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jaevie · 5 months

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Midday Reverie

Pairing: omega!Jaehyun x alpha!reader

Genre: Enemies to lovers (kind of), omegaverse, slow burn, smut.

Word count: 22.5k

Summary: After moving to the countryside to protect himself from hunters, Jaehyun is finally content: not only he lives away from omega stereotypes, but manages to get himself a job at the local sex shop. Everything is perfect until a huntress comes to town — one that, much to his surprise, is an alpha. And his mate.

Warnings: If you’re big/educated on omegaverse, know that I made the pairing a little non-traditional, with female alpha being able to get impregnated by a male omega. For smut, expect oral and unprotected sex, biting, scenting, toys, shibari, and extreme emotional involvement. This fic also contains mentions of death and descriptions of violence.

N/A: Wow, this was finished way faster than I intended. I hope you enjoy it! ♡

After years of running and hiding, Jung Jaehyun could say that, for once in his life, he was happy, safe and free.

The countryside observed his absolute content — a young man with a serene complexion, glasses on his nose and thick black hair caressed by the sea-scented wind — as he walked downtown. Attracted to beautiful things, the sun petted the top of his head. Even the soothing landscapes kept an eye on him: the historical houses carved into the hills, the imponent cliffs, the flower fields extending their arms into the horizon, and the never-ending ocean who occupied itself leaving giggly pecks on the shore, a kiss marked by the whitest foam.

The small town Jaehyun had chosen to live in was graced with more than natural beauties, as a colorful village thrived in the middle, very similar to an artist’s canvas. Medieval but also vibrant, with several shades of bricks decorating the buildings, streets and squares. The air was often dense with the smell of bread coming from the bakery, fresh pasta from the restaurants, and flowers from the shops.

It was such a lovely place. Perfect for an omega.

Although many hurtful lies had been spread about his kind, Jaehyun accepted the truth. He was a gentle soul, patient, understanding and sensitive to other’s feelings. However, he was not what others claimed omegas to be: so weak and submissive he would beg for love and affection; so unable to control himself his hormones would turn him into an animal. And finally, Jaehyun believed, with his entire heart, that he did not need to rely on an alpha to be happy or to find purpose in life.

So when he noticed how cruel life could be, how omegas were treated unfairly and how the government was paying hunters to keep them under control, Jaehyun ran away. Thankfully, it worked out.

The small bell on the door rang softly when he stepped in, finding his boss already inside the shop. “Good morning, Jae!” Haechan cooed, expressive brown eyes matching his big grin.

“Good morning!” Jaehyun put his bag aside, noticing a bunch of new boxes on the floor. “I see the packages arrived.”

“These are going to sell like water!” Haechan nearly jumped from excitement. Had he not been human, he was probably going to be an omega too. Sometimes, Jaehyun wished he could actually like Haechan: that the shop owner’s scent edged him on, and that Haechan’s gaze could make him blush. Things would be a lot easier if Jaehyun could fall for a human. “Here are the new plugs, the clit suckers are there, and these…” Haechan opened one of the boxes, removing a toy Jaehyun had never seen. It had two different ends connected by a string: a white vibrator and a clitorial sucker. Yellow, blue and pink flowers were imprinted all over it. Quite honestly, it seemed to match a little girl’s birthday party. “This is the revolution, my friend. It sucks the clit while the vibrator thrusts itself in.”

Jaehyun’s eyes widened. Technology was really wild those days. “Wow!”

“I know! People can use it on their own and with their partners. Amazing, isn’t it?” Then, Haechan handed the toy over. “Here, this one is yours. Use it and give me your opinion. We need honest, accurate reviews.”

Jaehyun swallowed, shifting uncomfortably on his feet as he felt the toy in his hands, rubbing his thumb against the smooth silicone. Perceptive as a fox, Haechan noticed his hesitation. “What’s wrong?”

“I don’t have anyone to try this with.” Jaehyun smiled without showing his teeth, dimples coming out shyly.

“Well, my boy, you can always try. Go out tonight and find yourself a lady. You don’t have to marry her, just a night will do,” Haechan encouraged with gentle taps on Jaehyun’s shoulder.

Deep inside, Jaehyun wished he could explain that his nature was way more complex. He was an omega, and omegas sought to have mates for life. Someone they could trust and thrive with, someone to complement their skills, to be nice to them. To build them a nest and keep them nice and warm. But no one should know about his nature. It was only going to put him in danger.

Laughing it off, Jaehyun kept his secret buried in his chest.

Heachan left after checking the storage to meet the marketing agency he had hired, leaving Jaehyun by himself. It was nothing unusual. Most of Jaehyun’s days were spent at the shop, anyway. He put all his efforts into keeping everything neat and being as attentive as he could muster, recommending the best toys for what the customers looked for. There wasn’t a single question he would not reply. At the end of the day, people felt comfortable to open up and listen, because there wasn’t anyone more patient and gentle-mannered than the sex shop’s salesman. And, obviously, comfortable customers made bigger purchases.

That was one of the reasons Haechan loved having Jaehyun as his employee. The other reason was Jaehyun’s looks. He was like an angel, with peachy skin, lively brown eyes, manly eyebrows and broad shoulders; Jaehyun was tall, soft and polite, cultured and humble. Haechan could not even guess how many people in town had a crush on Jaehyun, but he guessed the sales increase after his hiring was not a coincidence.

That day went by as ordinary: Jaehyun’s playlist was on in the shop — slow, melodic R&B tones that got the customers asking the name of the songs —, and a few customers arrived to check on new products. The sun was warm and life was good. Average, ordinary. Jaehyun liked it like an anchor liked to sit at the bottom of the ocean.

But when the bell on the door rang its premonitive chant, Jaehyun lifted his face to meet with the end of his peace.

You smelled like fading into sleep beneath the hot sun. Like an alluring adventure, a midday reverie. Orange-like, passionate, summerly. A scent so confident and strong he instantly knew that you were an alpha and that he liked you more than he ever wished to like Haechan. His heart, so candied, desired nothing but to be delicately held by your hands.

You did not look like most alphas, though. You were shorter than Jaehyun, with the average silhouette of a woman. Driven by details, Jaehyun registered the thin silver choker on your neck, from which small diamond stars hung; he took in how your hair crowned your face like moonlight made the night a thousand times more alluring. He looked into your eyes, sharp and dazzling, eyelids so long snowflakes could be captured in them. And the black, long jeans you wore? The oversized suit that combined your powerful aura? You had his knees trembling. Jaehyun stared in awe as you walked inside the shop, exhaling confidence and authority, running those unforgiving eyes on the shelves filled with vibrators, dildos and plugs, until they landed on him.

You tilted your head with a playful grin on your lips. “What’s wrong with your jaw?”

Jaehyun immediately closed his mouth without realizing he had opened it in the first place, his cheeks burning like flames on a stove. “I’m sorry, miss.” Sorry that you were so beautiful and it felt so right to just look at you — and that his mouth salivated at how gorgeously you messed with his brain. “H-how can I help you?”

Your gaze was analytical, cold even through the layers of playfulness. Only then he told himself that you were an alpha, and alphas were not to be trusted. How would he know you weren’t one of those hunters that tracked omegas and forced them into submission? Jaehyun had been lucky in hiding, but he knew most omegas had an unhappy ending. If you were an omega and an alpha caught you, you were sent back to the capital, and once you were there, you were forced to mate with someone your heart did not choose. It was a hideous crime against everything Jaehyun believed in, and he mentally thanked himself for taking his suppressants. That way, you wouldn’t be able to feel his scent. You would not even know he was an omega. Hopefully.

You stepped closer and closer, until Jaehyun could count the pores on your face. “I’m looking for a toy.” Your voice was velvety and calm, like a carpet that took him straight to the loveliest daydream.

Jaehyun nervously fixed his glasses. “Any preferences?”

“I like the flexible and potent ones. Extra points if they’re cute,” you replied, leaning on the counter — your scent, stronger with your proximity, could intoxicate his every blood cell. Why did it sound like he could be the toy you were looking for?

“W-we have this one, it arrived today,” Jaehyun was close to sweating as he handed you the new toy. “This end gives you clitorial stimulation. And this other end is-“

“Perfect for penetration,” you interrupted, using your fingers to explore the end that resembled the shape of a cock. “Does it thrust alone?”

“Yes,” Jaehyun's rosy cheeks embarrassed him further. “Excuse me, miss,” he politely pressed the button to turn the toy on, swallowing when you wrapped your lovely hand around the girth that started moving back and forth in a short, strong speed. He should not be thinking the things he did. God, he should not. “It has five different types of potency too.”

You nodded with a smile that only made you twice as beautiful, so much it was a scandal. “I’ll take it.”

Jaehyun proceeded to wrap the toy box for you, putting it inside the shop customized — but still discreet — bag. When you handed him your credit card, he quickly registered your name, and knew he had to say something else or he was going to regret his silence forever. “Are you new in town?”

“Yes,” you nodded. “I was transferred from the capital.”

“Really? What do you work with?”

“I’m a huntress.” Your honest reply almost made Jaehyun choke on his own saliva, but for the sake of his being, he did not. “You might’ve heard it. Rebellious omegas are moving to small towns, and the government is sending alphas to track them.”

Fuck. How Jaehyun was able to control the absolute agony in his face was even unknown to him. “So you’re an alpha, then…” he hummed as though he had not known.

“Yes,” you grinned like an angel holding a knife on its back, like a snake hidden in the bushes. “You’re not an omega by any chance, are you?” Your tone was mocking: you both knew the chances of an honest answer were low, in case he really was an omega.

“Human,” Jaehyun lied.

“I envy you. Human population is rising, and we are going down,” you sighed. “We wouldn’t, if omegas had the decency to face their destinies.”

Your words were like a sting in his chest. In true honesty, Jaehyun wanted to argue. To tell you what people called destinies was nothing but a way to both control and hurt omegas and alphas. He wanted to tell you what he thought: that omegas had suffered enough, seen as only useful for sex, to stay back home and take care of the kids and the housework while alphas, especially males, ran wild and free. Jaehyun wanted to tell you that your opinion was not only wrong, but violent. It made his heart ache, how you were part of the system he despised.

“I can imagine,” was all he said.

Your eyes held his gaze for a few seconds, as though you were trying to see through him, your nose trained to smell his lies. But you said nothing, accepting when he handed you the bag. “Thank you, mister…?”

“Jung. Jung Jaehyun.”

“I’m Y/N, but you already know that.” With a smile, you turned around to leave. When your hand was on the handle, Jaehyun spoke again.

“Miss, can I ask you a favor?”

“Sure.”

“We still don’t have reviews on the toy you’re taking. With due respect, if you could write yours, so we can anonymously post it, I’d appreciate it.”

Jaehyun did not know how he mustered the courage to ask you that. Just like he didn’t understand how he resisted falling to his knees when you chuckled, frank and gorgeous and just made for him.

“You’ll hear from me soon, Jaehyun.”

Hidden into the dark embrace of the night, you were supposed to delight yourself in its secrets and maneuvers, but it was quite the opposite.

A cold drop of sweat ran down your temple as you squirmed on the bed. Another nightmare. It was as though you smelled the metallic notes of blood on your nose, dense and undeniable, while your mother, lying on the living room floor, tried to push the pup. Your fifth brother.

“He’s not coming out,” your mother insisted, her face salty with excruciating tears and laboring sweat.

Coldly watching from the balcony, your father sighed as if every word coming out of her mouth was made of pure, overreacting drama.

That night, after ten hours of pleading and sobbing, your mother and brother died on the cold floor. A pool of thick blood spread on the rug, and you were once again haunted by how your father told you to get it fucking off his face and clean it.

You woke up with a scream in your throat, that you swallowed harshly as sweat dripped down your nape. That nightmare was more frequent than you would ever like, and it repeated from time to time.

There was no escaping from the things you had seen. There was no exit from the way of the world, how females were meant to breed and bring live to pups. It didn’t even matter if they were alphas, betas or omegas. No woman was safe.

Every day, you did what you did not to end up like your mother. As long as there were omegas to hunt, you were not going to be forcefully paired with a random man that seeked to impregnate you. You would rather hunt a thousand omegas than allow anyone to put a pup inside you.

Even the cute, polite omega you had met that afternoon.

Jung Jaehyun. A name like sugary on your tongue.

Who was he trying to fool with those sweet eyes? Those plush lips, charming dimples, shiny black hair and his soft voice? Who was he trying to fool with that bewitching attitude that flourished right from the courteous and respectful garden of his heart?

You had come across attractive omegas before, with eyelashes so gracious that even the brattiness in their mouths came out alluring and dear, but it was different this time. Your heartbeat had been singing a different melody since you entered that shop, hoping to find another prey that would offer you a pleasing, feisty hunt. However, even the thought of Jung Jaehyun soothed your nightmare’s side effects, helping you focus on the devouring need to bring him to your arms and give him the world. A need so brutal it felt visceral.

You wanted to show him how you looked naked. To see his jaw dropping again, and to show him the true meaning of warmth.

But you had a file on him, a long list of information: where he was born, where his parents lived, what money the government was going to pay you for his capture. You knew his background, a lovely child that wished to be a theme park designer, mom’s only child, the best in class. You also had the address of Jaehyun’s suppressant provider.

All that information was like having a rope around his neck, a rope you were close to tightening in a firm, definitive knot.

“You have to be fucking kidding me,” you chuckled bitterly, using your own blouse to wipe the sweat away from your face, and staring over at the sex toy on the bedside table, the same you had used as your head guided you back to him. His eyes, his hands, his lips.

You knew better than to give your heart any indulgence. Jung Jaehyun was your prey, and you were going to hunt him down.

“So, how was your night? Found a lady to try the new toy with?” Haechan cooed excitedly as he welcomed Jaehyun into the shop the next day.

If Jaehyun could give an honest answer, he would say that he put his vinyl records on, from Frank Ocean to Cigarettes After Sex, lit a musk candle, and counted how many suppressant pills he still had — everything so his mind would not chase you in its eternal longing for romance and belonging. You were a huntress, which severely compromised your morals and sense of judgment. It was so mean of you to do what you did, and still, Jaehyun wished you'd be gentle to him. A type of gentleness that put him to sleep and blew sweet air on his lungs — a type of care that was absolute, inviting and nesting. He wished you could build him a nest, with things that smelled like you, and bury him in your arms after a rough day. There was nothing else in the world that he desired as much.

“Not actually,” Jaehyun scratched his nape softly. “I preferred to stay home.”

“Ah,” Haechan’s excitement shrinked with himself, and he seemed smaller behind the counter. “I didn’t succeed either.”

Jaehyun’s eyebrows furrowed. “What happened?”

“I have not been in the mood lately, you know? Which is very weird, considering the way I am.” Haechan pouted, looking down at his hands. His sorrowful tone made Jaehyun come closer to rub his back in soothing circles.

“Don’t worry, Haechannie. We all have our phases.”

“What if it is not a phase? What if I have lost my libido forever?”

“So dramatic,” Jaehyun chuckled. “It won’t come to that. Give yourself time and be patient. You’ll feel ready again one day.”

Haechan nodded with slightly hopeful eyes, although his face still looked pouty. Slowly, his features allowed a bit of rage in. “What a shame! I need reviews for my shop and can’t even push myself to experiment with the toy I was the most excited about!”

Jaehyun mentally told himself to be quiet, but his empathy spoke louder. He couldn’t help it. Seeing people struggling was something he really hated. “We still can get reviews somehow, you know? I asked one of the customers that bought the toy to write us one.”

“You did what?!” Haechan stood up in shock. “Who did you ask?”

Jaehyun raised his hands in peace. “You don’t know her. She’s new in town. But don’t worry, Haechannie. I wouldn’t have asked her if she didn’t seem open.”

The owner seemed to calm down, but retorted suspiciously: “She’s probably into you. I bet she’s leaving a whole ass review with several details to make you think of her…”

“I don’t think so,” Jaehyun readily replied.

“Why are you always so humble, Jae? Don’t you notice the effect you have on others?” Haechan sighed, then analyzed Jaehyun a little closer. “Unless… Unless you’re interested in her, that’s why you asked!”

As much as Jaehyun admired his boss, sometimes Haechan’s cleverness really got on his nerves. “Stop saying nonsense!”

“Your ears are red. You’re definitely lying! Come on, tell me everything about her! New in town, you said…?”

Disconcertedly, Jaeyun removed his glasses and rubbed his eyelids. “I’m not talking about her. Please, respect it.”

