#god I never take a break do I.
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I realised I have not drawn Roza for quite a while so as a treat I thought I would practice some drawing and editing again
...and after about a month it hit me I needed to add some much-needed editing so here she is yet again - this time as a half-elf
background by WangXiNa on Freepik
#oc#original character#tattooist oc#artist oc#artist original character#tattooist original character#digital drawing#krita#krita art#photoshop#photoshop edit#ani's edits#ani's art#fantasy art#fantasy oc#for a change here's a rigmor#going to change her race in her story too#god I never take a break do I.
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Hey do you remember all those videos of Fernando smelling flowers? Haha yeah....
#posting this both while im asleep and after whatever bee event ends up happening#so who knows what will happen! will we get nothing? will we get eye contact? will we possibly get an interaction? its a surprise!!#anyways this is basically me hearing about seb's bee event and he said the drivers will be there#me deep in my vettonso brainrot: OH MY GOD THEY'RE GONNA BE IN THE SAME VICINITY#will be so funny for me if when i wake up i find out fernando didnt even go 😭#but we remain hopeful 🙏#also this is just very funny to me bcs like both seb and fernando have very specifc quirks#and what are two of their specific quirks? seb and his bee thing. fernando and his flower thing from this season#so this fanart is perfect y'know 🥰🥰🥰#also screeching over how this is the first canon au drawing ive ever drawn. ive literally never drawn non-au until now 💀💀💀#okay and now some horrible jokes thay happened during the process of this:#thesis of this drawing: whats Fernando gonna do? Pollinate him? 😏#C. why did you have to make me think of bees that produce sex pollen 😭😭 this is gonna haunt me forever. but also vettonso post-japan fic-#and then also the barry benson thing. im like what do humanized bees look like and then realized 'oh no....oh no.'#fernando to seb at the bee event: 'ya like samurais...?' SORRY 😭#also having to pick the colors from one of my historical au drawings was haunting. just the sheer difference btwn them yknow......#anyways please take my old men yaoi. took a break from historical yaoi to draw this 😭😭😭😭#this is my peak vettonso fanart cannot improve from here. also a fever dream#vettonso#f1#formula 1#sebastian vettel#fernando alonso#catie.art.#*not gonna edit the tags bcs i like the time capsule of it all but like. yeah. we were fed.#*catie from 2 hours prior(atm its 3 am) would be so pleased right now i think
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Honestly could we throw out the idea that totk's story issue is that it isn't consistent with the lore of the older games but instead drops intresting world building from botw because it might have gotten actually dark
#seriously eveeyone keeps up bring up the triforce not being the same like the older games instead of HEY why DOES the royal family just.....#have it#like all of it#and was the sheikah tech from the last game that functions the same was as light arrows/the biden blast was uh#how do i put this#how did they weaponize lightmagic in robots and does this all tie in with the “banishment” thing#or idk dropped point from botw zelda's fucking chracter arc#i know it ended with LOOOK!!!! YOU FUCKED UP BY DOING WHAT YOU THOUGHT WAS RIGHT#But damn they could of just not done that shit in totk making her just the#what was jt#idk man they just keep taking away her agency#man and it sucks cuz the dragon is so cool but mf shes forced to do it what she gonna do stay in the past and DIE?