, Roxie. Halfway through the story, a copycat killer comes into the ring. Their motive to kill is different, they’re people who’ve wronged her directly, but it’s not her. She knows whoever this copycat is must be someone she knows, but whatever they’re doing is only bringing the cops right to her. She’s losing time, but she’s beginning to suspect her father to be the copycat killer, knowing he wouldn’t turn her in on his own, but he’d do what he could to lead her right to her prison cell. She wanted to kill him, but that too would send her straight into the hands of the judge. It took her sometime to develop a plan, but she knew her best option was to kill her father and flee the state, maybe even country, before it was too late. But just as she gathers the courage to finish the job herself, she goes to the living room to find her father already murdered by the one and only Roxie. Roxie admits that shes been obsessed with her since they met, regardless if she was dating Elijah or not, and knew no other way to become closer with her than to kill the people who treated her wrong. Roxie thought that maybe then she’d get her attention, and she couldn’t be more right. She agrees to bring Roxie with her to flee the town of hell and they run off together, that ending being the end of the first story.

Second one would show Roxie as the main character and a bit of her backstory, still unknown, and how she ran off with the girl to continue on with their lives across the country. Roxie and the girl are polar differences, and Roxie finds herself blind to this. She thinks that her and the girl are meant to be, star crossed lovers, partners in crime. But little does she know that as the story goes on, the girl begins to despise Roxie. Roxie is relentless and careless, continuing on to murder people in their new area without even trying to be secretive or clean. The girl hates this, as she is the opposite of Roxie and always double or even triple checks that theres no way to trace her back to the crime. However, the girl keeps up her image that she’s obident to Roxie and tries not to show that she was planning to kill her. Then one night, they’re both sitting down at opposite ends of the table for a nice dinner that Roxie insisted they attend. Theres clearly built up tension between them, specificallyat the girls end, but Roxie is known to be a dunce and doesn’t realize how much the girl was holding back. Roxie rambles on and on during the dinner, overtaking the music the girl had put on in hopes to drown out both Roxie and her own thoughts, but that wasn’t working out. Finally, Roxie begins to explain her plan for her next killing, someone important to the community, and that strikes the girl very quickly. The girl questions her thought process on how she expects to get away with it, but Roxie tells her to relax and allow her to do what she needs to do. The girl smiles back, an unhinged look in her eye, before getting up to take a second in the kitchen to herself. She does everything she can to compose herself, but that breadknife on the counter is practically screaming to be used. She takes the knife and sneaks up on Roxie at the table, killing her right then and there, and allowing the story to be bought back to her perspective. She fines herself to finally be free, having a moment of breakthrough and dancing around in the pool of blood left by Roxie. And once again, she flees to another country and starts over. Story two over.

Edit from June 13th, 2023 - Tuesday: this story has been and continues to change every time I go to think about this so now that i’m rereading it, I’m laughing at how pathetic it was. But it’s growing into something beautiful, I swear.

Third story, starts off with a news report of Roxie and the entire story of what they called “the student slaughterer”. The girl was able to successfully frame Roxie for every killing commited in both communities they left in as well as faking her own death by leaving behind a few toes and teeth, compsoing some elaborate story of how Roxie was an obsessive stalker of her and eventually became overwhelmed with jealousy and killed her before killing herself. In the new place, the girl finds herself to be liked greatly by her peers now that she’s completely altered her identity. She’s making new friends, doing great in school, and best of all, not killing anyone. It doesn’t take long for a boy to begin to develop feelings for her and ask her out, to which she contains her normal outlook and accepts it. Only after did she find out that the boy is infatuated with crime and mystery, specifcally over the crimes that she had commited. He can somehow see right through the story she built up for Roxie and knew that the other girl involved, herself, had to be the mastermind behind it all. But, his stupidity restricts him from seeing right through the girl and doesn’t even notice the resemblance, only to find himself falling in love with the girl. They continue to date for the story and eventually, she agrees to help him with his home investigation to help him find the true murderer behind the many killings commited. Finally, they’ve found themselves sitting outside and going over the entire case before the girl points something out. She tells him he’s wrong about something, he asks how she knows, and with a fit of insanity, she admits to him that she’s the one who was behind it all. He, of course, is completely dumbfounded and betrayed as she explains every step she took throughout the entire case, rambling to him how clever she is that not even those who dedicate their whole lives to finding her can see that she’s right in front of him. She goes on to tell him she’s never loved him, but instead found it amusing to be there next to him while he pushed him down a path of completely wrong evidence of the case, throwing him right of her trail. Then, just as she was about to push him from the cliff, he turns around and pushed her instead, finally ending the series.

