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normal-thoughts-official · 4 years

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Since no one talks about it and everyone is hellbent over "good parent Asmodeus" I wanna know your take on the abuse and manipulation asmodeus did on Magnus... Both before the show timeline and during it it is a simple request no pressure hbhby

hoo boy okay let's buckle up for this i guess. warning for emotional, psychological and physical child abuse ahead everybody, stay safe

seriously im halfway through writing this answer now and this got very very dark so like if these are triggering to you, please skip this one

okay so as all abusers i think that asmodeus was a master at using Magnus' previous trauma, ie his mum's and stepfather's death, against him. Magnus had just lost the person he loved most, almost been murdered, and killed his abuser, as well as losing everything - he couldn't support himself and i have the feeling that he was so terrified after his stepfather's murder, so convinced he was a monster for it, hell, he still is even in show canon, he might have just fled. and then we have a homeless Magnus living on the streets, guilty and terrified and utterly alone

and he's convinced that his mum's death is his fault, his stepfather told him so, said he was a monster, a demon, and that's why she had killed herself. and then he murdered his stepfather, thus, in his head, becoming the exact monster his mum feared. his mum was right. he was a monster. a murderer. a demon. he was everything he feared and she hated him and she was right to hate him, too-

and i think asmodeus deliberately waited until he was at his limit to show up. i mean he's gotta have been keeping tabs on Magnus, he was his all powerful son after all, his heir, his weapon. there's no way asmodeus didn't know exactly what was happening, and i think that he deliberately waited until Magnus was within an inch of his life, exhausted, starving, almost depleted of magic, shivering and cold and crying alone on the street, before showing up. so Magnus wouldnt question him. so Magnus would feel indebted to him. so Magnus would feel like he needs him

and when he does rescue Magnus, boy, he makes this whole show of taking him somewhere safe, giving him plenty of water and endless food, covering him in blankets and getting him nice feeling clothes, cleaning him - just the most and best of everything, to really emphasize the difference, really make it seem terrifying to ever be away from him again, when clearly, without him, he was nothing

and asmodeus would have explained it all to him, say that his stepfather was right, he was a demon, like asmodeus was. Magnus would be so scared, "he tried to kill me," and he'd be almost flippant about it, "oh, mundanes. it's what they do. they hate us." he'd thwarp what happened with the stepfather deeply in Magnus' head, make it seem like his stepfather's abusive behavior was normal, just what they always did, and that magnus' anger over it, his righteous anger, born of fear, and the need to survive, was an overreaction. the proof of his demonic heritage - of the evil inside of him. proof that he was the same as asmodeus, that he should turn his back to his humanity

and Magnus is confused, and hurt, and scared, because simultaneously his stepfather was bad and tried to kill him and that is proof that he can't trust mundanes and that asmodeus is all he has- but he also didn't hurt Magnus all the other times before, he never mistreated him, all these times he hit him or his mum and called them dirty and disgusting, no, that was nothing much, that was normal. it was magnus' anger that was out of place, proof that he was a monster, was a demon, was like asmodeus. should stay with him

we know that asmodeus wanted Magnus because with his magic he could have even stronger power blah blah blah so im guessing that asmodeus' plan was basically to train Magnus, bring him to his side, wait until he was mature and strong, and then try to defeat Lilith? so for that to have you know not happened Magnus would have to have banished him when he was still a kid, but anyway, that's another can of worms and I'll get to that (probably)

so he needs to turn Magnus away from the mundane world, make him want to come to edom, possibly convince him that he cant be happy in edom because Lilith wont help him, and then have him kill Lilith? and so he has to convince Magnus that mundanes are bad, going to hurt him, and that he doesnt belong with them, and so that's the narrative that he builds, normalizing his stepfathers' behavior, reminding him that even his mum didnt love him, because he wasn't a person, wasnt human, and they'd never love him as he was, and he didn't love them, either. no matter how much magnus' heart ached for his mum, and his friends, and his dukun tutor, asmodeus kept telling him that he didn't love them, couldn't have, because he was a demon, and they were beneath him. and if Magnus asked too many questions, got too confused, fought that idea too much, he'd lash out, scream, almost burn Magnus wirh the terrible dark fire of his magic

