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kinokoshoujoart · 16 days

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is it really toxic yuri if she doesn’t demand you cut off your fingers for her happiness???

”You have given me gifts over 10,000 times. Congratulations!” haha happy wife happy life…. (my fingers are stumps)

as some of you may or may not have realized i am powerless to the siren call of the ultimate devilish blond Harvest Moon Scum Man, and given that the Japanese version of DS Cute gives you TWO saveslots and TWO hands and the ability to to be in a literal toxic lesbian best friendrriage with ultimate devilish mischievous blonde Harvest Moon Scum Woman i have no choice but to meet all of the Witch Princess’s super reasonable honey do list!!

so one of those fun little non negotiable requests from majo-sama is that you need to give her presents 10,000 times before she’ll even consider marrying you, even if you meet all the marriage requirements!

i don’t mean 10,000 items total— even if you give her a stack of 99 items, it only counts as +1 towards the “items given to witch” counter. you have to give her 10,000 items individually…

in normal gameplay (giving her 1 gift a day, accounting for the holidays when her house is closed) you’ll eventually reach 10,000 gifts!…in your 95th year!

you COULD give her 100 gifts a day every day and knock it out in less than a year, and this was my strategy at first! i quickly realized adding another tedious daily chore to a pile of tedious daily chores slowed the game loop to a crawl and splitting items out was really fucking annoying actually

on the other hand, in 5 IRL hours, you can just get it all done in one visit to her house and never worry about it ever again.

“wow, that sounds like a really great use of my limited time on god’s green earth! how can i too win my future wife’s heart through button mashing my fingers into a pulp?” you ask?

˚✧₊⁎optimized pro gamer technique for breaking your fingers yuri style!!٩(๑❛ᴗ❛๑)۶⁎⁺˳✧༚

you will need

dog (each time you show your pet, this adds +1 to the gift counter the same way a gift would)

the bottom screen should be the map screen (reduces loading time between conversations compared to having your rucksack open)

cast endurance on fingers (wait this is redundant, you saw yuri in the title…)

ideal but not required

sometimes when you enter her house, she’s facing the side and her walk cycle never starts. it’s great if you get this glitch because then you can just stand in place for the entire duration without having to look at the screen, and even like watch a movie or whatever while you do all this, instead of accidentally dropping your dog every time she walks to the other bookshelf

if you’re wondering “wait, doesn’t Witch Princess hate dogs and love cats? why are you showing her your dog?” you are absolutely correct! she yells at you to get that stupid beast away from her every time you show your dog to her! her FP goes down by 3 each time! however, since her response to the dog is shorter than her response to the cat, you end up saving like .6 seconds per conversation, saving over 1.5 hours total, so the dog is what she gets

anyway, in true Karen HM64 tradition, after being repeatedly harassed by having a dog she isn’t fond of shoved in her face ten thousand times in a row for like five hours straight, naturally this makes her want to marry you! who said good old fashioned courtly love is dead?!

* as a small note, if you care enough to keep track and give her an actual gift at the 10th, 100th, 1000th, and 10000th mark, you’ll get 4 of the limited Witch Photos early on, which each give you +1 sweet sweet farm degree points every day… honestly that’s not much, but the pain of being told “your hands are full soooo no reward for you lmaoooo sucks to be you” was too much to bear, so i kept track and used a normal present for the 10th, 100th, 1000th, and 10000th…

#my pony has TWO HANDS and they are both MANGLED!!!#i’m normal about hmds i play hmds in. a normal way #i have a walkthrough that i wrote for my own playthroughs because i like to do things in a certain order #half tempted to post it sometime to see if anyone has more efficient ways of doing things #queue tea pie #bokumono #harvest moon #harvest moon ds cute #harvest moon ds #hmds #hmds cute #witch princess #hmds witch princess

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c-is-for-circinate · 5 years

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Something that’s been very interesting to me, in this new wave of post-miniseries Good Omens fandom, is the apparent fannish consensus that Crowley is, in fact, bad at his job. That he’s actually quite nice. That he’s been skating by hiding his general goodness from hell by taking credit for human evil and doling out a smattering of tiny benign inconveniences that he calls bad.

I get the urge towards that headcanon, and I do think the Crowley in the miniseries comes off as nicer than the one in the book. (I think miniseries Crowley and Aziraphale are both a little nicer, a little more toothless, than the versions of themselves in the book.) But maybe it’s because I was a book fan first, or maybe it’s because I just find him infinitely more interesting this way--I think Crowley, even show!Crowley, has the capacity to be very good at his job of sowing evil. And I think that matters to the story as a whole.

A demon’s job on Earth, and specifically Crowley’s job on Earth, isn’t to make people suffer. It’s to make people sin. And the handful of ‘evil’ things we see Crowley do over the course of the series are effective at that, even if the show itself doesn’t explore them a lot.

Take the cell phone network thing, for instance. This gets a paragraph in the book that’s largely brushed off in the conversation with Hastur and Ligur, and I think it’s really telling:

What could he tell them? That twenty thousand people got bloody furious? That you could hear the arteries clanging shut all across the city? And that then they went back and took it out on their secretaries or traffic wardens or whatever, and they took it out on other people? In all kinds of vindictive little ways which, and here was the good bit, they thought up themselves. For the rest of the day. The pass-along effects were incalculable. Thousands and thousands of souls all got a faint patina of tarnish, and you hardly had to lift a finger.

In essence, without any great expenditure of effort (look, I’d never say Crowley isn’t slothful, but that just makes him efficient), he’s managed to put half of London in a mental and emotional state that Crowley knows will make them more inclined to sin. He’s given twenty thousand or a hundred thousand or half a million people a Bad Day. Which, okay, it’s just a bad day--but bad days are exhausting. Bad days make you snap, make you fail at things, make you feel guiltier and more stressed out in the aftermath when you wake up the next day, makes everything a little worse. Bad days matter.

Maybe it’s because I’m a believer in the ripple effect of small kindnesses, and that means I have to believe in its opposite. Maybe it’s just that I, personally, have had enough days that were bad enough that a downed cell network (or an angry coworker because of a downed cell network) would honestly have mattered. But somebody who deliberately moves through the world doing their best to make everyone’s lives harder, with the aim of encouraging everybody around them to be just a little crueler, just a little angrier, just a little less empathetic--you know what, yes. I do call that successful evil.

It’s subtle, is the thing. That’s why Hastur and Ligur don’t get it, don’t approve of it. Not because Crowley isn’t good at his job, but because we’ve seen from the beginning that Hastur and Ligur are extremely out of touch with humanity and the modern world and just plain aren’t smart enough to get it. It’s a strategy that relies on understanding how humans work, what our buttons are and how to press them. It’s also a strategy that’s remarkably advanced in terms of free will. Hastur and Ligur deliberately tempt and coerce and entrap individuals into sinning, but Crowley never even gets close. We never see him say to a single person, ‘hey, I’ve got an idea for you, why don’t you go do this bad thing?’ He sets up conditions to encourage humans to actually do the bad things they’re already thinking of themselves. He creates a situation and opens it up to the results of free choice. Every single thing a person does after Crowley’s messed with them is their own decision, without any demonic coercion to blame for any of it.

You see it again in the paintball match. "They wanted real guns, I gave them what they wanted.” In this case, Crowley didn’t need to irritate anybody into wanting to do evil--the desire to shoot and hurt and maybe even kill their own coworkers was already present in every combatant on that paintball field. Crowley just so happened to be there at exactly the right time to give them the opportunity to turn that fleeting, kind-of-bad-but-never-acted-upon desire into real, concrete, attempted murder. Sure, nobody died--where would be the fun in a pile of corpses? But now forty-odd people who may never have committed a real act of violence in their entire lives, caught in a moment of weakness with real live weapons in their hands, will get to spend the rest of their lives knowing that given the opportunity and the tiniest smidgen of plausible deniability, they are absolutely the sort of people who could and would kill another human being they see every single day over a string of petty annoyances.

Crowley understands the path between bad thought and evil action. He knows it gets shorter when somebody is upset or irritated, and that it gets shorter when people practice turning one into the other. He understands that sometimes, removing a couple of practical obstacles is the only nudge a person needs--no demonic pressure or circumvention of free will required.

I love this interpretation, because I love the idea that Crowley, who’s been living on Earth for six thousand years, actually gets people in a way no other demon can. I love the idea that Crowley, the very first tempter, who was there when free will was invented, understands how it works and how to use it better than maybe anyone else. And I really love the idea that Crowley our hero, who loves Aziraphale and saves the world, isn’t necessarily a good guy.

There’s a narrative fandom’s been telling that, at its core, is centered around the idea that Crowley is good, and loves and cares and is nice, and always has been. Heaven and its rigid ideas of Right and Wrong is itself the bad thing. Crowley is too good for Heaven, and was punished for it, but under all the angst and pain and feelings of hurt and betrayal, he’s the best of all of them after all.

That’s a compelling story. There’s a reason we keep telling it. The conflict between kindness and Moral Authority, the idea that maybe the people in charge are the ones who’re wrong and the people they’ve rejected are both victim and hero all at once--yeah. There’s a lot there to connect with, and I wouldn’t want to take it away from anyone. But the compelling story I want, for me, is different.

I look at Crowley and I want a story about someone who absolutely has the capacity for cruelty and disseminating evil into the world. Somebody who’s actually really skilled at it, even if all he does is create opportunities, and humans themselves just keep living down to and even surpassing his expectations. Somebody who enjoys it, even. Maybe he was unfairly labeled and tossed out of heaven to begin with, but he’s embraced what he was given. He’s thrived. He is, legitimately, a bad person.

And he tries to save the world anyway.

He loves Aziraphale. He helps save the entire world. Scared and desperate and determined and devoted, he drives through a wall of fire for the sake of something other than himself. He likes humans, their cleverness, their complexities, the talent they have for doing the same sort of evil he does himself, the talent they have for doing the exact opposite. He cares.

It’s not a story about someone who was always secretly good even though they tried to convince the whole world and themself that they weren’t. It’s a story about someone who, despite being legitimately bad in so many ways, still has the capacity to be good anyway. It’s not about redemption, or about what Heaven thinks or judges or wants. It’s about free will. However terrible you are or were or have the ability to be, you can still choose to do a good thing. You can still love. You can still be loved in return.

And I think that matters.

#good omens #driveby meta attack #I have been writing in circles around and around Crowley since I watched the show a month ago #but I think this might be the thing at the middle #or close to it anyway #free will doesn't just mean that 'good people' can choose to do bad things #it means that 'bad people' can choose to do good ones #and it's complicated #but it's a lot

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trashytoastboi · 4 years

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I am so glad to see your ask box open again! Could you please post another hcs for the North Blue Boys (Law, Hawkins, Sanji, Drake) all together at a Sora convention?

Heyya!🍀 Of course ^.^ I hope you enjoy! I really loved writing this, I really do love all the North Blue boyyo's.

Headcanons: Law, Hawkins, Sanji, X-Drake at a Sora convention

Trafalgar Law, Basil Hawkins, Sanji, X-Drake

🍄🔮🍽🦖 Conventions entail so much from panels, to collectables, a social gathering of those with some love for what is there (or the reluctantly forced friend/sibling/partner/parent) so when there was a whole convention for Sora - The Warrior of the Sea, it was enough to stir anyone who followed it with excitement. The whole convention was filled with actors, cosplayers, comic books, live stage plays, merchandise and even rare collectables.

