#fuelup | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

leilersworld · 2 years

Text

HEAL ME, HELP ME, HURT ME. (Bradley Bradshaw x oc)

Chapter 3- The Beach day. (with a trying secret)

warnings- mentions and drinking of alcohol, experience of a hangover, revealing of large secrets, experiencing of a panic attack, crying, angst.

summary- leilani enjoys a day under the sun with her newfound friends, from drinking, to tanning, to playing an aggressive round of football, she genuinely has a good day. until she decides it’s time to wind down and gets a huge slap in the face from her past that neither her or anyone else was expecting. will she be able to place her anger aside and allow love to heal, or will she continue the rigorous cycle of feeling alone and hurt?

———————————————————————————

Leilani had awoken around nine the next morning,and surprisingly her headache hadn’t been terribly trying. She was thankful for Pennys instincts though, because as she rolled away from the wall her bed was placed against, she saw a note, Advil, and a cup of water on her nightstand. Quickly placing the tiny blue pills in her mouth and swallowing them with a large gulp of water, she picked up the note with her shaky fingers and read it to the best of her ability with her tired eyes.

Honey,

Amelia and I have left to go sailing for the day. I heard some mumbles last night about you And the pilots going to the beach, have so much fun! Don’t forget sunscreen, please. We Will be back tonight, Hope to see you then.

P.S.- Im proud of you for breaking out of your box.

Love you,

Pen.

She smiled widely at the last part of the note, and she wished she could tell Penny in the same moment how she wouldn’t have been able to do it without her, but that would have to wait for nightfall. Usually when Penny went sailing she was home no later than nine, but since they had left so early, she assumed they would be back by seven at the latest.

After folding up the note and placing it in her top drawer (with every other letter penny had written her) she sat up in her bed and reached down the sheets to grab her phone, which always sat charging at the end of the bed by the nearest outlet. She unplugged the white cord and brought her phone down with her as she placed her head back on her pillows, covering herself with her thick comforter which she had assumed fell off of her when she was tossing and turning in her deep sleep.

As her bright screen lit up she winced, and sucked in a quick breath of air at the sudden light that filled the room. Quickly turning the brightness down, she saw an unread message from who she could only assume was rooster explaining the plan, and just as she had assumed, it was. She opened her messages app on the bottom of her screen and clicked on the (still) unnamed contact with a blue circle to indicate she had a text.

Hey lei, its rooster! We’re all gonna head to the beach around eleven, make sure to fuelup on some food and water after last night, haha! Hope you can still make it, we should be smack dab in the middle, don’t worry you won’t be able to miss us. Anyways, hope to see you :)

She smiled at the sweet text that was sent merely thirty minutes ago, and after yawning she began quickly typing her message back to the man.

Hey rooster!! I’ll be there with booze and snacks lol! Thanks for the invite, last night was absolutely amazing and I can’t wait to do it all over again today. See you soon!

She quickly sent the text back before scrolling through her other socials to make sure she was kept up to date with her long distance friends and such. After laying in bed for at least a half an hour more, she finally gained the energy to go downstairs and make herself some well needed food. Mixing the slight hangover and Advil with no food would not go down well with her stomach at all. A theory she had tested with friends in Virginia, which quickly taught her the hard way that food was a necessity after a night (or day) out.

Once in the (overly) bright kitchen, Leilani deciding on toasting a bagel and having a banana for breakfast. Now, usually she would make herself a breakfast, but since she was productive last night and actually got herself to go out and do something, she gave herself some props and went easy that morning. It might sound counterintuitive to others, but it made more than enough sense to her. And as many already know, something as burdening as depression doesn’t go away overnight. It takes time, and theres really high highs and very low lows. Leilani knew that, she saw that in her mothers experiences battling it herself.

So even though she was practically on top of the moon now, she couldn’t guarantee that tomorrow she wouldn’t crash and burn and not get out of bed all day. Going from doing absolutely nothing all day to practically doing things all day two days in a row was a lot. It wasn’t too much, because she knew she could handle it, and more than just handle it she could enjoy it as well. If it had been any other group of people Leilani was convinced she would have said no to going out all day today, but something about her newfound friends drew her in, and left her wanting more.

So once she was done practically scarfing down her breakfast and quickly finishing her iced coffee she began packing her beach bag, which consisted of everything she might (or might not) need. The usuals of course, sunscreen, which she brought extra of in case the group forgot theirs, two towels, sunglasses, a book, and a few waters just in case. She also remembered her promise to Bradley to bring booze and snacks, so she packed a seperate cooler bag filled with a galore of snacks, and a variety of alcohol to choose from.

