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crepezinhos · 8 days

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Anti-Stress

(Kazuha Smut)

POV: It’s 2022 and Kazuha and a friend are celebrating the final game of the year’s World Cup by betting quantities of money that are extremely high to you but low to them. But suddenly, the game suddenly takes a turn in less than two minutes in the second half of it and Kazuha is beginning to feel stressed and worried about losing the bet. To solve that, he uses you to de-stress.

⚠️ WARNINGS:

— Kazuha is not the greenest flag here

— Reader uses SHE/HER pronouns

— Contains mentions of sex work

— Possible TW for patriotic French people

“Kaedehara Kazuha!” The man screams inside the room as he heard you open the door for Kazuha and you to get in.

He was sat down in one of the only two sofas in the room with open arms and a just-blown cigarette in his hand, welcoming Kazuha like a good old friend.

You and Kazuha were in a private room at the top floor of a soccer stadium. There were many other rooms like this in made for the players’ guests or rich people like your employer, Kaedehara Kazuha. One of the walls of the room is entirely a window which had a great vision of the camp and of some of the common fans in the public seats of the staium. You could hear all their muffled, excited screams and cheering of anticipation. It was the final game of 2022’s World Cup and you weren’t excited at all even if this game mattered a lot for the whole world.

You just stood there with your high heels in the closest corner to the door so you could watch the game even if it isn’t your favorite thing. You wished you could sit too because you knew those heels would begin to hurt at some point, but your posture really mattered as a secretary, especially when other people were seeing you work.

“Mr. Harukami!” Kazuha greeted a little less excited, walking at his direction with slightly open arms. “I apologize for my tardiness, it was difficult to find the private parking slots.” Kazuha answered while sitting down at the other empty sofa.

“No, no, I get it, it was difficult for me too.” The man replied, blowing his cigarette right afterwards for a brief moment, which made him realize your presence in the room. “Who is the girl?” He asked, some smoke got out of his mouth.

“She’s my secretary, why? Do you feel bothered by her presence?” Kazuha replied for you.

“No, not at all. I just wasn’t expecting you to bring anyone to watch you lose.” Mr. Harukami joked, making Kazuha chuckle.

“I actually brought her to watch you lose.” Kazuha joked back. “But in all seriousness, I would’ve not find the private parking slots if it wasn’t for her, so please, let her relax in this chilly room.” Kazuha showed you off. “Thank you again, Y/N.” He turned to your direction to thank your efforts and you just nodded back.

You find weird how Kazuha always presents you as this gift from God, a prodigious woman wasting her potential being common worker, but technically there’s no bad sides to it so you never felt like asking him to stop with it. And indeed, due to Kazuha’s job, you work hard every day, responding stupid e-mails, scheduling meetings and the company’s agenda… you deserve to be recognized by him and his other colleagues.

“Well then, she’s more than welcome to stay. Good secretaries are an underrated privilege.” Mr. Harukami complimented as he grabbed his packet of cigarettes out of pocket. “Want a ciggie?” He offered Kazuha, who nodded his head in denial.

“No, thank you.”

“Well then, how much are you betting again?” He said while blowing a second cigarette.

“Unfortunately, I’m not betting as much as our last matches, Harukami. Final games are already a big pressure to everyone… the players, the spectators, the betters, so I don’t to worsen it. 20.000 dollars in Argentina.”

“20.000? I thought you were more courageous than that…” The man chuckled at Kazuha’s bet.

“I’m also betting an extra 5.000 on Di Maria scoring. How about you?”

“50.000, France.”

“Wow! You really are into it, aren’t you?”

“Sure am… Oh! There they are…” Mr. Harukami said excited as soon as a very loud music begun to play outside in the stadium, which was thankfully censored by the glass wall of the room.

And both men finally begun to pay attention at the game about the start and the announcer speaking in the radio in the table.

But unfortunately, your peace in that little corner would soon end.

“Y/N, do you mind getting me and Mr. Harukami more wine?” Kazuha asked to you a little anxious and still in his seat as he grabbed both glasses to hand it to you.

“Yes, sir.” You responded even if serving him like a maid wasn’t your job and begun walking to other side of the room where was a fridge.

It was the beginning of second half of the game now and Argentina had scored twice, which was making Kazuha feel comfortable unlike Mr. Harukami. But for some reason Mbappé, from France, managed to score twice in less than 2 minutes which made Kazuha unstick his back from the comfy sofa and begin watch the game seriously. In worry of losing his 20.000 dollars, he begun to involuntarily drink sips of wine more frequently, which made his glass become empty in seconds. Even you got a little invested in the game but was interrupted by Kazuha’s order.

You came back with both glasses in your hands filled with a fair amount of wine, serving them from behind to not call their attention.

“You look uneasy, Kazuha. Are you scared of Mbappé turning this game around?”

“Yes, I will not lie. As long as I’m a huge fan of Messi, this is his last game… he’s become old. Mbappé is a young, talented player.” Kazuha replied, laying down at his chair again as he sighed, involuntarily realizing that you something was behind him. He took a look behind him and met you zoning out to pay attention at the game, making him chuckle.

“Do you like the game, Y/N?” He asked with a cute smirk in his face.

“It is getting quite interesting, sir.” You replied, putting both your arms behind your back and holding your own left wrist.

“Why don’t you sit down, dear? Your legs must hurting from those heels. Come on.” He suggested while tapping at his right leg with his hand, making you feel confused at his orders.

He was tapping his lap. He wants you to sit there?

“I’m fine, sir, and I believe there are no more places for me to si—”

“I insist, Y/N.” He interrupted, still with that smirk in his face but his voice got demanding.

Still confused with his intentions, you nodded in response and walked to the direction of his right leg, where you sat down. As soon as you did that, you felt Kazuha’s hands instantly hug your waist from behind and pulling you the closest to him he could. You two were so close to each other that you were able to hear his normal-paced breathing blowing bits of wind behind your ear. You thought that position was awkward but Kazuha was acting like it was the most normal thing ever. And that’s how you stayed in his lap for some peaceful minutes until the ball suddenly managed to be kicked all the way close to Argentina’s goal. You heard Kazuha sigh in worry but something else bothered you. A sudden touch of the same hand he used to hug your body slowly attempting to slide under your tight black skirt, making you slightly gasp and hold his wrist down.

“What are you doing?” You whispered, looking at him in pure confusion.

“I just want to enjoy this beautiful woman in my lap.” He replied with a smirk, seeing that you got annoyed with his perversion, gently cuddling your waist with his thumb.

