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#geto users
luffyttaro · 1 year
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ゲゲ   📞😺     oh  geto  you're  so  fine! ☆
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namiffy · 1 year
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jujutsu kaisen users !
gojology
sixeyse
ohkkotsu
satoguru
shdwgumi
utchime
suknuas
toijiguro
nrbarasaki
zzenin
getologist
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sugurusmoon · 3 months
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Suguru’s jawline, neck, gauges, ear, hair tendrils, bangs…. Need I say more?
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sugaruapologist · 2 months
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u ever think about how angry gojo was when he saw geto kenjaku
he was so angry watching that thing parade around as his dead best friend soulmate and it was so apparent on his face
hearing his best friend's voice years after his death and realizing it's not real, it's not suguru, and hes being taunted
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there was no place in nature we could meet ; suguru geto
synopsis; it’s never fun to run into an ex. especially when the ex in question is your unfairly handsome high school sweetheart — who also just so happens to be a wanted mass murderer.
word count; 3.3k
contents; suguru geto/reader, gn!reader, geto-typical angst, exes to [redacted], lots of longing, geto is kind of a cunt but also disgustingly charming, reader is understandably upset, biblical imagery (i just think he’s so serpent coded), curse user geto is his own warning tbh
a/n; i wanted this to be a drabble so bad but it ended up just a little too long for me to get away w it so … :’3 yeah. i hate suguru geto (said w affection)
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the moon is out.
in the shadows of the street corner you find yourself in, seated comfortably on the sidewalk, it’s a welcome distraction. something to look at, in the midst of your loneliness; the evanescent glow of the moon, illuminating your solitude.
a solitude soon to be broken. shattered into pieces, battered and bruised beyond recognition, jagged shards littering the asphalt. digging into the soles of your shoes.
”hey.”
for a second, you think you must be dreaming.
the figure obscuring the light of the lamp post in front of you is familiar. too familiar, a little too dear for your liking. as you grasp your shitty cup ramen, seeking the warmth seeping through the polystyrene, all you can do is stare. blinking dumbly, drowsily.
geto looks something like a bad omen.
sharp facial features, even sharper eyes. so dark they almost shift from an amber-tainted cedar into an obsidian black — two abysses, staring into your soul, beckoning you closer. they were always enchanting, but now you think they look almost hypnotizing. not at all in a good way. dark hair frames his face, cascading down his back, longer than you remember it being. and he’s wearing robes.
still has those fucked up bangs, though. of all the things to keep.
the gears of your mind turn, endlessly, untangling the mess of thoughts inside your brain. ensuring you that no, you are not hallucinating, and no, you didn’t fall into a deep slumber somewhere between the moment you exited the convenience store and sat down by one of tokyo’s empty street corners. this is real. a reality you can’t comprehend, can’t even begin to process.
what stands in front of you is a ghost. but ghosts don’t exist, can’t be seen, can’t touch the living.
(so how is he able to haunt you like this?)
what eventually jolts you out of your silent stupor is not the questioning tilt of his head, nor the suffocating sensation of your heart crawling up your throat, but the feeling of soft fur against your leg. the stray cat you met further down the street meows at you, sweetly, trying to get your attention. you think she must be asking for more grilled fish.
so, completely ignoring the apparition in front of you, you turn to reach for the little plastic bag you bought as a midnight snack — digging out a bit of fish for the kitty to enjoy. she seems happy, settling down by your feet. purring softly.
geto watches, eerily silent. 
(maybe he’s upset that you’re ruining his dramatic entrance. you hope so.)
finally, you have no choice but to look at him. a lump forms in the back of your throat, clogging up a little more for every second spent falling into the trap he’s laid out for you, trailing over his moonlit features with your tired gaze.
mouth full of noodles, staring holes into his attire, you narrow your eyes. suddenly disgruntled.
his lips quirk up. ”something the matter?” he asks, and you can’t even begin to describe how much you hate his voice. how devastatingly deep it is, during the late hours of the night. even deeper than it was back in high school. 
slurping up the soggy noodles, you lean back a little, licking some broth off your lips. finally meeting those abyssal eyes. 
”… i was gonna say those robes look like shit on you,” you exhale, weary, ”but you actually kinda pull them off. that’s…” 
a beat. you struggle to find the right word. 
”annoying.”
geto’s lips curl up, smoothly, and you find a hint of familiar amusement in the vague crinkle of his eyes. barely visible crows’ feet. then he’s moving — plopping down right beside you, robes fluttering with the breeze.
”thanks,” he hums. crossing his legs.
the silence that festers around you is odd. not quite suffocating, nor especially fragile. definitely not comforting. it’s familiar, yet different, and it hurts a bit more than it should. but you choose to look at him, out of the corner of your eye, and he looks right back at you. still smiling. 
when your eyes settle on the particular cloth wrapped around his torso, you just barely manage to bite back a taunting chuckle.
”a gojo-kesa, huh?” you grin, and geto doesn’t flinch. he doesn’t miss the meaningful glint in your eyes, either. almost satirical. ”you miss him that much?”
”just a coincidence,” is all he answers. smiling, but you think it looks a little stiff.
your grin widens, for a second, before settling back down. a sad transition. you let it go. 
”whatever you say, geto.”
at that, he visibly reacts. barely noticeable, but it’s there — a twitch of his lithe fingers, an unknown something that flickers through the scope of his iris. when he looks at you, a neutral smile is playing at his lips. 
”ah. i take it we’re not on first name basis anymore, then?” he asks, jovial. hiding a tinge of something mildly displeased.
a shrug. you pick at what’s left of your ramen with your chopsticks, a little too nauseous to enjoy it. ”call me whatever you want. i just don’t see suguru when i look at you, y’know?” leaning forward, you begin to pet the kitty by your feet. ”he was sweeter.”
geto smiles. almost a grin, but not quite there. a chuckle spills out from his lips, and something about it irritates you. ”was he?”
”yeah,” you nod. without hesitation. a summer-stained memory blooms behind your eyelids, but you try not to look at it. all you catch is a glimpse of cherry blossoms. ”you just seem bitter.” 
the grin that finds its way onto your lips is self-deprecating. a shadow falls over your face. ”guess we’re similar in that way, huh?”
a hum buzzes in his throat. he casts a meaningful glance towards your hand, scratching behind the cat’s ear. ”oh, i don’t know about that,” he drawls, smile growing. ”.. you seem just as sweet as always.”
to your grave annoyance, you can’t control the way your face changes at his words. a twitch of your lips gives away your discontentment, and something sour settles on the tip of your tongue.
(your blood begins to boil, beneath your skin.)
geto sighs, suddenly, filling the tense silence surrounding you. a little theatrical. ”ah, but that’s a shame.” he turns to you, soft pout playing at his lips. ”i was hoping i could hear you call me suguru again…”
”— i was hoping you’d come back.”
a beat.
(somewhere outside your vision, a crow takes flight into the night sky. swallowed by the darkness, melting into the sea of black. no longer perceivable, by you or the world.)
”but you never did,” the polystyrene of the plastic cup crinkles beneath your fingers. your eyes look dull. ”so what the fuck do you want, exactly?”
”i heard.” geto rests his jaw on the heel of his palm, gazing at you with those piercing eyes. like he’s trying to see inside your brain. ”.. about your decision.”
”ah,” a grin splits across the curve of your lips, showing off the white of your teeth. ”of course. that’s what this is about, huh?”
with groggy movements, you throw away your nearly-empty cup of noodles, haphazardly aiming towards a trash can across the street. it bounces off the steel cover, landing on the ground with a soft thud. leftover broth spilling out across the pavement.
(geto doesn’t bother to hide his amusement, lips twitching upwards as one of his curses goes to pick it up. you furrow your brows in embarrassed annoyance.)
a moment passes, and something in you knows that he’s waiting. it’s like you can practically sense it, like it’s etched into your bones. the same way you always knew exactly when he would begin to get impatient during your nightly convenience store runs in high school, after you had spent about five minutes struggling to decide what kind of chips you wanted. 
”what can i say,” you lean back, palms against the rough concrete. breathing in the midnight air. ”you inspired me.”
geto tilts his head. smiling. always, always smiling. he smiled at you the day before he massacred that village, too. ”oh?”
with a deep breath, cool air courses through your body. burning your lungs. ”i realized being a sorcerer is completely fucking meaningless,” you exhale through your nose. ”and that trying to change that fact is even more meaningless.” 
a wicked, rueful grin rests on your lips. ”so i left.”
geto doesn’t say anything, so you continue. voice dripping with venom.
”i’m a civilian now,” you purr, mocking. a sardonic coo cast his way. ”does that bother you? feel like killing me?”
his smile looks a little off, now. tilted in a direction you don’t want to recognize. you don’t care to examine it further, don’t care to figure out if it might look just a little bit sad, because that’d only hurt more.
so you look away.
a click of his tongue. then he speaks, with that honeyed voice, raspy and husky. almost a groan. ”well, i can’t say i approve.”
he’s looking at you. sharp eyes digging into your skin, dissecting you, a million words he expects you to grasp from that look alone.
”you’re better than them,” he states, and you try not to squirm when his eyes trail over your features. ”worlds better.” his voice sounds almost motherly, a twisted concern that makes you cower a little. like he’s scolding you. a crease between his brows.
”i don’t like the thought of you surrounded by these animals.”
a huff pushes past your lips, but it sounds shakier than you’d like it to. you hope he just chalks it up to the chill of the air. then again, when has he ever made anything easy for you?
”what, you got a problem with cats now?” you reach for the little furball licking grilled fish off the concrete, picking it up. cradling it close. ”gonna go on a cat-killing spree?”
an amused exhale. geto narrows his eyes. ”funny,” he hums, but his eyes say you know what i mean.
it takes you a moment to regain control over your breathing. there’s still something tense in your shoulders, and your heart still feels a little like it might jump out of your throat and crawl into his lap. the stray cat slips from your grasp, moving towards geto, curiously sniffing at his robes. he looks at it with no ill intent, and it puts you at ease.
”well, i appreciate the concern, buddy,” you pat his back, trying not to flinch at the contact. trying to appear relaxed. ”but frankly, i don’t give a shit. i actually like my job, unlike literally every single sorcerer on planet earth.”
geto stills.
”.. buddy?” he echoes, ignoring every other bitter word you just graced him with. for some reason, he actually seems visibly bothered. ”i’m buddy now?”
you click your tongue. muttering, tiredly. a little exasperated. ”.. what else would you be?”
and then he smiles, again. only this time, it looks oddly genuine. the same as you remember, framed by cherry blossoms and the fizzle of youth.
his movements are smooth. like he’s completely unguarded, like this situation doesn’t bother him in the slightest. elegant, in the way he leans back, palms on the concrete to support his weight. keeping eye contact with you, all the while.
when he speaks, his voice has a sweet tinge to it. nostalgic, maybe. wistful. if you hear a touch of longing, you choose to ignore it.
”i seem to recall you calling me baby quite a lot,” he hums, and you stiffen. gritting your teeth. eyes darkening, but he continues. ”what else was there? angel, i think… it was sweet.”
then he’s leaning forward. scratching the cat under its chin, gently. ”ironic, though.”
an inhale. then, an exhale. they’re a little shaky, a little meek, but at least they make the lump in your throat feel less like it’s blocking your windpipe. air fills your lungs, but it tastes like nothing at all. 
something like sorrow simmers in your eyes. or maybe more like fatigue. god, you really want to cry.
(you wonder if he gets some sickening satisfaction out of seeing you like this, out of breaking you. maybe it just makes him feel rotten. you don’t know what you’d prefer.)
”suguru,” you murmur, at last. voice dripping with exhaustion. defeated, the sigh that flows from your lips. ”why did you come here?”
”join me.”
the words spill out into the open air, slicing the silence in half. heavy. a request, not a question. against your better judgement, you turn your head to meet his gaze.
”we could use you,” he says, and there’s hope in those keen eyes. he maintains his distance, but for some reason you still feel like prey being sized up by a predator. like he’s weighing your value.
a chuckle slips from your lips, but there’s no humour to it. ”use me…” you echo, a tired murmur under your breath. ”you're just straight up admitting it, huh? kinda refreshing.”
”that’s not what i meant.”
he inches closer. slowly, as if trying not to scare you. reaching out, to brush through your bangs, his fingertips ghosting over your skin. tangling them between your locks, inserting himself into your space. testing the waters. 
you don’t look at him, completely still. barely breathing. like a wounded animal.
