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bigcatbulges · 9 months

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Source - TheWolfyBuns

(Artist's FurAffinity and Ko-fi)

#gay scalie #gay scalie dinosaur #gay scalie jockstrap #gay scalie pecs #artists twitter above #oh i just know this man smells bad after a workout lemme at that jock

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fuelledare · 4 months

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ᴡʜᴏ ɴᴇᴇᴅꜱ ᴀ ꜰᴜᴛᴜʀᴇ ᴡʜᴇɴ ᴀʟʟ ᴏꜰ ᴍʏ ꜰʀɪᴇɴᴅꜱ ᴀʀᴇ ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴘʀᴇꜱᴇɴᴛ?

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wormdramafever · 4 months

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Sage

#goodbye volcano high #sage gvh #be gay do crimes #transgender #velociraptor #scalie #anthro dinosaur #anthro #dinosaurs #furry #gvh

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rustybottlecap · 7 months

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I have a theory about the bts of Goodbye Volcano High that may be reaching but I may as well get out of my head.

There is this character, a raptor called Alvin, who is the boyfriend of Reed, and shows up briefly in a couple of shots from time to time:

And there is this other character, that was going to be a protagonist but was scrapped at some point during production, a liopleurodon named Leo, who was going to be a close friend to Reed (and we know would have been gay or bi because he was potentially going to end up with Sage).

Both have blue bodies, dark purple hair, violet-grey-ish eyes, long beaks, grey trousers, and are very close to Reed.

Could it be that Alvin is a (very) repurposed Leo? That the basic idea of Leo's design was used for Alvin? Am I desesperate to believe Leo lives on in the game?

Maybe.

#goodbye volcano high #gvh #concept art #video games #behind the scenes #dinosaurs #scalie #furry #anthro #furry art #liopleurodon #velociraptor #reed gvh #leo gvh #alvin gvh #gay #gay scalie #gay furry

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senkeymas · 7 months

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Dinotato the Primal Potato Mine!

A friend suggested me to bara-fy/ anthro-fy the Primal Potato Mine from PvZ 2. And i'm pretty happy that he turned out great!

#furry art #furry bara #furry fandom #gay furry #anthro #muscular #furry bara art #art #scalie #dinosaur #chubby #barafy_art #gay furry art #Potato_mine #pvz2

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me-uglypretty · 2 years

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WHAT TIME IS IT?! RUNAWAY TIME!!!

OMFG I ACTUALLY LOST IT WHEN YOU SAID NICO IS A CHIHUAHUA CAUSE ITS SO TRUE (their parent energy is so fucking cute and definitely what keeps the group in line I LOVE THEM TOO!!!)

the parents piss me off so much it’s not even funny anymore and i know there’s still so much more messed up stuff i’m going to see from them ((definitely except tina minoru in a lgbtq+ way))

LESLIE IS THE ABSOLUTE WORST!!! the scaly-ness of him is nasty af and the fake-ness of how like pristine he is is unsettling. like what girl? you could legit have anyone else WAIT YOU HAVE A HUSBAND poor frank but also like screw him too

ANYWAYS i’ve only been able to watch the first episode of season two so here are my hot inputs (((you know like hot takes, but hot inputs since i’m input runaway anon? yeah, okay, moving on)))

okay so it wasn’t jonah who framed the kids, it was mr. wilder… what was this mans thinking smh, ooooh i do love how the parents have their own secret lair

EEEEEEEEEEEEHHHHH DEANORU

mmmmmm i’m not feeling good about alex “teaming” up with his dad’s ex bestie

BAHAHAHAHAHA gert: “pretty white privilege for the win.” ugh i love gert, she’s the definition of girlboss ((((okay like all the gals are girlbosses, but gert’s the leader of girlbossing))))

okay, nvm i’m tolerating alex’s dad’s ex-bestie, making alex fix up that house for the money is giving major dad joke vibes

