#gow ragnarok au | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

layer-bloody-sun · 1 year

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Pov: my rambling turns into a small fanfic

I was talking to @silvergoldraeven about my Villain au and ended up writing Heimdall's POV on a fic i'm somewhat writing for Helg

I said Odin didn't trust Heimdall after Helg left right? That's because for once Heim didn't believe for a second his brother could have betrayed them. Of course he didn't believe Odin could have done anything either, there would HAVE to have been a misunderstanding. He wasn't aware Helg was mortally wounded either.

And rather than seeing it as Heimdall worrying about his TWIN BROTHER, Odin thought they both were conspiring against him. He couldn't throw him away tho, way too useful. So he just started being cold and distant, knowing Heimdall would seek for his approval as much as he could. But he bet on the wrong kind of trauma. Heimdall might have been distressed about being pushed aside at first, but it takes 10 years between Helg's disappearance and their fight. Slowly, Heimdall stopped caring about his father, because he came to realize Helg was right and their father didn't care, not truly, not for the right reasons. So he only stayed, because his solo efforts to find Helg went unrewarded and he hoped Odik would find him.

Odin hated seeing Heimdall slowly drifting away, that's not what he wanted. So he started acting warm again, blaming work and stress about Helg on his latest attitude. And then he tried to take Heimdall's eyes away. He sent someone, someone sneaky and deadly, to try and rob him of his eyes while he slept and his guard was down. It didn't work, but Heimdall can't sleep well anymore, not while in Asgard. He's always wary and hates, h a t e s, those damn ravens always circling above him in the skies. Odin sends more people after him so Heimdall starts taking his training more at heart, he remembers all the times Helg nagged him about his arrogance, he gets better. Odin is just getting angrier. The blond doesn't piece it together immediately that it's Odin orchestrating all this, he can't fanthom it. But when it happens more and more and his father dismisses his pleads for help in stopping this, he ends up snapping a little.

Heimdall starts giving Odin false intel, and retreats to the wall, he doesn't want to help him anymore and he starts even doubting all his words. He loathes himself for thinking he would have looked for Helg with any other goal than killing him.

He shoots down the ravens that get too close, blames it on an accident, he was just startled all-father, couldn't see the damn thing coming so close to him and reacted on reflex...

When Helg comes back, Heimdall is at his breaking point. When he sees the cloacked figure standing atop the wall he doesn't recognize the familiar clothes pattern, not the smile. He thinks Odin sent someone else. And when the stranger throw his hood back, Heimdall is astonished to see the face of the person he loves the most in all 9 realms and beyond. The one he missed every single day for the past ten years. He couldn't be happier.

But his brother has changed. Heimdall still cannot read him, but he's got better at telling people without his foresight: Helg is angry. No it's beyong angry it's like a mass of pure fury and rage. And Helg starts punching him. Calls him names, bellitles him.

He doesn't see his progress, how Heimdall can pary or dodge his attacks when he couldn't before.

And something inside of Heimdall is on the verge of snapping for good. But he can't, he can't just let himself break. He had always relied on Helg and now it was his turn. He'd take his attacks and his words, he doesn't believe any of the venom behind them. He knows his brother, he loves his brother, and nothing, not even Helg himself and his vitriol can change that.

But he can't parry forever, Helg was always talked down by their family but he was stronger then their brothers, only topped by Baldur's immunity and Thor's thunder which he didn't have. Heimdall was at the bottom of their ranks and he knew that. He dropped to the ground, tears finally flowing out after years of enduring. His face was covered in red and all he could taste was this metalic note blood always had. He didn't care if Helg thought he was weak, but he couldn't fight him with all he had, even out of respect, not when Helg's mind was so clouded.

"I don't want to fight, Helg"

He hopes, for a moment, when he doesn't answer but doesn't strike either. But when he kneels in front of him and puts a hand on his face, Heimdall is able to sense how deeply gone his twin is at the moment.

"Goodbye god of foresight."

Heimdall closes his eyes shut when he feels the blade poke into his neck and

And...

Nothing?

Heimdall opens his eyes and no one is there, not a single trace of his twin, like he was snatched away, erased. The wounds are there, his nose still dripping blood, his entire face and forearms pulsing along his eratic heartbeat through the many cuts covering them.

The adrenaline slowly fades, his entire body hurts. He gingerly gets back up on his feet, stumble more than walk to his small house. One he once shared with the twin that wounded him so badly. He sits down and tends to his wounds, slowly, taking his time, hands shaky and eyes still overflowing with overdue tears. He wouldn't gain anything more than an infection from rushing the process.

