#gelatin sticks
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रामेश्वरम कैफे में ब्लास्ट के बाद सर्चिंग में मिलीं जिलेटिन की छड़ें-डेटोनेटर्स, अलर्ट मोड पर पुलिस
रामेश्वरम कैफे में ब्लास्ट के बाद सर्चिंग में मिलीं जिलेटिन की छड़ें-डेटोनेटर्स, अलर्ट मोड पर पुलिस
Bangluru News: बेंगलुरु के रामेश्वरम कैफे में ब्लास्ट के बाद पुलिस ने गश्ती बढ़ा दी है. इस दौरान अब सर्चिंग के दौरान पुलिस को जिलेटिन की छड़ें और डेटोनेटर्स मिले हैं. पुलिस ने विस्फोटक सामग्री जब्त कर इस मामले में एफआईआर दर्ज कर ली है.
पुलिस के मुताबिक घटना 17 मार्च की है. बेलंदूर पुलिस स्टेशन के पीएसआई रेवन्ना सिद्दप्पा गश्त कर रहे थे. इस दौरान ही उन्होंने देखा कि चिक्कनायकनहल्ली प्राक्रिया…
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Sure you could stick a dick in that chest mouth, or you can stick that mouth's tongue in any hole it wants.
"Excuse me, but I am not sticking that tongue in any hole and I am not letting anyone stick their dick in my chest mouth because that is where my HEART is!"
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quick shitty mspaint doodles of my jam hand headcanons. handcanons?
#reblogs are off because its Ugly and im Nervous.#i hope this makes sense. in my brain Jam is a substance similar to like. dnd gelatinous cube but without tthe dissolving#but i like to think they have a thicker membrane or skin on the outside to differentiate the inside from outside.#its permeable but not like. easy to break and it doesnt stick to itself#meaning that the spots they dont have bones can sort of melt back into the body#i would also like to clarify these are just headcanons and not theories bc i think the real answers about jam biology are just#''its not that deep'' and also they sorrrt of contradict canon i think???? idk idk. i like to think abt them though.
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you can make gelatin out of human bones
which means you can make people jello
#don’t me ask me why i looked this up#but it’s perfectly possible to do#and scientists are sticking human genes into yeast#to make people gelatin#because of diseases or something?#it’s supposed to be safer#but i’d rather risk getting sick with cow bones#than eating gmo human yeast jello
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ok ok ok why and how does the d&d movie look potentially decent based on that trailer???
#i think it’s bcus they didn’t try to make it gritty and serious like. the vibe WAS just the goofy dumb energy of playing with your pals#PLUS i loved how many d&d things they clearly incorporated#like i could identify specific spells and monsters. they didn’t just stick the d&d name on another generic fantasy movie#it felt like actual d&d#dimension doors and gelatinous cubes and black dragons with acid breath#and bards struggling to justify why they’re there lmao#i’ve gone from -100 interest to like. 60 interest.
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#palm sugar#powdered gelatin#tamarind concentrate#cayenne#malic acid#popsicles#summer food#popsicle molds#popsicle sticks#salty sweet
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Gelatin Sticks Siezed | Kerala: Explosives found in large quantities in Palakkad, 8000 gelatin sticks also seized
Gelatin Sticks Siezed | Kerala: Explosives found in large quantities in Palakkad, 8000 gelatin sticks also seized
Pic: ANI
New Delhi. According to the big news coming from Kerala, here Palakkad (Palakkad) About 8000 gelatin sticks in 40 boxes have been found near a mine at Shoranur in the district. At present, the district police is investigating the matter. The details of the incident are yet to come.
Kerala | Around 8000 gelatin sticks in 40 boxes found abandoned near a quarry in Shornur, Palakkad…
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How funny, I swear Ive seen one of you before..
*The man narrowed his eyebrows and squinted*
Are you King Dark Cacao Cookie?
Rebel Cookie
"Yep. It's me, in the jelly-flesh."