YUP IM SOBBING the little funeral they had for graciela was so beautiful, how others began to chop to add as offerings (((((not to mention the little pride flag, it’s the small things))))))

my heart is breaking! gert just needs to believe that she’s good enough for and deserves chase!!! i respect chase for not pushing anything atm but i also just want to shove them together myself and make them hug or kiss or something

OH YEAH SUPER SECRET LAIR FOR THE KIDS THATS SO COOL TRY TO BEAT THAT PARENTS

AWWWWWW OLD LACE CUDDLING WITH MOLLY

oop karolina meeting up with her dad? i feel that’s gonna cause tension once the group finds out

i have lots of free time tomorrow and you can absolutely bet i’ll be spending it watching runways

so until then yours truly,

~ input runaway anon

THE PARENTS ARE SO MESSY that it make sense when some of them ended up being messy like Karolina baby what are you doing and Alex too but it's Alex so like uh what's next (also the whole frank + the religion thing is so messed up like that is a cult sir r u ok why do u wanna join a cult)

Strangers honouring someone they don’t even know??? And it’s people who barely have enough for their own self??? That scene was so heavy ((cause look at the parents who has everything and yet they’re so???))(((the pride flag made me emotional too)))

THE SECRET LAIR!!! They went from one expensive house to another (but it is so cool tho like really, I love the whole vibe). Also, Gert has the best comebacks/lines even in the comic!! SHE AND CHASE ARE THE ONLY HETERO COUPLE I GENUINELY SHIP. You haven't seen the length what their love makes them do (shit will hurt<3)

To end this in the daily word of DEANORU SWEET BABY GAYS. And the Old Lace moments warms my heart, plus Old Lace’s connection with Gert = protecting everyone close to Gert and I AM HERE FOR IT.

I CAN'T WAIT FOR YOU TO BE SHOCKED BY THE NEXT EPISODES or not, tbh, sometimes it's like ah okay then AHHH THE GAYYSSS and DINOSAUR SO COOL, but that's just me.

Thank you for sharing your hot inputs, input runaway anon <3

#me-uglypretty answers #input runaway anon

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idoodle2draw-marquer · 5 years

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*sweati n g* i have no impulse control when i'm super gay like this 💦

here's some sweet heckin' sketches for Coriault and his glorious dino boi, Elaismurnhem! who should totally be a model 👀

this was so much fun thank you my dude!! <3

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downbythebaynotbae · 2 years

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I got too high yesterday and while I was laying in bed because the world was heavy and moving slow I kept coming up with ideas for books and I forced myself to write them down because I figured they’d either actually be good ideas or something to laugh at later…

Anyway I was looking at the list today and one idea was so freaking wild! The only people that could ever appreciate it would be Tumblr users.

The story is in first person. I work on a ranch in Texas. Let the Stegosaurus out in the morning so they can graze on grass. Give the gay Parasaurolophus some eggs and a nest so they stop stealing eggs from the other couples. And keep the Raptors away from the giant wall that goes around the entire middle of country. Yep, I’m a dinosaur cowboy in a dystopian world. Zombies are on the other side of that wall. And yes, dinosaurs are used to fight the zombies. Is that the biggest twist of this story…nope. I’m constantly complaining about shaving and wishing I could be scaly or feathery like the dinos. My sister keeps telling me I don’t need to shave. She doesn’t understand because she always has hair. My family are a family of bigfoots, except for me. I’m a werewolf.

So yeah, if anyone wants a story about a werewolf in a family of cowboy Bigfoots (bigfeet?) that rangle dinosaurs in order to fight zombies, let me know

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saintacheron · 4 years

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What i wish to see in tesvi: long post

Bretons aren't just french-inspired people who like to cook! They're half elves and should have slightly pointy ears! You should be able to modify their magic ancestry and maybe give a little variation to their pointy ears. Also: it could work as a subrace but REACHMEN! Give us different tattoos and facemarkings! Make everyone react differently if your character is a Reachperson or looks like your typical medieval breton! Make nord npcs react to a breton differently if they have rechamen face tattoos! Allow us to learn different spells depending on the cultural background.