🍄🔮🍽🦖Enter Law, who at this point… is an expert of the Sora convention, he knows the entire place well since he has been one of the most faithful attendees of SoraCon since its creation. He is a bit of an exclusive hunter, admittedly has collected all the special edition comics, quite a few t-shirts and a secret collection of figurines… his most recent was collecting comic cards.

🍄🔮🍽🦖Hakwins has only attended a few SoraCons, but has enjoyed it thoroughly every single time. He often gets into deep discussions over fan theories and ideas over what will happen in the story…admires the workmanship that goes into the cosplay outfits and gets stuck talking about fabric choice and sewing techniques… (He has a lot of experiences considering he spent a lot of time making his own voodoo dolls)

🍄🔮🍽🦖Sanji is a first timer to SoraCon this time around, however attending with Law so he doesn’t fall victim to the typical first timer traps…was legitimately wondering why Law was finding ‘creative’ places to hide food to smuggle into the convention, eventually learning why. Sanji is also the guy who obliges every single ‘free hugs’ sign person. Was slightly irked by the Germa 66 cosplayers since they remind him of his siblings…was half tempted to actually use his transformation into Stealth Black and pass it off as cosplay.

🍄🔮🍽🦖X-Drake is literally there for the comic books, you can always find him with his face buried in a book, eyes full of wonder and legitimately happy…Also the Con mom. Need food? He has it. Water? He has it. Got a headache? He has something for that too. Need a buddy to walk with and protect you from creepers? Drake is your man. Cosplayer had an incident and ripped an outfit? He may not be able to do much himself, but he knows Hawkins. Same with any injuries, he will take them to Law.

🍄🔮🍽🦖They somehow always arrive separately (minus Sanji and Law who are attending together) yet always end up together and go enjoy the con as a group.

🍄🔮🍽🦖Law always looks forward to the new merch and exclusive comic book specials, and the live stage play… He gets very excited about it.

🍄🔮🍽🦖Hawkins enjoys finding people to converse with as well seeing all the cosplayers, also complete fanatic for collecting autographs.

🍄🔮🍽🦖 Sanji loves the overall vibe and did use his Stealth Black, getting tons of attention for his ‘cosplay’, especially loved the attention he got from the fangirls. Nearly died when they asked for hugs…he became the ‘Free hugs’ sign guy.

🍄🔮🍽🦖 X-Drake always looks forward to the comic books, sometimes there are new releases or special editions and he is 110% there for all of them.

🍄🔮🍽🦖When they all eventually converge as a group, there is at least 20 minutes of strategy meeting on the first day when they fully map out the most efficient way to cover the entire con, with enough time to see everything. Including a stop at six different comic book stalls, the cosplay central, the live stage play, merch and celebrity corner.

🍄🔮🍽🦖 Every year the con seems to grow in fans, along with content. They actually love the fact that it keeps growing and more and more is being added to one of their mutually favourite things.

🍄🔮🍽🦖Law saw a comic book bundled with a one time collectors gold edition figurine and he nearly lost his mind. He ABSOLUTELY. NEEDED. TO. HAVE. IT. When he eventually got it, he was fanboying so hard over it that he had to remind himself that… he had kept the inner fanboy under wraps for such a long time, yet it all came out.

🍄🔮🍽🦖 Hawkins actually came in cosplay… it was hard to tell it was him and at some point he was mistaken for one of the professional actors in the stage performance. Law, Sanji and Drake all nearly died of a heart attack when Hawkins actually smiled for all the photos

🍄🔮🍽🦖 Sanji saw a genderbend cosplay of Stealth Black and loved it so much, he asked for a bunch of photos. Also got slightly irritated when he was in his Stealth Black, since someone came to tell him his costume looked ‘fake’ and nothing like the comic books… Wanted to comment the fact he was technically the REAL Stealth Black.

🍄🔮🍽🦖 Drake nearly collapsed under the weight of his comic books, complaining that he was absolutely broke now…because the budget completely died since there was too many things he wanted and had no self control.

🍄🔮🍽🦖 Law felt awkward sitting amongst children when watching the stage play

🍄🔮🍽🦖 Hawkins was taking selfies with the celebrities

🍄🔮🍽🦖 Sanji learned so much for his first SoraCon

🍄🔮🍽🦖X-Drake found a t-shirt that said ‘Dino Dad’ and instantly bought it.

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johnny-and-dora · 4 years

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could never want for more (when you’re near)

65. “help me find my shirt.” “you know, as much as i want to...i don’t want to.” requested by anon or, shameless early relationship fluff counts as a healthy coping mechanism, right?

read on ao3 -

Amy blinks herself awake in the early morning light, coming to her senses slowly, head clouded by a slight hangover that seems to pair nicely with the foggy autumnal morning outside. She’s confused and honestly, a little disappointed to find she’s alone in her bed – she has to admit she treasures her boyfriend’s sleepy smile in the mornings, the way he’ll pull her closer to him before he’s even fully awake, mumble a muffled good morning that tickles, a low and warm hum in her ear. The days that start off that way always seem to go better.

The confusion only increases tenfold when her alarm clock reads 7:17am despite it being a rare, precious shared day off with said boyfriend, who is notably a) not a morning person and b) mysteriously absent, his phone missing from the extra charging cable she bought him.

She’s dragging him to one of her favourite art galleries today, knowing the exhibition they have on the art of movie posters will catch his attention. Then it’s lunch in a cute French-themed café she found and a walk in the park near her apartment. She’s been looking forward to spending this time with Jake all week. He even put a reminder on his phone so he wouldn’t forget, just one of many recent tiny gestures that speak a million words about how much effort he’s been putting into their relationship.

Amy’s about to launch a full investigation as to why he’s out of bed criminally early when he emerges from the hallway clad only in his boxers, phone in hand.

“Holt called.” He says while wriggling into his jeans, grimacing apologetically in a way she knows means all her plans are instantly out the window. “Apparently a witness came in with new info on the Abernathy murders.”

Amy nods, understanding at once – he’s been working this case for weeks, desperate for any kind of new lead. There’s been a lot of coffee drinking and teeth grinding and her offering sympathetic smiles over her monitor whenever he lifts his head from a long period slumped against his desk.

There’s also been a lot of letting him choose where they order from or what film to watch and her letting him be the big spoon. She even brought some Orangina for when he’s over, which she knows he appreciated even if it apparently wasn’t exactly right (She personally can’t tell the difference, but she’s not about to start that debate again).

And as much as she mourns her original plans to spend the day together, Amy understands how important this is, likely more than most other girlfriends would. Hell, if their roles were reversed, she’d probably be halfway out the door already.

That doesn’t necessarily mean she can’t mess with him a little, though. Or make the most of the time they have while he’s still here. In the name of maximum productivity, of course.

Amy Santiago is nothing but efficient.

She props herself up on her elbow to get a better look at him, purposefully letting the comforter drop to her lap so she instantly has the upper hand in any negotiations they might be making. He’s fully engrossed in the search for the rest of his clothes, strewn across her bedroom a little too enthusiastically last night in a post-Shaw’s haze. It could take him a while to notice her, but it’s worth the wait.

“Will you help me find my shirt?”

“You know, as much as I want to…” She says, slipping into that low sultry voice she knows he’s utterly powerless against, “I really don’t want to.”

Jake finally glances up at her and freezes midway through putting on his sock, eyes suddenly wide.

“Oh, that is so not fair.”

“What?” She says innocently. “You’re my extremely cute, very handsome charming boyfriend. I’m just trying to get a good look before you disappear and leave me alone all day.”

She’s expecting the usual bravado or blatant over-confidence that Jake usually exudes, some kind of snappy retort or playful engagement in their usual verbal sparring. What takes her aback is the way he goes quiet, wonder and maybe even shyness flooding his expression.

Jake is a lot of things. He has a wide and vivid emotional spectrum that she’s gotten to know pretty well over the past few years. He is rarely ever shy.

“You…you think I’m handsome?” He says – and there’s the dopiest, cutest disbelieving look on his face that melts away all her playfulness entirely.

“Of course I do.” She says, softer now. “I mean, I like you for lots of other reasons, but- “

He perches tentatively on the end of her bed, shirt clearly forgotten. “You like me for lots of reasons?”

“Oh my god, yes, you dork.” She laughs lightly, sitting up and tucking her hair behind both ears. “I thought…that was obvious?” Amy gestures back and forth between them, loosely symbolising the whole relationship thing that they’ve been doing for almost three months now, and is relieved to finally see him smile, brilliant and bright.

“I…yes. Yeah, of course. I like you too, for a million billion different reasons, obviously- “ He runs his hand through his already messy hair, face a little flushed. It’s a sight to behold, a flustered, half-naked Jake Peralta. She’s studied many revered and respected pieces of art in her time, but he might be her favourite.

“It’s just, uh. Sometimes it’s still kinda surreal to me. That you actually like me back. That we’re, um…that I’m…”

“My boyfriend?” She prompts, and the reverent look on his face could power the entire city in a blackout. He shifts closer, enough for the scent of his cologne to pleasantly flood her senses.

“Yes. That I’m Amy Santiago’s boyfriend. Man, I should get that on a t-shirt.”

“Please don’t.”

“Oh Ames, you know Charles is probably hand-stitching them as we speak.” Amy wrinkles her nose in disgust, pushing him away as he laughs, bright and loud and sweet. The world is fuller, better somehow when he laughs, even if it’s about Charles’s weird obsession with their romantic relationship. Suddenly things not going to plan is an opportunity to take stock of her stationary needs and to organise a date night rather than the onset of a full-on anxiety attack.

“Ugh, I’m sorry.” He sighs, intertwining their hands – Amy furrows her brow, confused.

“For what? Charles? He’s pretty intense, but his enthusiasm can be actually kinda-“

“No, no. I meant for ruining all the plans you had for us today.”

“Oh. You’re sweet, but it’s okay. It’s the job, you and I know that better than anyone.” She says softly, unable to resist the impulse to card her fingers through his soft curls. He takes her hand back, pressing a kiss to each of her knuckles.

“Still. It sucks. Now I have to leave my gorgeous, incredible girlfriend to go work a stupid case I don’t even care about.”

“Jake, this is all you’ve cared about for weeks.”

“That is so not true.” He says, pouting. “You’re what I care about.”

And well, there it is. If she wasn’t going to tempt him to stay a little longer before, now she barely has a choice. They easily slip from a sweet kiss into something hungrier, more passionate – painfully aware of her morning breath and general dedication to punctuality, Amy tries one last fruitless attempt to get Jake to work on time.

“You’re going to be late…” It comes out breathy and trembling and it’s poorly timed, really, because he’s just started trailing kisses down her neck and collarbone in that way she’ll never get enough of.

“Don’t care.” He mumbles into her shoulder, warm and low in exactly the way she’s been craving. “Amy Santiago thinks I’m handsome.”

It’s quite a bit later when Amy finally manages to muster up the willpower to gently pry him off her, pupils blown and breathing heavy. She revels in the moment before laughing as he grumbles about having to put his jeans on again. Then she dedicates herself to studying his sleepy, blissed-out lopsided grin as he finally manages to find his shirt, partially hidden underneath her bed.