She really had no idea what the group liked other then the obvious choice of Budweiser so she packed some beers, some seltzers, and some vodka sodas just in case someone wanted something else other than beer (which would probably be her).

Considering she had completely showered yesterday, and the fact that she would get sweaty at the beach, she opted out on not washing her hair but taking a quick body shower to try and wash off the musk that laid on her from last night.

Finally around eleven Leilani had her swimsuit and cover up on, glasses on her head, hair pinned up, and everything she possibly could’ve needed for the day ahead of her. Lucky for her, Penny had taken the boat today, which meant she could take the car. She gently placed the two large bags in the passenger seat and walked around the front of the car to seat herself on the drivers side. Once the engine was ignited, she made the short (enough) drive to the beach, and as she pulled up the time was eleven fifteen, “perfect, fashionably late” she thought to herself.

She stepped out of the small car and scanned the beach to see if she could spot her friends bunched up, lucky for her she did. Also lucky for her, rooster had noticed Pennys car pull in the lot and was already on the way to help her carry anything she needed him too carry.

“You made it!” He said as he climbed over the half wall that kept the sand and sidewalk disconnected from each other.

“I made it!” She continued in the same tone as she moved around the car to open the passenger door, so that the two bags were easily accessible.

Rooster ended up carrying the snack bag, since he insisted, while she was trudging behind him with her beach bag hanging off of her right shoulder. As the two rejoined the group everyone smiled politely her way.

“I brought booze and snacks” Leilani stated as she placed her beach bag in the warm sand. Just as she had expected everyone got excited over the alcohol and snacks that were provided, and many thank yous’ were given from everyone a few times over.

For a few hours everyone alternated on what they chose to do, Phoenix and Leilani had basked in the sun while Leilani read her book and phoenix drew shapes in the sand for a bit. The boys went from aggressively throwing each other in the chilled beach water, to relaxing on the lounge chairs, to playing a (not so friendly) game of dogfight football. Which is how the girls now found themselves with their buns tightened, and hunched over in a starting position playing with the boys. It took some well off convincing for Leilani to join in, but a few pleases from rooster was more than enough.

The boys had explained it in a few simple words “Its normal televised football, but more aggressive!” Which had followed with rooster and hangman promising Leilani she wouldn’t break a bone trying to have fun with the much bigger men then her. So once they began playing, Leilani was actually overjoyed she had said yes. It was an insanely fun game, and one she had never even considered that she might have enjoyed if she didn’t try it.

The rest of the game consisted of the boys bragging about every catch of the ball or successful block against the other team, and even though Leilani hadn’t been playing like a most valuable player, she still had an immense amount of fun. Near the end of the game, rooster threw the tiny football across the beach and somehow she had caught it in her hands without dropping it on the wet sand, which meant she had successfully intercepted the ball from roosters team. Once the ball was tightly secured tucked under her right arm, laying on her stomach, she began running across the beach. It was as if another miracle brushed her for the second time that day when she reached the “end zone” lines and scored her team a point, winning the game entirely. Even though rooster hadn’t been on the same team as her, he was still just as proud and excited for her as he would have been if they had joined forces, so he ran at her and threw her over his shoulder as they both giggled like school children.

Eventually rooster had placed her gently back down on the now dry parts of the sand, and as much fun as she had, she was tired and in desperate need of water. Her legs moved for her mind subconsciously as she nearly threw herself at the cooler bag which luckily had a few more cold waters tucked away in its compartments. She grabbed out a bottle and popped it open, quickly chugging at least one- third of the bottle down, her throat desperately needing something to coat her (now) dry walls.

She had decided on checking her phone in case penny or Amelia texted her, so she walked over to her and phoenix’s laid out towels and picked up her sand covered phone from the corner of her towel. Quickly scrolling through the lock screen, she heard a voice from over her shoulder that made her slightly jump. She quickly spun around to see Bob standing behind her standing shyly.

“Sorry didn’t mean to scare you!” He said in a lighthearted tone.

“Thats okay! Just didn’t hear you walk over” she said before giggling lightly.

“Was just letting you know that you played good.” bob mumbled out as he sat on the chair next to her towel, which led her to sit down on her towel so they could converse for a bit. She hadn’t gotten to talk to him at all today, so she figured it could be good for the both of them.