#ask response#idk if cookie flesh is dough or something gelatinous#i stick with jelly-flesh because i draw 'em with what looks like flesh in my horror art
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how about that uhhhhh Fantasy Julie. she gets her sword <3 no one can take it from her <3
rambles:
SIKE you get an extra, lower quality doodle
SIKE AGAIN here's the rambles
yeah... i caved and gave her a tail... I'm Not Sorry! it's cute! i wanted to stick with her sorta flower motif - it's stronger in her princess look, since I imagine that when she was part of the royals she was very blatantly flower power based. it was her Thing!
but a Julie free of her noble shackles... she deserves her big sword. like yeah, she has flower magic, but who needs it when she has a Giant Blade??? on the royalty vein, and if we're classifying "rainbow monster" as a species, i feel like horn size/curve would be a status symbol of some kind. maybe Julie would have kept her horns filed short. but if she ran away from that life... longer horns! i like to imagine that they'll keep growing until she has a pair of Extra Weapons attached to her head! curved forward like mammoth tusks maybe!
i imagine that like Frank, she goes with minimal armor - range of movement over protection, yk? some scale mail over her front, a thick leather flower over her chest w/ scalloped leather pauldrons, wrist armor and metal knuckles! i'd think that the faux-suspenders include a back sheath for her sword... i wish i'd thought of that Before i finished the little ref! i don't feel like going back and editing!
i imagine that she was forced to cut her hair when it got caught in something (a gelatinous cube, mayhaps). it didn't look good! don't let anime and Mulan fool you! cutting your own hair with a blade will not look nice! but someone - Eddie, probably, he's good with scissors i'd assume - cleaned it up for her. and hey, it didn't look bad! plus, Julie probably liked being able to just tuck up her long strands into her hat when she's feeling a bit more like a Julius than a Julie!
it's been a fun challenge transforming their canon outfits into a similar variation with fantasy flavoring and twists! i want them to suit the setting but still maintain Themselves! Julie's was tough i gotta admit. i was messing around with the princess look and the fighter look side-by-side. it worked better when i sat back and thought "fighter Julie is Julie unrestrained. that version would be more aligned with her canon look"
i wanted her princess form to look Restrained! she has to be a ~delicate flower~, a noble woman, pristine and poised and very much a princess. soft colors, poofy clothing, bright white gloves that are not to be sullied. carefully bundled up hair! jewelry! that dress must be Heavy and hard to move in! her tail must be so cramped under there!
but Julie Unleashed? violent pinks! rose gold accents! short skirt so that she can sprint and Kick! fun boots that she can be active in and delight in watching them get dirty! her hair is free to whip in the wind and get caught in things! fun straps and Deadly Accessories! a sword that she stole from the royal armory on her way out the window! she has forearm wraps both to match Frank and to support her wrists!
#yessss this was mainly an excuse to draw jules with short hair and a tail. i do not apologize#i like to think that poppy has a bottomless bag that she's too scared to use herself#but everybody keeps things in there#julie keeps her hair-hiding-hat in there and some pants and a cape for that Julius Vibe#(yes i could have gone with julian. but julius makes me think of orange julius and. yum)#i've said in initial rambles that i think that julie has Mild plant magic#I TAKE THAT BACK SHE'S SO FUCKING POWERFUL#i think she could hold her own against wally here tbh!#she wouldn't win if home had the reins but yk! it would still be Close!#but why would she use boring magic when she can slash punch kick#she can definitely talk to all plants. like im carrying that over thats so cool#trees warning her of an ambush... trodden-on flowers pointing her in the direction of her quarry...#roots arching out of the ground to trip anyone about to beat her in a race#scribble salad#wh fantasy au#so in canon julie left The Cave#which. fuck is that supposed to be a reference to plato's cave? ok no now's not the time for speculation#so she left the cave to seek out a life of her own#so i imagine that she left the royal life for much the same reason! she didn't want to sit on a throne in a poofy dress and lead!#she wanted to Adventure! see the world! be unrestrained!#i imagine that her repeated sneaking out is how she met frank - then when she ran she went to him cause she knew he wanted to leave#and she went 'hey im ditching this joint wanna come' and Of Course the answer was yes!#adventuring duo that never regret it for a second!#also as im making refs im adding them to a Lineup. which i'll post when ive collected all the pokemon (neighbors). size refs!!!
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Hardcore Space Parkour
Some Humans are worryingly agile. And stupidly driven to endanger themselves. For no reason we can understand.
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Within the Coalition governing station of the segment of the Galaxy where the Sol system is are countless embassies for each member civilization. Each is designed to accommodate their respective species (or multiple in certain cases) to the fullest while also being able to host guests from any other member.
Then there are the communal areas, set for a galactic standard that is viable for the majority - gravity at 0.6 Earth, far less of that dangerous oxygen, and slightly more humid and cooler than what Humans are normally comfortable with. In fact, Humans technically fall outside the Galactic standards and are all equipped with a partial breathing assistance unit and pressurized clothing to stimulate their circulation. While they can function reasonably well despite what we assumed would be too draining without assistance, most Humans do make use of these gadgets.