”i want you there,” he says, and it comes out almost as a whisper. ”with us.”
unable to resist the temptation, you indulge in a single brief glance his way. his eyes look warm, and his lips look soft as they part.
”with me.” 
there’s a devotion to his voice when he continues, one he’s always had. one you thought you’d always be able to trust. ”i’ll create a world where you can be happy,” he vows. ”i swear it.”
a moment passes.
(you swallow thickly. it takes everything you have not to burst into tears. when you remember how he brushed you off, back then, it gets a little easier. when you remember all the skipped meals.)
”.. like you give a damn.”
geto smiles. you loathe how soft it looks, how similar it is to the one suguru always had. when you used to eat your ramen too quickly and started choking on it, and he brought a palm to your upper back, patting it gently. he’d chuckle, and tell you to slow down, and the softness of his smile would almost be enough to distract you from the amusement in his eyes. 
”my love.”
you flinch. breath drawing back at the base of your throat, heart screeching to a halt, and some part of you emerges; the shy, sweet kid you used to be. hanging on to his every world. like he was your sun, your guiding light. back when that purr of my love had you blushing furiously, not choking back a string of curses.
it’s sudden, and you can’t react the way you want to. you want to kill him for calling you that. for thinking he has any right to call you his, anymore.
but that sweet, naive, innocent little kid still exists. even if you want to pretend otherwise. it’s there, somewhere, that part of you — peeking out from behind the curtain. and it stops you from saying anything that might hurt him.
(it’s so hard to hate him when he calls you that.)
if geto notices your inner turmoil — he must — then he doesn’t mention it. you don’t say anything, but you hope the amused, harsh exhale you partake in is signal enough for him to cut it off. now.
yet he continues. there’s love in his voice when he speaks, barely contained. if he’s trying not to hurt you he’s doing an awful job.
”… i never stopped thinking of you,” he whispers, so low you almost miss it. ”not once. i left for you, not just for myself.”
and, despite every part of your being resisting it, a sweetness settles on your tongue. so sweet it’s sickening; the thought that maybe he’s telling the truth, maybe he really has been thinking of you. maybe you’re more to him than just a means to meet an end, or a memory yet to be buried.
geto looks at the moon. bathed in moonlight, he looks a little like a god. like something reverent. his voice is honeyed. low, like a secret.
”this world doesn't deserve you.”
silence.
a subtle anger trickles through your veins, a kind of fury, subdued, carefully tucked away. sparking to life inside the depths of your eyes when you look at him. bitter, given everything. but your voice still comes out sounding something like a plea.
”and you think you do?”
another smile. this time, it looks a little sad. remorseful, maybe. ”… let me prove myself.”
his touch burns. the pads of his fingers against your cold skin, cupping your cheek. slithering down to grasp your hand. and you’re pliant, unable to react. just sitting with that aching hollow feeling in your chest.
”i wasn’t worthy, back then,” he hums, bringing your hand to his lips. ”but now…”
a kiss to your knuckle. featherlight. reverent. you try not to shiver, but when he says your name, dragging each syllable out, like they belong on his tongue —
a chill runs down your spine.
when he speaks, you feel his warm breath on your skin. it’s dizzying. ”i’m not the same suguru you once knew,” he admits, a forlorn look in his eyes. and devotion, frighteningly sincere. ”unlike him — i’ll never let you go.”
what a twisted desire. he wants to take you with him, drag you down to hell. the suguru you knew wouldn’t put you through that. but maybe you’re even more twisted, for wishing he had; for wishing he had taken you with him, ten years ago, instead of leaving without a single goodbye.
geto’s voice is soft. coaxing, like he's handling a frightened mouse. join me, he whispers, and you think of eve. when you look at his mouth you think you see serpents’ teeth behind his lips.
(you're almost sure he notices it. and you're almost sure his smile widens, lips curling up, as if preparing to open his maw and swallow you whole.)
a sickening sense of resignation roots itself somewhere in your gut. 
you pull your hand away, and he lets you. the loss of warmth hits you like a freight train, but you aren’t sure you could think clearly with his skin on yours. when you part your lips to speak, only air comes out, just barely forming a sentence. like there are no more words to say. like the world stopped spinning around you both a lifetime ago.
”i don't love you.”
for just a second, his smile falters. 
”.. no?” he hums, and you wish it didn’t hurt so bad to see him hurt. his eyes carry a kind of patience, something gentle. ”it’s fine… these things take time.”
a bitter chuckle. ”like you’d know anything about waiting,” you spit, and it comes out sounding venomous. a phantom ache sprouts in the spot where his lips touched your skin.
geto closes his eyes.
”.. you don't need to love me,” he says, finally. kind. you hate that he still sounds so kind. so understanding, like nothing you do could be wrong in his eyes. ”as long as you're beside me, that's enough.” 
he turns to look at you, and his smile looks very real, for a moment. impossibly fond. ”i have two daughters. i’ve told them about you,” he smiles. ”my family… you’d like them. i know they’d like you.”
dark clouds cover the moon, suddenly, and a shadow falls across you both. illuminated only by the streetlight. in the distance, you hear a car whooshing by.
”don’t stay at the bottom,” he beckons, and your name slips from his lips again. soft, his tongue bending around the vowels. coaxing. stirring your heartstrings like a puppeteer.
then he’s standing up, dusting off his robes, large hands smoothing down the fabric. turning around, towering over you; obscuring everything else. all you see is him, under the glow of the lamp post. a halo of artificial light.
”come. let me show you the world we can create.”
he gives you a sweet smile, two abysses gazing at you. the promise of something, something twisted. something new. forbidden. you think of red skin, yellow flesh. the bite of sin.
and for a second, you see it. the world. a world where laughter comes from the bottom of your gut, and the trees are always ripe for picking, red apples hanging from the branches like glowing rubies. 
paradise.
geto stretches a hand out towards you. fingers unfurling, one by one, like a blooming camellia. close, right there in front of you, so close that you’re tempted to take his hand in yours, let him carry you away. burn everything else to the ground. 
(you think of the serpent. you think of god.
only one of them banished eve.)
”so,” he smiles. ”what do you say?”
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thundersbugs · 1 month
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pocket sized murder bfs <3
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+ no blood version under the cut :)
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where you go, i go (2)
TEEN!gojo x FEM!reader (soulmate AU)
TW⚠️: angst, toji being toji, reader thinks about killing someone, gojo is in his tweaked out enlightenment era soooooo gojo a little creepy and eerie
Part 2 of what you see, i see
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She had been going through the motions for the rest of the day, she hadn't even bothered to stop by her school clubs, until she arrived home. A sickly sweet scent of pastries attacked her senses the second she entered. Her house doubled as a bakery for the first floor. It was a popular hang out place for people her age especially for couples. There was a parade of them this time - cheerful couples were already sharing their coffees and sugary pastries.
The universe was laughing at her. It had to be. Why else would there be so many happy couples in the store right now? It was pointing and laughing hysterically on the ground saying: "That's what you get for ignoring me! That's what you get for resenting my gift to you!" Because that's what a soulmate was, a gift. A rare and wonderful gift that no one believed in, except for those who have experienced it themselves, and she had lost it; lost him.
She almost cried on the spot.
Her mother waved gleefully from behind the register, her daughter seldom returned it as she went up the stairs. She dropped her school bag in her room besides her desk and, face first, flopped on her bed.
She closed her eyes. Nothing, there was nothing.
Her lip quivered as tears began to sting her eyes, but she couldn't cry. Not when her mother was expecting her to change and put on an apron and help as she always did after school. She could silently mourn him tonight.
She let out a shaky breath. Did she even have the right to mourn him? She had never met him or talked to him. Everytime she thought of him recently was only to insult him or dismiss him entirely. No, she did not have the right to mourn him and she deserved to feel empty on the inside.
She put on a clean apron and slugged her way down stairs with a smile as she took over her mother's place at the register. Her mom kissed the top of her head and beamed at her with a thumbs up.
She never understood why so many people hated working retail, but now, she did. She had to force a smile and treat every customer kindly, all the while, she was dying on the inside.
A man had come in. Tall and insanely buff, a scar on his mouth. He ordered the cheapest pastry on the menu and handed her a wadded up yen. Her blood turned cold when their fingers brushed.
Her mother quickly took the money away from her as she gave her a quick command to check on the oven in the back.
She swallowed and listened to her mom. Her steps were quick as she pushed the double doors that led to the kitchen, she hugged herself.
It was him. It had to be him. That was the man who killed Gojo Satoru. She reached for a knife and gripped it tight. She should kill him. Her soulmate was dead and he was the reason why. She should try and avenge him.
Sheshouldsheshouldsheshouldsheshould-
The oven blared next to her. Her head snapped to it as the knife clattered on the ground, and with shaky mitted hands she opened the oven, and took out the fresh pastries.
Those were dangerous thoughts; thoughts she never thought she would ever have against anyone. She took off the oven mitts and looked outside the circle window of the kitchen - he was leaving and her mother was watching him like a hawk, even when the bell rang sharply with a muffin in his mouth as he walked outside with the rest of the crowd. She didn't know what possessed her to run after him, but she did. Maybe, all she wanted to know was why he had killed Gojo Satoru. Maybe, she wanted this man to kill her too, so she wouldn't feel empty inside anymore.
A blur of a conversation as the words tumbled out of her mouth: "Why? Why did you kill Satoru?"
She didn't register anything other than his gruff voice, "Ah, he had a soulmate. If I were you I'd keep that information to yourself from now on." Uninterestedly, he continued, "You wouldn't want the Gojo clan to know about you. No doubt, they'll try to marry you off to another member of the clan." and then, kept walking.
She didn't hear the interest in his voice when he said to himself, "But she would be worth a lot of money if I did take her to them." He would negotiate a price first to see if he was right about her being worth any money. He would worry about that later, right now, he had a star plasma vessel to turn in.
A sharp tug on her arm is all that stopped her from running after him again.
"______! What were you thinking?" her mother gritted out as she led her back into the bakery. Her mother's voice is strict and unwavering, "Go to your room."
And she did.
She tossed the apron on her desk and kicked her school bag. How was she supposed to live like this with the rest of her entire life half-full?
A sob violently escaped her.
This was how everyone else in the world lived, she realized.
Aching and alone.
Desperate and searching.
Wanted and unwanted.
Now, she was just like everyone else like she had always wanted. She supposed, she couldn't complain.
She laid in bed, wrapped herself in a blanket - trying to keep warm, but she doubted, she'd ever feel warm again as she cried herself to sleep.
She dreamt about Satoru. Flashes of a long chain, of red, of purple, of blood, of a crowd clapping, of someone wrapped in a white sheet, of a long dark hallway.
The universe was laughing at her again. Why else would it give her dreams about him?
An uneasiness settled into her bones. Someone was watching her. The grim reaper, no doubt wearing the face of her soulmate's assassin. If death wanted her, so be it.
She kept her eyes closed.
She saw herself sleeping soundly in death's gaze. She saw the time pass through her window changing from sundown to night as death continued to watch her intently.
Hours had passed.
00:57:39
She wondered at what specific time the grim reaper would take her.
1:13:01
Did it want her to open her eyes?
1:13:10
Probably.
1:13:15
The grim reaper has been patiently waiting for her.
1:13:17
Why keep death waiting then?
1:13:20
Her eyes fluttered open.
Beautiful, vibrant cerulean blue.
It was not death. It was -
"Satoru," she whispered.
"______," he whispered back.
Satoru was sitting down on the floor extremely close to her bed with his legs crossed while his hands rested neatly on his ankles. There was dry blood on his face and on his white dress shirt.
Her mouth moved but no sound came.
"You were crying," he said as he caressed her cheek soothing his thumb along the trail of stained lines that her dried tears had left, "alot."
So, he had seen everything.
She put her hand over his and gently rubbed circles.
Satoru scooted closer to her bed, "I didn't like seeing you cry," his hand trailed up to her scalp, "or frown," and gently ran his fingers through her hair.
He laid his head down on her bed and stared at her with those vibrant, sparkling eyes; eyes that could see everything she could never see.
She touched his cheek gently, "I didn't like not feeling you."
Her whole body shivered. Satoru was here, in front of her, and she was still cold.
"Are you still cold?"
She nodded.
Never letting go of her, he kicked off his shoes and climbed under the blanket with her. He wrapped his legs around hers as her arms wrapped under his uniform jacket.
