#flutty talks
Note
I really love your Elemental fanarts so much. I like your adorable style for them and how great you are with shading/lighting. I am impressed with the details and intricacy of each image from you. I wish that I was as talented and skilled with art as you. I bet that the film will be awesome!
The way you drew Wade is especially cute, I love him a lot.
AAA 😭😭😭💖💖💖 Thank you so much!!! This is super sweet of you to say omg I appreciate all of that sm
Also same!!! Elemental is going to be an amazing movie for sure and I can’t wait for it aaa
Here, have a quick doodle of Wade & Ember I did just now lol
#this put a smile on my face fr agh 🥺💖#u guys are so kind 💕💕💕#flutty talks#ask#elemental#wade x ember#pixar
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Good Stuff ~ Stray Thoughts: Sparkle’s Seven {MLP}
Ah, what a wonderful day to have 200 episodes of pony time.
Meanwhile, at the School of Doom.
That explains so much about Twilight
Ooh, burn.
You’ll do great, Starlight. The episode will not forget your efforts.
Wait, the story is written by.... the voice actors? HOLY SHIT, EVERYONE IS HERE! This is a more joyous celebration than SU’s finale when it had all those writers and that turned out,,, not so great.
Ladies, you’re both still awful for before.
Oh snap, heist episode?
Heist episode!
Goose gods!
And come on, those geese deserve some respectful designs.
C’mon Rarity, tons of sibling rivalries have some bs complications
MY LITTLE PONY: Friendship is Homeland Infiltration
Applejack’s gonna put her leg game into sicko mode.
Damn, I guess being around the same people for years can have people guessing your moves without a sweat.
I like that growl she did
Rarity, no offense, but you’re great
And way to be honest, AJ
Okay, I did not expect this turnaround
This is gonna be memeface galore, isn’t it?
Noire time.
Isn’t it a glass of milk, Dash?
Pinkie in space is not something I thought I’d like
Applejack has an alter ego to being a background pony?
WE’RE SPIES! WE LIKE FRIES! WE DON’T HAVE HIVES! CUZ WE’RE SPIES!
Fluttyshy being badass is not something I needed until now
Exploding things will make you lose, Spike
Huh, guess Apple Core wasn’t joshing
Pinkie, fire can’t survive in space.
You did great, Pinkie, with no casualties too.
Huh, secret guitar weapon. Nice, AC
Thanks snitch. “Dude c’mon” What? A snitch is a snitch.
Zephyr Breeze? Seriously, how did he get here? He’s a stylist.
Rainbow Dash,,,, is dressing in style.
Seriously, why is he there?
Tch, crack ships. Am I right ladies?
Rarity is strong enough to take out a chunk of brick wall.
OH SHIT, HE DIPPED! What are ya doing, show?
You do you, hipster.
WE’RE SPIES! WE LIKES GUYS! MS. PUELLAAA,,, LIKES PIES!
This is the first time they’ve mentioned gliding ever.
ZOINKS SCOOB, the plan’s gone awrrryyyyy.
How do you know it’s a false alarm, Luna?
I mean, if four out of 7 are in the building, things were running pretty smoothly I might say.
WE’RE SPIES! AND WE’RE STUCK INSIDE!
Huh. Real talk I’m surprised Fluttyshy’s concern of claustrophobia comes from the concern of others and not just her own fear of everything like early depictions of her.
That’s rough, buddy.
That is the most wholesome shit I’ve ever heard, Fluttyshy
Secret doors, babey.
Damn, Twily. Cut him off like that?
Firebrand’s right, the guards can be useless
Huh, Applejack helped the plan out
I like that Zephyr saw Rainbow pass by but didn’t say anything.
Maudie!
LEG GAME STRONG.
How did they not recognize any of this going on? You’d think with Shining knowing Twilight’s every move that,,,, they recognize the ponies responsible.
I love that in the efforts to sound peaceful, Flutty sounds remarkably ominous.
See people, Geese just want love not hate.
HAHA, you didn’t expect them to be in the room as the treasure huh, Twi?
What a twist.
And you honestly deserved that, Twilight, for seriously cutting him off like that.
Thanks Luna, looking good as ever.
Also Luna did more in this episode than Celestia truly has. Mad kudos to you, Moon Booty
Aw. Ya gonna make me cry, buddy.
Kudos to you as well, Spike. After 200 episodes, you earned your keep.
So what did we learn ya’ll? Well, I’m an only children so I can’t relate as much, but I believe that if you have siblings that you care about very much, don’t underestimate them because they might surprise you more than anything. And in any respects, even if they’re not blood, the person you love can be considered family regardless.
MY LITTLE PONY: Friendship is Family
#my little pony#mlp#mlp season 9#sparkle's seven#friendship is magic#cartoons#thoughts#Good Stuff#great episode
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Yes, he wants to trade the game he knows for shelter
It's true that all the men you knew were dealers
who said they were through with dealing
every time you gave them shelter.
Questa notte cerco il mio rifugio tra i biglietti consunti di spettacoli mai andati in scena e tutti i miei libri, con le loro dediche così antiche, così lente, così irriconoscibili. Cerco il pezzo che sfugga ai miei occhi asimmetrici e stanchi, ma che non inganni quello squarcio blu profondo che ho sulla fronte, che tutti abbiamo sulla fronte e che non possiamo mai governare.
Like any dealer he was watching for the card
that is so high and wild
he'll never need to deal another.
Tutti cerchiamo alla fine lo stesso posto, sfidiamo lo scacco di quella intelligenza che non ci comprende, per lo scarto che eccede la condizione che sappiamo di rappresentare, ma che mai ci basta: così lui ch’era tempesta sopraffina, così la mia culla dolce e profonda, così io stessa e l’inquietudine che ho incisa addosso.
He was just some Joseph looking for a manger.
Quando mi ha chiesto gli occhi non sapeva cosa cercare. Non lo sapeva ma io gliel’ho regalato, senza battaglia alcuna, e così ha visto quei miei sorrisi così sinceri e le mie parole pesanti e delicate, la vulnerabilità primigenia e così umana, così vicina al nostro ricordo di una me bambina e forte, col destino magico ad aleggiarle in testa, quasi fosse una aureola rarefatta e tanto, tanto amabile.
And leaning on your window sill
he'll say one day you caused his will
to weaken with your love and warmth and shelter.
And then taking from his wallet
an old schedule of trains, he'll say
“I told you when I came I was a stranger,
I told you when I came I was a stranger”.
L’appuntamento alla stazione dei treni vicino al nostro porto, col mare a proteggere i ricordi ed i ricordi come ammonizioni a scegliere un nuovo vivere, a celebrare quel nostro viverci come tentativo sbiadito di un’epoca fatta sempre e solo di luna: magica e fredda, splendida e glaciale.
But now another stranger seems
to want you to ignore his dreams
as though they were the burden of some other.
Come posso chiedermi migliore dei tuoi strazi, come posso osservare la stessa nave di sempre affondare tra i flutti sempre uguali, senza scorgere nei miei stessi occhi la vecchia luce del peccato? Non siamo più angeli ma macchine di vita arrugginite dal gioco, principi d’abitudine stesi ogni mattina al sole per lasciar evaporare gli ettolitri di lacrime assorbiti nell’arco della notte, nel nome incerto e sbiadito di ogni nostra bellissima notte. Non so cosa sei diventato, ma so cercarmi in certi fiotti di bile e di sangue e di dolore, e tu sei così bravo ad accoltellare, a disgustare, a smettere di amare.
