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theadventuresofgarlandodra · 9 months

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The Adventures of Garl and Odra Manyboots- The Knight in Black Armor

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CW: Child Death

Smoke. Smoke and blood.

Odra stumbled back in the village, spinning around and around to look for any survivors. Any at all. All she could see were corpses. Corpses of her fellow goblin defenders, but also the bodies of the elders, the farmers, the ones that just stayed home to mind the village… the ones who never hurt a fly.

Why? Why would someone do this? Odra weaved through the ruins and the death, whipping her head back and forth as she searched for her friends. “Mitemouth? Fatgut? Where are you guys!?” she called out. “Pach? Uglap? Anyone?! Clammaw?! Hello!? Come on, this isn’t funny anymore! Get out here, you all can’t be dead!”

They couldn’t be. She’d only ran away from the fight as a joke. They couldn’t be dead because of her joke.

Her pace picked up as she reached the center of the village, where some of the fires were still going. The smell of burning flesh made her eyes water but she sped up, the babies were there, if they weren’t moved away the fire would soon-

Odra skidded to a dead stop as she realized the fire was located inside of the pen.

No. They couldn’t have been that cruel.

But they’d been crueler.

The smell of lamp oil hung heavy on the air, and a smoldering torch laid in the center of the pen… surrounded by blackened bodies that were little more than skulls twisted in horrible screams and small hands clawing at the dirt, desperately trying to escape their fiery fates.

No.

NO!

Odra didn’t wake up screaming anymore after the nightmares, but it still wasn’t great to have them. The goblin sleepily poked her head out of the Cauldron of Trapfinding (her leverage from the last time she played cards with Dullahan, he still owed her like thirty gold) as her sleepy brain tried to figure out just what had dragged her out of slumberland.

Someone knocked at the door and Odra realized it had to have been that.

“You better have beer or meat for me,” she growled as she flopped out of the cauldron, grabbing her cloak and wrapping it around herself before she ripped opened the door.

Of course, it would be the one morning Odra slept in and looked like dog shit that freakin’ Aunva Zauth would show up.

Odra blinked her eyes a few times to realize that no, this wasn’t a weird continuation of her dream, and that the most gorgeous woman in the guild was right there in front of her. “Oh! A-Aunva! Hiiii!” Odra laughed nervously, trying to seem casual in front of the drow as she leaned up against the door frame. “Morning!”

Aunva giggled, hiding her hand behind her mouth. “It’s actually early afternoon, but I wasn’t sure how late you’d be awake tonight. I’m not really a day person myself. How are you?”

Odra swallowed. “I’m uh, I’m good! I just wanted to get a few extra hours beauty rest, you know?” She laughed nervously. “Whadya need? If you need anything at all, of course.”

The goblin nearly melted when Aunva leaned down to gently pat Odra on the top of the head. “You’re so kind,” the drow said with a smile. “I was actually hoping to make a proposition of you and your friend, the gargoyle, but I like to do my business where we’re all comfortable. So tonight, you and Garl are invited to my home. I live in the Likadell district, you know where that is?”

Odra nodded mutely.

“Excellent! I’ve invited a few other people as well. Don’t worry.” Aunva winked. “I’ll be sure that there’s plenty of meat and beer. I’ll see you then! Oh, and be sure to clean up before you arrive- we’ll be enjoying some time in the new hot spring I had dug, and it’ll save time if you’re not too dirty beforehand.”

The drow straightened back up, smoothed her cape, and like the perfect goddess Odra thought she was she walked down the hallway where a few of her men were waiting for her. Odra sighed and briefly entertained ideas of holding hands and snuggling before she left behind those gooey daydreams to go get ready.

Luckily Garl was as easy as ever to find, he arrived back home from Fit For Kings just as Odra was getting out of the bath.

“Huh. You know, in the three years I’ve known you, this is the first time I’ve seen you willingly take a bath,” the gargoyle noted as Odra picked out the only nice shirt she had to wear.

“We’re going to Aunva’s tonight! And we’re gonna be enjoying her hot spring!” Odra slipped the shirt on before she threw open the most important drawer. “Which shoes should I wear?”

Garl eyed the heap of boots and shoes that Odra had collected. “… How many more have you gotten since the last time I’ve looked at these?” he asked.

