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romanoffsbish · 2 years

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Containment Level: Necessary?

WandaNat x Fem!Reader

Warning: Tony’s a little shit; Human sized hamster ball… 😳, sick!reader.

Mostly just funny / fluffy 😂

A precious anon said that they’d been sick for a week now so I quickly wrote this for them, their request was vague enough so I might’ve had a bit of fun, and now I’m going to sleep. 🤪

2,534 Words

This… This is not at all what Natasha and Wanda were expecting to find upon entering the compound in their search for you.

They’d been absolutely shell shocked to find you not waiting for them as they returned from their week long mission, and if the lovers were being honest they were terribly disappointed. You always met them at the hangar, a bright smile, and warm hug to greet them, and then you would dote over them for the simplest of scratches, you were truly their comfort person.

——

So, to see you in your current state it didn’t really answer any of their questions, or help to fizzle their concerns, not even in the slightest. Wanda took a tentative step forward to get a better view of you—you who was absolutely passed out inside of what appeared to be a human sized hamster ball. Natasha was still stood in the doorway with her face screwed up, confusion not even the tip of what she’s feeling, then after a second to process she’s beside her girlfriend, observant eyes taking in your beyond dead to the world state, and then she’s pretty sure of what’s gone down.

Just as Wanda went to tap the structure a new body had joined the common area with an iPad in one hand, and a coffee in the other, all while being none the wiser to the returned threats. “Well Y/N/N, good news! Your covid test came back negative, but it appears you have the flu, so my prescription is for you to remain in the bubble until Friday tells me you’re no longer a threat. I can’t afford your germs reaching me.,” Wanda’s eyes narrow when she hears his words, and Natasha’s face takes up a scowl., “Yeah, at your big age we’re fairly certain it would be to your unfortunate demise.”

Tony squeaks, coffee splashing everywhere as he pulls his iPad into his chest and takes a few cautious steps back all for the sake of safety., “Ladies, thank heavens you’re back…,” he cooly relays, but Wanda can hear his heart skipping, and Natasha can see much the same by means of the vein in his neck pulsing., “Y/N fell ill as you can see…,” Wanda waves and cuts him off., “When exactly did you do this to her Tony?”

“Um…,” his eyes dart between the mad women, his plans to run clear on his face, so the women take immediate action, Tony’s foot barely had a chance to lift off before Wanda wrapped him up in her magic, and Natasha approached him., “You have one more chance to do this the easy way Stark.,” he gulps but his lips stay locked. Natasha shrugs at the man who’s settled on an unfavorable fate, a faux twinkle of sympathy in her eyes as she is forced to call upon the AI.

“Friday, how long has Y/N been sick?,” he went to command her silence but Wanda physically zipped his lips shut with her powers, smirking when she sees the immense fear in his eyes., “Well, It appears she fell under the weather two days after you left, and Mr. Stark put her in the containment bubble that same afternoon.”

Tuesday—you’ve been in this bubble of stale oxygen for fucking five days, and the women were beyond livid with the lack of care shown. Wanda’s powers nearly strangled the man as she began to stew in her anger, then she caught her girlfriend’s equally as livid eyes, and so the two engaged in a silent conversation that left Tony beyond petrified, he’s certain a shiver would’ve run down his spine already had he not lost all feeling in his extremities.

Natasha turns to face the man once more, a bone chilling smirk plastered across her face., “Are you ready now moya lyubov’?,” Wanda’s suddenly soft voice called out to the woman who lived to taunt her victims, and so she winked at him for good measure before returning to the witches side with arms out., “Most definitely krasivaya.,” she purrs before kissing her lips to add to the man’s torture.

Wanda pulls back with a wide smile, then with an abrupt swish of her hands your slumped form was cradled against Natasha’s chest, and in the same second Tony’s being dropped into his previous method of containment., “No, please, anything but this… I’m too pretty to die.”, he pitifully pleads, his hands landing on the inner surface until he’s falling back with a loud screech., “Oh God, it’s wet, why is it wet?!”

Wanda laughs maniacally, her head thrown back, and Natasha finds the sight equally as amusing as Tony’s pain, the sudden thought of her in a pointy hat, and riding off into the sky on a broom earns her a glare, but it’s still worth it to imagine that her title would be so fitting., “That’s enough of that Natalia, let’s get our girl up to the room, and while you do that I’ll go to the store so I can make some homemade soup, and get her the proper items for her care.”

Natasha smiles down at your sickly form, her heart absolutely overflowing with love when you instinctually nuzzled into her embrace., “Sounds perfect.,” she beams, and the witch feels a twinge of jealousy in her heart when she hears how she plans to cuddle up to you, and with that she’s sprinting right out the door.

Tony’s pleads were reverberating off the walls of the sphere, echoing around him mockingly as Wanda added a touch of soundproofing. Friday couldn’t hear him either, so he laid there in his own misery—karma is a sexy bitch.

—

Natasha held you incredibly close, the inferno that was to touch your skin wasn’t a turn off, but the smell of you had her wincing, and it was then she realized that a bath was in order., “Dorogoy…,” she gently coo’d while shaking you, but you were deep in your sleepy state., “Honey-bunny, time to take a bath.,” she said a bit louder, smirking down when you groaned at the unwelcome, familiar nickname, and your tired eyes slowly opened to glare up at her.

After a few beats of silence you felt an urge to bury yourself back into the warmth of the woman who had her arm over you. Days in the no-no ball left you truly touch deprived, you were desperate for her offered comfort, the radiating warmth was a plus, but then your mind caught up to you, and you were nervous. You couldn’t really smell—like at all, but Nat’s hinting words, upturned nose, and with your ability to still critically think you deduced that the odor you were emitting was likely putrid.

“Tasha, why are you cuddling me?,” her smile fell, now worried she had possibly overstepped, and her heart was near to breaking at the budding potential of your future rejections., “Don’t pretend that I don’t smell like a rat who just ran through a dumpster fire.,” she laughed, partially in relief, then she booped your nose., “Well, at least you’d make a cute rat…,” her lips curling as your croaky giggles filled the space.

Not a second later though was she sitting you both up and slamming her hand into your back to aide you as a set of rather brutal, dry coughs worked hard to tear your throat right apart. Her heart then breaking in two when she saw the fresh tears streaming down your face, and when your body naturally slumped against her she realized she’d need to aide you in bathing. With a gentle smile only reserved for you, and her longtime love she settled you back down., “I’m going to run you a tepid bath dorogoy.,” and after she sweetly kissed your clammy forehead she was off to do just that.

Staring up at the ceiling as you waited you were left to wonder where the redheads other half was at, and to also know how you even got out. You do your best to imagine their reactions, you can just picture Wanda’s head tilting, and Nat’s fists punching Tony’s stupid face, they’d always been super protective over you, and Tony’s always been a little shit so this wouldn’t even have been his first beat down over you., “What’s so funny huh?,” you peered over to see that she’d changed into a tank and shorts, the sight of her in such simple clothes always had you feeling some type of way, and her smug smirk let you know that she knew.

“Is Tony alive?,” she snorted, then let you in on his current predicament as she scoops you up., “Serves the bastard right for locking me up like that, did you see the makeshift toilet hatch?,” Natasha sees the genuine pain in your eyes, and it has her thinking she’d be up for a unique game of kickball., “Yeah, he’s a royal twat, I’m sorry he did that. Next time call us Y/N/N, and don’t even say you didn’t want to bother us.,” you huffed at her annoying ability to know exactly what you’re going to say before you do.

Natasha settled you onto the counter, and you stared at her with wide eyes when she didn’t leave after., “If you can stand without swaying I’ll go, if not, I’m staying and you can trust I’ll be nothing short of respectful.,” and as if she was the psychic you could barely take a step., “Why do you think I changed? Had to prepare myself for the splash zone.,” she teased to ease your obvious nerves, and you rolled your eyes at her lame joke.

Once you settled into the water your body jolted, the tepid water feeling far more frigid on your feverish skin, and Natasha then settled you down with a soft shove to your shoulder. True to her word, as always, she was nothing short of respectful, she even told you stories of the week gone by just to further settle your nerves. You closed your eyes, sighing in total contentment when she worked the products through your hair, and her nimble fingers massaged your scalp with a relieving purpose.

A plush robe was wrapped around your body, then with her hands over your covered hips she helped you to rebuild your strength as she guided you to your bed., “How do you feel?,” you hummed, watching in amusement as she knew exactly where to find your hoodies., “Much better Natty, thank you for helping.,” She said nothing, her eyes telling you that your words were actually offensive, and so you averted your gaze elsewhere.

Wanda entered the room just as Natasha was helping to ease a shirt over your raised arms, your exposed back more than she bargained for, not that she was complaining, she was actually just jealous of Natasha’s better angle. Just as she was about to make a snarky remark you’d turned to face her, and the way you reached out for her with a goofy smile had it instantly fading from her brain., “Not fair!,” Natasha grumbled, but she was ignored by all present parties.

Wanda settled your tray onto the desk, then she lifted your partially dressed form off the bed, and into a tight hug., “I do all the work, and you get all the glory.,” you giggle as the scary assassin throws a tantrum over your affections., “You’re free to join Natty.,” and even though Wanda glares at her to back off she throws her arms around the both of you, and drags you guys down onto the mattress.

“Be careful with our precious honey-bun.,” Wanda teases, you groan and try to push them away, but in your weakened state it’s pointless., “Be real, you couldn’t even get us off in your healthiest form.,” the witch laughs and you narrow your eyes in her direction, then look over to her girlfriend with a pout., “Aww, I’m sure you could totally push Wanda off.,” she reasons, then in a thoughtless moment she pecks your chapped lips, and you fall back onto the bed with a brain turned to absolute mush., “Great going Nat, you broke her…,” Wanda turns your face by way of your chin, then she pecks your lips next to get the message across.

“Not exactly how we’d planned to ask you out, but Y/N, we’d really love a chance to do so.,” The room remains silent for what feels like hours, but your thoughts were loud, and the witch was semi grateful for the front row seat to your panicked debating., “Honey, your soup is getting cold, and my patience is running low. Stop worrying, nothing will change, besides the fact that we’ll be able to love you openly now.,” You prop yourself up on your elbows, searching her eyes to find the truth, and once you find it you lay back down with a tired smile., “Ooh, and we’ll get to kiss you whenever we want, which is always if you were ever wondering.,” Natasha adds, and you wheeze., “You two are probably going to get sick now…”

They both shrug, and in perfect mental synchrony Natasha yanks you up, ignoring your shocked squeals that bridge the line of coughs as she pulls your back flush to her front, and a spoon pushes at your mouth., “Open up love bug, the faster you eat, the quicker we can get you medicated and settled in between us.,” you waste no time obeying her command, and she winks, “Such a good girl…,” her incredulous laughter at your widened eyes has you attempting to shrink away but Natasha as an unavoidable barrier leaves you stuck., “Stay still detka, no need to earn a punishment so soon…,” both of them share a smirk when you gulp down the soup, and settle yourself.

—

Wanda and Natasha took turns cuddling up to you while the other took a shower, and though you tried to stay awake you were still sick, so when Nat came out in your clothes you weren’t even able to appreciate the sight, but she was. Wanda was humming a Sokovian lullaby while running her hand through your soft hair, her other was mindlessly tracing figure eights over your exposed hip, and with her eyes still closed she rolls her eyes then whispers to not disturb you., “Stop being such a creep, and climb in so that we can start the Dick Van Dyke show.”

Natasha furrows her brow at the show named., “Go ahead and start without me moya lyubov’, I have some balls to kick.,” she too whispers, leaning over you to kiss her girlfriend’s lips, then she settles one to your temple when she pulls back, then she winks at Wanda’s offended face, and effortlessly avoids the thrown pills., “Better yet, sleep on the damn couch!,” you stirred slightly, but with a few seconds of humming you were back to peacefully sleeping. “Goodnight our sweet girl, we love you.,” and within only a few minutes Wanda was out too, the mission having finally caught up to her now that you were in much better conditions.

—————————————————

#natasha romanoff #wanda maximoff #wandanat imagine #wandanat pov #wandanat oneshot #wandanat fluff #wanda x you x nat #wanda x natasha #wandanat #wanda maximoff x natasha romanoff #wandanat x you #wandanat x y/n #wandanat x female reader #wandanat x reader #natasha romanoff x female reader #wanda maximoff x female reader #gxg

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the-resurrection-3d · 2 years

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I feel like Elon Musk trying to buy Twitter fascinates me so much because I agree with a lot of his assessments of it -- but the more I think about it, the more I find the project of rehabbing Twitter’s reputation incredibly daunting. (and also I’m fascinated by web design and its effects on behavior.)

Tumblr partially rehabbed its image only via a mass exodus of users-- certainly staff has been making some positive changes, such as tipping and the “non rebloggable” option that allegedly will exist soon, but I think we can all agree that the reason Tumblr is seen by many as calmer than before is because of the porn ban.... whereupon all the worst users went to Twitter.

I’ve already posted about the content moderation issue that plagues most social media sites. (Fun new example from Youtube: I was watching a stream where one superchatter was asking for advice about how to comfort his elderly, COVID+ father, and another chatter was suggesting a bath of Epsom salt for aches and it got fucking deleted as COVID misinfo while the streamer was reading it out loud.)

Multiple posts/threads/videos have been about this, but I think that so much of Twitter’s user interface is designed to make you want to tell people to swallow glass that to actually tackle the harassment problem-- as Musk indicated he wanted to do very recently --you’d need to redesign the whole thing. A few “the devil is in the details” things that stand out to me personally:

the What’s Happening tab stands out the most to me because I actually recently installed a Ublock Origin filter to get rid of it. There should never, EVER under any circumstances be a trend-- especially a political trend-- that I am not able to banish to the fucking Shadow Realm. Ever.

this feature can also amplify harassment by directing people to the Twitter Main Character of the Day. Though, to be fair, this is really a problem with the site’s users and not so much the feature in a vacuum.

Inserting random shit onto your timeline also needs to go. Part of the reason I don’t like using my professional account is because I’ll get a bunch of “liked by whoever” tweets that are about people’s family members dying or OP getting diagnosed with cancer, which obviously the person I follow liked out of sympathy.

quote-retweets are pretty much only used for dunking on other people. Even visually, the quote-retweet is “pushing down,” as it were, on the OP, privileging their voice over OP’s. I think part of the problem with them is that they cut notifications off from the source-tweeter; this is why so many artists have “NO QRTS” in their bios. But this means that you can reap all the dopamine of a “hit tweet” by QRTing someone else.

also worth noting that, though you’re allowed to RT things onto multiple accounts from the app, you still have to go into QRT mode to select the account you want.

oh god remember during the election when they made QRTing pretty much mandatory

Something I’ve noticed that is Twitter seems to be dealing with this trend of mass-QRTing people into oblivion by arbitrarily pretending the QRTs aren’t there. I’m sure other people have noticed this, right? The page with the parakeet with the big cut-out human eyes? Very odd.

This one is probably the most obvious, but as many others have noticed, the way longer threads are displayed does the work of taking shit out of context for you.

The character limit. Oh, the character limit. This will always be a fundamental problem with Twitter so long as people treat it as a real website and not an RSS feed.

Things I like about twitter got gov dot net that should stay:

Allowing you to go private at any time without blocking your followers from viewing your content. This is one thing I think Twitter has over Tumblr, hands-down.

Private bookmarking, though I think there should be some way to organize them, similar to how ao3 has bookmarking tags and collections.

Allowing people to make lists of users to follow that’s separate from their “main” list of followed accounts. I follow one list of nothing but magazine accounts and it’s great.

That time during the election when Twitter (at least the app) had a pop-up chiding you for retweeting a link you hadn’t opened. I think they should bring this back. Honestly, it might even be worth it to outright block you from retweeting links you haven’t opened, or at least tweaking the algorithm so that likes/RTs from people who haven’t opened the link are discounted. Musk mentioned recently that he thinks free speech and shadowbanning people can co-exist (which I find funny, because a lot of the people who complain about censorship also complain about shadowbanning), so this change would work with that idea.

downvoting replies is hilarious and I love it

Of course, part of the problem with the site, too, is that people are trying to break its features over their knees to make it work for a ton of different communities with tons of different needs. 50+ tweet threads are the best example of this-- especially when you see one and the very first, most-liked reply is someone @ing the thread-unroller bot so that it’s in a more comprehensive and readable form. And THEN OP complains about it because it’s stealing money from them, somehow.

Honestly, Musk should pull a Fortnite and take the site offline for a month or two while it gets revamped. All the worst users will kill themselves and the problem will have sorted itself out!

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romancandlebyelliottsmith · 3 months

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cw: SA, $/h,

you know you did something fucked up and I made that abundantly clear to you. You had so many different opportunities to apologize or try and make it up to me, and what did you do? Not a goddamn thing. You have no fucking clue what I’ve been through because of you and you have no idea the way I used to think so highly of you. I would talk about what you did to people but then beg them to keep you in a good light because I thought you had some sort of semblance of good. But, that was all extremely wishful thinking. I have defended you in conversation, I have acknowledged your better traits, I have lied and covered for your ass. I’ve done this for years now. And only now, when you think you’ve “changed”, you come to me to apologize?