Ah you hate to watch another tired man
lay down his hand
like he was giving up the holy game of poker.
And while he talks his dreams to sleep
you notice there's a highway
that is curling up like smoke above his shoulder,
and suddenly you feel a little older.
Oggi c’è una trapunta colorata a carezzarmi gli occhi, ma posso vedere attraverso la trama del suo filo antico e sconfitto, e vedo uno spirito spezzato, vedo i miei stessi crucci e tutti i cocci rotti nascosti oltre questa finestra d’amore. Fa caldo dentro, è così freddo fuori.
It's you my love, you who are the stranger.
Avrebbe dovuto dirmelo, da subito, da subito io l’ho saputo, ma è più dolce affondare, come i suonatori di violino morenti sul pontile di un ipotetico Titanic, amando la morte come si odia il dolore. Il peccato, amore mio, il peccato è il medesimo e ci uccide tutti. Il peccato sa conoscerci ed io, senza poter nemmeno accorgermene, sto ancora parlando di te. Attraverso me.
Well, I've been waiting, I was sure
we'd meet between the trains we're waiting for
I think it's time to board another.
Che non piovesse, quella giornata che abbiamo passato sotto al ponte, poi, è l’elemento dissonante in una pioggia di tempistiche perfettamente ridondanti, in una catena in fondo così logica di sentimenti antichi quanto la terra, che abbiamo fatto rifiorire noi soltanto, che da quei momenti per sempre ci risuonano. Siamo un diapason stonato in questo flusso di eventi autistici, come le mie lenti rosse e appannate, che non vogliono vedere. Dobbiamo andare avanti, dicevo, e tu eri fuggito già. Non lo sapevi.
Please understand, I never had a secret chart
to get me to the heart of this or any other matter.
Vorrei il mondo potesse finalmente guardare a me come ad una creatura armonica e in asse con questa asfissiante norma. Vorrei saper assorbire tutto il chiacchiericcio ed i discorsi da bar, da sala d’attesa, da ascensore. Solo gli aeroporti, amore mio, solo gli aeroporti dell’anima riecheggiano quelle voci da corridoi vuoti e bui, la sostanza di cui sono fatte le mie sinapsi. Non sono così brava, io, non puoi chiedermi di affrontare questa barca di parole tutta da sola. Pesano sulla colonna vertebrale oltre la testa, e sul cuore.
Let's meet tomorrow, if you choose
upon the shore, beneath the bridge
that they are building on some endless river.
E’ sempre e comunque un gioco al ribasso, uno scorcio di illusione sotto i fari accecanti del tempo che passa, che ci sorpassa e ci ha portato via l’orizzonte. Dove hai immaginato il tuo orizzonte?
Then he leaves the platform
for the sleeping car that's warm
You realize, he's only advertising one more shelter
And it comes to you, he never was a stranger.
Finiamo il tutto nel grande demone del tradimento, una volta ancora, con più sentimento. Con la disillusione sempre a portata di mano, ci guardiamo riprendere a camminare. E’ un pensiero sospeso, e noi, adesso così esperti, lo lasciamo scivolare.
And you say: “Ok the bridge or someplace later”.
Eppure siamo senza colpa, chiusi in categorie che ci definiscono già come incomunicabili. Trasformabili, ma non traducibili. E non vuoi, non voglio cambiare più. Questa l’unica verità comune.
I told you when I came I was a stranger.
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Like the River - Sashea (By Scarlet)
A/N - this is a little unnecessary sequel to Like the Stars (which you can find here). Although I really liked the ending to Stars I had this annoying voice in my head that kept saying ‘why did you let the cancer win?’ So I wrote this as a big fuck you to cancer basically, this is for the survivors.
T/W - this is basically super angsty all the way through until right at the very end when it gets flutty. Some fluff throughout and some very mild Pearlet hints. Hope you enjoy guys!
Like the River
Cancer wasn’t supposed to be hereditary. Cancer wasn’t supposed to be able to be passed down. Cancer was just bad fucking luck. It was an invisible devil that came out of the shadows and destroyed lives. Sasha thought she’d seen the back of it, she thought she’d dealt with cancer enough for one lifetime. It couldn’t be passed down. So when cancer struck twice in the Velour bloodline that was unfortunately just a hideous coincidence.
The hardest part had been telling Shea. She already knew really, they both did. When Sasha first started getting sick and coughing up blood they knew it wasn’t going to be good. But cancer? That was too unfair for words.
‘It’s…that isn’t it?’ Shea sniffed biting her lip, not even being able to bring herself to say the word.
‘Yeah, it is.’ Sasha choked.
‘No, no it can’t be.’ A small tear rolled down Shea’s cheek. ‘Not again! I want a second opinion.’
'Baby, its cancer.’ Sasha took hold of her hand. More tears fell from Shea’s eyes.
'No, that’s not fucking fair. Why should we have to go through that again? No, this can’t be happening, it just can’t be fucking happening.’
After that Shea had started sobbing, her words becoming incoherent. She’d cried for days and Sasha tried her hardest to hold it together. She wasn’t sure why, she was the one that had been diagnosed, why wasn’t she the one breaking down? But Sasha remembered when her mother had been told she had the C word and Shea had tried her hardest to stay strong for Sasha. Sasha knew that if she crumbled it would make it worse on Shea. She had to try and stay positive and keep telling Shea she was going to beat this. Sasha wasn’t sure if she believed that anymore though. The cancer was doing a number on her, she felt weaker every day. How was this fair? She wasn’t even forty and she had a family. She was a good person, she was kind and friendly and she gave to charity. Why was the world doing this to her?
Leaving Shea was Sasha’s biggest fear. When Sasha’s mom passed away it had been the hardest thing Sasha had ever gone through. She knew if she hadn’t had Shea to help her through it she probably wouldn’t have made it through it. But what happened to Shea if Sasha didn’t make it? Sasha tried not to think of such things because she wanted to believe she was going to be ok. It was hard to stay positive though when the cancer was slowly eating away at her.
——————————-
She ran her fingers over her bald head, staring at her reflection in the hand mirror, almost feeling like that broken seventeen year old all over again. Only this time, Sasha hadn’t chosen to shave her hair off. This time, like with her mother, the chemo had taken it. She’d continued shaving her head for years after her mother passed, still showing solidarity with her even after she died. She eventually let it grow back, her head was always getting sunburnt in summer and freezing in winter and she got fed up with it. But now it was gone again. Sasha wouldn’t mind, she knew she could pull off a bald head, but now she was too weak to paint her face anymore she just looked sick. She knew she was sick, but she didn’t want to look sick.
The door creaked open and Sasha put down the mirror. Her eyes met Shea’s as her wife stepped into her hospital room. Sasha rolled her eyes, she’d do a lot worse but she didn’t have the energy.
'Not again.’ She was breathy, just like her mother had been. Shea was having horrible flashbacks to Darcy. 'You promised.’
Shea came to her bedside and kissed Sasha’s head.
'No I didn’t. I was very careful not to promise. You asked me to promise and I changed the subject.'
'You did not have to shave your head again.’