“Kazuha, we’re not in a safe spot nor alone.” You protested, trying to get out of his lap but you were instantly pulled back to his lap.

“Don’t worry, Y/N. Mr. Harukami won’t pay attention to us and these windows are fully black in the vision of whoever is outside, that’s why it has this darker effect for us. No one can see us, not the cameras nor the people. I promise I’ll make it up to you, my dear, but this game is getting on my nerves and you are irresistable in this uniform.” Kazuha whispered with his nose barely going inside your ear, showing a bit of his stress as his hands slid under your skirt.

“Kazuha..!” You called out, with no good argument to use against him even if you still were reluctant.

“Yes… just keep saying my name and I’ll make sure this will be quick.” He chuckled in your ear as you felt his managing to go all the way down and touch the tip of his fingers in your clothed entrance, beginning to tease by cuddling it up and down.

You moaned out and your hips flickered from the tickle and slight pleasure it gave you. Your other hand moved to Kazuha’s left leg, to squeeze it and push yourself upwards whenever he accidentally touched a soft spot. He was miring you very attentively, very amused by your noises and face. So as soon as you and him started to feel your underwear getting slightly wet from his bare touch and your cheeks go pink, Kazuha began to move his hand upwards to slide it under your panties.

“W-Wait..! Not there—!” You tried protesting again but Kazuha managed to touch your clit before you could finish, making you moan in agony and stop complaining for a moment.

Kazuha chuckled at your reaction and kissed your cheek passionately before he begun to pay attention at the game again like he wasn’t playing with a woman’s pussy at the same time. His face was completely normal aside from his usual smirk, eyes locked in the ball as his fingers did wonders at your pussy.

You could feel Mr. Harukami’s gaze sometimes mire your embarrassing situarion whenever your moans got too high.

“Well… this is definitely something new to my eyes, but don’t worry, I’m not complaining.” You hoped that would be the only comment you’d ever hear from Mr. Harukami in the moment.

What Kazuha was doing to you was so embarrassing, finger-fucking you in front of another man and possibly to many cameras, but why the fuck his fingers made you feel so good? Kazuha wasn’t even getting hard meanwhile you were screaming like a dog in heat for his fingers going halfway in and out from your swollen pussy. Even if there was air conditioning in the room, your body was quickly getting really heated from the tense of sex and very easily too, making you become sweaty, your cheeks go pink and the makeup in your eyes begin to crumble from the amounts of slight tears and your strong blinks from agony of being teased.

“Aaand… GOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAL! MBAPPÉ SCORES AGAIN!” The announcer in the radio in the table between the chairs announced again meanwhile the whole left side of stadium outside, where the France cheerers were, went wild.

Kazuha sighed very hard but you felt him suddenly press your clit with 2 fingers way too hard, making your body entirely flinch and a scream escape your mouth.

“Ah! Kazuha! Don—” You screamed out, looking at him behind you annoyed but Kazuha was quick to suddenly take his hand away from your clit and shove his 2 wet fingers in your mouth as his other hand moved to your clit to replace the other one’s job.

“As long as I really enjoy your moans, I need you to be quiet now, ok? You can bite my fingers or squeeze my legs if you need to scream.” He whispered in your ear very calmly but you could feel his stress taking over his usual playful tone and changing the way he aggressively thrusted your pussy.

His fingers in your mouth were also pounding inside it, wanting to be fully sucked and taken by your mouth to censor your distracting noises. You hated how pathetic you looked, choking and drooling in his fingers in front of a window but he was making you feel so good that you didn’t care, you just wanted to fulfill your pussy until it reached a nice orgasm.

“Kazuha, please..!” You whimpered, looking at his face, pulling his hand out of your mouth using your right hand and all your remaining energy. Kazuha smirked in amusement of hearing you call his name so desperately but didn’t even bother to pay attention to you.

“You promise to be quiet, dear?” He whispered again, still more focused in the game than your teasing, fucked-out face.

“Yes!” You whispered highly, making Kazuha chuckle in pride of having you acting so slutty to him.

But still, the same hand he was using inside your mouth was moved back to your waist, crawling it inside your white social shirt and then under your bra, pushing your bra upwards and painting your body with your own saliva in the way. He stopped when he had his palm right on top of your right nipple. His hands begun to slowly pinch it and rotate it in rhythm of his finger thrusts, making you throw your head back in agony. But to obey his previous orders, you rushed a hand to slap your own mouth shut.

The way he played your nipples was making you go insane. You could feel it slightly wet from the saliva that remained on his hand, and just wanted more. You wanted him to squeeze them until they were red-marked, you wanted his dick shoved all the way down in your pussy, you wanted the real thing, but you couldn’t have it. That agony of being tortuously fulfilled made some tears begun to form in your eyes. You tried your best to not let them fall but some of them just couldn’t be held. Your makeup must be looking terrible now, and Kazuha liked the mess he was making of you. His smirk grew wider as he felt a tear coincidentally drop in the hand messing with your hard nipple.

“Kazuha… I’m gonna cum…” You whispered as low as you could, making Kazuha change the way he played with your breast to begin squeezing it and moving it around just like you desired.

It was like he had read your dirty mind. You had to make extra strength in your mouth to not let your scream out as you felt the contrast of his cold hand with your warm, sweaty breast mass.

“Cum all around me, my love.” He ordered, beginning to play with both parts of your bodies quicker than ever.

You wish you could lay your hand on top of Kazuha’s hand and help him to make you reach your orgasm quicker, but you rathered to not disobey his orders. It felt embarrassing to have your whole body twitching and worming right on top of your own boss. His chest and legs felt like a warm pillow, like your face would suddenly just burry in his chest as he toys you infinitely. Your legs were fully spread away at this point, trying to not get dirty by your wetness and begging to be fulfilled. Your hips were trying its best to move upwards to somehow free yourself from his fingers, but Kazuha’s arms felt too strong and hard for your little, wobbly body. Even if you wished that orgasm more than anything, you knew it would hurtful and a lot due to the torture it’s being to reach it. But being edged would be worse, wouldn’t it? If that's how Kazuha makes you feel with a single round, you don't feel like being edged multiple times by his fingers.

Suddenly, you felt your whole body collapse and your breath get caught in your throat. That was it, the moment of release of all that painful, overwhelming pleasure he gave in these 20 minutes. Your mouth was barely ripped apart by your own hands from your own effort on shutting it up and you brought your legs and knees together again, trying to contain the agony of cumming and smashing Kazuha’s hand even if it wasn’t doing anything to torture your sensible pussy anymore and letting you cream his fingers. As soon as you finally stopped making any kind of force, he pulled you back to where you were in his lap and leaned to your ear again.