Haechan was about to stick his tongue out at his employee when the bell on the door rang and they both turned around.

And just like that, the sensation of summer was once again in Jaehyun’s lungs, the smooth moves of your hair bringing the soft notes of oranges to his sensitive nose — and this time, as he awkwardly put the glasses back on his face, Jaehyun thought he was actually going to die, because you walked in wearing a leather jacket that matched your biker gloves.

You rode a motorcycle. It was just parked outside.

Holy shit, you were a fucking badass!

“Hi, Y/N!” Jaehyun was close to gagging, his ears turning twice as scarlet, like cherries. “How are you?”

“Hey,” you grinned gingerly, taking a moment to look at the young man right next to Jaehyun. “Perfect. You?”

“Fine. This is Haechan, he’s the shop owner. Haechan, this is Y/N, our new customer” he was quick to introduce you.

“Nice to meet you,” Haechan hummed in a tone that sounded almost like a seductive coo, which embarrassed Jaehyun a little.

“You have a lovely shop,” you smiled. “I just came back to tell Jaehyun I wrote the review.”

“Ah, thank you!” Jaehyun uttered. “You can send it to me and I’ll post it on our website asap!”

“With one condition,” you spoke, staring at him deeply. His eyes were sweet, but yours were menacing. “I’ll send it if you have dinner with me.”

Both Jaehyun and Haechan held their breaths. Your target blushed while his boss tried not to jump around in a supportive display of happiness, content that his reserved and discreet employee finally had the chance to go out with someone he was interested in.

Jaehyun, on the other hand, was nearly shock-circuiting, wondering if you really wanted to take him out or if it was all a strategy for you to find out if he was an omega.

But what could he do against the soul crashing desire to be with you? What will did he have against his own instinct?

Denying you was not an option.

“Sure,” Jaehyun managed to reply. “I’ll be happy to.”

Taking Jaehyun’s suppressant provider down was easily risked off your list. Piece of cake. The man, a neat guy named Jaemin, offered little resistance when you knocked on his door, which led to you finding his hidden lab and the several suppressants he stored in the garage. Jaemin was quickly sent to jail right after.

Without suppressants, Jaehyun would be unable to hide his scent. He was probably going into heat too, when the time came; heats were usually so ferocious and ruthless he was going to give you all the evidence required to send him back to the capital as an omega. That was how you planned on catching him.

Of course, as you faced him at the lovely street restaurant, with candles burning on the table and the moonlight rays blessing your encounter, he did not know you already had planned his downfall from start to end. You pitied him. You pitied everyone. But it had never stopped you from doing your job.

“This is one of my favorites in town,” Jaehyun looked at the restaurant facade, with an angelic arch of light blue flowers surrounding the wood doors.

“Glad I picked the right place,” you replied, sipping on white wine. “How long have you been living here, if I may ask?”

“A little more than three years.”

“And are you happy?”

Jaehyun nodded without hesitation. “More than when I lived in the capital. Here, life goes by slower. There’s no traffic and the violence ranges are lower than average. I’m closer to nature too. I really like listening to the birds sing when I wake up.”

There they were again, his sweet eyes. His plush lips, charming dimples, shiny black hair.

Your inflamed desire to give him everything he could possibly have,

“Adorable,” you smiled. At that very moment, one of your colleagues, Taeyong, was breaking into Jaehyun’s house to get rid of his suppressants. Dinner had just been an excuse to bring Jaehyun out. Or so you liked to think. “I suppose you enjoy the people too, besides the lifestyle. Your boss seems to be a lovely boy.”

“Haechan?” Jaehyun’s eyes widened as he winded up some spaghetti on the fork. It caught your attention, how smooth and lovely his manners were in his structure, with long slender fingers and defined muscles on his arms. “He’s my friend, that’s all. But yes, he’s really cool.”

“It must be fun, working at a sex shop…”

He chuckled, looking exceedingly cute in those reading glasses, with a smile so pure and genuine you wanted to kiss him. It ached, being in his presence and knowing you could not make him yours, like a true alpha did to an omega.

“I thought so too, when I was hired, but now I just focus on helping people find what they want,” Jaehyun explained, seeming a lot more comfortable around you. He had barely touched his wine, so you could not blame it on alcohol. Maybe he was just a sweet and outgoing communicator. “It’s impressive how sex toys can assist us. They make couples grow closer and help people who are discovering what they like, and even those who are facing sexual traumas. I really like what I do, it makes me feel important.”

Shit. He was really adorable.

“What about you?” Jaehyun continued. “Are you enjoying the town?”

“Kind of. I love the capital, but it is nice here too.”

“Is the hunt going well? I mean, did you find any omegas?”

“None,” you replied, trying to suppress how his boldness surprised you. “They’re getting harder to catch.”

Jaehyun looked down at his fork. “Maybe… Maybe they don’t want to have a miserable life, you know?”

Softly, you clenched an eyebrow. “How so?”

“I mean, think about yourself. You’re an alpha. Aren’t there any responsibilities that come with the title that you wish you could avoid?”

“There are, that’s why I’m hunting,” you honestly replied, feeding from the curiosity in his gaze. “As long as I’m working, I won’t be needed in reproductive matters.”

Jaehyun’s eyes squeezed. “So you hunt omegas and send them back to serve the same matters you personally run from?”

“Hypocritical, right?” you hummed nonchalantly. “But it is them or me, and I’ve made my decision a long time ago.”

Jaehyun bit the inside of his cheek. How complex it was, to comprehend one’s motivation. “Do you really think that’s the only solution?”

“Well, if you have a better one, I’m all ears,” you tightened your eyes at him, chewing on a buttered rigatoni. “You have a very determined opinion, for a human.”

“I’m interested in social subjects. I think societies can be more equal and gentle.”

Of course he did.

“I bet that’s motivation for selling toys too,” you guessed. Alphas, betas and omegas tended to only have sex with their mates when they had the chance; if they had not found their mates, sex toys were the best substitutes, and offered some kind of relief. “Tell me, how many omegas have you attended lately?”

“Is that why you wanted to have dinner with me? Because you think I’m turning my customers in to you?” Jaehyun firmly replied.

“Not really. I can always use some help, but you don’t have to tell me. And relax, I’m not here to investigate you. The review was only an excuse for me to get to know you a little better.”

Jaehyun blinked behind his glasses. "Did you like it? The toy?"

“Yes, I was really impressed” your eyes analyzed him like a fox eyeing a distracted white rabbit. You leaned over, and he immediately pulled his face closer to yours, as if you were going to tell him a secret. “What I liked the most about it was that the thrusting end firmly stays in, like a true knot.”

If Jaehyun had any wine in his mouth, he would have spat it out. But he did not, and even then, the poor guy choked on his own saliva, coughing inside his closed fist as you pretended not to be entertained. You rubbed his arm gently, like you were not trying your best to have him crumble in awe for you. “Did I say anything wrong, Jae?”

“N-no,” he shook his head, tears filling his eyes. “I just swallowed saliva and it went wrong. I’m sorry, Y/N. I really imagine that’s a huge thing for an alpha.”

“It is,” you agreed while handing him a glass of water. Your eyes then averted from his face, landing only for a second on his jeans, where an imposing volume outlined the zipper. Much to your surprise, the sight of his hardness made you damp on your panties. Fuck. You were turned on too, and Jaehyun was going to smell it. Well, let him. “Feeling any better?”

He nodded, trying to keep his eyes sober as he detected your arousal, looking almost lightheaded as he grabbed his fork back and went back to eating.

When Jaehyun got home that night, he felt like he was going to explode. His heartbeat frantically jangled in his ears, his eyes blurred with overwhelming tears, his pants tightened with the fantasies of his lifetime. Unsure, his mind was like a matryoshka doll, with layers of thought unraveling as he tried to figure out whether you intended on seducing him to yourself or on capturing him as an ordinary, worthless prey.

You. You were going to be the end of him. And he was going to very much let you.

Minutes after he arrived, his cell phone screen lit up with a new email notification. You had sent your review.

In the speed of light, Jaehyun clicked on it.

“It's different from any toy I've used. Heavier, too. I was unsure the clitorial stimulation was going to work out, because the nozzle was larger than my clit, but it fit just fine. I just had to keep my lips spread. The clit sucking end feels like someone is really sucking on your clit, moving their tongue up and down. That alone would make an amazing toy. But the moment I slid the other end inside, it was mind-blowing. My walls immediately clenched, and the combination of the pressure with how my muscles squeezed the toy was stupidly good. It reminded me of the feeling of being penetrated for the first time. Worth every penny.”

Jaehyun tried breathing as usual, fighting against the sinful images of you all naked, with your glistening pussy tightening the toy as it thrusted inside you. He tried shaking away the thoughts of your body squirming on the bed as your clit was sucked and your legs shook, your irresistible face contorted in the sweet bliss and pleasure the toy offered you.

Bravely, he fought the painful desire to touch himself. Until he remembered you said the toy resembled a knot, and fuck, Jaehyun wanted to give it to you: to be inside you, locked in, tied to you until you were both satisfied.

His permissive hand traveled down his navel. Just a little relief wouldn’t hurt, would it? He could have some fun, alone, without anyone knowing…

The remaining pieces of morality injected some reasoning into his brain.

He grabbed one suppressant pill from his wallet and swallowed it down with a sip of water — the glass had shaken helplessly in his hand on the way to his mouth. With a quick look, Jaehyun noticed he only had another six pills. His heat, too, was close, dangerously now that you were close to him. Heats, he remembered with a shiver, could be triggered by the presence of a soul bonding alpha, and even if Jaehyun resisted the thought that you could be his mate, it was definitely time to refill his wallet.

Taking a deep breath, he reached for the bedside table drawer. His heartbeat nearly stopped when he didn’t find the blister packs. Denying what he had already concluded, Jaehyun searched under his bed, in the bathroom cabinet, and even in the kitchen, but his pills were nowhere to be found. He knew what it meant.

As his heart cracked in more pieces than it was made of, Jaehyun knew you were hunting him.

“What do you mean Jaehyun isn’t here?” you clenched an eyebrow at Haechan, who pouted. He looked pretty much like a purry cat,

“He called in sick. Said he's got a fever. Was he well when you last saw him? You went on a date earlier this week, didn't you?”

“Yes.”

“Oh, he sent me the review, by the way! Thank you so much, the details will definitely help.”

You couldn't tell if Haechan's words were mocking, or maybe he was just playful. “Not at all,” you hummed, leaving the shop without further conversation.

It was weird that Jaehyun had not sent you a single text after your encounter. Maybe he was too idiot to make a move after you told him about the knot thing, or perhaps he had found out that you were after him.

[Haechan just told me you're sick. Need anything?] you texted shortly after jumping on your bike to ride home. Your text was not delivered, much less seen.

Impatiently, you started worrying something had happened. You knew his address, but Jaehyun had never told you where he lived. Knocking on his door meant exposure. Shaking the idea away, you attempted to find distraction in a long bath that left your skin flushed, your fingers wrinkly like plums. Still, your mind restlessly played you like a chess, awakening your impulsiveness. What if Jaehyun needed help? What if he was sick indeed? What if he was…

Oh, so you did care about him.

“Screw it!” you resolved, readily standing up from the tub and leaving a trail of determined drops where you stepped, heavy and firm.

You rode as though you were late to a crucial event, your cheeks burning in touch with the cold breeze as your bike cut the night like a deadly knife in a birthday cake. In your ears, the beat of your heart musically revealed the bitter sensation of despair. Your plan was perfect. Jaehyun was perfect. You could not let him slip between your fingers.

However, when you got to his house and the lights were off, you knew he had.

He had run away from you.

For three days, you did not hear anything from Jaehyun. He did not leave a trace, not a merciful clue, as if he had never been there. The only connection between you and him was named Haechan, and his purry presence did not make those gut-wrenching days any less sore.

Every waiting hour left a bitter taste on your tongue. You walked on a tightrope, and emptiness was a blade that cut it thinner. Somewhere in the middle, you were unable to know if you wished to find Jaehyun to kiss or to torture him. All you knew was that you had failed both as a hunter and an alpha. You even had the hypocrisy to feel offended that he left, because, by leaving, he was denying you and everything you could be.

They said that when an alpha crossed ways with their omega, they felt like giving them the world. Like protecting them with the strength of their arms and the sharpness of their minds. It was what being a mate meant: a strong and undeniable bond, crafted by the angels of love and desire, to create roots so firmly into the ground that no one and nothing could stand between them.

You lied to yourself by thinking Jaehyun was all about the hunt. Deep inside, you knew he was far more than that. You knew your anguish and anger meant you hated that he was far away from you.

[No sign of him?]

[Not a shred.] Taeyong texted you back.

You wanted to scream, but decided to have a pistachio ice cream by the beach instead, angrily kicking the rocks with your feet as the sun shone — as though it had any reason to.

Where the fuck was him? Where the fuck was your omega?

How quickly you grabbed your phone after it vibrated on your pants pocket was insane. “Got any news?”

“Yes, Jaehyun’s back!” Haechan replied.

At daylight's speed, you ran to the shop. The purple shadows of dusk covered your hurried pace, legs burning all the way down the dark paths of your desire, your voice demanding under your breath when you walked in. “Where is him?”

Haechan readily got up, motioning for you to come with him. “In the back.”

Obediently, you followed him like a dog after a treat. It was only when you were inside the room where Haechan stored the toys that you noticed something was awfully wrong. However, you had no time to act on it.

Haechan had already handcuffed and locked you inside.

What happened next was something you would never imagine. The purry but also mischievous Haechan really commanded you around.

“You have to stay silent if you want to see Jaehyun,” he explained while blindfolding you. Needless to say he had already grabbed your phone and you were helpless, unable to call for help. Not that you would make a scandal, because now you were curious what that was all about. “I’ll drive you to him, but you have to behave.”

“When this is over, I’ll come to get you,” you growled, even though you did not mean what you said.

“Whatever.”

Humans.

It was night when Haechan led you to a car, putting you on the back and cuffing your ankles too. “Why are you doing all this?” You asked calmly. If Jaehyun had planned all that, you knew you did not need to fear. “Can’t you be civilized?”

Even if you couldn’t see him, you swore Haechan rolled his eyes. “I don’t trust you, Y/N. You’re mean and manipulative, and I’m just doing this because Jaehyun wants to talk to you. But I’ll do it my way.”

Exactly like you had suspected.

Much to Haechan’s delight, you managed to stay quiet for the whole trip. Not knowing where you were going to really bothered you, your instincts found such helplessness absurd, but you knew it was going to pay off if you saw Jaehyun again.

It took hours. And hours. But you finally arrived.

Haechan led you to what seemed like a house, and soon enough you were alone in a room, sitting on a chair. After a few minutes, your senses captured another presence, and the way your heart soothed told you everything you needed to know.

You felt some strange type of relief shivering down your spine, and said nothing. Let him speak.

“I hope the cuffs are not too tight. Are they burning?” Jaehyun asked, and you could have moaned at the mere sound of his voice.

“Oh, you made such a fool out of me… And now you’re trying to be gentle,” you chuckled sourly.

“I’ve always been gentle,” Jaehyun retorted. “But you were hunting me, and I’d rather make a fool out of you than fool myself.”

“I can’t make fun of that. Can I see, please?”

Jaehyun readily complied, removing the blindfold. You tried opening your eyes, but sunlight caught them unprepared. Slowly, as your eyes adjusted, you noticed Jaehyun was in an armchair right in front of you. He looked at you worriedly. His presence had you so focused you only noticed you were in a living room seconds later.

“What’s your plan now? Turn me in to the rebels?” you asked. There were illegal communities of beta and omegas who had rebelled against the capital.

“No,” Jaehyun said. “I want to talk to you. Omega to alpha.”

“All this for talking?” You nearly spat, a strand of your hair landing on your face.

Gently, Jaehyun leaned over to tuck it behind your ear. “I didn’t know how you were going to react, Y/N. You had all the power back then, and I needed to make sure I was not at risk. I told Haechan to be nice to you. I really meant no harm. I’m sorry about that..”

You breathed. “Go on. I don’t think there’s anything else I can do but listen.”

“I want you to listen openly. I know I’ve deceived you, but I really want us to get to an agreement. That’s why I brought you here.”

You let his words sink in, sure you looked quite ridiculous, all cuffed, unable to defend yourself. “Why, Jaehyun?”

His eyes almost faltered, but did not leave yours. “Because I like you.”