Some, however, prefer to "stimulate" themselves a bit differently.
There is a small group of individual Humans many have dubbed "Leaping Cortix" after an infamous invasive fuzzy gelatinous centipede-like pest species that always manages to make a hive on any sufficiently large space station or vessel given enough time. Everybody swears they're some kind of magic, and it's hard to dissuade such a notion when there are fairly common reports of ships on deep isolation missions, without making contact with anyone or anything else for years at a time, still one day find themselves with a pack of Cortix skittering about near their nutrition supplies!
This group of Humans, found the title amusing and have embraced it. One of them even made a hooded sweater with the name and a stylized Cortix jumping off the letter x.
The reason for the name is simple - despite becoming integrated into the Coalition just around a year ago, Humans seem to appear everywhere within this segment of the Galaxy. Mostly in small groups for tourism reasons, but the point still stands. And these Humans in particular appear to make it a habit to appear out of the most unexpected places.
The leaping portion comes from how this group tends to move around the communal areas. Most Humans adapt to the lower gravity and eventually (rather quickly actually) change how they move around when outside their embassy - the movements seem more relaxed, fluid, some even appear to exert almost no effort at all in their steps. This group on the other hand utilizes the full force of their incredibly dense musculature.
First, they jump good. Real good. Then they bounce and pivot, real fast. After a few days they started a game - get to any place without touching the floor. Not even a day later they managed to always be in the air.
At first it was impressive and quite mesmerizing. Quite a sight to behold as they got better and quicker at chaining their jumps and bounds together into one smooth motion that took them from one part of the station to the other in mere moments.
Then they started getting bored. And one of them had an idea. An "awesome" idea.
Add flying robots and moving obstacles.
Chaos ensued. Naturally.
As the Humans leapt off of one of the maintenance machines they programmed to hover between several distant structures, it could not compensate for the sudden recoil from the movement and crashed down on the floor. Thankfully it was above a small garden and only some artificial plants were damaged, as well as itself, but that was enough to call in the peacekeeping units to put a halt to their antics.
We deliberately brought a Human peacekeeper along to make the reprimand stick. The Leaping Cortix, most of whom are junior staffers and one is a retired military veteran now serving as a consultant, looked ashamed, but also sad. At least they seemed to understand the gravity of the situation (though perhaps not as well as the physics of gravity) as the wreckage was cleared in clear sight of everyone.
After the offending member was issued a token fine (as it was their first offense), the group as a whole became less active. Initially, most people felt relieved, but as the incident grew more distant in memory, the sight of the flying Humans started to become missed by quite a few.
Some from the more physically able races were even inspired to try this "parkour" the Humans had demonstrated and found it quite thrilling. When done in a lower than their normal gravity that is. Trying it at their standard caused a few broken bones and cracked shells.
There is currently a petition by the permanent residents to dedicate a large open indoor field for such extreme physical sports as well as to commission the design of a variety of machines to facilitate, as written in the official documentation - "stimulating courses to improve the physical well being and readiness of all participants".
I.E. - Humans introduced a new sport to us and many are hooked.
#humans are space orcs#humanity fuck yeah#humans are deathworlders#humans are space australians#humans are space oddities#carionto
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Desserts in China
There's quite a large variety of treats and desserts in China (more than you can imagine), so here are some of the most common ones!
Almond jelly/tofu - 杏仁豆腐 - xìngréndòufu
Despite the name, almond jelly doesn't actually have almonds in it. Almond jelly is made from gelatin and almond milk, although some recepies use dairy milk instead.
Glutinous rice balls - 汤圆 - tāngyuán
These rice balls are made from glutinous rice balls with a sweet filling, such as red bean paste (a pretty popular filling in desserts, I've been fooled more than once when purchasing what I assumed to be a chocolate filled pastry).
Red bean buns - 豆沙包 - dòushābāo
One of my favorite desserts so far. These are steamed buns with a sweet red bean paste filling that I'd definitely recommend.
Egg custard bun - 流沙包 - liúshābāo
A sweet and savory bun, with a lava-like egg yolk filling. A pretty interesting dessert, as it's both sweet and savory.
Pumpkin cake - 南瓜饼 - nánguābǐng
I haven't tried this yet, but it definitely looks good. A fried and crunchy cake with a sweet filling such as red bean paste.
