Yup. That’s how creepy it came off.

The weird breathy voice thing and even weirder pauses like she was preprogrammed. Just blink if you’re okay.

We really live in a day and age where TikTok is more prioritized than people getting k*lled 🤔

"We're going backwards

Armed with new technology

Going backwards

To a cavemen mentality"

We can track in all the satellites Seeing all in plain sight Watch men die in real time But we have nothing inside We feel nothing inside

thought on my mind | 007

I recently read this quote "You only accept the love you think you deserve" which I mean it makes complete sense. In my situation it means if I think I don't really deserve what I'm getting I will absolutely try to sabotage it anyway possible. I've learned the hard way that I need to stop letting myself get in the way of actual happiness like I've had multiple times and suprisingly she has taken me back time after time. The first time I don't think she knows but I ignored her for a whole day when we were talking like at the beginning but I ignored her and then I couldn't take it she had texted me throughout the day to take care of myself so I texted her back with some lame ass excuse and I'm so grateful that she took me back. The second time I full on told her hey I don't think we should talk anymore and some other things that I am so not proud of and then like a day or two later I was like fuck I miss her so much so I went back to her and she took me back again. These two times we werent dating just talking. The final time before we started I just blocked her no explanation and the I went back to her again and she took me back again. I am the biggest red flag in this relationship and I am fully aware of that I'm not proud of it but I know it. The last and I hope and pray the last time I fuck up with my girl I broke up with her, I had broken up with her because I couldn't do long distance anymore which was honestly less than half of the story most of it was the fact that my ex best friend had flirted with me a ton when we hung out. Which was SUPER disrespectful of her because she knew for a fact that I was with my girl and she made me super confused. One thing about this whole situation that is fucking me up is the fact that I put my girl in a position to lose her but my girl would never put me in a position to lose me ever. My question is why would I do that which I still haven't found the answer to. I will keep pondering this until I find the answer. Maybe it was just self sabotage maybe it wasn't but I'm going to find out what made me do that and make that decision because I need to know. Sooooooo tip #7 please for the love of everything in the world be cautious with your decisions even if you think they might not affect anyone they will ALWAYS think things through there might not be someone as willing to take you back every time you mess up. To be honest I just got lucky.

Going Backwards: Part III

Get Lucky.

Chapter Three: Going Backwards.

Part III.

Previous - Next

its kinda hard to move on

and get away from these thoughts .

I am thinking it will be best to just turn off the news today….. we are about to have a hell of an end to pride month in the US.

Someone tell me I'm not serious for wanting to make stickers of all the Doctors.....

I want to be able to afford Starbucks I want to go back to work I want to drive more than a mile away I want to go to lunch with my family I want to be able to spend time alone without freaking out I want to hit small goals!!!!!!! I don’t even care about the big goals anymore I don’t care that I can take public transport and navigate the city and be surrounded by thousands of people because if I can’t work enough to afford a goddamn bubble tea what the fuck is the point?????????? I want to visit my goddaughter tomorrow so bad but not only can i barely afford the rides there and back i dont know if im emotionally capable of doing it.  And if not now, when?????? When she’s six months old already and she’s a different person? When she’s two and I don’t even know her? I have a onesie that won’t fit for very long but it will right now and I have to get it to her!!!!!!! I’m just SO tired and all my friends and family are SO tired because when I have bad days to my family its just another bad day but to me I STILL feel like I’m being ripped apart!!!!!!  WHEN WILL I BE BETTER?????? WHEN WILL THIS STOP? I CAN’T DO THIS ANYMORE I feel like I did in September and that’s crazy to say but I DO.  I don’t wanna die anymore but living is so fucking hard right now and I don’t know how to do it right.

to answer “why am i not being spoiled” i think this quote may be a clue🕵🏾: “when boyfriend number 8 is acting up”. you want baji but he isnt even at the top of ur list bae

LNFOAIDOAOSOAOA STAWP, THERE WAS NEVER A PARTICULAR ORDER!! baji knows he’s #1

Across the ancient world we find mysterious stone ruins that are so sophisticated and advanced that they look like structures from the distant future, rather than the primitive past. Scholars ignore these ruins because academia in general upholds the “evolutionary” paradigm, which sees man as rising and evolving. They believe our modern society marks the pinnacle of human progress. Yet our ancient ancestors believed the opposite—man is falling, declining. More accurately, man has fallen from a sophisticated “Golden Age” civilization that flourished globally in the remote past. If this ancient and once-universal belief is correct, then is it possible that relics from this Golden Age are still visible in some of the most advanced archaeological monuments we find scattered worldwide?

We are not there yet / We have not evolved / We have no respect / We have lost control

We're going backwards / Ignoring the realities / Going backwards / Are you counting all the casualties?

We are not there yet / Where we need to be / We are still in debt / To our insanities

We're going backwards / Turning back our history / Going backwards / Piling on the misery

We can track in all the satellites / Seeing all in plain sight / Watch men die in real time / But we have nothing inside / We feel nothing inside

We are not there yet / We have lost our soul / The course has been set / We're digging our own hole

We're going backwards / Armed with new technology / Going backwards / To a cavemen mentality

We can emulate on consoles / Killings we can control / For senses that have been dulled / Because there's nothing inside / We feel nothing inside

We feel nothing inside / (We feel nothing, nothing inside) / We feel nothing inside / (We feel nothing, nothing inside) / We feel nothing inside / (We feel nothing, nothing inside) / We feel nothing inside / (We feel nothing, nothing inside) / We feel nothing inside / (We feel nothing, nothing inside)

Because there's nothing inside / Because there's nothing inside

Experiencing some anxiety in the closing months of my early twenties. It feels like every coping mechanism that I have is becoming more and more futile to the point where I am just anxious all the time.

Woke up in my boyfriend’s house at 12pm after setting a 6am alarm and he was gone and I couldn’t find anyone and the house was empty and I had to leave without deadbolting the door.

I ended up stranded in South Norwood because I went to his work to tell him, and it turned out it was fine. I went to a dinner last night and was mostly just listening because I was too overwrought to speak. I worked so hard last year to overcome my anxiety and today and yesterday just felt like regression. Spoke to my mum and then my best friend and I cried and cried.

I wrote something a little over a year ago about how I am forging myself and my progress wasn’t always going to be spectacularly linear but lately I feel exhausted and jittery with nerves all the time. I am done sitting with myself and want to feel restored again.