The thing about this series, though, is that it’s not meant to be scary or understandable or even unpredictable, it’s meant to be how easily the girl is able to find beauty in such terrible acts she commits. With almost every murder, she leaves their body in a way of what she considers art for the police to find them as, at some points even convering herself in their blood. She’s an artist.

1:32 pm

God, I am so bored. I just got back from an hour and a half lunch break, smelling like fire after almost setting my house to flames toasting english muffins. Who knew putting frozen muffins in a toaster would start a fire?? Not me, jesus. I’m still trying to wrap my head around my earlier notes, continuing to research of course, and I found that the book My Year of Rest and Relaxation is a big part of that whole genre. I’m in the midst of reading it, but it simply doesn’t interest me. It’s boring and I don’t understand how her therapist can’t see through her act, constantly being prescribed with sleeping pills just so she can add an extra hour to her 17 hours of sleep. I mean, I also love to sleep, but 17 hours jesus christ. Get a lobotomy.

No fucking way. I’m trying so hard not to laugh in the office right now after hearing someone over the radio talking about the lawsuit against archive of our own. Thats fucking amazing. See, I’ve read fanfiction, obviously, but shutting down the webstie?? I do agree some people who linger on there seriously need to drink a glass of water while sitting outside to get some fresh air and a tan on their transparent skin, but come on, at least they’re reading. I’ve read fanfiction, but not constantly. I like to read ones that are basically just online books with names of characters I know. Half the time, these characters' personalities aren’t even accurate to their true persona, but the plots are just so damn interesting sometimes.

Heres something super random. I watch a lot of different shows just like how I listen to music. If it’s good, I’ll watch it, I dont care when it was made, who made it, the people in it, nothing. If it’s good, I’ll watch, I’ll listen. I watch anime, not a lot, but the interesting ones. And I think someone seriously needs to do a study on the fact that Attack On Titan is literally the Breaking Bad of anime. Nothing to do with the plot lines or characteristics of either shows, but the fanbase. If you’ve ever seen Family Guy, theres an episode (s11e9) where Peter watches Breaking Bad and all it is is someone repeating over and over again, “You’ll tell your friends to watch the show, the show is amazing, the show is the best show out there” etc, etc. I find that so funny because no matter how many times I attempt to watch Breaking Bad, I just can’t get into it no matter how many times I try. It’s just not important or interesting to me. Same with Attack On Titan, I made it to somewhere in season 3 before giving up and realizing the show just isn’t as good as what everyone says it is. But yet, both fanbases demand that these shows are masterpieces, awardwinners, the all time greatest shows anyone can ever see or make. In my opinion, Attack On Titan is nothing compared to Death Note, but I guess everyone has their own thoughts.

I also need someone to do a study on the amount of fucking fan service in most animes. Like oh my god. Some of them have such amazing plots, absolutely scrum dumpish plot points, but the you’ll be watching it peaceful and all the sudden 2 SIBLINGS are scary close or someone suddenly has no clothes on. Like what the fuck is that? How do people enjoy watching shit like that? It’s not interesting. As soon as I see anything like that, I immediately turn the show off, so how do they still have viewers? That’s the only reason I was actually able to put up with AOT for so long before stopping due to boredom, they had absolutely no fan service. Even the kids shows in anime are terrible for fan service like come on, this is really what you want your kids to see? But like I said, I watch more regular tv than I do anime and if I had to choose one or the other, definitely real shows.