Eight treasure rice pudding - 八宝饭 -bābǎofàn
This is a pretty popular dessert, especially during the Lunar New Year. It gets this name becase of the toppings, which are eight or more different types of dried fruits and nuts arranged on top of the sweet rice, with (once again) red bean paste.
Hawthorn stick/ Candied Haws/ Sugar coated haws/ Bingtanghulu - 冰糖葫芦 - bīngtánghúlu
This treat has quite a few translations and you may have probably already seen it. This is basically candied fruit covered with a sweet, crunchy and sugary syrup. Traditionally, Hawthorn is used but other fruits such as grapes, strawberries and oranges are also popular options.
Sachima - 沙琪玛 - shāqímǎ
I haven't tried this snack yet, but it looks quite fascinating. Sachima is made from fried batter stuck together with a sugary syrup, with an interesting texture.
Sesame balls - 芝麻球 - zhīmaqiú
Similar to the rice glutinous balls, this treat is also made from glutinous rice flour with varying fillings including lotus seeds, mung bean and red beans, and sesame seeds.
Water chestnut cake
A sweet pan-fried cake made from chinese water chestnut, with a unique semi-transparent appearance.
Wintermelon puff/ Wife cake/ Sweetheartcake - 老婆餅 - lǎopóbǐng
This cake has many names, mainly because it has several different origin stories, each more fascinating than the next. This dessert is a flaky pastry with wintermelon, almond (not red bean this time!) paste and sesame filling.
Fortune cake - 发糕 - fāgāo
Not a fortune cookie! This is a spongy steamed cupcake cake
commonly made for the New Lunar Year celebrations and occasionally other events. They're usually a white-ish or brown-ish color, but they're often dyed bright colors to add extra festivity.
Mooncake - 月饼 - yuèbǐng
This is a pretty well-known dessert, commonly prepared for the Mid-Autumn Festival. Mooncakes are smallish steamd/fried (depends on the region) cakes with a sweet filling that can also sometimes have an egg yolk inside.
Osmanthus cake - 桂花糕 - guìhuāgāo
This is a unique traditional pastry made from glutinous rice flour, honey and osmanthus. This cake has a really interesting texture, as it's quite dense but also airy in a way? I'd definitely recommend trying it, as it's not super sweet and goes really well with tea.
#chinese food#studyblr#college life#student life#study blog#life in china#aesthetic#student#study motivation#travel blog#china#study in china#college#slavic roots western mind#asia#chinese#asian food#baozi#bao#cuisine#food#foodpics#red bean bun#red bean paste#almond jelly#rice balls#chinese dessert#chinese sweets#asian desserts#asian dessert
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Everyone asks about the hand mouths, but what about that chest mouth? I imagine with the length and girth of that tongue you could find plenty of creative uses for it, no?
"W-What? No! It's feral! S-Sure, it'll feel nice until it bites you, hn! You're not implying sticking your dick near it, are you!?"
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Horrorfest: Nothing Ventured [Yandere Sesshoumaru x Reader]
Title: Nothing Ventured [Yandere Sesshoumaru x Reader]
Synopsis: Sesshoumaru lets you put together stuff for a Halloween party. Jaken is whiny about it.
For Horrorfest request:
Sesshoumaru with a darling that’s really into Halloween? (Maybe she’s in a kagome situation where she’s from the modern world) and goes on and on about Halloween and spooky things in general?
Word count: 1132
notes: yandere, reader is captive but is pretty much just like "this is my life now" about it
“I don’t see why you should be allowed to waste precious supplies for such, such--nonsense!”
Jaken’s impish fury being directed at you was nothing new, and you dutifully ignored him and continued working on your makeshift Halloween garland. It wasn’t anything like the type of stuff you might have bought back home, mass-produced and printed and ready-to-go, but maybe that just made it more special.
Jaken paced back and forth in front of you, waving his stick and ranting.
“To think! The invaluable ink I use to assist our lord Sesshoumaru, wasted for some… some… silly human festival!”
“Jaken.”
You and Jaken both froze in place. Jaken, out of anxiety, and you, out of curiosity.
Sesshoumaru, who had been sitting silently with his eyes closed ever since giving you permission to make some decorations, was now looking directly at his servant. He looked, as he often did, passive; but you knew that didn’t mean he wasn’t irritated.
“Y-Yes, my lord?” Jaken gave a little bow, eyes darting from you to Sesshoumaru.
