#fuck it all chug chug chug chug
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turn on the lights, this cannot last forever
watching and dreaming promo
#i woke up and saw that trailer had dropped 5 minutes before i checked my phone. something out there needed me awake#the owl house#toh spoilers#watching and dreaming#toh season 3#luz noceda#amity blight#hunter noceda#gus porter#willow park#the owl house spoilers#this episode is gonna fuck so HARDDDDD its ticking all my fav trope boxes so far from just 44 seconds of promo material omg#guys im sweating sm i sat down chugged a monster and didnt move a muscle until this was done. my demons#hdhfdhfgdjhgd guys!!!! im so unwell
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is it me or is everyone on this website so fucking miserable about everything these days. about every show every movie every book every musician/band every post regarding social issues every art piece. actually not even just on this website on all social media type platforms. the sheer amount of posts/youtube videos i see titled “x is bad and here’s why”. y’all talk about people/problems that have never even remotely crossed my mind as a possibility of existing like it’s plaguing the earth as we speak. things that people act like are major problems in [x fandom] or whatever that i’ve straight up just never seen before. in circles i’m active in. not even in a “let people enjoy things!!!” type of way. just why are you so hung up on something minor clearly making you so upset. i’m a guy who loves to fight but like why are we fighting when it’s not even fun for either of us. and you know what i’m probably guilty of this too at this point but jesus christ. whatever. can we all just sit outside in the park and smoke a blunt and chill out like we used to.
#talking to myself#says the guy who picks fights over any opinion she disagrees with#everyone should agree with me all the time about everything then we can all be happy i think ❤️#when the mcr/fob fan fighting was at its worst the amount of times i wanted to just post ‘you are all so fucking miserable ❤️ god bless’#LIKE WHO WAS FIGHTING. I NEVER EVEN SAW ANYONE FIGHTING JUST PEOPLE COMPLAINING ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE FIGHTING AND BLAMING IT ON THE OTHER SIDE#like i love this website it’s my last little corner of the internet that still feels fun for the most part#and i WANT it to stay fun. but my god.#and normally i’d be like ‘oh i’ll just unfollow some people’ BUT ITS NOT JUST SOME PEOPLE ANYMORE#again whatever i am in new orleans i am going to chug this hand grenade and throw this in my queue and forget about it
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This is like when you introduce two cats to each other and they continuously hiss until they figure out if they can be friends.
(Also, Léonie's not nearly as tall as Taliesin. She's cheating by standing on a rock.)
#skyrim taliesin#taliesin mod#your honor I love him#léonie twice-blest#my playthrough#this is my first time playing with seasons of skyrim and i'm crying it's all so pretty#my computer's chugging like a fucking steam engine but idc#it's autumn!!!
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I’m torn between posting the first chapter of the friends/enemies/lovers fic now or waiting until I finish the second chapter. I’m not used to this. How do you multi-chapter writers cope with these types of decisions
#FUCK#this is why long fics stress me out#chapter one is short and dense (intentionally) cause I didn’t want all that action/plot crowding up the dialogue heavy second chapter#but it’s for that very reason I wanted chapter 2 done so I can just put that out right after#AUGH#gonna chug wine and think on it while I keep writing#a.txt
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i'm really enjoying pathologic 2, actually. i mean, i didn't think i wouldn't enjoy it as much as i was worried it would just, i don't know, muddy the water. and maybe it will, but i'm not really bothered by that anymore. that said, i do think patho 2 took a fairly unsubtle game and increased its unsubtlety by about tenfold.
well. calling og pathologic 'unsubtle' doesn't feel quite right, but i'm not sure what word would feel right. maybe it's 'distinct in its sensibilities'. I think og patho felt more obtuse, whereas patho 2 is like. here. take it. do you get it. here is the information. do you see the themes. i am announcing them to you in such a way that you know that i am saying something thematic. i'm not far enough into the main story of 2 to be able to say that there's less reading between the lines, but it feels very much so far like there's less reading between the lines. whereas the original had a somewhat different... i don't know, affect? it felt like a hostile workplace where everyone recited shakespeare about even the mundane. in patho 2 nothing feels mundane in the first place, everything feels loaded in a way that og patho was but didn't feel, if that makes sense.