Firstly, if you didn’t want an actual relationship with me, you should’ve fucking said that so we could’ve avoided all of this to begin with. There are family members of mine who have passed away who knew about us and, as far as it can be considered, still do. I would’ve never agreed to do this if you never wanted a relationship with me. I’m not a quick fuck.

Second, even if you are sorry, it doesn’t change the fact that you have left a crater in your abscence. I have avoided Walmart like the plague for about two years now. I saw your best friend at Subway and almost threw up. I’ve seen him and his girlfriend at the fair and have hid from them. God fucking forbid I see your cousin in public. Any time I see someone who looks like you in public, I go into fight or flight mode. I’ve had people come up and ask about us and what happened when they have no fucking right to ever do that and I have resisted the urge to choke them the fuck out. When I go out and I see you pass by in public in your car (I always fucking know it’s you), it ruins my entire fucking day. You have no idea what you have done to me. What was a fun little month long fling for you has been a fucking nightmare for me for almost three fucking years. I hate sex. I hate intimacy of any extent. I have panic attacks regularly.

Third of all, my senior year was fucking terrible. When we went to our state competition, I was quite literally hallucinating and going through psychosis. I was arguing with my parents a lot. I had tried to kill myself twice and when I tried to tell you, someone I thought was a friend about it, you called me selfish. You want to know selfish? Breaking up with your girlfriend of two years, making a giant spectacle out of it for a girl you could barely stand for a month, cheating on her, dumping her for another girl, and THEN not only cheating on that girl too, but then fucking COMING BACK TO THE ORIGINAL GIRL YOU DUMPED YOUR GF FOR, saying some fuck shit about “YOU’RE SORRY”??? Have you even apologized to your ex? Where the fuck do you get off on this? What part of your brain makes this an okay thing to do? Why the fuck would you do this to me? Why would you do this to people who care about you? If I ever meet your ex, I’m going to fucking give her financial compensation for the shit you’ve put the both of us through.

Do you realize I missed the burial of my grandfather’s urn to hang out with you? The same burial that had been put off for 3 years because the ground was frozen and because of Covid? The same fucking grandfather who died on what would’ve been our one month anniversary? Do you ever see something that reminds you of me? Not just, “Oh, that’s kind of like Kyle”. Something that just immediately takes you back to that time. It happens to me every single fucking day. I was getting to a point where I was getting better and was starting to move on. But, guess what happened! You got bored of whatever girl you’ve been leading on this month and you went through your back catalogue of manipulation and thought, “Oh, it was only a month long thing. Maybe if I bat my eyes enough and feign sympathy enough, maybe she’ll let me fuck!”

No. That’s not how this going to go. You had every opportunity to man the fuck up and grow a pair and apologize. This shit may not mean anything to you but it’s meant so fucking much to me. There’s no point in going everything you’ve done wrong because I know it wouldn’t matter to you. You’re not going to ever fucking care. I have tried to show nothing but patience and compassion and sympathy towards you. And what did that get me? Trauma that is going to follow me for the rest of my life. It has gotten me fired from places. It has ruined my friendships, my relationships, my outlook on life, my state of mind, my fucking everything. But, I’m so so so sorry you think you’ve changed enough to deserve any sort of sympathy on my half. If I ever see you again, I will fucking kill you.

#do not reblog #kyle vent #actually ptsd #actually traumatized #post traumatic stress disorder #ptsd #trauma survivor #intimate partner abuse #intimate partner violence #ipv awareness #abuse mention #cw s/h mention #cw abuse #cw sa #cw sui mention #vent blog #reblogs

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nerdzzone · 3 years

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-More Hearts Than Mine-

Summary: Raising a child is hard. Raising a child with one of Hollywood’s biggest stars is even harder. And raising a child with one of Hollywood’s biggest stars who you’re not actually in a relationship with is even harder still.

Especially when a global pandemic is sweeping the world.

With lockdowns and stay at home orders looming on the horizon, the uncertainty of their situation becomes almost too much for Whitney Taylor to handle. Chris suggests that they quarantine together to avoid any potential separations but, given what happened the last time they spent more than a few brief moments in each other’s company, that could cause more problems than it solves…

Chris Evans x OFC

Sequel to: Once Bitten - Twice Shy

Note: Again, just a reminder that all the information I have about covid restrictions in Massachusetts is from google, not first hand experience, so if something seems wrong please just go with it.

Part Three

______

Part Four

If avoiding difficult conversations was an Olympic sport then it's pretty safe to say that I would have earned myself a gold medal by the end of the following week. It wasn't all that hard to do though as the exhaustion from parenting during a pandemic was hitting us both. Especially because the weather for the first couple of weeks of April was abysmal. It was cold, stormy and raining almost every day and we were all getting quite stir crazy from being inside constantly - especially our lively and spirited child.

So, it was a massive relief when the sun finally came out.

It was also a relief that it lined up with Grayson's third birthday.

He was going to have a very different birthday than previous years - as most people would over the next few months - but we wanted him to have fun and he was quickly tiring of all the indoor activities that we could come up with.

We set the living room up the night before after he'd gone to bed, putting up a birthday banner with several clusters of balloons, and there was quite the mountain of presents in the corner as most of our family members had sent their gifts in advance. I had hoped to wake up before him, but when I woke up to excited cheers and Dodger barking from downstairs, I knew I was too late. A quick glance at my phone told me that it was only six thirty, but clearly the excitement had gotten him up earlier than normal.

"Whoa, Dodger, Grayson, shhhh," I heard Chris warn the pair of them, his voice still raspy from sleep. "You'll wake up the whole neighbourhood."

I smiled and quickly climbed out of bed. Chris wouldn't let him open any presents without me, I knew that, but I didn't want to keep him waiting for too long.

When I got downstairs, a very excited Grayson was bouncing on the couch as Chris sat next to him, watching him closely with a smile on his face.

"Happy birthday!" I cheered, catching his attention.

He sprang off the couch and bolted towards me.

"Thanks, Mama," He shouted, throwing his arms around my legs and looking up at me. "I'm three!"

"You are!" I smiled as I knelt down in front of him and pulled him into a hug. "You're such a big boy now."

He let me squeeze him for another moment or two before wiggling free.

"Can I open presents?"

Chris laughed at his clear priorities, shaking his head as I stood up.

"Let's just wait for Uncle Scott," he suggested before glancing up at me. "He's putting the coffee on."

"Very smart," I nodded. "I think we're all going to need plenty of that today."

Grayson proved my point by grabbing at his balloons and waving them frantically, setting Dodger off barking again.

"Dodge!" Chris scolded. "It's just a balloon, buddy. Chill."

The poor overwhelmed dog hung his head and came over to me for some sympathy. I happily obliged, cooing some comforting words and rubbing his back.

"Gray, leave the balloons, okay?" I requested. "I don't think Dodger likes them."

Grayson frowned, but instantly let go of the balloon in his hand.

"Sorry, Dodger."

"It sounds like we have quite the party in here already," Scott commented as he sauntered into the room. "Shall we see what's in some of these boxes?"

"Yes! Yes!" Grayson cheered, running over to the presents. "What first?"

"Whatever you want," I told him, smiling as I went to sit on the couch next to Chris. "Do you need some help?"

"No, I can do it!" He insisted, making a bee line for the biggest box and quickly ripping the paper off.

We watched as he opened gift after gift, an ear to ear grin on his face the whole time. Just as he was at Christmas, he was incredibly grateful for every present from the Paw Patrol Lookout Tower that was almost as tall as he was to the dinosaur books that were more educational than flashy and fun.

But there was one gift at the bottom of the pile that Chris wasn't particularly impressed by. The one that my brother had sent.

Grayson opened it, pulling out a t-shirt first.

"What does it say?" He asked, holding up the shirt towards us.

Chris' jaw dropped as I stifled my giggles and Scott burst out laughing.

"It says 'Team Iron Man'," I read. "Remember how Uncle Rob was in a movie with Daddy where they had a big fight? Iron Man was Uncle Rob's character and I think Uncle Jack wants you to be on that team."

"Oh," Grayson smiled. "Okay!"

"Okay?!" Chris protested. "You don't want to be on my team?"

Grayson shrugged as he pulled something else out of the box from my brother.

"Look!" He shouted, his excitement clear as he held up a very fancy electronic Iron Man helmet. "I love it!"

I wasn't even sure that he knew what it was as he hadn't seen any of the movies yet, but his enthusiasm compared to Chris' displeasure was killing Scott and I.

"Oh, it's such a shame that your brother wasted his money," Chris said, his words dripping with sarcasm as he had a forced look of pity on his face. "Those things are expensive and Grayson is never going to wear it."

"I'll wear it!"

Grayson's insistence was followed by him putting the helmet on his head and another howl of laughter came from Scott as a look of betrayal crossed Chris' face.

"Your brother is a jerk."

His words were quiet so Grayson wouldn't hear and I smiled.

"What can I say?" I shrugged. "We're an Iron Man family..."

Chris shot me a glare, but turned his attention back to Gray.

"Well, if you don't want to be on my team then I guess I'll just have to find someone else to have the last present that I got for you..."

Chris was teasing, but Grayson whipped off the helmet faster than we could blink. He looked around, a puzzled expression on his face when he couldn't see anymore boxes on the floor and I shared his confusion as I wasn't aware of anymore gifts either. But the Evans brothers exchanged a knowing glance and I knew they were up to something.

"Maybe Miles would like it," Scott suggested. "He loves Captain America."

"Me too!" Grayson insisted, tossing the helmet aside as if it hadn't been his new prized possession moments ago. "He's my favourite!"

"Oh, is he now?" Chris laughed. "Doesn't take much to make you change your mind, does it?"

Grayson shook his head, oblivious to the fact that he was being teased, but Chris didn't torture him for too long.

"Alright, do you want to see what it is?"

"Yes, I do!"

Grayson leapt up, bouncing up and down with excitement, making Chris laugh as he stood up from the couch.

"C'mon then," he told Grayson, nodding his head towards the door. "It's this way."

Grayson scurried after his dad and I followed, my own curiosity piqued as well.

"What is it?" I asked Scott, but he just shot me a smirk.

"You'll see in a second."

I narrowed my eyes at his secrets and paused at the front door where Chris was waiting for us, his hand on the door knob as Grayson practically vibrated with excitement.

"Okay, close your eyes," Chris instructed. "No peeking!"

"I won't, I won't!"

Grayson covered his eyes as an extra assurance and Chris' grin widened even more as he swung open the door. I put my hands on Grayson's shoulders and guided him through it, seeing a shiny blue bike with a big bow on the handlebars. I felt a flash of worry at all the potential ways for Grayson to get hurt riding it, but there was no time to dwell on that as Chris told him to open his eyes and he gasped with excitement.

"A bike!" He squealed with joy, leaping off the doorstep and running towards it.

He circled it for a moment as if he was really trying to take it all in while I looked up at Chris.

"There better be a helmet with this present," I warned him. "I'm already imagining broken bones and missing teeth."

"He'll be fine," Chris assured me with a chuckle. "It has training wheels, but of course I got him a helmet."

I opened my mouth, ready to share some more potential disasters that could come from this - because even with training wheels he could still fall off or lose control and crash into a tree - but Grayson cut me off.

"Help me, Daddy! Help me!"

He was trying to climb onto the seat, but as I took in the sight of him barefoot in his pyjamas standing in the driveway, I stopped Chris as he moved towards him.

"Wait, why don't we have breakfast first?" I suggested. "We have all day to play on your bike, but you're not dressed or even wearing shoes..."

Grayson's face fell and I felt bad being the mean parent, but Chris nodded in agreement.

"Your Ma's right, Gray," he told him. "Let's go get ready and then we can come right back outside, okay?"

Grayson looked sulky, but reluctantly agreed as he walked back over to us.

"Hey now," Scott said, catching his attention. "No pouting on your birthday! We've got some chocolate chip pancakes to make! Unless that sad face means you don't want them anymore?"

His previous smile slid instantly back onto his face at the promise of such a sugary breakfast and the pep returned to his step as he grabbed Scott's hand before dragging him into the house.

I had no evidence to prove my theory, but by the time breakfast was over, I was almost certain that it would have been more relaxing to be in the middle of a hurricane. There was pancake batter all over the room and we practically had to pin Grayson to his chair to stop him from sprinting around the room with food in his mouth. It was a miracle that he got through the meal without choking.

It was impossible to be mad though when he was having such a good time. He'd had so much to adjust to lately, seeing him happy on his birthday was all that I wanted and I was willing to put up with a little more chaos than normal if it made that happen. Within reason, of course. I did stop him when he suggested that we put the entire bag of chocolate chips in the pancake batter and I did make him help me clean them up when he dumped them on the floor in protest of my ridiculous restrictions.

Once the breakfast circus was over, Chris whisked him off to get him ready to play outside while I helped Scott clean up the kitchen before going upstairs to shower and get ready myself.

When I came back down almost an hour later, I felt considerably less frazzled, but the sound of excited squeals and giggles echoing from outside told me the energy levels hadn't died down much. It really was a relief that he was having such a nice day though so I braced myself for more chaos and headed out to find them.

The sight that greeted me melted my heart completely.

Chris was running backwards across the driveway as Grayson rode towards him. He shouted encouragement the entire time, reminding him to keep pedaling and to look where he was going and cheering as Grayson rode past him before turning around and circling back.

"Look, Mama!" He shouted to me as he spotted me by the door. "I'm doing it!"

"You are, baby!" I smiled. "Good job!"

I sat on the doorstep and watched him ride in circles, proud of how fast he'd figured it out, but after a few moments, my attention turned to Chris.

There were few times since I'd known him when I'd seen him look as happy as he did in that moment. When Grayson was born, when he took his first steps and when he first said 'Dada' were probably the only comparable moments I could think of. He looked absolutely gleeful as he chased after Grayson, laughing as he passed him before dodging a different way and waiting for Gray to catch up before bolting off again. The sound of their giggles and shouts filled my heart so much that it genuinely felt like it was about to burst out of my chest and a feeling of contentedness hit me so hard that it almost knocked over.

It was a feeling that told me that they were all I ever needed. Those two boys, making each other dizzy as they ran in circles. Their happiness and love was all I could ever hope to have and moments like these were all I ever wanted to see. I wanted us to spend every weekend soaking in this kind of joy. I didn't want to fight and argue and transport Grayson back and forth every other week. I wanted to give Grayson what he deserved, I wanted us to be a family.

But as fast as that clarity hit me, the knots in my stomach were there to remind me that it wasn't just about what I wanted. It wasn't about what would bring us the most moments of delight, it was about what would provide Grayson with the most stability and being a family might do more harm to that goal than good.

It was a constant battle between my heart and my head, but I was starting to realize that my head was losing. I was clinging to my resistance with all I had, but it was slipping away. I knew I needed to talk to Chris, to sort out the fog in my brain, but for the time being, I pushed it out of my mind. This was Grayson's day and we didn't have time for anymore heart-wrenching conversations.

I was snapped out of my thoughts as Scott appeared from the side of the house on roller blades and the unexpected sight pulled a laugh from my lips as he sailed past Chris and Grayson and headed down the driveway.

"Gray, follow me!"

Gray nodded, frantically pedaling to catch up with his uncle as they sped off down the long drive. Chris watched them for a minute before jogging over to me.

"He got it so fast," he puffed as he fought to catch his breath. "He's a natural."

"The training wheels help," I pointed out, shielding my eyes from the sun as I looked up at him. "But it's fine because he'll be keeping those on until he's at least eighteen."

Chris barked out a laugh, shaking his head.

"No way," he smirked. "We'll have them off by next week."

"Not a chance. I need at least six months to get used to that idea."

"How about we meet in the middle and aim for three?"

"Hmm, maybe," I bit back a smile. "We'll have to see how many injuries he gets with the training wheels on first."

"He'll be fine. He's a champ," Chris grinned proudly. "We've got a pretty great kid."

"We do," I patted the step next to me as I made room for Chris to sit down. "I can't believe he's already three."

Chris accepted my silent invitation and sat down next to me.

"I know," he sighed. "It feels like just yesterday that he was born..."

"He was so tiny," I reminisced. "And you had those huge Captain America muscles."

Chris laughed as he nodded at the memory.

"I was so scared to hold him in case I accidentally crushed him."

"I was so scared of everything," I admitted. "It wasn't until he was actually born that it really hit me that we were completely responsible for his well-being and keeping him alive."

"We've done well with that though!"

"We have," I agreed with a smile. "He's alive and thriving."

"We make a good team."

He flashed me a warm smile that made my heart beat stutter and it almost stopped completely when he stretched out a hand and placed it on mine. His touch was gentle and the warmth of his skin flooded through me even more than the sun streaming down on us. It was a simple gesture, but it eased the heaviness that had been hovering between us lately and I was grateful. I carefully flipped my hand over so our palms pressed together and let our fingers interlace. His smile widened as he looked back out at the driveway, his eyes settling on Grayson in the distance who was laughing at something Scott said.

"Thank you," Chris sighed, his voice quiet and filled with genuine appreciation. "I don't think I've ever said it, but thank you for making me a dad."