I love Stranger Things, The Office, YOU, Family Guy, Black Mirror, and Midnight Gospel. Majority of the shows I choose either have the mystery/horror concept, or they’re just simple comedy shows. I don’t like romance much unless they extremely interesting and have more than just a relationship. I don’t like action movies unless it’s tragic or the actors are hot. Only action movie I’ve ever seen is Batman Begins, solely because my two favourite dilfs are the hero and the villain, what better combination than that? I know I said earlier I don’t watch things for those reasons, but I have my exceptions. I do, however, love Disney movies. The Lion King is one of my favourite movies of all time, soundtrack is amazing, plotline is amazing, characters are amazing, absolute 10/10 best Disney movie ever created, fight me if you disagree. Just kidding, don’t, my wrists are too weak for that shit. I don’t fight, I kill people by lowering their self esteem to nothing. I’m good with words, but not physical fighting.

I think someones all time favourite song really describes them as a person. And don’t even try saying “Oh, I love all songs! I couldn’t choose just one” bitch shut the fuck up we all have a favourite song stop trying to be different. My favourite song is probably one of the worst and most vile songs in all of history, A Little Piece of Heaven by Avenged Sevenfold. It’s an 8 minute long song all about a man who kill his wife after saying no to his proposal, fucked her dead body, and kept her body perserved so he could keep her forever, but she comes back alive to retake her body and kill him the same way he killed her. They find themselves in the afterlife, get married, and go on a killing spree to live happily ever after. Best fucking song ever. I don’t care if the lyrics are awful, the song is a god damn masterpiece and sounds as if it had been taken straight out of a demonic musical. Love it. Second favourite song? Liquid Smooth by Mitski. Two very different songs, I know, but two songs that I can easily create a story to go with in my head. Mitski, if you ever see this, please let me make a music video for Liquid Smooth, it would be so amazing and fit the song so god damn well, you’d love it. Third favourite song? I was all over her by salvia palth. That song has never failed making me cry.

Other than co-op, I’m part of a class called GENESIS where we learn all about biking, canoeing, hiking, and surviving in the wilderness. Not my thing at all but lowkey enjoying it. It takes up all 4 credits for the semester meaning I’m stuck with the same group of people the entire time. Theres 17 in total in my class, 9 girls and 8 boys, and we’re all extremely different. We have 5 exchange students in the class and they like to situate themselves with each other only, even if they’re not from the same countries. I have a feeling that they secretly think they’re above the rest of us simply because they’re from European countries, but oh well. It’s also very funny to see how different we all are from each other. All of us have much different personalities, sense of style, interests, and I can’t say a single one of us even look similar in the slightest. Obviously, these things are just what makes us human, but I still find it fascinating. We all went to completely different places for co-op, but they’re all fairly normal places. The second week of the class, we took a trip for 4 days to stay in the middle of the woods, learning the basics of the class while also learning more about each other since our teachers like to consider this class “one big family”... yeah no. See, I’ll put up with these people for now, but likely never again. No offense to any of them, they’re all great people, but after being around some people for this long, I’ll be more than happy to go our seperate ways. No hard feelings either, I put most people I meet into this category and like to keep my friend group relatively small. After the trip, I guess you could say we’re all acquaintances, maybe they consider it friendships but not me. It’s just that most of the kids in the class are extroverts who try to make me one too but if I don’t wanna talk, I don’t wanna talk. Either that, or they don’t talk at all. Theres literally no inbetween other than me. I’m also overall not a very friendly or approachable person so I don’t mind that they don’t always want to talk to me or I’m not really anyones first choice, I don’t have a first choice either so theres no problem there. Besides, the only people I’d attempt to befriend would be the exchange students since we all know the friendships with them would be temporary after they go back, but sometimes it’s hard to make conversation with them and I think one of the girls may be holding something against me, but I can’t tell. All I know is that she doesn’t necessarily like me and as their “groups leader”, they all kind of follow suit. It’s funny though because out of most people in the class, I’d say her and I would likely get along the best from the little amount of conversations we’ve had, but I could be wrong.