and Magnus was terrified and would hide, and he'd be like, oh, my little thing, I'd never hurt you, don't you see? that was just my magic, of course i wouldnt hurt you, im not like them. and then hed hug a trembling, shaking Magnus, who had no idea what was real anymore

eventually this started to intertwine with ideas of royalty too - you are too good for them, Magnus, you are a royal, you have a right to everything your heart desires, and they treated you like trash. you have to forget these stupid mundanes. they're beneath you

and he definitely made Magnus kill/hurt more people, possibly threatened him, said that he needed to get stronger, to stop caring so damn much, because Magnus has always been kind, and eager to help, and ultimately good, and asmodeus needed to destroy that. so he pushed and pushed him, told him that he was weak if he didnt do what asmodeus said, and that asmodeus would do it himself. that he'd leave him again, and how would that be, huh, being homeless again, would his precious mundanes have mercy? would they care? no, they'd leave him to die and spit on his face, and yet here he was, pitying them. like a whiny, weak baby, not the royal asmodeus expected him to be

and if Magnus still didn't quite manage to satisfy asmodeus, because he took too long, cried too much, pleaded too much- then he'd get punished. i think that punishment came basically in the form of magic depletion/exhausting him. Magnus is freakishly good at holding back from magic depletion, has sustained his magic and pushed way past his limits many times throughout the show, sometimes for full uninterrupted minutes. i think thats why. because asmodeus "trained" him to be able to, with his punishments

he possibly used that as an excuse - since you insist on being so weak, we have to make you stronger. so he'd make Magnus use his magic for hours at a time, no breaks, until he was shaking and trembling and crying with the effort, and then he'd leave him depleted and exhausted and have him recover on his own. that's what you are without magic, he'd tell him. nothing. do you understand now? why you can never be like them? do you want to end up like this for the rest of your life? I worry about you, Magnus, i really, really do. kill this stupid sentimentalist mundane side, before it kills you.

Magnus said, without magic, i feel like i dont matter. And don't get me wrong, i think the show made it pretty clear that magic is a part of warlocks, that without it they are incomplete, unhappy. but the fact that he specifically said i feel like i dont matter makes me feel like this is something that asmodeus drilled into his head. without magic he was nothing. and he really wasnt, because that's all asmodeus wanted him for

magicless Magnus? asmodeus despised him. for the whole time he was recovering from the magic depletion, asmodeus could barely spare him a glance. he was cruel about it, too. what? aren't you happy that you're like these mundanes you love so much? I'm just treating you as such. and then, when his magic started to come back, when he managed to do a trick- asmodeus would change completely. smile wide. hug him. that's my boy! and it would seem like asmodeus loved him, and everything would seem okay. when he had magic, he mattered, he was important, and asmodeus loved and took care of him. when he didn't, asmodeus wouldnt even touch him, wouldnt want to eat with him, would barely talk to him

so the prospect of losing his magic was terrifying, and sometimes Magnus would plead with him, please, dad, no training, i promise to be good, i dont want to be without my magic. and asmodeus would say why are you so worried? it's just training. and Magnus would say, because i always end up without magic. and asmodeus would snap, well, you aren't supposed to, do you think I'd push you over your limit on purpose? you were supposed to be able to handle it, but you aren't, you're weak. why do you think i get so disappointed? i want you to be strong, Magnus, like you're meant to be

that was always what he said, too, in canon. when he gave Magnus his pretzel, he said, for your strength. he didn't care if Magnus was well, or happy, or if he fucking liked pretzels. only that he was strong. and that is definitely a trope here

anyway! at this point asmodeus is already telling him about going to edom, about how he'll be safer there, away from people, happier. and Magnus is terrified, because he doesn't want to be away. he loves people, and most of them arent bad. he loves food. he loves music, and art, and architecture. he loves seeing the world. he loves learning languages and seeing new animals and plants and cultures. he doesn't want to be away from the world. he doesn't want to be with asmodeus

and asmodeus, of course, has carefully kept from him that other warlocks exist, that theres a warlock community out there, because if he knew that, then he'd have an alternative to being with asmodeus, even with his whole mundanes will always hate you blah blah blah speech. but there's only so long he could keep this from Magnus, right? he can feel other people's magic through the ley lines, they can feel his. it was only a matter of time.