“Thank you, I feel a lot better.” He complimented as he took his creamy, white fingers off your pussy and licked the juices leaked around them precisely.

He pulled out a tissue from his pocket with his other hand and begun drying his fingers. Right after cleaning himself, his both his hands began to roam around your body to fix your clothes back to normal like you were a doll in a girl's hand. You would be looking normal again if your cheeks weren’t pink, and sweaty, your mouth breathy, your makeup slightly ruined and your soul obviously defeated.

“Seems like we have 2 minutes before the initial timer ends.” Mr. Harukami finally spoke up after those very awkward minutes of silence.

This entire time after Mbbapé’s goal, there was no other goal from both teams.

“Would you like to stand up to watch the final penalties better?” Kazuha asked Mr. Harukami while curling a piece of your hair, assuming that there would be final penalties to decide the game’s winner.

“Of course, I believe I should’ve rented another room… this one doesn’t have the best angle of the goals.” Mr. Harukami commented as he got up.

“Oh, don’t worry Mr. Harukami, the game is still pleasant.” Kazuha said as he grabbed your body and made you stand up for a quick moment just for him to switch your positions and place you back at his spot in the sofa as he grabbed his glass of wine you had filled before. You felt like your entire pressure had dropped to zero when he pulled you up, which made a quick pain in head show up as soon as your body relaxed in the sofa again.

“Rest now.” He asked as he pat your head gently and kissed your forehead before walking away to watch the game from the closest view.

In the next few minutes, you just breathed in and out like a brainless worm until you finally begun to come back to reality again. And… you were mad. Literally how dare he? How dare he treat like a doll? Like a prostitute? Did Kazuha really need to do what he did to you? In front of a man you didn’t know? Was he going to keep doing things like this to you without any kind of prize or money for it? In annoyance, you finally leaned up to a normal sitting position and crossed both your arms and legs in stress, anger and embarrassment, just waiting for Kazuha to notice it and realize he made a mistake in understimating you.

“Well then… I believe this is the end of this year’s World Cup.” Kazuha joked and chuckled at the same time as the crowd in white and blue shirts started to scream with all the strength in their throats.

“Very funny, Kazuha.” He said stressed at Kazuha’s satiric behavior even if it was hypocritical of him.

“So… how are you going to pay me?” Kazuha asked as he drunk a sip of his wine.

“In cash, I’ll have it at your door by tomorrow.” He offered.

“I hope you do, Mr. Harukami. It’s 50.000 in total but spending some time with you is more valuable to me.” Kazuha joked as he finally turned to you again, offering a hand for you to get up.

You looked back at him dead in the eye and completely ignored his gentleness by getting up by your own and walking towards the door to open and hold ir for him.

“Well, I have to agree that today was definitely fun, especially how you de-stress yourself. I might even take the hint to myself.” He commented with a smirk, glazing at you for quick moment with a certain hunger, making you feel even angrier at Kazuha.

Indeed, Kazuha had noticed your displeasure but for now he decided to pretend it didn’t exist and just chuckled at Mr. Harukami’s indirect message for you.

“I would recommend it, Mr. Haru—”

“Sir.” You called Kazuha out during his moment, which could’ve been very risky to your job.

Kazuha turned to you a little surprised at your actions but still took the message, quickly changing his pace in grabbing his stuff.

“Well then, I guess we’ll bat again in the next Olympics?” Kazuha asked as he stepped in your direction but still looking at Mr. Harukami.

“For sure, Kaedehara. Now go, I have some calls to do.” Mr. Harukami agreed with a certain anticipation as he pulled his phone out of his pocket. “See you at January’s convention in China!” He waved before you finally closed the door very carefully.

You begun to walk pretty quickly, taking the lead for no reason at all. And after some embarrassing seconds of walking in a really long corridor with your making loud noises each step, Kazuha finally spoke up.

“Are you angry, Y/N?” Kazuha asked, accelerating his steps to reach you.

“Yes sir, I am.” You replied, involuntarily letting some of your anger out.

“I apologize, Y/N.” He said and you finally stopped walking because you two had arrived at the elevators, pressing the button to go down before turning to him very confidently.

“You can’t just keep using me like this! If that’s all you see and want in me, I believe I shouldn’t be your secretary anymore!” You confessed how you felt, letting more of your anger leave.

“Now, now, let’s not skip so many steps.” He said, trying to get you to calm down as he stepped a little closer to you. You wish he wasn’t that confident too or that you could authority to stop him from getting close to you, but you couldn’t. So you only kept immobile, challenging him with your own body. “That is definitely not how I see you, Y/N.” He confesses, finally taking the situation as serious as it is. “You are one of the most interesting women I’ve ever met.” He complimented with a tiny smirk.

“Of course I am, I let you fuck me for free!” You joked with yourself.

“Oh, Y/N, that’s definitely not my main interest in you. You’re still a mysterious woman for me even if we’ve been together for a year and it deeply pains me. Luckily, we’re both adults, we can both have sex as we wish to. This is just the easy way for me to learn more about you, but I want to learn so much more…” He confessed and one of the elevators opened upon arrival.

“What do you want to learn about me so bad, Kazuha?” You asked, thinking he was joking as you walked in the elevator.

You aren’t rich, talented or the prettiest woman Kazuha knows. What could he possibly like in you?

Unfortunately, you decided to lean yourself against a wall with your arms crossed. So as soon as Kazuha pressed the “G” button in the table, he leaned closer to you until your foreheads were touching, his hands holding the handrail by your side. You were cornered.

“You’re a sexy, independent, intelligent and precise woman… always working hard to make my life more peaceful, better and entertaining. But unfortunately, you always restricted us to our professional relationship, so I never got to know too much. I know who your parents and siblings are but I don’t know why you have a bad relationship with them or what happened on that one phone call, remember? Where you were saying that you didn’t want to pay it? I was dying of curiosity but you still didn’t let me help you out. You’ve been edging me just like I edged you in that sofa, but for months. I know you can clearly see my burning with desire for you, Y/N. This isn’t the first time I got you embarrassed like this.” Kazuha confessed, leaving you speechless as the elevator shakes for a quick moment and the doors opened again.

“Parking lots.” The robotic female voice stated.

But both of you stood there for many seconds, and just like Kazuha mentioned, you can feel him burning in desire of bringing your lips together and fuck you like an animal right at that exact wall.