As if you were in middle school, your heart beat so fast it could have climbed up your throat. How silly it was, to be liked. To be adored, admired, to be wanted around. How stupid it was, to be responsive to one’s liking. To think you had finally found your mate after years of loneliness and pain, divided between who you truly were and who you could have been.

It was almost cruel, how Jaehyun messed up with the roughness it took you years to build.

His hands shook. Your scent in such a closed, small space was making it harder for him to think. “I’ve liked you since the day you first walked in the shop. I know you’re hurt by your own status, just like I have been, and I think I can help. Please, Y/N, let me offer you a different point of view. Let me convince you you don’t have to hurt others to be happy.”

“You lied to me. You and bloody Haechan.”

“You lied to me too. You’ve even stolen my suppressants, which is far worse in my humble opinion,” Jaehyun reminded you with the calmest of tones. “But I am here, ready to give you a second chance. All I ask is for you to give me one too.”

You simply stared at him. Your eyes resembled a sky that had both light and heavy clouds, with glimpses of sun and rain. An intrinsic inner battle. Finally, you acquiesced with your chin. “Go on.”

Jaehyun fixed his glasses before speaking. “I know I’m more than a pup maker. I have dreams. I want a good life, with friends I can count on, a life where I can be safe and have the same rights as anyone else. And if I ever have pups with someone, then it will be because we both agreed on it,” he breathed, sincerity dripping from his lips like wine. “That’s why I ran away and why I will not let you hunt me that easily. I don’t know what happened to you, but I’m sure life as a female alpha takes a heavy toll. Whatever you went through, you deserve healing. You deserve to be heard and validated, Y/N. It is not others that dictate how you should live. What you want matters.”

His entire speech was like seeds of roses planted in the confinements of your chest. “How we should live is beyond us,” you spoke skeptically.

“Only because you choose to believe so,” Jaehyun disagreed. “If I had, I would certainly not be here. If you do, you’ll see hurting others is not your only option.”

How could Jaehyun be so understanding, so forgivable, so lovely? How could he offer you a chance of redemption? It amazed you. Badly. You breathed every particle of the room inside your lungs, so deep it was the first time you smelled the musky, leathery scent coming from the man in front of you.

The suppressants’ effects… They were low. Almost non-existing.

Jung Jaehyun smelled like the rawest of desires.

“If I decide to trust you, what’s it going to be?” you asked, pretending you were not lightheaded.

“We leave here together,” Jaehyun proposed. “And I promise you’ll have all the safety you need by my side.”

Most alphas would have laughed at the perspective of finding safety on an omega, but you did not. You tasted it. How good it would be, to have someone you could rely on. Someone patient, strong, who added to your dreams and aspirations. Someone you could be yourself with.

Your eyes softened, your wrists relaxing inside the cuffs. “Let me go, then.”

“Do you really accept it?” Jaehyun carefully confirmed.

The air stood dense between you two, hanging like a sword on a wall, an icicle on the top of a cave, and also like a gentle caress coming from a waiting hand.

You nodded. “I do.”

He stood up and approached the chair slowly. As his hands uncuffed you, you paid attention to the slenderness of his fingers. His musky scent was messing up with your head, your veins pumping blood to your lower body, even though you resisted the natural urge to touch Jaehyun whole as he uncuffed you like a real gentleman would.

Once you were free, he gazed at the reddened skin of your wrists. In an act that apparently was beyond any reasoning, Jaehyun gently brought them to his lips, pressing a chaste kiss to where the metal had left a slight burn.

Your lips shook with the force of your breath. The man was crazy, a soft freak and a lord all together. With every passing second, you wanted him more and more. Holding his silky gaze, you mustered a grin before abruptly grabbing the hair on his nape and pulling Jaehyun down to his knees.

His eyes widened in fear.

“You’re so fucking naive,” you scolded. “Next time, think twice before trusting an alpha. Not everyone is like me,” you let your grip loosen, helping him stand up once again. “Promise me.”

His pupils adjusted back into a soft gaze. “You scared me,” he admitted.

“That’s the idea. Promise me.”

“I promise. I’ll be more careful.”

It was what you wanted to hear. Slowly, Jaehyun’s fingers returned to the gentle, languid caresses on your wrists.

“I suggest you back off if you don’t wish to be claimed,” you sighed.

His eyes had darkened at your words, his Adam’s apple tensing as he pulled his hands away in a respectful manner. “As I said, I like you, Y/N. Genuinely.”

Affection was a new, alien thing to you. However, your instincts encouraged you to embrace it, even if at your own pace and time.

“We both have instincts that can rush things. I’d be careful,” you explained, smoothly brushing his hair back. How the silky strands slid between your fingers felt like touching the clouds.

“You’re scared of love,” Jaehyun concluded, making you smile frankly.

“Aren’t you?”

“No. I’d happily give myself to a good alpha if we loved each other. I believe in long-lasting, healthy relationships.”

Your smile faltered. “I don’t think the world is ready for that, Jaehyun.”

“I don’t need it to be.”

You averted your gaze to the window. There was a sunny road outside, with few cars passing.

Minutes ago, you decided to leave the house. Jaehyun took you to a car, an old yet functional Chevy Impala.

“Where’s Haechan?” you asked.

“In his parents’ house. He was born here.”

You hummed, getting into the passenger seat. “He won’t be coming back with us, I hope?”

“No,” Jaehyun shook his head, already in the driver seat. “Also, don’t be mad at him, Y/N. He didn’t know I was an omega until I found out you had stolen my suppressants. And as weird as it was, Haechan was very willing to help. We thought it’d be better to take you somewhere far away, because you’d have less advantages.”

“I might forgive him for a few things,” you cooed, then looked over as Jaehyun started the engine, his fingers grabbing the wheel firmly. “What about your suppressants?”

“I’ve got a few more left,” Jaehyun replied. “But since you stole all of my supply and Jaemin is probably in prison now, I have to be careful.”

“Didn’t have any luck finding another provider?”

“As if I’m telling you,” Jaehyun chuckled.

You laughed along. “It’s my job, you know that, right?”

“Yeah,” his tone was slightly more serious now, as he drove through the peaceful streets. “What did you do before hunting?”

“My dad had a law office. I studied law too, but never quite liked it.”

“What do you like, then?”

You caught your breath, your voice two tones lower, almost inaudible. “Baking.”

Jaehyun’s eyebrows lifted in sweet surprise. “Like, baking bread?”

“Baking cakes. I’m really good at it,” you admitted, looking down at your hands. You had always been ridiculed because of your hobby. Your father, brothers and sisters constantly accused you of wasting your time with such stupidities. Alphas were born for high power positions: politicians, lawyers, doctors, CEOs… But baking cakes? That was a job for omegas. The weakest of the weak. You were taught that, even if you did not fully agree. The only person who supported you was your mother, because she expressed her love through the awesome, homemade dishes she cooked. However, as your mom had passed and you grew older, you preferred putting your efforts into something more socially accepted than to perceive the distant dream of having a bakery — even if you felt truly accomplished whenever you looked at a cake you had baked.

“That’s so nice!” Jaehyun encouraged. “What’s your best cake?”

Your heart fluttered at his genuine curiosity, making you bite the inside of your cheek. “Pistachio.”

“I love pistachio!” the man cooed excitedly. “I’d like to try it if you're okay with it.”

“I haven’t baked in forever,” you mentioned.

“Well, you have time now that you don’t have to hunt me,” he chuckled.

As the morning turned into afternoon and the sky was outlined with purple clouds, you noticed Jaehyun had driven considerably. By the corner of your eye, you caught him yawning sleepily. Shifting in the passenger's seat, you hummed. “Let me drive for a little.”

“I’m fine.”

“You want me to trust you but can’t trust me?” you pricked.

Jaehyun fixed his glasses. Such a cute habit he had. “Well, you’re the deadly one.”

“What you did to me can easily be considered kidnapping, Jaehyun.”

“But you know it was not like that, right? I mean, do you feel kidnapped?” he asked to be sure, making you chuckle.

“People have done worse things to me. Come on, let me drive.”

“Don’t worry,” he insisted. “What worse things?”

“I might tell you one day.”

You waited for the purple sky to turn dark with sparkling stars. You waited for the breeze to turn colder. You waited until Jaehyun just couldn’t take it anymore.

“Get some sleep,” you encouraged as you changed seats, holding his cautious gaze. “It’s fine, Jae. Trust me.”

Stubbornly, Jaehyun fought his own tiredness even after you were driving. His eyes got swollen from tiredness, his yawns became more frequent, and he pinched his own cheeks in an attempt to stay awake for a little longer, as if he feared you were going to disappear if he slept.

But it was quite the opposite, because when he finally closed his eyes and peacefully slept on the passenger seat, you knew you never wished to stay away from him.

The flowers swayed with the wind, and so did his hair. Jaehyun had not remembered arriving to the fields, but we couldn’t care less about the reason: you were right by his side, and it was all that mattered. “These are beautiful.” With a grin, you leaned closer to smell an orange tree flower. The hot shades of sunset matched you like an artist’s masterpiece, Jaehyun thought while relishing in the image of you acting so free. He wished nothing but to let you be.

“Just like you,” he whispered, another lovely flower blossoming between his fourth and fifth ribs.

You straightened yourself, coming closer to him and swiftly removing the glasses from his face. Jaehyun almost forgot how to breathe with you so close, your orange perfume making his head spin, his fingers shaking in nervousness. Your face got closer, and closer, and then…

And then he felt a hand on his shoulders, shaking softly. “Jaehyun,” your voice called, but did not come out of the image in front of him. “Jaehyun, we’ve arrived. Wake up.”

Untangling himself from his dream, Jaehyun swore the oranges still smelled fresh on his nose, and that he could feel the temperature of your breath against his cheek. It was just wishful thinking, though, because you were sitting on the driver seat. It was dark night and the car was parked right in front of your house.

“For how long did I sleep?” he cleared his throat, relieved that you were both back in town.

“Not enough,” you replied shortly. “Take some rest tonight.”

“I'll try to,” he breathed. Oranges. Oranges everywhere making him crave you like the trees craved the rain to flourish. “Can I see you tomorrow?”

“You can.” You opened the car door to leave, shivering when the piercing cold breeze hit your skin and thundered on your bones.

Extremely sensitive, Jaehyun jumped from the car and hushed to your side. Without a word, he removed his hoodie and handed it over to you. You stared in awe, eyes big with admiration and delight, as if he had achieved global peace or discovered the cure to every disease. “What’s that for?” you asked.

“I don’t want you feeling cold.”

“Jaehyun, I’m like, eight meters away from my door.”

“Eight cold meters.”

Slowly, you grabbed the piece of clothing. It was impossible that someone was that amazing and kind-hearted. You had never met anyone like Jaehyun before, and it made you feel something in your chest that was strange, foreign, almost agonizing. You could not name it.

You put the hoodie on in front of him, pretending not to notice his pupils widening at the sight of you wearing something his. The musk, leathery scent was all around you again, making you almost bounce on your feet out of excitement. “Thank you,” you murmured.

“Not at all.” His features suddenly changed, as though he remembered something. “Ah, here’s your cell phone,” Jaehyun grabbed it from his back pocket, and your fingers brushed when you took it in your hands. “Sleep well, Y/N,” was the last thing Jaehyun said before entering the car to drive to his house — only after you had come inside, of course.

You locked the door and pressed your back to it, closing your eyes as though you needed the dark and the silence to absorb everything that happened in the past hours. Jaehyun had maneuvered you in ways you couldn’t possibly imagine, and it was both revolting and pleasing. How willing he was to just be with you, with raw sincerity in his eyes, shook you to the core. It made your bones soft and your resolve like water, flowing, delicate, transpassing obstacles.

Such a weak alpha you were, afraid to act on what you truly desired.

Because it was clear, once you pulled the fabric of his hoodie to your nose, that you wanted him. That you were meant to be.

That he was your mate.

What you felt on your chest, you then knew, was hope.

The next day, shortly after you woke up, your phone vibrated on the bedside table.

[Do you like picnics?]

[I do.]

[Great. I’ll pick you up at 1PM].

Punctually, Jaehyun knocked on your door. Punctually, you opened it, surprising him with two things. The first one was that he had never seen you dressed so casually, with high-waisted jeans, a plain black shirt and white sneakers, hair in a simple bun allowing the sight of delicate earrings hanging from your ears. The second thing was that you held a small tray in your hand, covered by a gingham cloth, that smelled precisely like pistachio.

“You baked? Seriously?” Jaehyun’s eyes widened, and he hid his gracious smile behind his hand, causing your heartbeat to quicken.

“If you’re going to act this fucking cute I’ll just leave the cake here,” you replied impulsively, unsure of how to deal with what sounded like praise.

“Please, don’t!” In a heartbeat, Jaehyun lowered his hand and straightened himself. Deep inside his chest bones, his heart fluttered. You had baked for him. “I just didn’t expect it. Thank you.”

You nodded somehow sternly. A little voice inside your consciousness blamed you for being so rigid.

“Come,” Jaehyun offered you a smile, stepping aside so you could follow him to the Chevy Impala.

“Where are we going?” you inquired.

“You’ll see.”

Surprises made you uneasy. As did not being in control. However, for Jaehyun, you made a little effort — you knew it was important for him to make decisions. Thankfully, it paid off, because the car rode all the way up the hills until it reached the top of a cliff. It was easily one of the most beautiful sights you had ever put your eyes on, something only the countryside could offer, with sunlight rays dancing with the velvety waves, the foam kissing the beach like a devoted lover’s embrace.

“What’s wrong with your jaw?” Jaehyun chuckled, making you notice your mouth was agape. You also remembered it had been the first thing you asked him.

“This is beautiful,” you commented, the corners of your lips lifting in a discreet smile.

“It is, right?” Jaehyun sighed. The breeze lifted his hair slightly as he grabbed a basket from the backseat, and a towel that matched the cloth on your tray. He then proceeded to spread the towel on the ground and remove the things he had brought: homemade sandwiches with cheese, pesto and tomatoes, strawberries and peaches, orange juice and a local brand of chocolate you had never seen. You joined him, placing your tray on the towel and removing the cloth to reveal a small pistachio cake covered in buttercream. It might have taken you hours to get it done. “Let’s eat!”

You crossed your legs on the towel, reaching for the sandwich while Jaehyun poured you juice. As you took a bite, your mouth was filled with delectable flavorsome layers that reminded you of your mother. The care in each slice of cheese, the carefulness in dosing the olive oil for the pesto, and the perfectly smoked tomatoes sharpened your taste, causing your eyes to water. Uncontrollably, you chuckled out of joy.

Jaehyun joined you, a face so pure and glad it seemed to shine like the ocean waves. He was just… Just so soft-looking you wanted to squish his cheeks and kiss his forehead. “What? Is it good?”

“It kind of… It kind of reminds me of my mother,” you replied, comfortable enough to share something so private it weighed like a pirate’s treasure in your chest.

“Really? Does she cook for you?”

You took another bite. “She did, when she was alive. I guess it was her love language. In fact, she was the only one who supported me baking.”

Jaehyun looked carefully at you. “I’m sorry. Losing her might have been hard.”

“The hardest thing I’ve ever been through,” you admitted, contemplating the ethereal sight in the harmonic horizon. It was only now that Jaehyun listened that you realized how badly you’d been wanting to talk about your mother, as if the filter between your mind and brain stopped functioning. How could you keep secrets from the only person destined to you? Mates shared. Mates understood. “She died while trying to give birth to my ninth brother.”

“How old were you?”

“Thirteen. That’s why I decided to work with anything that didn’t have to do with getting pregnant.” Your eyes, frank, held his gaze.

Jaehyun nodded, and said nothing for a while. “How many omegas have you hunted, Y/N?”

“About a hundred.”

“And how do you feel about it?”

“It’s a heavy guilt to carry on my shoulder, but it does seem small in comparison to a lifetime being used for my body. I know it sounds hypocritical, and it probably is, but it was my choice,” you replied.

“I don’t blame you,” Jaehyun took a bite on the sandwich, using his thumb to wipe off the pesto at the corner of his lower lip. “It’s hard to see beyond the rules.”

“What about you? What’s your background?”

He took a deep breath. “I was born and raised in the capital. Went to a boy’s school. You know how alphas, betas and omegas had classes together, right? Since then I couldn’t understand why alphas always bullied others and got away with it. If I opened my mouth, I was arrogant and full of myself, but if an alpha spoke, he was powerful, opinionated, and influential. I was bullied a lot for just being me, you know? Of course I spoke back, so I was in trouble quite often, being threatened and stuff. My mom and dad were very supportive of me, we had to move a few times…”

Empathetically, you wondered what it meant for an omega to constantly move. They were highly adaptable, but sought for stability and safety.