“Did I not give them permission for this?”
Jaken bowed his head a little. “Y-Yes, my lord, but--”
Sesshoumaru leaned back against the tree and closed his eyes again. “Then shut up and help them. I’m tired of your complaining.”
Jaken’s face split into fury before smoothing out into exasperated obedience. “Of-of course, my lord.”
He turned to you, mumbling, and you didn’t hold your breath that he was anything but irritated with the command his lord had given him. It wasn’t the first time that Sesshoumaru had ordered Jaken to obey your whims; something which might have seemed impossible ages ago, but now that you had settled into an uneasy acceptance of your forced servitude to a demon lord from feudal Japan, it had become more common.
“You should be grateful, you know,” Jaken muttered, grabbing one of your complete garlands and stringing it onto the rope you’d commandeered for your makeshift Halloween celebration. He looked like he could make a good decoration himself, you thought--a creepy little creature who ran around terrorizing children while they trick-or-treated.
He continued speaking, even as his hands began to nimbly put together a garland. “A high-ranking demon lord like lord Sesshoumaru should never demean himself by giving in to some… human celebration.”
You hummed. “I know. But Halloween is my favorite holiday back home. So I’m glad I get to bring it here… sort of.” You glanced at the DIY supplies you’d been creating for a few days. There was your garland--the highlight of the decorations, in your opinion, although you wished you’d been able t find orange paints; a costume, for yourself, as you didn’t even entertain the idea that Sesshoumaru would be willing to dress up (you were secretly working on something for Jaken, but you would cross that bridge when you came to it); and a smattering of dishes that you were hoping to turn into something like Halloween party food.
You sighed. It was a shame you couldn’t make mummy hot dogs or use a gelatin mold to make a Jello brain. But it wasn’t like you had a way to get back to your own time period, or a way to get back… anywhere now. Sesshoumaru wouldn’t let you, even if you asked. Even if you pleaded sweetly and obediently. That’s how you got permission to set up Halloween, by pleading and pleading, and explaining how it worked and pleading some more.
After the garland, you were going to get to work on the pumpkin carving. At first, you’d assumed that you’d have to carve something else--plump round radishes, maybe--but when you’d sketched out a pumpkin for Sesshoumaru, he murmured that he recalled seeing some in a human vegetable garden once.
These pumpkins were dark green, almost black. You hadn’t tried to carve them yet--hopefully the insides weren’t too different from the bright orange pumpkins you always bought around Halloween time.
Jaken saw you looking at the stash of pumpkins he’d been forced to procure for your Halloween celebration and scoffed. “And another thing! What a waste of food! Carving faces into food… and for what! Some silly festival that I’ve never heard of? I tell you, you are the most--”
“Jaken.”
This time, when the two of you glanced at Sesshoumaru, his eyes flashed red in warning. Just for a moment.
Jaken stammered out an apology and you bit down on your cheek to avoid saying anything. While Jaken went dutifully back to work, you kept on looking at the demon lord, who--you would swear this on your life--gave you something like a teasing smile. Just for a moment, before he closed his eyes to rest again. Or maybe it was a trick of the light.
Abandoning the garland for a moment, you grabbed one of the charcoal drawings you’d made to test out designs for the pumpkins. You approached the seemingly resting lord Sesshoumaru and dropped down to sit near him, kneeling out of a habit of forced respect.
“Do you want to see what I’m going to carve into the pumpkins?”
He didn’t say anything for a moment. Then he opened his eyes, looking at you for a moment.
“If you want to show them to me, you may. I don’t care.”
It was the closest thing to a “yes” that you were going to get. Really, you were grateful that he was letting you do this at all. Especially after you’d talked his ear off about Halloween the first time and his only response had been, “There’s nothing like that here. It sounds foolish.”
Maybe it was foolish. But it was the only thing you had going for you right now. So you smoothed out the papers and held them up. He looked at them with disinterest, even as you chattered away, explaining the design for each one.
When you were done, he glanced over at his impish servant.
“Jaken,” he said. Jaken, busy finishing up a garland with an expression of clear distaste on his face, looked up.
“Yes, my lord?”
“Watch over them while they do this. If they injure themselves, I’ll cut off your hand.”
Jaken bristled. You could practically see little feet of fear scampering up his spine as he straightened.
“Of-of course, my lord!”
Sesshoumaru sighed, and closed his eyes.