#idk man it just all feels hasty. makes me sad#and it sucks cuz a lot of shit shit is really cool and intresting but man idk i may become a botw zelda deserved a better weiter for her#becuase girl she needs a break. not saying chracters cant go through hardship#but there is something so nasty about the framing of youll never be anything but eveey past princess zelda trope and nothing more#instead of a crystal she turns into a dragon like guys this is the same as skyward sword but idk man is it werd to say#when Hylia does it aginst a thing that wants to steal the god triangles and is also a god its like yeah you had no other choice#how the fuck did one fuckass stone make ganondorf into a god like being you would think that like#mannwhy are the stones THAT powerful and why werent the other bitches able to take them down what because#did#did rauru give sonia the equivalent of the one ring at their wedding hey wait a fuck#sorry for all my spelling mistakes but what the fuck man
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I’ve been reading a very very very dark Skybound Fic all night and I feel slightly ill but I’m so so obsessed with literally every “how Jay’s lightning works” headcanon
#IM FINE LMAO I OVERESTIMATED HOW DARK THIS WOULD GET BUT IM ALL GOOD#I’m waiting until tomorrow to finish it cuz like Dear first master#it’s#6 in the morning#but I stay silly :3#my mom’s gonna be like are you okay when I’m a zombie tomorrow and imma be like#NO#CUZ JAY IS STILL ON THAT FUUUCKING SHIP#LIKE GOD HOW MUCH MORE CAN HE TAKE#WE’RE SIX CHAPTERS IN AND THERES STILL SIX TO GO WHAT ELSE CAN THEY DO TO THIS MAN#in case you’re wondering it’s bending but never breaking#DO NOT#READ IT#IF YOU ARE A MINOR#AND HEED THE TAGS BECAUSE THEYRE ALL ACCURATE#but holy fuck it’s FASCINATING#ALSO KUDOS TO THE AUTHOR FOR JAY CONTINUING TO BE SNARKY THROUGH ALL THAT HOLY SHIT????#ESEPCAILYL CHAPTER 6 LIKE LITERALLY ITS SO LONG AND SO FUCKED UP#BUT LIKE THE IDEA THAT JAY CAN KNIT HIS WOUNDS BACK TOGETHER WITH LIGHTNING AND SHIT THATS SO COOL ALSO THE BODY HORROR FROM NADAKHAN IS SO#SICK NOT ENOUGH PEOPLE ACTUALLY MAKE HIM MONSTROUS (physically he’s obviously a monster) BUT LIKE#MAN#I JUST CANT GET OVER JAYS LIGHTNING THO#I’m gonna find the post where#cuz I found the fic from a post#cuz the post talked about it#the lightning stuff so imma reblog that probably#that was a long winded ramble uhhhhh#anyways I literally reached my tag limit so rip i rambled here huh#spinjitsu screams#I’m not tagging ninjago over my unhinged rambling in the tags at the crack ass of dawn I’ll be normal tomorrow maybe
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college is kicking my ass
#SOMEONE HELO ME#i have 5 weeks left#Dear god#i’m so stressed over this stupid shit#summer break save me ..#i in fact did not take summer classes this year#THANKFULLY I JUST#couldn’t do it again lol#college#core core of me#AUGH!#just gotta get through it grind never stops!#please can it stop ………#emo yappin#marble hornets#LOL#jay merrick#i get it man
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layers of school and family and health issues and future planning and final exam stress aside, do you ever feel like there is a long ongoing scream inside of you that seems to have no end ha haaaa
#the ironic thing i think is that i'm sitting closest to the window rn#and i can see the boy i agonized over for seven months sitting with his girlfriend#very clearly in the reflection because they're sitting behind me :)#and no matter how loudly i play my music i can still hear them laughing together every once in a while!#he told me today that the thing he asked me to edit for him just won him a scholarship and i was like congrats!!#this IS what i've become to you! editor friend who cooks and brings snacks!#and it's like. well you don't NEED me anymore. which is a silly thought because he never did need me in the first place#(and the need to be needed is a bit... hmm.... there's a lot there i do need to examine carefully)#it's not even worth talking about boy no.2 who is kind enough to break anyone's heart lollll and who is definitely definitely#and clearly in every way definitely not interested or available or anything close to it#anyway im not in tears tonight lolll thank God i am mostly okay#but i think i need to take an early night :') clearly i am starting to be emotionally overwrought#it is not AGONY........ it is something quieter i think.