but i think that's okay. at the very least, it feels very much like leaning into the 'theater' aspect of it, which is enjoyable. pathologic 2 feels to me more like... bonus content? not to be Stuck Up For Pathologic HD but i enjoyed the feeling of grinding my face against a cinderblock, having to tease out information and conclusions. it felt like a game that you had to figure out, but you actually weren't really doing any ground-level figuring out of much; you're not a doctor, your character is, so the puzzle of Solving the Plague belongs to The Story, whereas the question of What the FUCK is This Town's Deal is your job. it's a very linear game in most respects, but all three playthroughs come through as a thematic package deal.
i so far get the impression that pathologic 2 can be played on its own and be enjoyed in its own right! however it exists to me as like. director's commentary. i'm really liking the playing with different character relationships and alternate things, the expanding of steppe language and the kin, love my worm guys, but i like it because of how it enriches my eternal mind rotation of og pathologic. sorry guys i played the original pathologic and it broke me and remade me in its image. sorry.
#sorry to be the quintessential 'guy who played pathologic and now doesn't stop thinking about pathologic'#i'm having a lot of fun trying all of the different things in marble nest though#i do worry in general that the inclusion of sprinting and fast travel will really fuck up my flow#the walking feels SO much slower now so while i was content to plod along in the original i feel like there's not a middle ground#so it feels a bit contrary to it all that i'm sprinting everywhere and just chugging bottles of water and calling it good#though at the very least it does seem like it will take some of the weight off of the 'route planning' aspect of the original#which was. honestly a load bearing part of... gestures vaguely#and i understand why people don't like it! i think that's a very reasonable thing to not like#having a game on a time limit that requires you to walk slowly across the map multiple times#i don't know what brainworms it activated in me but i quite enjoy it#on paper i should not like this game but here we are#that's not true. i play a lot of Bad To Play games for the story.#but 'guy who has no sense of time' playing 'time limit: the game' is... well i'm not arguing at the results#so that's my main Thing that i 'dislike' but even that word is too strong#i don't dislike it as much as i am keenly aware that i will have to play the game differently and i Don't Like Change lmao#that said these are preliminary impressions as i'm only about 4-5ish hours into the main game#pathologic
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facing the consequences of my actions rn :((
#i feel sick#i should notve done that last night#smoking when u can guess ur probably allergic then chugging a monster at 2am is a pretty bad idea#then having to sleep with the windows open so hopefully the smell get out of ur room#all while having some minor opened wounds (they scabbed up on their own tho idk)#also this feeling might be hunger but i’m not sure#i didn’t even write much last night aswell#just a few sentences nd some editing#and alotta frustration bcz idk what shes gonna say here#(she doesn’t know either)#ryan shut the fuck up
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trying to find somewhere to sit and do work on this stupid fucking campus has me feeling like the joker
#i hope all the freshmen fall over. when i was a freshman we had to sit in our rooms.#they just let too many people into this school greedy fucks#i just wanted to use a computer lab 😭😭😭 and theoretically i can go to the One that has like a bunch and is open but i think they’re stricter#abt food and drink? so i’ll have to chug my coffee#and WHY don’t i have swipe access for the one yet#😐 i could try like. the library. rlly don’t want to do the campus one but even the regular one is always so packed with stupid ass students#im SICK.#abby talks#ig i can go back to my work building 😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐
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Azazel looked to Clauneck for a moment before turning their eyes back to the spread before them.
"Yes?" Clauneck prodded, though their tone betrayed no emotion.
"The cards say... We will separate. But the event that will cause this separation is... A betrayal." Azazel finally managed, lowering their head.
They couldn't believe it. Why would the cards suggest that? The pair of them were siblings, twins--friends! They were family, they were all each other had! Azazel couldn't imagine either of them doing anything to harm the other.
"Hm," Clauneck sighed, looking over the cards, before taking up Soul Snatcher--the one in the 'outcome' position--and staring at it.
"It does seem as if there is little room for interpretation. Especially with such a spread and question asked." They hummed.
"But... I'd never go against Star. And she--"
"'One's loss is the gain of another.'" Clauneck interrupted, though talking to themself, almost as if they weren't listening to Azazel. "Star has always been the more independent of you two, I must say. You can never know what she is up to, the times she goes off into the Cradle on her own."
Azazel opened their mouth to protest, but... No sound came out. Why didn't anything come out? They wanted to defend Star, to insist Clauneck was just speculating, but... Clauneck had a point.