“Probably two or three more pairs. The cobbler got busy with a huge order for a wedding,” Odra pulled out two pairs of black ankle height boots. “Should I wear the ones with a gold buckle or should I go silver? The silver has a sapphire anklet that goes really well with it, but I’ve never worn the gold buckle shoes before, so they’re basically brand new!”

Garl took a deep breath before he pointed towards the silver ones. “Just picking at random,” he grumbled.

Odra laughed as she slipped the shoes on. “Hey, the name is Manyboots, I’m a goblin who appreciates good footwear!” she said.

“Uh huh… so I’m getting forced to this thing too? You do realize Aunva’s straight, right?”

Odra’s smile immediately turned into a scowl. “Don’t. Don’t take this from me,” she grumbled.

Garl sighed before he opened up his closet. “Guess I got nothin’ better to do tonight anyway,” he said before pulling out a cloak that somehow hadn’t been torn yet. “This look good?”

~*~

The Zauth manor was as luxurious as one would expect from the wealthy drow lady, but not everyone knew to dress for the occasion.

Sahsi Humble looked a little pale as she fiddled with her pale yellow skirt. “I feel underdressed,” she muttered to Odra.

“You’re not. Dullahan on the other hand,” Odra glowered at the one human in the room. “My guy. What the fuck. Is that fresh blood on your clothes?”

Dullahan shrugged. “I learned something today.”

“What the hell did you learn!?”

“That elf rib cages will collapse under a lighter load compared to human rib cages.”

Odra opened her mouth to respond, only to immediately close it as Aunva walked out the front door. “Welcome, everyone!” The drow lady was beaming. “So glad you all made it! Come with me, the hot spring is delightfully warm tonight.”

Sylvia glanced down at her dress. “Um, this isn’t really hot spring wear,” she mumbled.

Garl smirked. “Don’t think you wear much in the hot spring, Syl,” he pointed out.

Sylvia gaped but before she could say anything Dullahan yanked Garl down by the horn, a disturbingly pleasant smile on the human’s face. “Garl. I’d be very, very careful about how you move forward with this conversation,considering you have two perfectly good eyeballs that would make a great ingredient for darksight concoctions,” he said.

Garl swallowed and nodded while Dullahan continued to smile and released the gargoyle.

Aunva either didn’t notice the conversation or chose not to acknowledge it. “We have towels, Sylvia. Depending on the culture, it’s appropriate or inappropriate to wear a towel in the springs, but in my home, you do what makes you and the people around you comfortable,” she said, her crimson gaze flicking over towards Garl for a second before she gestured them forward. “Come along!”

There were two separate rooms and the guests split off based off their gender into them. Aunva had clearly planned for a variety of guests as she had towels of multiple sizes, depending on the size of the person using them.

Odra wrapped a bright orange towel around her waist and gave it a pat. “Comfy!” she decided before glancing up at the confused Sylvia. “Yeah?”

“… You’re supposed to…” She gestured to her own black towel that was tucked over her chest. “You know?”

“Syl, I’m a goblin.” Odra pointed towards her flat chest. “There’s no boobs for anyone to see. You see any titties worth covering up?”

Sylvia blinked a few times before turning away. “Let’s just get into the spring,” she said quickly.

Aunva chuckled as she braided her hair up around her head. “Oh, to be young and have shame again,” she teased.

“You better be talking about the dhampir and not me,” Odra deadpanned before she realized who she was talking to. “I mean-”

“You’re fine, little Odra.” The drow finished tying up her hair. “Goblins don’t have the same standard of modesty as humans or elves of any branch. I wouldn’t expect to hold you to those standards. Come on, I think the boys are already out there.”

The hot springs were the peak of luxury, with places around the pools to set down platters of light snacks and flower petals sprinkled across the surface of the water. Both Dullahan and Garl were in fact already out there. Dullahan had sunk into in the water down to his nose while Garl’s wings were fully spread out, taking up more than his fair share of the hot spring. Sylvia was the first in the spring, taking a spot next to Dullahan and sinking down to her chin. Odra flung herself in afterwards, belly flopping on the surface and sinking down before popping up to spew out water like a nightmarish fountain. She swam over towards Garl and sat on his knee.