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the disparity in kudos between a skk fic and a fic for literally any other bsd characters/ship :/
#like okay i get it skk is the most popular bsd ship by a longshot#but it does kinda suck that my skk fics will always end up being more popular than literally anything else i write for bsd#when i have way better fics tbh#okay i'm unleashing this from my drafts lol#like i get it kudos/hits/bookmarks counts aren't telling of how good a fic is#but out of my last five fics. my skk one has ONE HUNDRED kudos more than the next most kudos#and idk it also sucks that i know my skk is better than 90% of the fandom but. even my skk fics get significantly less kudos/etc#than big writers in the fandom who AREN'T EVEN GOOD#or are like. mid at best#i know in theory that the bsd fandom doesn't care about characterization but like. not only do they encourage bad characterization#it feels like sometimes they're actively against good characterization#even in j.jk and a.tla where there are major issues with bad characterization#more people seem to at least appreciate the good characterization. (even if they aren't good at it themselves.)#but i swear to god no one in the bsd fandom cares about anything besides whether dazai and chuuya are kissing. it begins and ends there.#it never ceases to amaze me (derogatory) how a fandom where the source media draws So Much inspiration from classic literature#can somehow have NEGATIVE media literacy skills#why don't you guys take a break from your edgy dazai x softboy chuuya fics and you fems.kk with dazai in skimpy clothes and your#beast chuuya sobbing and killing himself over dazai's death#and go read some of the books by the actual authors. and then write me an essay about the themes that has nothing to do with shipping.#and THEN you can come back to the fandom.#listen i love skk but oh my god sometimes the fandom makes me hate them.#anyway one of these days i'm going to get anon hate for complaining about the bsd fandom so much but that's fine#at least i know there are characters in the show besides dazai and chuuya. and when i do write skk AT LEAST I DO IT RIGHT.#hello grace here
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She always surprises me.
#gentleman jack#perioddramaedit#gentlemanjackedit#gentlemanjackdaily#gentleman jack spoilers#anne lister#ann walker#suranne jones#sophie rundle#gifs#iredreamer#best scene of the whole season for now but now i need to rant because i can't with anne being so terrified it breaks my heart#and her fears are just so fucking real the fact that ann could want something that she could never EVER give he breaks her#just think how she tries to always give ann what she needs and desires all the time but children you know? if ann wants children then what??#and she's terrified because she can't do anything about it#and this whole ending#MY GOD ANN WALKER OWNS MY ASS YALL#the way adney takes her hand#THE KISS#THE CARESS#good lord help#i've said this in season one and i'll say it again#the way ann walker comforts anne lister mirroring the ways in which anne lister takes care of her fucking sends me#i need to write a proper analysis of this scene#bye
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Nina, how did Stan figure out Kyle liked him?
ohhhhhh my goddd.
so, i’m still kind of taking a break, but this is sort of a low maintenance ask i can answer quickly
— and it’s cute. c’:
alllllright, so basically after they started secret dating, jerseykyle, having an ego the size of jupiter, was like “…how d’ya even figure out i liked you?” because he thought he was being soooo fkn slick.
he was not, btw. like when have you ever seen kyle GLUED TO HIS PHONE??? and not only that, but this man was sending ‘Haha’ TO STANS LAME ASS MEMES. like are you JOKING??? literally when has jersey ever sent HAHA in his goddamn LIFE????
anyways, stan shrugged n said “well, it was easy…
— you blush everytime i look at you.” ;)
aND JERSEKYLE WAS AGHAAAAST. he was like “I. Do. NAUGHT.” and i shit u not when style gently guided his chin towards him because he looked away to meet his eyes, the way that blush spread over his nose and cheeks and all the way up his ears. UNSERIOUS! SIMP!
to which ravenstan, feeling very victorious indeed, whipped out his compact mirror ( yes, he does actually carry one around bc he be doing his hot boy guylinea ) was like “see?” SO JERSEY KYLE COULD SEE HIS RED ASS MO’FUCKIN FACE. and kyle, extremely humbled, was like “pfpfppftttt!!! l-listen! I HAVE ROSECEA!!!” he was stutterin, that man never stutters. ravenstan nation.
speaking of ravenstan nation, he did in fact do the stupid stan laugh and one dimple smile at him and bop him on the nose and go “aw, that’s so cute.” <3 AND KYLEEEEE OH MY GOD THAT PLACE WHERE STAN TAPPED HIS NOSE WAS SOOOO RED HELPPPPP.
anyways…my sons.