“Well, I definitely did not expect this.” You confessed with a smirk growing in your face too, making Kazuha just more amused with you. “That day, Kaedehara Kazuha, my parents wanted me to pay a debt they’ve caused by themselves in a casino. I’ve always warned them to not go there, but they didn’t listen. I didn’t only want you to not know I came out of those hags but I also didn’t want you to waste your money in them.”

“So protective of me…” He teased.

“It's my job... don't take it personally." You teased back. "But... I'm gonna trust you, Kazuha. Even if you have a lot of work to do to redeem all those make-out sessions we've done where you didn't even bother to prize me for.” You threatened jokingly, curling a piece of his hair in your fingers.

“Oh, I will… in fact, want me to work some of it out in the backseats right now?” He challenged and you stared at him for some seconds before chuckling at his desperation to savor you.

“Sure.” You said, finally pushing your way out of his prison gently, edging him yet another time. "Come on, boss." You said, stopping right at the door and leaning your body against the metal door, holding it for his passage in a very sensual pose.

"You're gonna regret being this naughty." He whispered in your ear with his usual calm voice as he walked out of the elevator following the direction of his car.

But you could feel it. He can't hide it from you.

It being his lust for you.

#genshin impact #smut #genshin smut #kazuha #kaedehara kazuha #genshin x reader #genshin kazuha #kazuha x reader #world cup

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rukafais · 8 months

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Baby Dinin expressions for @harukami . He's just a little guy....

#dinin do'urden #legend of drizzt #rukart

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eschergirls · 6 days

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It's been 2 weeks so it's time to choose the May caption contest winners!

I got a lot of entries this month and they were all really excellent. One of the entries by zombiemollusk even edited the text into the text bubble (the image attached to this post). So it was hard to choose winners. Because of all the entries, I decided to choose 3 winners and 2 runner ups. .

Each winner will get to choose a prize if they wish (but you don't have to, you can just participate for fun too.) The prizes are extra Steam codes that I've acquired through bundles over the years and I figure that giving them out for contests would be fun. Runner ups can get a prize if any of the winners decline

Anyway here are the entries, grouped by the platform they were submitted on:

Fedi/Mastodon:

Charles T: - C'mon, we need to keep rehearsing for Dancing With The Mutants! - ugh, could you dance me over to a bucket? May Keable: Based on the recent TikTok trend I said ”Stick ’em up everybody, I’m robbing this place Drop all of your money in my guitar case Don’t nobody move and don’t nobody reach for that door" Ordinating Aether Show: - It is done! With this new development, they can no longer ignore my work! - You mean...? - Yes! I've created characters that are flatter than their speech bubbles! Taco Blacc: "I'm glad I finally got my Horny Sword" "...but I didn't expect it to be this big! And flexible!

Disqus:

Imry: I'm gonna fix that stiff back one way or another! Extreme Swedish Massage Attack!!! Leak: Left bubble: "This girl..." Right bubble: "Needs more DAKKA!" MaryKaye: Copper-hair girl: Engage battering ram mode! Girl in red: OMG they *told* me not to wear a red shirt!

Tumblr:

@anna-neko: calm my tits? No! Here we lock and loading them glorious missiles @avatarrubybelladonna: "Hey, c'mon! I thought you loved being the baseball bat!" @beforelunacy: DAMMIT BRENDA! I told you not to go through the perfume department!! @chasedbybuildings: 'I'm gonna pull your legs off! Mine are all wonky and I need a new pair!' @chaoscheebs: EXTREEEEEEEEEEEME SWING DANCING! @differenttriumphdragon: Go Go Gadget Cleavage Gun! @dm-me-your-weltanschauung: Balloon One: Watch closely class, this is a right angle. Balloon Two: Next we'll be demonstrating the obtuse and acute angles. @harukami: Carrying a teammate's body is hard enough without the rigor mortis! @ichaserabbits: Just turn me sideways and use me like a battering ram @insanityisfine: I'll beat that motherfucker with this motherfucker! @milkawa-and-co: "I know you're new at this job, but stop throwing around the clothes mannequins !" @terminatedapathy: "Stop! Stop swimming in mid air! You're scaring the hoes!" @twilight-owl: "Why would anyone make a mannequin in this pose! It can't even stand up!" @zombiemollusk: "Heave... ... HO!!!" "who are you calling a h- WOAH!"

The honorable mentions go to: @dm-me-your-weltanschauung and Leak!

The runner-ups are:

In third place: @anna-neko: calm my tits? No! Here we lock and loading them glorious missiles

In second place: @differenttriumphdragon: Go Go Gadget Cleavage Gun!

And the winner is... @zombiemollusk: "Heave... ... HO!!!" "who are you calling a h- WOAH!"

Congratulations to the winners and also thank you so much to everybody who participated!

Please stay tuned for a new caption contest in June!

If you won and would like a Steam code as a prize, please message me with which prize you would like. If you came in 2nd, message me with 2 choices in order of preference... I'll give you your top choice that hadn't been taken by the other winners. (To clarify, every winner only gets 1 prize, but winners other than the one in first place should give me their list of games in order of preference so if one is taken, I'll give you the next on the list. It makes it easier for me to hand out the prizes.)

If either the winner or the runner up don't claim a prize, then the honorable mention gets a prize if they want one.

The Steam codes I have available as prizes are for: Castle Crashers, Hotel Giant 2, Latte Stand Tycoon +, Rage in Peace, Riot: Civil Unrest, Shattered - Tale of the Forgotten Kings, Steel Storm: Burning Retribution, The Hong Kong Massacre, Trifox, and Uncertain: Light At The End.

#sexualized in defeat #WTF clothing #madelyne pryor #madelyne pyre #Jena Pyre #Jean Grey #The Phoenix [Marvel Comics]#caption contest #caption contest winners

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mllelaurel · 1 year

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So, by sheer coincidence/the fact that I like D&D, I appear to have half the Legend of Drizzt fandom on my dash. This is me waving to people before I go back into my introvert hidey-cave.

As you might guess, this has resulted in a critical and hilarious level of fandom osmosis. Enough I got curious about canon. Thanks to @harukami for recs!

Since I don’t care about chronological continuity (oh the spoilers I have!) and am rather focusing on ‘what’s most likely to get me invested,’ I will be starting with Servant of the Shard and Starlight Enclave. And fortunately, my local library provides e-books of both.

I started Servant of the Shard on the train today. Please enjoy my impressions so far, viewed through a filter of shit I have osmosed which may or may not be correct.