Argonians should be able to have those fin-like things give us the full dinosaur experience of argonians! I don't know much about their lore but they come in all shapes. Also there should be different options/quests/reactions/dialogue in-game regarding the Hist, sithis, etc.

Altmer. They should look like in Skyrim, not just like a typical Caucasian Imperialist, leave that look for imperials. They are Golden! Maybe let them shine! Let us adorn our altmers with beautiful makeup and jewelry, let other altmer npcs react calmly to our altmer but make almost all human races act a bit nervous around the altmer.

Dunmer. Ok so i dont really know much about dunmer but they should have more depth to their magic talents! Give us dunmer-based and exclusive spells! Make argonians judgemental towards us and give us mORE FIRE. Also about how they look: theire not just grey, in oblivion they also look blue-ish and purple! Give us more colors! Also also: why do they have to look all wrinkly? ESO dunmers look better i guess.

Nords. Make them real barbaric, i think theyre really well done, specially in Skyrim. It would be nice if we had giantborns / titanborns or something like that. BUT GIVE US A REAL NORDIC PANTHEON!!!! Make them mention shor, talos, alduin not just in battle!!! And even if they're not talented in magic, give us storm/weather/snowy spells or just nature based spells specially for hunting, make them less affected by animal attacks like bears idk. Also let other npcs react to them depending if they're human or elf you know

Redguards. I DEMAND A LOT FOR REDGUARD CULTURE. we need a really different pantheon, we already know there's differences so please if tesvi is based in part in hammerfell dont do like skyrim and just throw the imperial pantheon. Also maybe they have desert based spells to help them survive in long journeys, maybe related to ancient left-handed elves' sand magic??? We need a lot of lore and i hope they deliver. We also need a lot of magic/weapons/culture/quests related to them being the best sailors. Give us war with the maormer! Give us war with the elves! Give us war with the sload and lots of piracy and tales!

I'm pretending left-handed elves are extinct or supposed to be extinct like falmers or snow elfs. I doubt they'll appear as playable races but i want to know what happened to the rest of the snow elfs! Maybe we can get close to a community of survivors of both races? Have access to their technology, weapons, armor, spells like sand-"bending" of the sinister elves, or snow/sun magic from the snow elves

I also doubt we'll be able to play as dwemer BUT since there's a theory about them disappearing because they got yeeted to the future maybe we can see them in tes VI. A lot of them. All of them. Maybe the main quest goes around them re-claiming their abandoned cities. Give us lore about their telepathy, tuning, give us followers and machines please. Even if they dont appear, give us dwemer technology

Khajiit. Ok so if tesvi is partly located in hammerfell, khajiits surely make a huge population since its also a desert. So dont give us just khajiiti caravans. Give us full khajiit marketplaces, guilds, factions, martial arts, etc. It'd be nice to allow us more customization, maybe even allow us to select from two or three humanoid khajiit forms, give us manes, and a lot of adornments. Make them excellent merchants and the most agile race please.

BOSMER! One of my favorite races. GIVE US THE HORNS, give us the chance to make our skin green, have tree-markings, AND IF I WANT TO, GIVE ME THE CHANCE TO FOLLOW THE GREEN PACT! Give us pointy teeth and exclusive marksman talents. I doubt we well be given the wild hunt but maybe we can witness it, or maybe they can extend the "command animal" power into a more powerfull version, let me ride a bear, let me pet any wolf, let me carry snakes idk

Imperials. Ok i know they're the almost the most boring race but it would be nice if they could be based not just off the Roman Empire, but all their colonies as well. Make them excellent at adapting to new cultures. Maybe as an imperial character we suffer the less prejudice except for altmers or something, make them versatile and not just roman, make them not exclusively caucasian, give us Mediterranean vibes, phoenicians, northern african-inspired clothing and weapons depending if theyre imperials from cyrodiil, or born in hammerfell. It would be nice if nocs had some sort of ayleid possessions.

