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corriganatheart · 1 year

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If I Should Stay / Jude Bellingham x reader pt 2

Requested: as requested from @evansxchalamet

Synopsis: After five months of losing one another, Jude and you finally reconcile and try to move on from the past.

Pairing: Jude Bellingham x fem!reader

Genre: 18+, heartbreaking but happy ending

Warning: mention of miscarriage

Groaning from the sound of his alarm, Jude tries to reach over his nightstand, only for his other arm to resist. He frowns, thinking he has once again slept in an uncomfortable position, but after hearing another soft groan, his eyes widen.

Instead of the new white sheets that he has become accustomed to, Jude’s eyes were met with your sleepy face and the strands of hair splattered on his arms. His eyes softened after remembering what had happened last night. It must’ve been five o clock when you guys finally went to sleep after whispering apologies to one another, wiping each other’s tears, and stating how much you missed one another. He didn’t even care that he only had one hour of sleep because you were in his arms again.

“Shit,” Jude mumbles after he hears the alarm goes off again. He reaches as far as he can without moving his head and can finally grab his phone. He had about one hour before practice but didn’t want to leave you, but the World Cup was coming up, and his teammates would kill him if he missed practice. He almost said fuck the World Cup, because your sleepy face was so calm, and it has been a while since he saw you relaxed; he can watch you all day. “Baby,” he whispers while moving the loose strands of hair out of your face. You mumble something that he can’t quite understand, but it is cute as hell. “I have to get up for practice. I’ll see you when I come back, ok?” He asked, even though he knew you probably weren’t listening. Jude smiles when you sheepishly nod without opening your eyes and pull the warm cover up more. He then kisses your forehead and quietly gets out of bed.

“Well, someone’s in a good mood,” Trent says while listening to Jude whistling to a song. It was now a rare sight to see Jude walk into the practice field all smiling and laughing. The last couple of months were filled with sad Jude, angry Jude, nontalkative Jude, and anything that no one was used to. “He must’ve finally gotten his balls sucked,” Marcus said, causing Trent to laugh. The duo then watched as Jude reached down his pocket to grab his phone, only for him to plaster the big smile that had been a rare sight. The duo's eyes soften after seeing the young player return to his old self again. “I guess they’re ok now,” Marcus says with a warm smile. Trent nod and clasp his hands together. “I was going to kill Jude if he lost that girl,” he said with a smile that had two different meanings. Marcus holds his gaze on Trent and nods knowingly before patting him on the back. “You did well holding your feelings, mate,” Marcus says.

The whole practice, Jude was all laughing and giggling with everything; it was a sight to behold. England’s National team was going to the World Cup, and Jude was excited to play. He was more excited to invite you to Qatar because that would be the first trip you guys had since the incident. It would allow him to see new places with you while doing something he loves. “Yo, Brazil is voted as number one to most likely win the World Cup,” Harry says, causing Jude to lose his smile. He frowns, thinking about the high chances of Neymar winning the World Cup while you were there. When he met you, you were a massive fan of PSG, and over time, you became a fan of Dortmund, but you were still a Neymar girl. Jude huffs at the thought of you cheering for Brazil. Although he knew you wouldn’t do that, it still makes him jealous. “Chill, dude, no one is taking Bellingham’s girl,” Trent nudges his elbow. Jude rolls his eyes and passes the ball to his teammate, who has been on his case this morning about you. “When are we seeing Y/N again?” Trent asks with a knowing grin. Jude shrugged, but the smile returned to him at the thought of you. “Hope to see her at the World Cup; we do miss her cheerleading skills,” Trent said, and Jude glared at him after seeing the flustered look on Trent’s face. It was no surprise that some of his teammates were attracted to you despite you being his girlfriend, but he knew they would never try anything with you. With that being said, many of his opponents had asked for your numbers several times when you used to watch their games, and sometimes it makes Jude insecure because some of them were much more famous or mature than him, but he can tell you never cared for that. “You trying to score the opening goal?” Trent asked him. Jude smiles, knowing the answer to that and who the dedication will go to.