-uncle nina, proud mom
#okay sorry this was kinda short and unhinged#BUT LITERALLY#im sorry stan is gorgina#if he looked at me deeply into my eyes#and bat his gigantic freaking doll eyelashes at me#i would stare choking#if he looks fondly at u give su a lil spanish pet name#swipes an eyelash off ur cheek and blows#a lovely cinnamon scented breeze on ur face#it’s over for u i’m sorry you are done forever#NOT KYLE TYPING HAHA#LIKE THAT MAN HAS NEVER TYPED HAHA IN HIS LIFE#TO THE WORST JOKES UVE EVER SEEN#jersey texting him after work like wyd celebrity boy lounging around getting fed grapes and shit lmao#TRYING SO HARD TO SEEM UNBOTHERED#and ravenstan was like ugh i wish i have 4 more hours in the studio :///#kYLE SO FAST WAS LIKE “You should take a break”#Or Whatever! Haha.#HEEEEELP and stan sent back thank you :’) AND HE WAS GIGGLIN AND KICKING HIS FEET OH MY GOD#but yes he do be blushing everytime stan looks at him#it does thrill him
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One better (Patreon)
#Doodles#SCII#Helix#ZEX#Blood#I knew going into this and it was still so distressing :'0#Who needs plot twists when you can create such an intense sense of Dread#Probably doesn't help that I read this At Night In the Dark lol - actual shivers#Gods this was a hard scene to read - there have been several instances of my face hurting from furrowing my brow so hard haha#The way that ''Doctor'' is written is So skillful - I'm so impressed by everyone's prose and quirks and syntax!#Not to mention when he breaks character in a later scene to apologize for taking a bit to move the scene along haha <3 Play!!#It really does speak to just how much skill and effort is put into everything <3 It's so well done all the way around!!#Anyway to the actual scene at hand lol ow :') Drawing blood is always fun but I wish it wasn't his ;u;#Ugh the way he takes the surgeries is so well written - fear of course but a kind of stoic suffering as much as he's able to -#Until it comes to his eye#Ugh the /break/ of it all he goes from so eloquent - almost snarky and silly! Still trying to find an out make peace do /something/#It all goes completely out the window he's so /reduced/ and nothing hurts worse than that ughughugh#For all his intelligence and wit and prior successes and charm and just - everything that makes him /him/ to be dissolved into abject fear#It's so sad ;; And so well done <3#And he still holds enough of himself to know what he'd be losing wegh it's so sad!! He's so defined by his vision as most VUX are it's fjdsl#Zelnick is already gone by this point but I wanted to throw him in for extra sad flavour :')#Plus - I've mentioned his post-Op was one of the ones from the gallery that Actively kills me every time I look at it#Can you imagine my heartbreak to find out that he didn't have his Captain to comfort him after this in actuality? That he was fully alone?#''Are we home? Is it over?'' ''N...not yet'' - The Absolute Devastation of realizing that Never Was not really#Just tear my heart out why don't you ugh I'm fully bleeding out 💔#That last one is actually meant to be Max but it's open to interpretation :)#I think it's such a waste that his eye was just disposed of! Someone else could've used that (lol)#I do think there's something to the idea of seeing what used to be a part of your body elsewhere - like the Leftovers!#Even just keeping as a memento tho - a trophy - insult to injury but literally#Just points to no one being special and nothing being sacred I suppose
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[pericky; a look into ricky's head during their meeting.]
---
"I'm glad you came, I wasn't sure you would." The wine pours, the sound of it drowning out the missing word in that sentence: back.
Of course, is the response, and the part of Ricky that's spent twenty years tearing itself apart to understand why vibrates with relief. It doesn't matter anymore. Of course, of course, he thinks giddily along with the words. He never needed to wonder why Pericles wasn't coming back in the first place; he was always going to.
I'm happy you invited me, and of course he thinks again. A lifetime of pretending he wasn't always going to either falls away. However harsh and lonely the world has been, all's right with it again; and the shy voice of the boy inside him that he's tried so hard to kill says, so quietly, I missed you.