With his hand still tangled in her hair, he said, "Better?"
His heartbeat had returned to her. They were beating in unison again.
"Better," she hummed. "You?" She asked.
His lips pressed softly on her forehead, "Much better." He tugged her in closer into his chest.
She smiled.
She was warm again.
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@whatamidoing89 @mr-underhills-things
Part 1: what you see, i see
Part 3: you know i adore you
Part 4: i'm crazier for you
Part 5: baby, you're the life of the party
Part 6: something's made your eyes go cold
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mishanks · 3 months
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내 플라토닉 사랑 !! in yuucore era 🦔 @tojismo
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abiding-artist · 8 months
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Ughhh this show is so cool with really interesting character designs!
-
I really went out of my comfort zone making this piece and I’m so happy I did! Learned new techniques and how to do certain things to give variety! I also really enjoy drawing hair.
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honeytrap26 · 4 months
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Quickie
Suguru Geto x Reader
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summary: Geto can’t help but stare at you wearing you tight skirt. cw: !!MDNI!!, fem!reader, dirty talk, fingering, blowjob, semi-public?? aunote: first time writing smut, hope it was okay. Enjoy and happy reading! 🐼🖤 Okay,this damn (sotry os) 💀🤣 cursed. First I deleted it, then I didn't post the full story. I'm a mess. Blame it on Kenjaku. wc:3k+ (proofread but if there are any major mistakes, please let me know,Kenjaku did it.) summary: Geto can’t help but stare at you wearing you tight skirt. cw: !!MDNI!!, fem!reader, dirty talk, fingering, blowjob, semi-public?? aunote: first time writing smut, hope it was okay. Enjoy and happy reading! 🐼🖤 Okay,this damn (sotry os) 💀🤣 cursed. First I deleted it, then I didn't post the full story. I'm a mess. Blame it on Kenjaku. wc:3k+ (proofread but if there are any major mistakes, please let me know,Kenjaku did it.)
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“Sorry darling.” Suguru hurriedly walks into the kitchen. “I forgot that the football game was tonight, I've been so busy with work. Gojo texted me on my way home.” he places his briefcase on the couch. He loosens his tie and takes it off, throwing it on top of his briefcase.
“Sorry darling.” He leans down to place a kiss on your forehead, his hand is on the small of your back.
“It’s okay hun.” you smile, grabbing the dip out of the oven, setting it on the kitchen counter and grab a bag of chips out of the pantry.
He takes a step back to look at you, his mouth is agape seeing what you're wearing, you were wearing a beige cut-out mock neck t-shirt. The shirt hugged your perky breasts perfectly, just a kiss of your cleavage peeking through the cut out. His eyes scanned down your body, you had on a form fitting black leather skirt with a slit.
He places his hands on your hands, giving them a gentle squeeze, “You look so sexy today.” he kisses your cheek, he can smell your perfume.
“Thank you, I was supposed to go to a meeting today but they canceled and moved it to next week.” you say, you lean down to place a plate into the dishwasher your ass pushes against Geto’s growing erection. His hands grip your waist for a split second, he releases it as you stand up again.
“Darling,” his voice is low and seductive in your ear. He pulls you in closer. “You look so sexy.”
You chuckle, smiling to yourself. He turns you around so you’re now looking at him. Your arms wrap around his neck, you lean up to kiss his lips a few times there’s a brief pause before his lips crash onto your again, he picks you up placing you on the countertop. Your hands make their way to his shirt unbuttoning it and untucking it from his slacks. You run your hands up and down his body.
 “I wanna fuck you right now. Bend you over the counter and fuck you from behind.” he says in between kisses.
Your make-out session gets hotter and heavier, your tongues exploring each other's mouths. His hands make their way up to your breasts and he firmly grabs them eliciting a moan from you. 
“Sugu-” he pulls your shirt and bra down revealing your boobs, he leans down, sucking a nipple while rolling the other one in between his fingers. 
“Sugu..please.” your head is tilted back as you arch your back from the pleasure.  “I need you.” you whine.
“Come here baby.” he smirks, he begins to unbuckle his belt when the doorbell rings followed by a couple of knocks. Getos hands cup your slit, realizing that you’re just wearing a lace thong. He growls, his hand cupping your face more aggressively now, he kisses you again biting your lower lip, “I’m going to fuck you so hard tonight baby.” his kisses trail down to your neck to your breasts, he gives them one more kiss before he pulls away.
The doorbell rings again. Geto grunts, you can hear the displeasure in his voice. He helps you get off the table and you two fix your clothes, you run to the bathroom to touch up on your makeup, more like wipe away the red stains from your lipstick, that's smeared all over your breasts and face.
“Hey guys, what’s up?”, he greets Gojo and the gang. 
They walk in with alcohol and food. Haibara asks where you want to put the dish he and his girlfriend made. She gives you a hug and you girls talk briefly about how your days went.  
“There’s my best friend!” Gojo walks up to you with open arms, he gives you a big bear hug, shaking you from side to side before he lets you go.
“Hey Satoru.” you giggle, fixing your hair.
“I want you to meet my girlfriend.” He pulls a beautiful tall girl to his side. She’s wearing a crop top with a deep v cut that shows off her well-endowed breasts. She has on a tiny mini skirt, that you could swear if she bent over, you could see her entire ass.
“Oh, nice.” you and Suguru make eye contact from across the room. He’s talking to Ino but he looks over and gives you a, be nice look. 
Satoru was a beautiful man and he knew it, but he wasn’t the best at picking girls. Their intentions were never good, one of them dated Satoru just to get to Suguru. This broke his heart and you were there consoling him for a week while Suguru was gone for a work trip. That became a routine for you and Satoru, he would come over talking about how he met this beautiful girl and they are going to get married just for him in that same week to come over and cry about how she left him for someone richer, older, better. That is how you replaced Suguru and became Satoru’s best friend.
 “I’m so happy for you both!” you, hug his girlfriend “How long have you been dating?” you look at them both. 
“It's been a month; we’re having our one-month anniversary next week.” She beams excitedly, and kisses Gojo, you see their tongues entwining, Gojo smacks her ass, a whine escapes from her lips. He whispers “ meet me in the bathroom”
 “O-oh okay...That’s..great.” your lips purse together and you nod slowly, looking anywhere but at them.
 Suguru clears his throat, seeing how uncomfortable you are. He walks over and nudges you towards Haibara and his girlfriend who are settling in. 
“How about you show Haibara and his lady around? They haven’t been here since we moved in.” he leans down to kiss your cheek. 
You take Haibara and his girlfriend around the house showing them the house. The doorbell rings and it's Nanami, he was working overtime. You all greet him and he apologizes for being late, he holds up a bag of all of your favorite snacks.
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“Nice! We got a touchdown!” Gojo cheered, his girl sitting on his lap.
“Yes!” Haibara yells, giving Nanami a high-five.
“We’re gonna win, I can feel it.” Haibara said excitedly.
“Don’t think so.” Suguru says from the kitchen, throwing a rag over his shoulder. “They always lose. They’ll fumble the ball.” 
You and Geto are in the kitchen cleaning up some dishes from dinner, you bend down to grab some plates from the dishwasher,
“You're gonna get it later tonight if you continue to bend over like that in front of me.” he whispers in your ear, his hand slips underneath your skirt then he reaches above you to put a baking dish away on the top shelf.
“No, you won’t. You’ll be too tired, like you always are.” you gently push him away and continue putting the dishes away.
“Let’s make a bet.” he folds the rest of the dish rags, holding the stack out to you.
“Okay.” you nod and grab the stack putting them in a drawer next to the sink. 
Suguru walks behind you slightly pushing you against the kitchen sink, his mouth hovering over your neck. 
“If the team wins tonight, you get to do whatever you want to me.” he kisses your neck, he takes your hand and places it on his semi hard erection.
You drop the towel, feeling his erection, you bend over to pick up and feel a hand cup your bare ass giving it a squeeze, you let out a small yelp and turn around to see Suguru smirking. 
“Everything okay?” Haibara’s girlfriend asks, she walks over to throw away her plate in the trash.
 “She just dropped a towel. You know how clumsy she is.” he says, his hand still on your bare ass, you can feel his finger toying with your slit, he spreads your lips and feels how wet you are. You’re glad that the countertop covers enough of your bodies that she doesn’t see what’s going on.
His fingers find your clit, circling around it. He stares at you with a big smile on his face, you bite your lip trying to not make a sound, if the TV wasn’t on so loud he bets that they could probably hear how wet you are for him.
“Do you need help cleaning up?” she says, she leans against the counter, finishing her drink.
“N-no, everything's d-done.” you stutter out, his fingers still rubbing circles around your clit.
“Are you sure? I feel bad, we’re always at your place for game nights.” she says, she walks back to the trash to throw her empty can away.
“It’s not a problem at all, we don't mind, we love having friends over. Don’t we, darling.” Geto smiles at you, two of his fingers slip into your hole, making you gasp and moan softly. 
“Mhmm” you say but it was more of a moan.
He sees her walk over to the trash can again, his motions get faster as his fingers pump into you faster. You moan a little louder now not expecting him to do that, luckily the team scored a touchdown so your moan was drowned out by the boys screaming.  You grab his arm to make him stop but he continues to finger you. His eyes flicker from you to her and suddenly he pulls out his fingers from under your skirt. You're halfway slumped over the counter trying to steady your breathing.
“You okay wifey? Your face is all flushed.” she laughs, “are you a little tipsy? I’m not going to lie, I may be just a teeny tiny bit drunk.” she giggles and grabs another can from the refrigerator.
“I’m fine, I-” you look up at Geto, your eyes widen as you see him lick his two fingers, his eyes darken as he sees the blush appear on your face.
“I think she’s just a little hot. Why don’t you go change darling?” he lets out an amused huff.
“Yeah you should! You look so hot by the way. If I were a guy I would totally wanna do you.” she chortles. “You better take good care of her.” she waves a finger at Geto and walks back to the living room, plopping a seat next to Haibara.
“Oh I’ll make sure to take real good care of her.” he huffed a laugh, his hand making its way back to your ass, you can feel him lift the edge of your skirt.
“You’re right, I should go change, I’ll be right back.” you say, rushing out of the kitchen and going upstairs.
“It’s half time now. Hurry everyone take a shit now, we can’t miss it. Our team is gonna win!” Gojo gets up and jogs to the bathroom. 
“Mind if I use the one upstairs?” Haibara asks Geto. 
“No problem, I’ll show ya.” Geto leads Haibara upstairs, “Perfect” he thinks to himself.
You start to take off your jewelry, putting them back in your jewelry box when you hear the door to the master bedroom open and close. You hear the rustling of clothes.
“Hey girl, I have some sweats here for you.” you say,
“Thanks, but I don’t think I’ll be needing those.” Geto walks in shirtless, his one hand skillfully unbuckles his belt and unzips his pants. He lets them drop to the floor. His erection is forming a tent in his briefs.
“We can’t,” you step back but Geto strides over to you caging your body against the counter. You feel his erection pressing into you.
“I wanna fuck you so bad” his hand slips underneath your shirt.
“But they'll hear us and they’ll know if we’re gone for too long.” you protest, you feel his hand unclasp your bra freeing your breasts, he immediately begins to massaging them through your shirt. “Just a quickie. Please baby, I won’t be able to focus on the game with a hard on.” he kisses your forehead.
“Fine” you say, Geto grins as he bends you over the bathroom counter. “But you better not rip-” you're cut off by the sound of Geto ripping your leather skirt.  “Seriously! I just bought a new one.” you moan out the last word. 
He’s on his knees, his hands slide up the back of your calves, up to your thighs, he gives your ass a hard smack, earning a pleasurable moan from you. His thumbs grip your cheeks spreading them apart before his tongue dives into your wet mound.
“Mmm Sugu.” you push back against his face, he pulls his face away. 
You whine out, “More”
“What do you want more darling.” He places small kisses on your cheeks.
“More of you,” you whine, your head resting on the counter.
“More of this.” he slaps your ass before he slips his fingers in your slit. “Or more of this.” he grabs your cheeks spreading them again before he dices back in, his tongue flutters against your clit making you sway your hips left and right, you feel him lick every inch of your wetness. You can’t say anything, you just nod your head, you could feel the waves of pleasure flowing through your body, you couldn’t hold back anymore, you come all over his face and mouth.
“That’s a good girl.” he says, getting up and wiping his face that is covered in your juice. His fingers find your clit again, rubbing it, his other hand pulls down his briefs and strokes his cock a few times, slapping it on your ass before he says “Suck.”
