#good times huh
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Mama loves you.
Marisa - harder than most mothers, it's safe to say - often heard the words spoken with unbearable softness. Not in her family, but the words danced in the streets, touching her ears like a melody. Mama loves you. Everything's alright, child. Mama loves you.
She remembers wanting to say the magic words more than anything in the world. The golden daemon never blinked, never moved, just sat beside her. Mesmerized, he never, not even for a moment, looked away from little Lyra and her soul companion as though if he did, they might have disappeared. As though his eyes were the only thing keeping them in existance. He knew then, Marisa thinks. He knew she wouldn't say it. She wouldn't dare.
She remembers words dissolving quicker than a thin layer of ice on a tongue. She remembers being hopelessly, cruelly mute.
Some things should live in minds only, is appears. In beautiful what-ifs, and never on the lips. They give the vow of silence, and Marisa's soul never utters another words as if none would be good enough. Fine, she decides. Silence it is.
Until.
Until.
Twelve years pass before Marisa sees her child. She is armed to the teeth, oozing danger with a metal-scented touch, stunning in a way nobody dares to confront, fully prepared - and the girl, the girl wears raggedy clothes and hardly knows what soap is. She bites nails. She stuffs food in her mouth. She's got a scar on her forehead and exactly three random, unevenly placed moles on her left cheek. That little monster attacks Marisa's heart like a bloodthirsty Tartar. She's got hugs instead of rifles. Marisa would have preferred the rifles. Blades. Anything. Lyra is running about with a string tied around her mother's throat. She's a wind-borne kite. Every time the girl throughtlessly gets too far, Marisa feels her lungs being yanked out of the chest.
Words return. Words seize her, rattle through her to the point where she cannot bear silence any longer, and the only thing stopping Marisa from saying them is not having enough breath. That, and the impossible task of saying words you never learned to say.
So she finds other words.
Blue is quite your color.
Mama loves you.
I think you can be extraordinary.
Mama loves you.
I'm only trying to protect you.
It starts spilling in every conversation. It's everything she's able to say after twelve years of silence. My place is with her. I want her with everything I have. If you find her, please keep her safe.
Mama loves you, loves you.
Lyra grows up having never, ever heard those words.
Her mother is hopelessly, cruelly late for saying them. It doesn't stop her from living them till the last breath.
#hey remember when i posted something#good times huh#idk its a birthday present to myself#the things i want to write about lyra and marisa ughhh!#i can hardly find time to do anything at all#but maybe i can still return from time to time with little pieces#dozens of unwritten masriel thoughts i love you too#but the trauma of being a mother / the trauma of being a daughter got to me first#hdm#his dark materials#marisa coulter#lyra silvertongue#lyra x marisa#marisa x lyra#hdm fic#< that's for me to track it's not really a fic :D oh well
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doing everything in my power to forget i have to be on planes tomorrow
#i havent been on a plane in... 6 years?#and even then it was high anxiety#but NOW?#haha yeah i'm fucked i'm gonna die from stress#good times huh#kill me.
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just remembered a few years ago when i posted "happy bisexual day to twilight sparkle" and a bunch of pro-ana blogs were in the replies mocking me
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Realization 2014 is a decade ago
(less than 2 months and 2014 will officially be a decade ago)
#damn ok#time flies#blink of an eye#i miss 2014#i miss 2016#good times huh#wish i could#turn back time#the good old days
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babygirl i will invent stages of grief you have never seen before
#good omens#good omens 2#good omens spoilers#so that ending huh!#this has been sitting in my drafts for months#i’ve been waiting for something to emotionally devastate me enough to post this and!! yeah!!!!!! this applies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#losing my mind#i was stunned i was at a loss for words#need season 3 on a flash drive and plugged into my brain STAT I CANT DO THIS#AUUUGGGGGHHH#good omens s2#good omens season 2#ineffable husbands#ineffable partners#time to open ao3 and pretend everything is fine!
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before you know about women, you hear that you do not need to love the man, just that you need to love him through his manhood. which is to say you have seen the future painted in lamb's blood over your eyes - how your mother shoots you a look about your father's inability to cook right. how your aunt holds her wineglass and says i'm gonna kill em. men, right! how your best friend bickers with her boyfriend, how she says i can't help it. i come back to him.
you learn: men are gonna cheat. men aren't going to listen when you're talking, because you're nagging. men think emotions are stupid. they think your life is vapid and your hobbies are embarrassing. men will slam things, but that's because men are allowed to be angry. if you get loud, you're hysterical. if a man gets loud - well, men are animals, men are dogs, men can't control their hands or their eyes or their bodies. they're going to make a snide comment about you in the locker room, about your body, about how you're so fucking annoying. you're going to give him kids, and he will give you the money for the kids, and you're going to be running the house 24/7 - but he gets to relax after a long day, because his job is stressful. the man is on stage, and is a comedian, and says "women!"