You scampered back over to Jaken and picked up the other end of the garland to help him finish.
Maybe you weren’t going to get to go home. Maybe it wouldn’t be a real Halloween. Maybe you were being held in this quasi-captivity by a demon lord who barely spoke to you (Jaken, for all his protests about your very existence, did respond to your chatter)--
But at least you were having some fun for once.
That counted for something.
#yandere sesshomaru#yandere sesshoumaru#yandere inuyasha#afterwitch writes#aw horrorfest#the cutest horrorfest thing for this year I'd say
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snack time fun !
Snacking can be a fun way to stay healthy. Here are some recommendations!
baby carrots & baby sausages
fries & nuggets in fun shapes
mac-n-cheese in fun shapes
scooby snacks
lettuce and star-shaped carrots
pink pineapple
soft drinks in sippy cup
Animal-shaped crackers
Fruit kebabs
Cheese and cracker shapes (using cookie cutters)
Teddy bear-shaped graham crackers
Mini PB&J sandwiches
Goldfish crackers
Apple slices with peanut butter
Popcorn with fun flavors (like caramel or cheese)
Mini pretzels
Veggie sticks with ranch dressing
String cheese
Rice crispy treats
Yogurt tubes
Mini muffins
Jello cups
Chocolate milk
Homemade fruit roll-ups
Trail mix with M&M's or chocolate chips
Squeezable applesauce pouches
Pita chips with hummus
Snack mix with cereal and dried fruits
Fruit-flavored gummy snacks
Mini hot dogs wrapped in crescent rolls
Marshmallows
Soft pretzel bites
Ants on a log (celery with peanut butter and raisins)
Frozen grapes
Baby carrots with dip
Cucumber slices with cream cheese
Cheese puffs
Mini pancake bites
Chocolate-covered strawberries
Frozen banana pops
Animal-shaped fruit snacks
Cherry tomatoes
Fruit cups in gelatin
Pop rocks
Cupcakes with colorful frosting
Apple juice or fruit punch
Nutella and banana sandwich bites
Raisins or dried cranberries
Babybel cheese
Pop-tarts
Pudding cups
Mini waffles with syrup
Cheese and grape skewers
Chocolate-covered pretzels
Cookie dough bites
Popsicles
Oreo cookies with milk for dunking
remember to have fun while eating! You can put your food in cute baby food containers.
#agere#age regression#age regressor#sfw agere#safe agere#agere blog#sfw age regression#agere community#sfw#agere stuff
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Coming back from the dead to propose a s@w-themed rapid fattening prompt.
Imagine a lithe and slim individual, probably a personal trainer or fitness influencer, who takes pleasure in mocking and bullying their larger clients and any fat person they see on the street. One night, they go to sleep and wake up in a dirty room, their hands bound above their head and a trap door under their feet (although the trap door seems a little stiff.)
A TV in the corner switches on, revealing a creepy puppet with a garbled voice.
“I’d like to play a game. For years, you have ridiculed those larger than yourself. As a fitness coach, you should be inspiring and uplifting, but your mere presence brings shame and embarrassment to so many. You seem more than eager to prescribe fad diets to people and shill your services, so why don’t you give a demonstration?
Under your feet is a trap door that will only open once a weight limit has been reached. You must reach the target weight of 300 pounds in ten minutes. Your progress will be shown via the scale in front of you. If you fail to hit this goal, even by a single pound, the walls will collapse inwards and you will be crushed to death.
A funnel will drop from the ceiling once this recording has finished. It will provide you with the necessary calories to grow.
Live or die. Make your choice.”
Sure enough, a plastic tube emerges from above the influencer and a timer starts on the wall. The scale shows a small figure: 130lbs. A perfect weight for their size. At first, they try screaming, thrashing around and tugging at the restraints to no avail. They try jumping on the trap door. Nothing. Staring at the tube in disgust, they knew they had to bite the bullet.
Oh well. Their metabolism would deal with all this, wouldn’t it? It’s not like they would just magically digest hundreds of pounds of food instantly.
Food, as it turned out, was an overstatement. It was more akin to sweet, fatty slop. They grumbled at the taste, but their fear of death kept them focused. Their belly rapidly expanded to hold all of the liquid, popping out of their tight tank top as if they were pregnant. But strangely, the bloating subsided almost instantly. Instead, their belly started to feel warm, before softness overwhelmed their middle in two small rolls, growing larger with every gulp.