You get on your knees, you take his cock in your hand and stroke it, your thumb circles around the tip, making him groan. You lick from the base of the shaft to the tip, your tongue twirls around his sensitive spot making his hips twitch.
“Fuck baby. That feels so good.” he groans, his mouth is agape and his eyes are closed.
 Your head bobs as you continue to suck his big hard cock. He grabs your hair pulling it into a loose ponytail before he starts to thrust into your face. Your moans are garbled by his big cock, drool dripping down your chin.
There’s a small knock before the bedroom door opens, without missing a beat Geto’s arms swings over and closes the bathroom door, resulting in a slam.
“Oh! I’m so sorry! Were you changing?” It was Haibara's girlfriend.
“Not a problem at all.” Geto clenches his teeth as he continues to fuck your face.
“So sorry, I came in to grab some sweats if that’s alright.” her voice is closer to the bathroom door now.
“T-that’s fine.” he grunts out the last word, he looks down, seeing you massage your boobs, pinching and pulling your nipples, your shirt pulled down.  He throws his back in pleasure, he can feel his own pleasure nearing. “You naughty girl, playing with your tits just the way I like it."
“Oh yeah, where did my wifey go?” she asks, you hear the sound of the drawers opening and closing.
 Geto grumbles a fuck off under his breath, “She’s in here but her mouth is full at the moment.” Getos eyes roll back as he feels your tongue hit that sensitive spot again. His hips twitch, his thrust becomes messy, he pulls out of your mouth before he cums, he slaps your face with his cock a couple of times. Geto grabs your arm and pushes your body against the bathroom door, making a thud.
He whispers in your ear, “Talk to her.” you shake your head in protest but he slaps your ass, the sound echoes through the bathroom.
“Sounds like you’re also a little drunk, Geto.” she giggles, “Can you ask my wifey where her sweats are, I think she rearranged her clothes. I can’t find them” you can hear the pout in her voice.
“Where did you put your sweats, wifey?” Geto says with a devilish smile on his face, he leans down whispering in your ear. “You better say something if you don’t want your friend to find out that you’re getting fucked like a dirty fucking slut in the bathroom.” his cock slides in and out of you slowly,
“T-there at the bottom of the- oh fuck” you gasp when you feel him snap his hips, his cock hitting your cervix, your legs automatically close together making your cunt grip tighter around his cock, his lips are pressed against your neck as he breathes heavily.
“You good wifey?” she calls out,
“Yep, I’m fine just hit my finger on the counter.” you place your hand on the door to steady yourself, he pulls out, you can hear him panting, he was close to cumming.
“Where was it again-Oh just kidding I found it! I’ll see you downstairs.” She says, you can hear her feet shuffle towards the door. “Almost forgot. Wifey, can I get some makeup wipes? I have a feeling we’re gonna be spendin the night here. I’m drunk and I think Haibara is too.” she giggles to herself.
Geto shuffles through the drawer and grabs you the pack of makeup wipes, you fix your shirt, covering your boobs you crack the door open, your upper body and head peeking through.
“Here ya go babe.” you smile at her,
“Thanks babe, but I just need one,” she says.
“It’s fine, maybe Torus girl will need some too.” you nudge the wipe at her.
“Speaking of which, what do you think about her?” she leans in closer to you.
You can hear Geto sigh in frustration behind you. You look back at him, you bite your lips wiggling your ass before looking back at her.
“I think she’s okay, guess we’ll see how…ummm.” you swallow and take a deep breath. Geto slides back into you again bottoming out, his hands gripping your waist hard.
“She’s okay, guess we’ll have to see how long they can last.” you say, your boobs bounce with each thrust, you were glad that she was drunk enough to not pick up on the hints that you were being fucked by Geto while having a conversation with her. You string along a couple of mhmm’s and I know before you cut her off.
“Hey wifey, I’ll talk to you some more downstairs, I need to help Sugu take care of some stuff. I’ll be right down. Okay?” you smile and shut the door after watching her leave.
“You were so close to coming baby.” he chortled.
You grab Geto’s hips pulling him in, signaling that you want more of him. He smiles to himself and shakes his head. He pulls your hair into a ponytail like before and begins thrusting into you faster now, you can clearly hear the sounds of your wet skin slapping against each other.  He releases your hair, his hands pull down your shirt, cupping your breasts feeling the way they bounce with each of his thrusts. Your eyes roll back, your mouth is wide open now, your fingers are rubbing your clit.
“I’m c-close.” you whisper to Geto, he grunts, his hand replaces yours as he rubs your clit feeling your went cunt tighten around his cock. 
“Fuck baby I’m cumming.” he growls.
Both of you hit your climax, your bodies writhe with ecstasy and pure pleasure. You feel his cock twitching inside of you as he pumps his load deep into you. Your cunt tightens around him, he can feel it pulsing around his cock.
His face is buried in your hair, you both take a moment to gather yourselves before he turns you around and kisses you passionately. 
“I love you.” he kisses your lips again.
“I love you too.” you kiss him back.
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Extra Trimmings!!
You and Geto make your way back downstairs, you insist that he goes first so it’s not suspicious but he says that you were gone for twenty minutes and they already knew what that meant.
“Hey wifey! I missed you!” Haibara’s girlfriend sees you, she moves away from Haibara and cuddles up with you. You laugh at his reaction to his girlfriend moving away from him.
“Took ya long enough.” Gojo opens a bottle of beer and hands it over to Geto before opening himself one.
“Was takin care of some business.” Geto shrugs and drinks his beer.
“Right.” Gojo shakes his head. 
“Oh, come on, you did too. I just lasted longer.” Geto chuckles.
“Careful, I’m with her most days.” Gojo smirks as he takes a bite of his pizza. “Let’s fuckin go!! We won!!” Gojo jumps up and cheers, he runs to you and picks you up, twirling you around. “Told you my team was gonna win, munchkin.”
“Toru stop! What the heck are you doing?!” you smack his shoulder playfully.
Geto sits there in disbelief.
“Fuck no, not nicknames.”
224 notes · View notes
luffyttaro · 2 years
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︶֪︶︶֪︶︶︶֪︶︶֪︶︶ིྀ︶︶֪︶︶︶֪︶︶֪︶︶֪︶
﹫ichocats ﹫cho2so ﹫ipetchoso
﹫getours ﹫itsugyru ﹫sexgetos
︶֪︶︶֪︶︶︶֪︶︶֪︶︶ིྀ︶︶֪︶︶︶֪︶︶֪︶︶֪︶
317 notes · View notes
mis8to · 9 months
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☆ Riko-chan layouts !
Fav or reblog if u save.
201 notes · View notes
sugaruapologist · 2 months
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im jus thinking about suguru getting gray hairs...
like you're aging together, reaching middle aged years and it doesn't hardly show in his face. but you regularly brush his hair for him, and its a bonding time for you two, it helps you two relax at the end of the day. you notice the streams of gray throughout his long hair, and its so beautiful.
tldr; salt and pepper haired suguru makes my heart flutter
156 notes · View notes
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i love you, i love you (kill me in the morning) ; suguru geto
synopsis; everyone has a weakness. some are harder to get rid of. (or, alternatively; suguru geto befriends a non-sorcerer as a child.)
word count; 10.0k
contents; suguru geto/reader (not explicitly romantic but the subtext is there), gn!reader, geto-typical angst, childhood friends to [redacted], mild gore, suguru geto’s defection but with added angst, twisted depictions of love, depictions of stalking, depictions of death/murder, general bloodlust (geto wants to kill u soo bad but also not really), unresolved yearning, hurt/no comfort, curse user geto is his own warning tbh
a/n; ok so. this is kind of a mess. just my own take on geto’s childhood and defection + how i think he’d deal with a non-sorcerer reader after defecting……. so it turned out kinda. Dark. it’s entirely sfw to be clear!!! just sorta twisted. in conclusion i love my cult leader wife who wants me dead <3 (pls listen to ’kill me’ by indigo de souza it is SO geto)
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suguru geto meets you in the afterglow of sunset, by a dusty summer creek.
it’s his special place, hidden in the outskirts of your tiny town; a place where the water glimmers with silver-hued fish, and all the biggest cicadas reside, singing softly and waiting to be caught.
a place where he can be himself. alone, with no one to curse him.
— except, this time, he isn’t alone.
your crying face is the first thing he sees. big, wet tears, cascading down your scrunched-up face, accompanied by little sniffles as you sit there. curled up into a ball, knees against your heaving chest.
the next thing he sees is the bruise on your leg. a scrape on your knee, gritty and a little bloody, but it’s not so awful. he can tell that it hurts, though — you bite your lip to stop yourself from trembling, like you’re trying to be brave. but you look pained. 
and it sends a tremor running through his very soul.
suguru was born with a bleeding heart, an empathy unusually developed for his age. always pushing him forward, coaxing him into taking action; this nagging desire to protect, to nurture. born with an inability to avert his gaze from the suffering of others.
so when the two of you lock eyes, he manages a smile. warm and soothing, even though deep down he’s alarmed. but he masks it, slathers over it with something kind, something comforting — and he can tell that it works, from the way your teary eyes seem to soften in the buttery hue of the afternoon glow.
you’re crying. and suguru finds himself wanting to wipe those tears away, more than anything. you look small, and you’re in pain.
(protect the weak, urges some voice in the back of his mind. insatiable. protect those who can’t protect themselves.)
he asks for your name, all while cleaning your wound. the wince that slips from your lips when the cold water of the creek licks at your knee makes his heart clench.
but you tell him. you tell him your name, as the sun sets in the horizon, and he tells you his. 
suguru. a sweet kid who sees you fall and patches you up. a cool kid who teases you a little for being so clumsy. who holds your hand tightly in his own, to make sure you won’t fall again.
the sun melts away beyond the cluster of trees that surround you, its burning glow breaking through the gaps between the branches and dyeing the summer creek a deep red. illuminating your blurry silhouettes, as you walk back home. hand in hand.
and that’s how it begins.
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the two of you grow closer, in the same way flowers who share a stem learn to lean on each other, grow in the same direction, a mess of mingled roots. a natural connection, blooming out of nothing more than a sweet coincidence — that kind of blissful, innocent childhood friendship. the kind you never have to question.
you learn very quickly that suguru isn’t like the rest. that when compared to all the other kids you know, he’s mature, almost mystical, like he knows something they don’t.
you learn that there’s a gentleness to him, one he could never fully hide. one that shines through when he looks at you, when you play and laugh to fill the silence of the hills overlooking the small town you both live in.
you also learn that he can see ghosts.
curses, you’ll both come to learn, but that’s later. for a child in a remote town, isolated and alone, the familiarity of the ghost stories that adults tell you is the only kind of comfort suguru has to cling to. something lighthearted, to explain the predicament that haunts him — the flickers of black in his vision, that lingering taste of charcoal on his tongue.
suguru is different, you realize, different from the rest. and you eventually learn, from him, that you are far from alone in that belief.
in the town you both had the misfortune of being born into, suguru is the black sheep. his parents think there’s something wrong with him. the other kids think there’s something wrong with him. he isn’t right in the head, they whisper, he sees things that aren’t there.
(it’s a debilitating isolation that never truly leaves him.)
so suguru learns to stay silent, learns to keep his pretty little mouth shut, learns to lie. it’s easier that way. easier to survive, in the remoteness of your tiny town, with all the adults who scorn him and look at him like he doesn’t belong anywhere at all.
and suguru learns to be content, in that solitude. that heaven-granted isolation. a lone white chrysanthemum, in a sea of red and lavender; blossoming alone.
but then suguru meets you.
and, contrary to everyone else, you don’t think there’s anything wrong with him. when you tell him that he’s different from the rest, you mean it in the best possible way. you say it with starlight in your eyes, gleeful, giddy. like he’s special, not broken. like you’re also tired of those other kids, those sneering adults, the silence of a town so isolated it could crush a child’s heart.
like you have something in common. like you’re the same.
and you stay by his side. throughout the most difficult years of his early life, when he’s still growing accustomed to the duty he’ll have to bear for the rest of his life, you’re there. every single day. to smile at him, to speak to him like you’re both just normal kids — even though suguru is well aware that he’s anything but normal.