“You know I’m going to ride that high for weeks, right?” He grins at her as he buttons up his slightly rumpled flannel, smoothing it down as best he can.

“Yeah, yeah.” She waves him off. “Don’t tell anyone the reason why you’re so late. I have a reputation to maintain.”

She scrolls through Instagram as he laces up his sneakers, smiling at the message from Kylie asking about the guy in her most recent post. It’s a slightly blurry selfie of the two of them, a couple drinks in at the squad’s latest Shaw’s get-together, her head resting on his shoulder. It may not be the best photo ever taken, but the way Jake looks at her so tenderly, so happily, makes her incredibly fond of it, nonetheless.

And it’s not like he fills a missing part of her or anything equally as mushy. She’s always been whole, an entire living breathing person that doesn’t need a relationship to sustain her. But there’s something, there’s always been something about Jake that makes her feel lighter whenever he’s around. Less trapped in her own head, less worried about what other people think.

His sweet and open good-naturedness and his talent for making her laugh take care of that. And he always takes care of her. Just as she’ll always take care of him. That’s been an unspoken truth for much longer than either of them would easily admit.

“I’ll be back as soon as I can, okay? And we’re doing a proper date night tonight. Fancy restaurant and a movie that isn’t Die Hard and everything.”

“Wow.”

“I know. I am the king of romance.” He leans in closer, eyes wide, whispering fake-conspiratorially. “We might even get to second base.”

Amy snorts. “If you’re lucky.”

“Lucky enough to be with you.”

He kisses her once more, quick and sweet, before hurrying out the door; Amy dreamily ghosts her fingers over her lips, grinning. She’s never had something like this with anyone before, and though it scares her a little, she secretly revels in the quiet thrill of already caring so deeply about him.

With promises of many more mornings like these glimmering on the horizon, it’s all too easy for her to climb back under the covers and enjoy the sweetest of dreams.

#b99 #b99 fic #peraltiago #jake x amy #brooklyn 99 #this is literally just them being crazy into each other bc. idk. it's what i personally need n to cope lol #i hope you enjoy!#my writing #shut up sian

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citadelsushi · 5 years

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Trust Tomorrow

I think I’m finally ready to start posting the origin story for my Avory Shepard.

Art by the wonderful @antivancorvo

Also on AO3 and FF.net

Over and over, Avory watches as white paints her hand, binds her fingers into a fist. She wraps her hand in time with the rise and fall of her chest, the rhythm every bit as natural.Tape over hand, under wrist, through fingers, under palm, over hand. She doesn’t have to watch, doesn’t have to count each roll around her wrist, but she does. She could move more efficiently, get it done faster so she can finish her food, but she prefers taking her time.

It’s her post-dinner ritual, her calm before the storm. At her right, Nick is engaged in his own routine, cigarette dangling from his lips while tapping away at a datapad. On the table between them lies a shard of broken glass, neat lines of red sand cut and ready. A gentle snowfall of dust floats around them, illuminated by light leaking through between the slats in the walls.

“A little early for that, isn’t it?” A relatively unfamiliar tone asks, awkward in its attempt to sound casual.

Nick plucks the cigarette from his mouth. “You say that like she doesn’t do this shit every time.” His words tumble out on a cloud of smoke.

Avory looks up from her task, her eyes landing on the uneasy teenager lurking in the kitchen corner, quirks a smile. “And aren’t you late? Shouldn’t you be out fondling strangers by now?” She cups her free hand in the air, twiddling her fingers around an invisible ball sack.

Aaron drops his eyes and clasps his hands together, fingers nervously playing with one another at his waist. Nick catches her sidelong glance by coincidence, forces her to do a double take at his stern stare, his brows pressed down firmly over his eyes. She tilts her head at his disapproval, mouths the question, “what?”.

Sara appears behind Aaron, raven hair twisted into a collection of tight curls, and slides one manicured hand over his shoulder. “Be nice.” She purrs. “Aaron isn’t used to blowing his load on demand yet. Don’t worry, sweetie, you’ll get there.”

Avory finishes her left hand, peers through strands of blonde up to Sara. “Are we supposed to believe you actually like strange old men jizzing all over your face?”

“They’re not all old, and they’re not all men.” She lowers her voice, as if to share a secret, “Lately, they haven’t even all been human.” Aaron visibly flinches, Nick looks up from his data pad, suddenly interested. “But, yes.” Sara chuckles, brushing off Avory’s antagonism. “Besides, someone wants to slap me across the face, they pay me way more than what you get to take a hit five times harder.” She pauses, moves to stand between Avory and Nick, bends at the waist and quickly inhales a line of sand through one of her nostrils. She sighs, invigorated. “And I’m not smart enough to do that shit Nick fucks around with.” She flicks her wrist at the datapad in Nick’s hands, then moves back to Aaron, pats him on the back, “Trust me, you’ll start to like it. Once you get regulars, it feels more like dating. I’ve only ever been hurt, you know, like on purpose, not just from a rough fucking, like, four times. Maybe five.”

Sara shrugs with her usual nonchalance, a grin playing across her lips. Avory is pretty sure she’s kidding, but Aaron’s face pales just the same. Avory shakes her head and hooks her next wrap over her right thumb.

Nick drops his datapad on the table and grabs a piece of crust from Avory’s plate, shoves it into his mouth. He stands, makes his way to the two with whom they share the house. “This shit’s only temporary, Aaron. You won’t be selling your dick forever.” He claps his hand on Aaron’s shoulder and the younger man smiles sheepishly, seemingly more appreciative of Nick’s friendly contact than Sara’s dismissive pats. Nick lifts his cigarette to his lips, inhales, and raises his empty hand over Sara’s shoulder. She eyes him warily. “Sara, you... I think you’re fucked. Literally. You will be taking face shots forever.” His hand lands on her shoulder with empathy, but there is no hiding the shit-eating grin that takes over his face. It makes Avory smile too.

“Fuck you, Nick.” Sara laughs.

Nick slides his hand down to the small of her back, wearing the same cocky grin. “Do I get a discount?”

“We can work something out.” Sara winks, but she can’t hold her composure as well as Nick, and she laughs.

“Hey!” A new voice sounds from behind them and Finch appears, delivers a playful punch to Nick’s shoulder as he passes. “Hands off the merchandise, asshole.”

Nick snorts and lets his hand slide around Sara’s waist, pulling her in for a quick side hug before releasing her. “You running security tonight, Finch?”

Finch nods, makes his way to the table and presses his nose into powder and broken glass, inhaling deeply. “All weekend. Nothing like listening to a bunch of other people get laid while I stand outside, bored as fuck.”

Avory scoffs. “Oh Finch, we all know you find ways to entertain yourself.”

This makes Nick chuckle quietly, earning him a stern look from Finch.

“So what? I got too horned up the first few times.” He looks around the room to find everyone, even Aaron, holding back laughter at his expense. “Fuck you guys. I don’t anymore! Sara’s screaming just gets annoying after a while.”

“You’re such a fucking liar. I’ve seen the wet spots on your pants.” Sara saunters back to the table, inhales another line of sand. When she straightens, her eyes are glazed over. Avory recognizes the veil as more than a high, deeper than a coping mechanism. Even her voice drops half an octave as she shifts into strictly business. “Boys, we really need to get moving. Avory, good luck tonight. Try not to die. Nick, try not to black out this time, huh? I don’t want to wake up to another shit on the floor.”

Nick grins, takes another drag of his cigarette. “No promises.”

Sara moves toward the door and Aaron falls in line behind her, his dark eyes angled at the floor. He forces a weak smile at Nick and Avory; she nods in acknowledgement, but doesn’t bother returning the smile. As he passes, she notices he’s wearing the same clothes as the day he arrived, his shirt still pressed and his hair still coiffed, but he doesn’t seem to fill them as well anymore. Finch hurries to snort one more line, then shuffles out the door, trying to keep up with Sara. The guy might be standing guard, but he clearly doesn’t hold an ounce of power in the trio.

“Kid doesn’t know what he got himself into.” Nick says once the door closes behind them.

“He’ll get used to it.”

Avory glances up from her hand to find Nick leaning back against the sink, his arms folded in front of his chest. “Were we looking at the same kid just now? He looked like a fucking ghost. And you gave him shit.”

“I was kidding.” She snaps defensively. “You say way worse to Sara.”

“Sara grew up here, she can handle it. That kid can’t.”

Avory sighs and begins to unwrap her recently finished right hand, coiling the tape back into a spool. Nick’s stare doesn’t leave her, and though she doesn’t look, she can predict the look on his face all too well. Piercing blue eyes narrowed, one brow raised inquisitively, his lips pursed. The dirty blonde curls falling onto his forehead are soft, but somehow don’t detract from the seriousness in his expression. The same look she wears when he’s being an ass. Sometimes she swears they really are related.

“He can always go home.”

“Didn’t he leave home because his mom tried to kill him or some shit?”

“Shit, I never heard the full story.” Avory scrunches her nose, begins to unwrap her left hand. “But he had his choice. He joined up. Shit, he still had a better fucking start than anyone in the real world and his only skill is being fucking good looking.”

Nick winces at her severity. “Sex work is probably a lot harder than he expected.”

Avory snorts, looks up to see if Nick made that pun on purpose. The same pinched expression tells her not to dwell on it. “Right, because getting a bunch of people off is so difficult. They get their own security detail for fuck’s sake.”

“I don’t know. Taking two dicks up the ass at once sounds pretty difficult.”

Avory snorts a laugh, a smile spreads like wildfire across her face. “Ouch, fuck. That makes me hurt just thinking about it.”

“That’s what I thought. If it were so easy, you’d have joined ‘em by now.”

Avory looks up to find Nick smiling again, far too full of himself as usual, eagerly awaiting her response. She’s tempted to stick out her tongue. “I’m better at fighting than I am at fucking.”

Nick chuckles, but the sound is hollow. “Practice makes perfect and all that, right?”

Their eyes lock and Nick’s smile fades, his arms tighten across his chest. Avory looks down at her hand. She knows what is coming and she hopes that maybe if she pretends to be oblivious, she can avoid the conversation. Maybe.

“Listen, Avory. I know-”

No such luck. Avory sighs, drops her hands between her knees, lets the remaining tape dangle off her palm, spiraling midair. “Fuck, Nick, can you fucking quit it?”

“Whoa, calm down, killer.” Nick holds his hands up in surrender. “All I’m saying is we can’t live in this shit hole until we die.”

Avory has to chuckle at that, though it’s dry. “At least this shit hole has a roof.”

“You used to like sleeping under the stars.”

Avory finishes unwrapping her left hand and stretches her fingers. “I also like having a real bed instead of a fucking cardboard mat.”

“We can’t stay here forever, Avey.”

Avory flinches at the softness in his tone, silently curses him for using that name, the name she used to call herself when she was too young to pronounce it correctly. The name he had continued to call her affectionately, even now, so many years later she could barely remember which foster home it was in that they met. Her fingers curl into fists and then stretch out again. Fuck him for using that name against her.

“Yeah, well I’m not trying to live forever. Ignis elegit nos.” She repeats the Red’s mantra, her voice grave and flat.