I just found a pimple in my eyebrow and it hurts really bad. Also, back to the topic of music, I fucking hate the music being created today. Especially what place on radio stations. Currently playing is ABCED fuck you, I can’t fathom enough how much that song makes me want to pour cement in my ears so I never have to hear anything like it again. Another one is Anti-hero by T Swift. I love her and her songs and yeah the new album is okay but I mean damn, after playing it 5 times in an hour it gets a little boring. All the music today is just trying way too hard to remake old songs or even sampling other songs. It’s just not good. In my opinion, the best era for music was the early 2000s going into the 2010s, EARLY 2010s. Every genre of music was absolutely thriving and so many great artists were becoming huge during this time, artists so great that they’re still extremely relevant today.

orchid, mahonia, chia, edelweiss, papyrus? :0

HI BESTIEEEE sorry this took all day i was at work and then tumblr didn’t save any of my very long reply that i’d already made

orchid -> what's a song you consider to be perfect?

oh fuck this is tough there’s a ton. i would say right now this live version of miami 2017 by billy joel, the original studio version is pretty perfect but the power behind these live vocals is just unmatched

i would also give bonus points to 4 Leaf Clover by Ravyn Lanae, Kalopsia by Queens of the Stone Age, My Sister by Angel Olsen, and My Baby’s Taking Me Home by Sparks. bonus mention to Face to Face by Daft Punk which i don’t think is a perfect song but is one of the coolest pieces of music i’ve ever heard. there’s some great videos breaking down the samples that song uses, a couple of which haven’t even been found yet

mahonia -> what place, thing, activity inspires you most and how do you express yourself when it does?

honestly i don’t know. seeing live music helps me wanna make music but honestly i feel the most motivated to make things when they come out of just raw high emotion. like right now i’m dealing with a traumatic situation and i’m not doing super well but i also really wanna get all that shit just like out so im more motivated than ever to make something out of it. it’s a bit bleak but true, a lot of the stuff i’ve been proudest of has come out of the urge to vent outweighing the fear of not making “good” art. not to say i shouldn’t get help or i’ll lose my ability to make things i’m proud of, but i’m the most inspired when i have overwhelming emotions i feel the need to turn into something productive

chia -> what's an inside joke you have with someone else?

DRACULA CHRISTMAS DRACULA CHRISTMAS DRACULA CHRISTMAS

edelweiss -> how'd you think of your url/ username? what's it associated with to you?

someone asked me about this in a reply this morning lol, it was a dumb joke at work. we were talking about different livestock milks outside of goats and cows and thought the phrase “hog milk” was so fucking funny but that was taken so it became hogmilked which is infinitely more harrowing

papyrus -> if you put your 'on repeat' playlist on shuffle, what's the first song that comes up? what do you like about it / associate it with?

i can’t find an on repeat playlist on tidal which is what i use, but i have been coping with the aforementioned traumatic experience with two specific albums so i’ll recommend a song off that

i talk a ton about suede these days but their debut album (along with …Like Clockwork by Queens of the Stone Age) has been my comfort albums the last couple days and a good portion of what i’ve been listening to. i love the whole album but this is my favorite song off it by far. i’ve said it many times before but everyone, especially those who like 90s alt and britpop, should listen to suede’s self titled debut. perfect album imo

[ask game]

january 15, 2023

today’s song of the day is a classic: black beauty by lana del rey <3

i can’t say enough good things about lana del rey. i fell in love with her music when i was in middle school, and have gotten continuously more and more into it ever since. she is just such a talented artist, and her music and lyricism are stunning. every time i listen to one of her songs after realizing i haven’t heard it in a while, i end up putting her discography on shuffle for a week so i can appreciate it again.

most of my favorite individual songs of lana’s are from born to die or lust for life, but ultraviolence is undoubtedly an incredible album. black beauty is one of my current favorites on ultraviolence. i absolutely love the chorus and the way it feels almost lighter than the rest of the song. it’s just a work of art, really.

there’s also a 50-50 chance listening to black beauty will take away your seasonal depression for the duration of the song <3

hi look at qaz’s (my) top album releases of 2022!!! in no particular order. some of my fav tracks like this. lyrics below. i probably forgot a few? don’t worry about it

AMERICAN GURL - kilo kish     american gurl, on the outside (justin’s song)

in a locked box / in a locked drawer / will i find me an american girl?

this is a capital-A Album. kilo kish has been on the periphery of artists i keep tabs on for like 8 years now and im so glad i sat down and listened to this release all the way through. talks about/around being, well, an American Gurl, but in a much more realistic and relatable way than lana. v cool. u must hear it in order (at least the first time)!!!!!