'I know I didn’t.’ Shea took hold of her cold hand. 'I wanted to. Solidarity remember. Fuck cancer. The whole shebang.'
'You’re an idiot.’ Sasha chuckled and started coughing. Shea used her free hand to rub Sasha’s back.
'Yeah but I’m your idiot. Forever and ever remember?’ She held up her left hand and wiggled her wedding ring in Sasha’s face.
'Don’t remind me.’ Sasha smiled a little. The door opened again and she barrelled in the room, like she did most rooms. She was too tall and gangly and because of it she was like a bull in a china shop.
'Mom! I couldn’t find the vending machine.’ Darcy Velour-Couleé, named after her late grandmother, spoke louder than she should have. Shea shushed her and rolled her eyes.
'It’s ok Darcy, just calm please.’ Shea sighed. Sasha scrutinised her daughter, it was always so strange looking at Darcy because she looked so much like Shea even though the girl was adopted and that couldn’t be possible. She had Shea’s intoxicating dark eyes, beautiful dark skin and long dark hair. At least she did.
'Darcy, take the scarf off.’ Sasha told her. She saw Darcy look at Shea before she shrugged and took it off revealing her beautiful locks were all gone. 'Did your mom make you do this?’ Sasha looked between the two of them.
'No I wanted to do it!’ Darcy insisted.
'You’re fourteen you don’t know what you want.’ Sasha told her.
'You told me you shaved your head when your mom lost her hair.’
'And I did.’ Sasha folded her arms.
'So I’ve done the same.’ Darcy folded hers too.
'I was older than you Darcy. Oh god what’s the school going to say?’ Sasha unfolded her arms and put her hands to her face. Shea stroked her head.
'Calm baby. No stress remember? Stress makes the cancer strong.’ She kissed her head. 'We wanted to support you the way you supported your mom. We look super cute right?'
Sasha looked up at Shea and then at Darcy. It was true they both still looked adorable with their matching shaved heads.
'Sorry.’ Sasha breathed. 'I’m just going stir crazy in here. I don’t mean to stress. I really do appreciate it.’ She took hold of one of Shea’s hands and one of Darcy’s. 'Just as long as Aja and Farrah don’t turn up in bald caps.’ She tried to laugh.
'No I talked them out of that this time. Aja really did look like a gremlin in that.’ Shea laughed.
'How are you feeling mom?'
'Like the cancer is winning.’ She admitted. Darcy had made Sasha promise she would never lie to her about her illness. They’d kept the C word quiet at first because they didn’t want to worry Darcy and she’d gotten mad when she found out. So from then on they promised not to lie to her. So Sasha didn’t.
'Oh mom.’ Darcy’s eyes flooded with tears and she fell into her mom’s arms. Shea wrapped one arm around Sasha’s shoulders and used her free hand to stroke Darcy’s back.
'You’re strong Sasha, you’re going to beat this.’ Shea told her, like she remembered telling Darcy Senior once before. And just like then, Shea wasn’t sure she believed it.
'I hope so.’ Sasha sighed. 'God I hope so.’ She stifled a yawn.
'Do you want us to come back later? You’re tired.’ Shea spoke softly.
'I’m always tired.’ Sasha sighed again. 'Just one of the perks of cancer. But please stay, I just like hearing your voices. Darcy tell me about school.’
'Nothing new has happened since I saw you yesterday.’ Darcy sat on the edge of Sasha’s bed and dangled her long spindly legs over the side.
'Then tell me again. I don’t care if I’ve heard it before I just want to know anything. Everything.' Because I might be running out of time.
'Uhm ok…well I told you about Travis right?’ The teenager swooned a little over her high school crush.
'A few times.’ Sasha closed her eyes and reached for Shea’s hand.
'Well so the other day in chem lab…’
Sasha could feel herself drifting off, the sound of her daughter’s voice and the feel of her wife’s hand was a comfort. The only thing that wasn’t a comfort was the constant thought she had every time she closed her eyes recently. What if this is it? What if I never wake up again? She hoped Shea knew exactly what she meant to her. She hoped after all these years Shea knew. My love for you is like a river. My love for you is like the stars in the sky. My love for you is like the trees in a forest.
——————————-
Sasha hadn’t told Shea she was going to therapy sessions. Her doctor had encouraged her to go to these group sessions the hospital was running. It was for cancer sufferers and their families to give them a chance to talk or to just listen to others stories. Sasha had been going to them on a twice weekly basis for three weeks and was yet to share her story. It helped a little though, knowing you weren’t the only on facing your own mortality. Towards the end of that day’s session the doctor, Dr Gemini looked up at Sasha.
'Sasha, you seem more subdued than usual.’ She smiled softly at Sasha. After her wife and daughter had shaved their hair, of course she was.
'I’m just worried about my family.’ Sasha admitted.
'I notice they haven’t been to a session?’ The doctor raised an eyebrow.
'No, they don’t know I’ve been coming.’ She was usually quiet, she didn’t know what was making her talk today.
'Why don’t you tell us about yourself Sasha? It might help to get it out there.’
Sasha sighed and looked at the faces in the circle. She knew all of their stories but they knew nothing about her. She didn’t really want to talk but what the hell else did she have to lose?
'Well I’m Sasha, I’m thirty eight years old and I have cancer.’ She chuckled a little but it just made her start coughing. 'When I was seventeen my mother died of cancer. She was the only family I really had and it damn near destroyed me. I never in a million years thought I’d have to deal with this horrible disease again.’ She blinked back her tears. 'I’m not scared for me you know? I’ve kinda of resided myself to the fact that I’m probably going to die. But I have a wife and a teenage daughter and I have no idea what will happen to them if I die.’
'Tell us about them, your wife and daughter.’ Dr Gemini encouraged her.
'Well my wife, Shea, she’s my rock. We’ve been together since we were fifteen, she was my high school sweetheart if you want to get corny about it. She was there for me when my mom got sick, through her diagnosis and her chemo. She held my hand when I decided to shave my head for her. And she held my hand at her funeral. It’s not fair she has to go through this again.’ She blinked back more tears. 'And Darcy, she’s only fourteen. I mean she’s a smart fourteen year old, she knows exactly what’s going on. But I wish she didn’t. I wish she didn’t have to go through this. She should be out living her life and not having to worry about me the way I had to with my mom. It ruins a childhood. It makes you have to grow up before you’re ready.’ She ran her hands over her head. 'I hate that I’m doing this to them.’ A small tear rolled down her cheek. She knew how her mom must have felt now.
'Cancer effects everyone, you can’t hide it from the people you love no matter how much you wish you could.’ A male voice spoke up from across the circle. Sasha looked up into his bright blue eyes. He was here a lot in the sessions but she couldn’t remember his name. 'I didn’t tell my partner for a really long time about the cancer. I hid it from him, I tried to pretend I was ok for months even once I was diagnosed. It was my lies that almost tore us apart.’ He told her, it was as though he was just talking to her. His hair was shaved at the sides and grew long on top. She wasn’t sure if that was where it was growing back after falling out or if it was a fashion choice. There was a man next to him with long dark hair and dark eyes. He took hold of the other man’s hand.
'I didn’t understand how he couldn’t share that with me.’ The brunette spoke. 'We’ve been together years and it broke my heart that he didn’t think he could tell me.'