The same mantra they had repeated at each stage of their initiation, until the beatings left them without oxygen, “ignis” being the only word either could spit out among chipped teeth and blood. The same lyric that Konnor spewed from his sinister lips as a command, one that each member knew and obeyed without hesitation. The same words whispered with a smile, gifted with food, with comfort, with promises of a family just before iron fresh from the fire burned an R into their flesh.

Nick frowns, uncrosses his arms and returns to his seat on her right. He stares at his datapad, the same outdated piece of shit he’s had for months now. He’s silent for a second, then ten. It’s going on 45 and Avory leans forward, takes a line of sand into her nose before he speaks again.

“You’re a biotic, some people actively recruit biotics.” He sounds so solemn Avory almost feels guilty. “I’m smart, probably better with tech than most of those fuckers working normal jobs, anyway.” He leans forward, rests his elbows on the table. “If I can find us a way out, you’ll come with me, right?”

Avory swallows, her brows coming together as she shifts her weight in her seat, her eyes dropping to Nick’s hands on the table. “You’d go without me?”

Nick lets a quiet laugh escape his lips and sits back, drawing his arms back over his chest. He lifts a leg, playfully kicks at her chair. “Fuck no. You’re my little sister.”

Avory rights her chair, glances up at him through her lashes. She didn’t need to ask, but she likes hearing it. They’ve been together almost as long as either could remember, even at a distance, as they cycled through foster family after foster family. Blood meant nothing, he was her brother, their relationship forged by a longing for normality and comfort as much as it was by necessity.

“Yeah, okay, you go find us some fucking miracle and I’ll go with you to work a normal job.” She laughs, leans forward for another line. “Shit, maybe we can start paying rent on some shitty apartment, work in a cubicle. It’ll be great.”

“Hey, fuck you, okay.” Nick is only somewhat serious because he laughs. “I’ve got something in the works.”

Avory looks at her brother, searches his face for any clues. He gives nothing away, though she finds a new determination in his eyes, something that wasn’t there when he’s nagged her about this before. She always assumed it was a fantasy, just talk, like when he used to daydream about riding a giraffe and she used to dream about living among the stars.

“‘Kay, well can you work while you come watch me kick some sixth street ass?”

Nick nods and leans forward, inhales the last line on the glass, tips his head back as the sand enters his bloodstream. “Fuck!” He shakes his head and pinches the bridge of his nose.

Avory snorts. “Amateur.”

Nick comes back, punches her in the shoulder. Avory lifts her arm and balls her fist, leans forward, threatens to hit back.

“All right, all right!” Nick jerks away, folds his arms defensively in front of his chest. “Save it for later, killer.”

“Later is now.” Avory stands, shoves her wraps into the pockets of her sweats. “Let’s go, shithead.”

Notes: ignis elegit nos - fire chose us if you made it this far, thank you for reading!

#Mass Effect #Trust Tomorrow #Avory Shepard #tw: drug use #tw: sex work mention #earthborn shepard #custom shepard #loving those portraits is half the reason im posting this

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aspire-to-the-light · 6 years

Text

Executive momentum 3: Build up your home base

(Previous)

In my first term at Cambridge, I kept forgetting to lock my door whenever I left my room, and that made me kind of anxious because we had a known food thief in my student-dorm corridor. So I put a brightly coloured post-it note on the inside of my door, with “LOCK THE DOOR!” written on it. And then I didn’t forget any more.

I also kept being late to literally everything because I could never find my keys and card. I’d need to leave by 17:00 to arrive on time, so I’d throw some clothes on at 16:55, grab my water bottle, go to leave my room, and remember that I needed my key and card so that I could get back into the building. Then I’d spend half an hour searching for them and be half an hour late to the event. So I moved some furniture around so that there was a small table in the path between my bed and the door, with a brightly coloured orange box on top. Whenever I got home from something, I’d throw my keys and card into the orange box and then go flop into my bed. Then I didn’t lose them any more.

I used to constantly forget my meds, or be uncertain whether I’d taken my meds yet today, or remember some of my meds but not others. So I bought myself a pill organizer for £1, and left it on my bedside table so it’s the first thing I see in the morning. It’s always on my bedside table, so I don’t forget any of my meds.

I used to have a lot of trouble multitasking, because I’d be trying to read a book about a subject while also writing an essay about that subject, and I’d end up struggling with both because I didn’t have a large enough screen to comfortably look at both the essay and the book, or because I’d get caught in a loop of switching from one tab to the other and back and back again without realising that I should pick one tab and actually look at it. So then I got an extra monitor and set it up right next to where I work and now I work a lot more efficiently.

I used to really struggle with mornings because I’d have a bootstrapping problem - I’d need coffee to wake up, but be too sleepy to get out of bed and make myself coffee, so I’d lie in bed and scroll social media for the first few hours of my day. Then I just rearranged items in my room so my kettle was literally in reach of my bed.

Sometimes I get distracted from my work and stare into space. Then I covered literally every square inch of wall with random magazine cutouts, posters, and drawings. Then I didn’t stare into space nearly so much, because my eyes would always settle on something interesting that jerked me back into the real world.

One time I had a pretty serious envy problem, where I wasn’t taking advice from anyone more successful than me, because I was busy hating them for being more successful than me. I wrote a pithy line about how envy is unvirtuous, stuck it above my bed where I’d look at it every morning for a couple months, and came away with a much-less-serious envy problem.

Physical, localised coping methods build up and up and up over time, making you significantly better-off in the particular location where all your helpful objects are. If you have enough of them - calming pictures on your walls that help you with emotional management, a post-it note system on your fridge that reminds you when you need to buy more milk, an alarm clock on the other side of your room that makes you get out of bed to turn it off, a box to keep tempting distractions in that has “are you sure?” written on the lid - it ends up becoming impossible to keep track of them all, so you just take them for granted. You barely realise how much of them you’re using, until you take a weekend away and realise on Saturday evening that not only did you forget to lock your hotel room door, you left the key inside it too.

When you move, they’re very difficult to set back up again, because you aren’t always conscious of how many you have. You could try keeping a list of “stuff to remember to change in my environment whenever I’m in a new environment” every time you change something, but you make so many minor changes all the time - opening a window and adjusting the thermostat so the room temperature is just right, putting a lamp on the other side of a shelf so it doesn’t glare in your eyes too much, leaning your umbrella against the door so you won’t forget it. And many of the environmental supports aren’t even deliberate. Maybe you don’t realise how important it is that your desk faced away from your ceiling light until you move into a room where it doesn’t and you realise your pounding headache is because you’ve been staring directly at the light all day.

“Never leaving your room” is sort of shameful, and I used to feel vaguely like I “should get out” for reasons unknown to me but which must surely exist because people kept saying I should do it more. Now I think that’s silly. My room is very, very carefully engineered to be a perfect environment for me. Being in it directly makes me more powerful - I forget fewer things, I have free access to coffee and snacks-that-I-like, I have monitors and other gadgets set up to perfectly support the way I work, I can stay more focused and do more things and fix any problem that comes up with the array of problem-solving-tools available in my cupboards.

When I moved away from my hometown, I’d been doing judo for a solid decade. I passionately loved it, and it was really important to my mental health - exercise is very good for ADHD, being good at something consistently lifts my mood, and judo specifically was fantastic for my anger problems because I had a safe space in which to be as violent as I liked.

Then I spent a summer in Boston. I fully intended to do judo while I was there. It took me a week or two to get around to researching local judo clubs and figuring out which ones I could get to. There was one a 15 minute drive away, but I didn’t drive and I couldn’t always ask people to drive me, so I went once and decided I should look for other options. The other option was two hours of public transit into the city, and the public transit system was unfamiliar and scary and I was still regularly getting lost on it. So I kept meaning to go, but just for the first couple times I wanted someone to escort me and help me figure out the aversive public transit. The only person available to escort me was fairly averse about going to judo, so between their averse-to-judo “I’ll do it next week” and my averse-to-scary-new-dojo-that-wasn’t-like-my-old-dojo “I’ll do it next week”, I just kind of didn’t go. All summer.

Then I started at Cambridge, and for the first couple weeks while I settled in, I didn’t know where anything was or what I was supposed to be doing and I kept being distracted by freshers’ events, so I didn’t go. Then I got around to looking up when the judo sessions were, but I kept remembering about the sessions slightly too late - I’d suddenly remember at 19:30 that judo starts at 19:30, but then I’d realise that if I wanted to go then I’d need to shower and get my kit together and fill a water bottle and make it to the club, so I’d tell myself “next session”. After this happened a few times, I fixed this problem by putting a reminder in my calendar and keeping my judo kit ready by the door. So then I tried to go to judo, but couldn’t find the sports centre and got very lost and went home. I successfully went to judo once.

...and then it was time for winter break, so I left Cambridge again. And when I came back for the next term, the same pattern happened again.

In my first term at Cambridge I really struggled to meet my extraverty social needs, but then I realised the local EA society runs socials every Sunday, so I scheduled in “social” every single Sunday. This worked great for a term, and then I came back the next term and the same thing happened again - I was miserable for the first few weeks, then remembered to schedule in the EA socials, and went to a few, and then term ended. Things worked out for the final term of my first year, but when I came back for second year my routine was different, so I kept missing them again despite implementing a “schedule these things in advance for all the terms until you graduate” strategy.

It’s not just my room where I build up coping mechanisms. It’s my whole environment, my city, my routine. My room is my home base, where I build up gadgets and post-it notes and correctly-arranged furniture. My city is a larger-scale home base, where I can build up a social circle and a knowledge of public transit and a routine that fulfils my needs (attend this dojo on Tuesdays and Thursdays, go to this social thing on Sundays, walk in this park when you’re sad and need to calm down, visit this shop when you want to buy fudge).

Before I had a good model of how this worked, I massively underestimated the costs of travelling and moving and changing things.

When I did my first term in Cambridge, I knew that I was unutterably miserable because I wasn’t sure how to set up a new social network in a new place and I wasn’t getting my extravert needs met, so I just kind of blamed all of my dysfunction on my lack of extravert points. But I kept being dysfunctional even after I got enough social contact, and then I was very confused.

It wasn’t until several terms in that I noticed the pattern - I’d get to Cambridge and be completely dysfunctional. Then after two weeks or so, I’d have the bare minimum of stuff set up, and be capable of the real basics (feeding myself, getting to most appointments on time, having a sleep schedule that at least correlated with night/day). After roughly six weeks I’d be actually functional - writing essays, getting stuff done, going to the gym, having regular social commitments. And then the eight-week-long terms would end.

So many of my dysfunctions have incredibly simple workarounds. I forget things, so I put up a reminder post-it-note, and then I don’t forget them any more. I slightly rearrange my furniture, designate a box to put items-I-shouldn’t-forget in, schedule regular commitments, put my medications on my bedside table. I build up hundreds of these things. I suspect I had thousands as a seventeen-year-old, before I left my childhood home for university.

And then every time I move, I have to build them up from scratch again. So I go from being, at my best, a fairly impressive agent, to being a person who can barely manage to feed themselves. Because I’m in a new place and I don’t know where the food shops are, and I don’t have a post-it note on my fridge saying “remember to buy food”, and I struggle to leave the house because I can never find the keys that I need to get back into the building, and I keep meaning to figure out how the microwave in the kitchen works but I haven’t gotten around to it, and I forgot the alarms and reminders that help me keep my sleep schedule regular so I keep sleeping in so late the food shops are closed by the time I’m ready to leave the house, and at this point everything is subtly harder because I’m hungry...