(when he’s with you, he feels like it, though. feels like he’s just a normal boy, like there isn’t something glued down wrong inside his brain. something twisted, something that needs to be plucked out.)
suguru finds comfort in you. in your presence, in the notes you pass him when classes get boring, in the way you cling to his sleeve while exploring the woods during recess. in the way you grin so brightly after managing to catch a firefly in the darkness of the summer night, all proud and toothy, a childlike innocence he wishes he still had.
you’re sweet, and understanding, and suguru thinks you might be the coolest person he knows. you’re his friend, his very best friend, his one and only.
and when he tells you what’s wrong with him — when he tells you what he can see — you ask him something that will forever rest in his subconscious. a flicker of precious, fleeting, genuine acceptance, one he won’t ever feel again. not until he meets a certain boy with blue eyes, but that comes later.
(a memory he’ll return to, over and over again. even after all the evil in the world has already descended upon him like a crackling hurricane.)
what do they look like?
there is no judgement in your voice, in the way the question slips from your lips. no mocking laughter, no silent rejection or whisper of crazy, evil, wrong. there’s only you, the way you’ve always been, curious and understanding and wise beyond your years.
suguru decides, right then and there, that he’ll protect you forever. no matter what.
you can’t see curses. you aren’t like him, in that regard, and he learns that quickly. and as suguru grows up, grows a little taller, a little wiser, he is glad that it’s true. he’s glad, because he already knows what kind of road lies ahead of him.
he already knows what kind of world you both live in, how unforgiving it can be. how many people die every day, every second, because of monsters only a select few can even see. he already knows that curses aren’t the eccentric, silly ghosts you were hoping for when you were kids — but pure, unadulterated evil.
(he already knows what they taste like.)
and suguru takes careful measures, day by day, to keep you away from it. as much as he can without lying outright. you’re curious, by nature, almost fascinated by curses and sorcery and everything you do not understand. an endearing trait, though it exasperates him to no end.
someone like you has no business sticking their nose into that kind of cruelty, he thinks, that kind of bloodshed.
and you’ve always been clumsy, a little scatterbrained. enough to make him worry instinctively when you’re out of his sight. like when you tripped and scraped your knee, by that tiny summer creek, all because you wanted to catch a dragonfly.
so he tries his best to keep you away from it, all of it, away from a darkness he knows would swallow you whole. away from the small, weak curses that sometimes litter the woods or the schoolyard; away from his cursed technique, the disgust of a power he never once asked for. 
(he never lets you see him swallow those things, never lets you witness the way he throws them right back up again before it happens so many times that he grows used to the disgust. you’re sharp, though, and he can’t hide the grimace that always lingers on his features.
you don’t ask — you only give him a packet of gum, to chew away the taste with, and suguru thinks to himself that he’ll love you forever.)
time passes by, slowly but surely, and the two of you stick together.
and as he grows into his teenage years, so much weight already resting on his tiny shoulders, suguru has already developed some sense of it all. of his ability, of the world of sorcerers. he’s already spoken to people like him, has already been made well aware of his potential. 
he’s already been given a choice, a choice that was never really a choice at all, but he decides that it doesn’t matter.
suguru decides to become a sorcerer. to train his abilities, to hone his skills. to eventually move away, from the stifling silence of that town, the silence that was only ever filled by you.
and suguru thinks to himself that he’s doing this for you. that in doing this, in being this, he’ll fulfill his promise to protect you.
(forever. no matter what. he echoes the words in his mind like a prayer.)
suguru wants to protect those who cannot protect themselves. those who are weak, those who are alone, people he has the power to help.
but more than anything, above all else, suguru wants to protect you. 
you are the most precious thing in his life. and if he can turn the world a little brighter for you, just a little bit kinder, then isn’t that enough? isn’t there enough meaning in that to give him the strength he needs?
there is. suguru decides that there is.
so when he tells you about his plans, under a pleasant, ephemeral starry sky, he does so with conviction. he knows that you will understand, because he knows you. you’re his best friend.
and he’s right. you do understand. you’re proud of him, and he’s your best friend, too.
i’ll support you, no matter what. 
the instantaneous answer makes suguru smile. not the kind of smile he plasters on to appease the adults around him, nor the smile he wears when he needs to lie convincingly. a full, genuine smile, that reaches his eyes and blossoms like a flower in the light of the moon; a warm, gentle smile, one you’ll always, always associate with him. 
(forever and ever. no matter what.)
and when suguru eventually has to leave, for a high school he’ll spend the next few years of his life living at, he carries that conviction with him. his choice is steadfast, unyielding, inevitable. the only one that matters.
the whistling of the wind breaches his ears, as you both stand on the platform and wait for his train to arrive. a spring breeze caresses your skin, and suguru’s bangs flutter in the wind. sunlight scatters across the train tracks and seagulls cry out in the distance, and the acute sensation of a parting lies heavy in the air.
it’s embarrassing. it’s childish. suguru wants to claim that he isn’t a child, anymore; that he wouldn’t give in to hesitation, at the sight of your meek expression. that he wouldn’t cry, at the thought of moving away from his best friend.
but the slight puffiness under his eyes is evidence enough. evidence of the tears he shed last night, when the reality of the situation finally dawned on him. 
suguru doesn’t want to part from you. he’s nervous, too — leaving you alone in that town, all by yourself, with no one around to protect you properly.
it's stupid. because deep down, he knows that you’ll escape too. that you’ll come after him, no matter how long it takes, that'll you'll both end up in tokyo. that you'll end up together, despite his duty as a sorcerer — eating soft serve ice cream cones, playing shooting games at the arcade, strolling around the big city aimlessly. doing all those things you always talked about doing.
because the two of you will always, always find your way back to each other. just like how he found you with that bruise on your leg, all those years ago, a fated encounter as natural as the glow of sunset. two lone dragonflies, who always meet somewhere in the middle of a dusty summer creek.
still, suguru can’t help but feel sad. a little lost. he can only hope you don’t notice the soft frown on his face, the faint redness of his eyes. 
(then again, when have you ever not noticed something he was trying to hide?)
there's no need to worry about it, suguru knows. he’s never had to worry about you judging him, looking down on him. never you.
and when his gaze falls on your face, after the train he’s supposed to board screeches to a halt behind him, your own tears are enough to make him realize how silly he’s being.
he laughs, from the bottom of his stomach, when you tackle him into a hug and tell him with teary eyes that you’ll come visit. he squeezes you especially tight, in a boyish fashion he can never quite hide from you, and murmurs into your ear that he’ll be waiting.
he asks you not to forget him. you laugh through your tears, and tell him that you never could.
before he has to let go and step into the train, you tell him that you love him, and his grin blooms with honeyed affection. he ruffles your hair, always gentle, always teasing, always the same suguru.
he tells you that he loves you, too.
— then he’s gone.
(you’ll forever regret not convincing him to stay.)
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the two of you stay in contact, all throughout his first year. texting, calling — making sure neither of you get the chance to forget the other. suguru tells you about his life, his missions, his classmates, leaving out all the gritty details. and you listen; attentive, curious.
at one point, you even visit him. his friends tease him relentlessly, but all he does is roll his eyes and flick their foreheads, biting back a smile. that makes you laugh, and he’s relieved that the sound hasn’t changed in the slightest.
and suguru stays the same, throughout that one first year. he is steadfast, unyielding, decisive. he has a conviction he’ll never let go of, and people he's vowed to protect. people he needs to protect. 
(non-sorcerers, is what he tells satoru, and he means it. but suguru chooses to omit the fact that he specifically wants to protect one single non-sorcerer, above all else.)
and suguru is happy, with his choice. thoroughly and wholly. the road ahead of him will be long, full of obstacles and thorns, but he always knew that would be the case. and he knows that it’ll hurt, that it’ll be tough, but he also knows that this is what he sincerely wants to do. what he was meant to do. the only choice worth making.
suguru is content. suguru will not falter.
— then, his second year descends upon him.
riko amanai dies. toji fushiguro dies.
satoru gojo becomes the strongest sorcerer of the modern era.
(and suguru geto is left behind.)
it is a slow, sinking realization. one whole year to lose sight of his goal, lose sight of the conviction he held onto so tightly. one whole year to feel it slip through the gaps between his fingers, helpless to stop its course. everything grows muddled, molding, rotting before he has a chance to root it out — and all he can do is wait, as it festers like bile in the bottom of his gut.
suguru geto falters.
(he doesn’t quite know who he is, anymore.)
words he’s swallowed down like curses all his life keep flooding his subconscious, building up inside the back of his throat, spinning and spinning and spinning inside his brain until he feels sick enough to throw up. evil. crazy. protection. responsibility.
duty, duty, duty —
(what does that word even mean?)
suguru doesn’t remember. he can’t recall what made him step onto that train with such conviction, how he was able to smile so assuredly. how he was able to laugh, from the very bottom of his gut, as if it was the easiest thing in the world. he just can't remember.
who is he doing this for? what meaning lies in all this pain? 
suguru keeps watching, hoping for an answer that’ll save him just enough. waiting and watching. he’s always just watching, isn’t he? never changing anything. always too late, too weak, too fucking useless to stop even a single person from dying. 
he watches helplessly as a little girl gets shot in the head, for the crime of having been born different, for the sake of simple currency. watches helplessly as satoru carries her lifeless body in his arms, across a room full of people so vile that some deep, rotten, intrinsic part of suguru just wants to —
but there would be no meaning to it.
(does there really need to be one?)
suguru honestly doesn’t know, anymore.
riko dies.
(curses spring up like flies. he devours and devours.)
then haibara dies, too. 
(in the distance, he thinks he hears the sound of clapping.)
sorcerers. non-sorcerers. curses.
the words begin to rot inside his mouth, like wilted flowers, syrupy sweet and nauseating. crumbling on his tongue, numbing his senses until it’s all he can taste. a mouthful of honey, sticking to the walls of his throat, too sweet to stomach.
this is wrong, he thinks. everything is all wrong.
everything is wrong and i don’t know how to fix it.
— and then there’s you.
during your third year, both of you are busier than usual, but still find the time to talk when you can. the normalcy of your little stories is a comfort, to suguru — but also makes him burn with something he fears may be close to envy.
you tell him about your new school, your new town, your new beginning; bright and dazzling. one that suits you just fine.
the two of you are different, he realizes, all at once. some part of him always knew. you were born to be happy, kept away from the bloodshed, hands unsullied by the deep red that always dries beneath his fingernails. there was never a place for you in the world of curses. and he’s glad, that it’s true, he always has been, but —
(resentment festers in his gut. he can’t tell how long it’s been there, and he’s afraid to know the answer.)
these days, suguru takes a little longer to answer your texts. his voice comes out sounding a little more fatigued when he’s speaking to you through the phone, and he doesn’t talk as much as he used to. your voice soothes him, though, he thinks. just a tiny bit. but it’s enough.
(he’s doing this for you, too. he can’t forget that.)
and when you come to visit him, during his third year, suguru is surprised. surprised to see you, standing outside of his dorm, bags full of his favorite snacks in hand. smiling.
you look the same as always.
(he’s the only one who’s changed.)
it’s a pleasant surprise, though, despite everything. he really did miss you. in his life, your presence alone has been nothing but a comfort, for as long as he can remember. even now, when everything feels so blurry and uncertain, you appear to him as a flicker of starlight; shining through the darkness that’s been plaguing him for the past year.
so he tries to smile, tries to sound the same as always, but he knows you don’t buy it. you know because you know him, despite everything.
suguru wonders what you would think of him, if you could hear the thoughts he’s been having these past few weeks. he wonders what he looks like, reflected in your eyes. he wonders how much he’s changed since you last saw him.
(he hasn’t felt like himself in months.)
your presence is like a balm, to his soul, but it also seeks to hurt him further. because you’re still the same. still so understanding and wise and patient. you can tell that he’s fading, and he can tell that you can tell. but he doesn’t want to tell you why. he refuses to open up to you, because what would that accomplish? how could you possibly understand?
how could you understand his hatred, his resentment, towards the very people he’s supposed to protect? he told you that, himself. he decided to protect them, on his own accord. that’s his duty — steadfast, unyielding, inevitable. that’s all it was ever meant to be.
protect the weak. protect the ugly. protect everyone except his comrades, until all of them lie dead in a pile of maggots and tangly limbs and buzzing flies.
a bitter, heavy kind of vomit settles inside his chest, his throat. and somewhere deep inside suguru’s mind, in the very bottom of a drawer he vowed never to open, the image of non-sorcerers shifts, distorts, flickers on and off under the light.
protect those monkeys until his very last breath.