“So when I heard that omegas were rebelling and moving to the countryside to build their own lives, I didn’t think twice,” Jaehyun concluded. “I’ve been happier ever since.”

“Your parents might be nice people,” you commented, reaching for a peach. “Do you miss them?”

“Everyday,” Jaehyun smiled. “I call them on a weekly basis, so we’re fine.”

“That’s lovely.”

“What about you? Do you keep in touch with your family?”

You shook your head. “I don’t speak to my dad. We’ve always been the perfect alpha family, but it came with a high cost. My mom was always pregnant, even when she was tired and getting too old to bear. Dad thought it was her job, and we did too. But now… Now I understand she suffered alone.”

The salty breeze gently touched your faces and clothes as you shared confidences. Jaehyun’s understanding soothed you. He made you feel at ease, like sharing your experience was natural and necessary. You liked it.

“You were just a kid, Y/N.”

“I know.” A small smile bloomed on your lips. “I try not to blame myself. All I want is to live differently.”

And that he understood. “I’d say the more we live differently, the more we show others that it’s possible,” Jaehyun said while slicing the cake.

“You’re not wrong.”

It made butterflies fly in your stomach when he chewed on the cake with a content moan, his eyes closing and his eyebrows furrowing at the delicacy in his mouth. When his eyes opened again, Jaehyun’s brown irises reflected light as if the sun had set within his soul.

There were no words to describe that day but lovely, dear and sincere. You had never been on a date with someone before, at least not one where you saw yourself free from the norms of your status. There had been no need for you to be aggressive or demanding, like alphas were portrayed, and instead of playing the role of the needy submissive omega, Jaehyun was just… Normal. Respectful, wise, and so cool you admired him as a person.

You spent the entire afternoon sharing stories, talking about hobbies — he told you about his vinyls and you told him about baking — and contemplating nature. Time by his side seemed to pass two times faster.

“Thanks for today, Y/N,” Jaehyun smiled once you were in front of your door. “Thanks for trusting me and giving me a chance.”

“Thank you,” you emphasized. “I really had fun. Next time is on me.”

At your words, Jaehyun’s face lit up. You reacted too, your heart beating so fast you shivered, nearly forgetting how to breathe when his scent felt suddenly stronger to your heightened olfactory senses. He got so excited with the idea of you meeting again that his scent exhaled twice as freely.

Even if you liked to think you mustered enough self control to resist him, your body surrendered to arousal in no time. You closed your eyes, clenching your hands into fists.

“Y/N, is everything okay?” You only registered Jaehyun’s worried tone before replying.

“You’re practically rubbing your scent on my face right now,” you admitted, aware that as an instant response, your pheromones started exhaling too, mainly from your neck and inner thighs. Your bodies functionated beyond your reasoning, blood running warm and fast, desiring to mate, to be tangled to one another. A biological necessity to be all over him, and to protect Jaehyun with tooth and nail. It was how scent glands worked, releasing pleasurable smells that expressed raw bodily and emotional needs.

Your eyes opened, trying to gather some control even though they were sedated by desire.

Jaehyun’s ears were once again red. “M-my heat is approaching,” he muttered. “And you’re close to me, s-“ Jaehyun stopped himself. Now, he smelled your scent twice as strong too, a scent that was alluring and dominant. Perfect for him. “Fuck, you smell so good,” he praised without noticing, mouth numb with craving.

Only God knew how badly you were trying to control yourself. “Go home, Jaehyun,” you said authoritatively.

“Y-yes“ he stuttered, cheeks as red as his ears. “I should, right?”

“Absolutely,” you nodded firmly. “If you don’t want me to mark scent you, you fucking should.”

Jaehyun nearly grunted, both because of your intentions, and because of how seductive your voice sounded when you cursed. “What if I want to?” He asked.

Motherfucker.

And you loved it.

“You’re aware that mark scenting you can easily trigger your heat, right? And that your heat can cause me to go into a rut.” You reached for his wrist, simply holding it in place. Ruts had a similar purpose to heats, to find a mate and breed, even if contraceptive methods could keep you from getting pregnant. “That isn’t a nice idea, is it?”

“It’s a perfect idea,” Jaehyun challenged.

“You’re playing with me,” you warned. “Even if I’m being nice and collected, I’m still an alpha. I can be dangerous, Jaehyun.”

His gaze pierced yours with the firmness of a grip, and you knew he was about to say something to break your resolve before he even opened his mouth. “What kind of danger my mate can possibly put me in?”

Snapping, your grip on Jaehyun’s wrist pulled him flush to you. Your chests collided and your breaths violently mixed before you grabbed the hair on his nape and tugged hard, tilting his head to the side. His exposed neck made you groan lowly, the musky scent directly wetting your undies. You had to mark him so bad it ached in your guts, and the moment you stuck your tongue out and gave a broad lick on his skin, your body shivered, your nipples hardened and your hip rubbed the volume in Jaehyun’s pants.

“Fuck, Y/N,” he trembled.

“Shh, quiet” you instructed, in charge, breath blowing against the wet trail left on his skin. “Just feel it.”

You lifted your weight on the tip of your toes and rubbed your neck against Jaehyun’s, warm skin against warm skin. Parents scented their children, friends scented friends, packmates scented packmates — but scenting between mates was a whole different thing, an encounter of souls wrapped in animalistic bodies. It felt like your soul was touched for the first time, as you left your scent on Jaehyun’s neck, marking him as yours, telling others that he belonged to you. And he felt it too, a sensation so deep in his guts resembling the coziness of an established home. As though he never had to move in his entire life. Ever.

It was so intimate you felt naked in front of each other.

Slowly, Jaehyun’s hands found support on your waist. The grip on his nape softened, and soon he was rubbing his face against yours affectionately, cheeks brushing in a loving manner that made you flush. His heat was closer than ever, but this time it was different: heats usually led Jaehyun to lock himself in a room, surrounded by sex toys, a slave to the basic needs of his body to mate and find relief. However, with you he felt… Shit, he felt loved and taken care of, and it only amplified his craving. It was better, it was whole. It was mating.

“I love this,” he admitted.

You grinned, letting your nails scratch his neck gently. His cute shivers widened your smile. “Me too.”

Jaehyun wet his lips with his tongue. “Can I see you again tomorrow?”

You could not precise how exactly you loved that he did not intend on having sex with you that night. It was so much better that way, especially compared to the expectations of sexually aggressive alphas taking their pleasure as soon as possible. His question meant that you could take your time, because there was no running and hiding. You’d be together time and time again, until it felt like the moment was right.

“You can,” you chuckled, and yet another alien feeling assaulted your heart.

You suspected it was called happiness.

Hours later, you got out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around your body and the silliest of smiles on your face. The euphoria of finding your mate was real, so carved it could be felt in the flesh, like an iron bullet. Your heart, toughened by time, prejudice and rage, now opened its arms to enjoy a feeling so holy you could crown it as your favorite.

You had a mate. And your scent was on him.

You could still feel Jaehyun’s perfume on you too, and all over the hoodie you had kept by your pillow, to smell him again and again.

For the first time in years, you were soft.

“Whipped,” you accused playfully as you looked at your image in the mirror, wondering how Jaehyun was feeling at that exact moment. You wanted to know. So, without further thought, you grabbed your phone to text him — and you would have, if other messages did not steal your attention. Messages sent by Taeyong.

[We found an omega pack hiding in a nearby city from where you are.

We’re gonna need you to come with us, so backups were sent to help you with Jaehyun.

We’ll be there tomorrow.]

You swallowed thickly, your heart faltering, your hands shaking. It could not be. You could not let Jaehyun get caught. You could not lose him now.

Or maybe… Maybe you were being stupid risking your own life and position for… For love.

Taking a deep breath, you started typing.

[Appreciate that. See you tomorrow.]

Jaehyun was God’s favorite. He was God’s most loved child, because only he was allowed to step in Her fluffiest clouds. The luckiest man alive, one of the few creatures that experienced love’s fingers opening him inside out.

And oh, it was almost killing him.

He would do anything for you: walk for miles, cry for centuries, write your name in a paper for eternity... All the letters, time after time, carved in his wrists, his thighs, his bones. You were his and he was yours, as the lovely scent on his neck reminded him with each breath. Summer lived in him like it had never done before.

Now, he felt less judgmental of the omegas that craved for an alpha. Needless to say he was excited for what you’d do the next day after your date at the cliff, restless even, taking pleasure in the simple act of breathing, knowing you had left your scent on his skin.

Scent marking an omega really could trigger their heats, and Jaehyun knew that his was lurking dangerously, ready to flourish. The signs left no doubt.

Firstly, he desired a safe space: somewhere with dim lighting, where he could surround himself with objects that smelled like you — shirts, pillows, your leather jacket and biker gloves, and even plushies, if you ever agreed to give those to him. His senses, too, were twice as sharpened: a primal state of animalistic instincts blooming along his consciousness, to protect him from undesired alphas. His mind was slightly hazy as well, and even if he was excited for your third date, the cold, feverish shivers running down his spine worried him.

He couldn’t surrender to his heat. Not now. Not when he was so determined to make you understand he liked you not because you were an alpha, not because he desired you sexually and biologically. Jaehyun needed you to understand he liked you, wholly, for who you were.

So, when you knocked on his door the following day, he opened it with blushy cheeks, bouncing on his feet out of nervousness.

“Jaehyun?” your eyes tightened. You looked fresh, hair swaying with the breeze, orange trees offering him shadow, calm, and absolute hell all together. “Are you going into heat?”

He groaned in frustration. “Then it is obvious.”

You looked around before stepping inside, closing the door behind your back. “I got new suppressants for you.” You opened your palm, handing him one of the blister packs he was so used to.

Jaehyun stared down at your hand. Even if he wished his heat could wait a little longer, your suggestion felt like a crime, especially now that you were there, in his home, gorgeous and strong. Why should he hold back? Why did he have to behave now that he could finally let himself go with you?

“I don’t want it.”

You blinked, surprised. “Sorry?”

“I don’t want it, Y/N,” he repeated, lifting his gaze to yours. “We don’t have to suppress our instincts anymore. We’ve found each other.”

Your breath was long and strong, strangely raspy. “Take these, just this time.”

“What is it, Y/N? Are you scared you’re going to hurt me? That I will induce you into a rut?” Jaehyun stepped closer, cupping your cheeks with his hands and looking deep into your eyes, trying to understand. “Are you scared you’re going to get pregnant? I’d never do that to you, Y/N. We can use protection.”

You closed your eyes shut as though his touch hurt. When they opened, it felt like you were both begging and suffering. Jaehyun could feel his body combusting, his blood running faster, a thin layer of sweat glistening in his forehead. “Jaehyun, please, you have to believe me. Promise me.”

Your words made no sense.

“What are you talking about?” he asked with the softest of tones.

In one second, you had taken him down in a swift move. Jaehyun’s chest met the floor as you forced your knee painfully on his back, making him yell in surprise. His glasses slid down his nose to the floor. You took the chance to slide a pill inside his mouth, forcefully pressing the palm of your hand against his lips as he squirmed on the floor.

You… You were hurting him.

“Swallow,” you demanded coldly.

Out of fear, Jaehyun obeyed.

Why were you hurting him?

The metallic sound of handcuffs made his throat tight. It was hard to breath. Jaehyun looked over his shoulder, still slightly confused, his dear eyes vulnerable. He only fully understood what was happening when the front door of his house opened, and a male alpha looked down at him.

“It wasn’t that hard, was it?” the man chuckled, crossing his arms in front of his chest.

“Piece of cake,” you stood up, placing a heavy boot on Jaehyun’s back to keep him in place. Even your voice sounded different, distant. “He was practically begging to be fucked.”

Jaehyun’s heart… It broke in tiny little pieces, like glass poured all over the floor. The evidence of a slaughter.

“What won’t they do for pussy, hm? You really thought Y/N was into you? So many others did too…” The alpha male approached him, grabbing Jaehyun by the arm and helping him stand up. You stood right by his side, with the most devilish smile on your face.

When in heat, omegas were not helpless creatures, defenseless, sex slaves that submitted to anyone. They were primal, violent, and almost as deadly as alphas. So, once he was back on his feet, Jaehyun snapped. He took the male omega to his knees with only one kick of his legs, hitting his temple with the force of his knee. The man fell on his side, using his hand to support his weight precisely on Jaehyun’s glasses. Then, Jaehyun turned to you, and oh, he wished he could hurt you. He wished he could bite you raw, to bury his teeth into your neck and have you killed, but he could not.

You were the worst person he had ever met, and yet Jung Jaehyun could not act as though he didn’t love you.

He fell to his knees, tears running down his eyes. “You…” he sobbed, eyes wet with crystal salt. “You’re awful.” And evil, and mean, loathsome, disgusting, vile… All those things you were. But Jaehyun couldn’t speak. His throat hurt.

The male alpha stood up with a grunt, and was about to retaliate when you raised your hand.

“What use is he if you damage his body? We’ve already got what we need, Doyun.”

The blurriness in Jaehyun’s eyes did not allow him to fully visualize how his capture went. He felt strange hands on his back. He felt someone kicking him inside a car, and knew that someone started driving, leaving the town behind.

You were not there anymore.

Jaehyun had heard stories about omegas that were sent back to the capital. The hunters drove them to specific centers to get them tested and check their fertility levels. Said omegas were constantly watched, sleeping in cold cells until they were designated an alpha who matched their characteristics. However, even with the best attempts to match compatible alphas to omegas, it did not work out. It was not unusual for alphas to get hurt after trying to touch omegas: some were bitten like dogs, others scratched so deeply their skin bled, and others even carried scars, forever imprinted in their bodies. So, naturally, omegas were tied up while mating.

It was no different from rape.

Jaehyun wondered how you could have done that to him, just like you did to a hundred other omegas.

It was raining like it usually did in the capital, droplets falling through the skyscrapers, painted red, yellow and green from semaphores, shining neon on outdoors, as people went by as if nothing was wrong. Rats ate at the garbage in the sidewalks, the poor begged for food, and young girls and boys sold their sensuality at the corner of the streets, hovering seductively at the drivers who stopped at a red sign. Without the assistance of his glasses, the capital just looked darker than a nightmare, blurred and agonizing.

Jaehyun held back his tears. They were hard to swallow.

At least, the suppressant heat pill you had made him swallow was like a blessing.

But fuck you. Fuck you a thousand times!

He was never going to love again. Jaehyun was never going to be such an idiot. Such a naive fool.

He breathed hard under his nose, calling the attention of an alpha male that kept an eye on him. This one was smaller than the guy Jaeyun had kicked, with big doe eyes and blue hair.

“Hard time?” the man asked.

Jaehyun did not reply.

“I’m Taeyong,” the man insisted.

“Why would it matter what your name is?”

“Ouch,” Taeyong hissed. “It matters a lot. You’ll see.”

Jaehyun remained silent. He merely shifted on the seat, muscles tense and uncomfortable as his arms stood cuffed behind his back.

A few minutes later, the car came to a stop, then proceeded to enter an underground garage. The driver, another alpha Jaehyun had not seen until that moment, jumped out before opening the back door.

“Get out, loser,” he commanded, and Jaehyun had no choice but to obey.

He was given white clothing — plain shirts, pants, socks and sneakers —, that he wore without a word. Then, Jaehyun was taken to a room where a female alpha asked him a few questions. Did he have any diseases? When was his last heat? Was he sexually active? Was he on suppressants? Generic or branded? Did he ever take a fertility test?

Jaehyun answered honestly, speaking calmly even if he had the worst headache, caused by the lack of his glasses. Whatever he said, he knew tests were to be taken to either prove or deny his words.

The female alpha took notes and handed Jaehyun a paper. “You’ll be taking medical exams tomorrow. Please be aware of the requirements.”

Next, the guards took him to a cell, neater than his imagination could muster, with a single bed and a small bathroom he could use. Fucking government money. While the poor suffered and starved, the government raised buildings like that one, keeping them clean and equipped.

One of the guards brought Jaehyun dinner, some stew with vegetables, and a plastic glass filled with grape juice. Jaehyun did not touch it, even if his stomach growled.

“You better eat on your own before I have to force you,” the guard warned. They both knew a meal was necessary for his medical exams to come out with correct results.

The last thing Jaehyun wanted was any type of violence. So he ate, even when his throat was so tight he felt barely like breathing. He ate obediently, like every omega stereotype he fought against.