You scroll through your Instagram feed to see contents you have missed out on. It was mainly about soccer since most of the people you follow are Jude’s teammates and their significant others. Many of Jude’s England National Football teammates post about their excitement for the World Cup, and you smile warmly, thinking about Jude’s achievements. You still remember when he would constantly say that he wanted to play for the World Cup before he turned 21, and here he was, being one of the youngest players to go to the World Cup. After nearly hearting all the posts, you return to your profile which still has the private lock. You used to be public about your life, but after the numerous spam comments, Jude asked you to turn your Instagram private and only allow family and friends to see your post. It was a good call because many people were spamming his account with hate comments after the dating rumors between him and the Instagram model.

You were in the middle of making some sandwiches when you heard the door slam. You didn’t have to turn around to know that Jude was coming to you. Your back was turned against him when he came up and kissed your cheek. The smell of soap combined with cologne was still fresh, meaning he must have showered at the stadium. You continue making sandwiches when he kisses your exposed neck and shoulders. It has been a while since you guys were this close to one another, and it felt good. You can tell that Jude felt the same way because his hands were wrapped around your waist while he inhaled your scent and tried to kiss as much of your exposed skin as possible. It was comforting to know that even after the distance between you two for the past months, he still cared and still cherished you as before. “I want you to go to Qatar with me,” he said while placing his head on your right shoulder. “Isn’t there a policy about players and guests staying at the same hotel?” You asked. Jude hummed and shrugged, “fuck the policy. If they don’t let you stay with me, I’ll just book the nearest hotel,” he said. “I don’t know, Jude, Qatar’s culture doesn’t really allow unmarried people to stay in the same room,” you said and turned to look at him. Your back was against the counter now, and Jude had you trapped between his arms. He stared down at you like you would disappear if he blinked. “Qatar’s culture can never separate you from me. You’re my woman, and I am your man,” he says and leans in to kiss you, but you stop him by placing your hand on his chest. Jude looks frustrated by that, but he waits for your next move. "I don't know, Jude," you smiled innocently, and he knew you would say something that would probably make him mad. "My favorite player is going to be there; I wouldn't want him to think I am taken," you tease. Jude rolls his eyes and lifts your chin up so you wouldn't be able to look away. "Everyone knows you are my woman, and I won't hesitate to beat any players if that means they back the fuck up. You know I will," he said with a smirk reminding you of his past altercation with other soccer players. You smile and finally let go of the hand on his chest, and you stand on your toes now while Jude places his hands on your hips. You wrap your arms around his neck, causing Jude to smile; you always did that before you kissed him. "It will always be you, Jude, no one else but you," you whisper before finally locking your lips with his.

Jude swears he was going to fight his coach when they told him he would have to board England's private plane instead of going with you. It was already enough that his teammates teased him during practice, but now he had to be stuck with them on the plane and them constantly teasing him about the hickeys on his neck. Trent went on and on about how he thought you were an innocent girl, and it got to the point where Marcus had to shut him up because it was getting a little too inappropriate. Jude doesn't mind the teasing, but sometimes he finds it a little annoying when Trent takes it too far, and by now, everyone knows why. "Remember, Jude, you are still young. We don't need little Bellingham's running around the field yet!" Trent yelled down the hallway causing Marcus to glare at him while Jude shook his head. It was kind of ironic because Jude actually wouldn't mind little Bellingham’s running around the house. It might be the fact that you were pregnant and almost had his child. If it was someone else, he probably would have a different reaction. Jude sighs and slumps himself down the bed, thinking about the baby again. Although you guys had promised to move on, he still can't stop thinking about the future. The miscarriage was so traumatizing that you might not want to have kids with him again. He even noticed your panicky face when you guys had sex a couple of days ago. He had worn a condom as promised, but you still looked unsure about him cumming inside. The thought of you not enjoying sex with him because of the incident isn't something he wants because he would do anything to make sure you are equally pleased. Jude sighs and looks at the time on his phone; you still have two hours before your flight lands, giving him plenty of time to fix himself up.