(what a fucking joke.)
you couldn’t understand. he doesn’t want you to. he promised himself that he would keep you away from that kind of darkness, no matter what, and —
and you’re the only good thing he has left.
not only that — you’re a non-sorcerer, too. and suguru knows what that means. if what his brain is telling him is true, if that’s really how it is, then you are no exception. then you’re just like the rest, something lesser, nothing but a —
(he thinks he might throw up.)
suguru does not tell you anything. despite everything, despite your pleading expression, despite the heavy bile at the bottom of his gut. he does not tell you what is truly wrong. he does not open up to you. 
and that is suguru’s first act of betrayal, to you. before he even betrays the jujutsu world.
(it is perhaps the only betrayal he’ll ever feel any kind of remorse over.)
you try, though. persistent in your affection. he loathes how little you’ve changed, how brightly you still shine when reflected in his eyes. you sit right next to him, under a pleasant, ephemeral starry sky, stars blurred by the light pollution, and tell him what you always have.
i’ll support you, no matter what. 
suddenly, all he can hear is the whooshing of the sea. as if he's been pulled underwater, a heavy weight tugging at his limbs, lungs gasping for air that doesn't exist. pure static, in his ears, a sharp crack of something. like a rib, or a train of thought. all he can taste is saltwater.
the dam begins to break. it cracks at the edges, like two giddy children poking a stick into a puddle layered with ice, giggling at their scattered reflections. memories resurfacing, images flashing in his subconscious. suguru looks at you like he’s lost. something inside of him breaks, disintegrates into a pile of despair. 
because you don’t understand what you’re telling him. you don’t understand what he thinks about doing, sometimes, when the nights are especially long and the school is especially empty and the taste of curses lies especially thick on his tongue.
you don’t understand. you never will. 
but you’re smiling at him, so very gentle. so accepting, so all-encompassing of everything that’s good, everything worth cherishing. just like always. 
suguru recalls your teary face; when you scraped your knee, when he left that town behind. he recalls all the ways you’ve soothed him, saved him, in all the years you’ve known him.
i’ll definitely come visit. i love you.
i’ll support you, no matter what.
what do they look like?
— suguru falters. these days, that’s all he ever seems to do.
how could he hate non-sorcerers, when you’re among them? how could he hate a world that has you in it?
(he can’t, he can’t, he can’t. he can’t hate you. not you.)
the words that spill so very easily from your lips break him. he can’t tell if you’ve mended the damage, or only worsened it. he can’t tell where the jagged hole inside his chest ends and begins. he can only tell that it’s extending, extending, extending.
suguru wants to fall apart. he wants to fall apart, for only you to see, because you’ve always been the only one who could ever understand. the only one who wouldn’t turn your eyes away from him, even back then. the only, only one. the only other white chrysanthemum.
he wants so desperately to be honest with you, to let every dark thought he’s ever had flow out from his lips. for you to hear, for you to scorn or to accept at your leisure, doom him or bless him, a bleeding dog at your feet. to get rid of the tangled mess of thoughts inside his muddled mind — to just let go of everything, even if it’s only for a minute or two. just a second would be fine.
suguru wants to drag you down with him. drag you down into the depths, into the abyss, to share the weight of his suffering. so that you can be together, just like you always have; through thick and thin. always and forever.
but he doesn’t.
(and what a betrayal that is.)
suguru keeps his pretty little mouth shut, and he gives you a smile. a smile that doesn’t reach his eyes, the kind he always wears when he needs to lie convincingly.
he could tell you so many things. could ruin you completely, take you down with him. hand in hand, staining your unsullied skin with the blood on his own. into the gaping maw.
but at the end of the day, he chooses not to.
suguru chooses your peace of mind over his, just like he always has, and feeds you a vague half-truth. not quite a lie, but something that ignores the underlying question of your statement, a silent plea for sincerity. something deep and true, but almost sorrowful.
i know, he says.
i know you will.
the moment does not save him. but suguru does feel just a little more hopeful, a little less like he’s slowly rotting from the inside out. a little less like he’s completely and utterly alone, isolated in his agony.
you are the same as always. and what a relief that is. 
(for you, he can wade through the hell for just a little longer.)
when it’s time to say your goodbyes, suguru can tell you aren’t satisfied. that you wish you could do more. but he also knows that you won’t push it, because you’ve always respected him in a way no one else ever cares enough to do. 
before you leave, you tell him that you love him. in a quiet voice, a whisper, as if trying to squeeze some sincerity from his chest — a last-ditch attempt at reaching him. he squeezes your hand, instead, and doesn’t say it back.
suguru just smiles, flimsy, a smile that doesn’t reach his eyes.
you look like you want to say something, but you don’t.
and he watches you go, with forlorn eyes, until the dot that is you gets too small to distinguish from the darkness of the night. until he can almost delude himself into thinking that you’ve turned into a star. he watches you go as if trying to burn the sight into his memory, as if this is the last time he’ll ever see you.
(the curse of i love you rots in his mouth, unspoken, unvoiced.)
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two weeks later, suguru stands in front of a cage, covered in blood.
the girls in front of him, skinny, frail, crying — beaten and exhausted — look at him like he’s a god. him, pale, smiling, with blood staining his white uniform, bathed in moonlight —
like some kind of angel of death.
suguru soaks up the metallic scent of the room, basks in that sickeningly sweet feeling of release. he soothes the girls, as best he can. he leads them away, careful not to let them see the bodies. 
(there isn’t much left of them, anyhow.)
suguru geto makes his choice. the only choice that matters. 
he will twist himself into a curse. he will devour his ideal, until it’s all that’s left of him. he will embody it, become it, through and through. it’s fine if he dies in the process, it’s fine if everyone dies — just as long as it means something.
that is the conviction he will carry with him. the decision to only ever see the line between ends and means, the bright light at the end of a never-ending tunnel.
the blood of an entire village is on his hands.
(a part of him wants to throw up. another grins with ecstasy. every part agrees that it was inevitable.)
their screams weren’t beautiful. they were aggravating, revolting, the wretched buzzing of bugs ringing like static in his ears. but it felt good. it felt just. something in his bones settling into its rightful place, a spark of affirmation.
and suguru doesn’t stop there. as if desperate for the cup to finally run over, to make sure that there truly is no going back, his feet take him to a place he always hoped he’d never have to see again.
when suguru returns to that stiflingly silent town, to kill his parents, you are no longer there.
it’s not a surprise. he knows you escaped, long ago, just like him — just like you always said you would. not quite to tokyo, to your grave disappointment, but you managed to find some other town to live in. bigger, better. the new beginning he always hoped you’d get.
suguru does not want to think of you. he doesn't want to remember your face, the sound of your laughter, the way your eyes shone in the light. he wants to erase every single trace of your existence from his memory, if only to protect you from the person he will soon become. or perhaps only to spare himself the heartache of it all.
but when he passes by that one summer creek, forgetting you becomes an impossibility. 
his eyes gaze at the silver-hued fish, sparkling beneath the moonlight, the big cicadas singing sadly under the shadows of the trees. he closes his eyes, and breathes in the solitude, and recalls a child with teary eyes.
suguru knows what school you go to. he knows what your town is called, what your street looks like.
and it is far, far away from the town he’s in. far from tokyo, too. 
— and suguru is relieved.
(it gives him an excuse not to hunt you down just yet.)
the sight of his childhood home stirs no fondness in his heart. it is empty, it is silent, it is the same as always. and now it doesn’t even have you in it, anymore.
so it doesn’t matter.
suguru moves on with conviction, with bloodstains scattered across his clothes, seeping into the fabric. the screams of his parents don’t mean anything — they blur together with old echoes of evil, crazy, wrong. 
(there is something wrong with that child.)
their blood sticks to the soles of his shoes and he is repulsed by their fragility. their blood stains his shirt and he is elated by the irony of it all. all he sees is a blur of red. 
the road before him becomes clear.
finally, there truly is no turning back. that one sliver of good still left in him, crushed beneath the heel of his boot. at last. homicide, patricide — the more he adds, the easier it’ll be. easier to distance himself, easier to convince himself that his choice matters. that the blood of mere animals is a small price to pay for the future he envisions.
that he is right. that he is just.
(self-affirmation. what a holy thing it is.)
there is still much left for him to do. so suguru leaves the town behind.
he leaves that tiny summer creek behind.
it is a premature death; a resignation of identity. he isn’t an adult, not yet, but he has long since stopped being a child. he stopped being a child the moment he saw a bullet go through the skull of an innocent girl, the moment he saw haibara’s ghostly pale skin. no sorcerers stay children for very long.
none of it matters, anymore.
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time passes with a speed that’s almost frightening. 
suguru disappears, almost entirely faded, leaving only geto in his wake. a new person, an entirely different human being — ten years of living in an echo chamber, ten years of forming his personality in the shape of something twisted.
(something almost divine.)
and geto is right. just. geto has conviction, and that’s all he needs. everything goes according to plan; geto has a goal, and a family to pursue that goal with, to pursue that goal for. everything finally feels just right. breathing feels a lot easier. living feels a lot easier. 
but everyone has a weakness.
and there is one thing, only one thing, that still acts as a thorn in his side. something that holds him back, a stain yet to be wiped away, a piece of gum stuck to the sole of his shoe. a tattered memory, clinging to his subconscious as if haunting him.
(i’ll support you, no matter what.)
if only you could see him now.
when geto left his old life behind, he did not contact you. he did not say goodbye. he threw away his phone, deleted every single thing that someone could use to locate him with, and left. he hasn’t heard from you in years, hasn’t spoken to you. 
but he has seen you.
geto knows where your town is. what your apartment looks like. he knows what university you go to, where your go-to café is located. 
so resisting the temptation eventually becomes impossible. 
he tries not to think of you, he really does. he tries to act like you are nothing, to him, because you aren’t. you are proof of weakness and a fragility that geto loathes, proof of his own foolishness, his young naivety. you are everything he hates and everything rotten and everything he’s vowed to cleanse from the earth.
but, despite that undeniable truth, geto cannot help but seek you out.
he tells himself that it means nothing. that he’s only doing it to make sure he knows where he’s got you, like a predator watching over their prey, preparing to lunge out of hiding when the moment is right. because geto knows that your death, at his hands, is inevitable. what you are is a weakness, a connection that lingers on his skin like a mold, one he still has to the creatures that disgust him so.
so it’s inevitable.
in reality, he should have killed you first. before his parents, before the village — he should have killed you, because that would have solidified his devotion in a way nothing else ever could. but he didn’t. 
geto likes to think of it as a symbol, of sorts. that he’ll save you for last. the same way children eat every last part of the cake, greedily, before gulping down the strawberry. every single non-sorcerer will be dead by the time he gets to you. you’ll be the one remaining obstacle, the one final stain to rinse away before his dream becomes reality, the one thing still standing between him and the divinity he seeks. 
it is an honour, geto thinks, an honour he would not bestow to anyone but you.
but until that time comes, all he can do is watch over you. silently, so you don’t notice. always from afar, sometimes through the eyes of the curses he’s bound to. just to make sure that you’re still alive. that you haven’t tripped over your shoelaces and gotten yourself into a car accident, or gulped down a mouthful of food too fast and choked to death, or anything similarly pathetic. he wouldn’t put it past you. really, he has no idea how you’ve survived this long without him.
weak, fragile, clumsy. soft enough to sink his teeth into. you are everything that geto hates. you are nothing, nothing at all.
(and you are the same as always, despite everything. what an aggravation that’s become.)
he watches you, anyway; like a god finding amusement in his creations, an omniscient overseer watching you stumble day to day. he watches as you live your life, as you talk to other people with that familiar smile on your face. it hasn’t changed in the slightest.
he watches you laugh, watches you grab a crêpe from a street vendor, watches you cry when you think nobody is there to see.
(the sight sends a tremor running through his soul, one he desperately wants to pretend not to feel.)
on melancholic summer days, when the sun paints the sky pink and golden, he watches you clutch onto his old sweater. one you always said you were going to return, but never did — never got the chance to. you used to tell him it was too comfortable not to steal. that it smelled like him, that it made you feel less lonely. geto so tenderly wishes he could have forgotten those words, by now.
but he watches you, in the solitude of your apartment, as you bury your face in the wool and inhale the fading tinge of his old cologne. then you cry and cry, like a child, until the moon rises in the sky; until you’re breathing softly, lulled to sleep by his scent.