Star had been leaving to explore the Silk Cradle on her own more and more, even when Azazel warned her of the danger. So all Azazel had been able to do was do spread after spread of cards, begging them to show that she would be safe, praying that no harm would befall her.
And every time they had said so.
And every time she had come back perfectly fine.
They were already adults, after all. Was it selfish of Azazel to think they would have stayed here their whole lives?
But why did Star have to be the one to leave? Azazel didn't want that. It was too painful. They weren't brave or confident or even very sociable like Star was... It was safe near Clauneck, so there they had stayed, day in and day out.
Clauneck wasn't really great company, being noncommittal in just about everything, and Azazel didn't think they could stand being alone with them for very long.
Would they be there for the end of their days, all to stay safe? Would Star gladly turn her back and leave them behind for her own freedom?
Perhaps, instead of being betrayed, they would...
Azazel snapped to attention, not noticing Star's arrival. They hurriedly grabbed at the cards still on the ground, shuffling them before handing them back to Clauneck, who took them without even blinking.
"Just. Doing some readings. That's all." They managed.
"Hah, see, that's why you're so much better at that kind of stuff than I am." Star laughed, moving to sit down next to her sibling. "You spend all your free time practicing--I still haven't gotten five-card spreads down very well, I always forget the order!"
Azazel managed a weak laugh, but their thoughts were still swirling, so it died rather quickly.
"So, where'd you go this time?" They asked.
"Oh, well I went to visit that cute girl I told you about a few days ago," Star began, donning a mischievous smile. "And turns out she's free tomorrow night! So one thing led to another, and I've got a date!"
"Ah, that's... That's nice." Azazel sighed. Star hooked up with people often, so they admittedly didn't actually know the specific girl she was referring to, but that wasn't really what bothered them.
"You think you'll ever find somebody to settle down with?" They asked after an awkward pause.
"Probably." Star said with a shrug. "But that'll likely be after I find some place to live."
"Oh... You're... Thinking of living somewhere else?"
"Ah, c'mon, Azazel, we gotta sometime. Clauneck's not exactly a typical parent, but I think almost 25 years of freeloading's gotta get to almost anyone."
Clauneck, smartly, made no comment. They merely let the sheep talk between themselves.
"And it'll just be you, then?"
"What, you playing the dependency card now?" She scoffed, raising an eyebrow. "Azazel, I love you, but... Even twins gotta split up and live their own lives, you know. I'd be lying if I said I never thought we'd always be near each other, but... It's just not realistic. Not in this world."
Ah...
Azazel stared at the ground, fists clenching. So the cards were right, then.
"But hey, that won't be for a while, so--"
"But it'll still happen." Azazel cut in.
Star turned to look at her sibling, confused.
Azazel stood up, and looked down at Star, brow furrowing.
"Then... Rather than let it happen, rather than depending on the cards for assurance, I'll... I'll forge my own path!"
Star now stood up, cautiously raising a hand to reach for her sibling, but they stepped away, eyes narrowing.
"I'll walk my own steps, I'll build my own life... And I'll do it without you!" Azazel snapped.
"What are you--Azazel!" Star cried, but their sibling was already running. Before Star could go after them, they had vanished into the shadows of the night.
Star stared in silence, unsure what to do, before slowly turning her gaze to Clauneck for some sort of answer.
"Skilled as they may be with reading the cards," Clauneck began, without looking to Star. "They fall victim to the same reliance on them many do.
"And little do they realize, by attempting to challenge them, they end up obeying them all the same. The cards only spoke of one betraying the other. It never said which one."
Clauneck was still staring at the card they had picked up initially--Soul Snatcher.
"But did they ever realize the nature of the betrayal... ?"
Star knew it was pointless to probe Clauneck for any meaning to their ramblings. They would often talk in circles, and one would only end up more confused than before.
"My, it seems I chose a rather inappropriate time to pay a visit." Came a new voice from the shadows.
Star and Clauneck lifted their heads, and from the darkness appeared a looming figure, one the pair recognized instantly.
It was Shamura.
"There is no need for you to apologize on their behalf, lamb." Shamura said simply. "It is of no insult or concern to me, who is in the middle of a breakdown."
"Of course, thank you..." Star managed, but frowned.
"Is something the matter?" Shamura asked, tilting their head.
"It's just... I shouldn't have said anything to them about what I was planning. But now they've run off. They don't do well alone in the slightest, and it's dangerous at night, so if they get hurt, it's my fault, and--"
"Swallow that worry, lamb." Shamura interrupted, tone level, but still commanding. "You are not suited for it."