CHASE - minho    prove it, heartbreak

i haven’t sat with this one as long as the others but i already know these songs are gonna stick with me!! waterfall has recently been on my mind :-)

Sweet Home - no buses    stopstopstop, i’m with you, rubbish:)

if i can’t come to you, take me to the place where you are

albums that singlehandedly make you excited about indie rock again i’m not even exaggerating. a little downbeat overall, but cozy. i’m 90% sure their band name comes from the arctic monkeys song and that they are also influenced by early phoenix, if that gives you an idea of their sound. but don’t misunderstand, i don’t think it’s derivative! just gives me similar feelings of being emotionally affected by guitars that listening to is this it for the first time did.

The Car - arctic monkeys    sculptures of anything goes, mr. schwartz, big ideas

i had big ideas, the band were so excited / the kind you'd rather not share over the phone

i’ve been on band tumblr since i think right before the AM era and this is quite a departure from that stadium rock vibe but it feels like a natural progression from their previous (excellent) sprawling concept album. each song has a real charm to it, i’ve been really into most of them in turns.

2 Baddies - nct 127    gold dust, designer, crash landing, time lapse

HI HELLO. NEED I SAY MORE. i will though. FASTER INTO 2 BADDIES?? HI. that transition is so good. are you kidding me!!! on first listen i really thought faster should’ve been the title track lol. the first seven tracks are PERFECT. a couple of the other songs inspire ummm. mirth. let’s put it that way. and the closer is fine. but the great parts balance out the mid and even the mid parts have their merits. plus i really like that this album makes sense sonically as a cohesive whole, i think the vaguely cyberpunk promo imagery from the album teaser actually pays off!

Instinct Part 2 - onlyoneof    skinz, gaslighting

what can i say??? this was my first comeback with onlyoneof and it cemented their spot as one of my favorite bands/groups of all time. i know many people took issue with the tt skinz but i love its nails-on-a-chalkboard moments with my whole heart. on first listen gaslighting held my attention and it never let me go. suit dance, once i got past the kind of silly lyrics, is just so pleasant to listen to. and ultimate bliss. what can i say. peak onlyoneof. incredible.

Face The Sun - seventeen    domino, shadow, hot

to be honest this has got to be the first straight pop album that i ever listened to that was genuinely no skips. and that would earn it a spot on here even if the songs were aggressively mid. bUT THEY AREN’T. 

LP3 - hippo campus    ashtray, semi-pro

i’ve been bad but i’m only getting better

i’ll be real i forgot this came out this year till i was recently reminded that i saw them live for it and it was so so good... hippo campus’ lyricism blends really well with their production in this album in a way i haven’t seen before!! i might call it a coming of age album for the twentysomething lost in a city. something like that maybe.

CYBERKISS* - blackstarkids    pink stars, sex appeal

gotta stay fresh as fuck inside this user interface / even when i’m feelin down, i know that i’ll be up again

so very fun!! same label as the 1975 which makes a lot of sense looking back on it but like, in a good way i think. i love how they all share the vocals, i love the hyperpop and bubblegum influence, love the genuine lyrics and the silly ones. just a joy to listen to.

undergrOund idOl series - onlyoneof    begin, because

begin was my top played song of 2022. it’s really something. i wasn’t sure what to expect when they announced a solo for each member, but i think their creative freedom was really put to good use here!! each song stands alone and together and they all have a recognizable onlyoneof-ness, they all feel very unique to each other and suited to their respective members. that’s not to mention the b-sides that come with every new song-- remixes of old bsides, all great (even if the company is doing it so they have versions of bsides without love on them :/ ). and that’s not even mentioning the music videos!! they all tell stories about gay relationships :] i’m very much looking forward to nine’s solo in a few days to close out the series!! <3