Sasha wasn’t sure she’d seen the brunette before. 'I’m Jason by the way, Matt’s partner.'
Matt, that was the blue eyed man’s name, it came back to Sasha now.
'Sometimes I wish she didn’t know.’ Sasha admitted.
'What happens if you die though?’ Matt asked her bluntly. 'What happens if you die and she didn’t know you were even sick?'
Sasha swallowed. She knew Matt was right.
'I know. It’s just hard. She doesn’t look at me the same anymore. She looks at me like I’m broken, the way she did when my mom died.'
'Maybe you should bring her to a session?’ A red haired woman spoke up, Sasha vaguely thought her name was Ivy. 'I wouldn’t have coped in these sessions without my husband. Now I’m in remission he doesn’t come so much. I’m only really here to help others these days but without Keith I never would have been able to open up to a room full of strangers.'
'She’d probably like to come. I guess it would be nice for her to speak to other people’s partners going through the same thing.’ Sasha agreed, although she wasn’t sure she would actually tell Shea.
'It really is nice to know there are likeminded people out there. Sometimes you can feel so alone seeing someone you love go through that.’ Another man spoke up, his name might have been Danny. His partner was at his side, Sasha couldn’t remember his name but she knew he was the one with the cancer. Sasha nodded, she knew they were right but it didn’t change things. She wanted Shea to be as far removed from all this as possible.
'Yeah, I guess.’ Sasha clammed up again. She didn’t want to talk about this anymore. She wished she hadn’t said anything to begin with. The session ended soon after that and Sasha hurried back to her room. She’d been back barely a few minutes when there was a knock at her door and then it opened. The man with the long dark hair from her session stepped in her room, she’d forgotten his name already. The medication made her so forgetful. He came over to her bed.
'Hi, sorry to bother you, I just…I don’t know. I feel like you needed to talk but I got the impression you didn’t want to do it in there.’ He smiled softly at her. 'I’m Jason. Jason Dardo. My partner Matt has cancer. He’s not responding well to treatment.'
Sasha bit her lip. We have something in common then.
'Sasha. Sasha Velour-Couleé. And before you say anything I know it’s a mouthful.’ Sasha extended her hand to shake Jason’s. Her hand was like ice but he was used to it with Matt.
'It’s certainly interesting.’ Jason smiled.
'So he really didn’t tell you he was sick?'
'Not for a while no. I was really mad at him when I found out he had cancer and he’d kept it from me but I get why he did it.’
'I wanted to keep it from Shea. After what we went through with my mom I didn’t want to put her through that again.'
'But you did tell her.’
'It’s hard to hide it when she finds your bloody tissues.’ Sasha laughed but ended up coughing yet again. Jason handed her a glass of water and she smiled her thanks. 'How old is he?'
'Twenty six.’ Jason bit his lip.
'Wow that fucking sucks.’ Sasha sighed.
'Yeah it really does.’ Jason felt tears in his eyes. 'We still have options though, he’s not responding to his current treatment but there’s still hope for him. What’s your prognosis?’
'Not great.’ Sasha put the water on the side and laid down. 'The doctors haven’t strictly said that I’m going to die, not in so many words. But it’s in the things they don’t say you know? I remember it all too well with my mom. I want to stay positive but I am pretty sure I don’t have a lot longer left on this earth and I’ve come to terms with that in myself. But fuck it’s going to destroy my family.’ All of a sudden Sasha started crying. Tears flooded from her eyes at an alarming rate. Jason sat next to her on the bed and cradled her. He was basically a stranger but Sasha found it so comforting. 'I don’t know how Shea will cope. Sure she has Darcy but she’s only a kid. Oh god I just love that woman so fucking much. I love her like the river. I love her like the stars. I love her like the trees.'
'What does that mean?’ Jason sat back so he could look at her.
'It’s just something my mom used to say. It kind of became mine and Shea’s mantra.’
'Cute.’ Jason smiled. 'If you don’t mind me saying, you really suit bald.'
'Thanks.’ Sasha smiled a little. 'I would feel a lot more confident with it if I could put my make-up on. I don’t feel like myself without it. But I’m too weak and my hands are too shaky.’
'I could paint you.’ Jason smiled at her but Sasha frowned.
'Uhm have you ever put make-up on someone before?’
'Try all the time.’ Jason laughed. 'I’m a drag queen.'
'Oh.’ Sasha smiled again. 'In that case please, you’d be doing me a favour.’ She pointed to the top draw and Jason got up and pulled her make-up bag out.
'Wow heavy. How much make-up do you have?’ He laughed sitting back on the bed.
'I’m a bit of a make-up whore.’ Sasha confessed. 'Shea’s actually always said I paint like a drag queen.'
'Well then this should be easy for me.'
'Don’t you need to be with your boyfriend?’
'He’s sleeping. He conked out right after the session.'
'Wouldn’t you rather go home then?’
'Are you kidding me? I wouldn’t pass up an opportunity to paint a beautiful woman. Now sit still and let me make you fabulous.'
————————
Sasha almost fell asleep while Jason was painting her several times, she was always so damn tired. Just as he was finishing up the door opened. Shea and Darcy exchanged a look.
'Uhm hi mom?’ Darcy frowned seeing the stranger sat on her bed. Jason turned to look over his shoulder. He smiled a little at the two of them.
'Oh hi. I was just finishing up.’ He put the finishing touches to Sasha’s glittery lipstick and got up off the bed. 'Stunning darling! You look sickening!’
'As opposed to just sick?’ Sasha laughed. He handed her the mirror and she gasped. She did look stunning. She’d missed thinking that about herself. She put the mirror down and looked at Shea and Darcy. 'What do you think? Jason did a great job right?’
Shea’s heart swelled. It had been a long time since she’d seen Sasha smile, and the spark was back in her eyes for the first time since she was diagnosed.
'You look amazing baby.’ Shea smiled. 'But uhm…sorry who is Jason?’
'Oh god how rude of me!’ Jason stepped forward. 'I’m Jason, my partners on this ward and I met Sasha today. You must be Shea and Darcy?’ He smiled at them before looking over his shoulder at Sasha. 'Damn Sasha you didn’t tell me what a stone cold fox Shea is! I am very much gay but damn.’ He looked back at Shea. Sasha giggled a little from the bed.
'Don’t mind him.’ She told her wife who was just staring at Jason in confusion.
'I should go.’ Jason sensed he’d out stayed his welcome.
'I’ll see you soon yeah?’ Sasha called to him.
'Of course honey! If you ever need someone to paint you again, Matt’s room is just down the hall.’ He blew her a kiss. 'It was nice to meet you.’ He smiled at Shea and Darcy.
'You too.’ Shea was still confused. Jason left the room and Shea and Darcy stared at Sasha.
'Where did you meet him?’ Shea scratched the back of her shaved head.
'I’ve been going to these group sessions. His partner has cancer and he just came to talk to me after our session and one thing led to another and he painted me. It’s amazing what a little make-up can do because I feel so much better already.'
'You look like your old self.’ Shea smiled. She came around to her bedside. 'Why didn’t you tell me about the sessions?'
'I don’t know.’ Sasha shrugged. 'I wanted you to think I was coping. But I’m not.’
'Oh mom.’ Darcy came to the other side of the bed and held her hand. 'You can tell us these things.'