His words almost brought tears to my eyes, but I shook my head.

"Chris, you don't need to than-"

"I do," he insisted, cutting me off. "He's the best thing that ever happened to me and he wouldn't be here without you."

"I could say the same," I pointed out, trying to ignore the way his thumb was stroking the back of my hand. "He gets most of his good traits from you too. His kind heart, his sensitive little soul, his loyalty."

"His infuriating stubbornness."

"He gets that from both of us," I smiled. "He didn't stand a chance with that one."

"Well, I hope he gets some of your selflessness," Chris informed me, glancing over and looking a tad sheepish. "Because, as much as I disagree with it and I wish you'd be a little selfish, I get that you're trying to look out for him."

I felt my palms start to sweat and I wondered if he could feel it. I resisted the urge to snatch my hand away from his, trying to play it cooler than I felt. He was watching me closely as I mulled over his words until I found the strength to speak.

"I'm not so sure that it's just him that I'm trying to look out for," I admitted, exhaling a breath that I didn't realize I was holding. "I do think we have more to talk about, Chris, but I don't think this is the right time."

"You're right," he nodded. "I just felt like I owed you an apology after the other night. I let my feelings get the best of me and I came across a little harsh."

I was about to reassure him that he hadn't when the sound of honking interrupted our conversation. Our attention was pulled to the end of the driveway where two cars - belonging to Chris' mom and his sister - were pulling in as Scott moved Grayson and Dodger off to the side to let them past.

"Did you know they were coming?" I asked, surprised by the little motorcade.

"Nah, I had no idea," Chris shrugged. "We'll stay outside though, keep our distance."

I wasn't worried about that really, I knew all of Chris' family were staying very isolated and being smart about staying safe and we were technically allowed to have outdoor gatherings of up to ten people anyway with the current rules in place. I was surprised to see them though as we'd warned Grayson that he would only get to see most of his family over FaceTime. His excitement at that being untrue was clear as he frantically pedaled back up the driveway to greet his guests.

"Mama! Daddy! Look!"

I let Chris' hand fall away from mine as we stood, smiling at Grayson's excitement as everyone started getting out of their cars. They burst into a rousing chorus of 'Happy Birthday' making Gray's grin grow even more.

"Happy birthday, Grayson!" Lisa beamed as Grayson ran towards her full speed. He threw his arms around her legs before we could even remind him to keep his distance, but Lisa seemed unbothered by it. "Have you had a good day so far?"

"Yes!" Gray smiled up at her. "I got a bike!"

"I saw that!" Lisa matched his enthusiasm. "You're a lucky boy!"

Grayson shot her another smile before turning his attention to his cousins.

"Wanna try?"

His older cousins were probably too big, but Stella's hand shot up first and beat them to it anyway.

"That's really nice of you to share," I called over to Grayson. "But share your helmet too, okay?"

He nodded and struggled with the clip for a few minutes before Lisa helped him take it off and placed it on her granddaughter's head.

Once they were all happy, chasing Stella and Dodger around the drive way, the adults moved over towards us. Lisa was the first to speak, a guilty look on her face.

"I hope you don't mind us just showing up like this, but we couldn't stay away on his birthday..."

"It's great!" Chris assured her. "Don't worry about it."

"And Grayson seems thrilled," I added. "It's nice for him to have other kids to run around with for a bit."

We all turned to watch them as they played until Carly let out a laugh.

"Are Grayson's shoes on the wrong feet?"

I hadn't even noticed, but I laughed as well when I realized that she was right.

"Some days just getting him in shoes at all is a victory," Chris defended himself. "And today was one of those days."

"He's like the energizer bunny this morning," Scott joked. "I can't imagine what he'll be like after we get some cake into him."

"Just think how well he'll sleep tonight," Carly pointed out. "He has to crash eventually."

"I hope so," Chris smiled. "He had me up at six o'clock this morning, I need an early night."

That earned a laugh from the group as his siblings teased him about being such an old man, but I felt a pang of sympathy for him, knowing that he'd been up early with Grayson a lot lately. Maybe it was because we were at his house so it was what Gray was used to, but Chris was definitely the favourite for the early morning wake up call.

We stood in our little circle for a while, just catching up as we watched the kids, all of us enjoying conversation with someone other than the people we were locked up with twenty-four hours a day. It was nice for me to have some female company as well even though Lisa was very pleased to hear that her boys were pulling their weight around the house and not just treating me like some kind of live-in maid.

It didn't take long for the kids to get tired of sharing the bike, especially the older boys who were too big for it anyway, and soon they were swarming around us demanding that we all play a game. After being cooped up for so long, it didn't seem like a bad idea to get us all moving around a little so we agreed and set about the daunting task of finding something everyone was willing to play.

Eventually, we settled on capture the flag - girls against boys. Lisa decided she'd make a better referee than a player so the boys team had one extra member, but they had three children to our one so it hardly seemed like the extra person would cause any unbalance.

The rules of the game were simple: each team had three flags in our 'end zone' at opposite ends of the large grassy part of Chris' yard and the other team had to try to steal those flags. We had to grab it and run it all the way back to our own end zone to score a point, but once it was safely 'captured' it couldn't be stolen back. If someone managed to snatch a flag, but was tagged on their way back to their end zone then they had to give the flag back.

Lisa was very firm in reminding her children that tackling was not allowed as the Evans siblings were fiercely competitive and it had apparently led to trouble over the years. Once the rules were all set, we took our places and started the game.

The teams were fairly evenly matched. The boys had more strength, but we had more agility and were much better at communicating and working together which led to us easily scoring the first point. While Stella distracted Scott, Carly snuck past him to snatch the flag and she tossed it to Shanna who faked a pass to Stella before throwing it to me to get it to the safe zone. It was a beautifully executed play that showed the boys we weren't messing around.

"Oh, it's on now," Chris called out as he sprinted past me.

Shanna bolted after him, but he managed to grab the flag and throw it to Ethan before she caught up. With all the other boys guarding him, he made it all the way back to their end zone without getting tagged.

"I think having a super soldier on your team is an unfair advantage ," Carly huffed, but Chris shook his head with a smirk.

"Nah, because we have Scott too so it balances out."

"Hey!" Scott protested. "I'll switch teams if you're going to be rude!"

Stella jumped for joy at that idea, pleading with him to come onto our side, but the rest of the boys voiced their protests and he decided that, as long as there was no more hurtful comments, he would stick to his team for now. I used their bickering as a distraction though as I snuck closer towards their unguarded flags. I managed to grab one before Scott noticed and called out a warning to the rest of his team, but when I took off running and Grayson charged towards me, I didn't have the heart to out run him on his special day. I slowed down enough that he wouldn't realize I was letting him win and groaned dramatically as he tagged me, making me give up the flag.

"I did it!" He cheered. "Daddy! Did you see? I did it!"

Stella had a disappointed scowl on her face, but everyone else was understanding as they watched Chris scoop him up onto his shoulders, chanting his name as if he'd just won the World Cup while he carried him back to replace the flag.

Their celebration was short-lived though as we managed to steal the flag again almost as soon as Chris and Grayson were far enough away from it. After another perfectly executed play, the score was sitting at 2-1 for us. The pressure was on after that as we only needed one more point to win, it ramped up the competitive spirit.

We were off to a great start in the next round. Shanna got the flag quickly, but Scott had her cornered almost immediately so she tossed it to me. I got about ten steps before Chris was on my heels and I was forced to throw it over to Carly. Chris turned and went to chase after her instead and without even thinking, I leapt on his back to stop him.

"Hey!" He protested, slowing to a stop despite how he was clearly unaffected by my weight. "Is anyone seeing this? This has got to be a foul! She tackled me!"

"I did not tackle you!" I insisted, clinging to his shoulders with my legs wrapped around his waist. "If it was a tackle, you'd be on the ground."

Chris wiggled around, trying to throw me off his back as Carly sauntered into our end zone with the flag.

"The only reason I'm not on the ground is because you're too weak," Chris argued before shouting to his mom. "That doesn't count!

"No, Mama," Grayson joined in, running over to us looking very disapproving. "No cheating!"

I laughed, but slid down from Chris' back.

"Sorry, I'm sorry!" I held my hands up as I apologized. "I can't outrun Captain America, I had no choice!"

"Well, now you lost the point," Chris teased me, shoving me playfully and making me stumble a step away from him. "So, lets keep it fair and stop trying to cheat."

I swatted back at him as I stuck out my tongue while Lisa made the official call that the point didn't count and Scott took the recently captured flag back to the boy's end zone.

Chris had a new twinkle in his eye as the next round started. He hadn't let me get very far away from him and I quickly realized that I'd made a mistake by antagonizing him. I would be useless to my team if he was on my tail the whole time, but he was a tank and incredibly fast so getting away from him was next to impossible. I watched helplessly as Scott and Miles easily took our flag and dashed it back to their end zone to tie the score.

"Chris!" I whined as I tried to get around him like I was a cornered puppy, trying not to get caught. "Get away from me, you big oaf!"

"Oh, wow," Chris chuckled. "Let's not start calling names and being mean."

I tried to dart past him again, but groaned as he blocked my path.

"You're infuriating!"

"It's all part of the game."

The smirk on Chris' face had my competitive side firing up as I could see behind him that Miles had snatched our last flag. Stella was hot on his heels though, so he had no choice, but to pass to Grayson who was coming our way. Was I going to stop my three year old son from scoring the game winning point on his birthday? Probably not. But I had to at least make my attempt genuine so I came up with a plan.

"Is that..." I squinted off into the distance on the other side of the yard. "Is that Dodger chasing a cat?"

My Oscar worthy performance had Chris spinning around to check out what I saw and it gave me enough time to bolt away towards Grayson who wasn't far away from winning the game for his team. I made it an impressive five steps before Chris figured out what I'd done and came after me. Grayson saw what was happening and dodged to the left so I followed, but my change of direction gave Chris an opportunity. The next thing I knew, I felt a crash against my hips before I was lifted from the ground and found myself dangling over Chris' shoulder.

I let out a squeal of surprise as I kicked my legs, trying to get down, but Chris had a tight grip on me and there was no getting away. The ease with which he threw me around wasn't at all distracting and there wasn't a single part of me that was revelling in his strength. Not at all.

"This is absolutely a tackle!" I protested, focusing my mind back onto my predicament. "Put me down!"

"If this was a tackle, you'd be on the ground," he mocked me. "This is payback."

I had a nice view, my head only inches above 'America's ass' so, swept up in the moment of playfulness between us, I reached down and gave it a smack. He yelped and jumped, shaking me as he did.

"Chris! Put me down!"

My demands were weakened by the giggles that I couldn't hold back, but thankfully Scott stepped in to help me regain some dignity.

"Alright, you two," he called over. "Can we get back to the game now or would you like us all to give you some time alone?"

A blush covered my cheeks as I remembered that his entire family was around us and was relieved when he lowered me to the ground.

"Games over," Chris called back. "Grayson scored!"

Grayson jumped up and down happily, but Stella had a scowl on her face.

"Nuh uh! When Whitney tackled you, it didn't count!" She pointed out. "Grayson's point doesn't count too!"

The joy on Grayson's face fell into a look of anger as he stomped his foot at his cousin’s claim.

"It does!" He insisted. "I did it!"

"Now look what you've done," I playfully scolded Chris quietly before shouting to the rest of the group. "I think we're going to have to let them have the point, ladies. I wouldn't have been able to catch up to Grayson even if Chris didn't cheat..."

Stella's jaw dropped in clear shock that I hadn't supported her protests, but to stop the war before it could start, Chris chimed in.

"Grayson didn't need my help to score that point, I shouldn't have interfered," he started. "But why don't we call it a game and go have some cake?!"

The promise of sugar seemed to quash any animosity between the teams as all the kids let out a shriek of approval at that suggestion and took off running back to the house.

"Oh, yes," Carly sighed. "Because what my children clearly need right now is more energy..."

"It's Gray's birthday," Chris shrugged with a smile as we all followed the children at a much more reasonable pace. "We have to have cake!"

"And if it wasn't his birthday then I wouldn't have let you win."

My taunting earned a bark of laughter from Chris.

"Let us win? Yeah, sure, okay. You just keep telling yourself that you're faster and stronger than me," he teased. "Whatever makes you feel better."

I shoved him, but he was braced for it and I ended up more affected by the impact than him which proved his point, putting a smirk on his face.

"Asshole," I muttered as I shook my head, but I couldn't hold back a smile at how nice our affectionate teasing felt.

By the end of the day, we were all exhausted. It had been a fun and very special day for Grayson so we were thrilled for him, but exhausted nonetheless. Gray fought his bedtime with all the will power he had, eager for the day to go on just a little bit longer, but we won out in the end and he made it to bed on time. Scott had gone to his own room while we were fighting with him and Chris and I parted ways shortly after to get some much needed quiet time of our own.

I found myself distracted though, when I was finally alone, as the importance of the day had me feeling sentimental. Watching Grayson grow up and hit these milestones was a joy, but it left me feeling a bit reminiscent of the years gone by. Years when he was even smaller than he was now, just starting to figure out the world and how to speak, walk and be a part of it. The time was really flying by and as I began to scroll through old videos of his first year of life, the nostalgia was almost too much to bear.

Eventually, I stumbled on a video that had distinct parallels of today.

It was a video of Grayson's first birthday when we'd given him his own little cake and let him go to town on it. Of course, as many babies do, he'd stared at it for a moment before smashing his face directly into it. It was adorable and tugged on my heart strings considering how comparatively neat his cake consumption was earlier that day. He'd grown so much in such a short time and I felt compelled to share my discovery with Chris so I dragged myself out of bed and crept down to his room.

There was a fluttering of nerves in my stomach as I knocked on his bedroom door, the feeling only growing as he called out an invitation to come inside. I did as he'd asked and let myself in, finding him leaning back against the headboard of his bed - wearing nothing but his pajama pants - with his own phone in his hand.

"Hey," he smiled. "What's up?"

"I found a video," I told him, standing awkwardly near the foot of his bed. "I was feeling a little sad about how fast Gray is growing up so I was looking back, watching old videos and I found one that I thought you might like to see."

Chris’ smile widened and he eagerly patted the bed next to him, encouraging me to sit. I took him up on his offer and settled in as I unlocked my phone and started the video.

"He was so little..."

Chris' observation came as the camera settled on Gray where he sat in his high chair. Chris was right next to him, a grin on his face as he chatted happily to our son despite the nonsense babble that he got in response. I appeared on the screen after a few moments, carrying a tiny cake as everyone started to sing Happy Birthday. Grayson had a look of confusion on his face as he looked around at the crowd, but his eyes widened when the cake was placed in front of him.

"Go on, Gray," I prompted once the singing had stopped. "You can taste it."

He needed no more encouragement and simply face planted right into it, popping up a moment later with blue icing from the tops of his eyebrows to the bottom of his chin. He had a huge, cheeky grin on his face as he looked at us and, just as he did in the video, Chris laughed next to me.

"Oh, man, it kills you, doesn't it?" He questioned before clarifying. "How cute he is."

I hadn't realized that Chris' arm had found its way behind me when he leaned in to watch until I felt his breath on my hair as he spoke and I couldn't resist leaning back, tucking myself under his shoulder. The whole day, the knowledge that my baby was growing up, had me needing some comfort. It was exciting, to see him learn and shift from a baby to a little person, but at the same time, I felt the overwhelming urge for time to stop.

"It does," I agreed, letting my phone fall to the bed beside me. "I can't believe how much he's changed since then."

"In some ways," Chris agreed, looking down at me with a smirk. "In others, he's still that goofy, reckless baby."

"If he's anything like you, he'll probably never grow out of being goofy and reckless."

I felt Chris' shoulders shake as he chuckled at my teasing and I was reminded of the last time we'd been cuddled up, in a similar position to this, in his bed. I felt a flood of warmth run through my body at the memory as I was suddenly aware of how close we were, aware of how good he smelt and how strong his hard muscled arm felt as I leaned against it.

"I'll take that as a compliment."

"I meant it as one," I assured him. "I like that you're goofy. Your recklessness used to give me anxiety sometimes, when you'd always insist that you just had to do your own stunts on Captain America as if you really thought you were a super soldier, but I like that you're willing to take risks."

"Awe, gee, Whitney," he teased, squeezing me closer against him. "It was nice of you to worry about me."

"Of course I worried," I rolled my eyes. "Your muscles are bigger than your brain sometimes."

"Not anymore..." Chris held up the arm that wasn't currently around me and flexed his muscles, showing off a bicep that was still much larger than most even if it wasn't quite up to the Avengers standard. "I'm out of shape."

Against my own best interest, I turned slightly, letting my hand drift up towards his arm as my head fell against his chest. I traced over the bulging muscle and watched as tiny goosebumps rose up on his skin at the sensation. Skin that felt so soft under my touch and I felt his breath shift as he clearly felt the mood between us change the same way that I did. I felt emboldened by how amorous our emotional day had left me as I let my head tip back to find him looking down at me with the same intensity he had a few months ago.