They closed their eyes, despite their horror and anguish, but that didn’t stop them from feeling the effects of the liquid. Their body felt warm all over as it expanded like bread dough in the oven. Their slender figure evaporated, swaddled with layers of softness. Stick-like thighs melted into jiggling slabs of meat, and their cheeks started to rise, squishing their mouth together over the nozzle of the feeding tube. Their ass become two powerful globes of flab, wobbling as they guzzled relentlessly. Their pubic area swallowed their genitals with ease.
At that point, their clothes gave up the fight, seams popping and ripping. Holes in their clothing gave room for even more growth. And the crown jewel of their body was their newly grown belly that was already beginning to sag with the excess weight. Flabby tits rested lazily on top of it, already burst free from the confines of their tiny shirt.
The numbers on the scale were almost tipping 300. Almost. The trap door was creaking under their feet, unable to take the pressure.
280…
281…
A sudden rush of gas flooded their guts, and they leaned back from the tube to belch. At the same time, their legs were getting tired. Gone were the days where they could easily run a marathon. Fully nude, save for the underwear wedged tightly in between their ass cheeks, the former fitness trainer began to feast from the tube again, weeping as their once-skinny body was destroyed.
294…
295…
Almost done…
As the scale hit 300, lots of things happened at once.
Exhausted, their knees gave out, and they thundered ungracefully to the floor, shockwaves rippling in their gelatinous fat. The restraints that were once holding their wrists exploded from the sudden pull of weight, and they noted how puffy said wrists had become, alongside their thick, sausage digits.
The trap door sprang open, and they fell heavily into a pit below. Another juicy burp pushed its way out of them. They looked up to see the room above collapsing, the walls pressed together. Dazed, the newly-formed fatty watches dumbly as the mastermind of the trap strides towards them.
“Congratulations. You are still alive. I would say that you should appreciate life more now, but, ah…”
The mastermind rubbed his face exhaustedly.
“We might need a forklift to get you out of here.”
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101 ways to kill Barney Calhoun
I ended up making this list by going through multiple servers and people so here cuz I found it in my phone notes
Anyway the brilliant minds of the half-life fandom
1.) Waited pressure plate with tnt under it
2.) im going to leave mines under his mattress
3.) i’m setting a rake on his floor so he steps on it and whacks his face
4.) I'm giving him a bomb disguised as a cigar
5.) barney death 3: he ate what elvis presley ate….
6.) I would kill Barney Calhoun by slapping him so hard on the ass that it gives him cardiac arrest
7.) I drop him onto a pit of venomous snakes
8.) Im going to give Barney a beer but instead of beer it will be filled with deadly neurotoxin
9.) “now gordon, ive been keepin an eye out on this combine hideout for a while. they seem to walk in a certain pattern when crossing over to the entrance, which makes me think theyve buried mines all over the place. now, ive memorized the pattern, so im just gonna sneak on over, and you follow my lead, alright? dont worry, i know exactly where all the mines are.” and then he explodes
10.) that one episode of sponge bob where he eats the exploding pie and explodes
11.) set up tripwire then he falls into a tiger pit
12.) I type kill npc_barney into console
13.) slap the boobies off his chest so hard them fly around the world and hit the side of his head like water balloons
14.) i could marry him and slowly feed him mercury over a span for 3 years until he dies of mercury poisoning
15.) He tries to become a wwe wrestler but gets killed in a freak accident mid match
16.) I would kill him by making him a pizza but it’s covered in big chunks of lead but it’s hidden in the sauce and it’s a Chicago style pizza
17.) bring him to a highway and kiss him so hard he gets knocked onto the road and gets ran over
18.) Peeling him apart by the dna strand and eating it like spaghetti
19.) barney gets trampled by a stampede of horses
20.) giving him under the counter off brand viagra
21.) put him in a washing machine and turn it on
22.) shark attack
23.) pit of sharks
24.) barney gets criticized so badly he dies
25.) barney sits in an uncomfortable chair for too long
26.) He gets his arm caught in a bear trap w a beer used as a lure
27.) HE BECOMES THE CAT THAT TRAUMATIZED HIM. HE….YKNOW…..