'I know baby.’ Sasha sniffed. 'I thought maybe the two of you could come to the next session in a couple of days? It’s supposed to be helpful for families too.’
'Of course we will baby.’ Shea stroked her cheek. 'I’m sure the school will understand if I have to pull Darcy out for the day.'
'I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I’m really not dealing with this all that well.’ Sasha finally confessed.
'Neither are we.’ Shea choked and a small tear rolled down her cheek. Sasha reached her icy hand out and stroked the tear away.
'I love you like the river.’ Sasha sniffed.
'I love you like the stars.’ Shea sniffed in reply.
'I love you both like the trees.’ Darcy added, taking hold of both of her mom’s hands. I would give anything in the whole world for my mom to be ok. Please god let my mom be ok.
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'This is my wife Shea and my daughter Darcy.’ Sasha introduced her family at the next session. The others in the room said their hellos. Sasha held both of their hands.
'Thanks to some things Jason said to me, I realised I needed to tell them everything. They are just as much a part of this as I am.’
'Welcome Shea and Darcy.’ Dr Gemini smiled at them. 'Is there anything you’d like to talk about?'
'I’m scared.’ Darcy spoke up. Sasha squeezed her hand. 'My moms have always been honest with me and I know her prognosis isn’t good. But what the hell am I supposed to do with that? How am I supposed to be expected to concentrate in school and try and get on with my life when I’m terrified every time my phone rings? Every time my phone goes off I think the worst. I’m scared. I need both of my mom’s.’ A small tear rolled down her cheek and Sasha’s heart broke. Look at what you’re doing to your daughter.
'I’m scared too.’ Shea confessed. 'Sasha is all I’ve ever known. She was my first and only girlfriend. I fell in love with this beautiful creature when I was fifteen years old and I don’t know how not to love her. I’m scared to lose the love of my life. I’m scared to lose my best friend.'
Sasha hated this. She hated this so fucking much. Of course she knew what this must be doing to them but it was ripping her heart out to hear them say it. She looked across the circle to Jason and he smiled a little at her. She smiled back even though she didn’t feel much like it.
'I’m ruining everything.’ Sasha suddenly blurted out, a few tears leaving her eyes. 'This is fucking shit.’ She stood up and raised her voice a little. She never swore in front of Darcy but in that moment she was too overwhelmed to keep it in. 'Fuck cancer!’ She yelled, although it made her breathless to do so. 'Fucking fuck cancer right in the fucking ass!’ She started really crying now, slightly conscious that everyone was staring at her. 'Fuck cancer.’ She sobbed. Jason stood up and came to the middle of the circle where she was stood.
'Fuck cancer!’ He yelled too, taking hold of Sasha’s hand.
'Yeah, fuck cancer!’ Matt joined them. Before they knew what was happening, everyone in the room stood and started yelling the words fuck cancer. It was a strangely cathartic moment. It felt like taking cancer by the horns and telling it, fuck you, you can’t break me. You can take my hair, you can take my energy, and you can even take my sanity. But you can’t take my spirit. The screams echoed around the room as the words kept getting yelled. Shea came to Sasha’s side in the madness and stroked her tears.
'Fuck cancer.’ Shea whispered with a small smile.
'Fuck cancer.’ Sasha repeated.
'We’re going to show cancer what you’re made of. Sasha, you are stronger than that disease and you will beat it. You’re a Velour baby, the strongest of the strong.’
'I’m going to kick cancers ass.’ Sasha laughed and for the first time in a long time she didn’t cough.
'I love you beautiful.’ Shea kissed her.
'Like the river?’
'The river, the stars and the trees.’ Shea kissed her again. 'You, me and Darcy, we’re going to do this together. We’re going to kick cancers ass and wish it had never messed with Sasha Velour-Couleé.'
'Let’s do it baby.’ Sasha threw herself in Shea’s arms and whispered in her ear, 'Like the river.'
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Months passed and Sasha still didn’t feel great. She felt better admittedly but not as good as she should. Not as good as a woman who was beating cancer would. One day Jason came by, he did most days but today felt different. He had a different air about him.
'I just wanted to come and say goodbye. I don’t think I’m going to be around much anymore.’ His eyes welled with tears.
'Oh my god, Matt? Is he ok?’ Sasha’s heart pounded and Jason’s tears over flowed. But then a smile spread to his lips.
'He’s got the all clear. He’s coming home.’ He cried happily. Jason didn’t think he’d ever cry with happiness again. Sasha pulled the boy into a hug.
'Oh sweetie I’m so happy for you both.’
'Me too.’ Jason sniffed when the hug ended.
'Will you promise me something?’ Sasha asked him softly.
'Anything.'
'Promise me you and Matt will go and live your lives. Leave all this cancer shit behind you and live full lives. Marry him, have kids; live life to the fullest.’ Sasha smiled.
'I promise.’ Jason wiped his eyes. 'Fuck cancer right?'
'Fuck cancer.’ Sasha sighed a little.
'You have to promise me something too though.’
'What’s that?’
'Stay strong Sasha. You’re going to beat this, I can feel it. This isn’t the end of you, you’re going to live a full and happy life. You’re not going to die this way. You and Shea and Darcy have years left together you just have to stay positive. If anyone can kick cancer in the ass it’s you Sasha Velour, I know it is.'
'I hope you’re right Jason.’ She sniffed a little, feeling her own tears were close. Jason leant in and gave her another hug and kissed her cheek. When he pulled back he handed her a piece of paper.
'That’s my number. I want you to call me if you ever need anything. Even if it’s the middle of the night and just want me to come and paint you.'
'Thank you.’ Sasha held the paper. 'It really has been such a pleasure meeting you Jason. You’re a good kid.'
'And you’re an incredible woman. Never forget that.’ He kissed her cheek once more and headed to the door. 'Oh and Sasha?’ He spoke again once he reached the door.
'Yes Jason?'
'Shea’s an amazing wife. You got really lucky there. Never let her go.’
'Oh I won’t.’ Sasha smiled. 'I love that woman like you wouldn’t believe.’
'Like the river?’ Jason smiled at her.
'Exactly.’ Sasha smiled back and then Jason waved his goodbye and he was gone. And Sasha was happy for him and Matt, she was happy Matt had kicked cancers ass. But there was a part of her that ached with jealousy. Why not me? Why can’t I beat this?
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More months passed and it was getting harder to stay strong. Sasha was getting sick and tired of this hospital room. She wanted to be back home. If she was going to die she wanted to do it in her own home with Shea and Darcy by her side. She had a consultation today to talk about her progress and her options and after she was discharging herself. Whatever happened she was leaving this place and she was leaving today.
After her consultation her head was spinning. Her eyes were slightly blurry with unshed tears and her whole body was shaking. This was it. No more living in limbo anymore. She knew her fate. She picked up her phone and dialled the first number she could think to call. He answered after three rings.
'Jason? It’s Sasha.’ She started crying.
'Oh god honey what’s wrong?’ Jason panicked.
'Can you come to the hospital? I need to see you.’ She sobbed. She knew she had no right to pull Jason away from his life and back into the world of cancer, but she needed him right now.
'Of course I can, I’ll be right there.'
No questions asked, he was coming at the drop of a hat. Sasha loved the boy for that.
