Feels so good to be getting back to routine! Had an hour long workout yesterday and today. Funny how when I’m out of routine just working out 20mins feels like a struggle, but once I’m back an hour almost feels too short. It’s by far the best part of my day.

I was supposed to go into the office today - for no reason I just said I was going to go- but I didn’t. There’s no one there, and although there is ac I have really been enjoying working from home lately. Got a new home office set up and I have all these cute pets around.

Grateful for a job that is so flexible. I’ve come a long way in this role and I’m proud of myself for slowly improving. No matter how slowly, I am growing, I am doing my best.

Anyway, it’s way too fcking hot to do anything outside lately which is a bummer. Tomorrow should maybe be cool enough for a bike ride in the morning. It’s not even as hot here as other places. Just sucks summer is turning into this inferno and the planet is dying and all, but imma try to enjoy the ride while I’m on it.

Question- can you have an anteater as a pet? Hahahaha.. don’t worry I’m not running out to get one, just very curious.

Look at these babies!!!!

(via)

There's more to praising than just "Good girl":

"I wish you could see how pretty you look right now"

"You deserve this"

"I know you can do better than that. Come on, my love. There we go, good girl"

"I'Il always come back to you*

"You're taking me so well"

"Look at you, doing so well for me"

...

Feel free to add more ♡

It’s too fun texting her perverted things while she’s in public. Sitting there reading the filthy things I want to do to her, telling her in detail how much I want to ruin her. But she’s just there, sitting and not being able to touch herself. Pressing her legs together, trying to make herself feel good in anyway she can but it’s still not enough, is it princess? It must be so frustrating being wet in public, unable to touch yourself, trying to hide the fact you’re going feral. God isn’t that the cutest little thing..

tumblr gave me a free blaze post so yall are gonna see my dog cause i love him so much

and because it's a blazed post

Had a nice little mental breakdown after work yesterday. Came home and just crawled right into bed and watched hocus pocus with both pets.

Definitely got enough sleep but still woke up so sleepy and drained today. But I’m ready to show up. Going to do a nice easy workout and take the pup for a walk. Apply to more jobs and maybe clean the bathroom.

Idk maybe I’ll take a nap and play some video games in bed too. Definitely feeling a bit down and not quite myself. But this will pass.

getting older can be so amazing? you get more familiar with yourself. learn tips & tricks for troubleshooting your own brain. trial & error helps you build routines that minimize discomfort, maximize reward. your preferences/interests don't get set in stone, but you do find out which ones are going to stay with you in the long-term, and which ones are fun but transient joys to appreciate in the moment.

you learn that the world is so much more complex than you were taught, and that that's okay, and that there's an endless supply of things you can learn or watch or experience or think about if you want to. if you're lucky, you loosen up, stop putting so much pressure on yourself. if you're lucky, you learn to recognize that negative inner voice, and whack it with a baseball bat until it hushes up. if you're lucky, you learn to treat yourself gently, not because you are fragile but because you are worthy of gentleness. (i hope you are lucky.)

and some things will change. some things will get better. some things will get good. and maybe you start to recover from the dehumanizing stress of childhood/education. maybe you learn the power of your own autonomy. maybe you learn how to walk away from bad situations (which is a superpower even if you don't realize it yet). and you get to choose your own clothes. and your own food. and which relationships to pursue! and what you do with your free time. and with your life (but don't worry you get to choose that gradually). and that's crazy! and sometimes scary. and extraordinarily, indescribably precious.

internet safety tip: to protect your identity, you can start going by a "fake name" online. But Watch Out

I will fuck you like the cheapest, filthiest fucking whore imaginable.

Then I’ll take care of you like the prettiest, softest princess in the world 🖤

Yes, you can curl up with your head in my lap while I work. Of course you can. You're my good pet, aren't you? *ruffles hair* Yes, yes you are!

I love how you put up with me working. I love how cute you look when your eyes start to close, when you fall asleep in my lap. You're so good for me, aren't you? Sweetheart.

Fuck me so hard it hurts to the point I try to crawl away from you, trembling and whining… I wanna feel helpless, I wanna feel scared, I wanna feel tiny and breakable… please👉🏻👈🏻

😵‍💫

here’s a little something before i go back to studying 🙈