doip. / 6.9.23: Attack of the Boar
WAHOO. WAHOO. WAHOO. WAHOO oh hey its 6/9 . nice
oh also jason is here! yay jason! jorb has invited him to the campaign so he's spectating us getting our ass kicked probably considering he got invited Yesterday. excited to see where this goes
LAST TIME, ON DRAGON OF ICESPIRE PEAK: Out heroes were taskedb y Falcon the Hn=unter to clean out the Woodland Manse of the . talos. granok is doing dark rituals for a isnister god. Granoth was defeated, not before he was able to send a message, proclaiming to the group that Gorthok would come. After returning to Falcon's hunting lodge, our heroes celebrated their vicftory, and took a well-deserved night's sleep. But that sense of victory wouldnt last as Gorthok the Thunderboar tore down the very walls o the lodge! Will our heroes be able to defeart gforthok and save their bac on . find out. today [blows up]
im telekinetically flinging targor around. yeet
TIME FOR INITIATIVE. WAHOE
targor has an initiative of pie (3.14)
oh thank god, gorthok is Slow (also rolled a 3)
LITTLE GUY IS A DIRE BADGER NOW we never did name nameless.
nyx: oh, i can burrow, that's interesting
leo: you will be the lone survivor on account of digging in the earth for tubers
jorb: [struggling to move a guy]
nyx: i like how he's teleporting around.
leo: he's very indecisive about where he wants to teleport to
we have immediately thrown targor to the wolves boars
EVERYBODY IS CHARGING AT ME AND FAILING TO HIT LOL oh no nevermind one rolled a nat20 while i was typing that
oh dear targor is at half health already. on the opening salvo. eep
LOL . THEYRE NOW THROWING JAVELINS AT ALIDAAR oh thats a 23 to hit, huh
alidaar's hp is bugged uh oh. i wish it worked in my favour (i fixed it)
OPENING SALVO: ALIDAAR BLASTS LIKE 10 GUYS WITH A BREATH WEAPON. GET FUCKED LOL
alidaar singlehandedly takes out like 8 guys in one go between his silver breath weapon and two-weapon fighting. get fucked lol
kepesk enters a rage and takes out the guy alidaar missed! also i think i forgot to write it last time but whenever he rages he's got this like, sick-ass mask made of storm clouds and lightning
nyx: you're learning! you're becoming sentient!
jorb & leo: YOU'RE SO SENTIENT TODAY
god these guys have like. no middle ground between "complete whiff" and "wrecking our shit" as far as attack rolls go. speaking of i have been javelin'd
THE BOAR CAN SHOOT LIGHTNING
jorb: ok you're gonna take 28 lightning damage
green: not even that bad
kepesk: [goes down to a third health]
FALCON IS HERE YEAH WOO THE HOTBOY IS HERE TO HOTGUY
wait that doesnt make sense out of context. hi jorb there is a hermitcraft bit where scar tries to be hawkeye from the avengers but it sounds like he's saying "hotguy" and so now his superhero persona is hotguy. and also im calling falcon hot
WHY DOES FALCON HAVE HALF OF THE PARTY'S TOTAL HP IN ONE MAN
we're still in the first round btw. they are now throwing javelins at nameless but OH MY GOD TARGOR IS NEARLY DEAD LMAO
round 2! very scuffed. alidaar ends up 3 hit comboing a Single Guy bc of an unlucky miss and im not wanting to risk another breath weapon while kepesk is in range bc uhhh 2d10 is not great when he's at 15hp. also im saving my big guns (runes + might) for when we engage the boar bc we're still thinning the crowd
jorb constantly reminding us we can use our movement and then Also reminding us that if we do we will get mauled . thanks jorb (lighthearted)
successfully avoiding taking further damage by going afk (this is not true but i did go afk. it was not a cunning plan)
TIME FOR BOAR . boar has been stuck in the corner because of all the men we are slaughtering.
green: he could move if he murdered the guys in the way
leo: does the boar have friendly fire?