and you are supposed to love that. you are supposed to love men through how horrible they are to you - because that's what women do. that's what good women do. wife material. your father even told you once - it'll make sense when you're older. it was like staring down a very lonely tunnel.
it feels like something's caught in your throat, but it's all you know, so. it's okay that you see sex as a necessary tool, a sort of okay-enough ritual to keep him happy, even though he doesn't seem to care about happiness as-applied-to you. it is relationship upkeep. it is kissing him and smiling even though he didn't brush his teeth. it is getting on your knees and looking up and holding back a sigh because he barely holds you as you panic through the night. it's not like the sex is bad and you do like feeling wanted. and besides! he's a man! like... they're another species. you'll never be able to actually communicate, right. he isn't listening.
you just don't get it. you don't feel that sense of i'm gonna climb him like a tree. mostly it just feels fucking exhausting. you play the part perfectly. you smile and nod and are "effortlessly" charming. and it's fine! it's alright! you even love him, if you're looking. you could have good life, and a good family, and perfectly happy.
in the late night you google: am i broken. you google i'm not attracted to my husband. you google i get turned on by books but not by him. you google how to get better in bed.
the first time he yells at you, it almost feels like blankness. like - of course this is happening. this is always how it was going to end up. men get angry, and they yell, and you sit there in silence.
you mention it to your friend - just the once - while you're drunk. she shrugs and says it's like that with me too, i just try to forget and move on. men are always gonna hear what they want to. pick your battles and say sorry even though he's in the wrong. you play solitaire online for a month. you go to your therapist appointment and preach about how you're both so in love.
after all, you have a future to want. nobody lied about it - how many instagram posts say marriage is hard. say real love takes work. say we fight like cats and dogs but the best part is that we always make up. how many of your friends say happy anniversary to the best and worst thing to ever happen to me. if you really loved him - loved yourself too - you'd accept that men are just different from you.
the first time she kisses you, it's on a dare at a party. something large and terrifying whips through your body. you wake up sweating from dreams where her mouth is encrusted with pearls and you pick them off one by one with your teeth. fuck. you sit at the computer and your almost-finished game of sim city. you think about your potential perfect life and your potential future family. you google am i gay quiz with your little hands shaking.
you delete each letter slowly. you don't need to love him. you just need to keep going.
#warm up#writeblr#this is also about being ace btw#my identity has slowly shifted over time and maybe if everyone is REAL cool i'll talk bout it#bc it's complicated and nuanced. but this is like#trying to warn u that if you find it “relationship upkeep” to have sex with ur partner#and don't actually enjoy it or seek it for urself. u might just not be attracted to them.#which is fine ! ace ppl can be perfectly happy in any relationship they feel good in!#but also i wasn't as straight as i had expected!#> the first time i saw dick i was like. huh. oh okay that's fine i guess#> the first time i saw pussy i was like. WAIT ACTUALLY HANG ON I GET IT#i just assumed sex wasn't all it was cracked up to be ya know#but also like. btw? this IS NOT saying ''u might be gay not ace''#bc tbh i'm grey ace/demisexual#it's saying u might not be into ur partner. explore urself & ur feelings. turn inward.#TAKE THIS IN THE MANNER IT WAS MEANT> GENTLE AND KIND#AND NOT IN A WEIRD INTERNET WAY PLEASE#bc the truth is that there ARE ppl who are gay who assume that they just ''don't like'' sex#and ace ppl who might need a different partner w/different needs#and i would have REALLY needed to hear ''check in w/urself about if u actually like sex''#WAY EARILIER in my life. but nobody said anything bc they assume if ur having sex. u like it.#not just the actual act of sex. not once ur turned on. do you ACTUALLY like it. or is it a burden?#even if ur gay. check w/urself. maybe ur more ace than u realized. in which case. ADDITIONAL FLAG BB#i love collecting my flags. i'm at like 354 at this point#but also btw this is about how toxic relationships are SO normalized that u can be in one#and have everyone around u being like ''THATS JUST MEN LOL''
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@psychcdelica sent:
She could still crush a watermelon between her thighs.
And he can still wiggle and whine like the best of subs.
#psychcdelica#psychcdelica :: sae#inbox :: answered ic#I see you going through the history#good times huh
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#sparklepants#for me it’s the memory loss#never seen that trope done well. ever. and I’m actively mad about it every time it happens#tv tropes#narrative tropes#there’s like no good way to tag this huh#but I do want to know everyone’s thoughts#also hoping I didn’t miss something obvious as a choice
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starting off with an amuse-bouche of some of my initial favorite bits! y'all, this update was WILD.