I don’t think it’s important to have a single room be your home base. I functioned fairly well during my A-level studies, when I had two home bases - my form room (the classroom my form met in for registration) and my bedroom at home. I had a routine that told me when and how to move between the two. Probably lots of people have an office where they work and a home where they do other things,a and both are home bases in different ways - the office has the set up of monitors and mouses that perfectly supports their work style, the home has the post-its on the fridge saying to buy milk.

The important thing about the ‘home base’ is the routine, the collection of gadgets, the arrangement of objects in particular places, the reminders, the support systems, the social networks. It’s also knowledge - where stuff is, when regularly-scheduled events are, which shops to go to, how to use public transit in the area, what to avoid.

In general, since I realised the sheer vastness of the built-up collection of habits and reminders and arrangements and objects that makes me into a functional human, I’ve been consciously trying to build it up more deliberately and be more aware of it. For instance, I have a document now that lists everything I own under an ontology of where it belongs in my room and why, so when I unpack in a new place I automatically remember that pill organizer goes on the bedside table so that I remember it in the morning, lamp goes behind the desk so it doesn’t glare at my eyes, deodorant goes outside the bathroom so it’s convenient to grab after I shower, etc.

But I've also become much, much more certain that travelling or moving is really costly, and I should plan not to do it very often. It’s difficult to avoid as a student, who has to move in and out of Cambridge with the university terms, but I’ve been fairly drastic about restricting myself where I can - I skipped some fairly cool events in London this term because I thought it was much more important to stay here.

I know several people who travel a lot and have a policy of travelling light, with everything they care about fitting in a suitcase. I wonder if I’m missing a trick that would let me make my home-base portable. I also wonder if they’re missing a trick, if maybe they just don’t have a home base and they too would get a massive power boost from being in their home base if they had one.

(Next)

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koinekid · 7 years

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Kame Island Romance

The first chapter of a new K18 romance/humor anthology series by koinekid is available on FanFiction.Net

You can also read here on Tumblr by clicking the Keep reading link below.

I’m looking for feedback/suggestions for the next chapter. Details are at the end of the post.

Rights to Dragonball and related properties are held by their respective owners. No infringement is implied or intended.

Kame Island Romance

By koinekid

1. The Article

Part 1

The magazine was an impulse buy as Eighteen did the weekly grocery shopping—her preferred chore as a member of the Kame Household since it combined her favorite activity with the ability, when deviating from Oolong’s prepared shopping list, to decide what she and her roommates ate for dinner. The magazine’s glossy cover boasted an article on twenty-five activities for budget-minded couples.

She thumbed through the pages as the clerk rang up her purchases. A throat clearing reminded her the magazine needed to be scanned as well. The annoyance in the clerk’s face had Eighteen considering how easy it would have been to push the cart out of the store without paying and flip off anyone who tried to stop her. Old habits and all.

Instead, she angled the magazine so its UPC label was visible, forcing the clerk to resort to her handheld scanner: Male clerks usually did so without complaint, but the female ones gave her attitude.

The clerk announced the total, and Eighteen handed over Roshi’s credit card. She stuffed the receipt into one of the bags and reluctantly did the same with the magazine before retrieving a capsule from her pocket. A group of bag boys groaned their disappointment at not being permitted to help the beautiful blonde with her bags.

Eighteen rolled her eyes. Did they think she would fall madly in love with the one who pushed her cart for her?

She returned the full capsule to the pocket of her denim vest and snapped it shut before walking outside. At a suitable distance from the store—for some reason, her new friends insisted they all hide their powers from ordinary people—she took to the sky.

The old perv would give her an earful about charging the magazine to his credit card when she got home. “That card is to be used for essentials only,” he would exclaim, though the genuine source of his upset would be her continued refusal to pick up his pornography when she did her shopping.

Roshi’s yelling amused her. True, she could roast him alive at a whim, but they both knew she wouldn’t. And the fact that he was willing to yell meant he considered her part of the family. It was a welcome change from his and Oolong’s cowering after she first accepted Krillin’s invitation to move in.

Krillin. The mere thought of the little man made her smile. After less than a year on the island, she could no longer imagine life without him. He was the first of his friends to treat her as a person rather than a machine, and when she was with him, sometimes—just for an instant—she forgot she was a cyborg and felt almost normal.

He was a true friend, though lately, the feelings she harbored for him went beyond friendship. But had she arrived at those feelings too late? Long ago, she overheard Krillin’s friends tease him about having a crush on her. Embarrassed, she loudly proclaimed in front of everyone that his actions that day hadn’t won her heart. Perhaps time or her own big mouth had soured him on the prospect of a romance with her. She hoped not.

The island with its small pink house came into view, and she spotted Krillin out front, clearing the beach of debris washed up during a recent storm. He took aim at a nearby piece of driftwood, and she startled him by blasting it first.

Though taken aback, he grinned as she lighted beside him.

“Hey, Shorty.”

“Hi, Blondie.”

Krillin showed spirit today. Normally, he didn’t tease back.

“Are the others here?” she asked.

“Nope, just you and me. And Turtle, of course.”

The ancient sea turtle that frequented the island lay near the front door. She nodded to it absently. If the old man were gone, he wouldn’t know about the magazine. Good, one less headache. She turned back to Krillin. “Help me put away the groceries?”

“Okay.”

When he cleared a spot on the kitchen counter, Eighteen triggered the capsule’s release, causing the bags to appear. They worked slowly, chatting all the while. It would be more efficient to divide the dry goods from the refrigerated and work them separately, but Krillin’s way of choosing a bag at random and handing her an item at a time led to more interaction and more than a few “accidental” touches. She liked Krillin’s way.

Still, it would be best to unpack the bag containing the magazine herself. The last thing she needed was for him to discover it and start asking questions before she was ready. Now, which bag was it?

“Hey, you bought my favorite cereal.”

She shrugged. “It was your turn.”

“That’s what you said last time.”

“I won’t tell if you…” The bag with the cereal—that’s where she stashed the magazine. “Krillin, why don’t you let me—?”

“Twenty-five activities for budget-minded couples?” He raised his eyes from the glossy cover and looked at her curiously.

Eighteen could feel the blush rising in her cheeks as she snatched the magazine away. “I, uh—”

The front door opened with a bang, diverting Krillin’s attention. Into the house stumbled two stacks of magazines with legs—Roshi and Oolong laden down with armfuls of what Eighteen assumed to be the pornography they nagged her to buy. She used the distraction to slip from the room unnoticed while Krillin took pity and asked just what their roommates thought they were doing.

“Someone forgot to bring capsules,” Oolong growled.

Roshi’s protest—“We wouldn’t need to worry about capsules if Krillin’s girlfriend picked up the magazines for us”—was the last thing she heard before reaching the top of the stairs.

Krillin’s girlfriend, eh? If they called her that behind her back, there could be hope for a romance yet, and somewhere in this article just might be the key to igniting it. She tapped the magazine against her chin. Time to start reading.

<<>>

“Do you think Eighteen is seeing anyone? She has to be, right? Why else would she want to read about couples’ activities?”

Yamcha sighed. Every Wednesday that his baseball team wasn’t on the road, he and Krillin sparred on one of the islands near Kame House. Ordinarily, it was the highlight of Yamcha’s week, but today his friend couldn’t stop talking about that magazine.

“Maybe she bought it for a different article. Magazines generally print more than one an issue.”

“Then, why did she blush when I read the title of that article?”

“You got me there.” Yamcha readied an energy blast and sent it toward Krillin, who easily swatted it aside, much to the taller man’s annoyance. “Eighteen is a beautiful woman. Did you expect her to stay celibate forever?”

“No,” Krillin said, “but I figured she would move out before she started dating. Then I wouldn’t have to see her with another guy.”

“Do you want her to leave?”

“Of course not. The island is her home. I just…” Krillin kicked at the dirt. “How would you feel seeing someone else dating the woman you—oh, right. Sorry, bro. I didn’t think—”

“I’m way over that, Krillin.” That wasn’t strictly true, but Yamcha thought it best to limit their conversation to one lovesick martial artist at a time. It might be too late for him and Bulma, but Krillin still had a shot with Eighteen. I won’t let you go through the same thing I did, even if I have to knock some sense into you to stop it.

Yamcha surged forward and threw a barrage of punches that knocked the distracted Krillin onto his back, then held out a hand to pull him to his feet.

“She isn’t your girl, you know.”

Krillin sighed. “Yeah, guess I’m just dreaming, huh?”

“No, you aren’t. Eighteen isn’t with you because you haven’t made a move. So, what if she is dating another guy? I bet if you asked her out, she’d drop him in a heartbeat.”

Krillin brightened. “You think so?”

“Absolutely. After everything you’ve done for her—”

“She doesn’t owe me anything, Yamcha.”

“I know, I know. I just mean that she already knows you’re a great guy. Even if she doesn’t think of you romantically now, telling her how you feel will plant the seed. And—worst case scenario—if she doesn’t want to go out with you, at least she’ll keep the guys she dates away from the island. She’s your friend if nothing else and wouldn’t want to hurt you.”

“Shouldn’t she already know how I feel? She was at the Lookout when I told you guys I like her.”

“Eighteen isn’t exactly normal.”

Anger flashed in Krillin’s eyes, and Yamcha felt a flicker of fear. “T-take it easy. I’m not belittling her for being a cyborg. But you said she doesn’t remember anything from before Gero modified her, right?”

Krillin nodded. “Not much, anyway.”

“That means he wiped out whatever dating experience she had. Chances are, she doesn’t even know how to interpret the signals you’re sending her.”

“You think Eighteen can’t tell I’m interested.”

“Yeah, bro, you need to spell it out for her. If you treated most girls half as well as you do Eighteen, they’d know. But ten-to-one she’s oblivious. Plus, she’s pretty, and guys will fall all over themselves to help a pretty girl. Heck, I’m tempted to hold doors for her myself.”

“She’d break your hand if you tried.”

Yamcha grinned. “But not yours.”

A smile tugged at the corners of Krillin’s mouth. “No, not mine.”

“You’re in, man. Ask her out. Look, there’s this physical therapist I’ve been flirting with. We could double.”

Krillin looked as if he were about to panic.

Yamcha held up his hands. “Okay, okay. That’s too much. How about a group thing?”

“Maybe.” Krillin nodded again. “But Eighteen and I have gone to parties together. How’s this any different?”

“We’ll make it more intimate and invite only couples.”

“That…could work.”

“Good, let’s head back, and you can ask her now. What? It isn’t as if you’ll give me a decent workout until you get this sorted anyway.”

<<>>

After escaping the kitchen, Eighteen locked herself in her room and worked through the article with a red marker, pausing only to watch from her window as Yamcha arrived to pick up Krillin for their weekly training session. Why didn’t Krillin spar with her? She’d certainly make a better partner than some weakling who gave up martial arts to play games for a living. Probably because you never asked, came her mind’s response. True, she conceded.