Orcs. I WANT TO SEE THE DRAGONTAIL MOUNTAINS. i want the drama of every clan. But i need to see more than just their brute type. I need to know more about their magic, rites, etc. I want to see their soft side. I want to see that theres more to their fixation with battle, war and lineage, let us see honor, sacrifice and love in the most alien way but show us that theyre not just green tanks. Also their architecture: *chef (chief) kiss*

MAORMER. So its not exactly a playable race, if the game is going to be set in the illiac bay, hammerfell etc. I NEED TO SEE THE FISHY PIRATES AND THEIR HUGE SNAKES. IM A THIRSTY BOY FOR THE SEA ELVES. Give us the chance to play as them, maybe they only have small properties in big ports (i see it as the Nauts in Greedfall) , give us white and slightly iridescent scaly skin. Storm and snake magic all the way! Weather magic! Fog magic! Tridents, harpoons instead of bows, pirates pirates pirates. ALSO MAKE EVERY ALTMER HATE THEM.

Give us a quest involving a forbidden romance between a noble high elf in a breton embassy, soon to be wed unwillingly to a breton noble for family interest, BUT its our job to help them escape with a sea elf pirate or sailor because they're in love!!!!!!!! Make it gay if possible. Give us the gay pirates Todd! Please im begging you!

#sea elf #maormer #altmer #high elf #orc #skyrim #tes vi #tes v skyrim #bretons #redguard #hammerfell #argonian #khajiit #headcanon #dunmer

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plaguedocboi · 4 years

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Here’s what’s so ridiculous the whole Jurassic World vs Actual Science debate.

Lets say that when you were a kid, you loved big cats. You thought they were the coolest things ever. You told your parents so many facts about them that they got sick of hearing about it. But, in every book, every movie, and every documentary about, say, lions, you were told that they looked like this:

(Credit: young hwan lee on Artstation)

Most of the facts you learned centered around how lions are huge, apex predators that devour everything in their path. They’re deadly monsters who never rest in their search for flesh. Every movie you watch with lions in it reinforces this fact. And, hey, that’s pretty badass! No wonder you like them!

But then, one day, you visit a zoo, or talk to a scientist. And you find out that lions aren’t what you thought. They spend most of the day laying around. They live in groups and care for their families. Even worse, they don’t look like you thought they did! They look like big, fluffy house cats!

(Credit: Wikipedia)

Naturally, you’re a little shocked. These are not the monsters you learned about. So you reject it. You go around telling everyone how “gay” real lions are. No one finds big, fluffy house cats scary! They’re almost extinct, after all, so who cares what they really look like? And the world seems to agree with you, because every time you google “lion”, 99% of the results are the fake ones. Almost every movie or game that comes out about big cats features your beloved scary, spiky lions. So who cares about what’s accurate?

Well, the thing is, it doesn’t matter what you think is cool. It doesn’t matter what the media is saying. Lions are a real animal, and we know what they look like. So, regardless of how much you insist “real lions are lame, they’ll always be scaly to me!” It doesn’t matter. Lions have fur. Lions live in family groups and care for their young. They spend most of the day sleeping, and they aren’t ruthless monsters that kill everything in their paths.

Do you see now how illogical the “debate” between accurate and inaccurate dinosaurs are? Regardless of how much you try to fight it, we know that a lot of dinosaurs had feathers. We know that they spent most of their day relaxing, grooming, mating (just like animals today), and not constantly stalking the primordial landscape on the search for blood. It doesn’t matter what the media says “dinosaurs” are, because it’s not true. Science doesn’t care about your personal preferences. Anyone using the argument “but I like this version!!!” Is just as ridiculous as someone claiming that lions look like the above art. It’s that simple.