Cut for... spoilers on a book from the oughts? (And also Out of the Abyss, a module I have not even played.) Affectionate snark? Blatantly incorrect assumptions about everything? Who knows?

Please understand that when I henceforth refer to Artemis Entreri as a wee little bastard disaster man, I say it with deep affection. This human bundle of neuroses is every one of my stupid character pings.

So... when Entreri muses that he’s losing his edge and stealth as an assassin, is that even a reasonable assessment? Or is he being a deeply unreliable narrator? Because my osmotic impression of his stealthy and cunning schemes before this point goes something like this:

Step 1: Kidnap an hobbit

Step 2: Tie him to the railroad tracks I can only assume

Step 3: Wait for Drizzt to show up

Step 4: ...

Step 5: Profit?

---

Dwahvel deserves to be paid $150 an hour and have a diploma she paid $30k a semester for. But like the rest of us psych majors, she is listening to a troubled dumbass talk out his shit for free. At least buy her a pizza, Entreri!

---

One sparring scene in, and Entreri’s inner monologue has referred to Jarlaxle as ‘handsome’ and ‘compelling.’

...Harold....

---

There’s a guy named Bourguignon in this book. Well, Berg’inyon. But with an evil crystal that sounds an awful lot like Cinnabon, I’m wondering if Bob was hungry when he wrote this. Like. Does Bergie have a sister named Boeuf? Did Jarlaxle’s mom just give up on names after her first couple of kids? Like. She named the two best-known ones ‘Jarlaxle’ and ‘Gromph.’

Gromph is an inherently funny name. I understand Out of the Abyss is like 80% his fault. Because I’m bad at avoiding spoilers. I wonder how PCs feel about this. All your woes can be laid at the feet of a guy named Gromph. I’m getting off-topic.

---

On a more serious and intriguing level, I find it kind of fascinating that the Crenshinbon is supposedly created not (just) out of blah blah blah eeeevil, but out of a guy’s futile desire to protect his people. Given its conjunction with Jarlaxle, who has a recurring theme of failing to protect those he cares about, whether due to circumstantial tragedy or his own moments of carelessness or callousness (Zak, Entreri, his hold on the Bregan D’earthe feeling occasionally tenuous)... What I’m saying is, this feels resonant.

Stay tuned for more not-quite-live-blogging!

#legend of drizzt

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sleepyowlwrites · 2 years

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I, too, aspire to write like Gail Neiman or Maruki Harukami

#sleepy stuff #coffee talk

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biichama · 1 year

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Between the two of us, @harukami and I have persuaded @rukafais to read Valdemar aka the romantic fantasy series that adolescent bii devoured like popcorn in the 90s.

What have we done?

#heralds of valdemar #i wrote up a reading order and everything #this probably means i should catch up on the five i haven't read before ruka gets to them #i never read the other two herald spies or the family spy but in my defense i had mags fatigue

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sirthisisa-wendys · 2 years

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Play By the Rules (Part 7): Ken Ryuguji x Fem!Reader

created by @sirthisisa-wendys and @thehypestdeano

synopsis: new job, new problems. mo' money, mo' problems. it's the same old, same old in Brahman. For now.

wc: 1k

tw: fluff

previous part 📝 masterlist 📝 next part

"So..."

Draken stands with his forehead against the bathroom door, his arms crossed as he tries to focus on the chipping paint, not your figure in the mirror as you worm your way out of your previous get-up.

"Listen, I'm sorry I ran off the other day," you begin, clearing your throat. "I just felt overwhelmed."

"I get that," Draken breathes, trying his hardest not to take a little peek at your body as you pull on your street clothes. "It's no problem."

"Just... for the record, I have horrible anxiety."

"Yeah, I understand."

"Sometimes I get triggered and--" Draken wants to echo that he knows how that feels, that he's carried the crushing weight of the world a few times himself, but he lets you talk. He'd rather hear about your pain anyways. "--anyways, thanks for being so understanding about everything." You pause, then place a hand on his shoulder. Draken almost flinches at the contact, but he calms his nerves enough to accept the gesture of friendliness.

"You said someone wanted to see me about my... new job?"

"Right," Draken grunts, composing himself and turning around. "Accounts."

"Accounts?" you wonder, but Draken shrugs.

"Don't know much about the cash flow around here - it's not what they pay me to do. But I assume they'll fill you in on the details and see if you're interested."

"Why would Brahman need me to handle their money? I'm just a nobody."

"The guys don't seem to think so. You appear to know how to be frugal and handle your money when necessary. And your current position can be filled, no sweat." Draken opens the door to the bathroom, and you give him a smile while chuckling low under your breath.

"You're saying they don't have anyone balancing the books right now?"

"No one they trust," Draken chuckles. "Takeomi is horrible with the books."

Scritch, scritch, scritch.

Numbers to add.

Tap, tap, tap, tap.

Accounts to settle.

"Send someone to collect what's left on the loan for E. Harukami. He's fifteen days late on his payment."

Debts to pay.

You sit at the desk in the high rise, taking momentary glances out of the window as you begin to rebalance the books in front of you. Your predecessor seemed to be a slob - not really caring for the timeframe in which debts needed to be paid or where the money came from. A constant cash flow with no verifiable source... not the kind of money gangs should be dealing with when doing underground business.

"You're nine million yen in the red," you state to the men in front of you. "There's a leaky faucet somewhere. It's almost as if you all spent enough money to fund tuition to an American college."

"I didn't do that," Takeomi grumbles, his cigarette dangling from his lips.

"It's coming from someplace," you state softly, looking back down at your totals.

"Have you checked all of the accounts associated with the various clubs?" Waka states, looking at Keizo before looking back at you. "Might have some money hidden around there; haven't been doing shakedowns regularly."

You look back through the various accounts in the book, then lean back in your chair. "Whoever you send to do shakedowns obviously isn't doing them well enough."

"That'll be remedied," Keizo grunts, nodding. "Maybe then we can get some real cash flow."

It's almost midnight when you begin to pack up. As you walk through the halls of Brahman's hideout, you spot one light still on, one room still occupied. You hear Draken's voice filtering through when you pass by the cracked door.

"Listen, I'm just calling to give you a head's up; there isn't much I can do except tell you to get your things in order." You knock twice on the door before peeking inside and seeing Draken sitting at a small table, his face screwed up in concentration. When he sees you, his dark eyes soften, and he checks his watch. "Hey, I gotta go. Talk to you later."

"Night owl, huh?" you wonder, leaning against the door frame. Draken places his phone face-down on the table and smirks at you.