A few hours later Jason had done her make-up to perfection right down to her signature swooping eyeliner and glittery lipstick. He’d helped her dress in one of her favourite bright red dresses because she was still quite weak. When she looked at her reflection she barely recognised herself. Actually she did recognise herself, but she looked like pre-cancer Sasha. She looked like Sasha Velour before she’d been taken over by the hideous disease. She threw her arms around Jason and hugged him as tight as her weak arms would allow.
'Thank you so much. It’s been a really long time since my reflection didn’t make me want to throw up.’ She kissed his cheek lightly to avoid getting lipstick on him.
'You are so welcome beautiful.’ He winked at her. 'Now come on, let’s take you home.’
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Sasha’s legs were shaking a little as she headed up the front steps of the house. It had been such a long time since she’d been home. It was Saturday afternoon and she could see the TV on in the living room through the window. Darcy was on the couch eating a candy bar. Through the other window she could see Shea busying herself cleaning the kitchen. Shea always cleaned when she was nervous, Sasha would be willing to bet the house was spotless. She turned to look over her shoulder at Jason who was sat in his car. He smiled at her and gave her an encouraging nod. This was it, she turned back to the door. It was time to tell the two people she loved most in the world her fate. Her hand shook as she reached for the door handle and pushed the door open. Shea jumped and her mouth dropped when she saw Sasha enter the house. Darcy jumped up and dropped her candy bar on the floor.
'Mom!’ She yelled and ran at Sasha, throwing her arms around her. Sasha felt a little breathless from the force in which Darcy had attacked her and Shea must have noticed because she came over and pulled Darcy back.
'How many times Darcy? Mom’s fragile you can’t throw yourself at her.’ Shea sighed. 'Baby, what are you doing here?’
'I discharged myself. I had a consultation today and I decided if I was going to die, I wanted to do so at home.’
'A consultation? You didn’t tell me.’ Shea’s eyes watered. 'Oh god baby, it’s not good is it?’ Her tears over flowed and Darcy’s bottom lip quivered.
'Mom? Mom please don’t say it.’ Darcy’s tears over flowed too and then Sasha’s did.
'My babies.’ Sasha reached for them both and held their hands. 'My love for you both is like a river, it flows and flows. My love for you both is like the stars in the sky, it glows and glows. My love for you both is like the trees in a forest, it grows and grows. And whatever happens in life, I need you to know, I’ll carry a piece of you both with me wherever I go.’ She spoke through her tears.
'Sasha?’ Shea asked her. 'What did the doctor say?’ She was pretty sure she already knew but she needed to hear Sasha say it. Sasha exhaled and squeezed both of their hands.
'He said…he said…’ she choked a little. Fuck cancer. Kick cancers ass. 'He said it’s over.’ She choked again. 'Babies, I’m cancer free.'
Shea and Darcy looked up at her wide eyed, their sad tears instantly turning to happy ones.
'What?’ Shea smiled a little. 'Are you serious?’
'I’m serious baby.'
'Oh my god!’ Darcy squealed as Sasha pulled them both into a hug.
'It’s over my loves. I came face to face with the devil and I survived. I kicked cancers ass.’
'I always knew you would.’ Shea held her tight. They both knew that wasn’t true but it didn’t matter.
'Fuck cancer!’ Darcy yelled excitedly.
'Darcy Velour-Couleé!’ Sasha scalded her, pulling out of the hug. 'I don’t know what kind of ship your mom has been running while I’ve been gone but strict mom is back now and I won’t tolerate language like that.’
'It’s kind of exceptional circumstances though.’ Shea shrugged. Sasha softened looking into her wife’s eyes. She laughed a little.
'Fuck cancer.’ Sasha chuckled.
'Fuck cancer.’ Shea and Darcy repeated.
'I can’t believe it’s finally over.’ Shea dried her eyes on her sleeve. 'I thought cancer was going to a part of our lives forever.'
'I told you at my mother’s funeral Shea, I am a strong, smart, capable woman. Did you really think I would let this stupid, ugly disease beat me?’ Sasha smirked, her eyes sparkling. Shea stroked her cheek and kissed her glittering lips.
'Not even for a second.’ Shea smiled at her wife. Sasha Velour had always been Shea’s inspiration. She knew at fifteen years old that this girl was something special. She knew all those years ago, the first time she’d seen Sasha that she would change her life. And she had, in every possible way. Sasha Velour was the strongest, bravest and just all around greatest person Shea had ever met. And she thanked her lucky stars every single day that Sasha was hers. The three of them hugged again, so many emotions overwhelming them. Shea kissed Sasha’s head and their eyes met.
'I love you like the stars.’ Sasha mouthed to Shea. Shea’s heart swelled and she smiled at the love of her life before she mouthed back, 'I love you like the river.'
#sashea#shea coulee#sasha velour#angst#tw illness#tw cancer#violet chachki#pearl liaison#rpdr fanfiction#submission#like the stars#lesbian au#s9
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Have you ever met Flutty's other friends? If so what do you think of them individually?
If you mean the mane six, well yeah, I have interacted with them all one than other time, pinkie is such a sweetie, she always welcomes me with a fluffy hug and invites me to any party she gets to do and bakes me the most delicious cakes I have ever tasted in my life x3, rarity designed my cufflinks and bowtie with an expensive silk that repels water, she's always up for a good conversation, applejack is quite the hardworker, haven't talked with her too much but she always receives in such a gentle and welcoming way like if I was part of the family, twilight helped me with the advanced studies of musical theory and I helped her with forbidden information that she didn't had on her library, I helped her to translate some books written in russian, we used to make sleepovers on the tree house until she became a princess and it got destroyed ;-;, and well rainbow...she just stared at my ass everytime we saw each other, got wingboners while her face turned red then flew away, one day she just smacked my flank biting her lip and said "sorry baby I had to ❤", then we don't see each other much often since then ;///u///;'
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Hi! Do you really feel that this season is not very deep or "tip of the iceberg" as far as meta material (i.e. your tags about carver era being tip of the iceberg)? Cause as far as what's on my dash, it's been meta after meta after meta, and it all looks diverse and substantial. I was just wondering, what is it that feels different to you? I mean i guess it just depends on personal outlook, i've just been seeing LOADS of stuff.
Pretty much, yeah. The difference in Dabb era and Carver era is night and day. And whether you think that’s a good thing or a bad thing is entirely subjective but it most definitely is A THING.
Season 9, in particular, represents a stark structural contrast to the hot thematic mess of season 12. In season 9 one theme informed the other, which reflected another, which was given several beautiful visual short-hands, which all unfolded like flower in the morning sun. I may not have *enjoyed* the smell of said flower (because I’m a bitter Cas fan that is also 1000% done with the Dean tragedy narrative), but to say that it wasn’t a work of art would be an understatement. Season 12 on the other hand… it feels like season 5 trying to be like season 1 or something. Going back to Carver era, Amara, visually and symbolically, stood for something in the structure: Dean becoming an adult too fast and the collateral damage the Dean/Sam relationship produces when you only truly care about one person, among other things… The British Men of Letters? Lucifer in season 12? They really don’t symbolize into anything concrete as outlined by the narrative. They aren’t painting a greater picture of a conflict within our characters (like how S9 dealt with Angels and illustrating Cas’ journey through Hannah into S10). They are simply there because the story needs some kinda of conflict. Sam and Dean aren’t currently being given any tension or “problems” with each other, so the antagonists are just *there* reflecting nothing deeper at all. Sam doesn’t have a plot. Cas doesn’t have a plot (we can’t even count Lucifer here because the honor of dispatching him went to Sam, who hasn’t had a B plot with him since 11x09). Much like Cas, Crowley is vaguely just there, not really worried about Hell, despite it still being shown that demons don’t see him as in charge anymore. In fact, Dean is the only one with a B plot to another character, that character being Mary. Sam and Cas are instead regaled to being support for this plot.