#paleoblr #long post #dinosaurs #lions

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rioterrl · 4 years

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Chapter 1 - Labor Friends

“What does a mirror look at?” -Frank Herbert

I see him at work every day. That part is hard. Sometimes, it is exciting...the part about it being hard-and I don't mean that in a double entendre way. I don't know any male dinosaurs who are intimately involved with other male dinosaurs. I've seen it on television occasionally, but it often seems to be used as a source for comedy. I laugh along with the studio audience when the masculinity obsessed head of the household side eyes a male character with a lisp on his tongue and flamboyance about his behavior. "Peculiar" comes up in One Flew Over the Pterodactyl's Nest. Queer is another of these words, and certainly more common nowadays. It's considered... strange... odd... suspicious... abnormal... or even... ...ridiculous behavior... to be a man who is attracted to...other men.

The main point driving this concept seems to be the fact that women like men and therefor a man liking a man is basically a man behaving like a woman. It's funny stuff. I don't know why I laugh at it. I don't understand the humor on any level beyond shock. But once the shock wears off, it just seems like it's nobody's god damn business who consents to intimacy with who. And for that matter, who cares which scaly sack of bones and meat behaves as a woman and which scaly sack of bones and meat behaves as a man? It's not an attack on masculinity, I can tell you that much. My masculinity is an undeniable part of who I am, and my masculinity informs me that anyone who would bother another free citizen of Pangea about what they do with their free time as an adult who is harming no one is a small dinosaur. A coward.

I see him at work everyday.

I also see him after work more often than not, as he has been my best friend for more than half of my life. I used to look at him as long as I could without being noticed by him or anyone else. It felt as though it was important for my own inner monologue that I hold his face in frame while I wonder if he ever thinks about me in the way that I try not to think about him. It's genuinely hard to tell.

Roy is a Tyrannosaurus Rex. He's strong, confident, funny, kind, thoughtful, but...he's not very bright. I feel like if Roy has never had a thought about another man, it was simply because the idea had not entered in head through outside suggestion. I think most dinosaurs like member of the opposite sex almost exclusively because that's what they were taught. WE were all taught this simply because it's how to keep propagating all of the dinosaur species, or whatever it's called. We're at a point in our society now where it's becoming clear that we are not going extinct anytime soon. Plus, the majority of men I know commonly engage in sex with their wives that involves contraceptives and pulling out. This doesn't provide life to a baby any more than two men having sex does.

I decided that today will be the day that I attempt to get Roy into a conversation about sex between men just to see what his response is. He invited me over after work to help him set up his new TV set. He got one of those new big screen TVs that could probably literally fit a football game inside them. I'm talking live, field and all.

Roy checked the TV remote to see if we installed everything correctly, and then upon confirmation that everything was as smooth as fossilized amber, we high fived and struck our cocky "we are men and we can do anything" poses. At leat, that's what I felt like we were doing. Maybe Roy doesn't think about things the way that I do. It's not that I don't naturally feel manly. I assure you, I am drawn to manly behaviors by an innate drive...and impulse. But the fact that I'm also drawn to the manly behaviors of others...I guess I'm not as disconnected from the shame projected by many members of our society as I would like to be. I tend to point out things like gendered behavior. I tend to notice when that behavior fits like a gloves, or when, as in my case, it's a bit more awkward and uncertain.

I realized that Roy had been flipping channels for a couple of minutes now as I had seen the same channel pass multiple times...and these new boob tubes get about 18 channels. at least I wonder if he was lost in thought too. I was done with the beating around the bush, though. That's not the kind of man I am. "Roy, let me ask you something." I stated, calmly. "You give me no choice," joked Roy, halfway glancing at me for a moment while still flipping through the channels. I often have to choke back the words that I want to say to Roy, now that I've let the tension build so damn much. (please pin me to the ground) "Uhh...have you ever met a gay dinosaur before?"