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers#we really got it all in this update huh#we got flashbacks! backstory! shocking twists! cgs?!#we got the silver breakdown to end all silver breakdowns#the boy does not emote for 6 episodes straight and now it's POURING out and i am shoving my face directly into it#not to mention my favorite: action scenes represented by intensely wiggling the sprites around#and OF COURSE meleanor my beloved. your highness. ma'am. holy shit.#i guess it's mel instead of mal? hey she can spell her name however she wants#meleanor can do whatever she wants about anything. who is going to stop her.#meleanor: hold on baby. mommy wants to make a point. (yeets malleus' egg across the room into liia's face)#man though i am so afraid that crowley really might turn out to have been revaan this whole time#because this means we live in a world where dire fucking crowley managed to pull BOTH meleanor and lilia and i cannot accept that#briar valley are you okay. is it something in the water.#mrs. zigvolt took all the good taste and left none for anyone else
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the JD loosing touch with society adventures
imagine him rattling and sweating more and more the longer this goes on
While I patiently wait for @picory to make his 'how JD and Rhonda met' animatic I had to get this stupid idea out of my system...
youtube
bonus:
next step: they steal the car
#i can't even tell if this is funny anymore i spent too much time on it#trolls#dreamworks trolls#trolls 3#trolls band together#trolls john dory#trolls oc#i guess#that scorpion really is a creature i created huh#i made it just so jd had something to stand on but now i kinda love the guy#i think jd would call him scorporal#i just came up with that because i'm just that good#scorporal#my art#the eric andre show#harry's car place#i don't trust like that#this clip is the only thing i think about when someone mentions jd's voice actor
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ah so it looks like nina are maggie are gonna be the parallel that’s so painfully obvious that it forces aziraphale and crowley to confront their own- MY GOD IT’S BEELZEBUB AND GABRIEL WITH A STEEL CHAIR
#🌻#i'm gonna be honest. i did NOT see that one coming.#every time i saw fan theories about them i chuckled and shook my head. it looks like i'm the fool.#i don't hate it but i was like huh????? wuh??????????????????#good omens spoilers#gos2 spoilers#good omens
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everyone look at this fish i had to draw for my illustration class. for a grade. i am going to get a good grade in therapy salmon, something which is both normal to w
#just did the calculation and this class costs me 8k a semester. btw. money well spent#new york times hire me to do your spot illustrations since i am clearly so fucking good at it. god i hate editorial assigments#skribbles#the worst part is i KNOW im going to go into crit and people r going to be like umm therapy salmon doesnt really fit the vibe of the articl#OK SHUT THE FUCK UP. MAYBE I LIKE DRAWING FISH HAVING MENTAL BREAKDOWNS. HUH. DID YOU EVER THINK OF THAT
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Gonna spend some time cleaning up the Secret Life Spreadsheet for the final post but I just need everyone to see this absolutely WILD graph that was so insane I had to triple fact check to make sure I wasn't losing my mind.
Are. Are you kidding me.
I swear I'm about to make one of these for every other season because I simply MUST know if this has always been the case, that one or two people get most of the kills. There's no way right??? Scar was simply on something this finale (Gem is always Like That I was expecting her to look this way)
Also fun tidbit: all three of Etho's deaths were because of Scar. He killed that man three times. Etho is the only person who died the same way every time.
#as i was making the chart i was thinking to myself#'huh scar sure did get a lot of kills this ep wonder how that's gonna affect the graph'#AND THEN I MADE THE GRAPH#scar you legend these fools are not immune to the good times#also sidenote: the etho's wither and grian's warden aren't credited to them they're credited as '1 stick wither' and 'ethos dishwasher'#might change that later idk#secret life spoilers#goodtimeswithscar#geminitay#secret life smp#secret life#life series#trafficblr#saf does stats
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I'm suffering, I'm having a great time
#ffxiv#ffxiv memes#I made this#This story just hits you over and over right in the heart huh#There are very few characters I HATE. most of the villains just make me so so sad#And I love that#I want more stories like this#And I am having a good time truly#This game is just really taking me through it goddamn
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Totally real image of Beanix trying to set up the MASON system
#doctorsiren#ace attorney#phoenix wright#beanix#aa4#aa4 spoilers#<- technically ig#ace attorney fanart#meme redraw#art#digital art#my art#fanart#procreate#bro’s not good with tech but then he pulls up with this time travelin’ jury system like bro huh who helped you with that part#that’s enough meme redraws for today time to work on actual stuff haha
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