A box fan propped in her window circulated a cool breeze through the room. It was no hotter than usual indoors, but the noise drowned out the sound of her roommates stomping around on the first floor. Eighteen sat at her desk and twirled the marker between her fingers as she read:

Shared interests lead to couples spending more time together and engaging in livelier conversations. And the best part is that it doesn’t take a boatload of zenni for you and your sweetheart to have a good time. Here are 25 activities that won’t break the bank!

That sounded good to her. She could barely scrape together a pocket full of zenni, much less a boatload. Unless she absconded with the old man’s credit card or returned to a life of crime, whatever activity she chose would need to be cheap. Or better yet, free.

The article’s first suggestion—gardening—was out. They lived on a tropical island with limited real estate, so unless they wanted to plant another palm tree…

Her marker swept down and crossed out the illustrated flower next to the suggestion.

Join a local sports team. Interacting with new people…no. The point was to grow closer to Krillin, not make nice with strangers. She crossed through that one as well.

Photography…much too expensive unless she shoplifted a camera. But the thought of Krillin’s disappointment squelched the idea. She desired his respect as much as his affection, and though she might joke about it, she had changed. Whatever drove her and her brother to terrorize society in the past was no longer a part of her. She started to mark another X but paused.

Pictures of Krillin’s friends decorated the walls of his room. Eighteen even allowed him to add a few snapshots of her to his collection, pretending to be annoyed as he took them. A few more on display—ones where she actually smiled—would be gratifying. Krillin borrowed the camera he used to take those photos. They could always ask to borrow it again. She circled the suggestion and drew a question mark next to it.

Walk or hike. Again, limited real estate. Though she had spied a few decent parks while flying over nearby islands.

Stargazing. Lying on the roof and watching the stars—that could work. It would be a good time to talk, and if she worked up the courage, to lay her head on his chest and listen to his heartbeat, wait for it to steady, and then raise her mouth for a kiss. Was it getting hot in here?

PJ Day. Spend the entire day in your pajamas. Eighteen twisted her face. How was that an activity?

Camping. A sleeping bag for two. Hmm…

Have sex! Her cheeks burned. Did they need to be so blunt? Well, eventually, if it worked out between them, she’d love to. A memory surfaced of the last time she saw Krillin shirtless in the surf. Definitely love to. She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and turned the fan to high. It was getting hot.

With her marker poised to strike, she read the next suggestion. Her hand stayed put. That…actually sounded perfect. If Krillin went for it.

Through the window she saw him and Yamcha approaching over the horizon. Closing the magazine and capping the marker, she shut them in her desk drawer and hurried downstairs. Best ask now before she lost her nerve.

Arms crossed over her chest, she watched Krillin land, her instinct to blurt out what she had in mind undermined by the other man’s presence. Krillin stammered out a greeting. For some reason, he seemed as nervous as she. Was she putting out a bad vibe?

No matter; it was now or never. “I want—”

“Eighteen—”

They shared a smile over interrupting one another.

“You first,” he said.

“I want to ask you something.”

“A-all right.”

She cut her eyes at Yamcha, her stare menacing.

He rubbed the back of his head and laughed nervously. “Guess I’ll let the two of you talk.” To Krillin, he said, “Does Friday night work for you?”

“I’ll call when I know for certain.”

“Friday?” Eighteen questioned once Yamcha flew away. That was the day she intended to ask Krillin out. “What’s Friday?”

Krillin took a deep breath. “That’s what I wanted to ask you about. But you were—”

“No, go ahead.”

“Thanks. Um, Yamcha and I are planning to host a game night—cards, board games, that sort of thing—and invite a few people over. Our group used to hold them years ago but sort of fell out of the habit.”

“You want to hold it here—on Friday?” Great, there went her plans. Though it wasn’t Krillin’s intent, she couldn’t help feeling rejected. It was a new feeling, and she didn’t like it. “I guess I can find somewhere to spend the evening.”

“No!” he shouted, then added more quietly, “No, we—I want you to—if you don’t mind—to take part. Be my partner, actually. We usually play teams, and well…”

“Partner, huh?” Was Krillin asking her on a date? It wasn’t exactly dinner and a movie, or even the activity she planned. But a low-key evening with a group they already knew could help ease them into a dating relationship. She rubbed her chin thoughtfully.

“Of course, if you’re not interested or if you already have plans—” Krillin’s brows furrowed.

“Yes.”

“Yes, you have plans?”

“Yes, I’ll be your partner.” She fought and failed to keep the silly grin off her face. “Who knows? It could be fun.”

Krillin looked relieved, though he averted his gaze and blushed when their eyes met. Had asking her out been that intimidating?

“Oh,” he said suddenly. “You wanted to ask me something.”

“It can wait.” Eighteen beckoned him to accompany her into the house, bumping his shoulder playfully as he came alongside her. “So, partner, what games are we playing?”

In response, Krillin only smiled.

TBC

Thanks for reading; reviews, likes, and reblogs are appreciated.

I’m also looking for feedback on what games should be played at Game Night. I’m especially interested in games that cause frustration and annoyance for the players. For example: Apples to Apples, a game which caused me no end of vexation and led me to question whether my girlfriend secretly hated me whenever she suggested we play.

I planned to make this story a one-shot but decided to split the story as I’ll likely be off the radar for the next few weeks studying for a certification exam I’ve scheduled for the end of the month.

Thanks to @chestnutisland and @deadlybeautydbz for keeping the flames of this fandom alive.

Note: Suggestions for activities in this chapter were taken from this blog post.

#krillin #android 18 #k18 #lazuli #dragonball #dragonball z #dragonball super #dragon ball #dragon ball z #dragon ball super #fanfic #fanfiction #koinekid #@koinekid #kame island #kame house #yamcha

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peacekaleandyoga1 · 5 years

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There are many things available on the weight loss. These products can be helpful, and you should be sure you know what you’re doing by using the tips like what you’re reading here.

A great tip to lose weight is to perform cardio exercises in early in the morning prior to eating your breakfast. Research has shown that cardio done in this method burns 300 percent more than if you did cardio at some other time of day.

Don’t bother with weight loss shakes or protein bars when planning your diet menu. These things are surprisingly calorie-dense and do not fill you like real food. They leave you hungry and hunger shortly after you eat your meal. Also, these things have a lot sugar, which will spike your blood sugar and make you even more unhappy.

TIP! Stay active to lose weight. Bike rides and walking can burn more calories than sitting and watching TV.

You can workout while you are chatting on the phone.Move around when you’re on the phone vs sitting down and talk instead of sitting.You don’t have to engage in place.

Skipping Meals

Skipping meals in order to lose a few pounds. Skipping meals can be unhealthy and counterproductive to your weight loss efforts substantially.

TIP! A simple way to lose weight is by eating a salad before every dinner. Salad has a ton of fiber which makes you feel full.

Eat your largest meal in the middle of the evening. If you eat sandwiches for lunch, try it for dinner instead.

This process will help you stay motivated to continue reaching your weight loss goals.

Just because you are trying to lose weight does not mean that you can’t eat out sometimes. Just keep in mind that the plates and meals at restaurants are very large. You can have the waiter bring you a container and place half of the remaining half. This allows you to reduce your calorie intake and also provides you with a meal for the following day.

TIP! When you feel hungry, consider drinking a small portion of a protein shake. When you mix a small bit of protein powder together with ice then drinking it when you begin to feel hungry, then your diet won’t be compromised and neither will your self-confidence.

Do not ignore your food cravings.Foods such as chips and ice cream are delicious.Cravings for these kinds of unhealthy foods can be extreme while you diet. Try not to cave, but do not ignore them either. Try eating a lower-calorie alternative instead to satisfy your cravings.

3500 Calories

You can break down your weight loss easily by numbers. A pound consisting of human fat is about 3500 calories. Therefore, to lose just one pound it is necessary to burn 3, it is necessary to burn 3500 calories over the amount eaten. This will make it so that you stay on pace to lose a pound weekly.

TIP! A good tip to help you lose weight is stay busy so that you won’t have much time to think about food. When we sit idly, our minds often wander to foods, which we then crave because we have nothing better to do.

Some diets require you to eliminate all carbohydrates. This may not a good idea coming from the optimal idea. Everyone needs healthy carbohydrates in order for their bodies to function properly.

This is great for your health and your weight. Try running carefully up the stairs when you get used to walking.

Whole wheat pasta is worthy of a great alternative.It can be tempting to cut out all carbs when trying to shed pounds. Try using these whole wheat. Whole wheat noodles are better choice. They are also much more than most things in the long run.

TIP! Reduce your caloric intake to lose weight. This technique will help you to shed some pounds.

If you are experiencing success with your diet program, it is okay to reward yourself every now and then with a slice of cake or even with a small glass of wine. This will not sabotage your diet. It simply means you know you’re doing a good job well done. Of course this does not mean that you should give yourself a reward with each meal, don’t overdo it in the rewards department.

Decaf is a nice treat. Decaf coffee also has antioxidants that the body requires for working efficiently.

Weight Loss

TIP! Eat a variety of foods. If you consistently eat the same boring foods, you will grow tired of your plan and will revert back to the unhealthy, familiar foods that you ate before.

This will help you to take note of your weight loss mission. Keep a notebook so you can track progress. People that follow this have a much better chance of real weight loss.

Eat oatmeal for breakfast.Oatmeal has many benefits for dieters because it is a meal that satisfies hunger long than most foods, some protein and is very filling. You are going to feel full afterward.

You should clean your closet cleanup if you are going to lose some weight. Get rid of your larger clothes.

TIP! Stop drinking alcoholic beverages if you want to lose weight. There are a surprising amount of empty calories in alcoholic drinks, so switch to an alcohol-free diet drink with zero calories.

Weight Loss

Share your decision to lose weight loss plans and decisions with everyone you can. You could do a blog about your weight loss journey. This will help you stay on track because you will not want anyone to feel let down.

Try to surround yourself in surroundings that are blue. Blue has been shown to suppress your appetite. Try having blue place mats or plates at your dinner table and see if this has an effect. Stay away from red, yellow, yellows and oranges, because they encourage hunger. Visual stimulation can affect our eating habits more of an effect on how we eat than many people realize. Try to remember this when going about your dinner table or getting dressed to go out for dinner.

TIP! Keep a journal of everything that you consume. Write down everything you eat, what time you eat and how you feel when you eat.

A good tip while dieting is to serve your food on a smaller plates. People are used to seeing a meal take up their plate. If you reduce the size of plate, you will be able to trick yourself and you will therefore eat less.

Try to drink lots of water and weightlifting.

Your pets can be great at helping you stay motivated during workouts.Pets are an excellent tool to use. Walking or running with your cat are great ways to have fun while losing weight in the process.

TIP! If you are having a hard time with weight loss programs that are traditional, consider alternatives like “Alli”. Some products work by preventing the body from absorbing a decent amount of fat.

Find a mentor that you trust and can depend on.

Weight Loss

Finding and losing weight with a weight loss buddy or partner to share the challenge can be a very effective strategy. It can be helpful to have another person around to help adjust strategies for your weight loss if goals are unmet.

TIP! Drink decaf coffee in the morning rather than your regular cup. This type of coffee can aid weight loss.

Try getting rid of milk from your weight. Some people are unaware that they have a slight milk allergies or that they may be lactose intolerance. This can make people gain weight and become bloated without realizing what caused it.