When the sun rose and he had barely closed his eyes, Jaehyun was taken to the medical wing. Every detail screamed such hygienic excellence he wished to vomit on its torturing, endless whiteness.

The nurse took his blood. His urine.

“We’ll need your sperm now,” the nurse explained as he guided Jaehyun to a separate room. He was an omega too, a young boy. “What scents do you feel the most attracted to?”

A scent like fading into sleep beneath the hot sun. An alluring adventure, a midday reverie. Orange-like, passionate, summerly.

“None in particular.”

“It will be better if you collaborate, honey. You smell like oranges, but I sense it is a scent that doesn’t belong to you. Would it work for you if you smelled it?”

Jaehyun’s heartbeat quickened and his knees seemed to pull him down. It was sad, how he had lost hope in himself.

Looking at his feet, he nodded.

The nurse opened a wardrobe that contained several rows of perfume bottles, all labeled with their respective scents. “I’ll apply some on you, and then you'll have some privacy. Just make sure to cum on this flask. Later, you can immediately take your suppressants, to stop any heat trigger.”

The flask weighed like nothing on Jaehyun’s palm. “Why do you do this? he asked the nurse.

“This what?”

“Why do you help the ones that violate you?”

The omega’s eyes clenched in confusion. “It’s our role. God made us this way, didn’t He?”

Jaehyun wanted to say God was nothing like that. God was something else.

Something that reminded him of orange trees.

The exams told no lies: Jaehyun was highly fertile, with a concentrated sperm that promised many and many pups to aid the population. That meant he had to be paired with a mate as soon as possible.

After two days in that cell, the guard came to take him out. “Time to meet your mate.”

So that would be it. Jaehyun was going to be matched with an alpha he had never seen before. Someone who was not you. He swallowed harshly as he stepped out of the cell, joining the guard on the way to the elevator. Every step he took towards his destiny ached.

And then, he heard a familiar voice. “What are you doing, huh?”

“Ah, Taeyong!” the guard exclaimed. “Is anything wrong?”

“Yes. The test results for this guy are wrong. Some confusion was made, you see. I have to take him back to testing,” Taeyong explained. “Mister Park’s orders.”

The guard politely stepped aside. “As you wish.”

“Come,” Taeyong hummed, placing a hand on Jaehyun’s nape to guide him over the elevator. But, at the last minute, Taeyong looked over his shoulder to make sure no one else was watching, and quickly pulled Jaehyun towards the stairs down to the parking lot. “Come on, we gotta be fast.”

“Fast for what?” Jaehyun asked.

“For escaping, dumbass.”

Wide-eyed, Jaehyun tried to listen to his intuition. He didn’t want to be naive again, and Taeyong was an alpha… But anything seemed better than to walk back and be paired with someone he did not love. So he did as Taeyong said, rushing to a black car and sliding into the backseat.

“Lie down. You can’t be seen,” Taeyong instructed as he sat on the driver’s seat.

“Where are we going?”

“Somewhere that’s better for you.”

Jaehyun lied down quietly as Taeyong drove. The car took a few turns left and right, getting to what seemed like a highway before Taeyong spoke again.

“You can sit down now.”

“Can you tell me what the fuck is going on?” Jaehyun demanded.

“I’m taking you to the rebels.”

“The rebels? You mean omega rebels?”

“And alphas, as I am clearly. It's my job. I rescue omegas.”

“Is this some kind of joke?”

“I think you’ve had enough jokes,” Taeyong chuckled. “You can chill, Jaehyun. Everything is going to be fine.”

“Is Y/N a rebel too?” Jaehyun breathed hesitatingly. Your name burned in his tongue. His brain clenched in a mantra: Tell me she is. Tell me she is. Tell me she is.

“The best of our kind,” Taeyong grinned. “You didn’t think she was actually letting the bad guys take you, did you? It might have seemed so, because it took me more days to rescue you than I planned. I’m sorry, but it was really risky to take you out earlier. I need to take care of my reputation, you know? And Y/N is surely going to murder me the minute she knows I could not keep you from getting tested. Shit.”

Hopelessly, Jaehyun started crying. His sobs were like heavy clouds making it rain in his heart. He didn’t know he was crying because he wished to believe Taeyong, or because he already did — because, if it was true, if you really were a rebel, then you were perfect. Then you did everything in your will to give him a way out. Then there was a chance your love for Jaehyun was real.

“W-what, are you-” Taeyong frowned. “Don’t cry, man, I’m sensitive to others’ feelings.”

“I thought Y/N hated me,” Jaehyun sobbed.

“She’s crazy for you. She’s saved omegas before, and some even fell in love with her, but it was never reciprocated. When she knew the hunters were coming for you, she asked for my help, and here we are.”

And just like that, Jaehyun’s was God’s favorite again. “When can I see her?” he quickly wanted to know.

“It might take a few days. She was selected for a mission in a nearby city, so she’s gotta be careful now. I’ll let her know you’re safe when we get to the headquarters, okay?”

It was hardly okay. Jaehyun had been impotent and despairing for the past days, because he believed tooth and nail that you were the worst person ever. But now, your love for him made him feel empowered and ready to fight against whoever got in his way. He could not simply sit down and wait for you. He had to be with you. Ferociously.

“I have to see her. Please, Taeyong. Take me to where she is.”

Taeyong chuckled apologetically. “I’m sorry, buddy, but I only take orders from your mate.”

You stared at Jaehyun's glasses, bent to your feet, the lens shattered in the shape of a cobweb where his happiness once shone. It was the grammar of your despair.

He had said that you were awful, and even if you hoped he was going to soon understand why you allowed his capture, that word stung like an unbearable twinge of pain right in your heart. Seeing your mate hurt and pretending it did not bother you was easily the hardest thing you had ever done, and although your fingers itched to light the world on fire to save him, you knew only patience and discretion were going to offer Jaehyun a way out.

You trusted Taeyong. He was your best friend. He was going to keep an eye on Jaehyun while you played your role in another hunt.

Sitting speechlessly on the passenger’s seat, you pretended to listen to Doyun’s precise instructions on how the hunting would go. Other two alpha hunters you met quite well were in the backseat: Jeno, sharpening his knife with repetitive moves, and Johnny, who still had his knuckles red from a previous hunt. From all three, Doyun was the colleague you trusted the least — and much to your dislike, he was in charge of the operation.

“We’ll act fast and be done with it. These omegas offer almost no resistance,” he cooed before his eyes landed on the glasses on your thigh. “What’s that for?”

Like a good alpha, you took care of your omega’s belongings.

“A victory statement,” you lied.

It took about an hour until you arrived at the nearby town, the paddy wagon smoothly driving through the suburbs. The minutes before a hunt started were always rough on you. Those people had lives of their own. Parents, friends, mates and children. Hobbies. The laws that separated you from them were as blinding as a fog. They did not deserve the suffering. The humiliation.

The sun shone in deadly sparkles of orange.

Doyun parked in front of an ordinary house. At his command, you all left the car, quickly following behind as he broke inside, coming across five different faces startled in fear: a middle-age couple, with an alpha male and an omega female, and three kids.

Fuck.

“Oh, look at what we have here,” Doyun chuckled under his breath, smoothly removing the knife from his hip. The blade shone like crystal water under the sun. “Such a beautiful family… What a shame it will be to hurt any of you.”

The kids hid behind the mother, tugging on her dress. You first noticed the bite on her neck, where the alpha’s teeth had sunk to make her forever his — then, your eyes slid down to her tummy, shaped a little rounder underneath the fabric. “Please, leave my kids and wife out of this,” the male begged. “I’ll go with you if you promise they will be safe.”

Your stomach turned over nauseously. “Doyun, they already have kids. Let them be,” you argued.

“Why?” He looked at you like a snake would look at a mouse. “They’re probably hiding the omega pack, Y/N. We need to make them speak.”

“They are mates and she is pregnant. Anything different from leaving them alone is pure masochism.”

“You’re softer. Is it because of that omega? Does he really mean something to you?” Doyun swiftly aimed the blade of his knife at you. “You haven’t been hired to care, Y/N. You’ve been hired to act. You better remember that.”

You held his gaze strongly, even when he stepped so closer it reverberated in your bones like a threat. Your blood boiled red.

“Jeno, you grab the kids. Johnny, take care of the man,” Doyun commanded, looking over each one of you until his eyes bore into yours one more time. “The woman is mine.”

Perhaps it was your love for Jaehyun that spoke louder, but this time you could not tolerate any more bullshit. Deep in your guts, it just didn’t feel right to allow alphas to wander as a crown made their heads weigh. As others owed them unconditional respect, a respect they did not own. Every person who was thought of as being of a lower class, as though they only existed for others’ pleasure and use… It was Jaehyun’s face you saw when you looked at omegas.

Any move from your side could easily destroy years of disguise and fakery, of hiding behind the mask you intended on using to protect Jaehyun, but you knew your priorities now. You knew that, in order to support your mate, you too had to be yourself.

The alpha that liked baking. The woman that fell in love with a rebel soul.

Clenching your fist, you tilted your head and grinned softly. “You fucking wish.”

How quickly your hand came for his cheek was even beyond you, the impact so powerful your fingers snapped. Mixed with the sudden pain, Doyun’s surprise was the perfect opportunity for you to kick the knife off his hand before he could retaliate.

And retaliate he did, throwing you against the wall. The shock of your back against it made you hiss, but the sound was cut short when Doyun wrapped a hand around your throat. A clean kick of your boots between his legs was enough for him to let you go, coming to his knees right in front of you.

For a moment, you crossed eyes with Johnny, who was already taking the family outside to the car, to take them somewhere safer.

Jeno, on the other hand, simply stared at the door frame as confusion munched longly at his features.

When you blinked again, the knife you had kicked away had caused a sharp, deep cut in your thigh. You hissed and stepped back in pain, your breath fast now that blood soaked your jeans, warm and red.

“I’m taking you back to the capital, Y/N,” Doyun’s smirk was perversely mocking. “They will make a fantastic breeding bitch out of you.”

Your entire body burned like a merciless fire. With one certain move, your fist collided with Doyun’s jawline, causing an awful sound echo through the walls.

You knew how jaws sounded when they broke.

Looking over at Jeno, you hummed in deep breaths. “Are you a good boy, Jeno?” He nodded, in awe. “Then, help me with this motherfucker.”

Doyun offered little resistance when Jeno lifted him up. Even his kicks and punches were a mere attempt as he had one of his hands trying to hold his dislocated jawline in place, teary eyes big with the pain. Never before you had seen him so defenseless. It made you proud.

You met with Johnny outside. “Fuck, Y/N. You’re hurt.”

Only now you noticed your blood was drawing an exposing trail on the floor. “I think my disguise ends here,” you chuckled dryly.

“Probably, but we do have more important things to tend to now,” Johnny retorted.

“Care to stitch me up before I drive?” you asked, making him frown.

“You’re driving? Y/N, I don’t think that’s a good id-”

“My mate needs me,” you interrupted. “I can’t make him wait longer. Can you keep the family safe?”

“Absolutely,” Johnny nodded. “What about Jeno?”

Looking over as Jeno locked Doyun inside the back of the paddy wagon, you breathed. “I’ll take him with me.”

“So you’re a spy?” Jeno asked in the back, as he made sure to watch Doyun, who was cuffed to the seat and sleeping peacefully after you had punched him in the head. You were not going to drive with him trying to speak all the way to the capital.

“You can say that,” you said while driving, hissing low whenever you had to use your leg. Even with Johnny’s skilled stitching and the painkillers, it hurt like hell. “At least I was until earlier today.” Now, you were just a rebel. Out in the open.

“And Johnny too?”

“And Johnny too.”

“Holy shit, you’re really good!” His surprised tone nearly made you chuckle.

“There is always space for new people, you know,” you encouraged, looking at Jeno over the rearview mirror. “You have a good heart, Jeno. You can work for a better cause.”

He looked down, a lonely strand of his black hair falling onto his forehead. “I don’t know… I think I’d easily get caught.”

“We all think that at some point. Then, we just get used to it.”

Jeno spoke no more. You too preferred to stay silent.

Every mile you drove meant a mile closer to Jaehyun. You could not wait to get to him. To finally let your arms embrace his sweet body.

A small red sign that twinkled by the steering wheel called your attention. Shit. You were running out of gas. “Jeno, I’m stopping to fill up. You keep an eye on Doyun for me, okay?”

Thankfully, you stopped at a gas station minutes later, quickly jumping out of the wagon. You were about to pay when Jeno called you. “Y/N, can you get me some snacks, please?”

“Sure. Anything in particular?

“I like shrimp crackers.”

And so you grabbed some at the convenience store, as well as bottles of water to keep you and Jeno hydrated. It was going to take another two hours until you reached the capital, and you had a feeling it was going to seem like twice the amount of time.

As you approached the cashier, you noticed small, lovely cakes placed around the line, and a specific flavor made your heart flutter. Those pistachio cakes were not to be compared to yours, but they could be a perfect small treat for Jaehyun. For when you would meet again.

Influenced by sweetness, your eyes lifted from the cakes to the glass door that faced the station. It was only then that you noticed Jeno was outside the wagon, with Doyun by his side.

Doyun had a gun in his hand.

Everything you held in your hands fell to the floor at the same time the bullet pierced the glass — and by then, you were already on your fours, searching for a way out. Another gunshot was heard as you rolled to your right, noticing a back door at the other side of the store. You ran to it in no time, as fast as you could even when the wound in your leg pulsated, and frantically looked around, searching for a way to escape.

There was an old man talking on the phone by his bike, and you did not think twice before pushing him aside. “I’m really sorry,” you apologized while grabbing his keys and phone, jumping on and starting his bike as if your life depended on it.

Well, it did.

One final time, you looked over your shoulder to witness both Jeno and Doyun behind you. A last shot was heard.

As you rode, the bullet in your shoulder bled through and through.

The headquarters were nothing like Jaehyun expected: less like separated buildings where the rebels hid, and more like a normal city, where people lived commonly. The only difference was that the only way inside was through a tunnel that was watched nonstop, certain as the sun came back every day. “The police are on our side,” Taeyong explained. “It’s safe.”

Jaehyun saw omegas, betas and alphas living so freely it even surprised his own expectations. Omegas worked as police officers, betas were teachers, and he got a glimpse of an alpha taking his kids to the local playground.

That place was everything he had ever dreamt of. And you were part of it.

“This is Y/N’s house. Like, her real house. She has an apartment in the capital too, for disguise purposes,” Taeyong hummed after he parked in front of a simple one floor house, even if Jaehyun knew to whom the house belonged to even before the alpha had said one word. The entire place smelled like you. “She told me to bring you here.”

Jaehyun grinned widely. God’s clouds all over his head again.

“Thank you, Taeyong.”

“It’s fine. Again, I’m sorry for taking longer to come and get you.” Suddenly, the alpha’s face lit up. “Ah, here, Y/N told me to buy you these.”

New glasses. Almost identical to the ones he previously had.

Taeyong left Jaehyun on his own after that. With the keys in his hands, the omega breathed deeply, looking around carefully, and recognizing you in the small details: the pictures of your mother on the wall, the resistant plants, the bakery books on the shelves, and the kitchen utensils that were worn out by how many cakes you had baked.

Jaehyun did not know it was possible, but he felt so much more in love with you his eyes teared. It was like digging deep into his being and sleeping in the calmest nest of his thankful wishing. Slowly and without noticing what he was doing, he started gathering small items that brought him comfort. One of the pillows on your bed, your hairbrush, a silky black gown you probably wore for sleeping in the summer, and a pair of your biker gloves. Jaehyun lied down on the bed with all those items nested inside his arms. His eyes closed to dream of you.

It was already night when his eyes opened again. Your scent, rawer than ever, came from the window as rain suited the neighborhood like a hat. And it was violently metallic.

After throwing your phone in the road and grabbing the one you stole, you called Taeyong and sent him your localization. The bullet in your shoulder hurt more excruciatingly at each passing second, but it was not enough to keep you from your final destination. You rode through the setting sun and the first clouds that gathered in the darkest shades of gray. You rode through thunder and lighting. Through the heavy summer rain.

When you got to the tunnel, you broke down in Taeyong’s arms.

Even though your ears understood every word your friend told you, because you automatically nodded in acknowledgement, your mind was too busy to make a full idea of what he said. The only thing you fully got, between delirium and the wetness that soaked your muscles, was that Jaehyun was safe.

Then, Taeyong took you to the hospital. You allowed it only because you did not want Jaehyun to see you injured. It would be a sin to scare him.