Clean, disinfect, bandage tightly, repeat with the next wound.

His face is another challenge, he can't really bandage it up, he'd be unable to even see. He splashes some water and hesitantly rubs it clean, whincing every now and then. His shaky arms aren't helping. He's gonna have a black eye, he thinks looking in his mirror, and his hair is a mess, it's cut everywhere. He half heartedly undoes the braids cut beyond repair and cringes seeing how uneven his hair is now. Maybe he could try a cut like Helg's or Baldur's so that it grows back more evenly... ah why bother.

Once he's sure he's not going to rot away, Heimdall crashes on his bed. He was exhausted, and lonely...

The young man sat up abruptly. Lonely? He never felt lonely, not even during those last ten years spent more isolated than ever. Clutching at his chest Heimdall realized something: he had never been able to tell where Helg was, but right now, he could tell he was gone. It had never happened, no matter how far Helg went in the 9 realms this feeling of longing never crossed Heimdall, not that way.

At first the blond was terrified, what had happened to his brother? How, and why had anything happened to him at that moment?

He needed to look for him, more than ever.

Heimdall got up, his left leg almost giving out under him, grabbed a bag and threw in essentials: a warmer coat where he to go to Midgard, All father's sake he'd even go to Hel itself if Helg had ended up there, bandages, maybe a ration...

He stopped halfway, sighing and lowering his head to his knees. What was he doing? He had no idea where his brother was, if it was like last time, all he would be doing was wander aimlessly and miss him just the same as if he was blind. In his state he would collapse before leaving Asgard. He wasn't even sure Helg was in the 9 realms anymore...

As if he could always be more pathetic, he cried himself to sleep that day.

A few days passed, Heimdall refused to go down to town to get food and other essentials like he'd usualy do. Instead he focused ok healing his wounds and methodically emptied and destroyed the content of his house. He would leave soon enough, and he wouldn't forget anything Odin could use. Thankfully Heimdall had a havresack Helg had messed with when they were children, allowing him to store much more than he should have been able to. He could take silly little things that were dear to him, things he should have cherished before his brother went missing the first time.

That day he was waiting, sat on the floor with the bag next to him, eyes closed and focused.

Until he felt it.

Clearer than ever, his brother's presence in Midgard. It was only for a brief moment before the feeling of comfort, of being fully complete, reapeared and filled his very being. He smiled as he realize the only reason he couldn't feel or read Helg, was because they were part of the same being. You can't truly separate twins, never. He allowed himself a moment to take in the sheer relief and warmth he felt.

He grabbed his bag and, making sure no ravens were around, took a few short steps to the bifrost bridge. That was an easy way to get to midgard but he had neglected it lately, not caring if Odin's soldiers could travel safely. As he was about to use it himself an idea struck his mind: he didn't need the bridge. The others, and to some extent Odin, did. Heimdall himself had been using his father's ravens for transport out of habit but that wasn't necessary. Wouldn't everyone be better without them able to go as they pleased?

The aesir chuckled lightly, he was starting to think like his twin, what a lovely thing. With a devilish smile, Heimdall kicked a part of the foundations of the bridge he knew was weak, sending on a chain reaction that toppled the very thing to the bottom of the wall. The rainbow route vanished soon enough as well. Satisfied, Heimdall jumped.

Not even reaching a quarter of the wall, he used his own bifrost and crashed into Midgard's usual snow; gods why was it always so cold here.

His legs were still a bit weak, not apprecuating the rough landing. He pushed the snow off of him, settled his bag properly on his back, and started wandering around, looking for signs of his brother. He had followed the feeling, but Midgard was vast and his brother could have been anywhere by now.

Soon enough he found sigils, warding evil away. His heart swelled when he was able to pass through them, meaning his brother still loved him deep down, at least enough that he wasn t seen as a threat.

From there on it was easy following the tracks, Helg apparently not caring much about stealth once inside his domain. It was clear the area was walked through regularly, trees cut down and markings in the ever dalling snow.

He walked, a few minutes too much for his legs were still recuperating from that landing, until he saw it, heard it.

Right around the corner, behind a massive rock, there was a house. A small house, stylized after their own but built by someone less experienced. Smoke was coming out of the chimney, and in what would be a garden in the summer, there were three people.

Two children which he didn't paid much attention to, and his brother, nagging said kids as they threw snow at him.

He was somewhat smiling, until he turned and saw Heimdall standing there, where he shouldn't be. His smile faded, but Heimdall couldn't tell what feeling it was from. They just stared at each other, the kids falling quiet.

"I found you"

Heimdall said in a murmur