(geto thinks to himself that you are a fool, to still miss him after all these years.)
it’s not an everyday occasion. most days, he does not think of you. there are many other monkeys to kill, many things to discuss. there’s money to be made, plans to be forged, wars to be brewed. geto is a busy man. a family man, no less.
but when boredom is all he can feel, he still finds himself seeking you out. just to make sure no one has gotten to you before him. just a god enjoying the struggles of a lesser being.
that’s all it is, geto tells himself. that’s all it’ll ever be, from now on.
no one needs to know if he spends the occasional morning checking up on you, curious if you did well on that exam you were studying for. no one needs to know if he absorbs the curses that sometimes cling to your fragile skin, gulping them down before they cause too much damage. no one needs to know if anyone who gives you a little too much trouble suddenly disappears off the face of the earth. 
no one needs to know if he reminisces, every once in a while, when the summer nostalgia is too much to bear. about your childhood, about that question you asked him — a million years ago, back when the center of his universe was a single summer creek. 
(no one needs to know if he finds comfort in your presence, even now.)
on days when the moon hangs low in the sky, and geto can’t choke back the longing in his chest, he sits by your bed and watches you sleep. a forlorn expression on his face, lips stuck in a tight line. it’s risky, careless, but he’s helpless to the temptation. 
most nights, you lie perfectly still. so still he can almost delude himself into thinking that it’s over, that you’ve passed on, that he won’t have to kill you after all. sometimes you twist and turn, mumble something unintelligible under your breath that he doesn’t catch.
he wonders what you dream about. he wonders if you ever have nightmares, if they’re ever about him. he wonders why he even cares at all.
geto resents you. resents you for existing, for smiling every day, for being a bridge between him and lesser creatures. he resents you, resents you, resents you.
(self-affirmation. what a holy thing, indeed.)
— he could kill you so easily. 
he wouldn’t even need a curse to do it. a flick of his pinkie would be more than enough. that’s how fragile you are; asleep, right in front of him, breathing softly while he watches you like how the fox watches the lamb.
(he could end all of this, right now, in the silence of the night. in your most vulnerable state.)
and yet, geto allows the opportunity to pass him by.
he can’t get too greedy. that’s what he tells himself, as he slips out of your window in the dead of night, leaving your sleeping figure behind him. it’s not the right time. he can let you sleep, for just a little while longer. the bags under your eyes have looked especially heavy, recently.
(he tries not to remember the sleepover you had as kids, when he stayed perfectly still as you dozed off on his shoulder. doing his best not to wake you, watching you fondly until the sun began to rise. back when all he wanted was to protect you.)
geto knows that you know he’s not dead. he knows because he’s almost certain that satoru spoke to you, back then, even if he probably didn’t let you in on any details. because he knows that you’re sharp, sharp enough to know that he’s alive.
and even if that were not the case, geto knows because he’s sent you gifts. letters. absentminded, almost taunting, cruel in their joviality — always anonymous, always mysterious and vague and impossible to trace back to him. but he knows that you know who they’re from.
a little dance, if you will. geto haunts you like a ghost. he never lets you see him, but he lets you know that he’s there, sometimes. just out of frame.
he can only hope it’ll eventually haunt you to death.
(if it ends up as a comfort to you, instead, then, well — it is what it is.)
all of it is a safety measure in disguise. a way to satisfy the yearning inside his chest, without coming too close. that doesn’t mean he never falters, though.
every once in a while, he feels strangely compelled to talk to you. to waltz into your home, in a lighthearted fashion, to soak up your shocked expression. to ask how you’ve been, casually, and watch you stammer, stumble over your words — he can imagine the face you’d make, the way the lilt of your voice would tremble. would you cry? he can’t help but wonder, sometimes.
yet he always resists the temptation. careful, cautious, with every move he makes. like a shadow. he deliberately leaves no traces of himself behind, no breadcrumbs for you to follow like the curious creature you are. geto lets you know that he’s there, but he doesn’t let you see him, because if he talks to you he knows that he’ll kill you. and he can’t have that, not just yet. 
eventually, he’ll do it. he’ll do it, and he’ll watch as your blood stains the silk of his robes like the inevitability it is. but not yet.
you’ll be the last one, the last one he’ll kill. the final proof of his devotion.
until then, he can have this. this sickeningly sweet scrutiny of your life, your life without him. the sound of your laughter, the reflection of untainted light in your iris.
(you are the same as always, and you are a weakness that geto is learning to live with.)
he can’t rest, won’t rest until it finally ends. until the curtain calls on your bloodied body, until he feels the cold skin of your palm against his lips.
only then will he finally know if it was all worth it. only then will he be free of this yearning. only then will he be able to say that the last remnants of suguru have been well and truly cleansed from his soul, that there is nothing left of the person he was.
only then will geto be able to call himself wholly divine. 
but until that time comes, he can do nothing but watch you. when the temptation begins to crawl under his skin again, when he needs to remind himself of what he’s fighting for. that one thing, at least, never once changed; suguru geto has always fought for you. for your protection, for your survival, for your demise.
for your happiness, in life or in death.
(geto hates you, loathes you, resents you for being what you are; but suguru will always, always love you. forever and ever. no matter what. 
and that will be their undoing.)
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suguru geto dies without saying goodbye to you. 
if there are any regrets to speak of, any at all, then maybe that’d be it. he never got to see that shock on your face, never got to hear you stammer in the way you always used to when you were nervous.
in the golden hue of sunset, the last of his resentment finally fades away. the curse known as geto disappears, and what remains is no more than a ghost — the ghost of suguru, the person he was, the person he never quite stopped being.
and when geto disappears, when the last of his resentment fades away, suguru finally allows himself to think of you. fully, without interruption, without unspilled blood festering beneath his tongue. just one single touch of sincerity, one last indulgence before it all ends. he thinks of you, you as a person, not you as a non-sorcerer. he gives your memory the respect it deserves. something worth cherishing.
he wonders what you’re doing, right now. he wonders if you studied enough for that exam next week, if you found a good gift for your friend’s birthday party. he wonders if you still miss him, even though he'll never be deserving of it.
satoru stands in front of him, genuine, sincere. and suguru thinks that he is a fool, just like you; to still have any kind of affection left for someone like him. after he left you both behind, that summer.
satoru doesn’t curse him. suguru wishes he would.
a soft bout of laughter falls from his lips, as the sun sets behind him, and he knows you would have found the sight breathtaking. you always did love sunsets, didn't you? the sun was setting when he found you with that bruise on your leg, he recalls — such a miniscule detail. he wonders why he remembers only now.
suguru chokes back his tears, still smiling. it’s a smile of love. a smile of regret. he thinks of satoru. 
at least curse me a little at the very end.
those should be his final words. he should avert his gaze, follow the script, tear his eyes away from the only other person besides you who ever truly knew him —
but he doesn’t. he can’t. suguru looks straight at him, at satoru, into his eyes, so blue they seem to gleam in the orange hue of the melting sun. sparkling like little galaxies, like the crinkling of soda pops, like crystallized summer skies. he looks beautiful, as beautiful as he always was.
(i wish i had told you, suguru thinks. i wish i had told you everything.)
in a voice so small he barely hears it, so tender that geto would’ve felt disgusted to his very core, suguru asks his best friend for one last favour. he’s not sure why, not sure why it matters —
but maybe, just this once, it’s fine if it’s meaningless.
satoru listens, intently. he looks at his best friend with eyes so soft it makes suguru want to laugh and cry and go back to a time when they were all happy. but they can’t, that choice was lost ten years ago — he threw it away. smothered it beneath his boot heel. there was never any going back, from the very beginning. 
satoru answers his plea. one final favour, one best friend to another. 
of course.
a shaky breath. he can’t tell who it came from.
of course i will.
suguru smiles. a full, genuine smile, that reaches his eyes and blossoms like a flower in the light of the sun. it’s the last time anyone will see it.
satoru clenches his jaw. he crouches down, and presses his fingers against his best friend’s battered body, right over his bleeding heart. he will never, ever forgive himself for what he's about to do.
(suguru already has.)
and the moment before the last flicker of light leaves his eyes, suguru chooses to think of you.
he thinks of your smile, the way your lips curled up at even the smallest things. he thinks of your curiosity, how it always lead him back to you. he thinks of what could have been.
he thinks of that question you asked him, all those years ago — how accepted it made him feel. that sensation of being understood. suguru thinks you saved his life, that day.
(he never got to thank you for it.)
you were his childhood friend. his nearest, dearest, oldest one. 
suguru doesn't believe the world he lives in is kind enough to allow him a second chance. and he doesn't think he really deserves one, either way.
but if there is a next life, if he’s lucky enough to be reborn —
then suguru hopes he’ll be born as a dragonfly, so he can find his way back to you.
he’ll meet you, again; in the afterglow of sunset, by that dusty, forgotten, tiny summer creek. framed by silver-hued fish and cicadas, and the silence of a town that glimmered while you were both in it.
he won’t be able to wipe your tears away, won’t be able to clean the bruise on your knee — but he can be with you. and maybe, in your next lives, that’ll be enough.
(what a lovely thought.)
suguru smiles, and lets a final breath of air course through his burning lungs.
— it tastes like summer.
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there is a silent understanding, between the two of you.
it’s been ten years since you last spoke to satoru gojo. it wasn’t a very pleasant conversation, and somehow, you doubt this will be an exception. an acute awareness lies heavy in the air — and deep down, some part of you knows what he’s about to tell you.
(as if it was an inevitability.)
gojo doesn’t smile. his voice has no masked amusement to it, no sense of joviality. if you strain your ears, you think it may even be wavering, slightly, so faint it’s hard to tell for sure. just that one low shiver of his lips, saying more than words ever could.
he doesn’t beat around the bush. and you see that for the kindness that it is, despite the ice cold chill that creeps into your veins when his words spill out into the air, a full body shiver traveling down your spine.
he tells you that suguru is dead, and you don’t flinch. you don’t even cry. that comes later.
in the moment, all you can do is nod, a little pitiful, teeth digging into the flesh of your bottom lip to stop it from wobbling. like you’re trying to be brave. 
truthfully, you had a feeling that was the case.
sometimes, it was as if you could feel him. just barely out of reach, a certain cologne lingering on your windowsill, a box of cookies you’ve liked since you were little delivered to your doorstep. a sudden feeling of being watched. a note wishing you luck on whatever exam or driver’s test or job interview you had the next day, accompanied by a silly smiley face so distinctly suguru it made you want to cry.
— how cruel of him.
but you couldn’t help but feel comforted by it, all the same. it made you feel like he was still with you, somehow, like he still cared. even though he disappeared from your life without saying anything. even though gojo told you explicitly all those years ago to stay away, if you ever saw him, as if he was suddenly dangerous —
but you could never be afraid of him. you don’t think you have it in you. 
to you, suguru will always just be the boy who helped you up when you scraped your knee, all those years ago. a sweet, cool kid, who held your hand firmly and gently wiped the blood off your skin.
(he’ll always be your nearest, dearest, oldest friend. even if you aren’t his.)
but lately, there’s been nothing. you haven't felt any traces of him at all, no lingering gazes boring into your back. so you knew. deep down, maybe you always kind of knew.
gojo looks at you with compassion, understanding. and without him having to say it, you know he loved suguru too. you know because his breathing is shaky, because his eyes look puffy from hours of crying; you know because grief is like a stench, thick and heavy, overwhelming, one that clings to your skin and haunts your very being. just like love.
and you can smell it on the both of you.
(you both loved the boy who died for his ideals, the man who was so moral it killed him.)
the news will sink in, later. you are sure that you will crumble, and you are sure that you will cry. you’re sure that the road ahead will be a long one, full of obstacles and thorns. but that’s fine. you’ll deal with it when the time comes. suguru was always a little mystical, a little too good to be true.
maybe you always sort of assumed things would end like this; that he’d walk ahead without you, with all his whispered secrets and gentle lies. 
(asshole.
he could have given you a call, at least. even just once.)
for now, all you can do is try to keep your trembling skin intact. and you assume that gojo will leave, now that you know, that this was all he came here for. just a messenger of death, coated in a grief so strong you doubt he’ll ever be rid of it.
but gojo doesn’t leave. 
he hands you something, instead.
a polaroid, you quickly realize. a photograph, of three kids — one with white hair, one with brown hair, and one with black hair. the black haired boy is trying hard not to smile, you can tell. the other two have got their arms around him, squeezing his body tightly with matching grins, throwing up peace signs. he looks at them with exasperation in his eyes, but you can tell that there’s a love there. you can tell, you know, because despite everything, you still know him.
a lump forms in your throat.
it’s not the original copy, is what gojo tells you, apologetic. you’re almost certain that he kept it for himself, and you don’t blame him. i’m sorry. but i wanted to… you know.