My breath caught in my throat and I couldn't help myself. Despite every alarm bell going off inside my brain, I stretched up just enough to press my lips against his. For a moment, he relaxed. His shoulders dropped as my fingers curled around the arm they were just stroking, but then suddenly his entire body tensed as if he'd been shocked by a bolt of electricity. He jerked away, sliding out from under me and off the bed before I could even realize what was happening.

"No," he said firmly, pointing his finger at me the same way he did to Dodger when he was being naughty. "No, no, we're not doing this again. Not until we talk about it what's going on here."

I felt the sting of rejection so harshly that it almost brought tears to my eyes, but I knew he was right.

"I'm sorry," I squeaked out, my cheeks burning. "You're right. I shouldn't have done that."

My voice was shaking as I scrambled to stand up, the stunned look on Chris' face only adding to my embarrassment. We stood there, staring at each other with the bed between us, but he didn't speak and after a few moments of silence, my shame was overwhelming, kicking my flight instincts into gear.

"I'll go," I mumbled. "Sorry again."

I didn't wait for a response before darting towards the door, but Chris' voice stopped me before I could make my escape.

"Whitney, stop." He didn't shout, but his tone was firm and demanding enough that I froze on the spot. "We need to talk about this. We can't keep going on with it hanging above our heads."

I turned to face him, discovering that he'd moved closer and was standing by the foot of the bed. He was still a few feet away from me, but close enough that it felt almost suffocating and I bit my lip as I stared at his feet, unable to look him in the eye.

"I don't know what to say..."

"I can take it," he insisted, a hint of resignation in voice as he continued. "You've had plenty of time to think it over since our last conversation and you said earlier today that we needed to talk. If you're gonna turn me down, put whatever this is to bed, just do it now and get it over with."

I furrowed my brow in confusion at his words, my heart beating in my chest so fast that I could hear the blood pumping through my ears.

"Turn you down?" I questioned. "Why do you think I'm going to turn you down? I just kissed you."

"That didn't mean much at Christmas."

He had a very valid point and I felt another pang of guilt at how badly I was treating him. I was hot and cold, affectionate and withdrawn, unwavering in my decision one minute and unsteady the next. I hadn't spared much thought to how cruel that was and now that I'd realized, I couldn't hold back the frustrated groan that fell from my lips.

"I don't know what to do, Chris! I think I know what the right decision is. It's what always felt like the safer choice, but then there are times when that's just..." I paused, taking in a deep breath to work up a dash of courage. "It's not what I want."

Chris watched me closely as if choosing his next words very carefully.

"If the safer choice isn't what you want then it sounds like maybe you need to take a risk. You can't live your life making decisions out of fear."

My eyes narrowed. He was over simplifying the situation. That way of thinking might work if it was just the two of us, but with Gray in the middle, things were more complicated.

"It's not that straight forward."

I shook my head as I spoke, but Chris countered with a nod.

"Sure, it is," he shrugged before asking a question that almost stopped my heart. "Do you love me?"

I stared at him, opening my mouth to speak and then closing it again when the words didn't come. I stood there, gaping at him like some kind of ridiculous puffer fish, until I finally got a word out.

"What?"

A smirk slid onto Chris' face at my floundering as he repeated the question.

"Do you love me?" He asked. "And don't say it doesn't matter or it's not important. Just yes or no."

I stared at him for a moment longer as a war between my head and heart raged inside me. Deny, deny, deny was what my head was screaming, but in the end the quiet reminder of now or never from my heart was what won out.

"Yes, I do," I admitted, proud of my voice for not breaking. "I always have."

There was a grin on Chris' face now, but my stomach churned because it didn't mean anything. As I said, I'd loved him all along and yet here we were, no better off.

"That's all that matters then," he insisted. "We can figure out the rest."

"But what if we can't figure it out?" I protested, crossing my arms as if I could somehow fold into myself and disappear completely. "What if it's nice for a while and then it all comes crashing down around us? What about Gray?"

He shrugged again. His whole demeanour miles away from my own. He seemed confident, hopeful, almost excited while I felt nauseous, terrified and paralyzed by fear.

"But what if it doesn't? What if it all works out nicely? Why are you so convinced that we wouldn't last?"

"Because you're you," I reminded him, my tone flat as I stated the obvious. "Hollywood super star, Chris Evans. And I'm me, a boring nobody. You could have pretty much any famous actress you want, the only person who wants to be with me is the creepy maintenance worker in our apartment building."

Chris looked taken aback as his eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

"What? I've never heard about this guy."

"He's just some weird guy who does the repairs," I shrugged. "He comments on my outfits and looks at me in this way that makes my skin crawl, but he's harmless."

"Doesn't sound harmless to me," Chris argued, crossing his arms as a thunderous look settled on his face. "Does he have access to your place?"

"No!" I assured him, but after my quick answer I realized that I wasn't so sure. "Well, I don't know. He might have a spare key, I guess. If most maintenance people do? They have to give me notice before they enter the apartment anyway."

"Unless he's sneaking in to perv on you."

"Chris! That's gross!" I wrinkled my nose in disgust. "Why would you put that thought in my head?!"

"I told you that you should have let me buy you a house," Chris huffed. "You're moving when all this covid shit is over."

"Oh my god," I groaned having flashbacks to our conversation a few weeks ago about him buying me a car. "All of this is so beside the point! We're talking about how you'd get bored of me and leave me heartbroken for some flashy Hollywood babe, remember?"

"Right," Chris nodded, letting his arms fall to his side. "But that's such a ridiculous idea that I thought it was hardly worth acknowledging."

His dismissal of one of my biggest fears sent a flash of anger through me.

"How is it ridiculous?" I snapped. "It's true!"

"You know me, Whitney," Chris sighed. "You know that my team had to practically force me into doing Captain America because I had one foot out the door of the whole acting gig and I hated the way Hollywood made me feel. Do you really think that I would give up a chance at a having family with you, someone who I really care about, for some wild, short-lived fling?"

His tone conveyed his disbelief, but he hadn't quite accurately interpreted what I meant.

"I think you'd regret it," I clarified. "I think that once the initial excitement wore off, you'd see that I'm nothing special and that I don't fit in your world."

Chris was looking at me as if I'd grown an extra head and I crossed my arms a little tighter around myself.

"We were friends long before Grayson came around and I've always thought that you were something special. Where is all this insecurity coming from, Whitney? Because I just don't get it."

I swallowed hard as I bit my lip. I felt incredibly vulnerable and the urge to run away and continue ignoring all my feelings seemed much preferable to standing here and analyzing them all, but I stayed strong. We were both adults and this was the only way to move forward. Whether it ended how Chris wanted or not, he deserved to know how I felt.

"I spent a long time convincing myself that you didn't care about me as anything more than a friend. I told myself that it was an insane idea because we're in two very different leagues so there was no point getting my hopes up. Then that night happened and I thought that maybe I'd been wrong, that it could be the start of a really good thing, but then you were gone by the time I woke up and you never called."

I barely choked out the last few words as I fought back the tears that were swimming in my eyes. An unmistakable look of guilt flashed onto Chris' face and he opened his mouth to comment, perhaps to defend himself, but I held up a hand to stop him. I needed to get it out or I never would.

"Then three weeks later, I found out I was pregnant," I continued. "I assumed from your silence that you didn't want to be with me and I knew that we were good together as friends so I kept my feelings to myself and spent the last three and a half years beating myself up for thinking for even one second that you would want to be with me."

"I did want to be with you..."

Chris was looking at me with those puppy dog eyes that he'd mastered and I sniffled as a tear slipped down my cheek.

"I know that now, but I can't just turn those thoughts off."

Chris sighed and rubbed his hands over his face before holding out his arms.

"C'mere."

I shook my head, wiping my tears as I worried that I'd fall apart completely if I stepped into his arms, but when he persisted and gestured me over again, I couldn't resist. I took the few steps needed to close the space between us and let my arms slide around his waist. He hugged me close to his body, burying his face in my hair as pressed mine into his muscled chest. We stayed like that for a few moments until Chris broke the silence.

"I'm sorry. I was an idiot," he apologized, his words muffled by my hair. "I should have fought for you. At the very least, I should have stayed until you woke up and I should have called, but I was scared too."

I felt more tears fill my eyes as I choked out a soft "I know".

Another silence fell between us before Chris spoke again, his words making my heart almost stop completely.

"I was going to propose." I pulled back at that confession, my eyes wide as I looked up at him unable to process his words fast enough to speak before he continued. "I called my mom up as soon as you told me you were pregnant. I wanted her to help me pick out a ring, but she talked me out of it. Said you'd think I was doing it for all the wrong reasons."

My heart fluttered back to life at the sincerity in his admission, but I nodded my head.

"Your mom is a smart lady," I told him. "I absolutely would have thought you were only doing it because you felt you had to."

"It wasn't out of obligation though," he insisted. "Maybe I was getting a bit ahead of myself leaping straight to marriage, but I cared about you. It was an opportunity to make it official, make that commitment and be a family. That's what I wanted."

I stayed quiet, resting my head back against his chest as I tried to take in all this new information. It was a lot to process especially when it directly contradicted the belief I had clung to for so long - that Chris and I would never work and for Grayson's sake we were better off apart. That assumption was so deeply embedded in my brain that it was hard to find the courage to take such a risk.

As if Chris could sense my lingering indecision, he continued.

"It's still what I want," he said softly. "Being here these last few weeks with you and Grayson as a family has been a dream come true. I wouldn't give it up for anything or do anything to jeopardize it if you'd just give me a shot."

The word 'okay' was so close to the tip of my tongue that it shocked me.

That was all I had to do, just open my mouth and agree and he would be mine.

My heart was pleading with me to do it, to take that leap and ignore any of the arguments against it that were running through my mind - especially now that those arguments seemed much less sound than they had a few short weeks ago. I was so conflicted that it almost physically pained me to have to make a decision and I couldn't help, but wonder how he could be so certain.

So, I leaned back and tilted my head so my eyes could meet his.

"How can you be so sure?" I questioned. "After how things have been these last few years, how can you be so confident in your feelings?"

"Because I love you," he told me plainly and with unwavering surety. "If you tell me right now that it's not what you want, then I'll accept your decision. But if there's a hint of a chance, then I'll wait as long as I need to. I've been waiting for years, thinking that I didn't even have a shot, I think I can wait a little longer now that I know that I might."

It was another heart wrenchingly honest explanation, another vulnerable admission, and something in the openness with which he spoke made me realize that over the last three years he had done nothing to earn any distrust from me. Even after the fallout from Christmas, he'd put his hurt feelings and pride aside to make things easier for me. He'd been sincere during every discussion we'd had since then and hadn't been cruel or impatient about my indecision. I had no reason at all, other than my own fear and insecurities, to assume that he was going to break my heart and tear apart our family.

He deserved a little bit of trust from me as well and a clarity washed over me as I finally knew what I had to do.

There were words I could have said, probably should have said, but I didn't feel like there was anything that would accurately portray how I was feeling. I settled for a more direct approach as I pressed up onto my toes and let my lips fall against his.

He tensed at first and for a brief, heart stopping moment, I thought he might push me away again, but he didn't. He relaxed, pulling me closer as my hands slid to cup his neck.

It was a soft kiss. A gentle, loving kiss, that I hoped conveyed what I couldn't figure out how to say. But when our lips parted and he leaned down to rest his forehead on mine, there was a concern in his eyes that told me I wasn't going to get away with it that easily.

"What does that mean?"

I bit my lip, staring up past his long eyelashes into his eyes. There was still a tiny voice in my head telling me to run, to stop being so foolish and leave now before I made a mistake, but my heart had found its footing now and wasn't going to back down. Listening to my head all this time hadn't made things any easier, so it was time to try something else.

"It means," I started, taking in a shaky breath. "I don't want to keep you waiting anymore."

Chris let out a breath of relief as a tentative smile slid onto his face.

"Really? You're sure?"

I swallowed hard and nodded my head.

"Yes," I breathed out, my voice thick with all the emotions swirling through me.

He dipped his head a touch lower until our lips were reconnected. It was a deeper kiss, more desperate than the first as his tongue slid against mine and his grip tightened on my waist, my nails scraping against the fuzz of his recently cut hair. I caved into him, clinging to him like he was a lifeboat in a storm until he pulled back to take a breath.

My chest heaved against his, the adrenaline of his touch and what this finally meant, almost too much to handle. I settled back down, flat on my feet and nuzzled my face back into his chest as I fought to calm my racing mind and just enjoy the moment.

"You really mean it?" Chris asked again, the shakiness of his voice filling me with another pang of guilt. "You really want to give this a try?"

"I mean it," I nodded against him. "Doesn't mean my concerns have all vanished in the last five minutes, but I...I think I need to trust you."

"I won't let you down," he murmured into my hair as he pulled me even closer. Another silence fell between us until I broke it with an embarrassingly large yawn and Chris' chest shook as he chuckled. "Do you wanna sleep down here tonight?"

As soon as he'd asked the question, it suddenly hit me how exhausted I was. Even just the thought of walking upstairs seemed like an impossible task when there was such an inviting, comfortable bed only steps away from where I stood. But a thought popped into my head that I couldn't ignore and I turned my head slightly so I wasn't speaking directly into Chris' muscles.

"What about Gray?" I asked. "He always comes to you in the morning..."

"Would it matter?"

His tone wasn't accusing or annoyed, but genuinely curious as sharing a child did add a strange new element to all this. I didn't really know what the best way to handle it was since Grayson didn't really understand our relationship or know how a typical family was set up anyway, but it didn't seem like the best way to introduce him to the idea.

"I think we should talk to him about it instead of just letting him stumble on us in bed together," I suggested. "But I think maybe we should wait a while?"

Chris' face fell as the look of worry returned.

"You want to keep this a secret?"

"I didn't mean it like that," I shook my head. "You can tell whoever you want, but I think we should figure things out, make sure things are stable between us before we try to explain it to Gray."

"Alright, that's fair," Chris agreed before leaning down to place another soft kiss on my lips. "I'll wake you up before he comes down."

"Okay," I nodded as I let my thumb stroke his cheek.

We reluctantly slipped out of each other's arms, but it was a brief separation as we climbed into opposite sides of the bed. Once we'd turned the lights off, we met in the middle and he pulled me back against his chest, letting me hook my leg over his hip as we settled against each other.

Chris ran a hand up and down my spine as he nuzzled in my hair.

"This feels nice..."

"It does," I hummed. With the darkness around us, the quiet that had settled in, I felt encouraged to say something that I'd felt I should have said long ago. "I'm sorry, Chris."

I felt him tense.

"For what?"

"For messing you around so much," I admitted. "Especially at Christmas...that wasn't cool."

"If I had expectations, I should have laid them out before anything happened." His answer sounded rehearsed, as if he'd spent a long time convincing himself of that fact. I wasn't entirely sure it was a fair statement, but he continued before I could question it. "I can understand where you were coming from, but I promise I won't hurt you."

I felt a pang of uncertainty because that wasn't always a promise that could be kept, but the sincerity in his voice gave me hope. I placed a soft kiss against his chest as his hands slid up under the loose shorts I was wearing to cup my bum.

"I love you," I mumbled against his skin.

"I love you too," he replied, making a feeling of warmth flood through me. "Thank you for giving me a chance."

I sighed happily as my exhaustion had my eyes fluttering shut. I wanted to stay awake, to keep this moment before the brightness of the morning could bring any doubts or second guesses, but I was powerless to resist as sleep overtook me.

Part Five

Tags: @maggotzombie @moonlacebeam @mizzzpink @zaylaugh @flowery-mess @flowerjewels @njrronaldo7 @hockeychick10

#chris evans fanfiction #chris evans fanfic #chris evans fic #more hearts than mine

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sukirichi · 2 years

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Sukiiii here’s layk my part two-ish well something of the sort HAHAHAHA

How are yaaa?? Fine and well, I hope since people, family and friends are getting sick here—left and right, btw You play genshin? I PLAY GENSHIN TOO!! Yes Asia server, Imma send u my UID tmrw since Im alr lying down as I type this HAHAHAHA okay setting that aside

OKAY I’VE FINALLY CAUGHT UP and Read both chapter two and three and Prince Kiyoomi 🥰🥰🥰🥰 OKAY BUT I LOVE HOW each prince have their own secret/problem. Just waiting for Akaashi’s and Ushijima’s 🤭🤭🤭🤭 but alas to be Airi in your story rn ahahahaha—:”D screw being a lady of a high status lemme be a maid who falls for Prince Kita and have a forbidden love story 😍😍😍😍 HAHAHAHA

I mean Kiyoomi, I love you but Shinsuke, I love more HAHAHAHAHA okay but can we talk about why an arranged marriage usually happens and why a girl (yeah cursing her will take too much and the other readers are alr doing it HAHAHAHAHA) like Iris is married to Kiyoomi whom she doesn’t deserve btw—I smell a scandal that can disrupt the not so peaceful royal family even more. I alr have my theories and suspicions but Imma keep them at bay first and read a few more chapters or atleast before the reason is revealed.