Jude expected you to look beautiful and perfect, but his eyes nearly popped out when he saw you walk out of the bathroom. You were wearing a champagne satin midi dress, your hair was in loose curls, and everything matched perfectly. When he picked you up from the airport this evening, you looked cute with black sweats and an oversize black hoodie. You also looked exhausted, so he offered that you guys stay in instead of going out to the group dinner, but you suggested going since the other player's girlfriends will also join. But when you told him that you’d try to look exceptional, he thought you were going with something simple, but he didn’t expect you to go all out. He wasn’t complaining; you looked perfect. So perfect that he wanted to keep you in the hotel room, just so the others couldn’t see you with that dress on.

“Jude, is there a problem?” You asked while fixing your hair to reveal your collarbone. Jude didn’t know what to do, and his pants were getting a little too tight. “Jude?” You asked again, and your voice was a little more concerned now…the sound of insecurity.

Jude inhales his breath and shakes his head after seeing your face. He was so caught up in unholy thoughts that he forgot how much this night meant to you. It was the first night since the accident that you’ll be out, and you’re most likely nervous about people’s reaction and question you about your whereabouts. He also recognizes a bit of insecurity when you fidget with the dress and try to suck in your breath to hide a little bit of tummy that you’ve gained. Jude looks at you with adoration as he walks up to you and tuck a strand of hair behind your ears. “You’re so beautiful I can’t believe how lucky I am,” he said and kissed the top of your head. You felt your nerves calm down from his words and lean into his warm arms. Everything will be ok; Jude is by your side and will never leave.

It took a while, but some fans from England spotted Jude and asked for his autographs and photos, which caused more people to approach, but it was ok; you watched from afar and even took pictures with them. Most of his fans are supportive of the relationship, though, in the beginning, they were skeptical because you guys were so young; as time passed, they realized how important you were to Jude, and they accepted you. “My girlfriend is waiting for me; I’m hungry sorry, guys,” Jude said and waved bye to his fans before he walked over to you. “Sorry, babe,” he apologized and intertwined his fingers with yours. You shook your head and smiled at him before following him into the restaurant.

Upon entering the restaurant, numerous eyes were on you guys, and the waiter recognized Jude and asked to follow him. He then kindly guided you guys to a private room far from the other guest, and upon opening the door, you could hear his teammate's loudness. “There they are! The Bellingham!” Kane shouted after spotting you guys. You smiled and wave at the his teammates who were surprised and delighted to see you. Jude guided you guys towards Marcus and sat down next to him. “Woah, it’s been so long,” Marcus said while leaning forward to speak to you since Jude was between you guys. “I know. Sorry, I didn’t mean to worry you guys,” you apologized. Marcus shook his head, “no, we are just glad you are back. It’s good to see Jude all smiley again,” he wiggled his eyebrows, causing you to look away shyly.

“Hey,” you look across from you to see Trent leaning on his right hand, staring at you. “Hi, Trent,” you smiled. Trent smiles back and continues to stare at you. You always thought Trent was very friendly, and maybe it was because he is Jude's best friend, but after one of the other player’s girlfriends pointed out Trent’s interest in you, you distance yourself from him out of respect for Jude. “How have you been?” Trent asked, still staring at you like a hawk. “Fine.” You smiled and felt Jude’s hands stiffen a little. You squeeze his hands to assure him everything will be fine. “You’re watching our game tomorrow, right?” Trent asked. You didn’t get to respond because Jude interrupted you, “of course, she is. She’s my girlfriend,” he said; more like a warning. You chuckled at his possessiveness and leaned in to kiss him on his cheek. Jude turns to you and smiles, and gently strokes the side of your face. “Ugh,” you heard Foden say with a disgusted look. “You two are so in love it makes me sick.”

The dinner went better then you thought the team didn’t plaster you with questions, mainly because they were too focused on discussing tomorrow's game. Marcus and his girlfriend left early, giving the excuse that they wanted to sleep, but everyone knew what was going to do down. Foden continues to joke about your relationship with Jude and how disgusted he is about you guys being in love, but you know he meant that in a good way. Trent didn’t say much, but you caught him staring a couple of times before he averted his eyes. And by the time you guys left, the restaurant was starting to empty, everyone getting ready for the game tomorrow.