(he wanted to give you something to hold onto.)
the gesture is a little bit awkward, just a tad clumsy. but it’s a genuine concern, a sincere kindness. you aren’t really surprised that suguru spent his last moments with this man instead of you.
gojo continues to speak, and you continue to listen, attentive — hungry for anything to mend the hole in your heart. but your eyes never once stray from the photograph.
(suguru looks so, so happy.)
he tells you that suguru talked about you a lot, back then. and without him having to say it, you know what he really means is he loved you a lot. the words of consolation ring like static, in your ears. it hurts. the hole in your heart just keeps extending, extending, extending.
gojo notices. so he gets to the point, the final point, the only one that matters. this is his duty, too — granting suguru’s last request. the only one he ever asked of him in words.
(it’s the least he could do, for the man he loved so dearly, the one who left him behind in the shadow of summer.)
he tells you that there’s one more thing. that suguru asked him to tell you something, that it was the last thing he ever said. words that he wanted you to hear, more than anything.
gojo’s voice does not waver. it is not his place.
you listen. you listen as if it will bring him back. you listen as if it is the last thing you will ever do.
and gojo speaks.
the words mean everything, and also nothing at all. how very like him. they bounce off the walls of your apartment, spilling into the suffocating air, echoing inside your mind. cutting into your bloodstream, rooting themselves in a particularly soft spot deep within your ribcage, chrysanthemums blooming from your flesh. petals filling up your stomach until you can scarcely breathe.
the final words of your childhood friend. your nearest, dearest, oldest one; suguru geto, who you will always love, in the same way the sun loves the moon, as naturally as breathing.
the dam breaks. the sky shatters. the sob you choke on tastes salty, and gojo looks remorseful, his figure blurred by your tears. everything comes crashing down around you — an inevitability you were hoping to put off, in the same way suguru put off talking to you all those years.
and now, finally, he tells you his honest feelings. when it’s already far too late. how very, very like him.
(tell them i’m sorry. and that i hope their exam goes well.)
— honestly. what a fucking asshole.
not once did you ask for an apology. you never wanted one, never thought to even wish for it. you didn’t need one.
all you wanted was for him to come back to you. to find you, again, the way he always did.
tears cascade down your scrunched-up face, big and childlike, but no one’s there to wipe them away anymore. you cradle the photograph in your hands, savouring every single memory you have of him. all the love your heart can muster.
the tears never seem to end. they continue to run down your cheeks, until all you can smell is sea salt, until the sun has set in the horizon, until the moon has hanged itself in the sky. a silent comfort, but it’s not enough. it never will be.
a sniffle pushes past your lips, and you hear yourself laugh — bitter, raspy, gentle all the same. what a moron, you whisper, a soft lull of your tongue. didn’t he know?
(you forgave him long ago.)
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bonus 👀
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teapotteakettle · 18 days
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swap!AU
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kaebedom-me · 1 year
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in which gojo cant seem to get his shit together when he's in front of the person he likes
synopsis: gojo tries his best to impress a regular he's been crushing on, too bad he can't keep his shit together long enough to make a proper latte
cw: gojo x reader, the babygirlfication of gojo satoru, ooc!gojo, he's actually not ooc my personal hc is that he gets real flustered in front of the person he really likes that's why, equally flustered and shy!reader, fem!reader, fluff, slightly proofread but not really, this is part of @freyzrc's very cute very good cafe au series! so please support the original creator!
word count: 1544
a/n: im actually scheduled for another DisappearanceTM but i 🥺 anyway, if you've been wondering where I've been I'm actually neck deep in jjk hell hence! i present to you, tumblr, this fic!!! (more hcs and context after the fic if you're interested in my ramblings)
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Gojo, despite his very pretty (self-proclaimed) appearance, actually prefers to work the morning shift during the times when the café was not a bar. It’s definitely not because he’s more of a morning person, it’s also definitely not because he hates alcohol. Also, it’s certainly absolutely positively NOT because of a pretty girl that comes in every once in a while, to grab a latte at a time where it (in his opinion) should be an inappropriate time to get coffee. But it’s favourite part of the day anyway, he always finds himself looking forward to it despite the irregularity of the girl’s visit.
“Ah! Welcome!” Itadori’s voice chimed in, snapping Gojo out of his daydreaming.
“Welcome!” Gojo exclaimed, too. He turned around just in time to catch sight of the girl he was daydreaming about coming to the counter.
To say he was a little excited was an understatement, because Gojo had almost dropped the cup that he was drying to the floor, earning a snort from Geto who’d been standing next to him the entire time. Gojo turned to glare at him for a split second before returning his attention to you.
“The usual, right?” Itadori asked cheerily.
“Actually, could I get it hot today?” you asked softly.
“Of course! That’ll be out to you in a jiffy!”
You gave Itadori a smile while tucking away your wallet. As you walked away, you glanced behind the counter to note who was on shift. Geto gave you a kind nod before whispering something to Itadori.
Before you could get too far away Itadori raised his voice a little to catch your attention. “Um! Miss! Excuse me! I’m so sorry to bother but we’re a little short staffed today, would you mind waiting here for your coffee?”
He asked you so nicely you weren’t able to say no, it’s not like you would’ve in the first place, though. You approached the end of the counter, where they usually put the drinks before serving.
Geto gave you an apologetic smile. “I’m sorry, Megumi-kun’s out with the dogs and I’m just about to take my break, so I really hope you don’t mind.”
You nodded; you understood you told him.
“Thank you so much, hun’! It’s nice seeing you again.” Geto beamed, and right there you swear you died while you were on your way here because this can’t be happening.
Geto quickly excused himself and went to the back, leaving you flustered.
Gojo was by the machines pulling a shot when Geto so kindly passed by him to pat him on the butt. The daggers he had been glaring at him had Geto trying not to laugh the entire time.
When you noticed it was your favourite white-haired barista making your coffee today you nearly choked on your own spit. Surely, you definitely died on the way here today, that was the only reason why the stars had aligned so perfectly today.
By the time you snapped back to your senses, Gojo was practically right in front of you assembling the drinks. You were way too nervous to look directly at him but you felt it would’ve been rude to look away considering you just made eye contact with him.
You awkwardly gave him a smile, and he returned it stiffly. “Uh, nice weather, huh?”
“Yeah!” You answered.
Curses! “Nice weather”??? That’s all he could come up with??? The only time he gets to talk to you outside of the usual short conversation while you ordered and he had to mess it up??? A disgrace! He’s The Gojo Satoru! How could he have been so-!!
It was then Gojo slightly slipped up and spilled some of the milk from the pitcher. “Shit,” he cursed.
He shouldn’t have looked up. But he did, and he made direct eye contact with you. GOD! STUPID! How did he mess it up this badly! Gojo wanted to curl into a ball and hide under the stupid cabinets right now.
“I usually don’t fuck up this badly-”
“Oh!!! Um! It’s ok! Take your time,” you tried and offered him your best smile.
Huh? HUH???? Did he seriously, seriously accidentally say that out loud? In front of you??? Of all people?????
Gojo cleared his throat as he felt the heat rush up into his cheeks. He has to save this somehow. “I, uh- Erm, is there any particular latte art you like?”
Taken off guard, you shook your head. “Anything’s good really!”
FUCK. What now?? He just kind of made conversation with you, should he continue?? Should he give you some options? A heart? What?! No! That’s too obvious! A swan? A rose? C’mon, Gojo, think! You can do better than those basic fucking starter latte art. Maybe he should drop dead and die, there’s no saving this interaction at this point.
“Maybe?” You quietly piped in. “Those plant looking ones? I think they look nice.”
A tulip? A tulip! Gojo’s got this! This is easy! Tulips are so easy! And he’s the best latte art maker in this whole damn café!
“Sure!” He puffed up his chest and answered as cheerily as he can, trying to hype himself up. If this goes well, maybe, MAYBE, he’d deem himself worth enough to ask for your number.
A tulip, a tulip, a tulip. A very simple and easy design. Yes, Gojo can make it with his eyes closed. He can even make it more complicated and intricate, that’ll surely impress you enough to want to give him your number. Super simple tulips are, he’s been making them since forever.
So why, why, WHY, is his hand shaking so badly. No!! No!!!! He has to do this perfectly! Oh, God, he can feel you looking at him and waiting. You’ve been waiting for a while too, he knows this! But God damn it, Megumi didn’t have to come in at this time to remind him that you’ve been waiting for a while. No! Focus! He can do this! Make good latte art, get pretty girl’s number!
Gojo ignored Itadori calling Megumi over to the back. He breathed in and let his hands worked his magic. This was easy! It’s practically muscle memory at this point! He’s got this!
Make good latte art, get pretty girl’s number!
Gojo must’ve been too excited because he fucking accidentally poured too much of the stupid milk into the damn cup too quickly and royally fucked whatever art he was about to make.
Gojo wanted to scream.
“Oh, um, I can still take that,” you piped in.
Oh, fucking fuck, you were watching him the entire time too. Gojo wanted to cry.
“No, no, I’ll remake it-”
“No! It’s ok! I don’t mind,” you said again. “I really don’t mind.”
You were truly an angel sent from heaven. How are you so forgiving and cute?? He can never show his face again the next time you come in.
“Ah, at least let me draw something on it to make up for it,” Gojo meekly offered.
Too shy to say no, you let and then watched him shuffle a little to the side to reach for the chocolate syrup.
Gojo made quick work of drawing Shiro into the latte you ordered. It wasn’t something too impressive but he knew at least you’d like it considering how much time you spend with Megumi’s dog whenever you came in.
“Enjoy,” he sheepishly muttered to you while he slid the coffee towards you.
Curse that stupid!!! Suguru!!!! For making you, of all people, stand by the counter to watch him work.
He watched as your eyes lit up at the little doodle he made. “Sorry I’m kinda off my game today,” he lamely excused himself. “It’s not the tulip you wanted but I hope it’s enough, I swear I’m a killer with latte art.”
You nodded, still eyeing the little Shiro on your cup, absent-mindedly you said, “It’s ok, maybe next time!”
Gojo perked up at that. The fact that you were still willing to come back!!! Ah, that almost brought tears to his eyes. “Next time for sure,” he promised.
Realising what you had just heard you snapped back to look at him. He was smiling gently down at you now and your heart almost burst out of your chest right there. You nodded and offered him another smile before scuttering away to find a seat.
おまけ
“Oh my God, that was so painful to watch,” Geto could hardly contain his laughter.
“Hey!!! Whose fault was it, huh!! I could’ve made the best damn art in my entire career!! And you!!! You fucked me over,” Gojo whisper shouted at Geto while the other staff slowly made their way back to the front.
“You screwed it up yourself,” muttered Megumi. “It was funny to watch though, I’m glad we took the shorter route back today.”
“Yeah, the Gojo Satoru fumbling so badly,” chimed Geto.
Itadori walked over to where Gojo was and offered him the cloth by the sink. “Aw, I think you did your best, senpai! Next time! You’ll make the best damn latter art in your entire career, I’m cheering for you!”
Gojo snatched the cloth from Itadori and glared at his friends before wiping down the mess he made. 
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so as mentioned, my personal hc is that gojo gets really flustered and shy when he's in front of the person his likes that's why he's like that in the fic uwu
it's just a simple cafe au with your favourite jjk boys
according to @freyzrc the bar becomes a bar after hours so your faves are able to pick and choose what shifts they prefer to work and when
i say your faves but really its up to you (read: me) if i want to see who at when and where lMAO
in my head, if i were to make this into a series it'd be like a dating sim with different routes depending on your fave that you're after
but also, there's no particular order in which events happen because I'm really writing this as a one off HAHAHA
if you're curious though, you can read it as a "best moments compilation" thing, but if you're on the other routes, the events of this route then not something that happened? it's basically kind of like the timeline branches out and there's multiple different universes within this universe
this route is gojo x reader + geto x reader with a hint of satosugu
this was intended to be a gift to the original artist so uwu reader is the way they are because of that
gojo does crush on geto here in this route but his brain actually doesn't process his feelings for geto because he dug himself a very deep friendzone hole. it's very tragic :/
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