OKEI THEN Do I see a sprout or a Seed Planted for YN’s Char. Development at Chapter 3? Like when she smiled and Suna couldn’t read it, is that a sign or like a foreshadowing of her slowly just slowly like superr slowly growing—It’s too early-ish for an actual growth but I smell a foreshadow or a little sprout but at this point I think Im just sprouting nonesense—haha—get it? Lame? Yeah ik but I still laugh HAHAHAHA

I have no words for suna—laykkkk—nada, it’s just too much rage and whatnot cuz laykk—Oh so you’re just gonna promise to care for YN in exchange for using her and breaking her heart??? Ano yon pang palubag-loob kay YN?.? (To Make her feel better in English to anyone else actually interested in reading this long ass ask)

I feel bad for Princess Maiko though—she reminds me of the main character of Empress Ki except she isn’t a maid nor does she lose her fam (Idk if she gonna grow but hey Im rooting for her just don’t do anything stupid to help and plot to hurt YN or else screw u HAHAHAHA) and as the saying goes (Honestly idk I prolly just made it up) “The Royal Harem/Family is not for weak-willed/hearted or for the innocent, else you suffer” and Princess Maiko is layk the living example of this

BUT I DO NOT feel anything LIKE NOTHING at all—not a single shred or an ounce of sympathy for Iris—no girl and when you said we’re gonna hate her more? Let me guess—she does one of these or all of these; annoy YN or embarrass YN or taunt or even take Suna away or well fk him during their honeymoon (wouldn’t be surprised—Im sure Suna will find some stupid excuse to disappear anyways)

OKAY THAT is all for this super duper long ask—Always stay safe and keep urself healthy, hydrated well fed and well rested!! amd ofc always Take Careee!!

With lots of love,

-🎧

HEADPHONES ANON AHSJKA I WAS GONNA ANSWER THIS A WHILE BACK BUT IM SORRY I REPLIED LATE :<< also, yes, I’m fine! lots of family friends here are also getting sick, but thankfully I’m safe from covid rn and I hope you are too! YES BESTIE I PLAY GENSHIN DROP YOUR UID LET’S GO PLAY! I’m excited to play with you omg (but heads up that I’m not great at it, I’m a newbie and I might be slower in keeping up. aka I get lost a lot and my game loves to glitch and freeze so it’s a fun experience to coop with me <33)

YES TO BE AIRI. IMAGINE BEING THE BEST PRINCE’S LOVE OF HIS LIFE. LIKE WOW. how to be airi rn. and hmm yes, there’s definitely…something behind Kiyoomi and Iris’ marriage that’ll be revealed soon. also theories? yes yes, I’m listening if you ever wanna share! HELP THE SPROUTING NONSENSE PUN AHSJAA but yeah, it’s foreshadowing! I agree it’s too early to make her grow that fast and at this rate, like I’m going to break her completely first, and we’re not at the stage yet where she totally breaks down. but yeah, the part about her smiling and rintaro not knowing what it means, it was foreshadowing that she’s getting better at hiding her feelings…and mayhaps even being manipulative towards rintaro… omg yeah, pampalubag loob for YN like no thank you, Rintaro. but at the same time, the truth hurts a lot, I kind of understand why we stick to the great fantasy even if it’s a lie. YN hurts less when she just lets herself be happy in his arms and decide to overlook the fact he has someone else in his heart sobs

oooh for Iris being more hateable in the future, you guys will definitely just what she does! or more like, what is rintaro gonna do that involves iris. HEHEHEH. omg take care too, have a nice day / night <33

#asks with naoya's trophy wife #series: dusk till dawn #anon:🎧#long ask #tw: infidelity #BESTIE DROP UID!!

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nashvilledreams · 4 years

Text

My Naya, my Snixxx, my Bee. I legitimately can not imagine this world without you.

7 years ago today, she and I were together in London when we found out about Cory. We were so far away, but I was so thankful that we had each other. A week ago today we were talking about running away to Hawaii. This doesn’t make sense. And I know it probably never will.

She was so independent and strong and the idea of her not being here is something I cannot comprehend. She was the single most quick-witted person I’ve ever met, with a steel-trap memory that could recall the most forgettable conversations from a decade ago verbatim. The amount of times she would memorize all of those crazy monologues on Glee the morning of and would never ever mess up during the scene… I mean, she was clearly more talented than the rest of us. She was the most talented person I’ve ever known. There is nothing she couldn’t do and I’m furious we won’t get to see more.

I’m thankful for all the ways in which she made me a better person. She taught me how to advocate for myself and to speak up for the things and people that were important to me, always. I’m thankful for the times I grew an ab muscle from laughing so hard at something she said. I’m thankful she became like family. I’m thankful that my dad happened to have met her weeks before I did and when I got Glee, he told me to “look out for a girl named Naya because she seemed nice.” Well dad, she was nice and she became one of my favorite people ever.

If you were fortunate enough to have known her, you’ll know that her most natural talent of all was being a mother. The way that she loved her boy, it was truly Naya at her most peaceful. I’m thankful that Naya got that beautiful little boy back on that boat. I’m thankful he will have a strong family around him to protect him and tell him about his incredible mom.

I just hope more than anything that her family is given the space and time to come to terms with this. For having such tiny body, Naya had such a gigantic presence, a void that will now be felt by all of us - those of us who knew her personally and the millions of you who loved her through your TVs. I love you, Bee.

My favorite duet partner. I love you. I miss you. I don’t have words right now, just lots of feelings. Rest In Peace Angel, and know that your family will never have to worry about anything.

We started out as the closest friends and then like all new things, we went through a bit of a rocky phase. However, we stuck by each other’s side and created the most beautiful friendship built out of love and understanding. The last I had the chance to see you in person, I had left oranges outside our home for you to take. I wanted to say hi through the window but my phone didn’t ring when you called (which it never does, f*cking T-Mobile), so instead you and Josey left two succulents on our doorstep as a thank you. I planted those succulents and I look at them everyday and think of you. I still listen to your EP on repeat because from the moment I heard it, it struck me and I always wished the world knew more of your voice. You sent me over 5 dozen SnapChat videos when you and Josey woke up in the morning and I kick myself that I didn’t save one of them. You always shared recipes and I admired your love for food. We vowed to spend every Easter together, even though Covid stole this last one from us. You are and always will be the strongest and most resilient human being I know, and I vowed to carry that with me as I continue to live my life.

You constantly taught me lessons about grief, about beauty and poise, about being strong, resilient and about not giving a fuck (but still somehow respectful). Yet, the utmost important lesson I learned most of all from you was being a consistent and loving friend. You were the first to check in, the first to ask questions, the first to listen..you cherished our friendship and I never took that for granted.

We never took photos together because we mutually hated taking pictures...our relationship meant more than proof. I have countless pictures of our babies playing, because we shared that kind of pride and joy. So I’m showing the world a photo of our little goof balls for you, because I know that meant more than anything and they remind me of you and I. I speak to you everyday because I know you’re still with me and even though I’m feeling greedy that we don’t get more time together, I cherish every moment we had and hold it close to my heart.

There are no words and yet so many things I want to say, I don't believe I'll ever be able to articulate exactly what I feel but... Naya, you were a ⚡️ force and everyone who got to be around you knew it and felt the light and joy you exuded when you walked into a room. You shined on stage and screen and radiated with love behind closed doors.

I was lucky enough to share so many laughs, martinis and secrets with you. I can not believe I took for granted that you'd always be here. Our friendship went in waves as life happens and we grow, so I will not look back and regret but know I love you and promise to help the legacy of your talent, humor, light and loyalty live on.

You are so loved. You deserved the world and we will make sure Josey and your family feel that everyday. I miss you already.

She was bold. She was outrageous. She was a LOT of fun.⁣

Naya made me laugh like no one else on that set. I always said it while we were working together and I’ve maintained it ever since. Her playful, wicked sense of humor never ceased to bring a smile to my face.⁣

She played by her own rules and was in a class of her own. She had a brashness about her that I couldn’t help but be enchanted by. I also always loved her voice, and savored every chance I got to hear her sing. I think she had more talent than we would have ever been able to see.⁣

I was constantly moved by the degree to which she took care of her family, and how she looked out for her friends. She showed up for me on numerous occasions where she didn’t have to, and I was always so grateful for her friendship then, as I certainly am now.⁣

And even as I sit here, struggling to comprehend, gutted beyond description- the very thought of her cracks me up and still brings a smile to my face. That was Naya’s gift. And it's a gift that will never go away. ⁣

Rest in peace you wild, hilarious, beautiful angel.

How can you convey all your love and respect for someone in one post? How can you summarize a decade of friendship and laughter with words alone? If you were friends with Naya Rivera, you simply can’t. Her brilliance and humor were unmatched. Her beauty and talent were otherworldly. She spoke truth to power with poise and fearlessness. She could turn a bad day into a great day with a single remark. She inspired and uplifted people without even trying. Being close to her was both a badge of honor and a suit of armor. Naya was truly one of a kind, and she always will be. 💔 Sending all my love to her wonderful family and her beautiful son.

Dear Naya,

I’m failing miserably to process this news. I always imagined old future senior moments where we would hear your infectious laughter down the hall knowing that our funny bone was in for a treat. To many people, myself included, you were the life of the party. Not only able to rock when fun was to be had after a long day but that shining friend that was always willing to listen, offer sympathy, perspective and at times, give much needed levity to any situation.

You were a beast on the show. I admired you as I watched you nail multi page monologues that you learned moments before and pour your heart into every performance with an energy that had that snicks special written all over it. Our deep conversations about life inbetween scenes are some of my favorite moments with you. Getting to hear about your hopes and dreams for the future and with Josey’s arrival, ‘Your greatest success’ I was so happy to see your dream turn into reality.

You deserved more. I’m so sorry but you deserved more. You gave life your all and I hope all the good that you have given to the world will be returned in abundance when you reunite with our brother in the heavenly skies. I’m so grateful for our memories. We will make sure to keep your legacy and spirit alive so Josey will grow up to know the incredible woman you were. Love you, Naya. You are already missed. Eternally.

-HSJ

Naya and I fell into stride with such ease, she was my first friend and ally on our show. In the pilot, our characters came and went with such swiftness. Our enthusiasm brimmed with all of the unknown. We tried to grasp what the other cast members must be feeling as we were working in such separate manners. We dared to dream. What if this show worked? Wouldn’t that be something? Something was brimming, it was palpable. And thank god it worked. Naya’s magnetic talent was going to be unleashed, we just didn’t know it yet. ⁣⁣

I’ve been revisiting Naya’s performances on our show and it has brought me great joy. To work with her was a gift. There was a great deal to absorb - her work ethic, her fearlessness, her talent - supreme. Naya had a laugh that would envelop you and hold you captive. She was mesmerizing. That twinkle in her eye, her luminous smile. Naya lead with truth, humor, wit. I loved her for all of these reasons. ⁣⁣

I loved her sense of curiosity and wanderlust. I was lucky enough to be her travel partner for some of my most favorite adventures. As I write this, I’m grinning with swelling memories of a spontenaous 36 hour excursion - one might even say diversion - to Paris. With Naya, everything was possible and would often simply unfold before us, almost magically.⁣⁣

On this particular jaunt, within ten minutes of checking into our hotel, we found ourselves strolling the halls of L'École des Beaux-Arts, sipping wine from paper cups with students showcasing their latest work. It was fantastic. We were united in our commitment to discovery. And there was always a list of cleverly curated ideas in Naya’s back pocket, should we need it. ⁣⁣

I cannot make sense of this tremendous loss. I will hold onto her and these memories for the rest of time, alongside our Glee family. Please hold space for her, her family, her beautiful boy. ⁣⁣

In absolute, loving memory.

Naya The world is at such a loss and I am truly heartbroken. I still remember the day I met you. You Walked straight up to me, grabbed me by the face and drug me around until I met every single person on set, introducing me as “new booty”. You were one of the first people who made me feel like family when others saw me as an outsider. I didn’t know then that you would become my family and that’s just who you were to everyone.. A Mother, Sister, Daughter and most of all a friend. Your massive heart and bright spark is what carried our entire show, when at times we all felt like giving up.

You always showed up for me when I needed some wisdom or was down and just needed someone to talk to. You took care of everyone around you in a way that was so warm and comforting and you sure knew how to throw a hell of a party!

I always admired your bravery and passion to fight for what’s right even when it seemed like you were up against the world. Your spirit is contagious and you continue to make everyone you have touched a better and stronger person by knowing you.

My favorite part of glee was getting to watch you perform and shine up close every day. You really were the pulse of that show. Anyone who was blessed enough to see and experience your raw talent knows it to be true. You’re one of the smartest and most gifted people I have ever met. There is no one like you and there never will be.

You have changed peoples lives all around the world and you continue to change mine forever. I will never forget your love and kindness. Thank you for sharing your spirit Angel.

I will miss you always. I Love you Naya

For the last 7 years the 13th of July has shattered our hearts beyond repair. There aren’t enough words to describe the pain we are feeling, we are truly heartbroken at the loss of @nayarivera .

Naya, Cory loved you so so much. He cherished your friendship more than you will ever know. From the laughs you shared, to the strength you gave him when he needed it the most. Cory truly adored you. He was in awe of your incredible talent, the way you gave everything you had to each performance; the slap in the auditorium was one of his favourite stories to share. You once said Cory was like a member of your family; you will always be a part of ours. We’ll carry you in our hearts forever. We miss you. Friends reunited for eternity.

We send all our love and strength to your beautiful boy, your family, friends and fans 💔🐻💔

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tracybirds · 3 years

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Don’t talk to me about timelines XD lockdown 3.0 was an unpleasant surprise but it did give me some fun fodder to play with. Missing from this were the stream of Valentines to Covid that spread around my section of NZ social media XD I was tempted to make Scott write some, but alas it didn’t fit. Obviously plenty has been fudged, it’s definitely not meant to be taken too seriously and more allows me to collect together some of the mixed emotions of getting a five hour countdown to lockdown D: That was not fun lol like far out, and we had to prepped for remote learning by 9am the next day. Scott is not allowed to complain further in his swanky apartment and no job XDD

In all seriousness, this is Scott’s story for FabFiveFeb2021, hosted by the ever lovely @gumnut-logic (Happy Birthday! still the right day in Aus, I didn’t miss it right :0 either way *hugs*** and I hope it was a nice day :DD)

Prompt used was “Are you kidding?” - it really resonated on Sunday evening ahaha (okay I will stop rambling in my defense it’s post midnight and I have feverishly pummelled this out in a couple of hours, it had been itching at me all day.... I missed that feeling :DDD)

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Scott was International Rescue through and through, but in the murky waters of the central business district, he thrived.

It was a closed meeting, stretching into the long shadowy hours of the evening. Legal advisors quibbled over clauses while Scott exchanged pleasantries with the company representatives, talking up his local ties to New Zealand’s City of Sails.

“My Dad taught me to sail, right out there in the harbour, you know.”

A casual remark but carefully designed to make himself seem approachable and down-to-earth, just another “one of the guys”. His associate had also sailed once, a national representative in his youth, although time and his new habit of lunch meetings had left those days long in the past.

Personal connections made more money than the lawyers in the background ever could, and Scott prided himself on the homegrown touch.

“Mine too,” said the jovial, middle aged man. “Although I reckon it wasn’t near as pretty a yacht as yours. I’ve read up on you as well, you know.”

Scott laughed, clapping the man on the shoulder.

“Len, I knew we’d get on. What do you say to dinner? This has been going on for far too long.”

“I know a great place that keeps a table reserved for me. Even on Valentine’s.”

“I’m flattered.” He nodded to Van Zyl briefly before addressing the small crowd.

“Ladies, gentlemen. You’ve done some good work, and it’s been a long one. We’ll leave it here for the night and reconfer in the morning.”

He acknowledged the tired smiles and leaned back and listened as the chatter evolved from the dry intricacies of patent law into cheery conversation of dinner plans and family time ahead.

He turned and looked out at the city, lights starting to turn on in the early evening light. The sun wouldn’t set for another half hour or so and he wanted to make the most of what they had left in the day.

So did the rest of the Auckland population it seemed. Cars were flooding into the area, people starting to stream into office buildings.

“So, Federal Street?”

“Len, what’s going on down there?” he asked, jabbing a finger down at the street below.

“Sorry?”

He and Len watched, dumbfounded as the office buildings lit up one by one, lights turning on and off again mere minutes later.

“Mr Tracy! Mr Van Zyl!”

“Charlotte, what is it? What’s happening?”

“Oh, Scott, I mean, Mr Tracy, sorry sir.”

“Charlotte. Take a breath,” commanded Scott, letting the authority of Thunderbird One bleed into his voice. “Tell us what’s happened.”

Charlotte shook her head, her hand creeping up over her mouth. She handed him her tablet.

“It’s a civil defence lockdown, effective midnight.”

A cold dread crept up Scott’s spine.

“Tonight?!”

Len pulled out a comm beside him and started dialling. The person on the other end picked up at the first ring, and dimly Scott could hear her calm, measured voice transmitted through the device.

“Can I help?” he asked, still staring at the stark words on the page.

“I… uh... help? Sir?”

“With the civil defence response, with the company, I don’t know!” He looked up, desperation in his eyes. “What can I do to help?”