#sdmi#scooby doo: mystery incorporated#pericky#ricky owens#professor pericles#anyway fucking end me actually. lay me down to die#i said i was gonna write more pericky and by fucking god i did#the 'why did you do this to me' to 'oh thank god you didn't actually do this to me' pipeline of abuse folks 🥲#which like. their last conversation is yet another devastating example of ricky finally standing up to pericles' bullshit Too Late#ricky denounces him in the strongest terms he knows; based on his own feelings and opinions and the way he sees the world#(which: even then he can't bring himself to say 'i don't love you anymore')#(the closest he can get is 'i chose you and i can't take it back; the only way i can imagine not loving you is if i never had at all')#and pericles tries to go 'nyeh nyeh whatever i don't care' (and does a real bad job of pretending he is not obviously hurt lmao)#and ricky doesn't try to understand his logic; he doesn't try to reconcile a world where pericles didn't *really* mean to do anything wrong#his response is MAYBE YOU *SHOULD* CARE.#pericles' view of the world and what's right and acceptable are warped and *wrong* and he's the one who needs to get his shit together#'you shouldn't have abused me you shouldn't have killed cassidy you shouldn't have murdered a child in cold blood'#that is MASSIVE and i think it is really telling that pericles' response is to shut him down with force instead of trying to argue any more#and that in the end is the real true fucking tragedy of it all#ricky is making huge strides one after the other to take back his freedom from pericles emotionally#....and materially it makes no difference to improve his situation in the moment; because pericles doesn't have any less power to abuse him#he never has a triumphant moment where he Overcomes His Abuser and Breaks Out of His Control#there's nothing he can do to fight back until pericles is too Literally Dead to control him anymore#it is one of the rawest depictions of the reality of abuse i've ever seen and just. God. i love it so much#(at the same time i REALLY want to explore a version of events where he got the chance to expand further on that growth)#(the 'all witches are selfish; make all things yours; i have a duty' speech from the wee free men comes to mind)#whosebaby makes things#whosebaby writes#SDMItag#dyn: when i die i want you to die too
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.
#it went!!! idk lately my pain treshhold has been so low bc im in pain all the time#so i just dont wnna be in pain anymore... he said that now it'll still hurt for a few days T-T#but he wasnt exactly sure what it was but i had.. a cavity??#im not rlly sure abt the english terms for all of this but the tooth is dying lol#but instead of immediately killing it nd getting a root fill he said that we should give the tooth a chance#so he fixed what he could fix#i hate dentist treatments bc of all the air nd water nd my anxiety i need to swallow constantly#but this time i actually told them abt it nd he was very helpful sksks#he even said 'ok now take a break nd swallow' so i didnt need to be so anxious#nd it was a relief bc he wasnt bad at all. he was actually rlly nice nd easy to talk to phewww#it cost abt $80 so i can manage to be without that until next week!!!!#so yeah it went much better than i had anticipated so im happy abt that#but yeah the problem still isnt 100% fixed yet so im still not relieved#he said i had a cavity in my other tooth as well but that we needed to check that at another time#im so frustrated bc i brush my teeth 2/day i use mouthwash i floss....#and for the last 7 months i havent even had any sugar!!!!! like why did this still happen.. o.o#oh nd he also said that i probably clench my teeth nd yeah i do that a lot more than i've realized#your teeth arent supposed to be touching!! never!! only when u eat#my teeth.... are touching pretty much all day omg. bc im so tense nd anxious#he said that he couldnt be sure bc he didnt have enough info to go on but that could have contributed to this#well well... i did it nd went even if i didnt want to#hopefully my tooth will be better now. nd i have another appt in may to see what i could get done further#if financial aid for it gets approved tho it might not#but yeah.. god dental pain nd issues is my no. 1 fear bc im poor nd i cant afford it
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oh ok
#succession#tomgreg#OH MY GOD THE SCENE IS THIS CLOSE AFTER?!?? i thought i had some time !!! i jqqqqqqq#man. man. mn!!!!aman!!!!man!!!!!!!!!!!!!! man.#matt johnson you would love tomgreg#what the fuck is this scene though i want to die i PHYSICally want to di e Eeeeeeeeeee#he........i .........fkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkmmmmmmmmmmmm#ok. okok. ok . novel tags ok i can think through my absolute fucking grief. ok so basically.#tom giving greg advice about prison. and then greg like basically begs to have tom take the rap for him. but not directly.#he can never say things directly. but tom translates. and it doesn't take him long to say fine. load me up. you piece of shit.#but he doesn't even mean the latter statement he's too sad. and he won't fight. the fight is all gone out of him.#so much for greg being expendable though huh?#look me in the eyes and tell me tom isn't in love with greg at least a little. yall telling me you'd take the rap for someone and go to jail#for them if you didn't love them? ok bestie you do you#i kind of like as well the comparison of the conversation between them and him and shiv like. it's very similar in that him and greg are#saying sentences that are parts of different conversations like him and shiv's convo ALTHOUGH it is still related bc it's to do with jail#she wouldn't even talk about that subject at all. and then it correlates to the whole. nero and sporus thing right. and the dressing up/ring#ALSO THE FACT HE DIDNT WANNA SLEEP WITH HER AND HES OUT LATE AT A DINER WITH GREG I GET IT G IS HIS MISTRESS#but anyway.#and the WAYYYYYYY greg's voice breaks and the way he looks at tom with pleading eyes and it looks like he's about to cry#that's what does it for tom i think. that's what breaks him. he can't bear the thought of greg suffering for months.#which makes me believe that that is why he was so sad earlier when greg was asking for advice. he doesn't like greg to suffer#by other hands of course. if it's by his hands that's another matter BUT THATS ANOTHER CAN OF WORMS#LIKE I KNOW ITS KIND OF AN ASSHOLE MOVE OF GREG BUT AT THE SAME TIME HES LIKE. idk early 20s. 26ish latest???#and i would be fucking terrified i'm 30 and i still don't know what the fuck is going on i don't know how i am still alive so i get it.#and if you have someone who has been taking care of you and has in the past flexed their power and money to give you food and parties#and move you up in a company and give you opportunities you most likely would never get. you kinda. latch. and fall into a pattern.#you assume he has a way out for you#has help. i mean greg probably assumed he wouldn't say yes in the first place so he kinda Has to be an asshole for any chance at all tbh.#he even said quid pro quo. but tom didn't even want anything in return. i mean idk what greg could even give him [lol] but still.