“Thanks bob! So did you!”

She had closed her phone and let it land on the lock screen, now looking at his eyes so they could have a real conversation. She noticed his eyes flick down to her lock screen, and his brows furrow. At first she didn’t understand his confusion, her phone laid on the insanely wide arm of his beach chair, because she hadn’t wanted it to get any dirtier on the sand. She read the situation as him not wanting her phone placed in an awkward position for his comfort, so she quickly picked it up and muttered out an apology.

“Sorry! Didn’t want it to get dirtier so I put it there out of instinct” she said while she turned her neck away from him to place her phone under her butt so the sun wouldn’t hit it directly, but as she swung back to meet his gaze she saw his brows still furrowed and when she looked deeper into his eyes she saw a sense of false reality.. Like something he had just seen changed the original route of his life, or impacted him deeper than her lock screen should have. She looked back at her phone screen to make sure the picture she thought it was, was still the same one, and to no ones surprise her lock screen was still a picture of her, her mother, and her father sitting poolside when she was merely eight years old.

As much as she may have secretly despised her father, she still wanted to remember him, she had no intentions of making him a forgotten memory. Or of making him a ghost in her own mind, she wanted to remember him, because even though everything came crashing down when he died, she had a few really good memories with him that she would never ever forget.

“Bob?” She said in a hushed tone as she saw he was still stuck in his longing gaze.

“Can- Can I see your lock-screen again? P-Please.” He stuttered out.

Now, Leilani had always noticed bobs shy personality, but he had never ever once stuttered around her or anyone else. So as she reached for her phone with her left arm and grabbed it she came to the conclusion that something must have been considerably wrong in order for him to be speaking in the tone he was speaking in.

“Of course” she muttered out as she handed him her dirty phone.

The hot sun was beating down on them, but the sun began to set sometime in between starting their conversation and now, so bob could gaze at Leilanis phone much better now that their was no added glare to it from the rays that shone down on all of them.

Once the phone was secure in his hand he clicked on the power button and pulled his sunglasses off to examine it closer, and Leilani watched the entire time. She watched as he brought the phone in a strangely close proximity to his face, and she also saw him began to tear up. He quickly pulled his sunglasses down to mask his now seen emotions, and shakily reached his arm out to hand Leilani her phone back.

Now, Leilanis brow had been furrowed as well. Why the hell was he acting so strange towards a picture of her, and her parents. It made no apparent sense to her, so she pushed for answers that she rightfully deserved.

“Bob, whats going on?” She managed out through glazed eyes.

He rushed to pull his phone out of his pocket with shaky hands, and she saw him maneuver through the screens, and then she saw his thumb go wild as he scrolled through an unknown app on his phone. This continued for about a minute, until he seemingly clicked on something and the insane scrolling stopped. Now, his sniffles were apparent, and he gasped loudly as a hand flew to his mouth.

Leilani was now exceedingly worried about what was going on with the man next to her. She wasn’t left wondering for much longer though, because he flipped his own phone screen towards her merely a few seconds later and from the bright light she saw something she had never expected to see. The picture consisted of a little boy (who looked exactly like bob with more boyish features) so she assumed it was his child self since the picture was blurred and had a film filter over it. Standing over the boy, was a man that look bizarrely like her father, and once she looked farther, she knew that it was her father. There was absolutely no doubt in her mind, that the tall man that stood holding bobs shoulders and smiling in the picture was her own father.

“What the hell?” She muttered out.

He began nodding furiously, and extremely fast.

“Thats my father Leilani.”

And thats when reality hit her like a semi truck. She felt nauseous, like if she stood up she could easily throw up and hit people ten feet away from her with how far it would go. It felt like her lungs were collapsing in on each other, or maybe her hearts ovaries were giving out on her and her brain was no longer pumping blood throughout her bodily systems. Naturally, she couldn’t truly put the feelings she was experiencing into words, so she stayed eerily silent. As well bob, the two racking possibilities in their minds while staying silent next to each other.

She now felt tears rush into her eyes as bob did a few minutes ago, and she tried her absolute best to push them down, but she just couldn’t. They began flowing freely, and that was when she felt a hand brush against hers. Usually, physical touch would have grounded her. But now? She didn’t want anyone, not even rooster, touching her. She quickly jolted her hand away and even quicker stood up from her towel and began stomping away from bob like a young child.