Similar to blank pages on a diary, the next hours were numb and almost imperceptible to you. Most of the time, your eyes remained closed out of tiredness, your body claiming its need to rest after the adrenaline flood in your veins. But a few things you remembered.

Taeyong was right next to you as the doctor, a young female omega, gave him instructions. “It will only cause more damage if we remove the bullet, actually. Her body will just surround it with a scar tissue and wall it off, but we should give her painkillers for a few days.”

You groaned on the bed, feeling a little more sober now, as you even registered the raindrops hitting the ceiling. “All of them, please,” your voice came out hoarse and exhausted. Much to your relief, you had already been medicated.

“Y/N, are you alright?” Taeyong leaned over.

“I’ve been worse,” you replied.

“We’ve sterilized your wounds, miss,” the doctor explained. “The bullet in your shoulder isn’t fatal, so the best thing to do is to leave it there. It’d be more dangerous if we tried to pull it out.”

You nodded in agreement. “If you say, I don’t mind it.” Your eyes slowly opened to meet Taeyong’s. “Where’s Jaehyun?”

Your friend smiled in amusement. “At your house. I didn’t want to call him.”

“Good,” you nodded.

In perfect timing, your face turned as soon as the doors were open, only to land on a very familiar face, one that you would recognize amongst a million. Your person was right there, soaked in rain, dripping on the hospital room floor, and he was smiling. Jaehyun was smiling through the droplets that fell from the black strands of his hair. So beautiful he could lend a bit of his beauty to every man on earth and still be the most handsome.

“Y/N,” oh, his voice… His beautiful, deep voice opened every curtain of your body, letting the sun shine through. Like a vice, his musky scent calmed down your heart.

You opened your arms to him, and the moment Jaehyun hugged you was like the weight of the world was removed from your shoulders. He was wet and cold, but also so warm that the greatest bonfire could not compare. The firmness of his chest against your breasts, his breath against the curve of his neck, his gentle fingers removing the hair from your face, strands that stuck to your skin due to your salty tears.

“Are you alright?” you sobbed. “I’m so sorry, Jae. I’m so sorry.”

“Shh, don’t. Please, Y/N, I know it,” he looked into your eyes reassuringly. “Taeyong told me everything. I know. You don’t have to feel sorry.”

Your tears fell down your cheeks like waterfalls as you rested your hands on his elbows.

“Are you alright? Do you need anything?” he asked.

“Yes. Stay with me.”

You did not have to ask twice. Jaehyun was never leaving your side.

His hand held yours long after the nurse and Taeyong had left. “You should sleep, Y/N. You went through a lot,” he advised, letting the tip of his fingers tug your hair behind your ear.

“Why sleep when I finally have what I want? Two days waiting for you felt like an eternity,” you admitted, your voice low and serious. “They might have been rough on you.”

Jaehyun both nodded and brushed the tip of his thumb against the surface of your hand. “They were, but I suffered the most because I was heartbroken. I get it, though. Why things went the way they did.”

“I thought I was going to protect you for longer if I kept my identity, but it’s all over now,” you sighed. “I should have ran away with you when I had the chance.”

“You didn’t know, Y/N. It’s okay.”

You looked into Jaehyun’s eyes the most sincerely, squeezing his hand into yours. “Do you forgive me, Jae?”

“There’s nothing to forgive.” The kiss he planted on your forehead felt like a mating bite. Like true, eternal love.

For two more days, the doctor insisted that you stayed under observation. Gratefully, your wounds seemed to act quick in the solemn act of healing, as bandages were constantly changed by Jaehyun’s delicate hands, so smoothly you only felt slight tickles when his fingers applied the prescribed ointments.

In moments like that, you felt blessed that your mate took care of you like you intended to take care of him, regardless of your status. Alpha, omega… It didn’t matter. You were both responsible for each other.

Also, you thrived like a cherry blossom in spring whenever he tended to your needs.

“You mate might have magical hands. Your wounds are almost fully dry, miss,” the doctor grinned when she came to last check on you.

Instead of bringing any biological or scientific explanation, you simply nodded. “Does it mean I’m free to leave?” you asked excitedly.

“You are, with the condition that you keep the exact treatment you’ve been doing here for seven more days.”

“You have my word,” Jaehyun spoke, looking bright like a winter night behind his glasses, and with a frank, happy smile on his lips.

An hour later, you left the hospital with your hand in his. The day was warm, the sky a lighter shade of blue as a few clouds played in the open. At the extreme and joyous brightness, your eyes tightened, and Jaehyun immediately used his free hand to hover over them.

You were going home.

Your house exhaled the lustful aroma of orange fields even more now that you were back to it, your pheromones and scent prominent like you were intentionally marking your territory. To Jaehyun, it was overwhelming, his sensitive nostrils addicted to every breath, his hands shaking from how badly he was trying to control his needs, taking suppressants to muffle any chance he went into heat. It was only going to distract you from healing, anyway, and no matter how he liked to think you were both safe, Jaehyun still feared alpha hunters would suddenly appear.

So he did what he thought best and played it safe. He cooked for you — your favorite dishes constantly on the table —, cleaned your wounds and slept with you, placing a chaste kiss to your forehead with every goodnight. Everything in those days felt comfortingly domestic, so much that Jaehyun knew, like the tree branches knew how to grow, that he could live days like that for the rest of his life.

“I haven’t been able to decorate the house with flowers in ages,” you sighed, eyeing the empty vases around your living room. “We should go on picking some today.”

“Isn’t your leg hurting?”

“Oh, this?” You chuckled, rubbing the stitches on your thigh. Summer had gotten so scorching you finally decided to put on shorts instead of pants, allowing Jaehyun to see more of you. “Looks uglier than it hurts.”

“You wouldn’t be ugly even if you tried your best, Y/N. Not a single part of you.”

There they were again. The reddest ears you had even seen.

“Sweet,” you praised with a peck to his dimpled cheek. “Let’s go!”

It was only when you arrived at the fields that Jaehyun realized your idea could not have been better. It was a perfect day to pick flowers, and even if he missed the town where you two met, the fields at the secret city were just as beautiful. Peonies, orchids, sunflowers, roses, lilies, and several sorts of plants grew over the horizon — the colorful sight was soul pleasing. With glowing eyes, Jaehyun admired how skilfully you cut the stems.

“I think we’ve got enough,” you stood up, putting some white lilies on the bucket he carried. Your eyes traveled up and, for a moment, you salivated at the image. His defined muscles clenched under his tangled sleeves, his shining black hair reflecting the sun, his brown eyes innocently holding your gaze. “Wow.”

Jaehyun frowned. “What?”

“You. I don’t think I ever said how beautiful you are.”

He fixed his glasses in that adorable way that showed both nervousness and care, looking down at the colorful bucket. “Oh, thank you.”

Swiftly, you pulled him by the hand until his chest met yours. “Why are you still on suppressants?” you asked calmly.

His eyes met yours again. “I don’t think it’s the right time to let it happen,” Jaehyun admitted. You could tell he was putting some effort into holding your confronting gaze. “You’ve been through a lot.”

“To get to you. Now that I have, I don’t feel like holding back. Is that okay?”

His cheeks resembled the peonies you had grabbed. “Yes, miss.”

“Don’t call me miss,” you reached for his hands with a smile that, to Jaehyun, uncrowned the sun. Your lips against his wrists left a feverish sensation on his skin. “I want you to call me yours.”

He swallowed, wetting his plump lips with his tongue before speaking. “My… My love.”

There were no words to describe how accomplished your heart beat at those words, like all the questions deep in your soul were answered by three simple syllables. Confidently, you stood on the tip of your toes, leaning closer as your eyes alternated between Jaehyun’s eyes and lips. He leaned closer too.

Your lips touched with the sun’s blessing.

With a hand on his nape, you kissed him so slowly it was possible to feel inch by inch of his mouth widening. A low, raspy moan escaped your throat when Jaehyun’s tongue found yours. He kissed you like songs were created, melody, rhythm and lyrics combining, making sense, becoming one. You could kiss him for hours, and you were probably going to if raindrops had not started falling heavily from the sky.

Parting ways with your laughter as background music, you ran straight to the closest shelter: a small and abandoned wooden barn, that at least was going to be of use until the rain passed.

It took one look for you to notice you were both soaked, fresh with rain, and so ready for each other it could be cut in the air with a knife.

After placing the bucket on the floor to let the flowers dry, Jaehyun kissed you again. This time, your tongues moved heatedly, drawing sensual circles around each other. Because there was no need to rush, you seized every bit of the kiss, from how your heads leaned forward to how Jaehyun’s lower lip brushed yours. You wanted to breathe him in. To lick him whole. To drink his every drop. Nobody had ever kissed you like that before, so warm and wanting it felt as though the sky was breaking open. Like a theft, your hand slid, gentle and demanding, under the soaked fabric of his white shirt.

“Is this okay?” You had to make sure.

“Yes,” Jaehyun breathed affectedly, feeling your nails against the defined muscles of his abdomen. His damped hair was dripping raindrops. “Is it for you too?”

“Yes.”

“I can wait a little longer, until we get home, if you want.”

“You’re my home,” Jaehyun retorted, and you were kissing him all over again.

For once in your life, it felt right to let go and devour the world with your own mouth. You took Jaehyun’s shirt off, kissing his muscles like a devotee worshiped a saint, memorizing every mole from his hip to his neck.

For once in your life, you let someone undress you, and kissed his knuckles in gratitude because it felt safe. Even if he could see the scars on your stomach. The marks of every plan going wrong. Every hunt, every lie.

“It’s fine,” you whispered.

But of course Jaehyun had to kiss you right there. Of course he had to press his plump, swollen lips from kissing against where you had been the weakest. “You’re beautiful, my love,” he murmured as his hands roamed your body, thumbs situated on the curve of your waist as his fingers sank against the fat of your skin. Your nipples peaked harder against the cool, fresh air. “You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen. Want you to make me yours.”

The shiver that ran down your spine was like thunder touching the ocean’s deepest ground. “You want me to bite you?” A bite given by your mate formed a permanent, unbreakable bond. It was a definitive and territorial claim, like the scar your teeth would leave in his skin.

Jaehyun’s instant and certain nod could easily have killed you with how fucking sweet he was.

With your lips back on his, your hands pulled your shorts down your legs; your panties rested where they landed, the bottom glistening with thick arousal. Proudly naked in front of your mate, you jumped on a table that was gladly by the barn’s door. It looked firm enough for what you were going to do.

Spreading your legs enough to offer him a peak of your core, you guided his wrist under your navel. “You look big, my love,” you murmured, giving in that you had absolutely noticed the girth in his pants. “Can you prep me a little?”

There was nothing Jaehyun would deny you. Readily, his hands spread your legs a little wider, and the tip of his fingers ran against your soaked, sliging lips. His gaze took as long as it needed staring at your folds, as though Jaehyun wished to commit the image to his memory in all its colors and shapes.

“It’s my first time,” lifting his eyes to yours, he confessed.

“So is mine,” you smiled. “I’ve only used toys.”

Jaehyun’s irises glimmered. So you were about to discover sex together, every stage of it, every thing that would and would not work out.

Fuck, what a lucky bastard he was.

Ever so gently, Jaehyun slid two of his slender fingers inside you, making you immediately clench around them with a breathy moan. “Go slow,” you instructed, only to find out Jaehyun did not need any of your orientations. Soon, he was with his mouth on your nipples as his fingers drew wet echoes in the barn, going at a pace that pressured a sensitive spot within your folds.

“You’re perfect,” Jaehyun grunted, needing you to know how amazing he was feeling just with his fingers buried in you, his eyes amazed to see such a breathtaking view. “So soft and wet, my love. Better than any toy I’ve used.”

“Baby,” you moaned, melting with how sweet Jaehyun sounded and how handsome he was when he concentrated on your body, those deep brown eyes focused on your cunt. His scent, too, was slowly driving you to insanity, feeding a brutal, biological need inside your guts. Growling, you tugged at his pants. “Take these off.”

It would be a shame to leave you waiting. Without removing his fingers from your clenching walls, Jaehyun pulled his pants and boxers to his feet with his free hand.

Your mouth drooled at the sight. How handsome he was, from head to toe, every color and vein, just for you... “Fuck, I want you,” you breathed impatiently.

The deep grunt that left Jaehyun when he pulled his fingers out came from the depths of his ribcage. From the tip to the base, his long fingers glistened with your pulpy juices. Almost too much to take. “Can I have a taste first?” he asked with eyes so allured you wanted to fuck him right then and there, but you complied, relishing as your omega got on his knees.

You removed his glasses to keep them from getting foggy.

At the first touch of his tongue on you, your toes curled at the edge of the table, your body unable to control its own responsiveness. You did not know if you liked the pleasurable sensations on your clit the most, or if it was how Jaehyun’s face was crafted while he had the time of his life between your legs. Even if impatience ate at your limbs, you let him suck and lick your pussy all he wanted, drowning in the slurping noises echoing in the barn. “Feels so good, baby. You’re so talented, doing this for the first time,” you praised, resting on your elbows as you watched, drawing slow circles with your hips for his mouth to follow. “That face is mine to cum, huh?”

Jaehyun moaned with his mouth still on you, looking up from where he so devotedly stood. “Yes. Just yours.”

“Good,” you tugged at his hair just slightly to lift his face back to yours. Your taste in his mouth was like oranges, like falling in love and lust. “I’m going to use it later.”

Thunder fell outside, lighting up the afternoon sky, as you adjusted on the table and kissed Jaehyun passionately. He grabbed the base of his member and aligned it with your entrance, rubbing the head, leaking with precum, up and down a few times. “Do you want me to pull out?”

“Hell no,” you shook your head with a grin. “I’m on birth control. I want your knot, angel.”

With his wet hair dripping on your stomach, Jaehyun grabbed the side of the table with such strength that it made his veins clench. You calling him sweet names nearly had his eyes rolling to the back of his skull. You were a temptress, so delicious and with a beauty that ended every standard, so knowing and lustful, and he was eager to please you, to feel your every inch, to make sweat and cum glisten on your skin like pearls. “You’re so good,” he muttered overwhelmingly, and even before he understood his own body, the head of his cock was welcomed by a wanton grip, one that soaked him warm and made his balls tense with how much cum he had for you. “You‘re the best alpha I could ask for, so beautiful and lovely, I’m so happy my heart is yours,” he mumbled, making your heart flutter.

You threw your head back when he was fully inside you, occupying the space sex toys, as effective as they were, never did. Your gaze held his all the time, even when they darkened with desire. You wanted to remember that scene forever. You wanted to keep it to your heart, the first time your omega felt your pussy around him. “I’m happy too, love. Madly,” you smiled. “Is everything alright?”

“Yes. You?”

“Wonderful. You can move.”

Gripping the table’s edge, Jaehyun slowly retracted his hips only to slam them back again. The way his face clenched could be put in a painting and hung in a museum, because it was pure art, from his eyebrows to the curse that died on his lips. “I can feel you tightening around me.”

“Does it feel good?”

“Fuck, yes,” he breathed, this time thrusting a bit faster, which was a synonym for erratically. “S-shit, did I hurt you?”

“I’m not made of glass, Jaehyun. You can go harder,” you encouraged by planting a kiss on his lips and guiding his hand to grab your hip.

With that, Jaehyun was lost forever. He let years of suppressed heats explode in every blood cell, in every breath and thrust of his hips. He let himself be the savage, lewd creature his desire crafted, and only for you he moaned, your name like wine on his lips, the jiggle of your breasts and thighs feeding his arousal, his knot forming quicker than he liked.

You saw his eyes turn into needy orbs, his agape mouth letting out the most guttural moans you ever heard, and the exposure of his thick, masculine neck had your teeth sharpening in seconds.

You pulled him closer, your breasts rubbing against his chest.

Your teeth touched his skin, and that lovely musky, leathery scent edged you on. They sank through skin, blood and muscle, the sharp edges piercing the core of Jaehyun’s soul, until it was tangled to yours. You moaned with his blood in your mouth, feeling how your heartbeats aligned, how your pupils left almost no space for the color of your irises, how Jaehyun’s knot formed firm and long inside you. You took it ravishingly, shivering on the shaking table, lost somewhere between Jaehyun’s moans and the feeling of his body flush to yours, until you managed to gather enough consciousness to remove your teeth and offer him your neck.

The mere thing Jaehyun saw was your mouth, bloodied, smiling in permission, before he dived in to make you his as much as he was yours.

Equally.