28.) he gets stuck in a swimming pool like hes in the sims and dies from getting exhausted and drowning
29.) barney roasting marshmallows but his stick ignites into flames and he burns to death
30.) ATTACH SO MANY BALLOONS TO BARNEY HE FLOATS AWAY INTO THE SKY NEVER TO BE SEEN AGAIN
31.) barney gets rejected by gordon and he gets so sad his body shuts down
32.) I kiss him so tenderly on the lips that he melts into a puddle and dies
33.) i throw him in to a volcano so that he melt into a puddle and dies
34.) "I’ll turn him into a flea, a harmless, little flea, and then I’ll put that flea in a box, and then I’ll put that box inside of another box, and then I’ll mail that box to myself, and when it arrives…I’ll smash it with a hammer!"
35.) stick a bottle of beer into his throat, the whole bottle
36.) give Barney Calhoun a beer can full of poison
37.) hang a piano over the toilet and wait
38.) i think barney should have his spine ripped out through his mouth
39.) he goes to a bar and tries flirting with the bartender and the bartender takes out a shotgun and kills him on the spot
40.) punch him so hard in the penis that he shatters like a brittle glass
41.) bite him in half
42.) I'm grinding him in a giant shredder
43.) bro took a bath in hot mac 'n cheese
44.) i put him ina giant caldron full of water and i begin boiling him down to gelatin and broth
45.) barney accompanies the crew to the borealis and he steps over thin ice and gets dunked into the below zero water and freezes to death
46.) barney calhoun gets carried away by a tornado
47.) took barney on a vacation to Hawai’i and pushed him into a volcano
48.) He dies and he's never mentioned again and nobody cares
49.) died of tummy ache
50.) Stepped on by a strider
51.) shrinked until he disappeared completely
52.) blasted into the sun
53.) Stab him with 300 pencils made with real lead
54.) slip and falls and dies
55.) put him into a Minecraft furnace
56.) Barney ignores the wet floor sign and slips and cracks his head
57.) while swimming in the swimming pool he swims to fast and smashes his face against the pool's wall
58.) he gets a concussion and drowns
59.) i want to put him through a lunchmeat slicer
60.) He falls off a dumb huge cliff
61.) he lives his life to the fullest and at his deathbed at age 93, June 29th, 6:12 am he passes away
62.) he eats a burgie with too much grease and gets a heart attack
63.) testicular cancer
64.) He should get sucked into a fan while trying to fix it at Black Mesa and literally no one comes looking for him
65.) The Pita Bread Room
66.) slipped on a Banana peel
67.) ran over by a crap ton of shopping carts rolling down the hill
68.) barney overheats in a fursuit
69.) he has sex so bad that he dies
70.) Barney dies because i fucking kill him with a shovel 🖕
71.) barney eats the gas station sushi
72.) barney faints via twirling around and holding his hand in front of his forehead, and then slowly lying down with a flower in his hands to indicate death
73.) When they turn off the suppression fields he just blows up
74.) barney gets crushed by a giant boulder thats all i got son
75.) barney goes to the beach that makes you old
76.) His head spontaneously combusts and pops like corn
77.) erectile dysfunction
78.) we should also have him get carbon monoxide poisoning
79.) barney gets gaussian blurred into nothingness
80.) he eats 20 year old expired mcdonalds burger and contracts the worst case of food poisoning youve ever seen
81.) Have we done tying him to a train track like a damsel
82.) he dies in a glue trap
83.) barney develops lactose intolerance over the years of combine occupation and he drink milk and then dies from shitting hinself to death
84.) he should chocke on his favourite food
85.) barney gets lead poisoning from a 1990s garfield glass mug
86.) he chokes on plastic
87.) barney gets thrown throw a glass window from a 15 story building
88.) gordon gives barney a wedgie so bad that he splits in half and dies
89.) gordon and barney divorce and barney dies from heartbreak
90.) alyx and gordon have enough of barney’s snoring so they smother him in his sleep with a pillow
91.) he trips while walking with gordon and impales himself on gordons crowbar face
92.) if he were the size of an ant he'd be ok instead he blows up like a watermelon and his remains are fed to lamarr by a very delighted kleiner. he fucking hated barney
93.) dog roughhouses with barney and accidentally obliterates his spinal cord
94.) barney gets poisoned to death by his own chumtoad
95.) coats him in eggs and flour and fries him
96.) snatched by a hawk and eten alive
97.) barney gets to participate in a danganronpa killing game and gets executed
98.) barney opens the love-letter-for-you.txt.vbs file and it kills him
99.) elaborate rube goldberg machine to drop an anvil on barney
100.) barney dies in an Iron Maiden
101.) we should put barney under those old timey stone tablets meant to squish and torture people and make them talk
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