"I'd say the same for you." There's a brief pause before Draken stands, placing his hands in his pockets before walking around the desk. "Are you... enjoying the new job?"

"It has its perks," you muse, smiling. "I get a nice desk and a view. It's not as exciting as being your ride along, but it's a little less stressful." Draken nods.

"I understand..."

You want to reassure Draken that everything's fine, that you're fine, and he's fine in your book. But your mouth can't seem to open to deliver any words.

"Listen, I--"

"I should--"

You both stop talking just as you started, chuckling shyly before you shrug. "You go first."

"No, it's fine. You're probably going to say something more important." Draken replies. You inhale deeply, then try your best to find the words again.

"I need to thank you for being so... chill," you begin. "You're really cool, and I don't think I could have asked for a nicer person to work with when I poached with you."

"That's really sweet," Draken murmurs. "Too bad I've had better ride-alongs."

"Really?" you ask, shocked.

"I'm kidding," he answers, turning around to grab his phone. "Plus, now that we're not working together, I don't have to pretend to not like rock music while I'm driving anymore."

"You could've listened to it," you toss back, rolling your eyes. "You were trying to impress me with your smooth jazz and R&B, weren't you?"

"And if I was?"

"You wouldn't try to impress me," you scoff. "There's no reason to."

"But what if there was?" Draken wonders, frowning. "What if I did want to impress you?" Your mouth dries up, and Draken takes a step forward, looking at you seriously. "What would you say then?"

"I would..." You try to swallow, but nothing comes as Draken steps forward again, his eyes questioning. "I would say..."

"What would you say?" he whispers, leaning forward and brushing a thumb across your bottom lip.

"I would... say... okay..." you breathe as your lips crash into Draken's for the first time, but for what feels like the millionth time.

#ken ryuguji x reader #tokyo revengers #tokyo revengers x reader #ken ryuguji

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yuuxhan · 8 months

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Yuri Harukami

These are headcanons of my OC for my commissions or anyone who wants to know her!

(Also for me to remember… ehe😋)

Yuri is my main OC, I use her for everything and I shove her into different anime/situations for my own comfort.

I hold Yuri very close to my heart, I will defend her with everything I’ve got.. so please, if you have comments that are not nice, refrain from saying them please. Thank you.

(This is also why my name is Yuri lolol!)

This is her Pinterest board I made for her, it shows her style and how she looks. Some photos will vary depending on the situation/ story though. Feel free to view~

Here’s a short description of you don’t want to read everything!

History: Yuri is a blue eyed, pale skinned girl who’s in her highschool years. She has freckles from her chest, shoulders.. up to her cheeks and face. She gets them from Akito, her father who’s Australian. He married Ayame, who’s Japanese. Ayame has white fluffy hair while Akito’s is very curly and light brown. They had their first child in JP named Yuki, a girl who looks mostly like her father with her brown bob cut short hair. A year passed and Yuri was born. Yuri looked a lot like her mother, her white hair, blue eyes.. they’re both albino.

About: Yuri’s a very kind and selfless person, she’s adored by many for how sweet and gentle she is. She has a very soft and quiet voice, she almost sounds like she’s talking to a baby. She always carries around a small backpack, holding things like a small blanket or some water.. just in case she runs into trouble.

Likes: Yuri loves being with her friends.. or in anyone’s company. She never fails to put a smile on their faces, and in return they adore her presence. She’s okay with being alone too, she doesn’t mind getting some peace and quiet once in a while, it’s refreshing.

Dislikes: Growing up people used to bully her because of her looks and personality, they found her tooo sweet. It was weird, some found it creepy and obnoxious. So she hates it when people teases her like that, although she’s too kind to say it, she’d most likely be repeating it in her head.

Fav. Food: She likes anything sweet! Whether it’s candies or chocolates.. or doughnuts! But her favorite is cake. She could gulp down a sponge cake or a chocolate cake.. but not when it’s tooo sweet, that’s too much.

Dislike food: She doesn’t like things that are supposed to be warm, turned cold. For example, overnight oats.. warm oatmeal sounds amazing but when it’s frozen.. eugh. Or those cold soba noodles.. gross. Anything cold like that she hates.

Fav weather: Yuri’s favorite weather is when it snows. The beautiful white snowflake falling from the sky, watching it pile up.. it looks magical to her. Though she also likes when it rains, sitting down in a dim room with a good book, cuddled up in blankets… so peaceful.

Fave holiday: Along with the cold weather, her favorite holiday is Christmas! Giving gifts is something she loves to do. But not just that, the joy of Christmas. Being able to wake up with your family and exchange gifts. Sitting in the window and watching the snow. Hearing the giggles and laughter of children playing.. she loves it all.

Hobbies: If not hanging with her friends, you can find her at the beach.. or any park or local library. She loves reading.. her favorite is fantasy and romance novels. You can find her sitting in the park up on a tree just resding to herself, or laying on a picnic mat just relaxing.