i think it was ragnor, honestly, the first one he met. ragnor who told him, kid, there's a life out there, we're alive and we're many and we're happy, and we're there for each other. there's an alternative. and Magnus could cry with relief, because he didn't want to be with his dad anymore, but he was so terrified of being alone and on his own again

so he throws himself into studying, telling asmodeus that he wants to know about demonic magic to go to edom. and he learns about his weaknesses, and what a banishment is, and how to do it. and so when he's about to hit his maturity, he tells asmodeus he wants to visit. and because portals dont exist yet, he has to make this whole elaborate thing- and he tricks asmodeus, sets a trap, i dont know, and instead of simply taking them there, he banishes asmodeus, and stays

and so he goes and finds that weird british old man, and asks him if he can go to the warlocks' place. and ragnor chuckles and tells him that the world is the warlocks' place, that they're everywhere, that he'll teach him. and so he takes Magnus to meet other warlocks, and join the community, and start working. he still loves mundanes, and plus, after all the bad he feels he's done for them, he wants to help. so he lives among them and makes friends with them and dates them and works among them and gets wealthy, and grows, and he's somewhat happy, even if most of the time he has to hide what he is, even if he still feels lonely and bad and like a monster, a killer, a demon. but he got rid of him, and he can, maybe, become something else, if he tries really hard to find his humanity again, and make up for his mistakes, and the pain he's caused

i think asmodeus is responsible for most of the guilt Magnus feels, for a great part of his immortality blues - after all, thats what most clearly separates him from mundanes, makes him different, unable to be a part of their world - and for his feelings that hes a monster. he tells alec he hopes alec doesn't think less of him because of his father, because a part of him still believes that being asmodeus' son makes Magnus like him. he says he's ugly and dark, because asmodeus convinced that's all he could ever be. he has a huge resistance and pain/exhaustion tolerance because of course he does. and he tries to sacrifice himself all the time because hes convinced that he doesnt matter and doesn't belong, that no one would miss him because they cant love him, because hes different. and that was all definitely planted on him by asmodeus, and later watered by camille ofc

#ask #pastaingallday #long post #like really long #abuse tw #child abuse tw #emotional abuse #psychological abuse #physical abuse #sh #shadowhunters #magnus bane #angst #overflowing trashcan #meta #sh meta

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mayamatiln · 7 years

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i don't know if you have done something like this before but who are your favorite degrassi characters of all time and why?

I love this question! So much because I get to talk about all my favs. Also this may get kinda long… sorry…

Johnny DiMarco - All. Time. Favorite. Ever. Haha kinda random right? He is the embodiment of character development. He was introduced as a bully and the guy who watched JT get killed and almost everyone hated him. It isnt until Bust a Move when I saw him at the Red Pines camp with Darcy that I realized that even one of the most hated characters on the show at the time was in fact very human and just a teenager. Throughout season 8 and 9 we see him fall in love with Alli because for once in his life someone actually seems to really care about him and thinks he is better than the asshole that he acts like at school. But still he makes mistakes and loses her but he comes out of it a better person than he was before. When we see him in season 10 at college he has finally matured into the nice man that I saw underneath way back in season 7 and I am so proud of everything he became. I could literally talk for days about my love for him but I won’t.

Cam Saunders - My sweet sweet sad puppy. Too good and pure for this world. I have never fallen for a character as fast as I have for Cam (literally I knew he was my favorite character by just watching the Bite Your Tongue promo). He just wanted to be happy but he just didnt know how to get help. His smile was the brightest thing I’ve ever seen. And his relationship with Maya was so cute. Dylan Everett did a fantastic job portraying him and managed to leave such a huge impression on me after not even a full season on the show.

