good fucking morning who did I say would pony up with the Stars and Stripes deluxe special that’s right Marc Marquez OUR honorary what the fuck is a kilometer man of the week
Well, we're off to a great start. I had just taken my first sip of coffee, walking into the living room. I hear a cat making unmistakable horking sounds and look over to see Amara, on the back of the couch, assuming the position.
My first thought is "no, no, no, no! Not on the couch" but I do have the presence of mind to realize that I am holding a very full cup of hot brown liquid that will definitely slosh if I move quickly. So I set my cup down on a tray table, so as not to spill hot coffee while shooing the cat off the couch to puke on a more easily cleaned surface.
BUT, in my rush to both avoid spilling my full cup of coffee and keep the cat from vomiting on my couch, I nudge the tray table. Thus failing spectacularly at both tasks and dumping an entire cup of coffee on my couch while interrupting the cat mid-vomit so that she manages to leave a trail on the couch while jumping on to the floor.
My mom just yelled at me to get up because I shouldn’t be in bed until 11 and then proceeded to call me a narcissist because I only think of myself and I don’t listen to her.
She’s projecting:D
Good fucking morning to you too.
(And just now made me cry because she was talking to her friend, yelling, and said “AND THIS LITTLE ASSHOLE THINKS ITS OKAY TO BE SLEEPING AT 11:25! I CANT FUCKING WAIT TILL YOU HAVE KIDS, (my name)! YOU’LL UNDERSTAND WHY I SAY THE THINGS I DO!”)
No the fuck I won’t. I’ll love and treat my children with respect.