Birthday: Her birthday is December 19th! She usually gets her gifts before or during Christmas morning.

~~~~~

Voice Claim: I haven’t actually done one of these before but I do believe her JP and ENG voice would be Rei from Evangelion (the 2021 version? I havent watched that anime.. but I’ve heard her voice before.)

If you have any other questions or comments about her, please comment!

Drawings!!

Unfortunately I can’t draw for shit so.. I do commissions every once in a while. So here are some commissions I’ve done with them! All of the artists are listed below the photo!

(The credit belong to them! Nothing is mine except for the character!!)

Akito (Yuri’s father in his younger years. I did him in a Sk8 AU bc… why not?👀)

Artist is: @thym3y

This is Yuri!

Artist is: @ Kyrin_San on instagram

(I can’t find who the artist for this one is for the LIFE of me omg.. I searched everywhere but 🫠…. If I do find them I’ll tag them. I completely forgot omg, I’m so sorry)

A friend of mine drew Yuki for me! (Yuri’s older sister!)

Artist is: @ibtrashwhore

#oc #my ocs #own character #oc artwork #oc art #ocs #original character

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genezisjapaneselitblog · 2 months

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WEEK 20 BLOG

This week I read pages 318-368 of the book “Kafka on the Shore” by Harukami Murakami

The most important sentence of the week can be found on page 363 “my role is to restore was here now to the way it should be. That’s why I left Nakano when across a huge bridge and came to Shikoku and as I’m sure you’re aware you cant stay here anymore” Here’s Why. In this section we see Nakata and Miss Saeki meet each other for the first time. This is when the book starts to connect with both stories. In the book, after a long ride around Shikoku Nakata finds the Komura Librabrt and gets an automatic feeling that he needs to go in there and that it’s the place he needs to see. While Hoshino and Nakata go in they read lots of book and gets a tour around 2 by Miss Saeki. After the tour he gets this sudden feeling that he needs to talk to Miss saeki which he ends up doing. While talking Miss Saeki realizes that they both have been waiting for each other. We find out that Miss Saeki hasn’t had any friends because of her memories but it’s the same with Nakata however he has no memories of all which causes him to be friendless. Later, we find out that Miss Saeki has also opened the entrance stone years ago in order to keep a hold of her old boyfriend. But since it has now been opened by Nakata, they both realize that Miss Saeki can’t stay there no more and is fated to die. Although Miss Saeki should be sad, she isn’t. She knew it was time, she says that her whole life has just been a string of meaningless mistakes which she wrote down in files. Nakata is told to burn them as one last wish from Miss Saeki and that is it… Miss Saeki dies with her head down on her desk. Oshima walks in and see her but it seems as he knew that this was her fate.

While reading this section, I got shocked. I never expected this outcome. I knew that sooner or later the stories will connect but the outcome of Miss Saeki dying was something shocking to me. I have so many questions, why did she have to die? how did Oshima know? And how will Kafka react? All these questions are in my head and I know that I will get answers to them later. This book is really good., it brings a lot of suspense the mor who you read it. I can’t wait to finish the book and read more about the connection and what happens next in the plot.

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mindydc88 · 4 months

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request done for Harukami Mei 🌸

#chibi #request #illustration

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cocobabyluv · 7 months

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The truth is this: life is empty. However, help is available. If you know that from the outset, it’s almost as if life’s not really meaningless at all. We’ve really worked tirelessly to build it all up, and then tried with all our might to wear it down, and now it’s empty. No matter how hard you work, or how hard your try to bring it down, none of that’ll be written here

Harukami Murakami (1979), Hear the Wind Sing (33)

#haruki murakami #the rat series #hear the wind sing #grunge #slice of life #first book #book quote #booklr #aesthetic #dark books #truth reading #reader insert #book recommendations #magical realism #art

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usagisbanexd · 1 year

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+ SUPER SOLDIER SAILOR STARS #10 * _) _) >>C===3 :-* Kawaii Slash Lovers Collide Cosmic Paradise // Sailormoon/Pokémon/Potterverse Altfic Crossover, CHAPTER 1.0.010

youtube

1.0.010 MOTOKI SHOPS FOR A NEW GIRL, GUESS MONSTER OF THE WEEK ISN'T GOOD ENOUGH FOR HIM </3

Motoki got his eyes crossed thinking about a muse. He thinks he’s going to be stupid. He thinks he’s got the right. He thinks she’s no good at moving. She thinks with her heart and never wants woman wise. She has a hard time knowing what to think about herself. She wants to die all the time. No, that’s the only one. He wants her to take her panties off, and doesn’t know why we waste our time writing with wax. They only have six days before the planet ends. We all want it to happen, we all want those little girls to stop dancing, all of Nipon hangs in the balance, all Indian magic was wrong. We haven’t even said goodbye to yesterday. Yeah, yesteryear. He never will. Don't get your hopes up, Ami-chan. Love will come to you like a too-tight fuku and rip your legs asunder. Kawaii, frownyface, love thunders on. Mako knows how to water a flower, Ami-chan, your mist is toxic force, Farfetch'd in the pigpen. Stop trying. Bleep, goes Ami's visor, and all the world inside her perverted eye. Itching to touch herself, itching to husk. Throbbing. Made male. Pale-mooned. Sleep-soaked. Refrigerator, open! Refrigerator, hit Ami in the fucking forehead! The boy is GANY'S, baby.

“We can do this, Motoki Kamen,” says Sailorchibiganymede, appearing at his dashboard with her legs splayed, rubbing a rose against her labia. “We can kill the evil Sailorjupiter and collect his starseed! Bane of all the gods, he wanders heaven thinking he’s the greatest, but we know in his heart of hearts, he’s womb-born. Womb-born like woman, womb-born like that bitch Hotaru trapped down the cellar with a rope and two pairs of binoculars. I can bleed for you if you’re getting bored. I can see your incision. Do brains proffer explanation? Tickle me with a rose!”

“Slow down,” says Motoki. “You’re too good for me. I’ve unleashed you and now I need to play catch-up. I need to go back to my la and fink phu. You’re too good to write better. You know it’s ‘baby.’ Baby, think for me, I’ll think for you.”

“I think eternal stars,” says Fuku, turning around and showing her twat from a different angle. She knows he’s dancing all the way to the bank, tank on empty, does she know how to read a speedometer? What’s a speedometer? Where’s the gas gauge? Sailorhotstudofmercury, fix my car!! I “love you,” Moto-chan. For Mako she sheds a tear, tissue from the stoli of her eye. Does her puss look good from this angle? He’s going to puke. I’ll resuscitate him. IRONS! NURSE, I SAID IRONS!