“Leilani wait!” She heard his strained voice from behind her, but she chose to block it out. She slid her phone open and frustratingly struggled with the controls, as tears flooded her eyes and she began to not be able to see straight. Somehow managing to open her call log, she clicked on Pennys contact in the favorites and brought the phone up to her ear as she was still stomping away from the group. Her feet moved for her mind, and her face was now at least ten degrees hotter from the rush of blood she had experienced a few seconds earlier.

One ring, two rings, three rin-

“Hi honey!” She heard on the other end of the line.

Her saliva must have gotten caught in her throat , because everything she had planned to say quickly dissipated, and her mind was as blank as an empty chalkboard.

“Honey?” She heard penny say again.

She breathed in deeply trying to control her rising panic attack, and decided the most important thing to do at the moment was to ask penny the damn question she called for.

“Does my father have another child, penny?” Her voice went cold. There was absolutely no emotion behind it, or…none that she chose to display would be a better choice of words. She was feeling too many things at once to explain the tenderness of her heart at the moment. On one hand she was so angry, angry that her father could’ve had an entire separate life, angry that she would probably have to accept the fact that he wasn’t off doing drugs all that time, he was just with his other family. On a whole other hand though, she was devastated, and felt like she would never be good enough for anyone if she couldn’t have been good enough for her own damn father.

There was something else hidden in the surface though, something she wasn’t even expecting from herself. A very tiny part of herself, a very hidden part of herself, was so ecstatic. She had a brother! She had a god damn brother which meant that someone in her family was still here, in the flesh. Someone she could talk to, someone she could relate too!

For now though, she chose anger to be here forefront emotion, at least for the time being.

she heard penny loudly sigh on the other end of the phone.

“Honey I am so sorry, I never wanted you to find out like this” Penny said breathless on the other line.

That was when Leilani allowed herself to let out a heart wracking sob, that she was sure her friends could hear from down the beach.

“You’re kidding” she said in between heaving breaths as she slid down Pennys parked car.

“You have to be kidding penny. Its not real, don’t tell me he left us for another family p-please don’t tell me that!” Her voice got increasingly louder with every syllable she spit out. The anger now dissipating, and the sadness crashing over her like a salty wave from the ocean not even a mile away from her.

She could hear penny beginning to cry now, as well.

“Im so sorry baby..” She whispered out.

Leilani lost it. Warm tears began flying down her face, and the warm air hitting her body while she heard penny on the other line trying her best to calm down her storm of tears as well.

“I- I will be home soon. I promise. We can talk about everything then my love, okay?”

Leilani managed out an ok before she couldn’t speak anymore, and hung up the phone quickly after penny said goodbye. Her phone loosely fell out of her hand onto the paved street next to her, and she didn’t really care where it went right now. She was trying to get the tears to subside but they wouldn’t, nothing would go away. Not the burn of her cheeks, or the wrenching of her heart, or the burden of her father never loving her.

When the world seemed to go dark, she saw a tall figure quickly climb over the half wall. Even though ten minutes ago she hadn’t wanted anyone to even lay a hand on her, she was now entirely grateful that rooster was there in the flesh. All she wanted was to be held, to be protected for once in her god damn life, to be fucking wanted. For once in her worthless life she wanted someone to care enough, to just hold her while she cried.

“Come here” she heard the deep voice say from next to her on the dirty parking lot floor.

She quickly slithered her way into his arms, and allowed her limp body to fall on his toned chest. Honestly, she was sure twenty minutes from now she would feel embarrassed by the actions she had just allowed herself to take, the stomping away, the yelling, the sobbing on a mans chest she met merely yesterday. For now though, she couldn’t care less about any of that, for now she just needed comfort.

His arms quickly lapped around her waist, and pulled her closer. Close enough for her to be practically sitting on his lap, with her head still leaned against his chest and one of her arms rested on his upper body while the other gripped the back of his shirt tightly in a fist near his waist. She began to speak, while also simultaneously gripping tighter onto the back of his shirt.

“Did- Did he t-tell you” She sniffled out like a toddler.

Rooster began stroking her hair and back gently, pulling her into his neck so she had a warm place to nuzzle into.

“He did. Im so sorry” rooster continued.

She sniffled and wiped the now falling snot on the inside of her large tee shirt that she wore over her bathing suit.

“He was never around, and when he died when I was thirteen I figured he was with groupies doing drugs, but- but now I know..” Her voice began to fade as she let out another wracking sob, which just made rooster instinctively try and pull her closer. He had wished that her skin could just sink into his at the moment, because somehow they were as close as humanly possible, but still not close enough.