Star nodded slowly, looking to the ground with her head still bowed.
"What brings you here on this evening, bishop?" Clauneck took the opportunity to ask, despite knowing the answer already.
"A private matter." Shamura said, glancing at Star.
Star, who had glanced up, didn't need to be told twice.
"In that case, um, please excuse me Bishop Shamura. Clauneck. I think I will go look for Azazel. Perhaps I can calm them down..."
"It is dangerous, as you said." Shamura noted, raising a claw to make Star pause. "A few of my attendants wait just past the perimeter. Take one as a guide."
Star paused, staring at the bishop incredulously. Shamura was actually offering her a means of protection?
"Th-Thank you Bishop Shamura!" She then stammered, bowing once more. "Your mercy is boundless."
And with that, she left, vanishing just as quickly as her sibling had into the darkness.
Shamura stared after her for a moment, before their eyes turned back to Clauneck. For them, it was business as usual. This hadn't been the first time they had arrived while one or both of the sheep had been around, but it was easy enough to give them reasons to vacate so they could speak to Clauneck in private.
"You'll need to make your decision soon, it seems." Clauneck said with the faintest chuckle. "Lest you risk losing the benefit of choice."
"This turn of events has certainly made me take pause." Shamura murmured. "Both of them are quite dependent, thanks to your rearing. They long for safety and attention. But Azazel had the weaker will, up until now, and would have been the prime candidate."
"And now?"
"I am unsure. I was hoping that Azazel's fear would make them an easy vessel to deal with, should Narinder have no choice but to use them. But they've revealed their true colors, their true potential for initiative. Starwatcher, on the other hand..."
"What about her?" Clauneck asked idly.
"Desperate for outside approval, making her easy to string along. But it would work both ways. Narinder knows how to target desires. However, she's also more selfish, thinking of herself above all else."
"Quite the conundrum, indeed."
"Mmm. If I'm to set up the lamb of prophecy properly, I will need more time. Azazel must be found."
"You still haven't told your fellow bishops of the prophecy?" Clauneck asked, tilting their head.
"I want all the pieces in place." Shamura scoffed.
"A fitting stance for the wearer of the Purple Crown."
Shamura let out another sharp exhale, but then turned away.
"You'll receive your payment for the past year's work shortly. That was what I had originally come to report. Along with seeing how the lambs were."
"Very well. Thank you for the notice, Shamura."
#usurper au#ch3#deckard berserk#starwatcher berserk#clauneck#shamura#(chugs a can of mtn dew before slamming it on the table)#these sheep are so fucked up and it's all because of a tree that isn't actually a tree
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letting turtles hurt my fweelings from 1990 to now
Last Ronin absolutely broke my heart, especially since I’m also the youngest and I gained one (1) new fear after finishing it
#fancomic shitposting#no idea what I was in for#Watched Rise like 'Oh if they made this what else has been made?'#SILLY FUCKING ME#granted I barely scratched 2003 and I still have alllllll of 2012 to chug#but I've seen the kids collected clips of 2012 on youtube#holy fuck those were your childhood turtles?#one day I'll fully understand that CPR Misery Reese's Puffs triangle meme with all the other TMNT on it#Next Mutation being between Reese's Puffs and CPR remains the undefeated assessment of that show#When I read the 2012 voice cast I had the UGLIEST cackle#The piefucker was Leo???#And then Oz the Werewolf was Leo???#Fucking Pinky and Yakko was DONATELLO?????!#Chester Copperpot's successor was RAPHAEL?#RUDY WAS RAPHAE-- oh wait that makes sense actually#Last Ronin spoilers
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sooo ive finally gotten around to (binge) playing bug fables after years of knowing of/having it and ive made it very far in!!! like 32+ hours im (minimal/very vauge spoiler ahead) just past the giants lair, actually! speaking of the giants lair, i just have ooone statement when it comes to it:
what the FUCK what the actual FUCK!!!!!