The right products can give you just the boost you need to attain your goals. They compound on a nutritional diet and exercise to increase your weight loss.

If you enjoyed this post, you should read this: Finding A New You: Weight Loss Tips And Tricks

from https://ift.tt/2VVCPJY

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bub-the-voidling · 5 years

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Custom Card Competition wk 16: Colored Equipment

(This is a post about a private Card Brewing competition. Entries were not open to the public)

Welcome one, welcome all to this new week of Custom Card Challenge! This week our prompt was to make a colorful armory~~

“This week we shall be doing equipment! But not just any equipment, colored equipment~~ Some examples of this is [Godsend], [Mage Slayer], and even [Unscythe, Killer of Kings] if you want to go crazy on us 😉”

Also, I was promised a 5C sword, so you better give it to me or heads will roll >:c

Starting off the week we have...

[Gonti]. It’s Gonti again. I can’t say it’s not interesting with the menace and with combat [synergies], but it’s Gonti again. Yes, we all love Gonti and the effect is fun, but it’s [Gonti] again x3

Anyway, the effect is [Thief of Sanity]/[Nightveil Specter] for any creature. Closer to Nightveil but with the mana fixing but minus playing lands. Which means sometimes this thing doesn’t really do a lot, or anything if you’re unlucky. I would’ve preferred that it was either Thief of Sanity or that it’d allow you to play lands, but some people don’t think playing lands are fun smh.

8/10, Just a good on flavor black equipment. Not much to say. [Gontiiiiiiiii]

So, this is a legendary version of [Scythe of the Wretched], it’s even a Scythe! :D But, what does this do differently from it? Well for one it actually has deathtouch and doesn’t force you to reequip it on someone you might not want it on.

So, what makes this the Sultai weapon of choice? The green would be for reach and black would be for deathtouch and maybe the resurrection. But what is blue in this card? Sadly, that’s the miss in this card, the challenge was to make colored equipment so you want to capture the color identity in the weapon.

I would suggest swapping out the U for its other control friend, W. With white you could argue that both the caring about legendaries (aristocratic fuqs >:c) and the resurrection part are on flavor for the color. And if you’d want to make this equipment really bonkers, you’d make it give vigilance as well. Then you probably have to make the equipment cost higher, since we probably all agree that only having mana symbols in the casting cost is beautiful.

7/10 Good first entry friendo ^^ And thanks for the new artist to follow :P

Next up we have a new little blade from Kamigawa, a blade that takes after the [Myojin of Night's Reach] itself!

Just like a blade from the legendary spirit should, it makes people discard, and discard haaaaard. A [Wit’s End] on a stick! How is that balanced when Wit’s End costs 7 to cast? A handful of reasons actually, one is that this costs a total of 8 mana, 6 of which must be black. The cost is separated into two bits, so you can pay half of it at one point and the other at another, that’s the strange thing with equipment. It costs more but they’re still cheaper since you can curve. Oh yeah and the second reason why this is balanced, it has to smack someone in the face.

With the deathtouch on the blade it makes it a bit more tempting to let it through. But people will just [chump block] at this point, unless they have so few cards in hand that they don’t care about discarding. Same problem Wit’s End faces actually.

So, it’s clearly not busted even though its ability appears so ridiculously strong, that’s amazing design right there. Sadly, I can’t really judge it on the lore all too much, I know this was made because the creator loves the Kamigawa lore but I simply haven’t read it. Sorry.

Oh yeah, pet peeve, this equipment doesn’t give stats, but maybe that’s for the best as it gives deathtouch and you want it for the effect. So… ignore my pet peeve?

Funnily this was the only card with color requirement to equip. Also the reason how this can be balanced :P

9/10, You could technically nut this at T4 with unblockable. Can you figure it out?

Next to the chopping block~~

Cardsmith? DISQUALIFIED! THOSE CARDS LOOK BAD D:< Rawr, rawr, rawr! Rabble, rabble! >:c

Cough. But if we would look past the exterior and try to see the card on the inside… Not that we would. Maybe it is, kind of nice? Let’s see here, creating things when hurt… Yes, that’s definitely a green thing with cards like [BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE] nest. Little things that deal damage, yes that’s red. Vigilance? That has to be wh- No wait, that’s a green’s secondary, and it synergizes with the rest of the weapon.

Okay, we have an interesting unique card that’s not busted with a good cost and fits its colors… Maybe the infinite is overpowered? >:D

The most efficient so you need the least amount of cards. [Darksteel Myr] + [Goblin Bombarment] + Well… this card… That’s a total of 9 mana plus 2 for equipping and you need to hurt the Darksteel the first time somehow as well. Okay, honestly that doesn’t sound anywhere near as effective/degenerate as [Storm] or [Hollowed One]. I encourage you all to click those links.

So… The card isn’t broken and the one way you would break it has [counter] [play] and is really slow.

What?! I can’t just judge the card on how the text formating looks?! The Cardsmith card isn’t just good, it’s great! How could this be?!

The only thing I can criticize is that the rose is a 0/2 instead of 0/1. I don’t think the rose should ever survive being [pinged] without buffs. The legendary clause makes it so you (sadly) can’t stack its effect, otherwise you’d have literally infinite chump blockers as with two blades one block creates two Roses. The equipping to Roses and always having a blocker might be enough reason to increase the equipment cost, but equipping costs 2 mana and is sorcery speed luckily, so the enemy can just play around it by having more creatures or killing the token before it equips. Unless they have no interaction, in which case you kind of deserve being blocked by a single Sword wielding Rose forever.

Also… Since the Rose token DOESN’T have defender…

<u<

I had to commission [Azura] to draw this. Too worth it.

There’s nothing I can give this card but the big W in for this challenge. Congratulations :D

10/10, Rose with a sword.

(I noticed that it didn’t say creature token, check for such things next time.)

Congratulations to The Wandering Nightstalker for bringing us a Rose wielding a sword! (That phrase made me and Azura laugh so much)

But before I thank you all for entering and wishing you good luck we have three Ineligible entries to judge and stare angrily at. So let’s greet these three lovely cards. Always fun to see the person who made the prompt join ^^

Starting off, the Vampires are starting a cult! Again!

Hey, DrKungFu. Tell your friend to just join the damn discord. This is 10/10 (9.5 rounded up to 10. Maybe I should start showing the half points as not rounded up…)

Yes, it’s a bit too strong, but it’s on flavor, on color, and just a damn fun card.

Also, flavor text. I love flavor text

Weak actual equipment with a reward if you complete its objective. Just how it should be when making these sort of flip cards. Maybe the objective should be slightly harder or the casting slightly higher (I’d say no because 2 symbols are beautiful), but hot damn this is a good card.

10/10, I want the against the odds where you have smol dudes to sac and big creatures to reanimate.

We will never ever beat this card.

Only complaint is that the stick is hard to see, if that even is a complaint.

20/16, trample at least. Better than 30 Emrakuls.

(I forgot that this last card was an IE, so they got a full on write up. Incase you wonder why this will be long.)

Oh my lordie, this was the first submission of this week and my first thought was “This will be a good week.” Needless to say, I was right. Flash with instant equip? Fuck yeah that’s some unique and interesting design, just what I wanted. I mean once I did some more research, I found out that [Grifter’s Blade] exists. But did anyone of you honestly know that it existed?

So, we know that I like the first two lines here and they’re really fitting for the colors you chose. Yeah, I know white isn’t supposed to be known for flash, but we’re all from a D&T lover’s discord. White flashing is nice. So, what do I think about the actual effects of the equipment? First strike and tapping a dude is nice and once again spot on for the color pairing you have. But indestructible? This makes the card a better version of [Indestructibility]. That saddens me as power creep isn’t really my forte. I really wish you chose something like Vigilance instead, that would even go nicely with the tap ability and annoy non-UW players in limited, and isn’t that what magic is all about?

Oh yeah, pet peeve, this equipment doesn’t give stats, but maybe that’s for the best as it has flash and first strike. So… ignore my pet peeve?

8/10, close, but indestructible cigar.

Thank you all for competing ^^ Hope you’ll have a wonderful week. Before I will take my leave, we shall travel to Sparta for our next prompt!

”Madness! Make an interesting madness card!”

A simple little prompt that reminds at least me about Kate’s first prompt :P Some examples of madess cards are [Basking Rootvalla], [Ichor Slick], [Welcome to the Fold] :^), and [Basking Rootvalla]. Oh and I’d count [Falkenrath Gorger] if you’re curious.

Also, no 5 color weapon :( [Hopefully this will do] <3

[Basking Rootvalla]

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digitalmark18-blog · 6 years

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How to increase organic search to your online shop

New Post has been published on https://britishdigitalmarketingnews.com/how-to-increase-organic-search-to-your-online-shop/

How to increase organic search to your online shop

Online shopping makes it simple for anyone to purchase a product from anywhere with the click of a button. However, because there is so much for sale online it can be difficult to drive organic traffic to your shop. In this article, we will share some tips on how to increase organic search through ecommerce SEO.

What is ecommerce SEO?

Ecommerce Search Engine Optimisation (SEO) is the practice of optimising ecommerce websites to make them rank higher in search engine results – increasing the number of visitors via organic traffic (when a user clicks on a naturally occurring link in the search, rather than an ad or paid search link).

It can be difficult to attract online traffic if your site is on the second or third page of the search engine results page (SERP). According to research by Chitika, page one of Google gets 92% of all search traffic.

If you are struggling to rank highly for generic keywords, you can focus on lower search volume and long tail keywords. This can be done by conducting keyword research and identifying phrases with fewer search volumes and competition, making it easier for your website to rank higher for those terms.

What is the best ecommerce platform for SEO?

While all ecommerce platforms are designed to sell your products they all possess different strengths and weaknesses. The strength of an e-commerce platform depends on many factors including;

Independent Page Titles

Independent Navigation Links

Independent Page URLs

Independent Meta Descriptions

Independent Image ALT Tags

Independent H1 Headings

Canonical URLs

Integrated Blogging Platform

Social Sharing buttons

Auto XML Sitemap

Use of own Domain Name

Your Own IP address

301 redirects

Robots Noindex Capabilities

According to Ecommerce Platforms, these factors each hold weight in your ability to modify site content to allow for SEO. Considering the previous factors, the following sites are the most SEO-friendly ecommerce platforms:

Magento

WooCommerce

Shopify

BigCommerce

Squarespace

It is worth the time to choose an e-commerce platform that allows a multitude of features such as an easy-to-use checkout and reporting tools – which can support your business as it grows. While it is tempting to pick the cheapest and easiest solution, it’s important to take some time and research the best solution before investing your time and money.

If you already have an e-commerce shop, here is a checklist to determine the current technical SEO of your site.

Technical SEO checklist for online shops

Technical SEO is a very important part of your ecommerce SEO strategy. It’s a best practice to regularly perform an in-depth technical SEO audit on your website to make sure that search engines can crawl and index your pages without a hitch.

You need to make sure your website can be crawlable, indexable and performing well without any errors. A website with broken and/or out of date links not only looks bad to search engines, but it also harms your user experience.

Make sure your online shop is user-friendly on mobile devices

With increasing mobile usage, online shops must be user-friendly on all mobile devices. Last year, over half of UK shoppers that are purchasing online are shopping via mobile.