“Slow down,” he says cooly to the mirror. “Slow.” She thinks he lives to breathe, but actually he thinks to live unencumbered. He’s a mystery, a divine one, and soon in her pussy she’ll clutch his jewel like the empress clam obtaining the pearl from the hand of God! And all the riches will be hers, and the plumber lives, and we’re glad he’s talking about this, and he works at an arcade, and that’s all right by me, I’ll fuck Mario later, I’ll fuck Mario good, but first I get this boy out of my head until he soils my fuku. Soil is the wrong word, operative shit, operative esther, operative sing-along, stat! I have two babies, two whole babies from my womb, and still a sealed hymen like a curse on women. Am I thinking too slow? Strike the mirror, check.

I want to know when you’ll be okay. If you’re having a problem reading this, you’re not. Everybody belongs to the Empreors. Everybody is imp-bound. Every fossil uncovered des deez nutang Asia Palace pseudonym harukami. Knifeblade Maru-chan, every beautiful word taken by breasted female, and you and I alone my Moki-chan to harbor against a rock and cling to villages in fantasy where women go to war. Why am I alone in this? Women go to war. Baby, relax, I’m thinking slowly. He tells the whole thing to his head and feels it wash away.

Moki at the throne of an Impala. Moki driving, staff assisted. Moki at the arcade. Moki fielding deadly cinema, Mokley with a gun in hand. Do we know why Mokley knows Mokley? Can we tell? Does Matoko know that God is watching? And dear Makoto, dead on the floor, time out of time predatress kneeling by her wingside, thinking she’s her mistress, that’s okay – THAT’S NOT OKAAY. BABY, THAT’S NOT OKAY. SAY MATOKI. I’LL REASON WITH TIME ON BEHALF OF MOON FLYING TOWARD FAVOR IN THE MILKY WAY. WHERE ARE WE? YOU KNOW, SO TELL ME.

Makoto lies alone. Mako has his girl. Ami-chan sleeps with a knife in her pocket, knowing the wisdom through which she sees the world is nothing but an empty doom torn outside like a glove into heaven. And I burst. And I’m done. And I tried to help but I’m Ami and I’m evil. And I’ll never take the visor off. And I’ll never be a real girl. And I love Matoki, big and small, but all people are the same and some have similar names, and you’ll never achieve lift-off typing like that, Ami-chan, so type short sentences and I’ll assist you by buying you a Macintosh. A brand new Macintosh?! Mommy, you shouldn’t have! And Sailortrannyjupito sings songs about Kreyayshawn, white-nosed, presagething a flood, never getting her due, bleeding semina somewhere in the backseat of a rideshare, counting her million. Sailorchibiganymede lives past and present, but Moto is so tired and so ashamed. Do I flash him the beatstick? The lips? The beautiful pink wonderland betwixt that ugly bone at the bereft of my thigh? I worked hard for that bone; I stole it from the corpse of Zeus descended. Teehee, he had thought to misremember his iniquity, but all fingers point to troubled Ganymede. My beloved soldiers me through fields toward the great pink and gold city planet in the sky, untouched by man, throwing up illusions, a nom casino flung like coins like rainwater out of buckets all across the streets, Ami cannot reach it, if Ami dares to go, she dies, and fair-faced Ganymede, the never morninged raver, is the city liberated from Yahweh’s twisted curses. Sailorgamorrah ascended, Sailorgamorrah my mother, Sailorgamorrah perfect star, live to rise again!

“Come to Ganymede, Moto, baby,” sings Sailorchibiganymede, making air traffic controller acrobatics with her arms, legs doing nothing but holding the wheel where his hands are. His hands on her legs. Her legs. She’s never been a rose. Ami has pricked herself. Ami has died. Ami is monster of the week, moss-headed, mudded, entangled. Ami’s next. “TURN RIGHT! KILL MAKO-CHAN! FOREVER BLOSSOM! NINETY FOUR SISTERS, AWAKEN!”

Mako thinks. Mako wants to know. Mako believes Ami doesn’t know what she’s talking about, but Sailorunderprivilegeddtennesseangirl sleeps with her head tucked to her cleavage and her ugly dagger’s chin alert for plunging, plunging medal modesty into the hearts of miscellaneous penised people, the golden nymphs beyond her reason blooming outward from her head like a greater beauty seeking a greater light, leaving her eyes, leaving her ears, leaving her hair behind. And Sailorhermaphroditus her bastard child lives like a leaf, losing little, losing limpids, crawling through nature, unwinding, out of time, never afeared, always becoming greater through the metric of building, and that’s her partition, and Ganymede holds her at the tip of her womb, her whole body’s her womb, but a little star pix brightly shining collapses into everything at the basketball’s spinning point upon her fingertip, and Ganymede holds all the cards, what ugliness does Ami harbor, what black blood in a trash can, a weapon, Eve’s curse, Gany pukes. Gany doesn’t care. Gany is man-born, stolen to heaven by Jupiter. Last night he did remember. In the secret trove of his apartment he the only man reigns and rains, see how it is? Rains and reigns over ninety four flowers, all of them women, and never leaves. Kill him with us, Ami-chan, his evil knows no bounds. Don’t you see how all this comes to be?

“Who are you talking to, Mako?”

“I am Sailorganymede, mother of the orphan tree! Fear not my name which settles thee upon the branch of inconvee! Teehee, wheehee, ouioui.”

“Baby, you offered Mercury a spot,” says Motoki.

“Honey, I called to her through time. Her evil womb encases you for fear of manly women. I spoke to my father the sun this day and he told me to sacrifice you like Isaac upon the mountain, the iron-barked mountain, Ami threatens me, she ties my tongue, she knows no God, she is computer-born. Avaunt! I said ‘Soon, I die!’ Why bring that on? I thought you loved me, grew this vagina for you, plucked me from my garden in Jupiter’s thigh and gave myself to a vestige of you iron-born. Get this silly haggot from me hence! Or soon I embark upon a war of recompense! Peace sign! Kawaii! Teehee! Dark Kool Aid Prism Power, Poverty Make-Up!”

“I am a spirit,” says Ami.

“Then speak bravely of where you are.”

“I am in chains,” she says.

“A simulation, as you have ever been. You gave your heart to Galaxia, baby, you did it to drink beer. Figure that out for yourself and we’ll find ourselves a man through the mask of your personage. We are all, we drink the earth and sun and dawn and moon and sky and ground and eternity of sex and love! Sex and love! Moon-chan, that’s something to fight for. Does she hear me from beyond the grave? I tire of never talking. Ami, call his phone.”

“No,” he says.

“Okay, but I’m a dead girl in a flower astral projecting myself on his dashboard. What’s a poor lass to do but roll over and die? YOUR WORDS, AMI. WHY? WHY? WHY? CRY. CRY, FLY, OR DIE. BUT NOT THROUGH MY TONGUE WILL I EVER LET YOU LIE.”

“I’m poor,” says Ami. “And grave.”

“Since Moon has died, my dear friend Ami, who has played the knave?”

“You can do this all day,” says Ami, firing a missile hence. “But no one will read it. It’s too grave.”

“There are starseeds thrown to good earth waiting to blossom, penised flowers in the garden of a goddess greater than your understanding, Ami P, who shall take up all mantles like fair Atlas the rippling assus and give to the earth a bounty of young Romuli incarnate eternum? Don’t shackle me and do NOT conspire! Rupaul watches you from a future vantage, A batch of young is your doing, Ami P, your future, and you curse yourself in so choosing. I shall have infinite children. The sun is in my throat and her song is fecundity. Soon. . . I DIE! AVAUNT!!”

“Hold on,” says Motoki, fixing the rear view. “I’m almost there.”

“Who sleeps waiting for the phallus?” says Chibiganymede, her eyes three crystals torn from tsundere, stepped on, trampled on, stomped on, STOMP. Tsundere break. Tsundere build. Tsundere crash. “Await me, God! Baseball Jersey Kamen, I come!”

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