OH MY GOD KEPESK DODGED A HIT AND THEN GOT NICKED BY THE OTHER ONE AND WENT DOWN TO 2 HP. JESUS
green: this is one of those bossfights in a game where you're like "oh i'm supposed to lose" and then you lose and get a game over
nameless: KEPESK YOU DUMB MOTHERFUCKER YOU CAN'T DIE ON ME
kepesk: [coughing] I CAN DO WHATEVER I WANT
nameless: NO YOU WON'T
jorb: [yellow] is gonna throw another javelin at falcon…
nyx: how many javelins does he have?
jorb: …yknow, that's a good point! he's not gonna do that!
jason: Magical item: bag of endless javelins
FALCON HAS A LONGSWORD. NICE
falcon sucks ass at swordfighting actually. great
jorb: turns out flailing a sword around 3 times in six seconds really sacrifices the accuracy. like "[falcon voice] huh. that looked cooler in my head."
alidaar charges at the guy next to falcon, hits with dragon slayer, whiffs with silver axe, then pivots and dragon slayers the guy on his left to death. NICE.
jorb: falcon says "[approving] that's what i was trying to do!"
alidaar: [thumbs up]
its the return of crunchy wordpad images sorry
WHY DID THEY REDUCE EVERYONE TO CUBES anyway we have successfully turned the tide
kepesk: [bites somebody] haha, didn't even taste that good!
jorb: roll a deception check.
green: haha - really ??
jorb: no.
jorb: next up it is the red cultists' turn! there are none of them left.
targor: fight on! the battle is nearly won!
alidaar: we still have a big boar to deal with!
kepesk: i have a big boar to deal with, i'm the only one fighting it (<- the only one targeted so far)
jorb: gorthok is gonna advance.
kepesk: i shouldn'tve said anything!
LOL GORTHOK JUST. WHIFFS THE ATTACK ON ALI. meanwhile kepesk keeps getting electrocuted
falcon continuing to - oh no he got a 20 to hit, nice! …and then got a 12. ok well 1 out of 3 aint bad
green: next time he'll hit 2, he's getting better!
leo: 1 out of 3 aint bad!
falcon: thanks guys, i appreciate it.
time for another silver breath weapon! god im glad i have 3 charges now. one guy left standing! (and the giant murder boar.)
OOF. MAN i fus ro dah'd gorthok to try and give kepesk some breathing room and it no-selled it. not ideal. however alidaar DID then jump over kepesk's head to axe the final add so now it is just The Boar Problem
OH MY GOD KEPESK COMPELLED DUEL LOL. love it when ridiculous compelled duels. nvm action economy is a mess
green: kepesk takes a look at the boar and goes BREAKFAST and bites it
following up with some nice rapier hits! woo! love that two guys have 2 actions and a bonus
green: im imagining that turn as kepesk like, bites, and then does the slashing on its butt while dangling from his jaws
HAHA KEPESK - uh oh nvm i am being stomped to death . OH GOD I AM LITERALLY BEING STOMPED TO DEATH. I HAVE BEEN KNOCKED DOWN TO -1 HP. THAT'S A FIRST . we haven't had to deal with that since the manticore! holy shit!
nyx: [stammering] IM GOING T . IM GOING TO . IM GGUWH. IM G [..] im going to cast guiding bolt
oh shit, 21 radiant damage! let's go! alidaar would be cheering if he wasn't unconscious
falcon does 2 piercing damage. he's helping
alidaar status: 1 succeeded death saving throw! huagh
OH GOD MY PLANS. I WAS GONNA BE THE HEAVY HITTER
green: [figuring out actions]
jorb: i'm sorry, you don't get to fire ball as a bonus action.
(kepesk has a necklace of fireballs! this can only end well. green has decided to not try and immolate the fort)
AAA THE BOAR IS NEARLY DONE AAAA CMONNNN KILL - OH MY GOD IT HAS RELENTLESS? IT GOT BACK UP . FUCK. BUT ALSO IT'S ON ITS LAST LEGS STILL GO - OH MY GOD KEPESK STILL HAS THE SECOND ACTION
KEPESK! KILL!!!
KEPESK IS GONNA FUCKING. AERITH GORTHOK. GOING FULL SHADOW OF THE COLOSSUS. KEPESK DID A SHADOW OF THE COLOSSUS KILL ON THE BIGASS BOAR
kepesk: FALCON. TELL THE COOK GUY
ali is still dead on the ground. lol.
green: you don't heal when the fight is over??
jorb: no.
leo: no :(
green: this sucks
alidaar is no longer dying! wahoo!
nameless: you're - my friend now. you're not allowed to die.
aw. and then little guy goes binturong and curls up on him.
kepesk: [injured] im the one that killed the thing =/
targor: we did it! we felled the beast! a glorious battle! hahahaowww
[..]
targor: it would be wise to rest.
kepesk: haha no it's ok [gets up] [falls back over]
calling the session early bc nyx has to do homework! gonna try and get together sooner though ^w^ this was pretty fun for a bossfight session
oh god gorthok was same cr as cryovain. but we handled him pretty well i think! (<- guy who got downed)
leo: we're picking up party members left and right now
nyx: we're slurping them up like jellyfish.
leo: [strained] grrreEAT
[klonoa voice] WAHOO! [deltarune explosion noise]
6 notes
·
View notes