"Yes, this morning in the mirror."

"Wait, really?!" I blurted out, as my other senses caught up with the fact that Earl offered a small chuckle as he had made the comment. What was the joke? I looked around the room we were in, scanning all of Roy's manners with interest. The mirrors throughout his house seem to behave fairly normal, so he was definitely saying that he was the gay dinosaur he saw in the mirror this morning. Rowdy caterpillars turn into rowdy butterflies in my stomach, as Roy interjects.

"Doesn't gay mean happy?" (to me, yes) "Oh, haha. I guess it does. Or used to. Interesting how words evolve, huh?"

"I don't know, Earl. I don't really believe in evolution. Lest you forget about what we learned every summer at bible camp."

As soon as the words, "bible camp" had left Roy's full lips, I was sucked back 30 years into a full on "this is a movie" flashback. I could see 10-year-old me sitting in a chair, and the chair was a part of a whole circle of chairs, all full of young dinosaurs, some of which I remember still and some of which are composite images constructed by my brain to fill in the gaps in my memory. I can also see Roy sitting next to me. Young Roy and young me were both giggling loudly, along with the other kids. Everyone looked as though they had just came to am abrupt stop and fell into their chairs a split second before I tuned into the memory. Some dorky looking high school aged dinosaur pressed a button on a boombox and a silly song came on, very loudly, and the kids jumped up and started sprinting in circles around the chairs. Ah yes, musical chairs back at bible camp. If I learned anything at bible camp, it was how to prioritize my seat over everyone else's. And also, this:

The music stopped and I watched as 10-year-old Earl and Roy went for the same chair at the same time and completely knocked it over, falling onto each other. It wears Roy falling onto me even though I was certain the last time I had the memory that I was the one who fell onto him. I guess it's just hard to really remember fully, because at that point nothing else existed except for his eyes which were looking into mine, full of smiles. We kissed and withdrew from each other with immediacy as we remembered who we were and that the whole class would surely be staring at the two guys who just fell in what had to be a hilarious way, but as we looked around we noticed that everyone else had experienced similar falls, and were preoccupied with their own resulting fits of laughter and joy. The room dissolved and I was spit back out in Roy's living room as he was finishing up some kind of comment he wanted to make about intelligent design or whatever. He didn't seem to notice that I had mentally checked out for a minute to remember the first time we kissed.

I'm sure Roy doesn't think about it.

Or at least not like I think about it.

I think about it all of the time.

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#earl sinclair #roy ness #ben idle #tim mcgowan #cutless #watersoon #gay #sinclairity #a diosaurstale #baby #that it the special towel for mrhontts

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into-control · 5 years

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submission:

Here are some quotes from the Trump gay romance story that I just finished reading. It’s a love story between Trump and a bellboy at a hotel lol.

SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

— My loins trembled as the scent of toupee adhesive and spray tan swept through my nasal cavity. I wanted nothing more than to turn around and see the golden god behind these scents, but I couldn’t move.

— With his oily orange skin glistening in the sunlight as if he were a soggy Cheeto, his hair unkempt and messy, like a gorgeous rat’s nest. He was beautiful. More beautiful than I could have ever dreamed.

— He shook his head and trotted off towards the elevator. As he got further and further, my eyes continued to be glued to his rear end. His gorgeous ass flapped behind him like a mouthwatering stack of pancakes in his pants. My hunger for pancakes had never been stronger.

And that’s when it happened. He looked back. He caught me staring at his donk.

— The door creaked open and there he was, handsome as ever, like a giant melting fat carrot with fake hair. He was wearing a gorgeous suit.

— He moved closer, putting his cold, dead lips on my neck. I shivered with excitement. His hands felt like an old dried out gingerbread house. I was in love. “I should tell you something” he breathed onto my neck. “Tell me later” I said as I reached for his pants. “Fine, but close your eyes” he said. I was reluctant, but obedient. I unzipped his pants and touched his cold, scaly thighs. I opened my eyes as I grabbed his thick, long… TAIL? WHAT?