Charlotte shook her head, pressing her lips together tightly.

“Mr Tracy, we have an isolation response in place, at your father’s request. Leave the board to organise the company, you need to get home and…”

“No.”

Charlotte’s voice pitched up a near octave.

“Sir, I must insist…”

“There are lockdown protocols on the island as well,” snapped Scott. “I can’t just go home, risk my family, my Grandma.”

She shook her head again.

“You can’t help here. They’ve done it before. It’s Level Three, people will be able to collect gear tomorrow if needed, we’re set up for remote offices and the last thing people need is you dilly-dallying in the top office.”

A loud shrieking alarm pierced through her final words and Scott flinched at the sound.

Len yelped next to him, dropping his comm with a curse.

“Damn emergency alerts, don’t they know the whole country has heard by now? Why do they just SHUT UP!” he bellowed at the still beeping comm. “It’s so unnecessary, the first time we went under, I thought we were about to evacuate for a volcanic eruption. Staying home, it’s hardly an emergency.”

Charlotte did little to hide her scorn, but Scott smothered a smile as he read through the full message.

“Okay, fine,” he said at last. “I can bunker down at the apartment for a few days.”

“Weeks, I’d be prepping for,” interrupted Len. “Hard to say of course, but they keep extending them.”

“You know why we do it,” said Charlotte, coolly.

He shrugged. “Doesn’t mean I have to pretend it’s a holiday like everyone else seems to do.”

“Well, there never was any rest for the wicked, they say,” quipped Scott.

Len barked a sudden laugh.

“You’re alright, Tracy. Shame about how this ended, I’d have liked a bite with you.”

“Well, there’s always next time. Maybe we’ll find time for a shared celebration after all this.”

“My treat, Tracy, my treat,” he said with a chuckle. “Take care now.”

Scott nodded a farewell and turned back to Charlotte.

“You’re going to be fine?”

“I’ll go stay with my Mum,” she said, easily. “She doesn’t like to be in her house alone, and I can’t say I blame her. Holotech’s just not the same as being there, you know?”

“I certainly do,” said Scott, thinking of his brothers, hundreds of kilometres away. “Thank you, Charlotte, I’ll be seeing you.”

“Good luck, Scott.”

***

The downtown apartment was a mere fifteen minute walk from Tracy Tower, but with Charlotte’s words echoing in the back of his mind, the thought of potentially weeks stuck in an incredibly well furnished, yet incredibly unstocked apartment plaguing him, he opted to swing past the local supermarket. Located at the heart of the city, it was never quiet at the best of times but this was unlike anything Scott had ever seen.

The tension in the packed shop was thick as the throng that filled it. Over half the customers were already wearing masks, glaring suspiciously at those who had gone without and Scott self-consciously tugged his rain jacket higher.

Essentials, he thought wildly, just eggs and milk and bread and….

There was no bread. No flour either and the confectionary aisle was already looking sparse. He grabbed a few chocolate bars and threw them in the basket.

“Excuse me,” he said, waving down a frantic and wild-eyed shop assistant. “Do you have any bread out back?”

“No way man, haven’t you heard? Lockdown hits in like three hours, people are going mental.”

“But I don’t have any food at home, I was meant to be flying back tomorrow morning.”

The shop assistant, Ariki as his name badge proclaimed him, grimaced in sympathy.

“That’s hard luck that is. You don’t live in Auckland?”

“No, I don’t. But I won’t be able to get home now either.”

He nodded, like he’d heard it before.

“You’re thinking this is like last year, aren’t you?”

“I, uh, yes.”

“Right,” said Ariki, still nodding along with him. “Right, well it’s not quite the same so don’t stress out. Look, you can still get takeaways this time, we’ll be restocked tomorrow and all the real crazies–” he nodded towards a pair who were arguing over what looked like the last can of baked beans, “–yeah, they’ll be tucked up at home, refusing to take a step outside, it’ll be sweet as.”

Scott stared at him, then looked over at the line snaking through the frozen food aisle, between the meat and dairy and coiling up in the sad looking and so-called fresh produce.

The two chocolate bars and eggs he’s managed to grab hardly seemed worth it at all.

“I can put those back if you want.”

“Yeah,” said Scott, dazedly. “Yeah, thanks that’s be great.”

Ariki smirked a little.

“We’re reopening at seven, yeah? I’ll see you then.”

“Thanks again,” called Scott as he hurried from the shop.

The rain that had been threatening its arrival all weekend was starting to appear, and Scott hurried home, ducking his head down and shoving his hands in his pockets. He knew there’d be enough food for at least his dinner tonight and Ariki was right, he could sort the rest in the morning.

A swipe of his keycard, and he shut out the world with a muffled slam of the door and a sigh.

He shucked off his rain jacket, not bothering to hang it up, and trudged into the kitchen. It wasn’t like there’d be anyone around to complain for a while and he was starving. Lunch, the little afternoon tea nibbles they’d provided, even his last coffee felt like it had been drunken in another life.

Dinner, then finally he’d call home.

He didn’t doubt they already knew what was happening, was probably wondering why he hadn’t called, but none of them had even been swept up in the chaos of lockdown preparations.

He stared blankly in front of the fridge, the cold, bluish light illuminating him in the dark room. The sun had fully set by now, and the last vestiges of twilight had given way to the true, deep night with the onset of rainfall.

His carefully defrosting steak wasn’t on the shelf, and he looked around him in confusion, wondering if he’d accidentally left the meat out on the bench. He was hungry enough that he didn’t think he’d care and his stomach was well practiced at digesting the indigestible, bug and all.

On the kitchen counter was a neat pile: a plate, used utensils and cooking equipment all stacked together, waiting to be washed.

Scott blinked.

“Oh, hey, Scott,” called Gordon’s cheerful voice from behind him.

Scott whirled around, gaping at his younger brother, suddenly in their New Zealand apartment and not where he ought to have been – namely a thousand odd kilometres north east of the kitchen they were standing in.

“Are you kidding me?”

“What?”

“You,” Scott shouted, jabbing a finger towards Gordon. “You ate my dinner!”

“Oh, crap.”

Gordon bolted a split second before Scott charged at him, yelling wildly with all his might.

“Scott, I’m sorry, it was – shit, I mean – come on, it was past nine, I thought you’d been out, and I, oh damn, I, Scott, damn it, I’m not dressed.”

“I don’t care, you ate my food, have you seen the grocery stores? It’s absolute chaos, you traitor, you can go out and get me something, put some pants on and move.”

Gordon yelped as he dove over the couch.

“Okay, I can see there’s been some errors in judgement here,” said Gordon, panting. “I’m sorry, Scott, I really am.”

Scott glared.

“Not good enough.” He paused, eyeing Gordon as he cowered behind the sofa. “What are you even doing here?”

“Uh, excuse me?”

“Here. What are you doing in Auckland?”

“Happy birthday to me too, love you bro, congrats on surviving another year.”

“You came to Auckland for your birthday?”

“Yeah.” Gordon sat up cautiously. “Couldn’t exactly see Penny, and it’s not like there’s many other places that will let us in.”

“I thought we counted as a US territory.”

“John cleared it with someone, I don’t know.” He shrugged. “Didn’t want to be stuck at home for my birthday. And look how that turned out.”

He did look extraordinarily sorry for himself.

Scott sighed, and reached out a hand.

“Go get some damn pants on,” he grumbled. “And go look for Virgil’s emergency snacks, I know he stores them everywhere.”

“Yeah, okay.”

“I mean it, don’t you dare come back unless you bring me food.”

Gordon snorted.

“Sure, wouldn’t want to provoke the wrath of a starving Scooter.”

Scott jerked his body towards Gordon, and smirked as he bolted up the stairs towards the bedrooms, before sinking down into the cushions and closing his eyes.

The comm beeped gently, a stark contrast from the blaring alert from earlier.

“Hey,” he said, opening an eye as Virgil was projected in front of him.

“Tell me you’re not–”

“Oh, I am.”

“Gordon too?”

“Yep.”

“Damn.”

“Tell me about it.”

They were both quiet for few seconds, thinking about how rapidly the world had seemed to shift around them.

“I suppose it’s only for a few days,” began Virgil, but Scott was already shaking his head.

“We gotta do the full two weeks. After that, we ought to be able to clear an exit with the harbourmaster and the coast guard, even if it’s not over, but we can’t come back earlier. The only reason we could move freely before without our helmets is because–”

“Preaching to the choir, Scott. I get it.”

“You gonna be alright without us?”

Virgil shrugged. “Rescues are down what with more people staying at home. Alan and I can handle the small change, and Kayo’s been itching for some POD practice recently. We’ll manage. Besides, you’re the one stuck with Gordon.”

“Hey!”

“Food,” growled Scott and Gordon threw a muesli bar and a tube of M&Ms at him.

“Is that mine?”

“Gordon ate my dinner and the shops were out of everything,” grumbled Scott. “Blame him.”

“It’s my birthday, I don’t deserve this.”

“Cry me a river.”

“Alright, don’t kill each other before the two weeks is up. John’s already organised a betting pool, don’t give him the satisfaction of winning again, he’ll be insufferable.”

“Oh, he’s on,” said Gordon, grinning. “Tell him I put fifty bucks on Scott tipping me out of bed or off the couch by the end of the week.”

“Got it.”

“You can’t bet against us,” said Scott, mumbling around the chocolate. “I thought you were on my side.”

“You tried to murder me over a steak.”

“The jury would have never convicted.”

“Okay, I can see you two are going to have a fun time,” said Virgil, loudly over their bickering. “See you in two weeks.”

He didn’t wait for a response. After all, two weeks was a smidge outside even his patience.

#scott tracy #thunderbirds are go #gordon tracy #virgil tracy #sometimes i fic

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insanely-creative-things · 4 years

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Everything wrong with Karmi and why its a problem

Never thought I would do this thing, but as of now… I’ve kept this to myself for a long time since the beginning of the show, and I want to say that this is not recent, this is not a response to every fan that likes this character. This is to share why I find Karmi as an awful character in full detail and the fact that it’s being portrayed positively rather troubling.

(This is just a small disclaimer put to put it shortly: Jelly pig’s actions were inexcusable. She can hate Karmi all she wants and should not be forced to like her. However, sending threats and going out of their way to put nasty comments on other’s piece of work is not a healthy way to express your distaste for a character. At most, they should have just filtered their tags so that they don’t see any Karmi related work on their dash. And Jelly/pig or whatever your name is now if you’re reading this: I want to let you know that you can hate Karmi all you want, but again, sending death threats is not a way to get others to listen to you. And I get what you were trying to do, trying to say that Karmi’s existence is worse than COVID. While I get what you’re saying if you seriously think this way then you need to reevaluate yourself and your choice of words. Karmi is a bad character but there are far worse things to worry about. I do genuinely hope you change your behavior and express your opinions in a healthy manner, that you are getting better, but again, death threats will get you nowhere. In other words: think before you run your mouth.)

I am a fan of Disney, and I especially adore the show Big Hero 6: The Series. However, it has come to my attention that a certain character is a harmful presence in the show that is being portrayed in a positive light when their actions had clearly been damaging. In Big Hero 6: The Series, there is a character named Karmi, who is a Biotech student. From what I can understand, she is portrayed as a rival to Hiro Hamada to which her actions are endearing, and is set up as a love interest to the main character, with the added charm being that she is a fanfiction writer who is enamored with Hiro's superhero identity. However, upon further inspection and research, it becomes clear that Karmi, the character, is not a positive character who should be presented as such. In fact, what her actions and behavior actually are is that of a bully, an antagonist. While it is nothing new to have a bully character to be an antagonist, it appears that the writers and executive producers of Big Hero 6: The Series are unaware of/ignorant of how Karmi appears in the show and genuinely believe that Karmi's character is endearing. Here is the following evidence to display Karmi's actions and why it is not justified.

In her first appearance of the show, Issue 188, she is introduced to Hiro as to ‘help him’ socialize better by Professor Granville, and yet her behavior/actions to Hiro, when the professor is not around, is demeaning and antagonistic; One particular scene near the end where Karmi is experimenting on a dangerous virus, a virus that requires her to be in a biohazard suit, and yet doesn't tell Hiro to wear a biohazard suit himself. This becomes more concerning since the virus is compromised and could have possibly escaped, with the chance of it infecting Hiro yet she expresses no concern over his well-being and that she could have gotten him killed via said virus. Even if this is played for comedy, no biotech major or scientist would even think of replicating Karmi's actions. Especially virology majors and biotech scientists because it is the most irresponsible and negligent thing to do. Then later, we learn that it’s not Hiro that has a problem socializing, it was Karmi the whole time. Helping others socialize is nothing new, and while that is a start... later in the series we see Karmi having no problem talking to others around her, and can easily approach Liv to steal Hiro’s attention to present her invention(More on that later.) So immediately, it shows that Karmi’s problem isn’t social, it’s behavioral, she has gotten in trouble for her behavior before.

Now, I got to say this: at the beginning, I genuinely wanted to give Karmi a chance as a character, reasoning myself that it’s only her first episode. I was not expecting a 180, I only want her to be at least decent to Hiro. I could tolerate a sarcastic line or two... but Failure Mode had ultimately destroyed any sort of sympathy I could have had for her since then, the one to make me shout ‘WHAT. A. BITCH!’ and make me absolutely hate her.

During the episode of Failure Mode, her second appearance in the show, Hiro Hamada's first attempt at his project has been a failure; to which her first reaction to doing so is to film the blundered presentation and post it online for all to see. Her action during that moment is in fact, cyberbullying; an act to which the bully will post slander or humiliating moments of their victims' actions online to further humiliate them. The fact that Professor Granville, a professor/Dean of the school, who was teaching that class, in particular, does not reprimand Karmi for her blatant bullying here is disgraceful as no other teacher in authority would allow such a vile act happen in their classroom.

When I first watched it I was staring in horror at such a blatant act of bullying. I actually stopped the video I was watching because I couldn't stomach watching any more of it and it took me a solid week until I could watch the rest of the episode. And even then, she didn’t stop there: She does it again when Hiro’s second presentation inadvertently destroying the other student’s projects to which Karmi(and a group of students standing behind her) taking pictures of the whole ordeal. The next scene shows Granville and Hiro having a moment discussing how Hiro shouldn’t be discouraged and that he shouldn’t call himself a failure… to which Karmi barges in with her project and asks Granville point black to let Hiro call himself a failure many more times,(curiously the next scene cuts off to the gang before it gets to Granville’s reaction so we never see if Karmi was scolded for this.) Then, when Hiro presents his project a third time, Karmi has her phone out expecting it to fail a third time! That’s three times Karmi had done in a span of an episode with the intent to humiliate Hiro online and even wanting Hiro to call himself a failure! Could you imagine a child watching that episode, someone who might be bullied at school, watching such an act go by, and for laughs?? That’s just downright terrifying and horrific for anyone in that situation.

In Small Hiro One, Karmi is clearly demeaning to Hiro as she makes fun of him not joining the other students to a seminar of a student-alumni due to his age. Even when they had a moment to talk, Karmi originally came up to Hiro to humiliate him for being around a 'fake scientist' that made 'fake volcanoes' for a kid's show. So even that sweet moment is soured when you realized she came up to him to insult him to make herself feel better for being the first student to be kicked out of the seminar. Even Hiro, in his super suit, tells Karmi to be nicer to other people! But even then it doesn’t work and Karmi still continues her malicious behavior.

Fan Friction is a more infamous example. While it is true that people write fanfiction of their beloved celebrities and actors there has to be a line. In Hiro Hamada's view, he is clearly uncomfortable with Karmi's writing of his superhero self being portrayed in a romantic relationship when, as previously stated before, her prior actions towards him are antagonistic. He is a person, a person that had been antagonized by Karmi. He had every right to be upset about this, but the others around him basically chalk it up to being embarrassed by Karmi's infatuation with Hiro's alter ego rather than the fact that the fanfiction is written by someone who despises him.

Do you remember the episode Big Hero 7? The plot being that Fred inadvertently exposed his superhero identity to Mole which lead to Mole blackmailing the team to which they had to give in to his demands that ultimately failed because Mole still made that appointment with bluff dunder to expose their identities? That all started because Fred saw that Mole forged an autograph of Fred's superhero self, where he claimed they(The team) go apple picking and are close friends, which leads to Fred’s outburst and the reveal. Fred did it because a person who despises him and does everything he can to upset/torment him made an autograph that says they are friends when they’re clearly not as Mole tormented him for laughs. So, how come Fred has the right to be upset about Mole's autograph forgery, and yet Hiro can't be upset with Karmi's fanfic? I bet you that Fred would have been just as upset at the fanfic if it was written by mole as a self-insert, and Gogo would be just as upset if Mole also included writing herself as his GF like Karmi writing Super Hiro as her boyfriend. And here's a kicker: if the fanfic was literally written by anybody else, then Hiro wouldn't have been so upset about it. Why? Cause it was a stranger that wrote it, someone he never met and could care less about. He would have probably shared the sentiment the others had. Except it wasn't written by some stranger, it was by Karmi, who had routinely bullied him and belittled him from day one all because he’s a younger student than her.