“Hey its okay honey, you don’t have to do that to yourself. Not now, not ever, he’s gone and there is nothing you can do to fix his mistakes. He was an awful father to you, and you never deserved that, but now you’re older and you’re stronger than you were then. I am so proud of you for making it so far in a life that has given you nothing, Leilani. You are, incredible.” He finished.

His kind words truly did help her, and also pulled her back to reality. Once she realized where she was, and who she was practically laying on, she pulled her head out of his neck and wiped her tears with the heel of her hand.

“Hey” she heard rooster mumble out.

She felt his strong calloused hands pull hers off her face, and as they were dropped gently in her lap he brought his hands right back up to her face and placed them on either side of her cheeks. Gently, he turned her neck towards him, creating a longing gaze between the two.

“Let me take care of you please, I’m pretty sure you’ve never let anyone take care of you, so let me.. just this once”

At the kind remarks she leaned into his warm hands, a ghost of a smile appeared on his face as he used the pads of his thumbs to wipe the remaining tears.

The twos eyes were still connected with each other, and Leilani swore no one had ever looked at her so loving, no one had ever looked at her like they cared so much. She wasn’t used to feeling this loved. For god sakes she had just met the group and they already felt like family.

Within such a close range of each other, Leilani could smell Bradleys musky body. For some reason after a long day of sweating and being engulfed by salt water , he still smelled amazing to her. Little did she know he felt the exact same, he could smell her faint perfume and the smell of her sun bum sunscreen, a scent he was sure he would never get tired of.

“Thank you” she mumbled out as she smiled lightly.

“Don’t thank me yet, honey. What do you say we go back to mine? I can grill us some dinner and I have a huge hammock I think you’d love, you’ll read, I’ll cook, then well have dinner and stay out talking all night. “ Leilani began largely smiling at the thought of such a heavenly night.

“I would love that”

He now nodded while smiling largely, following her actions.

“I need to talk to bob first, so lets go grab the stuff and I’ll do my bidding” she said before giggling and wiping the under part of her nose once again.

So the two walked back to the middle of the beach together, their hips bumping every once in a while since they were walking in such tight proximity of each other. When they reached the group rooster began collecting her things, and Leilani grabbed bobs hand gently from behind him. He was talking with phoenix and fanboy which he quickly left behind as he saw Leilani looking at him with brooding eyes.

They walked about ten feet away from the group, just enough chance for privacy.

“Im sorry, I know that was a lot” Leilani muttered out not looking up from the sand.

She had planned on not breaking her gaze with the sand, but that plan quickly changed course when bob grabbed her other hand, which gave her a spur of the moment prowess, and allowed her to bring her gaze to match his.

“Leilani you’re my fucking sister, I’ve waited twenty three years for you, I won’t wait any longer, okay? I am not upset with you at all.. I don’t think I could ever be. I love you already.” He said in the most confident tone she had heard yet.

“I love you so much” was all she said as she threw her arms around his neck and allowed herself to sort of fall into him.

They stayed connected in the warm embrace for a minute longer before Leilani slipped out of his tight grip and smiled at his gaze, now feeling comfortable enough to hold eye contact.

“Im gonna go with Bradshaw but uh.. Lets go to lunch, tomorrow. I’d like to get to know the only really family I have left” she said as she smiled gently, creating a lighthearted mood between the two.”

“Sounds good, sis.” The nickname made the two giggle like children.

They walked back over to the group and Leilani made sure she said all her goodbyes, specifically giving hugs to phoenix and Jake, the two whispering sweet things in her ears about how strong she was and how much they adored her. It felt really nice to feel wanted somewhere, and Leilani couldn’t imagine herself anywhere else.

Once the goodbyes were closed, Leilani and Bradley walked off together, and they continued walking until they got to Bradleys car, him opening the passenger door for her.

Once in the drivers seat, Bradley quickly started the car and pulled out of the spot he was parked in, and with that the two made the quick drive to the Bradshaw residence. Leilani couldn’t wait for what the night had in store, she wasn’t exactly sure what would come next, but she knew if it was with Bradley she would have a good time, and that was all that mattered.

#bradley bradshaw fic #bradley bradshaw x oc #bradley rooster bradshaw #rooster top gun #top gun fandom #fanfic #lei writes

4 notes · View notes