Ensure your online shop is reachable via voice search

As applications such as Siri and Cortana are becoming more prevalent, voice searches are over-taking typing. Voice searches are much easier and faster than traditional typing.

Invest in user-generated content

Creating a community that consumers can actively participate in will help promote your brand (such as a social media page).

Create live chatbots

Chatbots will help improve customer experience. By introducing live chatbots, consumers will have constant virtual assistant and customer service.

Analyse speed of website

Fast-loading websites are crucial for online shops since many users will exit a site immediately due to its slow speed. From July 2018, websites that load quickly will show up higher on mobile search.

Have high-quality content

Online stores must be informative and distinctive in order to grab the attention of the consumer and stand out from competitors.

Review your content so that it is clear and concise

Online stores should be grammatically correct and easy to navigate for the consumer.

Fix all your technical issues

Your store must be free from errors such as duplicated content, toxic backlinks, broken links, missing meta data, orphan pages and cannibalisation errors.

On-site optimisation online shops

Simple changes to your site content and wording can lead to big changes.

Keyword Research

Start with some keyword research, an easy way to do this is to list out all the pages on your site. Then, map out keywords that lead to each page. Optimise the most important pages first, which you can determine by page traffic. This information can be extracted from your Google Analytics accounts.

When optimising a page start with a main keyword. This is the primary word you want to optimise the page for. Then, move to long-tailed variations of the keyword.

Sometimes using the keywords, you already rank the highest for can be an efficient way to find a head keyword. Using this head keyword, search for long-tailed variations and semantically related words.

It is important when conducting keyword research that you select the right country to target, as the results may differ which could affect your ability to reach the right audience.

Optimising Meta Titles, Tags and H1’s

Next, take your research and apply it to your on-page SEO. This means optimising your Heading tags (especially H1, H2 and H3).

You should include well-optimised tags for your most important pages and leave the rest to atomisation. However, if your site doesn’t list hundreds of products, it might be worth your time to optimise each tag.

You can also try A/B testing your tags to see which gains a higher click through rate (CTR).

Choose Unique Product Categories and Descriptions

Having a defined product category and well-written description is helpful for Google and the consumer. When writing descriptions include the main keyword and long tail keywords. Include useful product information, but not too much.

The description should still be short and easy to read. Consider using bullet points to make your description easier to scan through.

Optimise your URLs

You want URLs to your site to be clean and easy to read. Keep the structure basic. See the photo below for a dissected URL that is SEO friendly. Via MOZ.

In addition to the strategies listed above, there are tonnes of ways to optimise your e-commerce store. From minor changes to large overhauls, SEO optimisation can make a huge difference in organic traffic.

Have you found success in SEO for e-commerce? Got questions? Let us know!

Source: https://www.minttwist.com/2018/07/27/how-to-increase-organic-search-to-your-online-shop/

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eurolinguiste · 7 years

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The following post is a guest post from fellow language learner and musician Fiel Sahir. He came to me with this excellent idea on how to apply music study techniques to language learning and I just love what he came up with.

So take it away, Fiel!

This is it.

Lots of crazy things going on in the world, so it’s time to bring in some positive energy. Let’s make 2017 something worth looking back on.

Losing weight is good, hiking up Everest is always prospect, as is finally getting to those cooking classes. There are always more ideas floating around than we realistically have time for. It’s hard to know what to choose.

Already, it’s February. There’s a pretty good chance that so far, you’re not quite where you want to be with your goals for the new year. Kinda frustrating, isn’t it?

Maybe trying to tackle Mandarin from scratch was too difficult, and now it’s crunch time at work. All those characters! UGH! If only the boss was more lenient so that you’d have a bit more free time. Or maybe you were still just wishing you had a better plan or strategy.

As humans we often tend to think too big. We love to dream about end results as if they were as easy as picking an apple off a tree. It’s easy to forget that there’s work that needs to go on behind the scenes to make those end results a reality.

I’m not saying goals and resolutions are bad. Not at all. It’s a sign that you are a responsible individual and that you want to take charge of your life! The world needs people like you.

The problem is that these goals are often too big.

As the days roll by, life happens. You’ve find your progress up that mountain has halted and you’re frustrated about why you aren’t at the peak yet. You start to wonder if you’ll ever arrive.

Wouldn’t it be great if there was an easy way to learn languages?

What makes ordinary people do great things is not because they themselves were great. Rather, it’s all about how normal people tackle great adversity.

If you’re short on time, and want to get to the specifics there’s a detailed video explaining how things work in this post.

What in the world is chunking?

I’ll let you in on a secret: Just doing something repetitively won’t solve your problems.

Instead, you need to be more mindful of how you spend your study time and develop a series of tactics that work for you. Chunking is a technique that musicians use and I’ve also found it useful in language learning and it may be the right choice for you.

For those of you unfamiliar with chunking, it is the practice of breaking things down into bitesize pieces. Whether you like it or not, your brain can only process a limited amount of information. You cannot absorb everything at once. But if you give it breathing room, the brain can absorb more effectively.

Let’s say you want to go to the US for college. It’s tempting to throw up your hands in desperation exclaiming, “OH MY GOD. I HAVE TO LEARN ENGLISH!!” While that may be your current mountain, take a breath. Do what Benny Lewis the Irish Polyglot does instead:

“Today I need to learn how to introduce myself. Tomorrow I’d like to order a coffee. Hmm… maybe I’d like to talk with a waitress at a café today.”

See how much less pressure that carries? You can even go further still!

You might find something similar to the following dialogue in your course book: Jack: Hey! My name’s Jack. Where are you from? Ann: Oh, hi! I’m Ann. Nice to meet you! I’m from Seattle. Jack: Nice… I’m from Nebraska. It’s a pretty cold place. I hear Seattle gets TONS of rain!

Let’s say this is your first ever English dialogue. What the heck is Nebraska? After looking it up, you breathe a sigh of relief. It’s just a place name.

You naturally read it over and over again from beginning to end and soon find the rhythm in your voice. After having done that multiple times, you realize it’s not sinking in as well as you hoped. You look at it and shake your head thinking, “How can I learn this in the most efficient way possible?”

Spending a lot of time on something doesn’t necessarily mean you’ll get anything done…. Click To Tweet

Simple Repetition isn’t the Answer

“Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” – Unknown but falsely attributed to Einstein

I recently sat down with a polyglot friend over Skype who wanted some guitar advice before he recorded a video for YouTube.

One of his enduring questions was, “Do you ever get stuck in a song and then have to play from the beginning all over again? I never seem able to just pick up where I messed up!“

I then asked him how he was practicing, and therein lay the answer.

For anyone who’s studied music (particularly classical), this is a problematic reality. Many people look at sheet music and “practice” by playing from beginning to end.

While a Freshman at the New England Conservatory, that was my routine. I thought, as long as I spent two hours on this piece everyday, it would get better. Two hours of putting something on repeat and stopping to fix mistakes only once as you plow through doesn’t do much. Why? Because you’ll only make them again. You’re not giving your brain enough time to process and reprogram what you’ve learned.

Just as you can learn to play the right notes, you can also program yourself to play mistakes. And…

Mistakes don’t fix themselves. If they do, it’s never at the speed you need or want. This problem plagues everyone from the amateur to the seasoned professional. Music is enjoyable and it’s easy to get lost in it.

“Playing is simply intoxicating!” – Adam Holzman, Classical Guitarist and Pedagogue

One of the problems many musicians face is relying too much on muscle memory. On the other hand, language learners focus too much on the script in front of them. After spending a good amount of time with the music or text you begin to feel pretty great.

The reason is, no one is there to judge but ourselves.

Then comes the moment when you have to practice in front of our language partner or tutor. Half a sentence leaves our lips, and then our nerves kick in and you forget the rest. This happens multiple times within one session. It’s pretty embarrassing!

Everyone has problems and challenges. Nothing new. How you address them, especially through chunking will change everything.

Building better “practice” habits.

“Practice doesn’t make perfect. Perfect practice makes perfect.” – Doug Yeo former BSO Bass Trombonist

Being a Classical Guitarist by trade, these are techniques I’ve learned over the years that push me in the right direction. I’m in the business of having to learn music for concerts and competitions. Without these ideas, I’d end up just playing my pieces over and over again.

What I’m about to describe is invaluable information. It’s the behind-the-scenes work of professional musicians and actors. It’s how they perfect their craft. I’m sure Shannon can attest to having used these techniques herself.

1. Take it slow, phrase by phrase.

Ignore the temptation is to take it in all at once. Don’t forget the brain can only process a certain amount of information.

As you look at a dialogue, feel the words in your mouth, and the weird shapes and sounds of this new language. Give your body time to adjust. It’s like stretching into a new yoga pose.

Maybe your accent is really bothering you and you’re not sure how to fix it. There is hope!

I highly recommend Idahosa Ness’ MimicMethod or Gabriel Wyner’s Pronunciation-Trainers. What makes them work is the musical philosophy behind their methods.

“If you can’t hear it you can’t imitate (pronounce) it.”

2. Prioritize.

Scratch out words you do know and circle ones you don’t.

Take charge by deciding what is priority and work with that. Knowing how to say “Nice to meet you” is much more important than knowing what Nebraska is.

Sorry Nebraskans…

3. Drill it again and again.

Although it may sound like it, I’m not saying you shouldn’t do repetitions.

What makes musicians learn music quickly is by changing how you repeat! Artists make it fun and useful. Keeping it varied also helps avoid burn-out.

Try the following options:

Read a phrase syllable by syllable.

Again, but this time In different rhythms or speeds.

Use what opera singers and actors call “back-chaining.” Back-chaining is the practice of going backwards and building up a word one syllable at a time. (More on this in the video.)

4. Record yourself at normal speed to listen to and identify problems.

After practicing something for awhile it’s easy to feel proud of yourself. Sometimes you might even feel as though you can take on the world.

The fix for that is recording yourself. Why?

Once you hit the record button, something clicks. You’ll be making mistakes you’ve never made before and it’ll show you what to improve. Being under stress no matter how small, produces changes in performance.

Speaking of which, Lindsay Does Languages is doing what’s called the Instagram Language Challenge (#IGLC). I can tell you from personal experience that it’s nerve wracking. So why do I still do it? Because afterwards, I can evaluate my mistakes and fix them! The other participants are also quite helpful in correcting any mistakes. And best of all, it’s FREE.

5. Practice again with these new ideas

Review the various points as well as the video. As you wrestle with the ideas I’ve shared with you, adjust them to how you learn best. Our goal is to turn you into a highly effective independent learner.

6. Go public!

Assuming you haven’t already done this step, going public sets you up for accountability. When people are watching what you’re doing, you’re less likely to slack off.

One last idea. Never be afraid to keep asking for a second opinion. When you let others check your progress, you’ll find that their insight is priceless.

Now, enough theory. Go practice!

There’s a lot of information here in this post, so feel free to come back to it whenever you’re feeling stuck.

For now, get out there and apply what you’ve learnt today. Whether it be language learning, cooking, music practice, it’s time to do things better.

Here’s to a productive 2017!

Want more tips on language learning from a musical perspective? Be sure to check out Fiel’s presentation at the Polyglot Gathering in 2016.

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The post How to use Chunking to Fire up your Language Learning appeared first on Eurolinguiste.

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