Conversely, everyone had their own B plot in season 9. We saw Cas struggling with his place and that was informed by Dean kicking him out of the bunker due to how we are shown Dean will always put Sam’s life first, regardless of how it damages himself. Crowley’s arc fed the greater addiction arc and also how Cas struggles with being in the between as well. All this also reflected the civil wars that went on in Heaven and Hell. See what I mean? Every theme and character informs the next, a funhouse of mirrors. Season 12 has none of that. The only person driving the story is, well… Mary. She gives Dean a B plot (but not Sam for some reason) and the theme of “questionable parenting” is the only theme that is really present in all of the 8 episodes thus far. Lady Toni is given a child and we see her caring side wrapped up in her cold and dignified ruthlessness. We see the split in her priorities, and she chooses the job first and foremost, otherwise she’d be at home. We see the John Winchester mirror from 12x03, yet we do not see Mary face this reality in her own sons, the results of such parenting. Mary then leaves and we see bad parenting again for 12x04 (it is here that you’ll have to forgive me because I really haven’t been paying attention to names this season since noticing the difference in structure). This time it’s a mirror for the damage done to Sam, a psychic child. The narrative again hangs John Winchester out to dry but doesn’t make Mary face reality. How can it with her offscreen? The next episode also deals in bloodlines and carrying evil. A descendant of Hitler is needed to bring Hilter back (and omg I was so distracted by the horrible back and forth sway to the camera in several key scenes that I honestly can’t remember what most of this episode detailed, sorry). At minimum, there’s something about a fate bound by blood that you don’t want there. So that’s one bad parenting theme for Dean and two for Sam. We then get to 12x06 and see twins born into the hunting life. Their father is now dead but they now have the opportunity to bond with a new female family member, one who hated the hunting life but came to respect its calling. Mary is both in this episode and and present throughout in its themes. Even when she left the life, she didn’t leave. She learned to make a life anyway and that it eventually landed in her death, leaving behind two children who become hunters. This all serves into Dean’s worry over Mary as well. Dean is worried that Mary will die, as the episode reminds us that all hunters are eventually killed by the life and that even when some learn to have happiness while still hunting, they are all still doomed to this fate. The title for most well structured episode in Dabb era goes to 12x06 by a mile. Then we move onto 12x07 and the theme is dropped, unless you want to count Lucifer talking about God’s parenting for a few seconds. The Lucifer plot, from what I can see up to this point, only exists to explaining the contractual absence of Misha and Mark. Lucifer is doing stuff just to be doing stuff and it really doesn’t fit anywhere for any good reason. Then we move onto 12x08 and he finally fits back in as we are back to the parenting plot. Lucifer, to keep his cover as president and instead of simply giving his assistant implanted sex memories, rapes said assistant and fathers a nephilim with her. This in itself doesn’t really fit into Mary or John’s parenting history, but it does run along the theme of parenting in general. And throughout all of this Mary does not once, NOT ONCE, textually confront how John’s parenting messed up Sam or Dean. Thus, the theme goes literally nowhere and seemingly only exists to tell us what we already know about John. This might change? I don’t know? But so far the season is mostly just a structural wash with its one and only B plot not coming to a head at all. I’m honestly at a loss. To be fair, the season ain’t even halfway through yet so my opinion on the structure could easily improve. It’s just you normally shift beats midseason, text or no text, and Dabb seems to definitely be moving at a different showrunning pace than his predecessors.
Now… can you write meta on any of the material from this season? Sure, if you wanna beat the dead “John Winchester sucks” (and the hunting life sucks) horse some more. Can you write meaningful flowing structural meta on it? Nah, bruh. There’s no compound structural foreshadowing that you can write on it at all. I could not have told you the outcome of 12x08 if I tried this year, not like I called the midseason of S9 from several episodes back. I suppose there might be a disconnect here with me also for what gets the term “meta”. I actually can’t tell you the last time I saw or read a honest to Chuck meta essay on the show (because I’m old school meta community and don’t count discussion pieces). Those to me are simply meandering discussions. "Meta" to me is essay writing: choosing a solid topic and exploring the topic - writing about its different angles and having some sort of cohesiveness about it that stands on its own. What a lot of people call “meta” these days doesn’t pass as meta by my understanding of the term when I entered into fandom. And there’s certainly no one writing structural meta that I’ve seen. Fluttie wrote season 7 structural meta, Sarah wrote season 8, and I wrote season 9. I don’t know if anyone wrote anything on seasons 10 or 11 ( @dustydreamsanddirtyscars maybe? I know Jenny’s wrote a lot of smaller meta pieces on Carver era as a whole), but a piece could be wrote on it… unlike with season 12. That could change, however, if the parenting theme is brought into text, with Mary confronting and acknowledging John’s bad parenting (and her own unintended absent in facilitating said outcome or guilt therein) in a way that informs Dean’s repression in particular, but as things currently stand I wouldn’t count on it. The mirrors are too weak and don’t tackle the central issue, just kinda dance around it.
In Dabb’s defense, Carver has had way more time to tell his story. Against Dabb tho, it seems Carver always kinda knew what story he wanted to tell. Dabb is almost running this thing like he has no idea what comes next. And not in the way like how Carver wasn’t sure if Abaddon would possess Dean or if Dean himself would become a demon at the end of season 9, a decision you could tell was made late, but all the while it could be seen that both options were on the table. Not knowing the route is not the same as not knowing the destination. And I don’t think Dabb knows his own destination (and with talking to Berens briefly at Burcon this suspicion has only been compounded in my mind). Up until the Nephilim plot, I thought the general destination was to have Lucifer possess Mary but now that option seems off the table (although I could have sworn I’ve heard Lucifer spoilers for later on in the season?). And while I can definitely appreciate the dialing back of the world affecting mythos (YMMV), Dabb era has not been (structurally speaking) what I expected at all, especially since Dabb’s episodes under Carver always illustrated Carver’s structure so damn well (forever laughing over 9x20 tbh).