“So you’re telling me that after leaving my shop to a complete stranger and traveling for hours I can’t see my friend?” Haechan crossed his arms stubbornly.

“Johnny is not that much of a stranger. He’ll have the time of his life selling things for you” Taeyong chuckled. “But yes, you definitely can’t see Jaehyun now. He’s in heat.”

“And when is it going to be over?”

Taeyong shrugged. “In one week, I guess?”

“All that?”

“I told you, there was no use in coming with me, but you insisted.”

Haechan sighed, not wanting to admit Taeyong was right. “Is Y/N with him?”

“Where else would she be? She is his mate now.”

“So all they will be doing for an entire week is to be locked up, fucking each other’s brains out?”

“Correct.”

Haechan rubbed his face in frustration. “And to think that I was worried about him…”

Jaehyun admired the two small teeth marks on your neck as he breathed in and out.

“Color?” you demanded.

“Green,” he replied, looking so deliciously pliable your mouth watered.

You were finally in a scenario Jaehyun had pictured uncountable times inside his head: in your bedroom, which now was quite honestly a nest for the both of you, somewhere your omega felt comfortable and had his most primitive needs tended to, while slow rhythm and blues played, and the aroma of freshly baked pistachio cakes filled the house. Not only was Jaehyun surrounded by things that had your natural scent shirts — pillows, a leather jacket, biker gloves and plushies — but you were there all the time, no exception, to keep him well fed, hydrated and completely satisfied.

You even had rubbed your pussy on a pillow for him, one that he kept his nose buried in.

Right now, you had Jaehyun’s naked body restrained by ropes, your hands working on the delicate yet firm knots that kept his hands behind his back, his wrists tied together, and his chest tied to one of his thighs. It was the sound of your breathing and the notes of the rope coming against the ground that turned him on, the helplessness and vulnerability to be put in your beautiful hands… Oh, Jaehyun loved it.

You had been hidden in the nest for three days. However, it felt like an eternity of knowing your mate and savoring his every reaction. Since you weren’t much experienced, both you and Jaehyun found out what you liked together, and the absolute attention you paid to one another was holy, like a prayer whispered at night.

“This will leave lovely marks on your skin,” you grinned wholeheartedly, brushing his hair back. A thin layer of sweat covered his skin.

“I love you,” Jaehyun let out as quick as a bubble exploding. Your beauty shook him to the core. “I love you so much.”

“And I love you,” you let your hand drift to where he needed you the most. “Are you sure you’re not sensitive? Is it like, your sixth boner today?”

“I can take it. Please,” he reassured.

“How do you want to cum this time, baby? My hand?” Jaehyun shook his head. “My mouth?” Another shake. “All the way in?”

Jaehyun nodded, wetting his lips with his tongue. “Want you to ride me.”

You replied by straddling his lap.

It always amused him, how fucking beautiful you were on top. Your tits were perfect in his hands and mouth, the curve of your waist giving space to the adorable fat in your belly, and how your thighs spread over his was just cinema. “Thank you, my love,” Jaehyun smiled.

“The pleasure is all mine,” you assured, rubbing the slick of your core against his swollen member before taking it all in, starting a quickened pace so your lovely boy could find his relief one more time.

Because his hands were restrained, Jaehyun couldn’t touch you, but he still stared in awe at the earthquaking vision of you rocking his world. You swallowed him full, making his cock disappear inside your entrance only to poke at your navel from inside out. Your pussy was his favorite place to be, where he felt the happiest, blessed in mind, body and soul, and you let him feast on it whenever he wanted. Your darling, loving man.

“Let go for me,” sweetly, you pecked his forehead.

Jaehyun felt his cock harden an almost impossible amount, his balls aching with cum, before he was moaning helplessly, his knot firmly attaching to your uterus.

It was the look on his face that made you cum along, riding his cock faster, eating from every move of his good looking face.

A thin drop of sweat ran down Jaehyun’s temple as you both calmed down, ecstasy giving space to a loving, bonding gaze. “I think we’re getting better at this,” he cooed, making you laugh.

“No doubt. We will be unstoppable once your heat ends.”

“I don’t want it to end.”

“Cute.” Softly, you lifted your hips. His member, glimmering in juices and white cum, rested against Jaehyun’s stomach.

It was going to take minutes for it to get hard again.

“Y/N,” he called.

“Yes, angel?”

“Can you make yourself cum for me?”

How you held your breath had Jaehyun close to wishing his hands were free to make you cum himself. But oh, he wanted to watch. He still was not over how beautiful you looked when you had an orgasm.

You smiled widely. “I think I love you even more with every word you say.”

Grabbing a light pink vibrator from the bedside table drawer, you rested back on the mattress with those attentive brown eyes following your every move. The device’s buzz filled up the room with a naughty promise. You brushed it gently against your nipples, then down your belly, all over your thighs and finally where Jaehyun loved the most.

He watched without a word, licking his lips when you moaned wantonly, first focusing the vibrations on your clit before easily sliding the vibrator inside your cum soaked hole. “Fuck,” you cried.

You dripped pearly white on the sheets. A beautiful sight.

Jaehyun’s skin shivered with goosebumps. Every damn time. “I’m so lucky,” he uttered, eyes glued to your pussy. “I’m so fucking lucky.”

As sweet and gentle-mannered as he was, Jaehyun could kill for the smile that bloomed on your face, so pure and adorable even if your cunt clenched around the toy. Your hand slid low, starting to rub long circles on your clit. “You are. Even more knowing that you’re going to fuck me dumb when I’m done.”

Most of his life, Jaehyun was told alphas strictly played the dominant role in the bedroom. Now, however, nothing thrilled him more than the perspective of switching roles with you.

You offered him the world. You allowed him to be.

He grunted quietly and yet deeply, already counting the signs of your orgasm approaching. First, your tightening drunk eyes; second, your hips rolling erratically; third, your chest trembling in long breaths that prolonged your ecstasy. “That’s it, my love. That’s it, looking so pretty for me…”

The moment your orgasm kicked in had your hole visibly pulsating, your mouth agape and your eyes rolling back. You let out a high-pitched moan as your back arched, and pulled the toy away fast, your swollen clit way too sensitive to receive further stimulation.

With his cock so hard it ached, Jaehyun admired in awe, unconsciously trying to get rid of the ropes that restrained him, which only caused them to burn hotter against his porcelain skin. He was so immersed that the only moment he noticed he was drooling was when spit ran down his chin. “Fuck.”

You sat on your thighs, readily licking his saliva and running your fingers through the knots on his back. The loveliest smirk decorated your face. “Time we untie you, angel.”

The experience of being untied was, perhaps, just as good as being tied up. Jaehyun watched with pupils dilated, taking small breaths of relief when the rope loosened around his skin, leaving red and pink marks on his body where it pressed. You watched in full delight, kissing the marks that blossomed in a deeper shade. “You’re so good for doing this, Jaehyunnie. I’m so lucky too, my love.”

He sighed when the rope fell entirely to the mattress, his muscles relaxing in freedom. Without waiting any longer, Jaehyun kissed you long, hands roaming up and down your curves. Smoothly, he turned you around, with your chest to the sheets and your ass up in the air. “Jaehyunnie is going to fuck you raw now, like dogs do,” he whispered, both his hands caressing your butt cheeks, his fingers slaves to both adoration and perversion. “Color?”

You smiled over your shoulder.

“Green. A thousand times green.”

You stared at the ceiling as your body rested in awe, a smile plastered on your face like it was permanent ink.

For the past few days, you had tended to Jaehyun rawly. Ravishing and frankly, to a point your bodies collided in exhaustion. All you had the strength to do was wrapping into each other’s embrace and sleeping for hours before you started it all over again.

After a specific round that left you breathless, your thighs shaking from overstimulation, his voice came out soft. “What now, Y/N?”

You hummed, leaning against his bare chest. “Hm?”

“What is it gonna be when we leave this room?”

“To give you an answer, I have to know what you want,” you replied, even though you were already considering the possibilities. Doyun was not going to stop hunting you, that much you were certain. You would never be safe as long as the government continued to sponsor people like him.

Jaehyun stared into the ceiling for a few seconds. “It is nice here. I feel safe and loved. I think I’ve always wanted that, too.”

“But?” you risked.

“But I don’t think it’s right for us to hide forever. What was built here has to be normalized out there, in the open,” he breathed. “I want to go back to the shop. I want to see the sea and listen to the birds sing in the morning. I want every omega in the world to have the opportunities they have here.”

Your chin rested on his chest, eyelashes batting softly as sunlight crystallized your irises. “Is that what you want? To rebuild the world?”

Jaehyun nodded.

“Good. I’ll give it to you,” you sealed your promise with a peck on his lips. Jaehyun’s eyes widened slightly as he puckered his mouth against yours.

“W-what do you mean?”

“I mean I will be the rebel to fucking stab the system in its throat.”

At that, Jaehyun got hard all over again. His eyes, so pure, blinked in a sparkling admiration. “I’ll fight with you.”

“Don’t say nonsense. You’re not fighting.”

“I think we agreed alphas don’t make choices for omegas,” he ran his hand through the sweaty strands of your hair. “If you fight, Y/N, I will fight with you.”

You let him be right. In every word and intention. In every truth of his desiring heart. And when Jaehyun smiled, his soul promised you way more than guns, hideouts and blood.

It was something worth fighting for.

#jaehyun #jung jaehyun #jaehyun x reader #nct 127 #nct #nct smut #jaehyun smut #kpop smut #male omega #female alpha

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lucyandthepen · 3 months

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last young renegade | jjh

summary: your valentine’s day plans with jaehyun may have gone down the drain just a little. (okay — a lot.)

pairing: jaehyun x reader verse: canon, idol!verse rating: t warnings&tags: reader & jaehyun are in an established relationship, quite frankly there is nothing too out of the ordinary in this fic which is a shocker, it’s a rewritten fic so pls excuse any errors I may not have caught! word count: 5.02k

a/n: happy 2024 friends and family !!!!!! and advanced happy birthday to the man who created valentine’s day, he who is perhaps my first love in nct, jaehyun! this is actually just a fic I’ve been hoping to re-write a bit from before, and since it’s valentine’s themed, what better time to post it!! Enjoy enjoy, and may this year bring more fun, laughs, love (and debauchery) to this blog!

Yᴏᴜ sᴀɪᴅ ʏᴏᴜ'ʀᴇ sɪᴄᴋ ᴀɴᴅ ᴛɪʀᴇᴅ ᴏғ ɪᴛ, ʙᴜᴛ ɪ ɴᴇᴇᴅ ʏᴏᴜ ᴍᴏʀɴɪɴɢ, ɴɪɢʜᴛ, ᴀɴᴅ ᴅᴀʏ.

♡ jaehyunnie ♡ I know I said birthday dinner but practice is running so late ㅠㅠ ♡ jaehyunnie ♡ Can we meet after? I’m sorry ㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ How about I call you when we’re done? Maybe 11:30?

At times like this, you often wonder if it’s all worth it.

You know thinking that way is counterproductive, not to mention a little unfair. You knew exactly what to expect, getting into an under-wraps relationship with an idol, and so far, it’s lived up to most of your assumptions, and then some. It doesn’t help that Jaehyun, even just by name, tends to attract an unbelievable amount of attention. You know you can’t blame him; it’s not like he wants to be high on the radar every time, either. For some reason, though, you seem to be looking for something or someone to blame, which you also know is a dead end. You have no one to pin the blame onto apart from yourself by frequently generating doubts that keep your mind running around in circles.

It’s not even the sneaking around that gets tiring; it’s the waiting — waiting on calls, waiting on free time, waiting on a good opportunity to do something that doesn’t involve him suddenly getting pulled out to attend to one of many of his celebrity responsibilities. Over the last few years that you’ve dated, NCT has only ever gotten more popular; with that popularity came the fact that the public eye was trained on them, focusing on every microscopic detail of their lives. Jaehyun hates that more than anything, which is why he’s given up on trying to avoid it by practically escaping it altogether, locking himself up in the dorm with you when he has his precious few days off.

While it’s true that you definitely don’t miss having to play espionage when going out for a cup of coffee with him, you’ve also managed to memorize every single inch of Jaehyun’s room, which isn’t good for your mentality, you’re pretty sure. You have to keep reminding him to open the window whenever the both of you are in there, because all you do is stay in and watch English movies without subtitles to see who can understand the most without asking questions (obviously, he always wins) while eating food he runs up and down the stairs to get every other hour. And while him trying to imitate the British accents on these shows is genuinely funny, you’re starting to suspect even he’s starting to get tired of watching Harry Potter over and over again. Twenty hours sounds like a long time unless you spend every twenty-hour period you have together marathoning the exact same films. Much to both of your disappointment, your suggestion to watch it totally out of order did not make it cooler.

Still, you suppose it’s not all bad. Jaehyun also taught you how to play Fortnite on a couple of his days off back to back, and while you hadn’t been as good a player as you both had hoped, he’d still patiently waited for you every time you got lost on the map. He’d even given you his account’s password with the sentiment that this was him ‘taking things to the next level with you,’ and you get to log into his account and play whenever you want; he doesn’t even get mad when you’ve wasted all the stuff he’s farmed on your subpar gaming skills. And, well, the bigger picture was that you loved him. Based on how much effort he put into the relationship, plus the bonus of his trust in you when it came to his Fortnite account, you could at least be confident in that he returned the sentiment.

Except, sometimes, you still wonder if it would be easier for the both of you if he flew solo and didn’t have a girlfriend that tanked all of his player’s ammo and health kits and generally made a fool out of his cute little avatar while he was out breaking his back onstage.

You aren’t sure if Jaehyun’s been noticing the turmoil in you; you’re not that good at hiding how you feel, anyway, but if he has, he hasn’t said anything thus far. You do observe how much more he texts you when he has free time, which makes you feel doubly bad, because you know that he’s spending precious minutes he could be resting with on talking to you instead, which isn’t the best trade-off for someone who’s constantly busy — and thereby constantly tired — like him.

♡ jaehyunnie♡ ___________ I’m going to practice again, okay? Wait for my call ㅠㅠ You I’ll wait for your call ♡ ♡ jaehyunnie♡ I love you ㅠㅠㅠㅠ ♡ jaehyunnie♡ You love me too — a lot, right? I’ll keep my phone now, but I’ll make sure to check that you said so. ㅋㅋㅋ You Right! ㅎ I love you a lot! ♡

When the clock hits 12:01, and your phone is silent, your mind starts working on overtime again. It’s only when the special ringtone you’ve set for him comes to life at half-past midnight that you break your train of thought and put on your socks so you can meet Jaehyun at your front door.

You’ve made a rule — sort of like a deal — between the two of you that apologies aren’t necessary when work holds you up. You’ve cashed in on that deal a couple of times, but you’re both aware that it’s more for Jaehyun’s sake than anything else, and he keeps to his word on that much when you open the door and duck into his car. All he does is smile at you, and you smile back, and for the rest of the car ride, everything seems okay.

He always asks you about your day — unfailingly, at any chance he can. It’s never an off-handed question, either; Jaehyun takes great pride in his memory, and the sweetest thing about him is that he’s dedicated a good deal of it to knowing almost everything about you. Right now is no different. He asks you about your team manager, what you had for lunch; he grills you on if you took your vitamins today and if you got to break in the new shoes you bought online — the ones you’d been pining over for the last three months. He even asks you about the guy from the neighboring department who keeps asking you out for after-work drinks.

“He wanted to go to Hongdae tonight,” you tell him as he slows for a red light. “There’s some new pub of his friend’s doing a soft opening there tonight.”

“You could have gone.” He keeps his eyes on the road. “I wouldn’t have minded.”

“I didn’t want to.”

“Good.” He glances at you, a grin slowly spreading on his lips. “Because I lied. I might have minded a little. Or, you know, a lot.”

“Don’t tell me after all these years, you’ve turned into the kind of boyfriend that doesn’t let his girlfriend go out without him.”

“That’s impossible for me, and you know that,” he chuckles. “You can do whatever you want, whenever you want. Just not with that guy from the other department.”

“Don’t worry.” You tinker with the little charm dangling on your phone — half of a flat, metal heart dangling from a gold chain that Jaehyun had given you two years back on your birthday. He keeps the other half, but since he can’t freely attach it to any of his belongings, he keeps it wedged between the back of his phone and its case. You like watching him change the backing because he does it so carefully, like he’s worried the other half of the heart is going to break if he rips off the case willy nilly. “I told him my boyfriend and I were going out on a date tonight, so he backed off. Although he did wonder why I keep talking about a boyfriend he’s never seen.”