DONALD TRUMP IS A FUCKING REPTILIAN! I screamed and let go of his tail. His neck flared up like that dinosaur on Jurassic Park, you know which one I mean. He hissed and leapt for the window. Leaving behind nothing but broken glass, and shattered hearts.

#this is making me want to hurl myself off a cliff thank you #submission

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elbiotipo · 5 years

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Thoughts on the feather dinosaur discourse? Some people say it's ok to draw and imagine dinosaurs without feathers bc of fun and other people are VERY. ANGRY. DINOSAURS *HAVE FEATHERS*. YOUR LIZARD!DINO HEADCANON IS INVALID! STOP IGNORING SCIENCE BC OF ~AESTHETIC UWU~. YOU'RE MISINGFORMING THE POPULATION. IF YOUR CHILD PLAYS WITH LIZARD!DINO TOYS THEY WILL BECOME GAY OR A COMMIE OR WORSE! DINOSAURS MUST ALWAYS BE IMAGINED WITH FEATHERS OR ELSE YOU'LL GO TO THE SCIENCE HELL!!!

I am 100% in favor of feathered dinosaurs, both in scientific literature and pop-culture. Not only because they have been confirmed by years of painstaking and fascinating research, but most importantly, because dinosaurs aren’t fantasy monsters from our imagination: they were real, breathing animals. To pointlessly complain that ‘feathered dinosaurs ruined my childhood’ is a form of science denialism: I don’t like what science has to say because it isn’t cool. But science doesn’t care about what is cool or not: it cares about facts and the pursuit of truth (ideally, at least...). So it’s fine if you find scaly dinosaurs more scary or whatever, but don’t go denying the work of scientists just because you liked Jurassic Park as a kid.

While I don’t actually mind all that much if say, a cartoon raptor has scales, it becomes very jarring when it shows up in more *serious* fiction. Because again, dinosaurs weren’t monsters. They were real animals. To make them scaly monsters with no regard to what they actually were is to deny the amazing work of so many paleontologists and scientists and... I dunno it just feels wrong

Of course, saying ALL dinosaurs had feathers is also a fallacy. Most likely all theropods had them, but it is likely some like Tyrannosaurus weren’t ENTERILY covered by feathers. And I think they haven’t been found in other groups like hadrasaurs and sauropods. So you now, one needs to know a little about taxonomy to see where feathers fit. Velociraptors for example were with almost 95% all feathered, and drawing one with scales is as silly as drawing a chicken with no feathers. Other taxa are more ambigous.

By the way, Science Hell is very, very, real.

I know.

I live there.

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mattyreads · 5 years

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Trump Temptations; Chapter 3: The Meeting (final)

Edit: This is being reposted because one of the images did not meet tumblr’s new guidelines despite the rampant neo-nazis, porn bots, and smut that makes it past the censors anyway.

Jack takes the short walk back to the hotel for his and Trump's second meeting. Meanwhile, I brace myself for what's going to be the worst business transaction in existence, but I’m excited to see how Jack will go from a nice suit to the leather-clad dom on the front cover.

I reached the building and made my way up the elevator, my heart and meat monster both throbbing more and more with each floor we passed.

"We" again. Jack's either using the royal "we", or referring to his Monster, who I’m starting to think is an employee at Monsters Inc. Instead of scaring small children, the Purple-People-Eater lays dormant in young gay men’s pants until it thinks it can take advantage of old rich men’s money. This has turned into quite the Orange Vampire/Purple People Eater slashfic.

The elevator rang loud and opened her doors like a white girl's legs on prom night.

I'd rather open my legs on a magical night for someone I was dating, than open my anus for a pruning, walking cesspool of racial ignorance and UTIs.