“Right, it’s so good you all could come,” Aunva began as she stepped into the pool. “Would you like refreshments? We have fresh pomegranate juice, fruits, cheese, whatever you like. If I don’t have it, I’ll send one of my boys to go fetch it in town.”

Garl glanced over at the other pool, where Aunva’s ‘boys’ were relaxing and chatting amongst themselves. “Any reason they’re over there and not with us?” he asked.

“Because they haven’t earned it yet,” Aunva said, as if that answered everything.

Dullahan said something that was masked by the water before he popped up enough to speak clearly. “That’s a bit of a dick move, isn’t it?” he asked.

“It’s a part of the game, darling Dullahan,” Aunva explained. “If they don’t want to play it anymore, they take the collars off. We can go months without playing this game, but we’ve gone twice as long playing it.”

Dullahan glanced over at the men, and the dragonborn waved back at them. “Right. Well, I’m not hungry. What’s up, Aunva?” he said before he sank back into the water.

“Right to business. Can’t say I’m overly surprised, but perhaps let’s get it over with so we can spend the rest of the night relaxing.” Aunva snapped her fingers. “Nuo, darling, bring the wanted poster.”

One of the humans lounging in the other hot spring got out and, after he dried off his hands, fetched a paper off one of the tables and brought it over. Aunva patted his hand. “Thank you, you can return with the others,” she said.

When Nuo left, Aunva unfolded the paper and showed it off. There was a sketch of a man in black armor, along with a lot of gold for in his capture, dead or alive.

Odra whistled as she stood up to get a better look. “Who’s this creep?”

“They don’t know his name or what he looks like under that helmet,” Aunva explained as she refolded up the paper and set it back on the side of the hot spring. “What is known is that he has followers, they’re all incredibly violent, and they’re responsible for the razing of several small villages. Everyone they don’t kill they sell to slavers. Their targets are getting more and more brazen as well. After I studied their path with Ficas, we know where they’re hitting next. And I’m here to ask if you want in on this.”

Garl cocked an eyebrow. “Why are you coming to us?” he asked.

“I know none of you are in this for the glory. You’re in it for the entertainment and the gold.” Aunva spread her arms out. “I have enough wealth to keep me more than content for another century or two. I don’t want for anything… save for a little more room in the back lawn here so we can have afternoon tea, but I digress. No, what I want is the respect of bringing in a catch like this knight in black armor.”

Sahsi cocked her head to the side. “I mean, I’m doing this because I want to do the right thing, but… this guy sounds really awful,” she shuddered.

Aunva nodded. “Oh, he’s the worst people have to offer. Which is why I want to drag that bloodthirsty scourge in front of King Sostias for my reward. I’ll probably get a few ballads written about me, no doubt I’ll be knighted since I was instrumental in the capture of a menace. And if you help me, seventy five percent of the bounty is yours. The remaining twenty five percent will go to my boys, I’m sure you understand.”

Garl twisted his mouth but before he could respond Odra hurled herself off his lap and swam over to Aunva. “Ma’am, I think I speak for all of us when we say- we are fucking in,” she said.

Aunva patted the goblin on the head, and Odra sunk beneath the surface of the water as she practically melted in a goblin puddle. “You’re so sweet. Well, I’ll take it you mean yourself and Garl, so Dullahan? Sylvia? Sahsi?”

Sahsi cleared her throat. “Well, if I can help capture this monster, then I’ll come along,” she said.

Dullahan glanced at Sylvia, and the two had a muttered conversation between themselves before Dullahan looked forward. “We’ll come along,” he said.

“Excellent! We’ll leave tomorrow night, I don’t really care to travel during the day,” she gestured to her eyes, “you understand. Light sensitivity. Well, I’ll go get those refreshments. I’ll throw in some wine as well, to celebrate this agreement.”

Garl reached under the water’s surface and plucked the lovestruck Odra up. “You’re going to drown if you don’t get back over here,” he said.

“Mmhmm,” the goblin agreed.

“Great. After we’re done here, I’ll get our weapons sharpened… you, I don’t know, keep planning your wedding to a straight woman that will literally live over a hundred times longer than you.”

“Mmhmm…”

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