“And? What did you say?”

“I said it was none of his damn business.”

Jaehyun laughs loudly, and you go along with him, but you don’t miss how tired he looks when he sobers down, the green light illuminating all the shadows on his face as he steps on the gas again.

Nothing good is open this late at night — that is, nothing you haven’t seen before. You hadn’t even expected to go out at all, but since it was the day before Valentine’s Day as well as his birthday (or it would have been, if you hadn’t waited until midnight), Jaehyun had wanted to do something special without having to run into a huge crowd of couples on the day itself. Your only option is this from-out-of-town carnival that’s set up in tents and even has a medium-sized ferris wheel by the edge of the metal barricade. The parking lot is practically empty when Jaehyun pulls into a slot; you joke that he should break one rule and park in two slots, which he smugly replies to by saying he couldn’t park badly even if he tried.

He tucks your hair back behind your ears as he loops the strings of a face mask around them, using another one for himself. Between that and the brim of his cap, you can barely see his eyes. The only knowledge that you have that you’re walking next to the man you love is that he takes your hand in his, slender fingers finding their way between yours.

The carnival is half-closed when you get to the middle of it; there are still a few stragglers, but half the kiosks have their lights off already. There’s a woman dressed in flashy clothes standing on a patch of dead grass a few feet away, and she’s holding a hoop that a ginger cat is jumping through. Jaehyun steers you to them, and you stand there for a good five minute watching the cat roll on the ground and stand on its hind legs, but you can tell it’s been going it at for most of the day because at one point, it just ignores the lady, opting to weave its way between Jaehyun’s and your legs instead. You do have a pretty good time when he picks it up and cradles it in his arms so you can pet it for a second, but it just hisses when its owner approaches and jumps out of his hold, disappearing behind a row of trash bins.

Jaehyun doesn’t have anything in his wallet apart from his credit cards and 50,000 won, and the coin machine operator says he only has enough coins left to break down 5,000 won for the games, so you end up having to jog back to his car so you can fish out some coins from inside his glove compartment. You come up with a grand total of 1,500 won, and you have to sheepishly go back to the coin machine operator to change four 100 coins and a couple of 50s just to get the last 500. Jaehyun tells you to hold onto the three coins so he doesn’t run off with them entirely and leave you destitute.

You learn you can only do three things at most — you dedicate 500 won for the Ferris wheel entry tickets, which leaves you with 500 won each. The both of you agree on choosing one kiosk to play in, and with only about five left that are open, you don’t really have that many options. You end up dragging Jaehyun over to a stall with a pond filled with those magnetic toy fish, but 500 won only gets you one fishing rod. Since it’s your choice, Jaehyun lets you play, but you feel kind of stupid doing it on your own with him just watching you. In the end, he decides to stand behind you, his arms around your waist like he thinks closer contact isn’t even more distracting. You do manage to fish out 10 fish and win a small bear on a keychain. It doesn’t even pass through your hands as Jaehyun takes it from the stall operator immediately.

“That’s mine!” You whine, reaching out in vain to take it from him; he just holds it high over his head. His eyes are twinkling under the shadow his cap casts over his face. “I worked hard for that.”

“Let me keep this one,” he mimics the pleading lilt in your voice. “I’ll put it on my bag.”

“You know you can’t! Give it back.”

“I’ll win you a bigger one,” he promises. “Let me keep this one. It’s cute. It reminds me of you. I’ll kiss it goodnight before I sleep.” He starts to laugh softly. “And then you’ll feel this weird spirit kissing you at like two in the morning, and you’ll know it’s me.”

Your arms aren’t long enough to retrieve it, and you don’t really want to, so you settle with twisting his ear. He takes it in stride even if he over-acts, making pained noises while leading you to the kiosk he wants to go to. It’s a shooting range stall, and he pays his own precious 500 won for a dart gun. He’s barely paying attention when the guy starts explaining how many points are assigned to each balloon color, more concerned with talking to the bear keychain in his hand and pretending like he’s cooing at you. You have to hit him across the shoulder to get him to focus.

“You need to start picking out what prize you want,” he tells you — the actual you, not the animal keychain version — as he lifts the dart gun.

“I’ll wait for you to finish first.”

“No way.” He tilts his head, closing one eye to steady his line of sight. “Pick already. Or just go for the biggest one.”

“You know that Fortnite and dart guns aren’t the same thing, right?”

“Yeah, but I’m well-motivated.” He grins at you, one eye still shut. He looks like a baby pirate. “Go ahead. Pick the biggest one.”

“Why don’t you just shoot, and we’ll see.”

“Pick it,” he insists. “Tell me you have faith in me. Tell me you love me.”

“Okay, I love you,” you agree. “But I have no faith in you when it comes to this.”

“One out of two is fine,” he concedes, taking aim.

All three of you, including the stall operator, let out a disappointed groan when he misses his first shot. His comes with a sheepish laugh as he reloads, suddenly telling you to pick the second biggest prize instead. You can’t even watch him miss over and over, so you pretend to be interested in a bunch of teenage boys playing a game of cups one stall over, trying not to giggle when you hear him get increasingly more frustrated at himself. When you turn back around, you notice he’s holding two small pieces of gummy candy, offering one to you like a kindergartener. He helps you tug your face mask down so you can eat it.

There’s a food stall nearby that, thankfully, accepts credit and debit; Jaehyun fishes out his card to get you a corndog — only one because he’s watching his weight for the upcoming concert, apparently. This is information you hate hearing but have no say in, and he knows this; you know he does because he says ‘don’t worry about me’ totally out of the blue, like five minutes after the conversation ceases to be relevant.

His phone starts ringing when the food comes out, and he takes a tiny bite of it — more bread than hotdog — before he answers. You know it’s Taeyong by the way he answers.

“Hyung, sorry — can we talk later? I’m out with ____________.”

Taeyong says something loud but indiscernible on the other end. You piece together that it’s about tomorrow’s schedule when Jaehyun speaks again.

“I know. I’ll be home in a bit; don’t worry about it. I haven’t forgotten.”

There’s more garbled speech on the other line; Jaehyun gestures for you to keep eating, and you do, but you more concerned with the morphing expressions on his face than you are with the act of chewing. He’s making noncommittal noises in response to what seem to be commands and reminders. You’re pretty much done with the corndog by the time he says ‘Okay, hyung. Hyung — I’ll see you later, okay?’

“Taeyong hyung says hi,” he tells you once he’s hung up the phone. “He says you still need to give back that book you borrowed from him last year.”

“Oh yeah,” you finish off the last of the food. “I’ll drop it off within the week.”

“Don’t worry about it. He doesn’t actually mean it.”

Jaehyun watches you snap the stick in half and toss it in the trash bag.

“We can go home,” you say finally. His eyebrows shoot up. “You’re busy tomorrow. I forgot.”

“I didn’t forget, and it’s fine.”

“It’s almost two in the morning.” You check your phone to verify. “You probably have to be up in a few hours. You need to sleep, or you’ll die, Jaehyun. I’m too young to be a grieving widow.”

“Let’s at least ride the Ferris wheel,” he suggests. Before you can protest, he tugs you towards the rickety contraption, digging the 500 won out of your pocket and handing it to the bemused operator. He lets you choose what carriage you want because literally no one is on it anymore, and Jaehyun asks for the best carriage. You’re not sure how it differs from the rest, but he makes a show out of guiding you into it, and you don’t miss the corny ‘my lady,’ he mutters under his breath.

It’s small, clearly meant for either a tiny group of children or couples who want to be as close together as possible. It’s also not air-conditioned, and only one of the windows is open, so you end up sticking to Jaehyun’s arm on the way up. The view is still great, though, and you feel his hand settle on your knee as the carriage makes it slow ascent.

The ride up is quiet, and you press your face as close to the glass of the carriage as you dare, but Jaehyun doesn’t move an inch. His hand is still heavy on your thigh, but it doesn’t do anything but lay there. When you’re close to the top, you’re hit with the urge to do something romantic — kiss, maybe, tell him happy birthday, or say ‘I love you’ to him in the most sickening way possible — but when you turn to look at him, you have to hold your tongue.

Jaehyun is asleep, leaning against the corner of the carriage, head tilted down a little. His shoulders are rising and falling slowly, and he’s pulled down his face mask a little so he can breathe better; his lips are slightly parted by the slackening of his jaw. His left hand is shoved in his pocket, like he’d passed out halfway through reaching for something in there.

He doesn’t wake even when you move slightly so you can lean back next to him, rocking the carriage a little — not even when you reach up and adjust his head so he can rest on your shoulder. He breathes deeply, evenly, and you wonder if his ear against your shoulder allows him to hear your heart plummet unfairly to the bottom of your stomach.

You have to shake him to rouse him when the ride comes to an end; when he opens his eyes and realizes what happened, he looks mortified. Instinctively, he opens his mouth, but you fling the carriage door open and step out before he can apologize.

You have a deal, and he knows what he shouldn’t be doing.

His grip on your hand is much tighter as you walk back to the parking lot, and he doesn’t let go, even on the road. The trip back is quieter, maybe because it’s late, or maybe because there are a ton of things the both of you want to say but can’t.

He slows down when he gets to your street, but when he stops in front of your building, he doesn’t immediately unlock the doors to let you out. Instead, he turns to you, licking his lips a little nervously.

“Can you…” he clears his throat because his voice cracks a little on the first attempt. “Can you come back with me? To the dorm?”

“I have work tomorrow, Jaehyun.”

“It’s still at eleven, isn’t it? I can bring you home before that. You still have some stuff in my room. You can get ready there.”

“Won’t you be too busy?”

“Just—” he sighs softly. “Can you? Please?”

You don’t know how to say no to Jaehyun, and tonight isn’t a night you’re willing to try. It’s why fifteen minutes later, you’re walking through the front door of his dorm. Donghyuck, sitting at his computer in his room with the door ajar, greets you sleepily as you pass by.

Jaehyun steps in the shower with you; you don’t talk, maybe because you’re worried you might wake the others up if you start a full-blown conversation in a bathroom surrounded by other bedrooms. He just passes you what you need, and you do the same for him, and somewhere in between, he kisses you under the spray of the water.

Later, he falls asleep with a face mask on, and you have to peel it off for him and toss it into the trash. The tip of his nose is shiny, and you want to kiss it, but you know it’ll wake him, and you noticed he’d set his alarm to go off two hours from now. He’s set out a couple of earplugs for you so that you don’t hear it, but you don’t put them in. You want to see him before he leaves, even if it’s in the deadest hours of morning, so you just crawl into bed with him. A minute before you doze off, you feel his damp skin press against your neck, his form curled up against your back.

The alarm never wakes you; the sun is out when you open your eyes, and when you check your phone, you see that it’s already half-past nine. You also notice that there’s nothing from Jaehyun on your screen, but you try not to dwell on that, considering that you’d been expecting to wake up to an empty bed. His side of the mattress is cold, which means that he’s been gone for some time.

You don’t know if it’s just because you’re groggy, but your insides still feel like lead when you sit up. The part of you that nags about this relationship is back at full force when you start thinking about Jaehyun going to a pre-recording two hours after spending the last of his energy on you. You start wondering if you’re doing the right thing if it feels like you’re just dragging him down. Your heart clenches tightly when the worst thought hits — maybe, just maybe, he’s tired of you, too.

But you won’t let him go. More to the point — you can’t. He’s the best part of your life; it’d be a cold day in hell if you decided to leave him.

Even the thought of it makes you feel like dying.

Then again, this isn’t all up to you.

You’re rubbing the sleep out of your eyes — and maybe a couple of frustrated tears — when the door creaks open. You see two mugs and his hands before you see the rest of him come through the doorway. Jaehyun whispers a careful good morning as he sets the coffee down on his table, making sure to push his keyboard away to avoid accidents, before sitting down next to you. You notice that there’s an envelope next to one of the mugs; the flap is slightly open, and from under it, a flash of red peeks out.

His hand finds its way back to your knee — it’s his favorite resting place, he’s told you once. Your lap feels like home, he’d joked. Maybe he touches it every so often because it’s like a reset button for him.

He doesn’t ask if you slept well, or if you want to get ready before having your coffee, or if you’re okay. He just squeezes your knee a little tighter. It’s you that has to start the conversation this time.

“How did it go?”

“It went great. You’ll see it on TV later tonight,” he starts rubbing your thigh idly. “You’ll watch it later, right?”

“Of course. I’ll call you and tell you how cool you look.”

He smiles, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. When you lapse into silence again, it’s because you’re expecting him to say something, but he doesn’t come out with it directly. You try not to let it show that you’re worried, that you’re skeptical, that you’re wondering if he thinks he’s too tired, too busy for this, too.

You’re expecting him to start how most break-ups start. You know I love you, right? And then the telltale but… would come, and you would have to hold back your tears and smile for him, and tell him you know, and that you understand it isn’t the right time, but maybe one day, someday, when he isn’t everyone’s Jung Jaehyun anymore — only yours.

“You love me, right?”

It’s not what you’d been expecting. Nor is it the playful little text he’d sent — no laughs, no jokes. His expression is somber, mouth pressed into a thin line.

“You know I do.”

“A lot, right?”

“A lot,” you confirm softly.

“Then whatever it is that you’re thinking about us,” he says quietly. “Don’t. Don’t think it. Don’t do it.”

“Jaehyun—”

“I know it’s hard,” his fingers dig into your skin a little. “I know I put you through a lot. I know you think that I’m suffering because of this relationship too. I know everything. But whatever you think I’m going to do, I won’t do it — not ever. So if you’re thinking of it too, I’m begging you. Don’t. Please.”

Maybe he had noticed all this time. A wave of guilt washes over you when you see the pained look on his face; perhaps you were even more transparent than you’d originally thought. You nod slowly to show your understanding, and he continues.

“I know yesterday wasn’t the best you could have hoped for,” he carefully avoids apologizing, although it’s written all over his features. “For me, too. I… I wanted something different. It’ll be better next time. Do you believe me?”

You hear him swallow — his nails are biting into your thigh a little, so you have to gently peel his hand off. Your fingers replace it, tightening around his palm as you nod.

“I believe you.”

“And you trust me, right?”

“With my life.”

“Then can you put your faith in me right now?” He asks. “Don’t panic. Just — just say yes.”

He pats around his pants, finally deciding to slip his hand into his left-hand pocket. Unlike on the Ferris wheel, he manages to extract something, but he keeps it closed in his fist. It’s shaking a little as he takes your hand in his other one, pressing something small and hard into your palm before he curls your fingers over it. His hold keeps your fist closed as he starts talking.

“It’s not immediate. We’ll figure it out. We’ll tell the right people, and they’ll help us tell everyone else — the public, the press. It doesn’t have to happen right now, or any time soon either— not if you don’t want it to. We can take it slow, or whatever. Anything you want — just as long as it’s with me.”

“Jaehyun,” you shake your head, a little dizzy. “What are you talking about?”

He slowly loosens his hold on your fingers, his hand dropping to the same spot on your knee. You’re free to open your fist, and when you do, you can’t help but feel a little stumped.

“I don’t mean now,” he repeats, now sounding doubly worried. “It’s not — It’s just…”

“You’ll get in trouble. We can’t.”

“I won’t. Not if we do this right. Like I said, we can do it slowly. Months — years, however long it takes to do it well. What it is — it’s just… a promise.”

“A promise,” you echo. It does have a nice ring to it.

“That I’m not leaving you. Not ever. And… if you say yes, that you won’t either.”

Your coffee has probably turned cold. Jaehyun is watching you carefully, looking like he’s trying hard not to bite his lip. You look back down at your hand, and he speaks up again.

“You know I love you, right?”

You smile slightly. “No but?”

“No but,” he agrees.

The ring fits nicely on your finger; maybe it’s well-measured from the amount of times he’s held your hand tightly in his.

“Okay, Jaehyun,” you whisper. “I promise.”

When you place your hand on his, he twists his palm, slender fingers gently twirling the ring around the base of your finger.

Minutes later, he hands you your coffee. It’s sweet and milky, the way he knows you like it best. When he settles back down on the bed, you notice his eyes travel to your finger again, a small smile playing on his lips.

Perhaps, in this moment, you finally learn to ask the right questions — not about if it’s worth it, but if he is.

And in this moment, where he sits in silence with you, the sunlight pouring in from his window hitting the tips of his hair and the end of his nose, with the knowledge that his heart is as full as yours, you come to realize that there can — and never will be — any doubt of that.

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