#bug fables#somewhat spoiler-y rants below here be warned#anyways warnings aside#WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUUUCKKK#WHY DID IT BECOME A HORROR GAME ALL OF THE SUDDEN WHAT THE SHITTT#FELT LIKE I STARTED PLAYIN L1TTLE N1GHTMARES OR SOME SHIT WHEN THOSE EYES POPPED UP#one fucking CLIPPED ME and made me fight that stupid spider thing and i gasped so hard i almost choked#like when i saw maki was fighting with us i was at first like 'yay omg maki wahoo yippee 😁😁😁'#then exactly two seconds later i went 'wait a minute 😅😅 why do we need maki here 🙂🙂'and then continued to get my ass beat for 20 minutes#anyways that area is spectacular 10/10 i am NEVER going back#if there's like hidden really good items \_'-'_/ oh well too bad im not gettin em /lhlh#i hate sleeping I wanna play more neow#but also im really close to the end of the game and like. no :( i don't wanna be done :(( I wanna go on more adventures :(((#s okay tho after this i get to chug that Fandom Juice w/o fear of spoilers#and ofc i still got things to do in game#handful of side quests. loose ends to tie up. boss rushes to complete#so i get to keep my silly little bug friends for a bit longer :)))
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good afternoon the sleep token brainrot has truly taken hold of my brain and i am currently sitting outside a lecture theatre frothing at the mouth over this. the autism is spreading. also i Get what you meant about blood sport i think there is crack in that song
HOLLAND!!!!!!! GOOD MORNING!!!!!!! I’m so happy sleep token has grabbed you because they’re such a good band and their lyricism is SO up your alley. Every time I think about the ending of Blood Sport I want to supernova into a million pieces because what the hell. What the fuck. The room below version gets me also. God does this band know how to make a song that cuts through a body.
Dark Signs is going to have me biting things. And you, if you want! I’m so obsessed with the narrative of reaching for someone even though you are not perfect (and might never be right for them) because they make you better. And it is not enough. The desire to be wanted and to be loved above all else…… it does things to me
Turning the autism around on you: I finally got around to listening to your Skott playlist and I remain in awe of her talent. The Burning Incense acoustic was so good that it is just burned in my brain, and Firetrucks on Fire. HOUGH. The irony in the name. The need to save someone even though you cannot do anything about it. I will be listening to this playlist again it is so well crafted
#IT IS ALWAYS A PLEASURE TO HAVE YOU IN MY ASKBOX!!!!#I’ve been listening to Nazareth a whole lot lately because the breakdown. the fucking breakdown. good god does it hit a certain part of me#the piano and the guitar and the chugging. it is all so good#music in general lately has been so good I am feeling very immensely autistic over it al#also I hope to get to the dms soon! I was planning to yesterday but then life got in the way :( I will see how today goes!!#holland !!#the sheer strength of will it took not to blorbo post about the songs as well. god is strong but I am stronger
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I hope I am not just a creator of questionable content, but also a friend
#hellsing#hellsing ultimate#vids#yeah I’ll put this in the tags fuck it everyone deserves to see this#her ass would NOT listen to Honkin’ Down The Highway from the 1977 album The Beach Boys Love You#😁😁😁😁😁😁😁 i love being able to create creating things is amazing humanity is beautiful#I can sit in my room make this then go outside and see birds and trees the world is a lovely place#billions of people are all doing their own things there are so many paths in life and so many ways people can find joy#yknow what maybe an album per character isn’t reasonable for the public but hell I can do a song per character that’s easier to explain#less lore with lyrics than idk years of verbal abuse drug abuse financial strain incest?? that’s a fun one to get into#fun fact! it’s apparently not incest if your cousin denies that your wife was actually his daughter 😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃 anyway that guy drowned#gotta finish PowerPoint 2 before I can go onto beach boys hellsing…but soon. soon. powerpoint 2 research is chugging along
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University ever pushes you so low you have to go buy a couple of beers? /srs/neg
I'm gonna vent in the tags for a moment humor me for once /gen