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old songs from unreleased albums that can only be found in two lyric videos posted ten years ago on youtube my beloved. think of the things this band could have been
#this is about slowtown by twenty one pilots and i’m not taking criticism at this time#i know regional at best is like technically released. i’m not taking criticism on that either im being dramatic#the synth break…….. god the synth…….#it’s so early 2010s glittery indie pop. how did they do that#ok ok ok#orating!#just read on their wiki that original cds of RAB sell for like $800 which you will never catch me doing#like a good self respecting 13 year old i got it from a friend who pirated it and put it on a cd for me#have we no respect for the ancient traditions
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seems like my heart does nothing but break lately
#oh my god dont read the tags. it breaks for everyone :( but on a more personal level#for my gf whos sinking deeper into something n i cant even help bc im a wreck myself but i am so so scared to lose her#still havent even been able to book a psych appointment n i rlly dont know where to go with all these ..em*tions#Guys i rlly dont understand one thing. how come one random freak whos in ur life at some point can derail a whole person like eons later#jeopardise their whole future just by crossing some lines for funz i really dont understand this#not fair not fair at all this is evil#and becasue u got unlucky someone wanted to be disgusting u have to carry the consequences#i rly still cant even say it i still cant even write it#i dont even know how . irl the only perosn i told in some capacity#is dealing with her own trauma and i hate that jsut being understanding is not enoughlike#Wow Lmao Its just Funny How it Shapes You. & U Can Never bury it forever becuz it will always catch up to you😂😂😂😂😂😂#AND THE PAST CAN NEVER BE ERASED 😃😃😁😁😂😂😂🔫🔫🔫🔫🔫🔪🔪#at least my gf has been taking steps to deal with it for.3 yrs and i just never even#LOL i feel like such a coward but the sh*me and the g**lt associated with the Thing..r so overwhelming i cant even admit it#what would i even do at the psych appointment like straight up what am i gonna say Lol#hai iam here to process something i dont actually remember probably becasue i was a child but imnot sure. n id rather#kms than tell u how i know 😂. So thats also why my heart breaks. for that little girl who was a ball of shame i guess and no matter#how much i cognitively.like rationally know its not my fault the ball of shame n guilt is still there#n it swallows me every time i vaguely start 2 think about acknowledging the Th*ng#or whatever. And thats just my end of the deal but my gf has it worse genuinely bc she remembers everything n still has to see the freak#n it went on for yrs n her family doesnt know n heres the worst thing hes a beloved family member a sweet boy with struggles of his own#well i hope he walks into traffic for doing what he did to her
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FINALLY GETTING MY T AFTER A MONTH AHHHH MY BELOVED HORMONES im literally tearing up i'm so relieved
#i was so over doing my shots before this too lmao#i will never take you for granted again testosterone enanthate my beloved.#god what a fucking mess.#it was an early refill due to the seal breaking. also my insurance changed. and my pre auth had run out in march.#and planned parenthood decided to just. not do their job for two weeks.#but im getting it TONIGHT!!!!!
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