Karmi’s self-insert fanfic even backfired when Momakase literally thought that Karmi was in fact Hiro’s girlfriend and kidnapped her. To which brings up this thought: Why would Momakase think that a self-insert about a student be real? Is it because Obake thought it was real? I highly doubt it since he had been spying on the team for a long time and would have known everything about them, hell he made a replica of Hiro’s room in the previous episode Rivalry Weak! He would have been long aware of Hiro’s true relationship with Karmi and realized that Karmi is not involved with the team in any way. Its actually my head-cannon that Obake placed that fanfic in his sources as a joke, as a way to test Momakase to see if she could tell the difference between real info and fanfiction, to which she failed... and then he proceeded to laugh at her when he told her the truth after the fact.

In the episode Big Problem, it starts off with the introduction of Liv Amara who is going towards to see Hiro Hamda for work on Baymax. While they had waited for Liv Amara to arrive, Karmi comes in uninvited to get Liv Amara's attention. Then Liv Amara pushes away Hiro because it was Tadashi who made Baymax; there was no explanation as to why Liv Amara disregarded Hiro because it was Tadashi's invention,( is it because she had a run-in with Tadashi before that lead to some bad blood between them? We never learned anything about it). To which Karmi steps in and takes Liv Amara's attention. Hiro Hamada is clearly upset that he was snuffed for his invention not being his own, to which the others around him basically say that he is jealous of Karmi attracting Liv Amara's attention. That is a false assessment from the supporting characters and from the writers. Karmi had no right to be there when it was clearly Hiro's interview with Liv Amara. If Liv was so impressed with Karmi that she chose to spend the day with her, fund her project, and give her an internship in season 2... then why didn't she go to Karmi in the first place? If they wanted to have Hiro jealous it should be that Granville tells the students that Liv is going to see Karmi because of her invention. That would make Hiro’s jealousy believable, but instead, Hiro’s supposed jealousy is out of anger that Baymax, his brother’s invention, was snuffed by Liv Amara (who has the power to distribute Baymax to the public to help people like Tadashi wanted) with no explanation why and only to have Karmi, who had no right to be there, take her attention.

The episode Intern-about showcases most of Karmi's negative interactions with Hiro here as he is bothered by Karmi's high and mighty personality to which he goes to get an internship with Krei Tech. When Karmi sees that Hiro is being used for ordinary errands she insults him and laughs away like a bitch. Nothing more, not even an ‘I’m sorry’.

Prey Date has Karmi calling him an idiot. Of course, she does ask Super Hiro how Hiro is and a lot of people find that endearing. Except that was the bare minimum of decency anyone could ask. Fred asked if Mole was OK after their battle with High Voltage and not much is said about that. Even then, why didn’t Karmi ask Hiro herself? Why didn’t she look for Hiro and ask how he was, and what Orso Knox did? She didn’t. It could have happened off-screen except that’s not good enough. If it doesn’t appear in the show than that never happened, which means Karmi’s concern for Hiro by asking him in person did not happen.

Something Fluffy also has Karmi being an idiot considering she exploded at Hiro for even suggesting that Liv was behind the monster attacks and that he had no evidence to prove it. Except he does. He has Karmi’s sticker patch that he got from Ned Ludd, the hybagon. It is literally Karmi’s invention found on a person, that transformed him into a monster, and she says that it wasn’t Liv? That is more than enough evidence to show that Liv is behind the attacks because last we checked, Liv funded Karmi’s project, making it part of Sycorax. There is literally no reason for her to doubt or attack Hiro on this. Karmi could be forgiven if the patch itself was redesigned without her knowledge by Liv and Chris, but it’s an exact match which means Karmi should have known better.

On a side note: The Mayoi being a Fungus is true: however, fungi are not plants, not even close. They are in the class of Animalia because of their eukaryotic cells, they lack the ability to photosynthesize so they get their energy by absorption of other plant life, and the fact that their cell walls are made of a carbohydrate polymer called chitin, which is also found in insects as their exoskeletons. There’s even a species of fungi called the cordyceps that infect insects like ants, to which they plant themselves into the head, control the hosts’ bodies to an environment to spread their spores, to which the host dies as the fungus consumes it. What the mayoi are is just an evolved form of the fungus (thankfully not the cordyceps strain of fungi otherwise it would be far more terrifying in the show) given legs and eyes instead of a plant being given an animals’ characteristics and biology. Even the science Karmi uses isn’t correct, misdiagnosing the mayoi as plants.

There are plenty of more instances that had shown Karmi behave at her worst and I had no love for her to even care about her at this point.

For more details about Karmi’s actions, I recommend this post, https://galaxiesinadot.tumblr.com/post/187608576016/big-hero-6-season-2 as it goes more in detail about everything Karmi’s interactions with Hiro and how it was antagonistic..

But then, a particular moment during the episode, City of Monsters had me once again staring in shock to which it made me realize just how malicious and ego-driven this character is and made me wonder why the writers and executive producers think this was acceptable. Now, beforehand, her blatant bullying behavior could have been done out of ignorance simply because she doesn't know who exactly Hiro Hamada is because to her, he was simply a younger student that took up the title of the youngest student in SFIT. Not a good excuse but it would explain it. But what she revealed showed that all her previous aggression towards Hiro Hamada was out of genuine malice, nothing was accidental. The insults, wanting Hiro to call himself a failure, the cyberbullying, the purposeful attempt to get Liv Amara’s attention, every aggression towards Hiro was all on purpose; the story reveals that Karmi does, in fact, know who Tadashi Hamada is and that she had admired him at school, something she confesses to Hiro... She had known from the start that Tadashi Hamada is Hiro's older brother, and therefore would have known what had happened to Hiro and Callaghan's theft of his microbots. This means that she had chosen to harass Hiro Hamada, she had chosen to call him names. She had chosen to belittle him in any way possible because of her wounded pride in being the youngest genius at school. It was not a misunderstanding, it wasn’t a miscommunication problem. Karmi deliberately chose to behave this way towards Hiro despite knowing who Tadashi is. And even after their time at the lab where they worked at the cure, all Karmi had to say about Hiro is that he was useful…

Not ‘’He’s not so bad to talk to’

Not ‘He’s actually OK.’’

He was simply ‘useful’ to her…

That is not a friendship blossoming. That is just Karmi using Hiro for her project. which meant that she only mentioned Tadashi to emotionally manipulate Hiro to get him to help her. The fact that she said he was useful is the type of language that Liv literally has for anyone: even Karmi. It’s an antagonistic way of speaking of another person and this is considered their relationship being improved over the course of the show? And in the end, when she leaves she doesn’t bother to say goodbye to Hiro. Not even send him a text message to explain why she just up and leaves. That doesn’t sound like a friendship where you leave without another word, especially since this is where tech is super-advanced where sending a text wouldn’t a problem. Instead, Hiro gets nothing out of it.

Now, all of the previous actions and behavior Karmi had done would have been interesting if the writers had been aware and kept Karmi in the role of the antagonist at school. I would honestly enjoy having Karmi as a bully because not only would she be someone you love to hate because of her bitchy behavior, like Heather Chandler from Heathers, it would lead to Hiro’s rising above her and others rightfully verbally slapping her in the face because of her shitty behavior and foiled attempts to undermine Hiro. Except she isn’t: Instead she’s being praised for that bad behavior, and Hiro is the one who has to apologize and be the bigger person, never the other way around.

The way she had been portrayed and presented with Hiro Hamada is unsettling because this is not a relationship to even form in a healthy manner; this type of behavior, which has been documented over time, could evolve into an abusive relationship. Just like the stories where the woman abused their male partners and some people not giving a damn because they thought of it as charming. In fact, if Hiro was the girl and Karmi the boy in this dynamic, going through the exact same thing, a lot more people would point out just how careless the producers and writers are because they chose to portray this type of relationship as positive.

And this isn’t just me: There’s a review that specified Karmi being a major problem in the show.

https://www.imdb.com/review/rw4915097/?ref_=tt_urv

The executive producers' Bob Schooley, Mark McCorkle, and any other previous writers involved don't seem to realize that this type of behavior should not be presented in a positive light as it could encourage young children to tolerate their bullies and even pursue a relationship with them, which then continues the cycle of bullying which would then evolve to an abusive relationship. It is best that they do not resume writing the character Karmi because she is not a positive influence for the intended audience because her behavior and actions are excused while Hiro is the victim and repeatedly written to just tolerate her abuse which in this time, is simply inexcusable and recklessly irresponsible to teach children.

Now, whenever I hear responses this sort of thing, a common defense I hear is that its a kids show, its fiction, it shouldn't be taken seriously as it has no impact on the real world.

Except... it really does.

Animal Farm? A critique and warning about Stalin Communism that is still used today.

20,000 leagues under the sea? The real-life Nautilus.

Star Wars in general? Lightsabers in the process of being built.

Harry Potter? Two real-life theme parks in Universal Studious that had gotten insanely popular since their grand opening.

Also, kids shows/movies have the power to show lessons and experiences that could speak to someone at any age. Big Hero 6 the movie itself is an example, considering that it has themes of grief and loss and how it could affect someone to progress positively (Hiro Hamada) or in a self-destructive path(Callaghan). It touches on REAL WORLD GRIEF, THE REALITY OF THE LOSS OF A LOVED ONE. THE SAME LOSS THAT IS STILL PRESENT IN THE SHOW ITSELF.

How can people claim that a show/movie is so deep and meaningful that touches their hearts and influences them and yet turn around and say ‘it’s a kids show’ as a defense when people point out their flaws? Either small and minute or genuinely a large problem.

And here’s what I’ll say next: You are not a bad person for liking Karmi. If this made you uncomfortable to see all this then... I don’t know what to say. You can continue loving this type of character all you want... but don’t deny the reality of your favorite character being a toxic influence when other people call it out.

#Karmi #big hero 6 #Big Hero Six the series #big hero 6 the series #Karmi bh6

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purplesurveys · 3 years

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1096

survey by doedear

When you get an account for something, what's the first username you try? It depends on what I’m signing up for. For social media and informal sites I use the same username I’ve been using for like a decade now just because it makes it easier for me to remember; for more professional websites I use my first name, my middle initial, and my surname.

What do you think might be someone else's first impression of you? The most common impression is quiet and aloof, which I’m honestly fine with.

Is texting having a negative or a positive effect for social relationships? I appreciate that it makes staying connected with my loved ones a lot easier, but I disagree with how it’ll sometimes be used to deal with situations that are ideally handled by person, like breakups or serious arguments. In other words it can definitely have both; it depends on how it’s used.

Would you be okay with a friend wanting to date one of your exes? I might have a personal problem with it, but it’s not like I would do anything to prevent it from happening. I would not be in the place to do so. I will probably distance myself from that friend though, just so that I don’t have to get updated on what’s going on between them.

Have you ever been addicted to something other than a drug? No.

Have you ever been addicted to a drug? Nope.

Do you like macadamia nut cookies? Sure, though I really ever only eat one kind; Starbucks has a dark chocolate macadamia cookie that I like to get from time to time.

What kind of accent do people typically have where you're from? Philippine English, which I’d say sounds a bit similar to American English, excep for the small differences here and there of our differences in pronunciation.

Bruno Mars - fail or win? He’s a win for me. When it comes to Top 40/pop music, he has always been one of my honest favorites. Have kind of a crush on him too lol, so there’s that.

Can you sleep without a fan on? During this time of the year, yes. It doesn’t last that long since Philippines was never meant to be a cold country, though.

Does history interest you at all? It really does; I can watch, read, and go to museums about it all day if I could. It was also my favorite class and it was the subject I could rely on to have good grades in and pull my average up, hahaha.

What's something you wish you could do-over? As much as possible I don’t really think of this as I don’t see the point in focusing on situations that are already done and over with. But if I had no choice, I’d pick the time I was a college freshman and make myself less-breakdown-y and less-depression-y.

How many times a day do you apply deoderant? Once, at the start of the day.

Have you ever tried any drugs? Other than caffeine, no.

What caused the most intense physical pain you've ever felt? The time I accidentally ripped my earring off and permanently disfigured my piercing. Also, when I touched a plugged-in clothing iron thinking it wouldn’t be hot enough.

Do you like those Sperry Top-Sider shoes? They’re actually pleasant to look at, yes. I’d buy a pair for myself.

Can you wear shoes like that without getting blisters on your ankles? When I’ve worn them like 5 times already, yeah. I always get blisters with newly-bought pairs, though.

Would you agree that dark chocolate tastes like rotten chocolate? Uh, no? That’s some poorly-made dark chocolate you have.

Do you touch your lips when you're nervous? I have other habits.

Do you think you can read other people's body language well? Yeah. This is on surveys a lot...

Are you a good driver? I’mmmmmm honestly a little reckless because my temper is shortest when on the road lol. But since I’ve driven the longest out of all my friends and have grown used to parking in tricky spots, changing lanes, overtaking, etc., they all still prefer to ride with me.

Did you pass your driver's test the first time you took it? Yes. I think he passed me out of sympathy though (because I did terrible and we both knew it), because failing me would’ve taken so much more time on my end and theirs. And in the Philippines, getting things over with matters more than quality control haha.

Would you rather be involved in a watergun or a paintball gun war? At this point maybe a paintball gun war, since I’ve been to many water gun fights before.

Is your hair in layers or is it all the same length? It’s the same length. I haven’t had it layered since the 5th grade.

Is there anyone who you're afraid to be in a car with, if they're driving? A friend who’s new to driving, like Jo or Angela.

What's a quick fix for a bad hair day? I just dab my hair with some water at the sink; it’s usually able to do the trick and make me look prepared when I’m unable to take a full shower.

Do you enjoy flying or do you get scared? The idea of accidents and crashes scare me, of course, but I try not to let it ruin my experience of flying and traveling.

Be honest. Do you like making other people feel jealous? Sometimes but it has waned more as I’ve gotten older. It has just started to mean less and less through the years and as my priorities change.

Have you ever purposely made someone of the opposite sex jealous? No. When it came to Mike, I didn’t really flaunt my relationship since I felt bad for him.

Are you addicted to shopping? Nope, but I can definitely see myself being if I ever decide to make it a weekly habit.

Do you always wear mascara and eyeliner? I never wear either.

Do you have any huge hoodies lined with snuggly fur on the inside? No, and I can tell you that is uncommon to see here because that sounds insanely warm to wear.

Is there anything you do, kind of habitually, that's completely mindless but helps you think? I don’t think so. I’m not sure I understood the question, either...

Do you like headphones or ear-buds more? Earbuds. Headphones undeniably have better quality, but they’re bulky.

What's your favorite winter sport? I don’t watch or play any.

What's something you're very good at? Meeting deadlines. I never miss one.

Where do you spend the majority of your summer? At home? ...Where else am I supposed to spend it in? Haha.

Who do you usually spend the most of your summer with? My family. I don’t have any yearly practices set every summer.

How old were you and where did you go on your first real date? I was 16; it was a quaint, Italian-American restaurant in Greenbelt.

Have you ever had a bonfire on the beach at night? I don’t think so. I would love that experience.

Do you like sour gummy worms? Yeah. I like the more gelatinous kind than the gummy candies with sour powder on them, though.

Have you ever helped a complete stranger with anything? I’m sure I have, but nothing super specific is coming to mind at the moment...just little things like holding the door open for someone carrying a heavy bag, cleaning up the plates and utensils on my table so that the server won’t have to do much work, teaching a stranger the COVID safety protocols before entering an establishment if they look confused, etc.

Would you pick up a hitchhiker if they seemed harmless? Probably not.

When playing a sport, are you more focused on winning or having fun? Winning, which I know doesn’t make me the best person to play with so I prefer to watch by the sidelines anyway. I do have fun playing table tennis though :)

Who's the last person who gave you a piggy back ride? Gabie.

Who's the last person that you gave a piggy back ride? I’m lighter than everyone else I know so I’ve never given one.

Rock, paper, or scissors? I switch it up every time.

Would you be bothered if your boyfriend liked to bite you? No. I liked lightly biting my ex as a show of affection and just to get her attention whenever I wanted to be playful.

Are you any good at dancing? No. I’m good at memorizing routines, but could never do them on my own.

Even if you aren't, do you like to dance? Only by myself.

What makes you feel the most 'alive'? New places and new experiences.

Whose conversations do you appreciate the most? Angela and Hans.

Is there anyone's advice you value enough to take against your own judgment? Gabie. At least in the past.

How often do you get the opportunity to be completely alone? Very seldom, which is why I try to give it to myself every weekend as a reward.

Do you like being alone or does it drive you crazy? I appreciate if I’ve been around people for too long, but I also shouldn’t have too much of it.

Do you have a trampoline? No.

Do you get nervous when driving in convertibles, knowing that if you flipped, you'd be screwed? I’ve never had this concern because I’ve never driven in one.

What's your favorite Pixar movie? Toy Story, of course.

Are you capable of successfully lying to someone you love? I guess, but I’ll hate doing it.

Who do you adore? Angela’s mom.