The door creaked open and there he was, handsome as ever, like a giant melting fat carrot with fake hair.

I will give Daniel credit: His Trump analogies almost make up for the unflattering characteristics he's attributed to women, now on two out of three occasions. Whatever Daniel thinks about women while drunk and attempting to write satire about a questionable businessman and politician, he probably thinks a lot worse about Trump.

Trump invites Jack inside, asks him to sit, and tells him that he looks good.

"Why did you ask me here?" I said as I sat down. "You know why I asked you here." He said as he brushed his hand against my cheek, leaving a stream of self tanner dripping down me.

Good lord, never mind the vampire jokes, Trump is apparently an Orange Lantern, but less badass and more gelatinous and oozy.

The only thing I knew was that I wanted to ride the elevator to the top of his Trump Tower.

I have a feeling Daniel was waiting the entire time to get to that joke. This was the punchline, wasn't it? It was almost cute compared to the rest of this story's analogies.

He moved closer, putting his cold, dead lips on my neck.

Maybe he's like, an Orange Lantern vampire. If I know my comic book trivia, (and I don't) there's gotta be one of those.

His hands felt like an old dried out gingerbread house.

Probably needs some lotion. I think there's a brand made just for old, greed-motivated vampires.

Trump tells him that there's something he needs to tell Jack. Jacks says to save it for later.

"Fine, but close your eyes" he said. I was reluctant, but obedient. I unzipped his pants and touched his cold scaly thighs. I opened my eyes as I grabbed his thick, long... TAIL? WHAT?

Jack screams in shock.

His neck flared up like that dinosaur on Jurassic Park, you know the which one I mean. He hissed and lept for the window. Leaving behind nothing but broken glass, and shattered hearts.

Bet You Didn't Fucking Expect That

The End... Or is it?

And that's the end. If you don't believe me, here's a shot taken on my phone:

I have to heave a giant disappointed sigh, because I was looking forward to reading about Trump's wrinkled, avocado-like testicles, and the piss-drinking kink he probably has. Maybe Trump would have Jack dress up like his daughter, and call him "Auntie" while Trump was tied to a fucking machine.

(Here’s a fucking machine if you don’t know what that looks like).

The plethora of bizarre sexual acts at Daniel's disposal are endless, the audience vast. Even good ol' vanilla sex could have been hilarious with creative analogies and the willpower to continue writing, and not pass out after being too drunk and high.

This would have been the greatest opportunity for Daniel to show the world every bizarre kink he knew, possibly enjoyed, and still say "It was for the lols." Instead, he wussed out and went for the "lol randomz lizard people" route. I'm disappointed Daniel, though I guess you did give us fair warning. Whelp, I spent my $2 on my own volition. Thank you for the chuckle.

As for myself, I hope you enjoyed my own commentary. I had a lot of fun with this, and will gladly read and commentate more.

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#donald trump #trump temptations #the billionaire and the bellboy

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logarto · 6 years

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manny: bicurious in the first movie, and aggressively straight after that. hes an ally but an annoying one that makes it about himself and carries a straight ally flag at pride

sid: ugly incel, ancestor of all twinks

diego: gay legend. reluctantly fallen for sid, is a volcel because of this. the tigress he “gets with” in the fourth movie is clearly a lesbian, theyre each others beards.

ellie: bicon!

buck: heteroflexible, but only when it comes to dinosaurs. hes a hardcore scalie. didnt notice diegos huge crush on him though, proving hes only capable of feeling love for big dinos. hes married to rudy.

#happy pride!

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orochislayer · 6 years

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you all know about “undyne is fish vriska” already but have you considered that alphys undertale is:

gay

dinosaur (kind of like a dragon) lizard scalie girl

maximum self-doubt issues

blames herself for past failures

in love with undyne (vriska)

a.k.a. kins terezi pyrope

#dammit this posted before i finished #shitpost

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