You wave at the representatives of England’s team when you finally make your way to your bench. You and some of the other players' girlfriends are sitting a couple of benches behind the coaches. It was nerve-wracking being among thousands of people, knowing there were cameras everywhere. Some people have recognized you as Jude Bellingham’s girlfriend and took some videos causing you to freak out, but after settling down in your seat, you calmed down. This is supposed to be about Jude and his team, no one else but them. You smile when you saw the team finally entering the field. Jude was the last one to exit, and man, did he look beautiful in England’s jersey. He smiled when he spotted you a couple of benches behind his coaches, and his eyes remained on you when you guys sang your national anthem.

England was doing well. And it happened so fast you almost fainted. The commentator shouted your boyfriend's name, and the crowd screamed his name. Jude has just scored a goal and it happened so fast your heart couldn’t take it. Your boyfriend has scored the opening goal for England, and the whole stadium was he was screaming his name. Jude was celebrating with his teammates before he turned to where you were standing and pointed at you. Your eyes widened, remembering the promise he made last night. “I’m going to score the opening goal and dedicate it to you. The person who has believed me since day one,” he said while you guys were cuddling. “And what if you don’t?” You asked, even though you know he probably will. Jude turns to his side and pulls your naked bodies together. “If it’s for you, I definitely will,” he said confidently.

You felt tears falling down your cheeks as your eyes remained on Jude’s. His eyes widened from seeing the tears, and he mouthed something; I love you. The camera must be on you because the crowd got louder, but your eyes remained on Jude. He didn’t break the eye contact until one of his teammates pulled him away.

“Jude, that was incredible!” You happily said and wrapped your arms around his waist. Jude smiles and pulls you into a hug, his hand softly stroking the back of your head as he whispers several thank you. “I was able to do this because of you, baby,” he whispers, and you feel a gentle kiss on top of your head. You blushed at the thought of him showing affection when there were still cameras around. “Alright, Ima go drown myself,” you heard Foden say behind you.

You looked at the crumpled photo in your hand. The sight of it doesn’t make you sad anymore but makes you more brave and more determined, never to let that happen again. You know you and Jude still has a long way to go until your the relationship can be perfect, and that was ok. Every relationship has its ups and down, and this was one of the worse cases, but even after five months of constantly ignoring each other, you guys pulled through because you love one another, and that was the reassurance you both needed.

“Baby?” You heard call from the inside. “I’m out here!” You said, and he slid open the door to the balcony. “Woah,” Jude says when he sees the night view. It was a perfect view of his hotel and the soccer studio. Qatar was also a beautiful city, especially at night. “What are you thinking?” He asked while leaning on the rail. You smiled and showed him the ultrasound photo. Jude’s eyes soften, and he goes behind you to loosely wrap his arm around your neck. “Thank you for being so strong,” Jude says, “I should’ve been there to comfort you, but I was scared you would hate me more. I couldn’t let that happen; I would lose my mind if you left me.” He said and you felt the sincerity in his voice. “Jude, I should be the one to apologize. I pushed you away and hid the truth from you. I’m so sorry,” you said. Jude didn’t say anything, instead he placed a gentle kiss on your head. “Wait a little longer, Y/N. Once this World Cup ends and I sign on to a big league, I will give you everything you desire. I will give you the life you have always wanted, and you won’t have to worry about anything anymore, baby. Just wait, and I’ll give you everything you desire.” You smiled warmly at that, but Jude didn’t understand that you had everything already. “Jude,” you said. “Yes, baby?” He responds immediately. “I already have everything.”

Bonus

“Omg, there he is!” You happily jump from the couch. Jude frowns, watching you fan girl over Neymar through the tv screen. He was glad you didn’t request to see the game in person because people would definitely roast him. “He’s not that good looking,” Jude says with a scowl on his face. You rolled your eyes at him and peck his lips. “Don’t get your panty in a twist, babe; I like him because he is a good player,” you winked. Jude rolls his eyes and ruffle your hair. “He’s lucky he didn’t have to play me because I would’ve made sure his fake injuries were real injuries,” he said. You glared at him, causing him to avert his eyes. “Don’t be jealous! You’re much hotter, and you know that,” you exclaimed, causing Jude to smile. “I know baby, and Neymar wishes he can steal you away from me. You’re mine and only mine.”

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