#survey #surveys

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winesympathy-blog · 4 years

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Wine & Sympathy - Episode 3: Back At It Again [Transcript]

Show Notes:

We sit down with actress and make-up artist, Jennifer Holt, who discusses getting back into the acting game after taking some time off. We talk about what it's like to raise a child actor, being back in the audition seat, and how the corona virus has been affecting her daily life.

Co-host: Asabi Goodman

Co-host: Vanessa "Ness" Bristow

Guest: Jennifer Holt

Social Media & Website Links

Facebook: www.facebook.com/winesympathy

Instagram: www.instagram.com/winesympathy

Twitter: www.twitter.com/sympathywine

Website: www.winesympathy.page

Guest Links

Website: www.facebook.com/jennifer.jbholt

Instagram: www.instagram.com/jennifer_holt

[START]

And hello!

Hi everybody, this is Vanessa.

And this is Asabi and together we are...

BOTH

Wine and Sympathy!

Well today we actually have one of our famous special guests that we keep talking about.

Yes, such a treat, such a treat and I'm excited to get to know this person.

I know.

Yes.

Okay, I'll do a little bit of an intro. So today our special guest via phone, due to COVID-19, is Miss Jennifer Holt.

Woohoo!

Jennifer is known for her roles in Flipper, Pacific Drive, Beverly Hills Family Robinson, Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, and is currently in pre-production for the new indie production, The Witches Knight, which is so cool.

It looks cool.

I like witches!

Yes, and it's not like NIGHT, it's KNIGHT like a Knight.

Knight!

Yes. As in swashbuckling. Ha ha ha!

She's also...a little bit of history about Jen...she was in the running to be Miss Saigon for Andrew Lloyd Webber when he first brought Miss Saigon to Australia. Now that's kind of how we know each other from our musical theatre history. She's also a working hair & makeup artist in many productions, and is the mother of the fabulous teen actor, PJ Holt. So, recent changes, Jen, you've decided to jump back in front of the camera. Can you tell us why?

Why? Well, actually my son has been pushing me to go back in front of the camera. He actually found old videos of my musical theatre time. You know, the old VHS?

BOTH

YES!?

I am currently doing that, VHS to DVDs lately.

She has some shocking stuff.

Well, he found a couple of them when he was younger, and he's been asking me why don't I do it since he does it? And my old agent, Peter Glover, who is a producer now. His daughter is actually one of the producers of "Tidelands" and what was the other one? Oh my gosh.

The Witches Knight?

Oh, no, no. She's a producer for ABC. Oh, sure. Harrow. Yes, she is part of Hoodlum.

Harrow? I've been on that show. Yes, Hoodlum. I know them very well

And they just convinced you to jump back in front...

Yes. Yeah. So she and Peter are father and daughter, and they used to be my agents.

Okay.

And Peter Glover actually used to say, "get your butt into gear, Jen, and get back in front of the camera."

That’s fantastic!

That's good, too, because you are a woman of the same age as us.

Yes.

And that's one of the things about this podcast that we're talking about. What it is like to be a woman in her 40s.

Prime! Just say it, a woman in her 40s.

BOTH

[Laughter] The new 20s!

Okay so double 20s! What's it like to be in the performing arts? As you? How do you feel going back into it now?

Okay, it's been a while since... Well, it hasn’t been a while. But to start going back there and putting myself out and auditioning. It's kind of daunting. Yeah?

BOTH

Yeah.

Because the fact that I think to myself, “Oh my god, I'm old.”

You're not old, but we know how you feel.

You're experienced, NOT old!

Yeah but do you know what I mean? Yeah. What can I...What roles can I play? And sometimes I don't get to play the role that I like to play anymore. Does that make sense?

Yeah, definitely. Definitely.

Yeah. And then sometimes, though, there is one that I would like to play, ones that I'd like to play a certain age, our age group, and then sometimes they say, "No. You don't look old enough to play that part.” But I am that old.

Yeah, that's right. We get that.

Because we don't look our age. It’s super weird.

Well, I mean, I think it's that the "powers that be" have this idea of what a woman in their 40s looks like. And you know, when women in their actual 40s rock up. They're like "Oh, you're not exactly what we had in mind. We need somebody who looks a little bit... "

BOTH

Older!

Well, they should open it and make it women in their 50s instead of women in their 40s.

Exactly.

I think it's marketing's fault or advertising.

Who knows? I think people just see someone on television and they go, “Oh, that person must be in their 40s,” because...Let's be honest, when you were in your 20s what did you think a 40 year old looked like?

Old.

Yeah, exactly. [Laugh]

And wrinkly. Hey, Jennifer. Tell me about The Witches Knight.

Oh, at the moment I can't really say anything.

NDA [Non Disclosure Agreement].

Well that was a little bit of a "boom boom"....

Now Jennifer, this is Asabi here, and I know we haven't met, but you know I did a little bit of IMDb stalking on you. And it turns out that we worked on the same project together - Project One Shot - back in the day. Remember that? I played one of the Real Housewives of Sanctuary Cove.

Oh yes, you guys would have been at that table in the restaurant. Yes. The really stuck up housewives!

Yes, that's right. And they gave us free food and free champagne. It was really nice.

It sounds like a great gig!

You guys got the best spot, just so you know; no one else got to eat, in the whole production!

They put tonnes of food in front of us all day long. And it was just like little finger foods. But still, it was nice. And they were like "Eat, eat it. We made it just for you!" So it was really good.

Well then we would've met then, for sure.

Yeah, definitely.

I was actually in that section.

Oh, okay. Then, yes. So we would have met each other.

That's what's so crazy about Brisbane, or Queensland, but Brisbane specifically. We all kind of know each other. It's like, you know, the 12 degrees or seven degrees of Kevin Bacon. The seven degrees of BrisVegas.

Yeah, that's right. We should make that a game.

We should make that a thing?

We Should.

Well, we’ll figure it out, and we'll get back to you.

With each guest, we’re like, “so how are we connected?”

Now, Jennifer, tell me as a female artist, how do you do everything that you do? You're a mom, you obviously have a job. You're obviously pushing your career and doing everything that we do to survive. How do you do it? How do you cope?

How do I cope? Good question. Do you want me to lie a little bit? I'm kidding. Seriously? Um, it's a really good question. I just do, I focus on well, most of my focus is helping my son cause he gets more auditions than I do, due to his age, and his look, he is better looking than me.

Never.

We do have the same agent.

Oh, well see...

That’s cute.

So... but he is...but coping with everything, it's... Ohhh, it's a lot of reorganizing beforehand. Does that make sense? I have to think of everything that needs to be done at least a day, a week ahead.

It's all about time planning, isn't it?

Does that make sense? It's, it's, and it’s not fun.

No, I can only imagine your calendar must be crazy. Just completely chock full of appointments here and there for you and your son.

Yes, it's basically getting up in the morning. Okay, remind myself what's on my agenda. So I have to prepare everything. If something like, well, my son’s gotta go to school, so I got to take him to school and do everything else. I mean, he's only 13, he should go to, you know, make his own lunch. However, I'm a bit pedantic about what he eats. So, I wake up early in the morning and I make and cook his breakfast. I cook all his lunches so he goes to school with proper food, and then I come back home after dropping him off and I go into the computer and I'm on the phone.

And you are doing stuff like our podcast! In your history of everything that you've done, which everyone knows about and we can also check you out you've got a Facebook page don't you? What’s...what's your link to that?

Oh it's my name is Jennifer Holt, oh my gosh what is my Facebook page?

That's okay we don't promote ourselves well either. That's all good. We will we will definitely put a link to your Facebook and your socials.

[Laughter] What's your best experience in your career to date? What would, in your mind, is like, the first thing that comes to your mind as being like the best experience so far?

Best experience? Ah, just one?

Okay, give us a couple.

Give us your top ten!

I mean, to me, working with amazing other talents is, I think...I can't really say I liked working on Dr Jekyll & Hyde over, over Flipper or anything like that. I just...I don't know. I just love just working with creative people. Yeah, you know what I mean? Yeah, definitely. It's like my son the other day he received a trophy from Texas for his little film that he wrote. I was more excited than he was. And I said, “Oh My God, honey you won!” And he goes "Oh, thanks Mom". So I said “okay great, don't jump out of your skin” stop...

I think he realizes that it's from Texas. [Laughter] Not to degrade any of our Texas listeners, if we have any but...I'm from Oklahoma. So you know... [Laughter]

You know, I said to him, aren't you happy? He says, "But Mummy, I don't actually do it for the trophy. I like the trophy, but I do it because I really love what I do." That's the same thing; I think that's the feeling that I have as well. I enjoy being on set. It's my happy place. It's my son's happy place. We actually get on really well when we're both on set. Funnily enough.

Have you ever done anything together?

Oh, there was a Commonwealth Games commercial. I was...They wanted me to drive him...pretending I'm driving him to his swimming training. That was one. Oh! He's actually in The Witches Knight, as well.

Oh, fantastic. The one that we can't talk about. Yeah.

Yeah, well, he got cast before I did.

And see there is already a picture for it up on IMDb.

Oh. Did you see the picture?

I did, yeah.

Which one? Of me looking really glamorous?

Let me see. I’ll have to look at it again.

Oh the actual or the mock up poster?

Yeah, I think it’s the mock poster, which is very cool. Very, very cool.

It is cool. Now obviously being part of this crazy BrisVegas community that we're in, how do you find it for casting? You said before that your son got more auditions than you did.

Okay, with PJ he doesn't get a lot of Australian auditions. He gets some more of American, because he has an agent in Australia, as well as LA, and all his auditions are all American/Canadian based auditions.

And why do you think that is?

Because he doesn't have an Aussie accent.

Right. See? And I think that's a very important insight for Australia. Because I suffer from the same thing. I don't have an Australian accent either.

Yeah. He has your accent.

Yeah, yeah. And I get a lot of auditions for American based shows that are filming here, but rarely do I get auditions for the Australian shows that are here. Or I just get cast as an extra. And I love...I love being on set as you said, you know, there's just something about being around creative people...

But, you’re more than just an extra.

Exactly. And what sucks is that they see me and they're like, "Oh! Let's put the camera on her." So then I get seen...

And then you open your mouth!

That's right! I get seen in that one little thing and then I can't get cast as anything else because, you know, I've played plain-clothes detective on Harrow for the last three seasons, and I'm like, “Give me one line. I can say no. I can say no. I can say it like an Australian. I could say NO [in Australian accent].” And there you go.

That was so "Aussie."

That was a bit Aussie. It was a bit scary!

You have a bit of an accent too, Jennifer.

Accents. I do. I can have her accent as well.

A little bit. Yeah, not bad. Not bad at all.

Now with a Southern accent anybody can do a Southern accent...

I agree with that girl, anybody can do a Southern accent. It's so simple.

We will leave that one over there...

But yeah, so with auditions and stuff even with myself because Australia - we're talking 20 years ago, yeah. More than 20 years ago - it wasn't as multicultural or multi-ethnic when it comes to television or film. Vanessa, you would agree to this, unless it was musical theatre because no one really sees you up close.

Yeah, that's right and they could put paint on your face to make you look white.

But for Films & TV, as you may have seen on my IMDb, all my stuff is all American as well, because I played Mexican.

Oh, a hot mess. A hot Mexican mess. So, what do you feel the state of Australian Film & TV productions are now? Do you feel that they are becoming more diverse?

Yes, I think so. They're getting there. They are getting there but it's extremely slow. It took over 20 years.

Yeah. And I think it's you know, I get...this might make me sound racist, I don't know. But sometimes I get turned off when all I see is just white people on a show and I'm like, “Oh, another one. Another one,” because I look around Australia and Australia is a very diverse place. You know, you've got people from all over the world here in Australia. And it's amazing and gorgeous and beautiful and the relationships that we all have because of the diversity and then you go on to television and you just see this really...

Whitewash

I'm not gonna say whitewash...

But I can ‘cause I am white, its one dimensional bullshit.

Yeah. It's just kind of like the same stories over and over, and, you know, there's no diverse perspective that you're getting from Australian Film & TV. I'm saddened that your son doesn't get more rolls because they're over 10,000 Americans that live here. I don't know how many Canadians live here. But you know, our accents aren't that far apart from each other.

They're very similar until they start saying "going out."

Yeah, that's right. There are places in America if you get along the border, that American/ Canadian border where they all have the same accent. America is just as diverse in accents as the UK. Well, maybe not as much as the UK. The UK is crazy. But America is just as diverse in its accents. And just because, you know, we don't all sound exactly the same coming from America. And I think there's a tonne of us here. There's a tonne of diversity here in Australia, and I feel that it needs to be reflected in our Film & TV.

I agree. Hey, Jennifer, what's your favourite wine?

Church Block.

Church Block? Nice. Red or white?

Red. I'm actually on my alcohol fasting. I do it every year.

Oh! Tell us about that.

Every year, I don't touch alcohol for six months.

Six months?

Well, we're not hanging out until you are done.

That's not...no...wait a minute. Okay. Wait, wait, wait. So, you spend half a year fasting? That's half a year.

That's a long time [general mumbles and laughter]. Why do you do that?

Just to get my body back and rejuvenate.

Okay, how much do you drink in the other six months?

[Laughter] That's a different podcast.

[Laughter] Well this is Wine & Sympathy.

I'm sympathizing with you. What are you three months in? What, do you start on New Year's and then just go through to June or July?

Well actually, no. I was supposed to start after New Year's, but at the time I was still overseas stuck in a hotel. So what else can you do in a hotel room?

MINIBAR!

And then you get to the sky lounge. I started, actually...I came home in January. So once I finished my bottle of gin that I brought back, I thought okay, that's it. Six months it is. So I've got until July.

Oh, that's a long time.

So, I'll come over in July and we'll have...you can make your favourite dish...

Or we’ll have you over to do another podcast.

She is a really good cook.

Yeah. While drunk!

I will drink while you cook for me, that sounds like a plan.

I love how Ness just invites herself over, “And you will do the cooking. Thank you.” [Laughter]

I love to cook, she knows that.

That's awesome. Well, our podcast equipment is mobile so it can go anywhere.

So you just invited yourself? [Laughter]

BOTH

[Laughter] I sure did. Oh, well, I invited Jen to do another podcast.

End of July, hopefully we'll be allowed to have gatherings then.

Gosh, how are you coping during this crazy COVID-19 time?

I'm okay, um, it gives me time. I've cleaned the house several times over. Every morning, I don't know why, I just, every morning, I disinfect every door handle. (mumbles of agreement) I catch myself and what are you doing? There's no one else here, you haven’t left the house.

Oh but it's good. You never know, germs can just, you know, it's like osmosis or something...

We've been...we've been okay. We've been okay. We’ve just been laying low. PJ is...I'm helping PJ write his script. A script idea that he has, because he wants to film it. So I said, “Okay, well let's just...we've got plenty of time to write it.”

Got any roles for two 40 year old women? One called Asabi. One called Ness.

Hey? [Laughter] Write us in. Write us in as 30 somethings. [Laughter]

Ha ha - early 30s, thank you, and all the 40s women come. So, anyway, we've been doing that and I’ve been gardening. I've been cooking a lot. Honestly, if I was drinking and cooking the way I've been, I need a liposuction at the end of this covid!

Oh my god! What’s your favourite...What’s your favourite thing to cook?

Japanese.

Japanese food. I love Japanese food. Chawanmushi is probably my favourite Japanese dish. Do you know that dish?

No.

It’s like an egg custard and it has a little bit of vegetables in it.

It’s a dessert?

No. It’s not a dessert.

It’s weird.

What?

You said egg custard.

Yeah. It's delicious. It's actually very savoury. It's very savoury. And it has a little roasted chestnut in the middle. It's kind of like hidden in the middle. Yeah, it's my favourite, favourite Japanese dish. And yeah, it's great. You can't get it outside of Japan.

We can't have any nuts in the house.

Nut allergies?

Oh no, that's sad.

Full on nut allergies.

Yeah, that's hectic. Do you have an epi pen, because I love hitting people with needles. That's another podcast.

That is a very different podcast. [Laughter]

Yeah. We have an epi pen in every room, so we're good. We've got that covered.

Oh that’s good. Nice, nice. Alright, so we're gonna finish up here. But I'm going to have a beautiful photo of you on our Facebook page.

Yes.

...and some links to your Insta and your Facebook. And we're going to check in again in a couple of months’ time, actually in six months when you're cooking for us, because I wanna know, I mean, you're only just stepping back into the spotlight, so to speak. I want to know how you go. This is really fascinating for me, and obviously, I love you. And I just think it's really important that, as females, that we stay connected, and we lift each other up and support one another. And I do support you 100%.

Yeah. Thank you so much for having a chat with us. Yeah, and we definitely look forward to seeing all that you have coming up.

Thank you. Thanks for having me, guys. That was fun.

It was improv!

But we are actors, that's right. Improv. Yeah. [Laughter]

What happened to method acting?

Oh, well, you know. [Laughter] I think we're always method acting.

Yeah, I think that went away when we had a glass of wine!

I think we become method actors.

Alright. Thanks very much to our wine sponsors this evening. Me.

ALL

[Laugh]

Thanks a lot to Jennifer Holt for being part of Wine & Sympathy.

Thanks, Jennifer.

Bye bye!

[END]

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