#No but I'm serious this place is a nightmare /neg#Venting in the tags#humor me for a second. you go to this uni and they promise you a place that will teach you how to become an artist#on both like. morality and skill level. they feed you with bullshit for MONTHS. “oh mistakes are fine! they make you grow!”#or “oh this is a community we work all together there are no discriminations this is a safe place to learn and improve”#and we like. work on this projects - THAT WE ARE NOT PAID TO WORK FOR SO *WE* GET TO PAY FOR ALL THE MATERIALS AND SHIT FOR THEM.#to like “help the community” or whatevrr because “artists are born to inspire others and bring joy” and blah blah blah. BUT. LIKE. THE THING#THE THING IS. NONE OF THESE PROJECTS WILL END UP ON OUR CURRICULUMS. WHAT WE WORK 6-7 YEARS FOR ARE NOT SEEN AS REAL EXPERIENCES.#AS IF WE'VE DONE LITERALLY NOTHING FOR 6-7 YEARS. AND LIKE. THE PROFESSORS ARE SO RACIST AND DISCRIMINATORY AS WELL.#If they don't like you they WON'T EVEN GIVE YOU THE EXAM. BECAUSE THERE'S NO WAY TO DEMONSTRATE IF YOU WORKED OR NOT. IT'S UP TO THEM.#THEY DECIDE EVERYTHING FOR EVERYONE AS IF WE ARE SOME SORT OF FUCKING COMMUNIST KINDA BULLSHIT WORKERS.#Someone fucks up? *WE* FUCK UP AND EVERYONE PAYS. Someone succeeds? *WE* SUCCEED AND EVERYONE GETS THE CREDITS.#THIS IS ALSO WHY NONE OF THE WORKS WE DO END UP IN OUT CURRICULUM BECAUSE ITS MADE SO THAT *THE UNIVERSITY COURSE* DID IT AND NOT *US*.#IT'S FUCKING BULLSHIT AND I CAN'T EVEN GET OUT OF THERE BECAUSE IF I DO MY PARENTS WILL KICK ME OUT CUZ THEY DON'T WANT ME TO BE AN ARTIST#So I'm trying to STUDY for the exams and the “professors” are getting mad at me that I'm not staying 10 HOURS IN THAT MOTHERFUCKING ART LAB.#WORKING AT THEIR NONSENSE PROJECTS THAT WILL NOT END UP IN MY CURRICULUM.#“Oh if you're not willing to put all your efforts for the course this is not the place for you” BITCH I *AM* PUTTING ALL MY EFFORTS!#THIS EXAM IS *LITERALLY* PART OF THE COURSE!! WHAT KIND OF FUCKING BULLSHIT ARGUMENT IS THAT!!!!!#Istg I'm gonna cry I want to kms /NOT SERIOUS#I'm gonna cook dinner. chug my lemon beer. and try to study like a normal person and beg this shit will end soon#Don't worry I'm not going to become an alcoholic I just need something. anything and I'm ABSOLUTELY not gonna start smoking I hate it /srs#tw alchohol mention#alcohol mention#tw smoking mention#smoking mention#vent#tw vent#// mike speaks
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time to flood the dash. cracks my knuckles
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Accidentally made coffee with about 8-10 times the ideal amount of grounds (its technically drinkable but only with an absurd amount of 1/2 & 1/2 and even then it still tastes very bad) but ! I did at least manage to weigh down my warp for the last little bit. Only one side of the connectors snapped so it was all lopsided, and once i hit the tape i either had to detatch the apron bar and do this or tie it back down but with the exact matching length with a warp still attached, and this seemed a lot easier. Downside is that i have to pull the loom forward so i can fit back there and remove all the weights every time i need to advance the warp, but still. Theres only the smallest bit left.
#did not get a moment of sleep#did lay down for several hours if only to stop the number of sleep deprivation induced fuckups from reaching critical mass#bc its hard to fuck up all that rapidly when laying in bed#but i am very unhappy. and very tired. and more than a little bit insane.#99% sure the overwhelming majority of my insanity is just the compounding effects of having had chronic insomnia my entire life#altho it didnt actually bother me very much until i hit my twenties#and now i desperately need sleep and want to sleep so bad all the time and. dont. and cant. and it blows.#anyway. pretty sure this coffee will not be better when lukewarm so i should probably start chugging it#weaving
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"forgiveness is the only way we move forward" skill issue. people who say shit like this have either never actually experienced anything intentionally/unfixably traumatic, OR have a severe self esteem issue that's wrapped around to making them think forgiveness = personal absolution. it's not. forgiveness should be EARNED, not doled out like a reward for a barely-there apology for horrific behavior. and some of you really dont get that certain people Shouldnt be forgiven for their intentional acts.
#Taka Talks#'the LORD preaches forgiveness!' then he can forgive my abusers all he wants but I'm not fucking going to. for instance.#some of you didnt just DRINK but rather CHUGGED AND INHALED the christian koolaid of hating yourself for existing#i dont hate myself. i know i deserved better.#i still do. we all deserve better.
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