Carver era felt like it made every move count. Almost every pop culture reference informed a theme, every “C” plot character (even Cas and Crowley) became a mirror that told one cohesive story in which everyone was involved in. Dabb era? Not so much. Or idk… maybe it only seems that way because there’s no meta writer (that I know of) keeping track of it all and documenting it (that I’ve seen) in essay form. I’m usually still pretty good at seeing it though (even when it’s something I don’t like), and I just don’t see it as things stand. In fact, the only pop culture reference that has even stuck with me is the whole Beyonce and Agent Z thing, to illustrate Crowley and Cas’ antagonism towards one another. Also, notably, there is the matter of Wanek’s absence for a good chunk of S12. While his staff more or less continued with the general look of the show (doing Lucifer 5x16 visual call backs in 12x07 for example), his absence has marked a striking shift in the show’s structural presentation. I’d say the Destiel B plot has particularly suffered, but tbh, there is currently no Destiel B plot (you can squint and Dean’s annoyance over Cas and Crowley working together maybe counts for .2 seconds and sure they are being defined as a definite team, there are no interspecies or same sex mirrors in sight telling their story). Just like there is no Dean and Sam B plot for that matter. A lot of the show’s visual subtext comes from transcribing the key themes between Dean/Sam and Dean/Cas, and without said themes present, there’s just nothing to work with honestly. You’d think there would be some Dean/Mary stuff to make up for it (besides the pie stuff shifting from a Cas theme to a wholesome family theme I got nothing) but nah (or maybe I’m wrong? I honestly don’t follow a lot of meta writers anymore because a good deal of them just too willingly disregard the shows more glaring problems or they are otherwise imo too optimistic in their approach to how the show will handle the repression of Dean Winchester as the plot point relates to both him and others for my personal tastes).
I hope I’ve illustrated my point clearly enough, but I’m kinda rusty with even talking about these kinds of things. My blog is not really a meta blog at all anymore (and honestly, thank Chuck because I would have nothing but the above criticisms all season long about the structure of the season). And despite the above criticisms, I actually have enjoyed the season quite a lot (with the exception of 12x05) so I haven’t really felt the need to point out all the structural stuff on a regular basis! But yeah… there’s just no definitive structure to it and the one theme that is mostly present (the results of absent or bad parenting) is just something that I feel has been talked to death even if it’s through a fresher lens (Mary’s POV in the future) than most.
#ask zerbe#narrative structure#spn criticism#12x01#12x02#12x03#12x04#12x05#12x06#12x07#12x08#tw:rape#long live dabb era#that wouldn't be the tag if i knew then what i know now#but i honestly am enjoying the season#especially from the position of a bitter cas fan#which i would still classify myself as#anyway...#its-the-thieving-magpie#sorry for tagging you jenny#this post is mostly negative and i only vaguely know of you not liking how S11 ended up messing up carver's structure
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WOW 😳 THANK U GUYS 💕💕💕
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what are those scratchy lil brushes you use! like in your Bluey bee-yoop fanart
Hi! Thanks for the question!
It’s the “soft mapping pen (bleed)” brush ^^ I use it on IbisPaintX for most of my drawings 💖 I’m not sure if it’s the same name on other art applications though
#one of my favorite brushes!!! its so fun to use 💖#it’s been a while since someone sent an ask lol 😭😭😭#flutty talks#anon ask
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I feel like there's too much effort put into this year's April Fools for it to only be a prank/joke (I mean, why would Adult Swim make an hour and a half video filled with LWP cameos if the show wasn't even going to happen?). Plus, we all know that this is even more proof that LWP is going to happen!
Exactly what I was thinking! And it’s a little suspicious to bring Pibby back and run a course on Adult Swim for those few hours. I’m sure the show is in the process of being, or already has been, greenlit! Hopefully that happens because the trailer had a huge gathering of attention and I’m sure a LOT of people are expecting it to become a full fledged series. We’ll just have to wait and see!
Also here’s a dumb thing I made rn to accompany my response HDHJSHA
#please excuse the fact that I’m rusty with drawing Sp00ky stuff LOL#learning with pibby apocalypse#learning with pibby#lwp#lwpa#bun bun#bunny#meme#answered#anon ask#flutty talks
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2 Years
A day late because I didn’t have time to post this on the actual anniversary. Regardless, this show has been a huge comfort for me and I’m happy to have found it when I did back when it first came out. When I was at my lowest, I always went to watch some of the episodes and it always did well with making me feel just a little better. I’ve had so many problems during my life and this show helped out when I most needed it.
This is probably a very sappy post, but I really am fond of the show and characters and want to make it known on how much it means to me. I’m 100% sure that season 2 is going to be worth the wait once it’s out and that it’ll be just as amazing & cleverly hilarious as the first one was ❤️
#geah#green eggs and ham#sam i am#guy am i#Michellee#EB#Elanabeth#GEAH anniversary#Dr Seuss#fanart#doodle#flutty talks
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The chaotic energy I can sense for (if) me and my IRL best friend dress as Sam & Guy this Halloween is freaking crazy rn HAGDJJA
#hi im alive#duo time#I was literally Sam last Halloween but yk 😎 second time’s the charm#and now I can match w/ my homie 😭 hopefully#sucks to be a sorta not really young adult rn but got that inner child yk LOL#will be safe this Halloween btw ofc ofc#but ye#HAHDH#my Sam costume is legit just sitting in my closet as of now and is just waiting to be used again HAHSJHA “my time has come#I really wanna wear my pins too but I’m paranoid about them falLING ofF 🙈 like aghhh#oh well I’ll figure it out#green eggs and ham#flutty talks
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Why are people still liking my old posts
#screams#flutty talks#flutty is dying#for realsies tho uh don’t look down there#I have a love hate relationship with my art pFft#anywho ye uh#idk#it’s 3am#I’m tired#uh#Sam I Am#yes#sunglasses#yesss
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The amount of art I’ve made for GEAH is hilarious yet crazy 👏 My entire gallery is just endless doodles all the way from here down to last November (They’re so cringy tho ahhdshd why 😭)
#geah#green eggs and ham#crying#bro#I have a problem#like this show has been my absolute favorite for nearly a year#the writing and animation and everything about it is so wonderfully done#and Sam mainly was a comfort whenever I was at my lowest#the show really helped me a lot along the year and I love it dearly#😪 anywho#ye I have a lot of doodles and I refuse to bring the old ones back lol#flutty is dying#flutty talks#talk#random
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I wish the way my art style looked 2 years ago and so on had looked like my art style now
#okay but fr I don’t get how people liked it back then#I can’t scroll through my gallery without seeing stuff that’s mmm 🤢#genuinely I physically cringe and can’t look at it#sigh#just a tiny ramble/rant thing#flutty talks
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Me at 3am: Welp, I’m tired. Time to go to sle—
My brain: briefcasebuddiesproposalbriefcasebuddiesproposalbriefcasebuddiesproposalbriefcasebuddiesproposalbriefcasebuddiesproposalbriefcasebuddiesproposalbriefcasebuddiesproposal
#flutty is dying#flutty talks#darn those dr seuss characters#usfshdvdjhsjs#no joke tho#oh welp#goodnight#i need sleep#lol#geah#briefcase buddies#yessir#talk#random#okay now goodnight
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Not me listening to 70s pop/disco music while working and immediately having the urge to draw pixel art of tall dog man and short bug man dancing together
I actually did draw that like a week ago but haven’t posted it anywhere but one place 😳 I will do so everywhere else when I’m done with my hiatus — whenever that is wooooo
#geah#lol how specific#yes this is related if you got my reference#those two stupidly adorable boys make me so heckin mad and happy#I promise I’m putting my priorities first but 😳#haha 😭#anyways I’m gonna disappear again and just look from afar at everyone’s posts#school is being such a poophead and I have like no time to do anything but work so#ye#I apologize for rambling if anyone decided to read all this 😂#flutty talks#flutty is dying#flutty is confused#flutty wants to draw but isn’t allowed to because all this work#man 🐄
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