Maya Matlin - She had such a beautiful and logical character arc. In her first few seasons I was pretty indifferent to her because she never really had a deep heart wrenching plot until Cam died. It was her experience with grief and anxiety and depression that drew me to her because she struggled with this mental illness that was triggered by Cam’s suicide for not just a few episodes after he died but for YEARS after. It became an essential part of her character that stayed with her all the way until DNC s4. Degrassi has rarely done an issue like that that spans over seasons but with Maya they did and it was handled so well. Also her drive and her dedication to chasing her dreams on being a musician is so inspiring to me. Her relationship with music was so lovely and it’s incredible that she never lost sight of her dream and the music always came back to her.

Sean Cameron - MY BOY. He has seriously been a favorite of mine since the very beginning. The “bad boy” with a heart of gold really is my type. He is so caring and kind and would do anything for the people he loves. He always felt like he was never good enough and watching him grow up and mature into such a responsible man makes me so proud. His relationship with Emma was a defining characteristic of the show and the way he loved her and became part of the Nelson-Simpson clan is one of my favorite things. He was so brave and loyal and even though he made mistakes he always owned up to them. I miss him everyone and would literally pay for them to bring him back for a guest spot because lets be real his final episode was total BS.

Craig Manning - Craig was so complex! He was charming and handsome but from the moment he was introduced he had a lot of really hard stuff going on in his life. He struggled with an abusive parent and was diagnosed as bipolar and managed to make it in the music business only to then become addicted to cocaine. But still he managed to “make it through” and be all the better for it. He would do anything for his friends and family. God he is just so swoon worthy!

Alli Bhandari - From her first moment on the show she stole my heart. Sassy and confident and smart. She was always such a great friend to Clare and Jenna. Even though she made A LOT of stupid mistakes over the years due to her immaturity and her naivety she grew up so much over the years and managed to make it into Cambridge to go study science. Her love of school and science I always related to and it was so refreshing to see such an outgoing confident beautiful girl who had guys chasing after her be seen as this smart intellectual.

Zig Novak - He may be a fuck boy but he’s my fuck boy. Zig has always been a huge idiot with a heart of gold. That boy always loved with everything he had and when he crashed he crashed hard and somehow he always found a way to get up again. He has done a lot of stuff over the years that I didn’t necessarily agree with but after DNC S4 he developed into a man that I am proud of. He was always there for Maya when she was going through stuff and whenever she failed he was always there to help her pick up the pieces. After falling into a gang and being kicked out by his parents before Grade 10, he managed to turn out all right. Plus, have you seen those arms?!

Holly J Sinclair - Literal. Goals. Yeah she started out at the spawn of Satan and the Paige Michalchuk wannabe, but she grew into this confident and independent woman who would stop at nothing to achieve her goals. During s10 she sort of lost that spark that made her so iconic but season 9 Holly J was LEGENDARY.

Emma Nelson - How could I not love the the girl who started it all? I love her so much because after growing up with Emma she practically feels like family to me. Her struggles were my struggles and her triumphs were mine. Yes I am still bitter about how badly they wrapped up her character. It was disrespectful and rude. But despite that I love Emma to death. I hope one day she leaves Spinner for Sean and manages to save all the endangered animals and dying rainforests.

Lola Pacini - MY BEAUTIFUL BUBBLEGUM PRINCESS. To be honest in s14 I hated her. She was annoying and whiney and a waste of space. BUT Degrassi Next Class changed everything. Each season made me fall more and more in love with her. In seasons 1&2 she became the funny friend who did stupid stuff but you still adored. Her masturbation plot is, to this day, still one of my favorite plots of all time. In seasons 3&4 though we saw her go through some really serious stuff involving a lot of emotions and I was so proud of her for still having that sunshine like personality about her. She is a fantastic friend and beautiful soul. I would be so lucky to have a friend just like Lola. She inspires me to be the best kind of friend I could possibly be.

#degrassi #dnc #johnny dimarco #cam saunders #maya matlin #sean cameron #craig manning #alli bhandari #zig novak #holly j sinclair #emma nelson #lola pacini #sorry this is so long #anon #Anonymous #taylor talks

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